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Issue #17 - July 2005

Welcome to the Large In Charge Newsletter


In this Issue of L.I.C.


LargeInCharge Flea Market - NEW ITEMS!  Online area where you can sell and purchase clothing, shoe's, etc. at low prices.  Bring all your used, items here to sell.


Annual Community Drive - LargeInCharge helps the Community. Can you Donate?


Featured Person - Wendy Shanker - Author of "The Fat Girls Guide to Life"


Raqui's Spot - Getting Active for Summer and Keeping Dry and Cool


Jay's Spot - Top International Plus Sized Sites


Guest Spot - An Internet Playa Apologies! or does he?


Product of the Month -  Products for People of Size


Plus Sized Writing Contest - Win a $125.00 Gift Certificate to


Events & Pictures - L.I.C. Delivers Info. on the hottest BBW events, See what we are doing in the community.


Big World Links-  Check out the Big Sized Companies who want to cater to you! Clothing, Party Promoters, Websites and more!

Feature of the Month

Monthly Feature

Wendy Shanker

Author of

"The Fat Girls Guide to Life"

Wendy Shaker at Macy's in New York

Wendy appeared when Macy's Launched there new

Plus Sized clothing Line called "Her". 

Wendy Shanker


     Inspiring is a word that would encompass Wendy Shanker.  Author of one of the Best Books out there for the plus sized woman.  Praises seem to follow Ms. Shaker no matter where she goes.  The fact that this is her first book only shows how talented she is.  Just finishing her recent Six City Tour she is busy between all the magazine Interviews and TV Show appearances.


    Being the National Spokesperson for Now's "Love your Body Day" must be an huge task.  As well as being the resident humor columnist at Grace magazine. Where her words are in print for millions of plus-size women to read and feel encouraged by.  She is also a comedian who has performed in New York and L.A. packing the house every time and receiving rave reviews.


     The Fact is Wendy Shanker is totally Large and In Charge.  She is completely in control and using her talent.  She showcases herself as the amazing woman she is. Yet I find her to be friendly, sweet and defiantly someone I would love to hang out with.  She is a big jolly fat girl at heart.  Taking the word FAT and owning it and loving it.


A few words about Wendy Shanker:

"A woman to watch: fierce, funny, media-savvy."—Ms. Magazine
"A bubbly diva."—Harper's Bazaar

"Sharply witty, screamingly sassy, achingly humorous."—Citysearch New York

"A brave, funny, empowering, funny, necessary (and did I mention funny?) book. THE FAT GIRL'S GUIDE TO LIFE is chicken soup for the big girl's soul." Jennifer Weiner, author, Good In Bed

"Funny, feminist, fat, friendly, and fierce. It's food, it's fulfilling." Eve Ensler, author of The Vagina Monologues 

Interview with Wendy Shanker What is your name (Real and or Stage)?


Wendy Shanker:  Wendy Shanker Where are you originally from, and where is your home state now?


Wendy Shanker:  I’m originally  from the suburbs of Detroit, Michigan, and now I live in New York City. Have you always shown an interest in writing?


Wendy Shanker:  I always loved to write but I never imagined doing it for a living! How old where you when you began to write and what did you write?


Wendy Shanker:  I started writing for public consumption in college at The University of Michigan.    I wrote movie reviews, op-eds, short stories, comedy sketches, screenplays…all different genres.  But it was mostly for fun – just something I loved to do.  Now I look back at those screenplays and think, “Uch!  This is terrible!  Thank goodness I keep improving!” Tell us about your book?


Wendy Shanker:  My book is called “The Fat Girl’s Guide to Life,” and  it’s  a funny take on women and body image.  It’s part  memoir, part research, part style tips, and a whole lot of attitude. Is this your first published book, what work of yours has been published in the past?


Wendy Shanker:  This is my first published book, but I have written extensively for magazines and television over the last ten years. Which publishing company published your book?


Wendy Shanker:  Bloomsbury USA has North American rights.  It’s also being published in other countries, including Germany, Spain, Italy, and Japan.  Yep, there are fat girls in Japan! Tell us about the first time you saw your published book, how did you feel?


Wendy Shanker:  I couldn’t believe it.  I just felt so honored by the whole thing…I just looked at that little lady on the bright orange cover and thought, “Wow!  I hope at least my mom will buy a copy!” Are you a person of size, what size are you?


Wendy Shanker:  Hell yes, I’m “of size”…but I prefer the word fat!  I’m about a 20 right now, sometimes a 22 on top.  Big boobs, what can I say. How does the public react to a person of size writing a book for others of size?


Wendy Shanker:  The reaction to the book has been shockingly positive.  Reviews, media interviews, regular people on the street were very supportive of the subject matter and the way I wrote about it.  I think people in this country, especially women, are really fed up with dieting, and talking about dieting, and looking at pictures of women who diet…it’s become a weird, useless obsession for people of all sizes. Do you feel that your size helps you come up with stories?


Wendy Shanker:  My size certainly informs my take on life…it affects almost every aspect of my life.  I’m really grateful that the plus-size community is so encouraging of writers like me. How do people of size feel about your books, do you get more positive or negative feedback?


Wendy Shanker:  As with the public at large, people of size – or fat people, as I’d say – have been so receptive.  I receive fantastic emails from readers that say things along the lines of, “I always thought I was the only one who felt this way about myself…but now I know it’s not just me, and I’m not crazy!” Tell us what inspired you to write about The Large people of Society?


Wendy Shanker:  Well, I am one.  And I felt like there were a lot of wonderful, encouraging books out there with good intentions, but none that really replicated my experience.  I didn’t want to be all goody-goody, or say that my life was perfectly dreamy…I wanted to explore some of the complexities of being a fat girl.  Good days, bad days.  But no more days of, “I hate myself.  I’m ugly. I’m disgusting.”  I stopped thinking of fat as a personality issue, and reconnected with it as a physical issue.  And I wanted to make sure that I wrote with humor, and really backed up my opinions with research and information. Please Tell us about the many appearances, tours, book signings you have done?


Wendy Shanker:  I’ve been really lucky to tour all around the country with “The Fat Girl’s Guide.”  My publisher, Bloomsbury, set up appearances in New York, Chicago (at Vive La Femme, you must go to to check it out), and Detroit.  And then I was lucky enough to get involved with Macy’s, and travel to Atlanta, San Francisco, and many other destinations hosting fashion shows and signing books.  I’m a big fan of Macy’s HER fashions! Are you currently on tour?


Wendy Shanker:  I just finished touring…but hopefully will be able to do some public speaking and make other appearances. Who are some of Authors that you admire?


Wendy Shanker:  I’m a big reader…I would say that when it comes to books I think would especially appeal to women of size, I say read anything by Jennifer Weiner.  Wendy McClure’s new book “I’m Not The New Me” is really funny and refreshing.  I loved Betsy Lerner’s “Food & Loathing,” Marilyn Wann’s “Fat?So!” and Michele Weston’s “Learning Curves.”  And of course, you have to read biographies from Camryn Manheim and Mo’Nique. What would you say to other aspiring authors?


Wendy Shanker:  Go on, girl, write write write!  There’s plenty of room for all different voices out there. What should they do to get there work out there?


Wendy Shanker:  Well, you have to keep your expectations in check…a lot of beginning writers think, “Oh, I’ll just write this article for Vanity Fair, and that’s that!”  I would encourage people to check out smaller publications and websites.  And don’t expect a lot of money, especially right off the bat.  You have to write because you love it and you feel the need to say something…not because you want to get rich. Do you have other authors that you collaborate with?


Wendy Shanker:  Not usually, but I have been in some great classes and some really interesting workshops where I get provocative feedback from other writers. Do you have a good support system from family and friends?


Wendy Shanker:  Yes – and I’m endlessly grateful for it.  I’m sure it’s not so easy for my family to have me running around, screaming about how fat I am and how that’s cool with me.  But they’ve been so supportive and so open-minded…especially my parents.  And my friends are stunning – they bought the book, they came to readings, my friend Deb threw book signing parties for me.  My friend (and mentor) Sue hosted a fantastic party after a reading.  A lot of my friends are very creative, and they continue to inspire me. What do you contribute your success to?


Wendy Shanker:  The support that I spoke of above means so much.  But I also think part of the book’s success is that it really hit a chord at the right time.  Also, I tried to be as honest as I could.  The issues that really made me feel vulnerable when I put them into print (like, “I  can’t believe I wrote that!”) are what readers responded to the most. Where will you be appearing next?


Wendy Shanker:  Um, I’ll be appearing in my underwear in front of my air conditioning unit in NYC!  Kidding!  I’m doing a few local things in New York, and I’m crossing my fingers that I’ll be able to work with Macy’s more in the fall.  Also, I’d love to give a big shout-out to, a great site that has been so generous to me. What are your future goals?


Wendy Shanker:  I definitely need to write another book…I’m working on it now.  If I can continue to do even the littlest bit to make women feel proud and strong, especially when it comes to their bodies, then I will be very satisfied. Give us one word that you can say best represents your work?


Wendy Shanker:  Only one word?  Damn, you’re tough.  How about “empowering”? How can the readers at help support you?


Wendy Shanker:  Gee, if anyone wants to buy the book, that would be fabu!  It’s available online and in stores, and you can go to to find links or get on my mailing list.  But to tell you the truth, the name of your site says it all.  We have to be large and in charge, psyched to walk about in our bodies, fearless about our needs and desires.  Any woman who does that makes me one big fat proud girl.



Wendy I have to say your are truly inspirational,  I cant wait for your next book!  I have to say you are defiantly a true example of what being Large and In Charge is.  We wish you many more years of success. 

P.S. Let's Do Lunch! BIG GIRL STYLE!

Hope you enjoyed Our Feature this month please send comments to:  Raqui:


Raqui's Spot

Raqui's Spot

From a Female's Point of View

This month's subject:

Getting Active for Summer and Keeping Dry and Cool

Email Raqui:


Getting Active for Summer and Keeping Dry and Cool

I HATE SUMMER" I have heard this over and over again.  Big Women just hating summer.  Yes it is hot and uncomfortable at times, but summer is one of the best seasons for fun in the sun.  We have to appreciate summer a little bit.  It comes down to Big Women and Men not being very comfortable doing some of the great things there are to do in the summer.  It is a shame thing, not wanting to be seen in public in your bathing suit. Sometimes people dont want to be seen in public period.  People we are going to have to get over this.  It is really time that we start to enjoy ourselves and not care if the guy on the blue blanket is looking at us funny, or if the little skinny mini's are around in there bikini's. 


     I have watched big people for years and find that as soon as someone with a cute little body walks by they all of a sudden have shame on there face and look down or start to look depressed.  Why cant the skinny mini's walk around with there cute little bodies and we walk around with our cute big bodies.  What is wrong with that?  I have sat many times on the beach with all my skinny relatives and associates around me.  The only big body in the group, and have a great time.  The reason why I am having a great time is because I am not comparing my body to anyone else's, and I love myself.  I am not going to let anyone get in my way of enjoying life and living it.  Why should I be ashamed?  Because I am bigger than some people?  Please, get used to it because Big People are coming in droves.  I have had men stare at me and watch me, some were admiring some weren't.  What got me laughing was when I got looks from men with there skinny girlfriends and comments that I was very pretty.  Learn to appreciate all the people around you and let them appreciate you.  Don't be stuck at home when the pool and beach is waiting.  I am going to give you wall flowers some tips to help you get out.  You just have to remember that you have the right to live and enjoy life.  No ones comments, looks or anything else should stop you. 

  1. Get a nice bathing suit -  you always feel better when your wearing something you like. If you want to wear shorts with it go ahead, you can pull the shorts legs up to tan your legs.

  2. Find out all the Pools and Beaches in your area. Best days to go are Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.  The beach is always cleaner on those days and the crowds are smaller.

  3. Get a group together,  Always better when you have others to laugh and joke with.

  4. Get good swim shoes - never go barefoot protect your feet.

  5. Sunscreen is a must all the time at both the pool and beach.

Great Links for finding beach stuff for Big People

  •   - I bought a size 6 bathing suit 3 years ago and it has been great in pool & beach water.  As most of you know I am a Really Big Woman so if I can find a suit here so can you.

  • - Great bathing suit's and cover ups, pay attention to the sizes on each page.

  • -  Accessories for pool and beach, Swim Shoes and Sandals, Back packs etc.

  • 468 x 60 Lane Bryant Catalog - Static 2 - Bathing suit's up to size 30/32, cover ups, shorts, and summer wear.

  • 468 x 60 King Size Direct Banner - Great for Men's summer wear and beach wear up to 10XL.  Ladies you can find comfy shorts and shirts here also.



Keeping Cool and Dry when your out and about


     It can be hard to stay cool and dry when you have extra weight and rolls keeping in the moisture and heat.  But yes there are ways to be a bit more comfortable. If your in your home, or out and about having fun, you can use the following tips to help you out.

  • Find a fine soft powder to apply to your body after your bath. Powders that clump are not good and very uncomfortable.  When looking for a powder put some in your hand.  You should NOT be able to roll the powder between your fingers and feel a grainy texture.  It should be soft and almost seems as though it is spread like a lotion.  No clumps or lumpy feeling.  If powder makes your skin dry, try applying Palmers Cocoa butter at night in folds and then shower and apply powder in the day when you go out.

  • Sports bras are great for the summer because they absorb moisture when you sweat.

  • White Undershirts, tank top style (also called wife beaters) are good to absorb sweat.  Sweat stains on your clothing doesn't look good.  Also try the men's style of boxer brief  or the cotton under clothing to handle chaffing  between the legs.  (NOTE: the king sized link and lane bryant link above)

  • Carry a handkerchief with you to wipe your face.  There all all kinds now in colors to match all your outfits. Tuck them in your pocket, wrap around your head or neck.

  • Try braided hair styles to keep the hair off your neck and face.  Braids look really cute on men or women.

  • Carry a long towel and keep it wet and around your neck to keep cool.  BIG MINUS is that your shirt will also get wet.  You can try one of the links below to purchase a item to keep your neck cool.  They work very well and bring your temperature down quite a bit.

  • Neck Cooler -

  • Neck Cooler -




Other things you can do in the Summer

  • Try attending some of the Big People events and bashes where you can meet other big people from all over the US.   I bet you will meet some cool individuals to hit the pool and beach with.

  • Go to your local BBW parties and gatherings.  Bring friends large and small, I often bring my lil sis.

  • ROAD TRIP - get a few BBW friends together and hit a party in another state.

  • Have a gathering yourself with your friends. 

  • Go to your Local Zoo

  • Hit the movies and have a nice lunch

  • Have a Barbecue at home or at your Local Park.

  • Amusement Parks are not so fun if you cant fit in the ride. But some have nice beach locations that are cleaner than public beaches.  Some also have Water park areas and pools.  So you can have fun there.

  • ROAD TRIP - with close friends to visit a near by state and just explore.

  • Have a shopping day with friends and go to a mall that you usually don't go to.

  • Have a slumber party at a friends house an A/C is a must and lots of movies and cookies.

  • Go Camping and stay near a lake to swim.

  • Maybe you have a friend with a backyard, Kick in for a big kiddie swimming pool and all the big girls can sit around in it and have Margarita's.  It is even better if someone has a real pool.

     Whatever you do this summer be a proud Big Person and never let anyone shame you into staying in your house all day.  Drink lots of water and just have fun.  No one should take your joy from you. Summer time is time to Strut your stuff!  Oh yeah invite me!


Thank you for Reading Raqui's Spot!

Would you like to give your comments?

Email Raqui:

Jay's Spot

Jay's Spot

From a Male point of view.

This months Subject :

Top International Plus Sized Websites


Top International Plus Sized Sites

     The Big World started in The United States of America? Is this true or not? or is up to the historians, the empowerment pioneers, and BBW/BHM club promoters who all tell several stories on how and where it began. The fact is that it's now alive and kicking in many countries around the globe. Many organizations, events, magazines, websites, entertainers, models, and local businessmen and women have popped up during the recent years and due to the rise of the popularity proves that we will be around for a long time. At present (2005), the media is following the band wagon by promoting Big Clubs on main stream television shows, newspapers, magazines, and websites. In the past, most of the press releases and interviews have been negative while now they seem to show another light or a positive side to our story. Does it matter? Will it die out? Will the story change later on when "The War on Fat" simmers down or will it positively increase for the better? Only time will tell!

     I personally hear from people all over the world in our emails. Most people say that there is a worldwide following of People of Size and admirers but it's small compared to the numerous amount of websites, events, and Fat Movements in the U.S.. Even tough, BBW/BHM sites are becoming more internationally known. I decided to dedicate this month's issue to provide links for those who would like to surf size sites around the world. If you know of any other international sites or interesting articles please email us with the links. Also, be aware that translator sites are available, making it much easier for readers to view sites in their language of choice. Here is a list of our International favorites....Hope you enjoy!









Some more Great International Sites:  (Australia)  (Australia)  (Australia) (UK)  (France)  (Brazil)  (France)  (France)  (France)  (Switzerland)  (Russia)  (France)  (Poland)  (Poland)  (Germany)  (Germany)  (Germany)  (Italy)  (UK)  (Germany)  (UK)  (UK)  (Berlin)  (Italy)  (Australia)  (Canada)  (Russia)  (Canada)  (Italy)  (France)  (Canada)  (France)  (France)  (France)  (Italy)  (France)  (UK)  (Russia)  (France)  (UK)  (France)  (Spain)  (Australia)  (Australia)  (Australia)


Thanks for reading Jay's Spot

   Guest Spot

Large In Charge Guest Spot

We want to hear and see your talents!


One of our favorite parts of the newsletter.  The Guest Spot is for our readers to submit there talents to be viewed.  We want to see all you wonderful supporters making moves of your own.  If you write poetry, short stories, commentaries, or just thoughts in general, please submit them to us.  If your a designer we want to see pictures of your clothing.   We would love to include your talents in our newsletter.  We hope you take an active part in the L.I.C. newsletter.

NOTE: The Opinion of the writer is not always the opinion of The Large in Charge Staff.  We support the Right to all views.  We do not Condemn or Approve writing based on our personal thoughts.  We approve writing based on if the subject is a concern for the BBW / SSBBW / BHM Community.  Thank you for your writing and please send in those articles!  - The Large in Charge Staff

About our Guest Writer

The Internet Playa from our April 2004 Issue

Name:  Ira Bobby Patrick Toole Jr.

Age: 33 

DOB: May 4,, 1971

Height: 6'8

Weight: 321

Location: Sacramento California

Yahoo Name: itoole

AOL Name:

Link to our April 2004 Issue

An Apology from an Internet Playa?! or is it?

     itoole (6/2/2005 8:02:10 AM): Hello raqui i wanted to say thank you for what you did exposing me for the liar i had become Since that that was posted stating how I was doing people wrong changed me And I owe it all to you i would like to publically apologize to each and every woman i made empty promises to and hopefully one day i can be forgiven make sure that this is posted wherever it can be seen publically as i set here and confess my wrongful doing i have found a woman that Am really truely and deeply in Love with but my past has the relationship on the rocks so the only thing I cn do is come publically and confess to everyone that I was living a lie and make a mends with it so I can move on So i come to you today and confess my lying and empty promises My name is Ira Bobby Toole at I want to say I am Wrong and I have something to say to anyone that is doing what i was doing

itoole (6/2/2005 8:03:23 AM): Guys don t do it it will bite you in the end just keep it real and let that person accept you for you never try and be something your not

itoole (6/2/2005 8:03:23 AM): Guys don t do it it will bite you in the end just keep it real and let that person accept you for you never try and be something your not Thank You Raqui

itoole (6/2/2005 8:04:27 AM): You ll always be in my Heart be cause you helped me out alot by making me see what i was doing was not right

itoole (6/2/2005 8:05:34 AM): please post this in the proper place so it will be seen publically.

I also received this via email from a woman's email address her name is Tasha Crawford.

A response to an Internet Playa

   Who is Tasha Crawford? Hopefully she is not another pawn in your game. It is pretty hard Patrick to believe that you suddenly stopped your lying ways, When I have gotten reports from all over the internet about how you have traveled to have unprotected sex with a lady claiming to want to have a baby with her.  She is now scared to death and getting all types of tests after she found out about you.

     I also got reports from various women about you wanting to marry and have children with them.  Many women all at the same time. You have cheated a daughter and mother out of thousands of dollars. Convinced some young mans aunt to give you money to travel to her. Convinced women to give you credit cards Etc Etc Etc.  In the past month I received another report of another woman is out a few hundred dollars and she thanks god that is all she lost. I feel sorry for this Tasha person if she believes she is your girl in some way. If she actually believes you she is more lost by your words than any of the other women who has been used by you.

   These are just a few of the people you have harmed. Women could actually make a network across the internet with all the reports I have gotten. Not to mention those who started getting calls from the woman who lives with you. Or rather the woman you live with. And all your friends saying they don’t want to be involved in the nonsense you have been dealing with.  I even got reports from some of the BBW women who own adult sites about you trying to make some kind of relationship to get free memberships and videos from them.  Right after you sent me this email I got three more reports from three other women who you have just contacted and tried to play the same game.  So your not stopping and your not sorry. 

     I never thought that doing this article would bring the amount of information that I have received from ladies across the net.  Every time you put a car up for sale I know about it, Every time you go up on Craig list someone emails me the information.  Then I get more emails on how you promised money from the sale to others but never sent it.

     What type of demented human being are you?  You know this is wrong and you always play as thought you so sorry and want sympathy.  How can you do this to others?  Especially the sick and poor people who are now suffering because of you.  Your busy spending others hard earned money to buy your wrestling stuff, clothes etc. Whatever it is you’re spending it on. It is a shame that you have been taking advantage of others for YEARS like this. But Karma is a Bitch and one day it will hit you back like your letter says.

     Do I believe your really sorry. NO!!!    When you pay back everyone dollar for dollar with a sincere apology then I will believe that you’re sorry. You haven’t even tried to pay anyone back. If I were to count the number of reports I got it would be more than the years you have been alive. If you’re truly sorry Pay the people back so they are not in debt for the next few years paying back the debt you incurred for them. So that the terminally ill woman can buy her medication, So that the daughter and mother wont have to be living penny to penny trying to pay back the credit card you used up. Then maybe none of these people have to call your sister (If she is your sister) asking about you.

Maybe you will turn around maybe not. But until you do right by these people the bad vibes you sent out will just be waiting to hit you back.



Product of the Month

Large In Charge

Product of the Month!

What is good for Big Sized Bodies


    A very important and necessary part of LargeInCharge.  Find out what is helpful for big bodies.  Keep your self straight with some of our tips and tricks. Find out what other Big Sized people use to keep themselves smelling, feeling, looking, and living a proper life.  What kind of products are allowed. Anything that deal with the body. From cleaning aids to soap, lotions, powder, healing aids etc.  anything that can help a big body!

NOTE: The Opinion of those who submit items are not professional.  They are everyday people who found something that worked for them.  We are not held responsible for there opinion - The Large in Charge Staff

Send your favorite Item to be Product of the Month - Follow format below, include a picture of product (most can be found online) and Send to

Comparison of a

Normal Toilet seat on Left and

a Big John's Toilet Seat on the Right 

About the Product

Recommender:  Jay
Name of Product:  Big John's Toilet Seat

Type of Product: Big Sized Toilet Seat

Cost of Product: $120.00 - $130.00 depending on color

Where Product can be found:
Stores:  Listed on above site.

Why I like this Product : I like this product because it is a brilliant idea!
People of Size sometimes have limited resources when trying to find 
items which fit their needs. This product is very much needed. The 
website is user friendly and provides good information about the 
product. The price is reasonable and can be easily purchased online. 
To add, the company used SSBBW "Goddess Patty" in their 
advertisement which showed that they appreciate People of Size.



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