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Issue # 20 - October 2005

"In life there will be curves...  and they are all over my body." - Raqui of


Welcome to the Large In Charge Newsletter


In this Issue of L.I.C


LargeInCharge Flea Market - Online area where you can sell and purchase clothing, shoe's, etc. at low prices.  Bring all your used, items here to sell.


BBW/BHM Hurricane Relief - How you can Help BBW and BHM who are suffering from Hurricane Katrina!


Featured Person -  Interview with Rosalee Women's Size Apparel - Custom Clothing in size 1x (18w) - 9x (50w)


Raqui's Spot - Internet Dating and People of Size


Jay's Spot - What's Hot...What's Not! In the Big World.  LargeInCharge hits the West Coast


Guest Spot - INTERNET PLAYA PART III -  The Revelation of Ira Bobby Patrick Tool Jr.


Product of the Month -  Products for People of Size


Ask Raqui & Jay - Send us your questions, we always answer. Back by popular demand!


Events & Pictures - L.I.C. Delivers Info. on the hottest BBW events, See what we are doing in the community.


Big World Resources -  Check out our brand new menu. We are building the largest Resource of BBW Information on all things Plus Sized people want to know.


Feature of the Month

Monthly Feature

Rosalee Women's Size Apparel

Custom Clothing in sizes 1x (18w) - 9x (50w)


Silver off the Shoulder by Rosalee


Raqui in a Rosalee Design

Click thumbnail to view


Rosalee Women's Size Apparel



     I just happen to come across Rosalee Women's Size Apparel last year.  I was impressed by the fact that she will custom your purchase for you.  I am a very tall SSBBW 6'4 580lbs.  Rosalee's 9X fits me good a little lose even.  She was able to make my shirts as long as I needed and they fit me great.  I get many compliments when I wear the blouse in the picture (to the left).


     Rosalee is a wonderful person from what I have experienced.  I will not hesitate to buy from her again.  Her return policy is better than most and if your not happy with your purchase she will fix it or replace it.


     The material Rosalee picks is quite nice and the quality is better than some I have seen.  Out of two blouses I bought one I was able to machine wash the other I washed easily by hand.  They both air dried with no problems.


     I would recommend Rosalee Women's Size Apparel to all the SSBBW's who really don't have many resources in clothing.  You can have items made for your size.  Longer if you want to cover your belly. Shorter sleeves, longer sleeves.  Whatever you want Rosalee can make it for you.  If you have material at home that you want a blouse made in.  She will do it for you.  It is a way to have a piece of clothing made just for you at an affordable price.


Interview with Rosalee of Rosalee Women's Size Apparel What is your name? 


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: Rosalee Bellamy Where are you from and what is your current Location? 


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: I am from Clarksville Tn, I have traveled extensively, but this is home and I still live here. Do you consider yourself a BBW or a SSBBW?  


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: I am a BBW Who is the owner of you company? 


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: I own my company. Tell us about your company?


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: I own my own factory, I design and create my own patterns, I have my own label and trademark. I only create clothes for women size 1x(18w) to 9x(50w). How did your company begin?


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: I started sewing when I was 5 yrs old. My mother and sister were what we used to call full figured women so I started sewing for them when I was 12. Everyone who knows me would tell me I had a special gift. I started sewing for the public in the early seventies and I soon realized that alterations and all types of sewing were not for me. In 1978 I started designing exclusively for full figure women. How did your company get its name?


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: I have had to change my company name twice because our identity has changed from full figured, half sized, women sizes, etc. I decided to use my first name in 1999. So whatever terms the industry calls us in the future I will be right in step. Does your company have a motto or slogan; and what does it mean?


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: “YOUR STYLE TELLS THE WORLD WHO YOU ARE, NOT YOUR SIZE.” So many Plus size and large size women focus on their size when they decide to buy clothes, we need to think about our fashion choices and become the best we can be, not be consumed about what we weigh. If you have style, people will notice that first, a BBW who has style looks better than a skinny woman with no style any day of the week. How long have you been in business? 


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: I have been in business online for 2 yrs. I have been mail order merchant for over 15 years. I have been doing clothing locally since the 1970s. Tell us about your clothing products?


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: I love doing trendy fashions, I believe we BBW’s should have all the trendy fashions that the slim women have. I also do “The Classics.” I design dresses, suits, pants, crop pants, capris, shorts, skirts, tops, blouses, Ponchos, special occasion wear, active wear, outerwear, sleepwear, sweaters, jackets, and vests. What made you decide to make clothing?


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: It is my gift from My Heavenly Father, and I love what I do. Who designs the clothing you sell?


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: I do. I study, what people wear, what’s in the marketplace, fashion magazines, QVC, HSN, I get suggestions from my friends and customers. Are you currently looking for new designers? 


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: Only if they share the same passion that I do. What is the size range on your clothing and do you custom? 


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: 1x(18w) to 9x(50w). Yes I will customize your garment. Does you company do Fashion shows, if so where? 


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: I participate in fashion shows in Nashville Tn, I think its more interesting for the audience to see the designs of more than one designer or company. Do you have a website and a hardcopy catalogs; how do we obtain a hard copy catalog?


Rosalee Women Size Apparel:   we are in the process of building a new website, but this will not affect you finding us. We also have . We have catalogs, just send us an email at  and we will add your name and address to our mailing list.  Tell us about your latest fashions and any up & coming products?


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: Stretch cotton Capri's, crop pants, shorts, skirts, Linen blend suits, sheer flowing skirts, Shrug sets, and summer formal wear. Overall, What are your best sellers?  


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: Casual wear. Has your company or clothing ever been showcased on Television or in Print?


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: Yes, several years ago on a local television station in Nashville Tn, and also in Radiance magazine. Do you feel the fashion industry is doing a good job providing quality clothing for Big Women? 


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: Yes What are the ordering options that customers have? 


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: We accept orders on our website, we have a toll free number for orders, and we accept mail orders. How long does it take for a purchase to be received?


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: Unless there is a problem beyond our control, we try to fulfill all orders in 2 to 4 business days from the date we receive payment. What are your refund options?


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: Items must be returned in 7 to 10 days from the date you receive your order. A tracking number must be emailed to us, and insurance purchased. When we receive the return item we immediately issue a refund in the same manner that your order was paid. How do you find your models?


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: I have a lot of BBW friends in all sizes and nationalities. They all love to model for me, because I pay them with clothes. How can someone apply to be a model for your website or catalog?


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: They would need to live within 100 miles of me. I stay very busy, so I don’t have time to travel further than 100 miles. What qualifications do you look for when choosing a model?


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: They need to represent the marketplace-no thin women, Be able to apply makeup that is currently in style, have a good shoe wardrobe. Who does the photography on your website?


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: Sometime I do, also I have a professional man who helps. Did you construct the website with the release of your clothing or did it come after?


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: After Was the site it an automatic success or did it take time to kick off?


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: It took several months to start getting enough sales to pay for the marketing. Name some designers and companies you admire?  


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: I love to visit SOHO when I come to NYC. The details on the garments enthrall me. What are the most important elements to running a successful Online Clothing Company...quality; comfort...what is important/ what is not?  


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: First of all is good customer service. Have a website that works, a working toll free number, answer emails promptly, and send tracking numbers and the date you plan to ship within a few hours from when the order is placed. I have learned to use UPS rather than USPS, for tracking, and avoiding frustrations. After that is taken care of, good product description. I specialize in comfort, quality fabrics and workmanship. I try to give more than my customers pay for. Do you feel people of size have made progress in the last 10 years, do you think the internet is part of that progress?


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: People of size (and skinny people) know how to shop better online now than 10 years ago. I believe shopping online will continue to grow. I love having a store that is open 24 hours a day, and having customers worldwide. How has the internet helped your business? 


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: YES, YES, YES. Trying to make a living selling to a small or medium size city is too stressful. There will always be somebody in the world that has money. What can the readers at LargeInCharge do to help support your business? 


Rosalee Women Size Apparel: Send me your suggestions, and please buy something every 3 to 4 months. If you do not see anything you like, keep visiting my website, because I buy a tremendous amount of fabrics, so I am always designing new fashions.



     Rosalee I wish you many years of continued success.  It is people like you that give women like us some resource that understands a big woman's need in clothing.  Raqui

Raqui's Spot

Raqui's Spot

From a Female's Point of View

This month's subject

Internet Dating and People of Size

Email Raqui:

Now you can check out Raqui's Blog with reviews and recommendations for places to go. As she travels she will give you the info on what is best for Big Sized people.  Plus you can take a quick view of her life!  She has also been giving the info. on internet bullshit!  And Bullshit in General.



Internet Dating and People of Size

LOVE LOVE LOVE!  It seems like everyone wants to be in love now a days.  Conventional dating services are a thing of the past.  Personal ads and telephone lines are nothing compared the vast amount of Dating services that are available on the internet. 

     There is a dating site for everyone, geared to what they physically or emotional want in a mate.  Of course there is a huge amount of dating sites for the large of body and looking.  But there is a secret that many of the Large and Looking don't know about, or realize.  Dating sites can be a dangerous situation if your not careful.  It seems as though thousands of big men and women are being used, abused, and hurt emotionally... even physically.

     How does internet dating work?  You usually can join for free to view profiles of people who say they are single.  Usually you cannot use all the features of the site, unless you pay a membership fee.   Some dating sites offer a free trial membership for a number of days.  You then pay a membership fee.  After setting up your own profile, with your information.  You click around see profiles and send messages to those you like and wait for a response.  There are many times in which people don't pay the membership fee, and try to leave little clues so you can contact them in other ways.  Once you do contact someone who likes your profile you start to chat via the site or through other types of avenues, like email and messenger.

     But do you really know who your talking to through the computer?  Can you believe what they say?  Is this really a safe way to get to know someone?  Some say regular dating is just as dangerous.  Others say chatting, emailing, instant messaging, view pictures and profiles for days, weeks, months at a time.  Can give you a false sense of security in thinking you know the person.  Then when you met you are more willing to do things that you shouldn't do, because in reality they are still a stranger.

     Terrible experiences have been reported through the internet.  Internet playa's are abundant often speaking to and using many women or men at the same time.  (One such playa's history can be found by going to the Guest section of this newsletter)  Married men and women, those in relationships use the internet as a virtual playground in which they are manipulating peoples minds and hearts.  There are reports of people meeting, being caught in hurtful and dangerous situations.  Some of these people have been kind enough to share with us.

Readers Experiences

Raqui -  I once tried the Dating Tech Network.  They have one huge database and anyone can make an affiliate account so they can refer people to the dating service. I joined a BBW orientated account.  I received an enormous amount of emails daily.  Some good and some very nasty.   One day I got an email from a lady who gave me a GO GIRL shout out.  She said my profile was cool.  Me and this lady began to speak on messenger.  She had gotten an email from another lady on the website.  This email was mean telling her to "leave her man alone."  I met more women on the network over time.  During these talks with women I came to find out that many of them were dating, or have dated, and had sex with the same men who were messaging me!   I created a yahoo conference one night and we all met up.  By the end of the conversation with the six ladies (all of which were large BBW's and SSBBW's).  Five of them had slept with with the same four men in the past year. Three of them were now sleeping with the same man.  Two of those women thought they were in a relationship with him.  I was the only one who had not slept with anyone.  I decided online dating just isn't worth it.

Spanish Fly - I joined a dating site called  I got a ton of emails but one guy I replied to.  He seemed cool and we emailed back and forth for a month.  Then we had a phone conversation and met.  We had a 2 year relationship and many things happened between us.  He said he wanted to marry me and we had a set plan.  He was living with me at the time I found out he had a woman living less than a mile from me.  On weekends he would go see her and tell me he was in Jersey so he could go to his church out there.  There were things that happened during the two years that made me suspicious but he always had a good story or excuse.  He was with the woman for 5 years so actually I was the other woman in the story.  He used me for his reasons and was living a double life.  He is with her now to my knowledge.  I am so glad he didn't pick me to stay with, I might have accepted him back.  I see I don't want to live the rest of life with a man like that.

Lovely Lady - I joined a site for black singles.  I talked to a guy whose name was Martin.  We started dating and everything was cool until one night his wife knocked on my door.  His name was not Martin it was Saul.  His wife was white and we ended up in a fight.  I kicked her ass and she pressed charges on me.  Martin or Saul whatever the hell his name is.  Went to police and told them I was a stalker who was going after him from the internet.  Then only reason they dropped charges was when I said I had proof that he was after me and we were in a relationship.

One of a Kind Male -  I belonged to many dating sites.  I am not sure where I met her but she was beautiful.  I was dating a few ladies from the sites but Sonia was the best.  I knew I wanted her to be my girl. I stopped dating everyone and decided she was my girl.  I took her out all the time, out to eat, shopping, we even took a weekend trip.  She told me that she didn't want to take me to her house because of her kids.  She didn't want to introduce them to someone who might not be in there life forever.  I understood that and wanted to prove myself.  What was funny that when we talked on the phone I never heard kids.  She never carried pictures of them either but I put that out of my head.  We dated for 8 months when her husband picked up the phone one night.  Not only was she married but she didn't have kids.  She was seeing me while her husband worked the night shift.  It was a big mess.

Scared and Sorry - I joined a site in 2001.  I met a few people and got comfortable with the idea of online dating.  Their was one guy that met me and we saw each other a couple of time.  The third time we went for a ride. We drove about two hours.  He said he had a surprise for me, we had a picnic in a park and it was really romantic.  When he started coming on to me sexually I didn't want to and he forced himself on me.  He hit me afterward and left me in the park.  When I woke up it was dark and I didn't know how to get home.  I was able to flag down someone who took me to the local police.  I made a report but they cant find him.  I didn't remember his license.  His online account was gone by they time they went online.  All the information he gave me was fake.  I gave a description but nothing came up.  To this day I am sorry I ever met him.  I don't online date anymore.

Scar - My online dating career came to a short end when I went out with a lady name lizzie.  We were having a nice dinner when her man came in and we ended up in a fight. He cut me across my face with my beer bottle.  I will be wearing that scar forever.

How to be Careful when Dating Online

     Dating in General is something that can be dangerous in this time and day.  And online chatting is not dating.  You cannot truly learn about someone through chatting.  You are only getting to know what the person is letting you know.  You are not involved in their life.  You have no idea who this person is across the computer.  So when you meet you should do so in a safe way.

Here are some tips for online dating:

  • Never tell online buddies where you live.  Be vague about your neighborhood, county, town, borough.
  • Do archive all your messages so that you can reference them later for inconsistencies.
  • Do put all of there online ids and real name if you have it.  In a search engine to find out about there internet presence.
  • Do not give your home phone number to a online friend.
  • Do not give you whole name, use a first name or nick name.
  • If you call an online friend block the number your calling from by dialing *67 before the number.
  • Do not share information such as, bank, credit card, salary, passwords, last name etc.
  • Never receive anything at your address, use a PO box.
  • When meeting someone from online.  Do not have them pick you up.
  • When meeting someone from online. Make sure you come on your own and leave on your own.
  • Try to leave before the person so they cannot follow you home.
  • Do not take rides in there car.
  • Do not allow them to see what you have in your purse/bag.
  • Do not bring people home with you no matter how nice they seem.
  • Do not let people drop you at home.
  • Do not drink when meeting someone for the first time.  It may impair your judgment.
  • When meeting for the first time meet in a public place.  Try not to go alone.
  • Do let friends and family know where you are going, who your meeting and call them during the evening so that they can be sure your ok.


These are just a few things that you can do to be safe when meeting and dating people from online.  I hope that you all take care and remember it is your safety first.  If someone gives you a hard time about your rules and safety technique.  Then you shouldn't want to get to know them.  Someone who wants to date you for good reasons also wants you to feel secure. Be Safe!


Thank you for Reading Raqui's Spot!

Would you like to give your comments?

Email Raqui:

Jay's Spot

Jay's Spot

From a Male point of view.

This months Subject : BBW Events





Who is the Hottest?

In The Big World.....right now...some things are HOT! some things are NOT!.....Lets put it like this....  is THE #1 HOTTEST thing in Big World....PERIOD!


     For a minute now..."Jay's Spot" has been predicting that Mo' is and will be one of the biggest advantages for the underground BBW scene. Why? Because Nobody else does it better! or put it like this...somebody...anybody...pull another persons name up and....send it in. Bottom line...if I have to honestly back track on ALL the interesting people in the Big World who..."Changed the Game" Mo' is making noise bigger and better than anybody I've ever seen.


     When Mo' dropped "Fat Chance", her first BBW Beauty Pageant Television was on the scene promoting (online), attending the casting calls, and interviewing the contestants, runner ups and general public who attended the events. On the real, the first NYC casting call was so off the hook that I found a hand written letter on the back of a flyer where a lady was spilling her heart out on how her and her friends traveled from afar....not to participate but just to show support because "They loved her". I was like "WOW".


   That that was the biggest BBW crowd I have ever seen in my life!, the event was totally professional/ with CLASS, Mo' personally attended the event, and the mainstream media was all over the place.....the fans literally traveled...people was from all over....just to drop her "A NOTE" me THAT was a Beautiful thing!


     What's NOT HOT? is that when I posted the casting info on a few message boards...some party promoters from THE WEST COAST (which I won't mention names...cause I ain't really mad at them)...emailed me and said "we are not going to post this info".

     Why? because What does this have to do with the people over here? (On The West Coast) I was heated at first...I wrote back like...FUCK YAU'LL...all cocky like...but I wrote back again to excuse myself.  I needed to know why they came at me like that...we always posted info in these spots...why now the bullshit?


      Was it personal to Mo...or what? but when I wrote back like...this is Mo's "Official" event, they wrote WHO IS MO'NIQUE? and why should we care anyway? As a Black Man, I just assumed that everybody watches The Parker's, everybody watches B.E.T., everybody watches the Apollo...but after questioning a few fans. I found that culturally, on the BBW scene, even though we have our own Fat Community (common bond) thing, we sometimes live in different worlds.


     I could only explain to them that Mo' is the Hottest thing in the Big World RIGHT NOW, I ask them to merely "Recognize", the casting calls are on THE EAST COAST AND THE WEST COAST, and when they do finally hear about what's really Popp'in....remember that LARGEINCHARGE.COM brought it to you first and direct. By now...they know what time it is! The most inspiring thing that I heard Mo' say was that she organized this casting calls and TV Show because she felt it was time for "Big Girls" to take Hollywood by storm. Of course...I took it literally.


SO What else is HOT?



Jay with Cher and Lisa of Volupcity Having a Ball BBW  PARTY FOR ALL!

Update coming SOON!  We chilling on the West Coast 2!

Jay Hot Picks:

The book, "Real Women Don't Diet" , written by Ken Hot. I highly recommend that all FA's and admirers pick up this book. Shout outs to Goddess Patty for putting me up on this.  (Artist Section) has a Rapper, "Charlie Biscuits" that's making noise on the West Coast....everybody need to keep their eyes and ears open...don't sleep on Big Boy!  , In my personal opinion, produced the Hottest Big World RAP Compilation Album yet...I predict it to be a classic. It has a 15 songs, the production is HOT, they give a variety of artist, and its all BBW Friendly records.

The only thing that is NOT HOT?
Female BBW Rapper "Lady Nae" did an intro called "Club Scene"....that's off the HOOK! clearly she deserved more cuts on the album....I'm looking forward to buying her album someday. HOT!  .... HOT!


HOT Interview with Cesar Bielich of Fat Guys Shirts


Cesar Bielich of Fat Guys Shirts: Fat Guy Shirts (


Cesar Bielich of Fat Guys Shirts: Yes


Cesar Bielich of Fat Guys Shirts: It just came to me...and it fit perfect with the idea of the shirts


Cesar Bielich of Fat Guys Shirts: Yes, I weight 276 currently


Cesar Bielich of Fat Guys Shirts: You know it, ever since I can remember I have always made the rubbing sound with my corduroy pants


Cesar Bielich of Fat Guys Shirts: Heck yeah!! I could never get a chick growing up


Cesar Bielich of Fat Guys Shirts: September 1st 2004


Cesar Bielich of Fat Guys Shirts: I do it all myself


Cesar Bielich of Fat Guys Shirts: For the most part everyone loves the concept, but you get those sensative freaks who dont understand humor and complain.


Cesar Bielich of Fat Guys Shirts: Just as the title of the site says, We sell tshirts for fat guys. And of course there is some humor there but I am a fat guy who is far from being afraid of being fat so I thought that there were others out there just like me. Well come to find out "There Are"


Cesar Bielich of Fat Guys Shirts: Winning in the fight against Anorexia Cesar Bielich of Fat Guys Shirts: Buffet Molester Cesar Bielich of Fat Guys Shirts: I dare you to picture me naked Cesar Bielich of Fat Guys Shirts: Does this shirt make me look fat? Skinny People Suck!


Cesar Bielich of Fat Guys Shirts: Check out our site and Buy shirts!

WHATS NOT HOT? ...THE KEYNA a Blackman...I didn't understand the humor!


Thanks for reading Jay's Spot

   Guest Spot

Large In Charge Guest Spot

We want to hear and see your talents!


One of our favorite parts of the newsletter.  The Guest Spot is for our readers to submit there talents to be viewed.  We want to see all you wonderful supporters making moves of your own.  If you write poetry, short stories, commentaries, or just thoughts in general, please submit them to us.  If your a designer we want to see pictures of your clothing.   We would love to include your talents in our newsletter.  We hope you take an active part in the L.I.C. newsletter.

NOTE: The Opinion of the writer is not always the opinion of The Large in Charge Staff.  We support the Right to all views.  We do not Condemn or Approve writing based on our personal thoughts.  We approve writing based on if the subject is a concern for the BBW / SSBBW / BHM Community.  Thank you for your writing and please send in those articles!  - The Large in Charge Staff

Internet Playa - The Revelation

The Revelation of Ira Bobby Patrick Tool Jr.   

     I have to say it was a big gesture from another victim of Ira's hateful manipulative lifestyle.  Another woman who we will call Regretful came forward with more information into Ira Bobby Patrick Tool Jr.   She tells her story about how she got involved with Patrick and was able to get away with out any financial loss.  But she still fears for her health.  This latest report find Ira in jail another time.  His jail house id to the left and report at the bottom of this article.  He has two charges one is a Felony for Fraud.  His next appearance in court is October 6th, 2005

     This is another true to life tail in the terrible saga of internet dating.  Ladies beware because Ira is not the only man on the internet playing these sort of games.  You need to watch the warning signs when you meet people online.

     Below you will hear Regretful account in dealing with Ira.  At the bottom is the online report on him.  Directly below is the links to view what we have covered on Ira so far.  This is his Third appearance in our online magazine.


Link to our April 2004 Issue

First Appearance - Interviews with two women.

One who was able to get away and a victim


Link to our July 2005 Issue

Second Appearance - A so called Apology from Ira



A word from Regretful

     I'm another 1 of Patrick's victims. I never gave him money but he made empty promises to me. Only thing I am upset about is having unprotected sex with him and introducing my children to him. He claimed to me that he loved me and wanted to marry me. He also said he wanted me to have his baby. Twins run in his family. He said he had an Aunt that lived down the street from me and when he would leave my house he was going down the street to take his Aunt to Bingo to make some extra cash cause he was broke and didn't have any money for gas for his Suburban. Oh yeah 1 day I noticed my gas can low. I asked him about it and he got mad and left. He had used it for his Suburban and never even told me. Claims he was going to tell me about it. Why am I tripping over gas. See something wrong with a man if he got to steal your gas for his own car. That's a broke MF.

     I also had this feeling that something wasn't right with him. He didn't have a phone I could called. Said he lived with his ex girlfriend and that she was moving out soon. He said he didn't want to disrespect her by bringing another woman into the house. He said he was having money problems with his Tow Truck business.  I live in Sacramento. He said he was planning on going to school to be an EMS. Yeah right.....Oh yeah he said he used to be a cop, in the military, sell drugs, helped kids, graduated from Grambling State in Louisiana for Criminal Justice. Has his BA. Yeah right he couldn't even spell simple words.

     He said he wanted me and only me. He said he wasn't chatting online with other women but I'd ask him why he still had his profile up on different sites. His answer would be "Cause someone emailed me... so I was just seeing what they said". I knew something was up with him cause I would only see him maybe twice a week. He claimed he was so busy trying to save his failing business. He wanted to be a father to my kids. I had met him last year around the summer time and we only saw each other a couple of times.

     Now I wish I hadn't of spoken to him, June is when I got more involved with him after that.  August he was telling me that he needed to come up with 650.00 to give for Work Project because he would being going to jail if he didn't pay. I didn't offer to help him and I wasn't going to. I never give money to men. He told me some story how he got into trouble. Some lie about having too many tickets driving without a license. Then 1 day I overheard him telling someone on his cell phone ( that he recently had turned on supposedly) that he's going to jail for hitting someone. So which 1 is the true story.

     Right now he is incarcerated. He even made a comment that maybe he would hide out with me so they wouldn't find him to arrest him. He could hide out for 3 years with me. I made a comment to him that I don't harbor wanted convicts. He got mad. Said he thought I would be there for them but now he knows how I am. Oh well now he's incarcerated. Females beware of men like him. Right before he went to jail. I had told him to come get a couple of things he had left over here because I just wanted to be friends. Something just told me he's not telling u the truth. WOMEN LISTEN TO YOUR INSTINCTS. I was right because I found this site on him. NOW I HAVE TO HOPE AND PRAY HE DIDN'T GIVE ME ANY DISEASES. WOMEN USE PROTECTION NO MATTER WHAT THAT MAN TELLS U!

You can keep up with Ira's case by using this site so see if he is out of jail or what new developments occur.


Sacramento County Inmate Information

Detailed Inmate Information


All charges shown for arrested/in custody persons represent the most recent information known to the Sheriff's Department. As individuals move through the judicial process, charges may change.


Inmate Name   TOOLE, IRA BOBBY
X-Reference Number   X-2848807
Booking/Registry Number   08992825 
Date of Birth   05/04/71
Sex   Male 
Height   6'08" 
Weight   342 lbs. 
Facility   Sacramento County Main Jail (Facility Information
Housing Location   4W218A 
Mailing Address   TOOLE, IRA X-2848807 4W218A
Sacramento County Main Jail
651 "I" Street
Sacramento, CA 95814
Booking Date/Time   08/29/05 at 09:06 PM 
Type of Arrest   Pickup (Fresh Arrest) 
Case# 05TR040897(02) - Commitment Rearrest
VC 40508(A)  MIS   
Bail: No Bail
Case# 05F07636(03) - Filed Municipal Court Case
PC 475(C)  Felony   
Bail: $10,000.00
Total Bail   Ineligible for Bail  
Outstanding Warrants   Unknown
Projected Release Date   10/22/05
Next Court Date   10/06/05 at 08:30 AM 
Court Location & Dept.   Department 62 (Courthouse Information



Ask Raqui & Jay

Ask Raqui & Jay

Ask your Questions and We will answer!

Send your question to Raqui and Jay -

NOTE: The Opinion of Raqui and Jay is just that. We do not claim to be professionals or to solve your problems.  We can however give you a real answer that may help you out.

Ask Raqui Ask Jay
Q:  Hi! I've recently been dealing with a few complicated issues. You see, my boyfriend of two years is a FA. That's not a problem because I'm a bigger girl, but I think he likes slightly larger women than me. We have talked about this issue on numerous occasions, but I really feel that it can affect our relationship at times. For example, I think that he wants me to gain an excessive amount of weight. I'm not going to do something like this, because God made me this size, and I'm very happy with the way I look. I'm just afraid that this could be turning unhealthy because I look at my weight as a bad thing, when I've been happy with myself for so long. I found your website while looking around (which I might add is very nice), and I thought that I'd get someone's opinion (mainly because he can be shy about letting others know that he is a FA, and doesn't want me to talk to my girlfriends about it). Please let me know what you think of my situation.

Q:  Hi! I've recently been dealing with a few complicated issues. You see, my boyfriend of two years is a FA. That's not a problem because I'm a bigger girl, but I think he likes slightly larger women than me. We have talked about this issue on numerous occasions, but I really feel that it can affect our relationship at times. For example, I think that he wants me to gain an excessive amount of weight. I'm not going to do something like this, because God made me this size, and I'm very happy with the way I look. I'm just afraid that this could be turning unhealthy because I look at my weight as a bad thing, when I've been happy with myself for so long. I found your website while looking around (which I might add is very nice), and I thought that I'd get someone's opinion (mainly because he can be shy about letting others know that he is a FA, and doesn't want me to talk to my girlfriends about it). Please let me know what you think of my situation.

Raqui: Dear Garrett,  you say you think he wants you to gain.   That you feel it can affect your relationship.  Right now your going on your feelings and thoughts. You need to sit down and have a serious conversation and speak to him about your concerns.  If he is a Feeder and wants to make you gain weight, you have to tell him you don't want to gain.  If he insists then you need to look at this more in depth.  I don't recommend anyone gaining or losing weight to please a mate.  They have to love you the way you are.  Weather you get sick and end up losing 50 lbs, or gaining 50 lbs.  The love between you is what should matter.

     If you think the situation is become unhealthy you need to talk to him why you believe so.  What are the limitations and why you feel this way.  I hope he is not a Secret FA that wants to keep you tucked away.  He should not have fear that he loves Fat Girls.  If he does it sounds like he needs to work on his self confidence. 




Jay:  Garrett,  First lets clear up the statement ....."mainly because he can be shy about letting others know that he is a FA, and doesn't want me to talk to my girlfriends about it"...???  huh??? Being you stated confuse me on if your man likes women bigger than you.  Your first sentence said boyfriend "is an FA".  Which makes me wonder what is going on in your relationship which makes him give you the impression... he might be shy about people knowing... he likes fat girls? or that he likes fat girls bigger than you? next issue... what is wrong with "liking" fat girls bigger than you? The saying you can look.. but don't touch... you didn't say he wanted to leave you for a girl fatter than you... you said... "likes". Maybe you should flip the script on him....depending on how big he is...start hanging up pics of really big guys...start acting like SSBHM's really turn you on...give him a taste of his medicine...tell sexy is ...him gaining an extra 300 pounds...naw!!!  I think you should be up front...Ask him for real...what's his plans? This is a real subject though...I personally went thru this a lot of times. I've been with someone who I knew was smaller than my type... and even though I like her, I knew we wouldn't last... merely because of her size... at the time I was a teenager but... it happens! So maybe he is attracted to a certain size woman...maybe he never been down that road and is just sexually curious...bottom said "Like" and I don't think there is anything wrong with..."liking" someone. Lastly, research Feedee's and Feeders, and people other men who want their woman to gain excessive amounts of the research to your man...and make a firm decision.
Q:  I was wondering what made Raqui and Jay create LargeInCharge.


Q:  I was wondering what made Raqui and Jay create LargeInCharge.


Raqui: I have always been a writer, I started learning web design a few years ago.  I have been active in different parts of the BBW community.  When I met Jay we just brain stormed and I came up with a way to get the people to come to the product and receive the resources.  We wanted to give it to people the way they like it REAL.  I believe in helping the people making products and helping the people who need them to get them.  Thus we also help ourselves. Jay:  Toodle,  Speaking for Jay...."HUNGER".. is the main drive for me creating I enjoy creativity, sewing, hanging out with SSBBW's, and business...I  needed a way to advance in life. I longed for a business partner who knew how to make it happen on the net... Raq is from my hood...we researched what was hot... what was not... and what was missing in the Big World... baddaboonbaddabing!
Q:  I'm a 6'1, 500 pounds woman, that is looking for a car to purchase that I can comfortable fit in and put the seat belt on, without having to do set belt lengthening alterations....

Do you have any suggestions or know of any vehicles that are made for tall and larger people of size?

Thank for you for time!
Q:  I'm a 6'1, 500 pounds woman, that is looking for a car to purchase that I can comfortable fit in and put the seat belt on, without having to do set belt lengthening alterations....

Do you have any suggestions or know of any vehicles that are made for tall and larger people of size?

Thank for you for time!
Raqui:  Sorry I don't have any help with seat belts.  you will always have to get a seat belt extender.  But my dream vehicle is the 1999 GMC Yukon.  The seat is wide and deep and it is great for tall people.  Once 2000 hit GMC started making the seats in the Yukon smaller so that is why I pick a 1999.



Jay:  No....I don't know of any! only because you said seat belt alterations. I personally don't know of automobiles who caters to Super Size people.

Only specialty companies which seat belt "extenders". Now.. Car that you can comfortably fit top choice is the new Chryslers...roomy, affordable, classy....without having to do seat belt adjustments....I don't know! never heard of that! But you said car....SUV might be a different situation.

Q:  What does it really take to keep a relationship going from male and female side.


Q:  What does it really take to keep a relationship going from male and female side.


Raqui:  In my experience,  You need compatibility, understanding, dedication, and have a willingness to put in the work that it takes to keep a relationship going.  Relationships are not magical, we work for everything in life yet expect love to just be.  Relationship need work too.


Kool,  Now.... What does it take from a male/female perspective? you ever heard the saying.. Men are from Mars ,Women are from Venus"? or Apples & Oranges? well...male / female hard! Women
(generally) are CRAZY...PERIOD.. THIS IS AN "FA" Q&A SECTION....don't get it twisted. All you can do is remember...the FA is always right!  NAW!!!! Just humble, fair, and respect your partners gender.
Q:  I am I guess what is considered a SSBBW...and I think I'm at the point where I am comfortable enough with myself that I want to start wearing the sexy clothes that I have seen so many of my big beautiful sisters wearing...but I looked at and a few sites I have come across but is there sites that carry the sexy lingerie for us SSBBW's I have weird proportions being my weight is predominantly in my stomach hips n thighs (pear shaped) the sites I have seen with the SSBBW sizes have been incredibly expensive and I was thinking maybe they think cause they are of a very few people carrying these sizes that us big gals will feel we have to pay this to be sexy but I'm a single mom n cant afford over $145.00 for something I can floss my teeth with.. u have any site u could suggest to me I may have luck with?

thanks so much
Q:  I am I guess what is considered a SSBBW...and I think I'm at the point where I am comfortable enough with myself that I want to start wearing the sexy clothes that I have seen so many of my big beautiful sisters wearing...but I looked at and a few sites I have come across but is there sites that carry the sexy lingerie for us SSBBW's I have weird proportions being my weight is predominantly in my stomach hips n thighs (pear shaped) the sites I have seen with the SSBBW sizes have been incredibly expensive and I was thinking maybe they think cause they are of a very few people carrying these sizes that us big gals will feel we have to pay this to be sexy but I'm a single mom n cant afford over $145.00 for something I can floss my teeth with.. u have any site u could suggest to me I may have luck with?

thanks so much
Raqui:  Well I would tell you to keep checking our resources list for BBW clothing.  It is growing and as more people ask to add there links, we will have more places for you to shop.   What I can suggest to you is  the quality is ok.  As far as price, I cant help you there.  It is just expensive we have to pay the price for it.  Another suggestion is to buy the fabric and see if you can find someone in your area who will make the items for you. Having your own seamstress or tailor can be to your advantage. If you have to pay the big price you can have it custom made to your body.


Jay:  Sam,  I feel the site you mentioned  has reasonable prices and good styles. The other site I suggest is Actually, If you check our links you'll find a few. The high priced stuff? sometimes you gotta save money and pay for what you want. You asked if companies feel Big Gals have to pay to be sexy....they do! I find a few SSBBW Clothing sites that sell size up to 10x....good styles....everybody writes in and says the merchandise is cheap, flimsy, the size charts are difficult and the wears fall apart too fast. So you can get SSBBW gear for good prices...but the question is ...will you be willing to save money and pay for the clothes you need?
Q:  I wanted to find out if there are conventions and ways to meet SSBBW Admirers?? I've subscribe to a couple of dating sites, but I'm more of a face to face person. Is there a website or anywhere I can go to get this info?


Product of the Month

Large In Charge

Product of the Month!

What is good for Big Sized Bodies


    A very important and necessary part of LargeInCharge.  Find out what is helpful for big bodies.  Keep your self straight with some of our tips and tricks. Find out what other Big Sized people use to keep themselves smelling, feeling, looking, and living a proper life.  What kind of products are allowed. Anything that deal with the body. From cleaning aids to soap, lotions, powder, healing aids etc.  anything that can help a big body!

NOTE: The Opinion of those who submit items are not professional.  They are everyday people who found something that worked for them.  We are not held responsible for there opinion - The Large in Charge Staff

Send your favorite Item to be Product of the Month - Follow format below, include a picture of product (most can be found online) and Send to

Bongers Ancient Oriental Massage Tools 

About the Product
Recommender:  Raqui
Name of Product:  Bongers Ancient Oriental Massage Tools

Type of Product: Massage Tool

Cost of Product: $13.95

Where Product can be found:
Put the word Bonger in the search tool at the above site

Why I like this Product:  I originally bought this product to bong
a boyfriend.  But I have found many uses for it.  I use it to bong
my tired feet and calves.  I use it on the back of my neck and
between my shoulder blades.  I have bonged my dogs and they
liked it.  If you have circulation problems I recommend this
product.  I once had a bad head ache an bonged the crown of
my head and it worked.  It is great for couples to use on each 
other as a type of massage. 
     I would start softly hitting your self with the bonger. The best 
thing about this product is that you can easily use it on your back.  
You can now give yourself a massage.





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