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Issue #8 - October 2004

Welcome to the Large In Charge Newsletter


In this Issue of L.I.C


Featured Person -  Nikki Carr Plus Sized Comedian


Raqui's Spot - The Female Playa - The Black Widow of the Web


Jay's Spot - A Tailor made Story, The man behind the column


Food Relations - Easy and Fast Breakfast Sandwiches a child can make!


Art - BBW Sculptures, Beauty to grace your home


Guest Spot -  L. Edwards book, Watch Out for the Big Girls!


Ask Us - Keep those questions coming. Ask us anything, we will answer.


FREE RAFFLE PRIZE - Our Monthly Sponsor makes an item of Plus Sized Clothing Available.  ENTER NOW AND WIN!


Events & Pictures - L.I.C.  Delivers Info. on the hottest BBW events, See what we are doing in the community and special promotions from size positive




Large In Charge Feature

Nikki Carr

Plus Sized Comedian


Plus Sized Comedian Nikki Carr

     It was Labor Weekend when I almost died.  I swore that my stomach was going to burst open or I was going to pee on myself.  That was the effect that Nikki Carr had on me and the rest of the crowd that night.

     I was attending the Big Connections CT ( Labor day weekend with my best friend.  I was going to skip the Comedy show because I was so tired from all the activities.  I am glad I didn't.  I would have missed the show of a lifetime.  There I was literally 5 feet away from a Comedian that I have seen on TV, and she was quite impressive.

     Her style was bold and strong.  She had jokes that made me squirm in my seat and lean back laughing.  I watched the crowd, all into Ms. Carr and waiting for her words which were spoken with self assurance.

     She set the crowd a blaze with laughter when she snatched a wing off her head and began to rumple her short locks.  Nikki Carr kept the audience at her attention and only let them go when she was ready.  Many people rubbed there stomachs from the aching only cause by a funny attack.  After the show I had to compete with the crowd for her attention. Compliments flowed to her like a rushing river of water.   I only have one last comment to make about Nikki Carr, She is Unbelievable.



           Nicki Carr             Nicki Carr              Nicki Carr          Raqui & Nicki Carr       Raqui & Nicki Carr

Click the thumbnails to view full sized

Interview with Nikki Carr   What is your name (Real and Stage)?


Nikki Carr:   My real name is Veronique DeOna Carr.  Veronique is just Veronica in French.  I capitalized the "O" in Deona to give it effect and lo and behold it means "The One" in some language.  Nikki of course comes from the "Nique."  My dad, who was one of the greatest jazz drummers in the history of the trade (Bruno Carr), named me.  He was obviously a pothead.   Where are you originally from, and where is your home state now?


Nikki Carr:   I was born and raised single-handedly by my Mommy in NYC. No sibling, only lil' ole me.  My Grandmother was who I considered my second parent because after about nine years old or so, I never saw my dad again.  He never did live with Mommy and me. Now I live in a predominantly white town in western MA, called Amherst.  It's like living in sleep-away camp.  Very picturesque to say the least.  Lots of farms and animals running around that I never saw anywhere but in a zoo or on the Discovery channel.  Certainly not combing the streets of BX, NY.   Have you always shown an interest in comedy?


Nikki Carr:   I have always been a performer. I spent an awful lot of time by myself as a child.  So my toys were really my first audiences. I would perform for them with a brush as the mic, so you see it was me who invented the cordless mic.  I don't think I did any comedy at that age.  I used to sing more than anything. I could make my voice sound pretty much like any singer that I loved.  My mother actually thought I would be a singer.  But there was this crippling shyness about me that came whenever I was put on the spot. I guess I was always funny. I remember that my mother would always ask me, "Why are you so silly all the time?"  Everybody thought I was cry as a child, because I was.  I learned that making people laugh by doing stupid things like suddenly and for no reason at all, ripping my shirt open as the buttons flew everywhere, was fun.  I also had an incredibly wild imagination and I loved to write.  My aunt NIecey who is only six years older than me used to inspire me to write poems and took me to poetry readings where I could read the poems that I wrote.  My mom knowing that I would definitely be a performer of some sort, fueled my love for the stage by taking me to the Apollo religiously (my dad was also their drummer for a while).  Later she put me in a drama class and that's when we found out that I could really act.  When it came to acting there was nothing shy about me.  It opened up a whole new me.  The applause afterwards was something that would haunt me for the rest of my life until I finally heard it again almost twenty years later.   How old where you when you started your career?


Nikki Carr:   I was eight years younger than I am today.   How long have you been a comedian professionally?


Nikki Carr:   I started telling jokes in 1997 and winning comedy contests -- hell people were even asking for my autograph! But it was 1998 before I actually got paid for my humorous out look on life.   What agency do you work for or who is your manager?


Nikki Carr:   I do not have an exclusive manager or agent.  If you want me.  Call me and I'll come. However, I do believe that not having representation does hinder you from a lot of things.  I've decided that it is time to find representation but I'm not really sure how to go about it. I've established relationships with a great many agencies, comedians, bookers etc., But the easiest way to get me right now is to just email me.   Tell us about the first time you were on stage, Date, location, feelings etc?


Nikki Carr:   My comedic debut came after watching Steve Harvey on BET late one night talking to Tavis Smiley.  He was talking about the differences between a "comic" and a "comedian," basically saying that a comic was a good teller of jokes, stories, etc., not really written by the performer but delivered as if it were their own, and a comedian was like an all- time "at all time" creator of funny.  Like a comedian can find the humor in almost any situation.  A comedian can make you smile through your tears....I knew he was talking to and about me.  I called the NY Comedy Club on 24th street and told them I was interested in trying comedy.  They gave me a date and told me to bring five paying customers.  I was a little nervous until my feet hit that little stage.  Then it was like I became someone else.  I performed like I'd done it everyday for years.  They laughed so hard and loud that it scared me.  When I was done they jumped to their feet with applause.  Steve was right.  I am a comedienne.   Were you always a person of size or were you smaller when you started your career?


Nikki Carr:   I was born a "premie" A month early and less than five pounds.  That must be the only time I was ever small.  My mother was an EXCELLENT cook.  She loved to cook meals from cook books of other countries and cultures.  She made me love food.   Did you find it hard to break into the business since you were a person of size?



Nikki Carr:   That is a double edge question because I was not ever proud of my looks.  It held me back in a lot of ways. I had no self-confidence what so ever.  I hated being heavy because people always teased me about it.  Especially my twin aunt and uncle who were like my brother and sister in a lot of ways.  They loooooved to call me "fat back in a tee shirt", " porky pig", "fatso", All kinds of mean stuff.  I hated my knocked knees, I even hated being dark skinned.  I wanted to be beautiful like my mother, tall, shapely and caramel complexioned.  I think that's why I made a lot of fun of myself as a kid and did funny things so that people would laugh with me instead of at me.  As a youth I played a lot of scripted parts that required a chubby person ,(usually someone's mother), so I was comfortable doing that.  By the time I was ready to go out for comedy being "Big" was almost a prerequisite.  There were a lot of funny "Big Girls [and Guys), on the scene.   Do you feel that your size helps you come up with routines?


Nikki Carr:   Being heavy is part of my set because I know a lot about it.  As soon as I come on to the stage people see my size.  I address it to let them know that I'm comfortable in my skin.  But it doesn't necessarily help me come up with routines.  Living and imagination does that.  Being too anything is funny to the person who lives that life e.g. too skinny, too tall, too short, etc.   How do people of size feel about your routine, do you get more positive or negative feedback?


Nikki Carr:   I'd like to believe that everybody in the room enjoys my performance.  Countless times I meet and greet after the shows the "Big Girls" say y that I represented and they identify a lot with what I say as well as those of "average" size.  I don't think one group or the other enjoys my work any differently than the other.   Please Tell us about the many TV, Show, appearances you have made?


Nikki Carr:   I have done three seasons of  "Comic View". I appeared on ShowTime at the Apollo, where I pretty much BOMBED on National TV.  My mother had died two weeks before and I was still very broken about it.  It was a bad decision to do the show in the first place.  I'm ready for the Apollo now but they haven't called me to do it again.  Maybe they think I suck!!!  They say you're only as good as your last show and people tend to remember the bad ones forever.   Are you currently on tour?


Nikki Carr:   I am not on tour right now. It's hard for me to do tours lately because I have a H. S. senior and an elementary school aged child and no support network to care for them while I'm gone.  I am usually in and out no matter what city I perform at.  Not because I don't want to stay and explore your wonderful town, city, state, country or Island but because gotta go!   Who are some of comedians that you admire?


Nikki Carr:   When I was a kid, Lucille Ball and Jerry Lewis were my all-time favorite people in the world.  They made me laugh so loud and so hard.  This is the kind of stuff I fed my brain with when I was a child.  All the old-time sitcoms from back in the day, Family Affair, The Partridge Family, The Brady Bunch. Sitcoms were all I ever watched!!!  There weren't that many Black shows then and my mother would say "Look how crazy those white people act."  But I didn't see it like that, to me they were funny and great!  The first Black woman I'd ever seen do standup was Marsha Warfield. I loved her instantly!  Then Whoopi Goldberg, exceptional! Now my list of favorites is so vast that I couldn't even name them all but aside from the aforementioned I love Ellen Degneres, Rita Rudner, Paula Poundstone and Boney to name a few.  Though I never really wanted to be a comedian, I've adored it so much all of my life that I am not surprised that I am.   You have helped to pave the road for big women in comedy, who do you believe was paving the road

before you and other current comedians?


Nikki Carr:   Marsha Warfield's set was about being a "Big" woman when I first saw her.  Though I was very young at the time I still remember a lot of it.  I'd never heard of these kinds of jokes told about one's self until then. A far as comedic actresses of size there were so many from Mabel King to Shirley Hemphill to Nell Carter.  All great women in my book!   What would you say to other young ladies and women who are looking into being a comedian?


Nikki Carr:   Ladies, Men, Cats or frogs my advice is always the same." STAY ORIGINAL!!!"  Joke thievery is ugly redundant and pointless.   My jokes are like my children, created inside of me, nurtured to their funniest points by me, delivered from my soul to waiting ears.  Do you think I would let you take one of my children and change their clothes and call them your own?  No!  Be original don't think you are the only person that has ever heard the joke you're interested in reiterating in your own way!  Originality brings respect.   What should up and coming comedians do to get on the right track?


Nikki Carr:   Stay on stage and stay humble as I said before, "you are only as good as your last show," so getting cocky over a good set can set you up for a rude awakening.  Be yourself (unless you're doing and impression) and have fun!!!   Do you have other comedians that you collaborate with?


Nikki Carr:   I love them all, they are the brothers and sisters I never had.  I get along with all of them

Sometimes there are personality clashes but I've learned to deal with everyone on their own level always allowing them to be themselves in my presence.  I have no preferences as to who I work with though I travel very often with "Boney."   Do you have a good support system from family and friends?


Nikki Carr:   Nope!  Though I know there are a lot of people who are proud of me and my accomplishments I can't say that I have a strong support system.  Every once in a while I do what is called "bringer shows" around NY.  The name means just that. You have to bring a certain amount of patrons to the establishment to get stage time.  Usually 5.10 or more people, (I believe Caroline's is 20).  When it's time to do these shows I can't get none of the "let me know when you're doing something in NY" people to come out.  So the club doesn't let you perform in this case if you can't meet quota.  I'm doing one on Thursday 10/21/04 at a club on 2nd Ave in NY called Comic Strip Live.  I need five people to get stage time.  Will you come?  If you do, my support system just got a little stronger.   What do you contribute your success to?


Nikki Carr:   #1 My mother.  Constantly trying to convince me of the beauty that I possessed but never saw, the intelligence that she was always so proud of, and consistently encouraging the talents that I knew I was born with but was too inhibited by shyness and low self esteem to project.   Where will you be appearing next?


Nikki Carr:   October 9-11 I will be at the Mirage in Las Vegas, October 15th The Holiday Inn, in Bridgeport.  October 21st Comic strip Live 1586 2nd Ave. 6pm. reservations required (212) 861-9386.  Other things are pending. I'll hit the message board with updates.   What are your future goals?


Nikki Carr:   I would like to regain the discipline I once had to write.  I've been trying to write a book for years but I'm so busy in my mind most of the time that I don't have the time to work on it.  I would also like to write some screen plays or maybe write for other comedians and shows.  Acting is something else I know that I'm good at so eventually I'm sure I will break into that at some point I'm already getting offers to do little projects and hopefully these little projects are just the seeds to planting a firm foundation in the world of stage and screen.   Give us one word that you can say best represents your performance?


Nikki Carr:   ENTERTAINING!!!!!   How much have you evolved as a performer since that first appearance?


Nikki Carr:   I actually started out pretty strong.  As I said my first performance earned a standing ovation.  I had another agenda when I started.  My first two daughters were kidnapped by their father and taken to Africa when they were four and five years old.  I gave myself a five year goal to make it to television knowing that If they're my kids they watch comedy shows. I was right. They were 18 and 19 when I taped my first season of Comic View.  It was 7 months after I taped that they saw me on television (they ran my set a lot), did a computer search and contacted me through a gentleman whose website I appeared on. So if I never get a movie role or a sitcom or even the entertainment job of my dreams I can still say that I accomplished what I set out to do which was get my girls back into my life.  And I have maintained my position as a strong presence on the circuit and definitely grown both in material content and performance areas.   How can the readers at help support you?


Nikki Carr:   Book me!  Corporate, private, in town, out of town it doesn't matter.  And if you see that I am appearing somewhere get a ticket for Pete's sake! I am nothing without you my fans, friends and family.  Come see me when you're not well or when you don't even feel like going out.  I promise you'll be glad you came!


     Thank you Ms. Carr for keeping it real and setting an example for us Plus Sized people who believe we cant achieve our goals.  Keep making your mark on the Big World!

Wishing you the best





Raqui's Spot

From a Female's Point of View

This month's subject: The Female Playa


Email Raqui:


This Months Subject: The Female Playa

     Brought to you by popular demand. Finally the other side of the coin. The Female Playa, the black widow of the web.  Here comes an in depth interview with a Female Playa that may leave you shocked and thrilled at the same time.  We hope that you enjoy this article.


     NOTE: The Identity of our Female Playa will be kept hidden. But  she is real and very alive and still doing what she does best. Being a Playa!


A Little About Me: 

     Ok first off I am not giving up my name.  Let's call me "Too Much"  Why? Because I  sure am Too Much.  Too Much for you Punks to even think about.  I know you all don't want to believe I am real.  That I am alive and sucking you punks dry.  But I am here, I know you men so damn fuckin well that I know a bunch of you are calling me a bitch and punk right now.  I can almost hear your voice.  Why you hiding your real name and who you are if you such a Playa? you asking.  Because I am not giving up my rent for no interview.  Chances are that the ones who are calling me names are wanna be playas,  or just mad that a female is doing it better than you.  Enough for now, Let's just do this.


Name: Too Much

Age: 35

Race: Mixed

Size: BBW

Location: The Internet - you don't need to know anything else.



Interview with "Too Much" The Female Playa


Raqui:   What made you become a Playa?


Too Much:   I spent most of my life getting played.  From a Teen until 25.  Men used me and I kept going from bad guy to bad guy.  I was 25 and was left at the alter by my Fiancé.  I was left with the expenses of the wedding and he ran off with over 50,000.00 of my money, which was put in a joint checking account.  I never heard from him after that. I  wasn't ever gonna let a man use me or take anything from me.  I would never work while a man sat around taking from me.  I decided I was going to live a life I wanted and never work again.  Men would pay my way from then on.



Raqui:   What is your usual game?


Too Much:   At first I didn't care who I played, I took everyone's money. I said I had kids I didn't have.  Losing my house, cant pay my bills etc.  I said a lot of things to get men to give up the money.  But after a couple of years my story changed.  Now I only take from certain men. Ones who got money.


Raqui:   Do you ever feel bad about playing these men?


Too Much:   There were some men I felt bad about. Which is why I changed my focus to other types.  But mostly I didn't care.  Most of the men were married, had girlfriends, had there own kids.  Almost all of them lied and tried to convince me to be there woman.  So they could visit me and be with me.  They didn't know that I knew they had a wife etc.  So I sure didn't tell them anything when they gave up there money.



Raqui:   You say that the type of men you play have changed, Why?


Too Much:   There were two men who I later felt bad that I took there money.  Men who actually had kids and took care of them.  With all the men giving me money I really didn't need the little they sent me.  So I stopped dealing with them altogether.  I bet they still wondering why.



Raqui:   So are you saying that you have developed a conscience, with who you play?


Too Much:   Yeah I don't take from no kids.  At least not poor ones.  If the man got plenty of cash to spare. I am taking it.  If he poor and I am taking from his kids.  Then I don't need it.



Raqui:   What is the most amount of money you have received at one time?


Too Much:   I have received a house without taxes or anything owed on it.  It is worth about 140 thousand.  I was left about 75,000.00 with that house when one of my boys died.  His wife had a fit but she got the other 2 houses so she couldn't say shit.  He left it to me fair and square and she got the rest of his money anyway.



Raqui:   What is the average amount of money you receive monthly?


Too Much:   On a low month I get about 2,000.00 dollars tax free.   On a high month I get almost 5,000.00  This covers all my expenses.


Raqui:   How long have you been a Playa?


Too Much:   I really started a year after my Fiancé left me so I was about 26 and I am 35 now. So about 9 years.



Raqui:   Tell us about the type of men you go after?


Too Much:   Usually married men, unhappy ones, Men with money,  Men who don't travel to often, Men who travel always trying to include an extra day to come check me?



Raqui:   How do you find these men?


Too Much:   Believe it or not, they find me.  These men come looking for a woman on the side and with me they find one they have to pay to talk to.  For real it is like a job keeping them all in check but I get paid better. I spend my day online talking to these guys while they at work.



Raqui:   Where is the location of the men you play?


Too Much:   Everywhere I have even had international boys sending me cash.



Raqui:   Do you ever meet any of the men your playing?


Too Much:   Once a man supports me for a certain amount of time.  I will meet up with them.  Usually while they are traveling or something.  Never in my house.



Raqui:  Do you ever become physically involved with the men your playing?


Too Much:   I have become involved with a few men on occasion.   Not always sex. Only when I wanted to.



Raqui:   Since you get physically involved with a few of the men you have played, do you think that is prostitution?


Too Much:   HELL NO. They don't give me money for sex.  They give me money cause they dream of having sex with me. They wish they was with me instead of their wives. But I have my game to get out of that, the ones I did become involved with was not sex with all of them.  The ones I did have sex with were only because I was totally attracted to them and wanted to.  Had nothing to do with the amount of money they give me.



Raqui:   Do these men know about each other?


Too Much:   A couple of them know that I am taken care of. But they all think they are top dog and I am just playing someone else.



Raqui:   What makes you different than a Male Playa?


Too Much:   Well I don't take from people who cant afford it.  I don't promise love, I don't even give them a real relationship.  They know the realness of it. I am not fooling them.  No one hating me.



Raqui:   Why do you feel your a better playa than a man?


Too Much:   Because none of the men I play complain.  They all love me and are happy they had the chance to know me.  In fact most of the time they are happy to give me money and wouldn't have it any other way.  Besides I deserve it.




                 Thank you "Too Much" for letting us into your world.  I appreciate the interview.




Jay's Spot

From a Male point of view.

This months Subject : A Tailor Made Story


Jay's Winter Creations - Velvet Red -  Skully Style for ladies.

A Tailor Made Story - The man behind the Column

     As a child I watched my family hammer at the sewing machines.  I grew up in a sewing family.  There was always loud machines running,  fabrics, patterns, manikins, needles and pins everywhere. As a kid, I never paid any real attention to it as anything special, that's  just how it was!

     One day, as an adult, I was sitting at my vendors table with a sewing partner (Shout Out to "Biggupp Fashions by Camilla"), and a man walked up to check out the goods.  The items on the table was typical to me, just a  few children pieces (skirts, jackets, pants suits),  a few adult shirts with matching hats, a couple of bags, jackets, scarf sets and little ribbons, bows.....things that was normal pieces I'd been making since I could remember.  The guy stood at the table asking questions about the prices and the styles and the sizes.  He commented how unique the fabric selection was, which was right on point because to me that was my special flavor.  I always took my time to pick quality fabric. He first asked us, "are you sure you'll made this with your hands or is some of this stuff you bought from a store"? I said...yeah we made it!  and while looking in amazement he said..."you know what? you are truly blessed".

     At first I was like ...okay...thanks a lot...that cool...because honestly I had heard that many times before.  Not that it shrugged it off but I really had heard that so many times.  But then he looked at us squinting his eyes and said it again with authority in his  " yo!  if yau'll physically made this stuff with your hands..."You are truly Blessed".  And for some reason it really changed my reality of how another person saw the blood, sweat, tears, and sacrifices that it took to make those items.  One person might look at a typical jacket as just a jacket...but the person who grinds at the sewing machine actually has to work every stitch to perfection.  I appreciated that moment and for the first time accepted to be thankful for my sewing skills.  What it also did was make me look back and think hard about my past and future as a Tailor / Designer.

     It really kicked off when I was about 11.  My brother who is 3 years older then me had his hang out crew and they attend Fashion & Design High School in Manhattan (NYC). Making clothes was there thing and they were good at it.  I was that little brother shadow trying to hang with the big brother.  So besides the family sewing skill, big brother and his crew gave me the inspiration to pick up the needle and thread.  One summer we learned about a Singer Sewing class held at the Empire State Building and our parents allowed us to attend.  It was the first time that I had a chance to actually take sewing lessons...and my first experience of being in a professional class with my brother. 

     Throughout the years I always had a thing about shopping, dressing nice, and hunting for unique clothing.  I somewhat went through those teenage years where life introduces you to many other things.  I was always active in something and being that I enjoy learning and watching "skills", I sorta got lost in the life of sewing.  I had to actually look back one day and say "hey I was good at that when I was younger".   

     Adulthood brought about children.  With children came the need to save money by making clothing.  The handmade clothing brought back the creativity that I had lost.  The creativity brought about the family and friends that gave me the confidence to focus on learning the business of Fashion.  Then came the customers who gave me the experiences (good and bad) as to learning how to master my craft and figure out exactly what I need to do in order to be successful.  Through all the ups and downs I hung in there no matter what.  The best lessons I've learned is that "when you know your going right, don't let nobody take you left"! From there I struggled  to take as many classes, street lessons from local tailors /seamstress and family members so that I can eliminate some of the hard task that it takes to produce quality products.  "Quality" is the key.

     Next issue is professionalism.  I always had that "Tailor Made" dream to have a nice store where I can display my goods and show off my wears.  Or continue to do good fashion shows, get my name out there in local retail stores.  Maybe even work for a big fashion company and design.  Bottom line, the reality of running a business is reality hard!  When your in business and your line is in stores you, physically have to love to follow through with a lot of titles.  Lastly, when your working for a big company the companies name is important or the main designer....the tailor or the person who physically puts the work together is rarely mentions.  Example: the majority of designers, don't do the sewing, they design.  The majority people who promote that they wear such and such clothing never even once hear about who the tailor is.  Beyonce Knowles announces every time that her mother makes her clothes. Rapper Busta Rhymes always announced that Rasheed Booth was his tailor.  People give alot of props to Betsy Ross, probably because she told her husband....look...if I sit down and sew every star on this flag...I better go down in history! Rosa Parks was known for her struggle in the civil rights yet I also admire her for being remembered as a professional seamstress.  

     I save this months issue to let it be known that "I am a Tailor". I sat back one day after being influenced by my sister who is one year younger than me.  I was so glad for her that she opened a clothing store.  She advised me  to get every detail together and do what I had to do!  I took out the time to take a semester in college to stay focused to my plan.  When I was done I knew exactly what I wanted....The Internet!  I was always a little active so I knew a little something.  Not from the technical side but more as a surfer. I watched all the fashion companies come online line and just get busy!  I then decided that I would one day have a company let customers know the who and why's behind the products.  I have seen many online companies but the majority is about selling the item and that's that!  My special flavor would be that home based, one on one relationship, that lets it be known that a person is getting the best...

    The market?  As you know by now, I always had a thing about Big Girls....since I was little.  The one thing about me was that I was definitely not ashamed, early I got picked on all the time.  I ain't care!  By the time the BBW Events rolled about in New York City...I was on the scene.  I always made women and men clothing.  Big people just always paid more for their clothing, because of size but I found they also didn't mind paying for quality and fit.  Men and especially women always had a problem with clothing that didn't fit their proportions.  By tailoring the clothing I gave the right size, the best fabrics, just overall learning how to cater to the needs of People of Size.  Then came the right items.  I make T Shirts and people brought them because the characters were cool and so on.  But when I experimented with big men jackets, boxers, all sizes (up to 10x), top quality was literally approaching me aggressively....jumping out of cabs. just tracking me down.  Meaning some things I have made was typical but things like women lingerie...let's just say that I have done enough in the past the I can get down for mines on the sewing machine.

     At first I figured, if I got a thing about Big Women...and I basically make a little bit of everything (from children's clothes, to bed spreads, doll clothes, socks, bags...anything with fabric...I try to tackle it), I have to pick what I would focus on.  Then it hit me that I might as well go with the market that I enjoyed being around.  Why not start there?  I had been around merchandise and the Big World long enough to make it happen.  I basically knew the clothing problems that People of Size go through with sizes,  corny out dated styles, corn ball fabrics and prints, receiving items in the mail that didn't look like the picture on the site, items that took so long to get to your house....why not start in the Big World!  Plus I enjoy reading about the artist who draw Big Women.  I watched how the Big World popped on the internet and the local artist who drew big women were getting really popular getting names here and there.  I felt these are men, with good skills that deserve to have people support and buy their stuff...making names for themselves.  and ...imagine how many big lady fans they must have....and make a living...I'm feeling that!  One day I sat back and decided this was for me.  I have heard of men and women who did plus size fashion shows at the clubs, websites....but in the Big World I  never heard of not one guys name who stood a "Tailor".   That's where I decided that I would use my skills and take it!  If there was an "FA Tailor" trophy, I was gonna let it be known who I was and take it...period!   Problem...I was planning to come like a hungry wild sewing animal tornado hurricane competitive businessman...any man who had a sewing machine...and my trophies...I was coming for blood just like those local fashion tournaments that I was used to in the underground New York City fashion scene.  Where I'm from, when it comes to sewing in a is not a game!  Luckily I met Raqui. 

     In my opinion, Raq is the greatest Web mistress in the Big World of all time!  I bumped into her on a humble.  I'm from the Bronx and she is from the Bronx and.....She knew the technical of the computer and as an SSBBW model she always dreamed to learn as much as possible about fashion (as well as taking advantage of a tailor on call!).  I needed to put to use all the things I had learned in school about building a website and get my line going.  When we ironed out a plan, it turned out that I needed to take a personal reality check on my plan to just push my clothing on "People of Size".  Not that I have any disrespect but my plan was to sell clothes, just because I had skills, just because I knew that the other companies weren't giving it right, just because....I love Big Girls...and all the Big Guys I know straight up pay more than all the other guys I know.  Then again, I am a man...and luckily I met a Big Woman who said....but what makes you different from all the other fake companies who are forcing their fake clothes and products on people of size...whether run by a big person or not?  What makes you different from the guys who think that big girls are easy and just because you have clothing and you be surrounded by the ladies....what makes you different from the "Lobby Stalkers" in the Big World? and...being that you respect People of Size as real people who deserve respect. where is the proof? Pumping out items doesn't show real respect to a customer...only that you have good products?  I knew how to promote on the street.  She knew how to promote on the web. The reason I admire her is because being she is a woman and also an SSBBW she taught me that it was important to give people an open ear to talk to them first.  Have a patient plan to let people know you are even if it takes months of struggling.  Keep an open line of communication as long as it takes, not only to give respect, but to learn from them, let them learn who you are.  Give people positive things to read.  Being everybody seems so separated, be the united site where we are not pushing how we are better than that site or the club.  Give other people a voice. Give informative information.  Take time to figure out how to give good prices. Don't support the events that people outrageous prices just because they are big. Interview the local artist, the TV shows, the other designers, the dj's, the comedians, the entertainers....Let the local writers get a voice.  Talk about health issues. Learn how to answer "all" the people on your message boards, thank "all" the people who signed your guest book, hit up all the other sites guest book and let them know how you feel and who you are.  Promote but visiting all the egroups and give them feedback.  Give people raffle prize raffle prizes.  Meet "all" the party promoters ...from NYC to Miami from Cali to Europe.  Then give them voice on the site. The get up off your butt, get dressed and struggle to physically meet and support each one of them.  Then get to the club and sit down with ("literally") each customer in the club at ("Literally") every table in the club, smile at each person and ask them how they like their clothing, what is their favorite color, what are their internet clothing problems, how can I be of assistance to them if I had a line of clothing online.  Make items that big people "need"! Go to the printers to make the flyers and pamphlets to hand out to the people so that you can email them the day after you meet them at the club and give free giveaways announced by the dj during the club.  Participate at the events and enter "all" the contest at "every club"...and smile!...even when your having a bad day. Look good. Smell nice. Hand make gifts for all the party promoters (custom...go shopping ...and purchase it)...even the crab promoters who dissed us and tried to act real funky that night...while Raq smiled (and was nice about it when she could have told me to get real gully on you...and you know who you is!)  and the days where its important for just me and Raq to create clothing drives where teenage homeless youth have to sleep 6 in a little room ( and that's for the ones with kids)...and go to the Big Girl Lesbian Flea Market...early in the morning with a smile while on the same day I had to go to the BBW beauty pageant...answer the phones, spend the money for car fare, lunch for the guest, online radio show interviews, guest appearances on the local TV show.......all before you even let them know you sew.  After the hard work it takes to technically build a website, gather all the info, type every letter, space, code, fix the printer, buy new ink, paper, call the server, put out a website once a month...consistently....while remember where we come from "The Bronx" and must protect ourselves and watch our back at all times.....just to let people know that you are real!   Struggle to respect them...then be real...and let them know your product is the bomb!

     Raq was right.  By the first month, all the party promoters were calling and respecting us as if we were like Siskel and Ebert.  Back then the little bit of hits were a lot to me ( I still have it on my first "wow").  By the second month, the hits were coming in strong.  People treated us like we were a major magazine or like "The Source Mag" of The Big World.  I learned how hard it is to run a good site. ....but never once said who "Jay" was.  Bottom line, I personally thank all the readers, fans, our members, questions, message board responders, all the Big World Families in all the Clubs, the TV shows, the radio shows, the egroups, the chatrooms, the comp passes, the red carpet treatment in the clubs, the models, and the peeps who write in to be a part of our Fam...Good Lookin!

Now that I have taken time to get to know you.... when I send you an email alert....PLEASE check out our store!  and help support.  Thanks

My Name Is "THA MADD HATTA"...Mann Hatt'n

 (First .....Scullie Hats / Matching Scarfs ) *All sizes, colors, prints, & fabrics*

Drop me a line, tell me what you like & need!




Food Relations

What does food represent to us?


     Welcome to Food Relations.  The subject of food and people is an ever present concern.  What you eat, when you eat, how you eat, why you eat.  We all have to eat at some time or another.  Most of the time we eat for nutrition.  But food also makes us feel good.  The taste, texture, feeling, smell of food.  Some use food for release, or as a weapon for control.  Here in this section of our newsletter we hope to talk about the many aspects of food and get feedback from our readers of what food means to them.  Also how they view food.  So now sit back and read what this months food subject is about. 

The Large in Charge Staff


Easy Good Food FAST!

Another recipe


     Requested by popular demand.  I am giving another recipe this month.  I hope you like it.

Easy to make breakfast Sandwich

     Many of us love those Breakfast Sandwiches that we get from many of the fast food places.  But really they are not very good for us health wise.  Try this super easy fast breakfast sandwich recipe.  So easy that my child was making them at age 7 without help.


Ingredients - You will need the following.

  • Bread - You can use a bagel, English Muffin, Croissant, or your favorite bread toasted.

  • Cheese - Any kind you like sliced

  • Meat - Sliced cold cut meat of your choice, you can also use a microwaveable breakfast Sausage

  • Eggs - One egg per breakfast sandwich.

Preparation - Put it together takes about 2 minutes. 

  • Toast your bread of choice if you so choose.  You may add a little margarine to the bread if you wish.

  • Get a bowl and crack and egg into it. Use a fork and poke the yoke of the egg.

  • Once your bread is ready add the cold cut meat to your bread. (Note if you used a breakfast Sausage you must heat it for about 30 seconds to one minute on a plate,  before adding to the bread.

  • Put your egg to cook for one minute. (NOTE: you might hear the egg pop in microwave.)

  • Once egg is done scoop it out with a spoon and put it in the bread along with meat.

  • Add a slice of cheese on top and your done.


What is great about these sandwiches is that kids can make them easy and they are much more healthier than buying them.  You can season your egg if you want to before cooking.  Plus all the food items are 100 percent fresh.  No added oils and grease. You can wrap these sandwiches in aluminum fold and heat in a microwave at work if you so choose to take them with you.

Hope you enjoy this recipe






Large In Charge Guest Spot

We want to hear and see your talents!


One of our favorite parts of the newsletter.  The Guest Spot is for our readers to submit there talents to be viewed.  We want to see all you wonderful supporters making moves of your own.  If you write poetry, short stories, commentaries, or just thoughts in general, please submit them to us.  If your a designer we want to see pictures of your clothing.   We would love to include your talents in our newsletter.  We hope you take an active part in the L.I.C. newsletter.

NOTE: The Opinion of the writer is not always the opinion of The Large in Charge Staff.  We support the Right to all views.  We do not Condemn or Approve writing based on our personal thoughts.  We approve writing based on if the subject is a concern for the BBW / SSBBW / BHM Community.  Thank you for your writing and please send in those articles!  - The Large in Charge Staff



L. Edwards Author of

Watch Out for the Big Girls!


About our Guest Writer
Name: Latoya Edwards
Age: 28
Ethnicity: African American
Location: New Jersey
Goals: Start a financial consulting companies geared 
toward helping minorities save money.
Hobbies: Dancing, Reading, and Shopping 


Excerpt from Watch Out for the Big Girls               


In the Closet Chubby Chaser


There's always one in the crowd, an In the Closet Chubby Chaser.
He watches as you enter the room.
He pretends to be staring at your skinny friend but he is actually looking at you, Big Girl.
He licks his lips while he stares at your thick legs, plump bottom and round face.
He wants to talk to you, yet he will not.
He is afraid of what his friends will think of him.
What does he do?

There's always one in the crowd, an In the Closet Chubby Chaser.
He watches you on the dance floor, shakin' what ya mama gave ya!
He wants to grind you from behind. He wants to 'tap that ass!'
He'll watch all you night, yet he won't come over. Why?

There's always one in the crowd, an In the Closet Chubby Chaser.
He fantasizes about making love to you.
He wants to suck your big breasts and feel your love handles.
He wants to grab your big ass while you ride him, yet it will never happen 'cause he's too damn scared!

Why you are so afraid, closet man! It's dark and lonely in there.
Don't let society dictate your actions.

You see all that woman, her full lips and hefty hips.
She could be all yours if you muster up enough courage to say one word…Hello.

It's your loss.


You can Order Watch Out for the Big Girls By Visiting -





Large in Charge Art

Beautiful images of BBW's / SSBBW's /BHM's

Send in your art work to be displayed and get featured in our Newsletter

Email Raqui:




Our October Artist is

Dari Walker



     I happened across this site and I have to say I have fallen in love with these Sculptures.  I am going to order one in the near future. Take a little time and visit and send some love out to Dari Walker.


     These Sculptures show bbw's in such a beautiful light. They can grace your home and give a positive outlook on size and the beauty of the true female form.






Large In Charge - Ask Us

Ask Raqui and Jay the questions you always wanted to.

Get the female and male point of view.


Ask Raqui and Jay your questions                                                                             


Dear Raqui Dear Jay

Q:   I want to say thanks for making such a great site.  I have a question.  I am a BBW not Super Sized but bigger than the average BBW.  I haven't dated much because I have problems with sitting down in public.  I don't always fit in the seats.  It is embarrassing.  Do you have an suggestions for me, on what I can do to about my problem?

Big Butt Problems

A:   Girl, I have only one thing to say. KNOW YOUR AREA.  When a man wants to take me out to eat, movies, etc.  I know my area, He travels to me and we go where I am most comfortable.  I also take notice of restaurant chains.  Example: Applebee's have large booths and the tables are not nailed down so you can move them for your comfort.  The tables are high so they will not be pressing on your stomach.  When your shopping in any area.  Walk into restaurants and dinners, when you head to any location where sitting down is necessary or preferred, check the seating, take a note of the location. Take a survey of all areas you encounter,  You never know when you will be traveling or meeting someone in other locations.  Ask managers or employees in restaurants if you can call in and reserve a table.  If  you cant reserve then look at the place really well, know what table and seats you want to sit in so you can ask for it as soon as you arrive at a future date.  Also make sure you talk to your date. If he wants to date you, he has to make sure your comfortable.  He should be looking out for your comfort also.


Q:   Raqui, you are a beautiful woman.  You seem down to earth.  I meet many BBW's who act like (Pardon the language) they act like there shit don't stink.  It really turns me off.  Why are they acting this way?


Looking for a Down to Earth BBW

A:  Well Sir, I have to say, it is not just BBW's who act this way.  Many women of many sizes, regardless of race and location act like that.  What you take as Attitude might be very well deserved in some aspects.  You need to ask yourself.  How did I approach this lady and for what reason?  What type of atmosphere were we in?  She might have taken what you said to mean something else.  She might be protecting herself from the guys who are not very nice and use women. You said it turns you off when women act that why,  Maybe that is exactly what she wanted to do.   I had a man get an attitude with me and told me I was stuck up because I didn't agree to go to his house for a little FUN after a party.   Either way, Attitude comes in all shapes, sized and colors.  Just find someone else to talk to.  P.S. -  there sure are a lot of men who act the same way.



Q:   A friend of mine has an aunt who is really super sized about 900lbs.  She meets men online and never tells them her true size, she tells them she is 300 plus. She's technically not lying, but she's not honest.  When they ask for a picture of her, she sends head shots.  My question is why do some SSBBW's hide the fact that they are the sizes they are?



A:  Hi Wondering,  It all has to do with confidence and self acceptance.  This woman cant deal with her weight and figures no one else can either so she lies.  she is ashamed and that is why she hides.  She probably doesn't think any men will talk to her if she tells them the truth.  You don't have to be 900 lbs to feel that way.  Many women who are BBW's do the same.  It is hard to believe that others will accept you for who you are and what you look like.  When you cant do so yourself.


Q:   As a BBW, do you think that men think, that you are easily taken advantage of? If yes, why?


A:   Noey, I have to say, that you got to go by the man. Some men will and some wont.  Men who seriously love BBW's and SSBBW's usually wont become users.  But you have to think about the old stigma.  If you want to get something from someone target them.  BBW's and SSBBW's have become the target for many user's and abuser's.  WHY?  Because most of us are very insecure because we haven't had proper support systems. We think something is wrong with us.  Our brains work just like any woman who is told over and over again that we are not good enough.  The difference is that the whole world is saying FAT IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH!  In that aspect we have become targets for the men who want someone with low self esteem and can be controlled. 


Q:   When will society starting taking us as human beings and stop looking at us as some kind of experiment? Always want to cut this and try this out.

Southern Diva

A:   As long as society keeps teaching that Fat is bad.  There will be someone who is studying and experimenting on how to make us slimmer. Fat is considered unwanted and unfavorable, because of this hey will continue to create ways to get rid of it, and tell us "YOU NEED THIS".  The worst part is many of us will continue to allow them to play with our bodies, Cut us up and see what's happens.  All in the name of being thin.  We wont know the real results and damage until it is to late.


Q:   I'm a SSBBW woman and when I meet a man who's not of size the first thing he asks me is about sex.  Let me quote them "Oh u look like u can give me good sex, I haven't had it in a while, but I'm not looking to be in a relationship I just need good sex right now"  Why do men feel they can disrespect big women like that? 


A:   Here is another example of the old stigma.  Big women must be desperate and needy.  So we will accept any attention given us because we have no choice.  Many big women will go along with it sometimes because they want to have sex.  Sometimes because they don't want to be alone.  Sometimes they feel they wont get any attention else where.  Men feel they can talk to us in any fashion and with out tact because we are lucky anyone is talking to us at all.  This is how many men think.  Many men target us weather they like big women or not.  Just because they don't have to break down a broken woman.  Time to prove these jerks wrong!

Q:   I want to say thanks for making such a great site.  I have a question.  I am a BBW not Super Sized but bigger than the average BBW.  I haven't dated much because I have problems with sitting down in public.  I don't always fit in the seats.  It is embarrassing.  Do you have an suggestions for me, on what I can do to about my problem?

Big Butt Problems

A:   First of all, thanks for being a fan of our site. For real thanks too! I appreciate it. The seating issue is common. I've heard and experienced this a lot with people of size in general. This is called "Size Friendly" establishments. Businesses should cater to large size people too, but the reality is that it's not always like that. I can tell you that I was hanging out with a friend of mine and we were going to a restaurant. It was a place where she had been to before. Because she is an ssbbw, when we walked in we got the typical staring that people usually do. We were both used to it so it was no big deal. But I was impressed because when the waitress said follow me, my friend said come on..."Let's go to my table". She had already cased the spot in advance. She knew exactly where the best seating was for her size. Since I have been active with LIC I have learned that a lot of women and men of size actually case out everything for their comfort ability. I really didn't know how hard it is to find the right size car seats, seating in salons, barbershop chairs, hospital gowns, extra flight of stairs....One thing I did learn, especially from hanging around Raqui, you can go to the places you would like to have dates at and demand, ask, and investigate. Tell them, hey, you need bigger seats in here! Internet friends in your area might help too! Ask others where the good spots are.


Q:   Hi I need a male point of view.  I am a SSBBW and at my job there is a guy who is very nice to me.  Sometimes he brings me a couple of candies.  I don't want to jump to conclusions.  But can you tell me a few signs that I guy might give if he likes you like a woman and not just a friend?  He might be a shy guy but then he might just be a nice guy. Help me out.


Need a Hint

You asked me from a guys point of view so I'll tell you how I feel (but I can't say speak for all guys on this one!).  Most women who have the little comment to "wow I like those shoes", or "it's raining hard today", or "you so crazy"...they mean just that...little stuff! Most men, who are attracted to big women (considering you are his type of woman), if he say's even little stuff

like "so what you looking at", or "excuse me miss you have the time",  or even that look away look when you see eye to eye (but you know he was looking at you).....9 times out of 10, he's wishing he could get with you! Most fa's who like SSBBW's are known to be shy (sometimes).

If you really want to know, make the first move. Ask him to go out for something to eat or a movie...give him a nice card! The way I see it, if your with him away from work, and it's just the two of you alone, before you part...just ask him straight out if he's attracted to you! One on one time will break the ice....if he makes no moves from'll find out just how shy he is!



Q:  A friend of mine has an aunt who is really super sized about 900lbs.  She meets men online and never tells them her true size, she tells them she is 300 plus. She's technically not lying, but she's not honest.  When they ask for a picture of her, she sends just head shot pics.  My question is why do some ssbbw hide the fact that they are the sizes they are?



A:   Why do some SSBBW's hide the fact that they are the sizes they really are? I asked this woman how old she was but she lied and told me a younger age. I asked another woman about her hair and she really was a weave. I asked this other lady about her breast and she was lying because she really had a padded bra. I listened to how rough it is to be single and she really had a husband at home. and when I looked into her hazel brown eyes for her truth, she really had black eyes and contact lenses. So why do "some 900lb SSBBW's" hide the fact...people in general just do that! Maybe one day she'll just target the guys who love 900lb women and be proud....and anyway...why exactly are "you" wondering about your friends aunt problems? What's your problem?


Q:   As a man who dates BBW or SSBBW women. Do you think that some men believe that big women are easy to take advantage of? If yes, why?


A: Yes, I think some men think that women in general are easy to take advantage of.  Big or small. I think that some women think that some men are easy to take advantage of.  I think that size doesn't make a difference.  People are people.  Some have respect some don't.  


Q:   When will society starting taking us as human being and stop looking at us as some kind of experiment? Always want to cut this and try this out.

Southern Diva

A:   I don' know! I do know one thing I have learned since we started LIC. If you check our message board, the number one topic is the size issues of when big people go to the doctor to be cut. I'm am an fa but I am not big. I never knew how much I didn't know about what big people go through with the advice and situations that hospitals put them through. On the real, check out our board....the responses we've gotten on this issue is interesting.

Q:   I'm a SSBBW woman and when I meet a man who's not of size the first thing he asks me is  about sex.  Let me quote them "Oh u look like u can give me good sex, I haven't had it in a while, but I'm not looking to be in a relationship I just need good sex right now"  Why do men feel they can disrespect big women like that? 


A:   Are there any guys who approach SSBBW's with respect? of course! But being I hear this a lot I wonder about the real statistics. Like what's the count. If we asked 100 big women to tell us about the next 10 men who approached them...can they give factual evidence. I personally don't disrespect women like that so I can only imagine from what I hear. A lot of SSBBW friends say this all the time. I figure (first impressions) if 10 men disrespect but 90 men said kind things then maybe the odds are that 10% of the men are jerks. But if most women are saying that 99 guys disrespects them then maybe there is a really big problem in The Big World. And then again, are SSBBW's saying that its just them because I hear skinny women say this too! I mean are SSBBW's saying that they get 10 times more disrespect then other women or what? In reality, not even one man should disrespect a lady ...hopefully LargeInCharge and sites that discuss these issues are helping to make changes!

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