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Issue #1 / March 2004
Large In Charge Featured Person
From a Female's Point of View
This month's subject: BBW & SSBBW Clothing
Email Raqui: email@example.com
This Months Gripe: BBW and SSBBW clothing
NOTE: This gripe is not intended to bash, discourage, or insult any manufactures of BBW or SSBBW clothing. This is just my personal thoughts and feelings I have experienced. All sites are anonymous, and I will not reveal their identities.
One of the things that bothers me the most about BBW and SSBBW clothing (mostly SSBBW clothing), is the fact that after a certain size, charts become different per site. I cant buy much clothing out of catalogs, unless they are orientated from the internet because I am a SSBBW (6'4 580lbs). But every site that sells large clothing has there own size chart. So I can go to many different sites and never wear the same size. That can be very confusing. There should be a universal chart for large sizes.
Site #1: At this site I got a size 4 in a blouse, but the other blouses that are a size 4 wont fit me. Why is that? If I can fit into one blouse that is size 4, shouldn't I fit into all the size 4's. They say it is because of cut or material. I understand that aspect. But it is not fair. I see all the beautiful shirts and blouse's but can only fit into 1. I have spent up to an hour on the phone trying to get bust, waist and hip measurements on each shirt/blouse I like, to find out that on a list of 15, I can only fit 1. But yet that blouse is a size 4, same size as all the others. I want to know why cant all the size 4's be cut the same. I noticed that each size 4 had different bust, waist and hip measurements. To me that doesn't make sense. Sell them by the measurements, not by sizes, if you are going to cut each blouse differently. None have a universal bust, waist and hip measurement. It is a shame that you can order many items all the same size, from this one site, and they are all cut differently, and will not fit the same. If you don't call in for the measurements of each items you will be returning some of the items.
Site #2: A Great Place to buy lingerie for BBW and SSBBW women. But for the cost of the damn stuff, can you put an under wire in it so my breasts are not hanging down and looking weird? I have priced under wire's, and at the most if you don't buy in bulk they are 1.00 each. I believe if I am paying, almost 100 dollars per item that cost you about 10-30 dollars to make, depending on the material. I think you can stick in a couple of under wires. Another solution is to put a shelf bra in some of the items. A shelf bra is a simple spandex lycra tube top, sewn into the item itself. If your breasts are big like a lot of BBW and SSBBW's, it keeps your breasts from hitting your stomach. You actually look like you have breasts instead of pancakes being flatted against your body. Not all lingerie fashions can have a shelf bra. But some can have them and the others should have under wires. On another note, please give some support to the straps of your items. They are quite thin and not re-enforced. The straps do not lay flat, they roll up instead. When your a big woman you don't need straps digging into your shoulders.
Site #3: This site has some nice items though they are a bit expensive. One positive thing I can say is that they cut there clothing properly when it comes to sizes. You can order many items all the same size and they all fit, tops and bottoms included. They do need a better example of colors of there clothing. For example I ordered some sets from them. The pictures showed very light bright, pastel colored outfits. I got the outfits and it was about 10 times darker than in the picture. A close up picture of the material would help as far as judging colors. I was a bit disappointed with a beautiful dress I saw on there site. I bought it thinking WOW. But the straps were the spaghetti style, and the dress had no shelf bra in it so my breasts fell down. I am begging, If the dress is made in a way that you cant wear a bra, please put in a shelf bra. We need some kind of support. Also my spaghetti strap almost broke from trying it on. I believe if I would have worn this dress outside the straps would brake from the weight of my breasts.
Site #4: They offer some nice clothing in nice fabrics. They can custom some clothing also. I have bought some items from them, but I have to say the truth. I love you guys, but I don't know what size I am from one item to the other. I love what your doing. The charts are great. But I find it discouraging that one item I fit in a 6x then the other is an 8x, somewhere in-between I am a 7X. I got one item that was so big in the arms and armholes that I look like I can fly in it. I would have to have major tailoring done to it to fit me like I have a shape. The items need a bit more tuck in for waists. I looked like a giant draped blob. If I would have got it tailored I would have ended up spending about 30 extra dollars. They would have to take it all apart to fix it. I would have sent it back but I bought it for a special occasion and with nothing else to wear, I wore it and I was stuck with it. The materials are nice, though I wish they put the really Beautiful items in more colors and materials. Instead some of there shirts are just really ugly prints. I cant see any women even skinny looking good in them. OF COURSE THAT IS JUST MY THOUGHTS. But shirts with prints that look like giant flying jelly beans, or multi color Daisy's from the 60's is not what a big woman needs. Some of it is always good to lend variety. Those nice stylish club clothing with more variation is what we need, or course in more colors and fabrics. I did get some pants made, the material and was good. I gave them the size of my waist, but they didn't make it right. The waist was so big that when I wore them out, I was pulling my pants up all night. I will get that fixed but I wish it would have been ready to wear out the package.
Now don't get all upset. I know how hard it is to make clothing for the ample bodies that exist. I am happy we have so many sites that make clothing. Though I must admit many times I am to scared to buy from them, because I never know if the item will fit me properly. It is very difficult to run to a post office and pay to have it returned. I have actually spent a hundred or more dollars returning items at my cost, to end up without one item to wear. Besides the size issues, is the fact that enormous prices are being charged for the clothing. The sewing of the items are many times shabby and not worth the thread they were sewn with. I and many other women end up getting brand new clothing that has be redo done and fixed. Another additional cost that we go through. At the prices being charged the clothing should be sewn properly. Just because we don't have many options for clothing, doesn't mean we should wear just anything made in anyway. Enforcement of the seams should be done automatically because we are big women and need it.
I know what your going to say. Put your money where your mouth is. Well I am going to try and design some nice clothing made properly for large women. Maybe even have a line one day. I wish we had a standard to go by as far as sizes for larger ladies who go into the SSBBW category. I have been wondering for years what my size was. But with all the sites using there own standard I could never figure it out. I have to say anywhere between a 4 and a 9X.
Thanks for Reading,
My Gripe of the Month
Would you like to give your comments?
Email Raqui: firstname.lastname@example.org
MONTHS LIKES: BBW EVENTS (From a Man's Point of View)
TOP 4 REASONS FOR LIKING BBW EVENTS
It's a good thing because for all the guys who complain about big girls, we (adult fa's) really never wanted you to like them anyway. That's more for us! The forums also brought about a very important word "acceptance", which in my opinion, is the right word for all those who don't understand the "Big World". You either accept that we got our own thing, like it or not!
Holla at ya boy
Thanks for reading my Likes
Would you like to give your comments?
Email Jay: email@example.com
What does food represent to us?
When does Food become "NOT GOOD" for you?
Large In Charge Guest Spot
We want to hear and see your talents!
By: Raquel Hernandez
I cannot even conceive of the time,
when I didn't realize my beauty.
When I felt that I was not alluring,
not lovely, not attractive.
When I felt that it was your pity,
or just my personality.
That brought others to me.
When it was all a lie to be happy and large.
But it was true. I didnít know that I was special.
But I came to a realization
All of what I am.
My body abundantly rich and fulfilling.
Softer than butter.
Richer than cream.
Warm and heated and unbelievably passionate.
Sweet Scents lingering between folds of flesh.
Just waiting for an eager nose to find them.
A tender tongue to touch them.
Lasting lips to kiss upon my softening body.
When I felt passion for myself.
I believed I was sensual and sexy.
Beautiful and a Darling.
When I loved myself, I saw more than fat
When I came to the realization.
That I was already,
everything I wanted to be.
I didnít have to change.
I didnít need to become someone,
or something I wasnít.
I didnít have to prove anything,
to anyone, but myself.
Allowing myself to be myself,
Regardless of size or the worlds thoughts.
Why did I allow the people around me to dictate
What is right wrong, beautiful or normal.
No one can tell another person what there favorite flower is.
Nor can they tell them to like another color.
I would never permit a person to tell me,
what type of song I should listen to.
You would never let someone tell you,
What tastes best.
Only you can decide those things.
So I decided to love myself.
I decided that I wasnít going to let others,
make me feel inferior,
because of look, size, color, or race.
I am not going to allow them to,
change my mind, thus affecting my life.
I was going to take control.
And it all started,
Large in Charge Art
We are looking for all you wonderful Artist to contribute your wonderful BBW/SSBBW/BHM Artwork.
If you would like your art work to be featured in our newsletter please email Raqui firstname.lastname@example.org
Attach your art work in a jpg or gif format. If you need help send an email. Thank you
We are working with on finding a cartoonist and hope to have our first
Large in Charge Cartoon in the next few months!
If your interested in working with us on a cartoon, artwork or other
things for the Newsletter Email Raqui
Large In Charge - Ask Us
Ask Raqui and Jay the questions you always wanted to.
Get the female and male point of view.
Ask Raqui and Jay your questions
Q: Hey Raqui, Fa's (Fat Admirers) are always asked the question, "Why do you like big women?" But I would like to ask the women. Why do big women think we like them? - Billy Boy
A: Well Billy Boy from my point of view. I believe for every body type there is someone who likes you. For every race, creed and color. Who you are attracted to is a part of you and you don't control it. It is similar to liking the color red verse blue. You don't know why you just do. What I have heard from men is they like the softness. The roundness. The way a chunky face makes you look youthful. The feeling of weight. The plump feeling and look of bigness. You often hear of or see men who don't know why they love big women. They have the skinny trophy wife at home but there mistress is big. And the wife always says, "Why you go with her over me." Because in his eyes and in his feelings he loves the bigness. It feels better to him but society tells him he needs a slim woman.
Why do they like it? I believe it is just preference. It is what stimulates your visually, mentally and physically. Why? Who knows. But thank god for the men who do!
Q: Dear Raqui, From one lady to another how do you deal with stares? I know you get them a lot you so tall and all. - Nicky
A: Nicky, all large people male and female deal with stares at one time or another. But now it seems as though people are staring less than a few years ago. But of course you do have that person who is just staring. With out any manners to stop when you turn your head. I often stare back until they realize, they are now being watched. My sisters on many occasions would say " Yeah keep looking we know she big and gorgeous". Sometimes I will just say. You like something you see? or are you just a rude person? With children I do the same thing. I do urge parents to teach there children proper ways to address people of size. I have had children who were way to big to be so bold and say. Damn you so Fat! I tell them right back. And your the rudest little boy/girl I have ever seen. Or I just imitate the way they say things to me. That is just my thing for dealing with big kids who are rude and know better. I have never had a parent tell me anything about my response to their child. I have also had kids come up to me and say, "You have a big tummy!" and pat it and smile. That is not seen as a bad in my eyes. I let them touch me if they want to. I think it comforts them and maybe they have a big family member at home and find it nice to touch. I try to deal with staring in a mature way. Not a nasty way. A way that says Hey I am a person just like you. You can look but don't be rude.
Q: Que Pasa Raqui, As a BBW/SSBBW what do you feel is the biggest problem you face when it comes to dating men?
A: Well I used to find the fact that I was big, and couldn't fit everywhere a problem. So I wouldn't want to go out. I ended up staying home or asking the guy to come over for a take out/movie night, at home instead of a night on the town. I got tired of that, I want to go out not sit in my house. So now, I don't have that problem anymore. I tell a man out right what I need if he wants to date me. Anything from a cab ride to comfortable seating. If he wants to take me to a restaurant I haven't been to, I will ask him about the seats and if it would be comfortable for me. If we go someplace neither of us has been to, I make sure that I ask the manager or the person who seats us what kind of seating do they have.
Example: Hello, I would like to know if you have any booths with tables that move (not nailed down or attached to the walls). Or do you have seats with out side rails. If they are not sure I ask to look around and find my own seat. If they don't have proper seating that I will be comfortable with I will leave. It is the responsibility of the establishment to have seating that is comfortable to all people. If I am not satisfied I have no problem leaving. I tell this to my date also so he understands. Sometimes you have to wait a bit for the proper seat. I rather wait a bit and have conversation with my date than to sit uncomfortable threw a meal.
Q: Dear Raqui, Do you think BBW/SSBBW women prefer skinny men, big men or men who are in-between? - Tyrone
A: From what I know the choice is different for every woman. Some prefer slimmer men because they tend to fit better when it come to sexual relations (especially if she is not that flexible). But then again some do not want to feel so big next to a man so they don't want slimmer men. Some find heavy set men, to heavy if they cant tolerate the weight. Some often feel it is to much work in some ways to deal with a big man. Then again some find them warm and cuddly and wouldn't want anything, but someone as easy to bounce on as themselves. Some want men with big legs because they are stronger and some want men with slimmer legs because they again fit easier. Then there is the in-between ranges that each have a positive and negative effect depending on the woman. These are just some physical reasons I have heard for liking different kinds of men. So the real preference is with each woman individually and finding the woman who likes your type. Just like us women have to find men who like our type.
Being hard up is assuming that you don't have guys who like you. Now there
are enough men in the clubs that women have a lot of choice. The hard up
"because your fat" myth should now be a dead issue. Even though, in my
opinion, the word "Easy", big girls have a right to be easy, if they wanna
be! If you do get approached by guys who think that your easy and you
don't like it, I suggest that you tell them that your not impressed and
your not interested. Big girls have a right to say "No"! I have heard of
some guys who do come to BBW clubs looking for sex but there are also guys
who are looking for love and relationships too. Same goes for the women.
Another suggestion, if your really not feeling the club scene try social
groups or dating services.
Dear Jay, I am told that I am a very attractive SSBBW. When I go out to
the plus size events, no one ever talks to me. I spend a lot of time doing
my hair, makeup, dress right, smelling good and I can't even get a guy to
say hi to me? When I see a men look at me, I will smile, wave at them and
say "Hi", but still no one talks to me. Why? - Princess
I suggest you hit up our message board and maybe tell the ladies your
definition being a "nice guy". What's that all about? Also, my column is
here to sometimes help guys understand the uniqueness of a BBW and how to
love her. Even though, I'm not perfect, I'm still learning myself. I can
say I'm fortunate to be in the mix and presently surrounded by many BBW's
who tend to give me good advice on how to please a BBW.
Example: Romance. I once heard of a guy who cooked his SSBBW some food (a big breakfast) early before his woman woke up. Then he brought it in to her on a tray, sat it on the bed, and said "Baby this is for you". Another guy brought a BBW a rose and laid it on the bed. When she walked in the room, he said "surprise honey", I just wanted to show you that I loved you. Me being a typical man, I thought this was romance! Come to find out, the BBW's in this group taught me a few things that I would've never thought of. The key word in the breakfast issue was SSBBW. Big girls like to eat man! Breakfast is cute but romance to a big woman is when you bring in the meals that she "loves to eat". I was told romance is not sitting the tray down but feeding it to her or at least some of it. The next case with the rose is how you dress up the rose. Ladies like candles burning, rose pedals leading up to the rose, Lavert or Jahiem playing on the sound system, some candy and a card....then the rose on the bed. The point is that some guys are naturally romantic to BBW's but most guys (like myself) need to learn a few things. Largeincharge.com is where they can come to learn!
So, yeah I know a few good ones, but if your not down to be willing to
respect them as descent ladies and put some rules on the table, then we're
bound to run into problems. Plus the ladies in our staff will screen you!
Bottom line, when you roll with us, wash your ass man, make sure your
clothes are clean, your breath and body smelling good, go to the barber
shop, bring a little gift when you go on a date, complement a nice looking
BBW when you see her, and what ever you do...never ask a BBW to go dutch!
The hook up? just come correct or don't come at all..."don't start no
shit, won't be no shit"!
So cousin Dee, thanks for the support...as for the huge fat chick comment...only the strongest backs can survive! Don't be skarred!