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Issue #12 - February 2005

Welcome to the Large In Charge Newsletter


In this Issue of L.I.C

Advertising -  Check out the Big Sized Companies who want to advertise and cater to you! Clothing, Party Promoters, Websites and more!


LargeInCharge Flea Market - Online area where you can sell and purchase clothing, shoe's, etc. at low prices.  Bring all your used, new, non fitting, tired of them, items here to sell. While the rest of you come over and buy!


Featured Person - Plus Intimates - Catering to Plus Sized ladies in sizes up to 14XL

Raqui's Spot - Settling for Less in Love

Jay's Spot - SSBBW Massage Tips for FA's

Food Relations - Great Slow Cooker recipes from MS. SEXXY

Guest Spot - Representations of Fat by Rebecca M. Fernandez

Ask Us - Keep those questions coming. Ask us anything, we will answer.


Events & Pictures - L.I.C.  Delivers Info. on the hottest BBW events, See what we are doing in the community and special promotions from size positive companies.


Large In Charge Featured Person


When I saw Plus Intimates   

     Checking the Big Connections Party adventure on Labor Day, I bumped into Michael (one of the founders of Plus Intimates).  I looked over the merchandise.  I watched the Fashion show.  I liked the items shown, but how were they made?  When I got a closer look I noticed that the items were made quite well. Much better than a lot of the Intimate apparel that is provided to large people.

     What I liked the most is that Michael seems to truly believe in what he is doing.  True we all are trying to make money.  But he wants to build something more.  Build something he believes in.  Women at any size feeling sexy and beautiful about themselves.  Providing women with the needed items for daily wear and also intimate times.

    Plus Intimates has been a growing company for many years. They deserve some recognition and need to be given the props for working so hard to give us of a larger stature what we deserve.



Click Thumbnails to view pictures, Click Banner to visit Plus Intimates


Plus Intimates @ Big Connections CT


Plus Intimates Lingerie Show @ Big Connections CT


Interview with Plus Intimates    Who is the founder of your company?

Plus Intimates: Plus Intimates was founded in 1999 by Michael Uhde and Chet Smith.    Where are you from?

Plus Intimates: I was born and raised in Newark and still live in Newark today.    Where is your company base location?

Plus Intimates: Plus Intimates is based in Maplewood, New Jersey about 10 minutes outside of Newark. We operate a 17,000 square foot Distribution Center, Training and Conference Facility, Corporate Offices and our own Design & Manufacturing Facility right here!    How did your pick your company name?

Plus Intimates: Plus Intimates best expresses the essence of what we do and who we are. We manufacture and design plus size intimates.    How did your company begin?

Plus Intimates: Actually, my co founder's wife had a genuine love of lingerie. One day while they were discussing the various offerings of Victorias Secret she made the observation that they stopped at a size 10. Upon searching for another company that offered sizes that were more reflective of the true American woman they found none. We did some market research, conducted focus groups and surveyed women from around the Country and Plus Intimates was born!    How long have you been in business?

Plus Intimates: We've been blessed with a growing business for the past 6 years.    Who are the staff members and what are their job assignments?

Plus Intimates: We're a small, family oriented type of organization. Most of our folks have been with us from the start. Our success is largely due to the combination of all of their wonderful talents. Michael Uhde serves as the President and Chief Operating Officer, Tamika Sanford is Director of our Home Party Division, Satin N Lace, J.R. Namon is our Chief Designer, Kelvin Mboya is Director of Customer Service, Leon Morton is our Technology Officer, Melissa Wright is our Accountant.    What made you decide to start your company?

Plus Intimates: Clearly, the majority of American women are a size 10 or greater. Yet, this is perhaps the most under represented group in fashion and in the media. We founded Plus Intimates with one simple, fundamental objective: to celebrate, serve and glorify the plus size, or rather "real size" woman!     Do you make your own merchandise?

Plus Intimates: Yes, we design and manufacture most of our selections right here in our own studio and factory right here in New Jersey and at a facility in Massachusetts. We also sell other select companies plus size offerings as well.    What is the hardest thing about buying for and selling to people of Size?

Plus Intimates: In the beginning it was difficult finding fashionable offerings in plus sizes. Once we started to design and manufacture ourselves however that obstacle was overcome. We still find challenges in supplying certain fashion niches but one by one we are conquering each category.     How do you pick quality products for people of size?

Plus Intimates: We always test and inspect products before we offer them for sale. We also take our customer's feedback very seriously.

   We look at several criteria. First, the item's construction must be of the highest quality and with able to withstand the rigors of daily use so as to provide years of enjoyment to our customers.  Secondly, the item and designs must be fashionable, fun and exciting. After all, our business is all about fun. Finally, the item must be a great value. We want our customers to get more than their money's worth!     Most BBW companies find it hard to get the merchandise they want, do you have the same problems?

Plus Intimates: We used to, absolutely. That's why over the past 6 years we've continued to invest so heavily in our own design and production facilities.    What is the biggest size that you stock?

Plus Intimates:  Some of our items go up to 14X and our bras go up to 56K. Our new factory in New Jersey was created exclusively for the production of larger plus sizes. You'll see our Collection of Designs under our Satin N Lace label really take off this year with fresh, exciting new designs in sizes up to 10X. I'm especially excited about our new China Doll Collection of Lingerie!     How do people purchase your products?

Plus Intimates:  On line of course at Plus You can also shop our color catalogue which comes out twice a year. We always welcome folks to visit our Factory Outlet Store in New Jersey. Perhaps most fun of all is purchasing our items in your own home with a group of your friends through our Home Party sister company Satin N Lace    What do you like the most about your company?

Plus Intimates:  First and foremost I must really say that I love our customers. I so look forward to my trips around the Country all year meeting them in person at the different BBW Events. That's definitely my favorite part.  Next, I'd have to say that I still get excited every time we introduce a new line or a new style. I'm genuinely proud of our Fashions.   What are your long term goals for you company?

Plus Intimates:  I'd like to see us continue to grow and innovate within the community and the industry. I'd like Plus Intimates to be first to mind when someone thinks Plus Size Lingerie.   What is the response you receive from the BBW / BHM community?

Plus Intimates:  All of us at Plus Intimates have truly been blessed with a tremendous out pouring of support from the BBW and BHM Communities.   How can the readers at help support your company?

Plus Intimates:  We greatly and sincerely appreciate all of our customer's support and patronage. Additionally, word of mouth referrals are invaluable. We love it when folks recommend us to their friends. 

We also have an affiliate program which offers real rewards to folks that put a link to Plus Intimates on any web page that they might have. Finally...we'd love for your readers to try having a Home Party! They'll have a blast...I guarantee it!   Do you have any other companies or entrepreneurs that you admire or collaborate with?

Plus Intimates:  Well, I should start off by saying that I found your story Raqui to be very uplifting and inspirational. I have nothing but respect and awe for what you've built and accomplished.  I have been fortunate enough to meet many, many Plus Size Entrepreneurs who have achieved Super Size Success stories. Peggy Howell from Chunk E Business is a wonderful example. Naeema Houston from Philadelphia is a BBW that founded Transformique Cosmetics, an astounding company.  Cher Rue & Lisa Marie from Los Angeles founded Club Bounce & The Big Girl's Show are also pioneers that deserve our respect. Truthfully the list goes on and on too.   Who are some of your business or influences that you admire?

Plus Intimates: I have a few favorites, Dave Thomas, the founder of Wendy's is one. I had a plaque made which hangs over my desk in my office that bears Dave Thomas' regular question that he would ask all of his associates and himself, " What are you doing for sales" I think Dave displayed a passion for hard work, constant improvement and compassion for people.  I'd have to also say that I've been inspired and influenced by other entrepreneurs such as John H. Johnson founder of Ebony Magazine, Mary Kay Ash, Founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics, who built a billion dollar empire based entirely on personal relationships.  Additionally, Ted Turner, Dave Longaberger and a list of others are among those I admire. All of these folks continued on in the face of challenges and adversity that at some point seemed impossible and hopeless. Their success helps you to get up just one more time and continue forward after you think you've surely stumbled for the last time.   Give one sentence that best describes your company?

Plus Intimates: Plus Intimates is the essence of fun, excitement, personal service and opportunity in plus size fashions and intimate apparel.



Raqui's Spot

From a Female's Point of View

This month's subject:

Settling for Less in Love

Email Raqui:

Why Settle?

     It's winter time and many of us are craving to snuggle, or are snuggling up to less than what we deserve.  That goes for men and women, but this month I am leaning on the women's side.  I have been hearing the same stories over and over.   Hearing similar complaints,  what is even worse hearing the disappointed voices, and hurt hearts of women. Not just women of size but many women regardless of size.

      True us Large women are going through our own version of racism, and degrading treatment.  But many women of all sizes are being treated like crap everyday.  Beautiful, intelligent, sexy, kind, strong, young, old women and everything inbetween.  And many of us are just settling for less than what we desire, and deserve in a man.

     The old thinking of holding on to a man because you might not find another.  The same ingrained lessons we have of winning the fight, against another women, means we got a prize.   All these thought swirling around in our heads telling us to hold on to something, or someone who we really are not completely happy with.  Who treats us in ways we don't appreciate, nor want,  and why?  Because we have been taught to settle,  that we cant have everything we want,  we cant have everything we need,  we should be happy we got a man!  But what kind of man do we got?  We are sitting around judging our life worth by a single issue, If we got a man or not. 

No, none of the other worthwhile, fulfilling things we do, what we represent, what we stand up for,  how we handle our lives matter.  Because we always get asked a single question, WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A MAN!  Do we need men to make our lives?  Do we have to have a man in our lives to be happy and fulfilled?  Is a man necessary to make and break our lives?

     So we meet someone and find things out over time.  Yes this man has been involved with multiple women, many two, three or more. Yes this man has maybe wined, dined you, bought you gifts.  Which he also did for two, three, or more women. He has been kind, almost perfect in some ways,  he really is a catch you thought.  Yes this man now says your his first choice, and the others meant nothing.  He was just using them for certain reasons, you know we really werent committed he might say,  but I wasn't ready for a relationship yet or he might say you werent.  So in the meantime he was using them but no not you, he really loves you, YEAH RIGHT! So all these women fight for a man who has totally disregarded them, treated them all like objects,  has taken advantage of the situation, had sex with some or maybe all of them, and now the women are fighting,  and the one who so called wins him in the end feels proud.  PROUD OF WHAT, WHAT KIND OF PRIZE DO YOU GOT!  Do you really want to spend you life with someone who can use women and degrade you and treat you like another piece of ASS!  Who can pull excuses out of his mouth so easy they MUST ME TRUE! WOW WHAT A PRIZE!  You really got yourself a winner there girl.  Next time ask him to please bring you a disease while he is at it, just to remind you that you have to hit the GYN office.

     Then we got the men who tell you they want you so much and your important,  but there words are obviously cheap because there actions are not showing it at all.  YES, I have always dreamed about having a man who hardly pays attention to me, and calls me at his convenience.  Who's only regard is himself, and not me, my feelings, my schedule and more important my NEEDS.  I have never wanted anything more, than to be some man's doormat so he can wipe his dirty feet on.  WHO ARE WE KIDDING?  Can you really be happy and fulfilled with that.  With any of the so called half assed relationships us women are going through?

     So you make excuses, but he really is a nice person,  he treats me nice,  you have no idea how we feel when we are together, he takes care of me.  You try to make sense of it all,  he has had a hard life,  he was abused, he was unlucky in love, he has mental issues, he cant find a job, he is just stressed out, he needs someone who understands.   You try to see it through his eyes.  You do anything and everything to be a sensitive understanding woman, in hopes of keeping this man.  Mean while you are doing the number ONE NO NO!  Not being sensitive and understand to yourself, and not demanding that he is also.  Any man who really loves you will not allow himself to hurt your in any way.

     We often just fall into the same relationships over and over making excuses for these men and keeping hopes for a future. Being afraid of being alone, thinking with out a man in your life you are nothing.  I have one thing to say about that,  Men are toppings to life, they are not the life.  You are your life.


Example:  Create a Sundae of life.

  • The Ice Cream -  You have to decide what kind of ice cream you are.  What type you want to become.  you might add kindness, and understanding to your bowl,  probably some strength and firmness. Maybe you might want to represent something,  You might want to volunteer and help others. You might want to be a good family member,  a good mother, a good friend, a person who writes, reads, takes a class, learns something new,  who does all the things you want to do. Things you dream of doing.

  • The Fudge - You cover your ice cream with fudge, caramel or fruits because you want to add sweetness to your life,  Fun, friends, parties, get together's, movies, bar hopping, family dinners,  poetry readings, book clubs, concerts,  support groups,  Anything you find fun exciting and good for you. 

  • Sprinkles and Nuts - Sprinkle yourself with pretty items, experiment with your own style, learn to make things if necessary,  decorate yourself.  Hit the hair salon, get a manicure and pedicure.  If you cant afford it have a manicure pedicure party with the girls.  Do it for each other. Make yourself feel pretty and good!  Feel this way for yourself not someone else.  Act nutty sometimes.  Be funny and laugh, do something womanly and silly. 

  • Whipped Cream - Let your whipped cream flow,  get out there, be light and sweet, be fluffy.  Do things, see things, study things, dream of more things to do. Let yourself imagine, let your brain wander, think good thoughts,  be positive, Feel the wind in your hair.   You are topping yourself, you are becoming better, you are feeling better, you have built yourself into who you want to be.

  • The Cherry - Then there is that cherry, (THE MAN) in reality you have this giant sundae of life, you don't need the cherry,  you really don't.  YOU WANT THE CHERRY, there is a difference.  But after you have built up this great, amazing sundae that is you, don't let a rotten cherry sit on the sundae of your life and ruin it.  You want the right one.  Yet everyday we are settling for a rotten cherry, sometimes rotten to the core pits and all.

     But I don't have a sundae of life, MY LIFE SUCKS your screaming at me.  Do you actually think a cherry (Man)  rotten or not is going to come along and set you right?  You have to set yourself right.  No one can do it for you.  After your happy with your life a man can be placed in it.  And you might meet a man on the way to self exploration.  But never let him stop you from becoming a satisfied person on the inside.  When that cherry gets eaten and you realize it is rotten and spit it out, All you have left is your Sundae of Life.  If you haven't built it what do you have? Men shouldn't be your life,  they are the topping to your life.

     So how do you figure men out when your ready?  I read this great book recommend on Oprah, a show I rarely watch but happened to see this one night.  This book is no holes barred, out right and real in your face.  Telling you if the man your with is into you or not.   EVERY WOMAN MUST READ THIS BOOK.  If your reading my article and not ready right now to go to a book store or Amazon. com your nuts.  This book validated so many things in my head and just came out and told the true.  If your man isn't acting right, isn't treating you as you deserve, chances are "he's just not into you"  This book is the NO EXCUSES TRUTH TO UNDERSTANDING GUYS, written by a man who was all of the above, a no good guy until he met the one woman who is now his wife.  This book is a must read and really will be a life changing event.

    But what if I don't like to read and don't want the book?  Well all I can say is create the sundae that is you.  Don't allow anyone to pile on there excuses as to why they cant give you everything you need and desire?  If women continue to settle for less, men will keep giving less.  If every woman today stood up for themselves and didn't accept less than they deserve.  Men would have no choice but to rise up to the challenge.  The fact that we are lowering our standards makes it acceptable and easy for a man to wallow. Make that stand!  Any man who really is into you, will do anything in his power to see to it that your happy.  That is how men work,  They want to be the chaser, provider, lover, protector, the rock you lean upon.   They like challenge,  It makes them feel manly and satisfied.  It makes them whole.  So if your man isn't doing what he needs to do to make you happy.  He is just not that into you, you need to find someone who is, you deserve someone who is.





Jay's Spot

From a Male point of view.

This months Subject : BBW Events

Mr. RubDown


     He knocked on the door. She asked who it was and he said “I came to massage the Big Ladies”. When she opened the door the ladies bussed out laughing. Three Super Sized Women were awaiting a good massage and in comes this little skinny… short short man with a carrying bag. They thought he was a joke!

     By the end of the night he had given them all orgasms by merely massaging them. They claimed he did all the right things. He was professional about it. He had good techniques.

     So I’m sitting in a room with three SSBBW’s who are talking about this amazing little guy that is known to be one of the best. I started asking questions and was told that a lot of guys think they are good but are not. They claimed that the ratio is 3 out of 10 guys are good… the other 7 think they have skills but actually suck! My next question was what are the major problems and I was told that some men don’t care enough to even give a woman a massage, some don’t understand that all women aren’t supposed to receive the same massage, some men rush most of the time, Size does matter, and some men basically just don’t know what to do.

     This made me wonder if I was as good as I thought I was being that I always grabbed the nearest lotions available, did some rubbing, pushing, pulling, a little poking here and there and thought it was all good. I wonder if all the guys that brag about their skills were being lied to, how many guys out there don’t have a clue and how many SSBBW’s out there want their men to learn how to massage them correctly. And is there a difference in massaging a smaller woman and a SSBBW? I decided to contact a specialist, to do some homework, and write this one for the SSBBWFA guys!

Interview with Mr. RubDown

Jay: Us FA’s need some help man! Tell us about yourself and give us the 411.

Mr. RubDown: They call me Mr. RubDown. 1st thanks for the interview and the interest in what I do. As far as my history goes, I am from NJ, 35yrs old. I have been a certified massage therapist for 7yrs now. As far as the tips for massage, would you like tips from a therapists prospective or more of a romantic/couples type massage tips?

Jay: I never knew there was a difference. We would like to know a little about a therapist massage but mostly the romantic massage tips. First tell us more about your history with SSBBW’s?

Mr. RubDown: I have been massaging SSBBW’s for over 10yrs now.

Jay: Do you consider yourself an FA?

Mr. RubDown: Yes

Jay: When did you first realize you were attracted Big Women?

Mr. RubDown: At a very young age. Even my puppy loves were chunky.

Jay: What influenced you to become a masseuse?

Mr. RubDown: I was always told I was very good with my hands and good at massage also so when the opportunity presented itself I decided to take the class.

Jay: What advice can you give about finding a good professional masseuse? What should a SSBBW be looking for?

Mr. RubDown: Well I would say when you contact a therapist be upfront and just ask if he or she has experience massaging larger clients. If not, maybe they know someone they could refer you to.

Jay: What was the longest massage you ever gave?

Mr. RubDown: About 2hrs and one time a group of women had a pampering party and I gave each of them a massage so that was about 5 or 5hrs total, nonstop.

Jay: SSBW's sometimes have major problems with their joints and body aches. How can massage therapy help them?

Mr. RubDown: Massage can help by assisting your blood to circulate thoroughly and relaxes tight muscles. I also recommend stretching and some type of exercise.

Jay: Where can FA’s find literature on how to massage Big Women?

Mr. RubDown: To My knowledge no such publication exists. Hmmmm… maybe I'll write a book

Jay: Do you suggest swim therapy for SSBBW's?

Mr. RubDown: Absolutely! It's low impact and works every muscle.

Jay: Can massage therapy help a SSBBW lose weight?

Mr. RubDown: Massage therapy can be a definite factor in your weight loss regimen along with a change in eating habits and exercise. Its also helps the blood circulate better and is good for relaxing muscles after exercise.

Jay: How many FA’s do you think give unacceptable massages or just don't know what they're doing (1-10)?

Mr. RubDown: That’s hard for me to give a definite number but I will say that most men just don't know what they are doing or lack a sense of touch which is needed to give a good massage

Jay: If a FA is giving an erotic massage, should he start at the top of a SSBBW or the bottom (at her feet)?

Mr. RubDown: Hmmm.... I would say start at the top and work your way down....slowwwwly.

Jay: Is it suggested that a FA give a woman a bubble bath before a massage?

Mr. RubDown: A bath is fine or shower. Whatever is best for you.

Jay: Are you ever available in the New York City area?

Mr. RubDown: I am about 1hr south of NYC so I normally stay within 30 miles But If someone really needs me to travel, we can work something out.

Jay: What can the readers of Large In Charge do you help support your business?

Mr. RubDown: Well if any of your readers are in the NYC/NJ/Philadelphia area and would like a professional massage, feel free to contact me.

SSBBW Questions for Mr. RubDown

Case #1
SSBBW (550lbs-600lbs)

Q: I am a Big and Tall Woman. Guys think that just because I’m big that they are supposed to grip me really hard and I don’t like that. I don’t like it really soft either and one seems to do it right! Do you have any advice about the amount of pressure that a FA should use on a SSBBW?

Mr.RubDown: I would suggest somewhere in the middle...Sounds like you need medium to firm pressure (not hard and not soft). Communicate that to the person massaging you and he shouldn’t have a problem adjusting.

Q: If you were massaging a smaller woman vs a SSBBW how do you personally adjust the pressure?
Mr. RubDown: With any new client, small or large, I begin the same way. First I ask what type of pressure they prefer. Then I start off with a light touch and slowly add pressure. I ask my client to let me know when I have reached their desired pressure.

Q: Being I am close to 600lbs, I am afraid of getting on a table. The masseuse’s weight plus mine makes me think the table is going to fall.
What should I do?

Mr. RubDown: Honesty and trust are important for this. First let your therapist know exactly how much you weigh and if he or she says their table can handle it, trust them...It can handle it. Massage tables are a lot stronger than they look. The Specifications for my table says it can hold up to 550lbs. The heaviest person I've had on it was about 500lbs and it held up with no difficulty. The bed or the floor are also alternatives.

Q: What are the different techniques that you suggest are best for a SSBBW?

Mr. RubDown: Techniques can vary from person to person. Generally I would say the best technique for a SSBBW is Swedish Relaxation.

Q: What are the best oils or lotions to use?

Mr. RubDown: I have tried a lot of different oils and lotions and in my opinion the best oils and lotions are those found at massage supply stores and websites. They are light, non-greasy, water dispersible and 100% natural.

Q: What type of wraps, robes, or towels should be used on a SSBBW and where do I find them?

Mr. RubDown: I have found that oversized bath towels or beach towels work best for me. They are not awkward and easy to drape and move around.

Case #2
SSBBW, short, 450lbs-500lbs

Q: Some FA’s think that a good sensual massage is quick and they want to get straight to having sex. Please list a few basic steps that a guy can do to make a massage last a little longer?

Mr. RubDown: Tell him to go slower and the more of your body he massages the better. Most FA’s think a good massage is just a shoulder rub so let him know and hopefully he will make it last longer.

Q: Name a few erotic massage tips?

Mr. RubDown: Light candles, romantic music, warm oils and have fun. Be creative and tell your partner to massage whatever turns you on.

Q: Have you ever gave a SSBBW an orgasm by massaging?

Mr. RubDown: Some women become aroused to the point of orgasm from massage because they are not used to their bodies being touched in that way or it just feels good to them ...Its natural.

Q: Do you work alone or do you have a selection of guys?

Mr. RubDown: At the moment, No, I am solo.

Q: Do you have a website and how can we get in touch with your company?

Mr. RubDown: Going to do a website soon but for now you can email or call.

Case #3

SSBBW 250-300lbs

Q: I know of SSBBWFA who is small. He uses his body along with his hands, gave foot massages...and has a good reputation for his skills.
What makes you different from the rest?

Mr. RubDown: You don't have to be a small to use your body. I'm 6'4 260lbs and I sometimes use my body along with my hands when I massage.

Q: Is acupressure a part of a regular massage?

Mr. RubDown: I incorporate it sometimes with my massage depending if the client wants it done or not.

Q: What’s the difference between Shiatsu, Swedish, and Deep Tissue?

Mr. RubDown: Shiatsu is Japanese for "finger pressure" and is the most known form of acupressure. Shiatsu uses rhythmic pressure from 3 to 10 seconds on specific points along the body's meridians by using the fingers, hands, elbows, knees, and sometimes feet to relax the body, and to maintain general health. Swedish massage is now known as "traditional" massage. Swedish massage includes long gliding strokes, kneading, friction, tapping, and shaking motions. It is effective for most ailments, because massaging the skin, the body's largest organ, sets up a chain reaction that produces a positive effect on all layers and systems of the body. Deep Tissue Massage is designed to reach the deep portions of thick muscles, specifically the individual muscle fibers.
Using deep muscle compression and friction along the grain of the muscle, its purpose is to unstick the fibers of the muscles and release both toxins and deeply held patterns of tension.

Q: What was your (Top 3) most unusual massage request from a SSBBW?

Mr. RubDown: To be honest, to this date I haven’t had any strange requests. But I am a very open minded person so there isn't much I would consider strange.

Q: How important is atmosphere, music, food, fresh smells, and setting the mood? Does it really make a difference in a massage session?

Mr. RubDown: Absolutely. The proper atmosphere is key for you and your therapist. Once I massaged a woman in her living room in the middle of the day...her kids were playing and running around and it was very hard for me to focus on the massage.

Jay’s Top 10 SSBBW Massage Tips

1) Atmosphere: Make sure the place is romantic and clean
2) Comfort: Provide Size Friendly furniture and what ever else needed to make a SSBBW feel

3) Full Body Massage: Massage all body parts
4) Relaxation: Begin your massage with the intent to first relax her first
5) Positions: Research different positions, stretches, and change up every so often
6) Pressure: Size does matter! Ask your partner to communicate with you.
7) Time: Don’t rush! Take your time or set time limits
8) Sexual Stimulation: Research Clitoral Stimulation and G-Spot Stimulation
9) Oils: Preplan which oils to use. (Example: Foot lotions are not for back massages)
10) Undivided Attention: Stay focused Man! Once you start the massage, continue until the finish

Interesting Links:




Food Relations

What does food represent to us?


     Welcome to Food Relations.  The subject of food and people is an ever present concern.  What you eat, when you eat, how you eat, why you eat.  We all have to eat at some time or another.  Most of the time we eat for nutrition.  But food also makes us feel good.  The taste, texture, feeling, smell of food.  Some use food for release, or as a weapon for control.  Here in this section of our newsletter we hope to talk about the many aspects of food and get feedback from our readers of what food means to them.  Also how they view food.  So now sit back and read what this months food subject is about. 

The Large in Charge Staff


Slow Cooker Recipe

Submitted by MS. SEXXY


     Hello all,  Here's a recipe for that, I think you will love.  If anyone out there has a 9 to 5 job, and thinks they don't have time to cook,  here's a way you can cook. Get yourself a slow cooker it does all the work for you.

     I will tell you what kind to get because there's a few different kinds and sizes you can get, depending on how you want to use it.  I have two sites listed,  so you can see the many different slow cookers, they come in all shapes and sizes. Depending on what your looking for and what you want to cook in. I have a 3qt, 4qt, 5qt and 6qt. Slow Cookers do come bigger, in oval and round.  Some have timers on them and some don't so it really depends on what u like and how much u want to pay for one.

     One more thing I think you should have is a rice cooker. Now a rice cooker is very good, I have 2 the 3 cup size and the 10 cup.  It's not just a rice cooker you  can also steam in it so it's like 2 pot's in one unit. Rice cooker's come in different sizes also.  You judge the size you need depending on how large your family. It is pretty easy to figure out what is right for you.

     I hope this helps to get you cooking.  I listed the sites where you can find the products that i have told you about at the end of the page.

Here's the recipes:

Chicken Supreme
1 cup chicken (whole or cut up)
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1/2 pgk dry onion soup mix
1/2 can water
1 cup sour cream
1 T. flour
Mushroom (opt.)
Put chicken in crock pot (slow cooker). Mix soup, soup mix and water together. Pour over chicken. Turn crockpot on high and cook for 1 hour, then turn to low and cook all day. 30 minutes before serving. remove chicken. mix sour cream and flour together and add to the gravy. Serve over rice or potatoes. Add extra mushrooms, if desired.

Green Bean Casserole
1pkg. frozen French -style green beans
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 1/2 cup milk
1 pkg. frozen onions rings
Slivered almonds (opt)
Steam beans, Put in crock pot (slow cooker). add soup, mix onion rings and slivered almonds. Cook on low 8 hours.

Ok I hope yall will love these recipes that I gave you. If you want you can add some plain rice with the Chicken and Green Bean recipes.

Links to buy a Slow Cooker:

Hamilton Beach

Links to buy a Rice Cooker:

Walmart 10 Cup

Walmart 10 cup Stainless Steel

Kmart Rice Cookers

Sears Rice Cooker




Large In Charge Guest Spot

We want to hear and see your talents!


One of our favorite parts of the newsletter.  The Guest Spot is for our readers to submit there talents to be viewed.  We want to see all you wonderful supporters making moves of your own.  If you write poetry, short stories, commentaries, or just thoughts in general, please submit them to us.  If your a designer we want to see pictures of your clothing.   We would love to include your talents in our newsletter.  We hope you take an active part in the L.I.C. newsletter.

NOTE: The Opinion of the writer is not always the opinion of The Large in Charge Staff.  We support the Right to all views.  We do not Condemn or Approve writing based on our personal thoughts.  We approve writing based on if the subject is a concern for the BBW / SSBBW / BHM Community.  Thank you for your writing and please send in those articles!  - The Large in Charge Staff



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Large In Charge - Ask Us

Ask Raqui and Jay the questions you always wanted to.

Get the female and male point of view.


Ask Raqui and Jay your questions                                                                             


Dear Raqui

Dear Jay

Q:   Hey, I wanted to ask about dating.  I don't want to seem materialist, but I rather have a guy who has a car.  I am a big woman who doesn't like the train or bus.  How do I tell a guy this with out seeming in it for money.

Lizzie NYC

A:   I hear you on the car issue, because big people need to be comfortable.  The easiest way not to seem like a Gold Digger is to give him the reason why.  You might feel like your embarrassed, but you shouldn't be.  Any man who wants to date a Big Woman should know her needs.  Straight up ask a guy if he doesn't have a car, is he going to be willing to pay that cab ride to where you have to go. If he is really into he will do what he has to do. Look up some local places in your area that will make it more affordable.


Q:   I have a question, since the BBW party places seem full of people trying to hook up. Where should I go to meet some cool people and maybe a man.

Trying to Meet

A: The best way to have real fun is make yourself a few good friends. BBW or not. Go out and enjoy everything that is Big World related and not.  The best way to maybe meet a man is going out having fun and doing your thing.  Go to places in general as well and in the Big World Community.  The more your seen the better your chances.  I agree BBW parties are not for finding a mate.


Q:   Raqui, Where do you find your clothes at.  I am a tall BBW also looking for some things.


A:  A lot of the Lines now carry tall.  They are just not tall enough for me I'm 6'4  if your as tall as I am you have to measure your inseam.  Different people have different inseams.  Lane Bryant has a lot of talls now, they just don't come in bigger sizes.  Which I think is nuts.  I order some of my pants from a men's Magazine called King Size.


Q:   What do you feel has progressed for people of size, from 10 years ago.

Progressive Thoughts

A:   Well I believe school has become a bit better in some aspects as far as bigger teens.  I see many accepted and usually very popular.  They have better clothing for BBW's and Big Men, though they are still leaving out the SSBBW and SSBHM's.  There a more clothing lines that cater to the younger people.  The internet is a big thing for Big People you can find clothing, shop, associate and find others like yourself.  Size activism is on the rise and people are feeling better about being big.  We still have a long way to go but we are getting there.






Q:   Hey, I wanted to ask about dating.  I don't want to seem materialist, but I rather have a guy who has a car.  I am a big woman who doesn't like the train or bus.  How do I tell a guy this with out seeming in it for money.

Lizzie NYC

A:   Lizzie NYC,  How do you tell a guy without seeming like you're not in it for the money? You never said money your in it for the car! Just because a person has a car doesn't mean they have money. Maybe you should look for guys in the parking lot, or at car dealerships, or taxi drivers, or the highway when they're being pulled over, or at the DMV, or the race track even! You claimed you asked this question in reference to dating, so what are you looking for a good guy to date or a guy who has a car (regardless of who he is)?

       Either way, if this is what works for you, then you are not materialistic for feeling this way. The materialism comes in to play if you personally don't have a car and expect guys to date you!


Q:   I have a question, since the BBW party places seem full of people trying to hook up. Where should I go to meet some cool people and maybe a man.

Trying to Meet

A:   Lena, I don't know if you're asking where you should go to meet cool people and maybe a man. Or which BBW party you should go to? If you're a Big Woman and your looking for cool friends then there are a lot of resources, events, and organizations to choose from.

Check the net for the happenings in your area and you'll probably meet nice friends. I can say that the BBW parties might seem like it s the place where people try to hook up but I don't think its all about that. Meaning that people are simply going out to the club to have a good time. If you meet a guy, that cool, but its not guaranteed just because you're at a BBW club. My advice for you is to visit several BBW events and travel if you need to.


Q:  Jay, how do you feel when you hear about the mistreatment of Big Women in the world. 



A:   Spike, I try not to feel just do my part with this magazine and treat Big Ladies with respect. Action is enough for me so I put the feelings aside. Its not a good thing that people sometimes don't respect Big Women. I was watching Star Search where three triplets (ladies) were told that they were good performers but was too fat to be on the show. Its ironic that the judges were sitting in front of a giant Ruben Stutter picture and told them that. It showed that it really wasn't because they are fat (Ruben is Fat), it was because they are Fat Women.

Also I am a strong believer that women in general are mistreated in the world. The best thing that you can do is treat them kind, act respectful, and have enough courage to step up to the plate when its time to take action.


Q:  What do you feel has progressed for people of size, from 10 years ago.

Progressive Thoughts

A:  Progressive Thoughts, Ten years ago was 1995. If I have to compare then to now I would have to say the net changed things for the better, bigger than any thing else. People of Size have a chance to communicate, shop, travel, find events, organizations, dates, and find acceptance. The biggest progress is the web.

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