"If humanity is counted in lbs...  I am Five times more human.... I deserve Five times the respect."

- Raqui of  LargeInCharge.com

 

Issue #22 - December 2005

Welcome to the Large In Charge Newsletter

 

In this Issue of L.I.C

 

LargeInCharge Flea Market - Online area where you can sell and purchase clothing, shoe's, etc. at low prices.  Bring all your used, items here to sell.

 

BBW/BHM Hurricane Relief - How you can Help BBW and BHM who are suffering from Hurricane Katrina!

 

Featured Person -  Michelle's of New York - Clothing Boutique and Spa Treatment.

 

Raqui's Spot - What to get a BBW/SSBBW/BHM for the holidays?

 

Jay's Spot - BBW History 101... Where did it all begin?

 

Guest Spot - A entry from our Writing Contest

 

Product of the Month -  Products for People of Size

 

Ask Raqui & Jay - Send us your questions, we always answer. Back by popular demand!

 

Events & Pictures - L.I.C. Delivers Info. on the hottest BBW events, See what we are doing in the community.

 

L.I.C. FREE RAFFLE -  $25.00 Gift Certificate and Free Manicure/Pedicure Combo from Michelle's of New York

Feature of the Month

Monthly Feature

Michelle's of New York

Catering to the Fashion & Physical Needs

of Large Ladies

 

Michelle of Michelle's of New York

 

 

Michelle's of New York on Long Island

 

 

 

 

www.michellesofnewyork.com

 

Come check out the new IGIGI line of holiday fashions at Michelle's of New York Plus Sizes,

79A Carleton Avenue, Islip Terrace NY.   

December 5-10.  Buy from the rack,

or place your orders in time for Holiday Delivery!

Michelle's of New York

 

     When I first heard of Michelle's of New York.  I was pleased to hear that there was an actual physical location people can go to to buy clothing in sizes up to 10XL.  Michelle told me that she keeps a great stock up to 6XL and some up to 8XL.  Anything she doesn't have in those sizes can be ordered upon request.  FINALLY a place that can give you some nice evening wear that is Classy not Trashy.

 

     Upon visiting the website I loved that she has pictures of her establishment.  She caters to her customers with chairs. A comfortable environment and large changing areas. 

 

     Michelle's now has a manicurist, pedicurist and  someone who comes in to do facials.  By appointment of course, but what an option for those of us who cant find a place that will take care of those special needs.

 

     "I will bring one of my big plush chairs the back for you... so you can have your pedicure." Michelle tells me on the phone.  "It is all about the costumer."

 

     Michelle's of New York has some of the latest trendy fashions out now.  She carries quite a few designers.  All well established and bringing it to the large ladies like never before.

 

   Michelle's of New York will be having a fashion show this December and another for Valentines. 

 

A HOLIDAY FASHION SHOW

DATE: Saturday, December 3rd    TIME: 8pm
PLACE: Double R Sports Bar & Grill
24 Lowell Avenue, Islip Terrace, NY 11752

 

     They will be leading the way for the beautiful woman in all sizes on the runway.  Their new events section and mailing list will keep you updated so you know all the big moves that Michelle's will be making.

 

     What makes me the most happy is that Michelle is a real person.  Down to earth, happy to hear from you and take your order.  It is easy for you to call in make and order and ask the questions you need to.  No impersonal machines or answer service here.  Michelle is warm bubbly and makes you feel like your talking to an old friend.

 

     I have to recommend ordering and visiting Michelle's of New York. This is going to be my monthly spot to hit to get my manicure and pedicure hooked up.  You can be the price or the comfort.  So everyone should come on over to Michelle's of New York.

 

 

MICHELLE’S OF NEW YORK PLUS SIZES
79A Carleton Avenue, Islip Terrace, NY 11752
631-277-3362

 

www.michellesofnewyork.com

 

PEPPERMINT PAMPERING PLEASURE!
Treat yourself to a rejuvenating PEPPERMINT manicure/hand massage and/or pedicure/foot massage!  Throughout the month of December, Michelle's of New York Plus Sizes welcomes Millie, a professional nail technician from a local salon/spa who is offering reduced price spa manicures and pedicures right here at Michelle's! 

Manicure: $10, Pedicure $16 OR dare to do the double for only $22!   Time slots will fill up fast. Call Michelle at 631-277-3362 or email michellesofny@aol.com to schedule your appointment.

 

Raqui

 

Interview with Michelle of Michelle's of New York

 

LargeInCharge.com: What is your name?

Michelle's of New York:  Michelle Wicks

LargeInCharge.com: Where are you from and what is your current Location?

Michelle's of New York:  I am from Long Island New York and have always resided here. I currently live in the town of Central Islip.


LargeInCharge.com: Do you consider yourself a BBW or a SSBBW?

Michelle's of New York:  I am a size 18/20 BBW.


LargeInCharge.com: Who is the owner of you company?

Michelle's of New York:  I am the sole owner of Michelle's of New York.


LargeInCharge.com: Tell us about your company?

Michelle's of New York:  Michelle's of New York is a women's plus size clothing boutique located at 79A Carleton Avenue, in Islip Terrace, New York. It's on the South Shore of Long Island, in Central Suffolk.

We carry women's plus sizes 14-34 from young and funky to mature and classic.

The 1,000 square ft. storefront is small and quaint. The shop was designed to have the look and feel of an upscale Manhattan boutique. The feminine Victorian decor presents a beautiful shopping environment. Personalized shopping and wardrobe consulting are an important part of what is offered at Michelle's. Each and every customer is important, and I welcome everyone as if they were in my own home.




LargeInCharge.com: How did your company begin?

Michelle's of New York:  My background is in retail management. My most recent position was manager of a well known womens clothing store. That store closed in April of 2003, leaving me unemployed. It was the perfect time to pursue my dream of being an entrepreneur. So, the planning began, and in April of 2004, the doors to Michelle's of New York were opened!



LargeInCharge.com: How did your company get its name?

Michelle's of New York:  When thinking of a name for the business, I had many different ideas. I kept a list. My friends and family were thinking too. But nothing struck me. I knew when it was the right name, I would know. I knew one thing for sure: I was opposed to having my name "Michelle" in the business name! HA! ;) But, one day, the name "Michelle's of New York" just popped into my head. I knew right away it was the right name.



LargeInCharge.com: Does your company have a motto or slogan; and what does it mean?

Michelle's of New York:  Sometimes I use: "For those of you with more to love...we've got you covered!"



LargeInCharge.com: How long have you been in business?

Michelle's of New York:  A year and a half...Since April 1, 2004.



LargeInCharge.com: Tell us about your clothing products?

Michelle's of New York:  For the most part, I try to stock a variety of items and offer a wide range to appeal to different styles. You can find many styles from young and funky to mature and classic at Michelle's of New York.

I carry some popular Plus Size clothing lines such as Igigi and Kiyonna. These clothing lines represent the sexy side of plus size. They are cut to show off curves! I love them and are happy to have them in my shop.

For casual, you can find basic jeans, tee's, and sweat suits. For funky and sexy, there's the above mentioned Igigi and Kiyonna lines. Sometimes you may find the Size Appeal brand too.

If you are going to a special event, I have skirt sets, pantsuits, and dresses for all occasions, even fancy beaded gowns for mother-of-the bride.

We also have a nice lingerie department. Many women love the sexy lingerie. I sell lots of pretty chemises and robes. We have some "spice it up" items too, such as body paints, and love lotions.




LargeInCharge.com: What made you decide to make/sell big clothing?

Michelle's of New York:  Being a plus size woman, I always felt limited to what was out there. I would shop by catalog a lot, and when I found something I liked, I would buy it in all colors available, or in duplicate. Finding clothing that suited my style was difficult. I wanted to offer something a bit different...I wanted to offer more choice.



LargeInCharge.com: Who designs the clothing you sell?

Michelle's of New York:  I purchase from several clothing companies. Igigi, Kiyonna, Just My Size, Size Appeal, RM Richards, and quite a few others.



LargeInCharge.com: Are you currently looking for new designers?

Michelle's of New York:  YES! I am always open to view fashions from new designers or companies!



LargeInCharge.com: What is the size range on your clothing and do you custom?

Michelle's of New York:  Occasionally, items are offered in size 12, and I do have some beaded gowns up to 10x, but the bulk of what I offer is in sizes 14-34.



LargeInCharge.com: Does you company do Fashion shows, if so where?

Michelle's of New York:  ABSOLUTELY! I participate in many local fundraiser fashion shows. I also coordinate a "Funky Fashion Show" which is sponsored by Michelle's of New York. I showcase the young and funky styles at this particular show. We hold it in a local sportbar. Dance music for the runway compliments the clubwear and sexy lingerie perfectly! The models are REAL size voluptuous babes. We don't hire professional models for these shows...all modeling is done on a volunteer basis. Most gals are customers, and have an absolute blast modeling!

I have also participated in "Dangerous Curves...The Tour!" which was held in June 2004 in SOHO Manhattan. I was honored to be part of this event. 10 outfits from Michelle's of New York were showcased.




LargeInCharge.com: Do you have a website and a hardcopy catalogs; how do we obtain a hard copy catalog?

Michelle's of New York:  I do have a website at www.michellesofnewyork.com Phone and mail orders are accepted, and we mail anywhere within the United States.

A hard copy catalog is not available. If we do offer one in the future, we would send it to those on our mailing list. If you would like to be on the Michelle's of New York mailing list, please visit www.michellesofnewyork.com to sign up.

LargeInCharge.com: Tell us about your latest fashions and any up & coming products?

The new Igigi line for Fall is outstanding! I saw a preview, and watch out!!!! Talk about SEXY! I can't wait for them to arrive!




LargeInCharge.com: Overall, What are your best sellers?

Michelle's of New York:  Some of the best sellers and favorites here have been sexy, cleavage accentuating tops from Igigi such as the Cut Out Top and Lace-Up Top.

The Kiyonna 3/4 sleeve Sweet -Tee has been a hit too! It's adorable!



LargeInCharge.com: Has your company or clothing ever been showcased on Television or in Print?

Michelle's of New York:  YES!

Print: I have been interviewed for Long Island Newsday, USA Today, and the local Yankee Trader and Islip Neighbor publications.

Online: I am happy to be interviewed for Large In Charge! :) I have also been showcased in the online Bombshell Magazine and on the Figure Magazine " Figure Finds" section.

We will also have some of our clothing showcased in an upcoming online issue of AMAZE Magazine!

TV: I was showcased on a local TV program "Long Island with Alicia."




LargeInCharge.com: Do you feel the fashion industry is doing a good job providing quality clothing for Big Women?

Michelle's of New York:  I think the plus size fashion industry has come a long way from where it was even 10 years ago. I am so happy that there are more choices for us! I think it will get even better for us in the future.

One problem that I see is that many of the new plus size designers are offering their items at exorbitant prices. I am not happy with this, and desire to see more affordable clothing lines from plus size designers.




LargeInCharge.com: What are the ordering options that customers have?

Michelle's of New York:  In addition to in store purchasing, we accept phone and mail order. As mentioned before, we can ship anywhere within the United States. We accept Visa, Mastercard, American Express, and Discover.



LargeInCharge.com: How long does it take for a purchase to be received?

Michelle's of New York:  Approximately 2 weeks



LargeInCharge.com: What are your refund options?

Michelle's of New York:  If you are not happy with your purchase, you have 2 weeks from the time you receive it for exchange or refund. Items that have been worn or altered cannot be returned. All returned items need to be accompanied by original sales receipt and have all original tags attached.



LargeInCharge.com: How do you find your models?

Michelle's of New York:  Most are customers at Michelle's of New York. Others have contacted me when they hear we are having a fashion show, and want to be part of it.



LargeInCharge.com: How can someone apply to be a model for your website or catalog?

Michelle's of New York:  Just send me an email at MICHELLESofNY@aol.com and I can add you to the call list. If we are in need of models, we can give you a call when we are having a show to see if you would like to participate. All modeling is done on a volunteer basis, and just for the fun of it! ;)

You can also register for our email list at
www.michellesofnewyork.com to be informed of upcoming fashion shows.



LargeInCharge.com: What qualifications do you look for when choosing a model?

Michelle's of New York:  The most important qualification is that they are a good representation of plus size with curves. We do not choose smaller models and pin clothing to fit them like we see in so many plus size clothing catalogs. We use REAL size women. Projecting confidence is very important as well.



LargeInCharge.com: Who does the photography on your website?

Michelle's of New York:  I took some of the pics on the website with my digital camera. Others are graphics that I am entitled to use as a carrier of certain clothing lines.



LargeInCharge.com: Did you construct the website with the release of your clothing or did it come after?

Michelle's of New York:  I opened my storefront first. After a few months of being in business, I added the website as a showcase of the store. We are working on updating and adding a shopping cart! I am excited about this, but know it takes time, so I am trying to be patient. ;) Those on our email list will receive notification when the shopping cart is added, so sign up today! www.michellesofnewyork.com


LargeInCharge.com: Was the site it an automatic success or did it take time to kick off?

Michelle's of New York:  I did see a pretty good response when the website was first built. Being new in business, I can tell you that it takes time to build up though. Getting the word out is a lot of work. The more you put it out there, the more response you get.


LargeInCharge.com: Name some designers and companies you admire?

Michelle's of New York:  I like IGIGI. To me, they are set apart from all the rest. I have never worn such flattering, sexy clothing in my life. I love their clothing line, and think it is the best thing to ever happen to plus size fashion. They know what to accentuate, and how to accentuate it. When I wear Igigi, I feel sexy and confident.

Another to keep an eye on is Zaftique. They have a new look and WOW, how cute!




LargeInCharge.com: What are the most important elements to running a successful Online Clothing Company...quality; comfort...what is important/ what is not?

Michelle's of New York:  As far as our website and mail ordering items, the most important factor seems to be talking to the customers who call up and ask questions regarding the sizing and style of particular garments. They know it's hard to just order without trying on, especially when there is so much variation in size and fit. We all know that every designer and brand runs different from the next. I have helped many in letting them know how a particular item sizing runs. Also, based on how they describe their shape, what may look best on them. Dropping items into a shopping cart is one thing, but hearing the plus size lady on the other end of the phone tell you what is HOT, what's not, and how sizing runs seem to be priceless for the phone order/mail order customers.



LargeInCharge.com: Do you feel people of size have made progress in the last 10 years, do you think the internet is part of that progress?

Michelle's of New York:  YES! I am so happy with all that is out there now for people of size. The internet seems to have brought many together as a community. There are websites, reference sites, message boards, chat rooms, online stores, support groups, event listings, etc, etc, etc! Who knew there were so many looking to find support and friendship with those just like us!



LargeInCharge.com: How has the internet helped your business?

Michelle's of New York:  Locally, for those who have seen my print advertisements, being able to visit the website lets them find directions, see pictures of the store, and view the types of fashions I carry. The internet has also enabled me to reach beyond my local market to other parts of the United States by phone and mail order. If it's a slow shopping day here due to weather or local events, internet orders help me meet sales goals. The internet has also connected me to the plus size community. It has brought together so many wonderful people with whom I share a special bond with: the bond of being plus size. This has opened the doors to wonderful opportunities, such as being part of Dangerous Curves...The Tour, and being interviewed by Large In Charge. :) Without the internet, these opportunities most likely would not have been presented to me.



LargeInCharge.com: What can the readers at LargeInCharge do to help support your business?

Michelle's of New York:  Stop in when you are in New York! If you are not in the area (and even if you are) sign up for our email list! That way we can keep you posted on upcoming sales or events. If you know of any fashion shows or plus size events, please let me know! Maybe I can get involved...And please pass the word! Tell all the plus size Diva's you know about Michelle's of New York! :D

But most of all, it's important that we help support each other. Life's not about being thin!!!! Please love yourself, no matter what your size. Embrace who you are, and take care of yourself. Our size is just a small part of who we are. If we put that into perspective, we can lead much happier lives!

Thank you Large In Charge for what you do, and for letting me be a part of your wonderful website!

 

Thank you Michelle for creating a place for Big Women to find the clothing they need and the pampering they deserve. BIG HUGS TO YOU and many well wishes for your establishment.  Raqui

 

Hope you enjoyed Our Feature this month please send comments to:  Raqui: raqui@largeincharge.com

Raqui's Spot

Raqui's Spot

From a Female's Point of View

This month's subject:

What to get a BBW/SSBBW/BHM for the holidays?

Email Raqui:  raqui@largeincharge.com

Now you can check out Raqui's Blog with reviews and recommendations for places to go. As she travels she will give you the info on what is best for Big Sized people.  Plus you can take a quick view of her life!  She has also been giving the info. on internet bullshit!  And Bullshit in General.

Raqui's Yahoo 360 Page - with Recommendations

Raqui's BlogSpot Page - Hear it like you like it

Raqui's My Space Page - Step Into My World!

 

What to get a BBW/SSBBW/BHM for the holidays?

     Gift giving can be so hard.  Especially if you are giving a person of size a gift.  Normally clothing is number one with gift givers.  But people of size need to find items that fit them properly and often if you return the items you don't get a full refund.  I asked many LargeSized people what would they like to get as Presents, this is the season for giving and I got some great responses.  I got all the do's and don'ts from Big Men and women themselves.

 

So here is the Count down for what most Plus Sized people want and DO NOT WANT.

Do's Don'ts
1.  Gift Cards - People seem to think this is impersonal but Gift Cards to places that a person loves to shop came in at Number One.

2.   Electronics - With all the sales get something digital, that beeps or does something cool.

3.   Music - CD's are a easy gift for any music fan.

4.   Gift Baskets - Candles, body wash, lotions etc. Are a gift that anyone can appreciate.

5.   Candy -  Candy, cookies and food items that are holiday treats are great.  But do not buy fruit cake unless the person says they like it. 

6.  Perfume/Cologne - Don't buy just any kind, try to find the persons favorite scent or something they want to get. If a person never wears perfume they might be allergic so be careful.

7.   Books - For both Male and Females books or gift cards to a online or offline book shop are a big plus.

8.   Movies - Just like music, movies are a great source of entertainment.

9.  Money - you cant go wrong with cash.

10. Flowers - I can agree flowers are great especially a big delivered show piece.

1.  Clothes - Unless you are absolutely sure of the size, cut, color, design, taste that the person wants.  DO NOT BUY THEM CLOTHES. Especially sweaters with big dancing cats, pigs or Santa on them.

2.   Bears - I hear that most Large people have enough stuff animals to create a toy company. No stuff animals, unless it is a special favorite character.

3.   Food Clubs - Fruit or Nut of the month clubs delivered to your door.  JUST DON'T DO IT.

4.   Perfume/Cologne - Unless you know their favorite scent.

5.   Shoes - No one knows the proper fit except the person who is wearing them.

6.   Knick Knacks - Just like Bears, we have enough of them.

7.   Pets - Do not buy animals for anyone.  You don't know if they want the commitment.

8.   Plastic plants - I have no idea why someone would but they are giving plastic plants.

9.   Food - The type you have to cook to prepare. If your giving food it better come cooked.

10.  Stupid Cards - Stupid cards are just that stupid.

Raqui's Picks for Gift Giving

1.   Gift Cards - If your going to give clothing they are the best way to do it.  If you don't want it to seem impersonal include the card with a cute gift basket.

2.   Jewelry - Simple cool everyday jewelry and bracelets are not very expensive and really make someone feel special.

3.   MP3 player - of your friend loves music and downloads songs. A MP3 player is a great gift.  They have some really great ones for a good price

4.  Movie Tickets - Get some movie ticket coupons that entitles your friend to free movies at a theater.

5.  Salon Certificates- A nice manicure/pedicure or massage spa package at a size friendly establishment is a great gift.

6.  Personal Products - great gift ideas are personal products... especially for women. Machines that help you do your own at home, manicures, pedicure, heated wax etc.  Are cool products to give someone.

7.  Restaurant Certificates -  You cant lose when you treat your friend to a dinner at there favorite restaurant. They can use it whenever they are craving some good food.

8.  Home Products - Things that make your home smell great.  Oil burners, potpourri and liquid simmers are things that anyone can use and help to keep there home smelling like roses... or anything other scent they like.

9.  Subscription -  to their favorite magazine is a goodgift.  Even a years subscription to a service like www.Netflix.com  if they like movies or  www.gamefly.com if they love video games.

10.  How about some VIP Tickets to a BBW BHM PARTY.  If you speak with any Party promoter I am sure they would print up something really cool for you and you can pay for there entrance in advance.  A good way to get them out.

 
 

Thank you for Reading Raqui's Spot!

Would you like to give your comments?

Email Raqui:  raqui@largeincharge.com

Jay's Spot

Jay's Spot

From a Male point of view.

BBW History 101...  Where did it all begin?

jay@largeincharge.com

 

 

BBW History 101...  Where did it all begin?

 

Get to know Dimensions Magazine!

     So, me and Raq was talking one day, comparing notes about the overall view of everything we were learning about the BBW Scene. We were trying to describe the full picture of everything that we experienced, such as the tours to all the Big Girl Clubs, the bashes, the fashion shows, the beauty pageants, the empowerment lectures, the community drives, the big girl music, the websites….and we came up with the words….THE BIG WORLD. We kinda liked the way it sounds, and then we decided….that’s our new word…our creation… “THE BIG WORLD”.

     We had heard of the slogans…BBW, SSBBW, BHM, SSBHM, FA, FFA….so while attempting to sum it all up, we considered the entire scene to be an underground community (other than the typical People of Size Community) because we felt we saw things differently from how the norm sees it. Plus were from The Bronx, where no one was acknowledging our niche….the BBW / BHM Street Scene. We got our own style in New York City but no one was representing or even bringing it to the light that it even exists. This made me curious to know where the words (BBW / FA) came from and how the whole People of Size scene began. Where did it all start? And who are the pioneers? I had always heard stories about the Big Girl Night Clubs starting in New York City, but is this true? and if so, where did they themselves get the idea from? The party scene is my personal interest but THE BIG WORLD involves a huge planet of activities and components that have specific history within itself. For instance, I have seen certain new elements pop up on the internet that no one had done before…. and then all of a sudden…its everywhere…like BBW Links, photo chicks, message boards, egroups, art galleries, music lyrics, personals, interviews, and even blogs… weren’t always around. They all have history as to who came on the scene with them first and who did it better than the rest of them!

     I conclude that Dimensions Online Magazine is that one site that I can personally say has pioneered many of the hottest trends in THE BIG WORLD.

     In all honesty, it has been an excellent resource for me since day one, even before LargeInCharge.com kicked off…. I was checking Dimensions Magazine on a regular to see who’s who and what’s what! As an online magazine co owner of LargeInCharge.com, Dimensions to me is like the library of all libraries in THE BIG WORLD….the archives, creativity, community feedback, massive traffic, and basically the fact that it has so much more material and history than any other site online (in THE BIG WORLD)…makes it the one place that has inspired me to continue my dreams of producing the ultimate People of Size Street Magazine….It’s the one place that has pioneered many elements in BBW History….Get to know Dimensions Magazine!

Interview with Conrad of Dimensions Magazine


Jay of L.I.C: State you name?
 

Conrad H. Blickenstorfer

Jay of L.I.C: Where were you born? Where were you raised?
 

Conrad: I was born and raised in Switzerland, the German part. Moved to the United States on a scholarship in 1977 and became a US citizen in 1986.

Jay of L.I.C: Where are you currently based?
 

Conrad: In the Sacramento, California, area. Sacramento was actually founded by a Swiss, John Sutter, so in addition to truly considering California the "Golden State," I also feel part of my heritage here. After all, Sutter called his empire "Little Helvetia" (Little Switzerland).

Jay of L.I.C: When did your company began? when did the website begin?
 

Conrad: Dimensions originally started as the "FA-SIG," the "Fat Admirer Special Interest Group" of NAAFA, the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance. I ran the SIG, published its 24-page photocopied newsletter, did FA workshops at regional and national NAAFA conventions and so on. The publication grew and became more sophisticated, and I renamed it "Dimensions" in the late 1980s. It split from NAAFA in 1989 or so and I ran it as a business friendly and financially supportive to NAAFA.

Jay of L.I.C: Are you the founder?
 

Conrad: I was the original coordinator of the FA-SIG, and eventually organized Dimensions as a separate company, so yes, I am the founder.

Jay of L.I.C: Who came up with the name? Why did you name it that?
 

Conrad: We actually had a contest among readers. A lot of cool (and
not-so-cool) names were suggested. I liked "Dimensions" because it implies size, a different way of looking at things, and just generally captured what I was trying to accomplish.


Jay of L.I.C: Do you consider yourself to be a pioneer? and if so, how does it feel to be called one?
 

Conrad: Well, my idea, from the start, was to create something that would bring together two disenfranchised groups, men who preferred fat women, and the women they admired. Both groups suffered. The women for obvious reasons. Many felt unattractive, unworthy, and unhappy. Many had gone through horrible experiences, and had lost their faith in both themselves and other people. The FAs--Fat Admirers--had grown up to discover within themselves a perference that was different from that of their peers. Many did not know what to make of it. They felt weird, perverted even, and many got a lot of crap from their friends and families if they came out of the closet.


With the FA-SIG and then Dimensions, I wanted to bring those two groups together, help them understand each other, open dialog and discussion.


Both sides had much to learn, and there was a lot of mistrust. I think Dimensions has been quite successful at putting issues on the table, foster discussion, and bring many people together.
Am I a pioneer? Perhaps. While NAAFA was always both a political and a social organization, it was, and is, really dominated by fat women. Men were generally viewed with some suspicion, especially FAs. And exploring the fantasy world that we all have was totally taboo. I opened that up for discussion. We all have fantasies. They are nothing to be ashamed of or to run away from, screaming.


Jay of L.I.C: Who built your site?
 

Conrad: We started very early. Dimensions was probably among the very first size-related sites on the web, going back to 1995. That's only ten years, but back then, most people had never even heard of the web. I built most of it myself. In 1997 I noticed wonderful site called bbwqt.com. It was shut down several time and so I offered the woman who ran it sanctuary on my server. Eventually I hired her and we merged bbwqt and Dimensions.
 

Dani was my webmaster for several years and some of her terrific work is still on the site.

Jay of L.I.C: Why did you choose to target People of Size?
 

Conrad: I never "targeted" people of size. As a FA, the size acceptance movement is my life. It is who I am, and it is my community and my people.

Jay of L.I.C: Is it true that your mag mainly started for FA's? Why was that?
 

Conrad: As described above, Dimensions's start was the FA-SIG within NAAFA. The idea actually came from two fat NAAFA women, Nancy Summer and Liz Williams. Both felt FAs within NAAFA needed their own space.
 

Initially, many suggested the FA-SIG should be men-only. I always felt it should be open to both genders, and that is how I always ran it.

Jay of L.I.C: Tell us some of the departments that your site contains?
 

Conrad: Oh, dimensionsmagazine.com is gigantic. It literally has thousands of pages. It also grew organically, and so there are parts that go way back to the beginning and have almost been forgotten, but they are still online.
 

Overall, the main parts these days are the forums, chat, a store, a library, a dating/matching system, a news section, and the Weight Room. I am proud that the whole site remains completely non-commercial. No pop-ups, no obnoxious banners and ads, no dubious links and such.
Dimensions is an island in and to itself.


Jay of L.I.C: What was your site like when it began vs now?
 

Conrad: Initially the site was just a few pages. Mainly playful stuff and reprints of columns, fashions, stories and features from the print magazine. Over the years the site grew dramatically. The bulletin boards accumulated several million posts. Thousands are registered to the matching system. The Dimensions streaming chat system is a 24/7 party that is always active. In the beginning it was just a lot of experimenting and trying out new things and new software. It was all brand-new then, and the site really just an adjunct to the print magazine, that had grown to a glossy 64-page color publication by the mid 1990s.

Jay of L.I.C: Can you give us any history as to when and where did the BBW Club scene began? the empowerment movement? and which came first?
 

Conrad: Size acceptance--empowerment--came first. NAAFA was founded in
1969 by William J. Fabrey, a young engineer and lifelong FA. The term BBW (and Big Beautiful Woman) originated with Carole Shaw, who started publishing BBW Magazine in 1979.


Jay of L.I.C: Do you attend any of the BBW Bashes? Which ones?
 

Conrad: I don't attend any. Over the 25 years that I was part of NAAFA, I attended many national and regional conventions, and at times some local events.

Jay of L.I.C: How do you feel about the growth and expansion of BBW Night Clubs and Bashes? and the growth of the empowerment movement?
 

Conrad: I always felt that private enterprise should handle the social aspects of the size acceptance movement. When NAAFA was founded, there were no social affairs. There wasn't anything social for fat people and their admirers. Hence, NAAFA stepped in and performed this public benefit, and to "prime the pump." Soon, private individuals and groups began organizing parties, and many have now grown into well-run businesses. That is the way it was planned and the way it should be.

Jay of L.I.C: Does / Has your magazine ever produce events? if so do you have any future events coming up?
 

Conrad: Dimensions has never done events. I just don't have the time. It's often been suggested, and we often talked about it. I mean, think of it:
Dimensions bashes! It may happen, or it may not.


Jay of L.I.C: How do you feel about the growth of Big World websites overall?
 

Conrad: Big World websites? I suppose you mean size acceptance-related sites. I feel very good about them. When I was a young FA, there was NOTHING. I was alone. And many fat people grew up alone. All these sites are wonderful as they answer questions, offer information and community, and whatever else people seek.

Jay of L.I.C: If you had to pick the most interesting things about your site (and this business) that you enjoy…what would it be?
 

Conrad: The sense of community that Dimensions fosters. Since dimensionsmagazine.com has been here for such a long time, and since we have this history of almost 90 issues of the Dimensions print magazine, Dimensions has a continuity that almost no one else has. So people come to Dimensions to hang out, talk, meet, share their lives and thoughts and ideas. And a surprising number meet at Dimensions and then in real life, and then get married. Imagine that!

Jay of L.I.C: Name some of the things that your site has pioneered or was the first to do in The Big World?
 

Conrad: Well, being one of the first sites on the web, we pioneered a lot that is now taken for granted. We had live webcams ten years ago. We had forum software when no one else had. Almost all of our sections, software, ideas were widely copied on other sites. Fine with me.


Jay of L.I.C: Do you consider your site as the Top BBW site in The Big World?
 

Conrad: Oh no. Dimensions is not a commercial enterprise, not anymore.
It's a community. I never advertise Dimensions anywhere, we don't have cross-links or anything else. At some point Dimensions was probably the largest size-related site, but now there are many commercial sites that are much larger. Dimensions is simply a community, financed largely by myself and some of my other ventures.


Jay of L.I.C: Tell us about your hard copy experience? and will it ever come back?
 

Conrad: I really miss the hard copy magazine. We did a total of 88 print issues of Dimensions and had a high of over 5,000 paid subscribers, which is a lot. But doing print is hugely expensive, and we never very actively pursued newsstand distribution. I look at our back issues, and I must sy they were terrific and totally unique (we still have copies of almost all of them, and they are available through the Dimensions store). However, the print pub is not dead. I consider it in hiatus. If I win the lottery (or hit it big some other way), the print mag will definitely be back.

Jay of L.I.C: What other Big World Businesses do you have or is your site your main and only focus?
 

Conrad: Dimensions is it. It is such a huge site that I could spend all my time on it, but I do have to do some real work that actually pays my bills.

Jay of L.I.C: Who are some of your idles in the Big World? Idols?
 

Conrad: Well, politically we owe it all, everything, to William Jackson Fabrey. Without him, we may not have any of this. Size acceptance may still have a long way to go, and discrimination against fat people is alive and well. But it would be much worse without some of those pioneers.
So people like Bill Fabrey and his co-founders are my heroes.


Jay of L.I.C: Are you the first to begin posting international links?
 

Conrad: Links? Hehe... We gave up on links a long time ago. There was an area where Dimensions' LinkMania, a list of the 500 top large-size sites, was the ultimate authority. Remember, it was not that long a ago that the web had just two site lists. One, the better and large one, was run by a guy named John December, a student at my alma mater, Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute. The other was some yahoo outfit named, well, yahoo.com. Yes, we began linking to size acceptance groups, both political and social, across the globe early. It is not an active project today.

Jay of L.I.C: What hasn't your site done that you would someday like to do?
 

Conrad: Dimensions has unlimited potential. As is, it is completely bandwidth-limited and non-commercial. It could be scaled massively of I'd have the time or resources. I think Dimensions' special mix between social responsibility and full appreciation of large beauty is unique.

Jay of L.I.C: In my personal opinion, your site has been the most resourceful.  You always have had the best "BBW Events Section" online. Your bash info was a little behind most of this year but now I notice it has been revamped.
 

Question: Is it very hard to keep up with so much being that Dimensions covers so many areas? if so, why?
 

Conrad: At some point we had a very good Events section, run by a very talented fat woman who also was a Dimensions model (and cover girl) not once, but twice. She then got sidetracked, but we're now resurrecting the events/communities section in our new forum system that has been very well received.  And yes, it's hard to keep up with so much, and with such a large site.


Keep in mind, though, that more traffic is really not a current goal as we're totally bandwidth limited. Our servers are located in my publishing offices, in the same building as an ISP. They told me that Dimensions alone takes up as much bandwidth as 400 other sites they host. One time they decided to see how much bandwidth Dimensions would consume if they removed the limits. The answer: all of what they have.


Jay of L.I.C: In my personal opinion, your site is the only site that has
(both) the biggest Empowerment following and the biggest "BBW Photo Chicks" following, is this true?
 

Conrad: Dimensions has always had both a male and a female following.  When we did the print magazine, subscribers were always about 50/50. I think that is terrific and hope it will always stay that way.

Jay of L.I.C: and if so, being that most sites are either one or the other...how did this come about?
 

Conrad: It came because I felt from the beginning that the two groups, fat admirers and the people they admire, needed to come together. And that is how I structured both the magazine and the site.

Jay of L.I.C: If its true that your company started in 1983 (22 years ago), what other companies or sites were around at that time?


Conrad: As stated above, the FA-SIG started in 1983, Dimensions about five years later. There was almost nothing else around. Alice Ansfield started her Radiance for fat women the same time I began publishing the FA-SIG, and Dimensions and Radiance grew and developed at about the same pace. I also admired her, and was a donor and supporter of Radiance. Carole Shaw, of course, did BBW Magazine, which I eventually bought, including the trademarks, in 1998 (we published BBW Magazine from 1999 to 2003).

Jay of L.I.C: My most favorite 3 sections of your mag is the events section, the links section and the message boards. If you had to pick your most favorite 3 departments, which 3 would you choose?
 

Conrad: The forums, chat, and the stories section. Those are by far the largest. There are thousands of posts every week, chat is a 24/7 party, and we have almost 1,500 stories in our library.

Jay of L.I.C: Personal Question: I notice you were one of the first to give a voice to many controversial topics. In your opinion, What do you feel is the most misunderstood thing about Feedees and Feeders?
 

Conrad: Yes, this really ticks me off. Dimensions has, among other things, stood for what I call "Freedom of Fantasy" from the very start. As far as I am concerned, everyone has sexual fantasies, and as long as they are safe, sane and consensual, they are absolutely no one's business except that of the people involved. Weight gain fantasies so happen to be a core fantasy of many FA’s and, amazingly, also of a number of fat people. I always offered Dimensions as an open forum for any such discussion, BOTH PRO AND CON. Yet, some people are under the mistaken impression that whatever is discussed in Dimensions is my personal opinion. Not so. Yet I have been labeled, libeled and slandered in numerous ways because of it.
There are some awfully prejudiced chicken littles out there.


Jay of L.I.C: How do you feel about the ever growing (very serious) Bypass Surgery topic?
 

Conrad: It is most unfortunate, and I am very much against WLS. It is simply too experimental and too unsafe. Yet, I am equally disturbed that no one has yet come up with an alternate answer to the very real plight of very fat people who have run out of options. Not AAFA, not anyone.

Jay of L.I.C: How do you feel about Airlines over charging for tickets issue?
 

Conrad: Totally unacceptable, mercenary, and un-American.

Jay of L.I.C: How do you feel about People of Size being discriminated in the work place issue?
 

Conrad: Everyone has an equal right to pursue his or her dreams. Workplace discrimination is thus unacceptable. It is a sensitive social issue of course, but really no different from other sensitive social issue where rational, implemental solutions have to be found.

Jay of L.I.C: How do you feel about the complaints that most hospitals are not size friendly?
 

Conrad: I've found that a lot of hospitals are actually fairly well equipped, and more so as time goes on. It's really a matter of how large a patient is. If someone is four standard deviations removed from the mean, some equipment may simply be unavailable. In think by and large, doctors and hospitals are becoming more sympathetic.

Jay of L.I.C: What are some of the best things that the empowerment movement has done for People of Size?
 

Conrad: Hard to say. As a 35-year-old movement, organized size acceptance has preciously little to show for its efforts. That is likely because so few fat people identify with it. If all fat people voted as a block, size discrimination would be wiped out in three years.


As is, size acceptance has brought awareness to a number of fat people, and that is good. It also fostered many social groups and numerous websites. So organized size acceptance probably succeeded as a catalyst, but failed as a movement.


Jay of L.I.C: Who invented these (Big World) Definitions (BBW, FA,SSBBW,BHM, FFA, SSBHM)? give us some history?
 

Conrad: "BBW" and "Big Beautiful Woman" started with Carol Shaw in 1979, and are actually trademarked terms which my company owns. They have entered the mainstream, and that is fine with me. I deeply resent that the porn industry has stolen the terms and dragged them down to nothing more than another fetish category. Fortunately, a large number of positive fat women are also using the term, counteracting the bad guys.
 

The other terms all sort of developed, most from within NAAFA. None are particularly good, and "FA" especially is a weak term that no one likes.
But it's been with us and no one has come up with a good replacement.


Jay of L.I.C: How do you feel about the negative press coverage that has been given to the Big Conrad: World in the past vs the media coverage of today (for Better of Worse)? do you think were heading in the direction of becoming mainstream, are we already mainstream? Or should we even care?
 

Conrad: As for the press, well, they do what they do. All we can do is being careful who we talk to. When talk shows were at their peak, I appeared on almost all of them, and the experience was largely positive.
But that was because I had a message and agenda. They really just want ratings. So if you take the lead instead of letting them exploit you, it's your game.


Jay of L.I.C: Advice:  Can you give any advice for People of Size who have low self esteem?
 

Conrad: Keep in mind that almost everyone at times suffers from low self esteem; you're not alone. And keep in mind that in order to have low self esteem, you're probably allowing others to make you feel that way. Once you realize that you are under no obligation to please someone else or look the way someone else feels you should look, you're halfway there to accepting yourself the way you are. If social approval is important to you, get involved in some of the many large size communities where YOU are admired and pursued, and not the skinny model types.

Jay of L.I.C: Can you give any advice for women who are constantly stalked (on and off line) and don't know what to do?
 

Conrad: That depends on the situation. By and large, totally ignore stalkers. Don't read their emails, don't respond to anything. They'll get bored.

Jay of L.I.C: In my personal opinion, being that LargeInCharge.com tours to several BBW Events and Night Clubs, we feel we cover a lot of ground. We find that some Big World Party Promoters tend to not like one another. We understand that business is competitive but strongly stress that as reporters "We Remain Neutral" in this game! Even though...  negative feedback tends to rub off on some party goers and it gets ugly sometimes. Can you give any positive advice to Big World Party People and Promoters who sometimes don't see "The Big (Unity) Picture"?
 

Conrad: Well, I can see the business angle, and I've heard many sad stories of business owners who claim they were taken advantage of. Me, I believe in a policy of friendly competition. There is still plenty of room in the large size events planning field, it's not overcrowded. So I'd much rather see groups cooperate and work with one another. After all, we're all in this together. The real enemy is out there. It's the diet hucksters, the thin-obsessed media, fat-phobic employers and biased medical caretakers. So let's work together!

Jay of L.I.C: Can you give any advice to people you've inspired and are thinking about to entering the (People of Size) business?
 

Conrad: It's a business like any other. You need to believe in what you're doing and you need to create and sell a good product.

Jay of L.I.C: Can you give any advice to Newbies who have never been to a BBW Bash but get the wrong impression about Bashes and are afraid to attend due to negative false rumors about what they have heard (from the grapevine)?
 

Conrad: The advice is simply to go out there and check things out for yourself. Most people are afraid of new things or taking a first step. Once you get over it and give it a chance, you may find a whole new world opening up to you. Be cautious the first time, but don't totally clam up.  Give people the benefit of the doubt. You just may have lots of fun and make great new friends.

Jay of L.I.C: I assume that you travel to several Big World events, what are some regional similarities and differences?
 

Conrad: I don't travel to such events. But I know many of the organizers.
It is wonderful to see how so many are doing a great job and really helping people.


Jay of L.I.C: Were you the first to showcase BBW Artist, and if so, who were some of the first pioneer artist in the game?
 

Conrad: Definitely among the first. Dimensions featured Ned Sonntag's art almost from the start. Over the years we also featured the work of some other great FA artists, such as Paul Delacroix and Les Toil.

Jay of L.I.C: Name a few new comers (artist) that you like?
 

Conrad: The above three are the titans of BBW art, no doubt about it.

Jay of L.I.C: Name a few of the pioneer "Fat Photo Chicks" that started in Dimensions?
 

Conrad: A good number of the leading fat beauties got their start in Dimensions. Their names are so well known by now that I don't need to list them all. :-)

Jay of L.I.C: Looking back on when I first came on the party scene (Goddesses, LargeEncounters first events...New York City) I see the changes in the crowds...the younger generation comes in and a lot of older faces come every once in awhile.What general changes have you seen that you would like to comment on?
 

Conrad: In the beginning, everything was very amateurish. The venues were often crummy and low rent, as if even the organizers did not believe fat people deserved any better. While we often had great fun in some of those modest places, it is great to see some of the truly classy events of today. I think NAAFA deserves kudos for that. NAAFA always felt that its conventions should be held in nice hotels with great facilities, because at least once a year its members deserved to be in a special place and be treated to the very best.

Jay of L.I.C: Personal "Jay's Spot" Question: I've come across many women who specialize in Plus Size Clothing. Has there ever been any other FA Tailors...or men fashion designers (who sew) that you know of? If so, who?
 

Conrad: You're asking the wrong person. I know nothing of fashion and always left that to my good friend Sandie Sabo-Russo who was responsible for the Dimensions fashion section for many years and also helped me with BBW Magazine.

Jay of L.I.C: In your column...http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/Editors_Corner/… you wrote...."I am a car guy and subscribe to many car magazines"... Name your Top 3 most favorite cars (and colors)?
 

Conrad: I like modified cars and far prefer them to anything that comes out of a showroom. Earlier in my life I had my share of the usual automotive toys (BMW, Porsche, Mercedes Benz, Lincoln, etc.), but I am past that. Today I love the very cars I have: a supercharged black Acura RSX Type-S and a modified dark plum-pearl turbo Chrysler PT Cruiser. If money were no object, I would love to import and own one of the Japanese supercars, like a Nissan Skyline.

Jay of L.I.C: and your Top 3 Car Magazines?
 

Conrad: Road & Track, Automobile Magazine, and Sport Compact Car.

Jay of L.I.C: You also wrote..."The original mission of NAAFA remains as valid as it was back in 1969 when a man to whom I still look up to founded it in New York".....Who was this man? Tell us about him?
 

Conrad: That was William Jackson Fabrey whom I mentioned above, a truly extraordinary man and individual.

Jay of L.I.C: Does Dimensions sell any products?
 

Conrad: At some point Dimensions was a profitable publishing business with revenue from subscriptions, distribution, back issues, and advertising.
 

Today, we still sell back issues, videos, and some related items. We also accept donations on a voluntary basis (the entire Dimensions site is completely free).

Jay of L.I.C: Where do you see Dimensions going in the near future?
 

Conrad: I value continuity, and so Dimensions will be around for a long time. In the near term, I'll do what I've always done, continually improve and update the site.

Jay of L.I.C: Long Term?
 

Conrad: It would be nice to publish the print magazine again. And it would be nice to have enough time and resources to scale the Dimensions site into a much larger community.

Jay of L.I.C: How do you define success?
 

Conrad:  Being able to combine your work with your passions. I have been fortunate in that respect.

Jay of L.I.C: How do you like our LargeInCharge Magazine?
 

Conrad: Unfortunately, I am not as familiar with it as I should be.

Jay of L.I.C: What can our readers do to help support your magazine?
 

Conrad:  Stop by and get to know Dimensions at www.dimensionsmagazine.com



Jay of L.I.C: Readers Questions:  What can you say your websites contributes most to the Big People movement?
 

Conrad:  I'd say Dimensions' unique angle is that it's a social site with a conscience. Dimensions celebrates the large figure but also offers plenty of opportunity to discuss all angles and aspects. It's a large and very deep site, so there's something for everyone. The biggest contribution probably is that it helps fat people and their admirers understand each other better.

Jay of L.I.C: Readers Questions: Have you always been an advocate for the large ladies?
 

Conrad: I have always been attracted to large women, and I have always been outraged at size discrimination.

Jay of L.I.C: Readers Questions: What inspired you start Dimensions magazine?
 

Conrad: Though my formal training is in architecture, I always had an interest in publishing. I also began pursuing computers early, before computer science was an actual science. So when Apple released the initial Macintosh and Laserwriter and Aldus made "desktop publishing" possible with Pagemaker, I was off and running. It simply made no sense to do a 24-page photocopied newsletter when those new tools made the production of a commercial magazine possible.

Jay of L.I.C: Readers Questions: How much time do you spend keeping your magazine site updated?
 

Conrad: I work on it pretty much every day. It soaks up whatever time I have.

Jay of L.I.C: Readers Questions: Do you consider yourself an FA?
 

Conrad: Most definitely. And I told the world about it on many TV shows.
That was a bit scary at first.


Jay of L.I.C: Readers Questions: What is your definition of a FA vs a True Fa?
 

Conrad: I'd say a true FA treats his lady with love, dignitiy and respect in real life and not just in his fantasies.

Jay of L.I.C: Readers Questions: When did you first realize you had a thing for Big Women?
 

Conrad: When I was perhaps six years old. I didn't understand it then, but it was always there.

Jay of L.I.C: Readers Questions: How do you pick the topics that will run on your site?
 

Conrad: I don't usually plan ahead much. Things just pop into my head, and then I do them.

Jay of L.I.C: Readers Questions: Would you consider your desire for the large lady a fetish?
 

Conrad: Not at all. It is simply a taste and preference.

Jay of L.I.C: Readers Questions: When did you notice there was a market for People of Size and what business steps did you take first?
 

Conrad: I didn't see it as a market. Volunteering to do the FA-SIG newsletter gave me pleasure and I felt I could help others understand themselves and the people they admired. Much later I hoped that there was indeed a market for continuing BBW Magazine. We tried for four years, but the advertising support simply wasn't there.

Jay of L.I.C: Readers Questions: How often do you update your site with new pictures, stories and support issues?
 

Conrad: Almost every day. In addition, the forums have several hundred new posts every day. There is always something new to see and read at Dimensions.

Jay of L.I.C: Readers Questions: How does an artist get featured on your site?
 

Conrad: By sending me a portfolio of artwork.

 
 

Thanks for reading Jay's Spot

jay@largeincharge.com

   Guest Spot

Large In Charge Guest Spot

We want to hear and see your talents!

 

One of our favorite parts of the newsletter.  The Guest Spot is for our readers to submit there talents to be viewed.  We want to see all you wonderful supporters making moves of your own.  If you write poetry, short stories, commentaries, or just thoughts in general, please submit them to us.  If your a designer we want to see pictures of your clothing.   We would love to include your talents in our newsletter.  We hope you take an active part in the L.I.C. newsletter.

NOTE: The Opinion of the writer is not always the opinion of The Large in Charge Staff.  We support the Right to all views.  We do not Condemn or Approve writing based on our personal thoughts.  We approve writing based on if the subject is a concern for the BBW / SSBBW / BHM Community.  Thank you for your writing and please send in those articles!  - The Large in Charge Staff

An entry from our Writing Contest

 

Size acceptance, What it means to me

by  T_Devil  06-04-2005


I’m fat. I say that about myself because I have no fear of the word. I’m a fat guy and I dig fat chicks. Fat is a description of the human body, it is not an insult. I could fire off more insults than you could imagine, not one of them has anything to do with size. Fat is not something to be afraid of. If you are... you are. If you are not, then you’re free.

So why is it a word so despised? Why is it when people face the word "fat" their skin crawls? I don’t know and I think it’s a damn shame it’s that way. We all know what the myths are, we’ve all had to deal with stereotypes in one way or another. It sucks, but we know it’s a part of life. Lot’s of things in life suck, so why is it for us that the simple act of living can be such a chore?

Is it because we have the media telling us how we ought to look.

Is it because of the diet industry that preys off of our insecurities and promises us health and happiness if only we buy their product?

Is it because of the fashion industry that makes nice clothes..... just not for us?

Yea, that can be it. But suppose we reject their notions of appearance. That looks are deceiving and it is our acts and personalities that make us the people that we are.

Suppose we told the diet industry that they will no longer terrorize us by manipulating our self esteem and that we say "no" to their get thin quick schemes and bogus diet plans.

Suppose we gave the fashion industry a financial middle finger by designing and marketing clothes only for us.

What then?

We still have the people that will pick at us and make fun of us and if we get upset in the very least we are told to "get a sense of humor". Like WE can’t take a joke or something. These people either do not realize that we’ve heard every fat joke out there and a new one isn’t gonna be funny, or they just don’t care. Either way, they’re gonna do it because they can. They simply are not creative enough to find something else to find humor in.

And if they did and there were no more people there to make light of our size....What then?

There are still the people that are repulsed and hate us. They will say and/or do anything to make us feel bad for the mere sake of making us feeling bad. I don’t have to tell you fine folks that this happens more than people like to think. They make rude comments, they want to hurt us.... and for what? So that they can feel better about their empty and meaningless lives? How do I know that their lives are empty and meaningless, Look at what they have to do to make themselves feel better. The degradation of another human being is (to me) empty and meaningless.

If society were to be more accepting of fat people, they would have nicer theater and air plane seats, more comfortable clothes and all around more durable furniture. Size acceptance is going to happen ladies and gentlemen, it has to. The population of America is getting fatter and fatter. In spite of everything that the media, that the fashion and diet industry, and the haters have done, the population is getting fatter.

Some people fight it tooth and nail. By "tooth and nail", I mean Anorexia and Bulimia. People will actually develop an eating disorder because of their fear of fatness. These are people so blinded by "societies ideal" that they are willing kill themselves slowly over it. This is truly the most hideous aspect of size intolerance. People are willing to have surgery to alter their bodily functions and structure so that they eat less food. Doctors are quick to point out that being overweight is a serious health risk. So is walking alone at night where unseen hoodlums lurk in the shadows. So is walking into a convenience store that’s about to be robbed. So is crossing the street at the same time as a drunk driver wheels around the corner at top speed fleeing from the police. Living is a health risk.

What has this society done to itself? We live in constant fear of EVERYTHING!

Size acceptance begins with the person. If you are a fat person, just say it....you’re fat. Take the stigma out of the word. Take away it’s evil power. Yea, your fat, so own it. The word is yours, it applies to you. You think it’s an ugly word? You want to replace it with something less abrasive and more complimentary? That’s fine, dress it up all you want, but at the end of the day, it’s still FAT so learn to deal with that simple fact. It’s only an ugly word if you see it as an ugly word. It’s up to the individual to change that perception. If they can, then they have taken a great step towards enlightenment. If they can’t, they better get used to being angry.... a lot.

Being a fat guy, I’m also a Fat Admirer. I’m an FA. I know I’m not the only one. Size Acceptance deals with FA’s as well. Even if they’re not fat (which is true for a lot of them), they still have to accept the fact that its fat people that they are attracted to. Some of them will boldly stand up and be counted. Some live in fear of their hater friends and their empty and meaningless opinions. I feel bad for them. I feel bad that they cannot break away from their moronic friends oppressive conditions of friendship and allow themselves to truly be happy.

To me, Size acceptance is about being free. Being free to be the person you want to be. Being free to love the person you want to love. It’s about having pride and being able to look at any other person in the eye. Fat people are people too. We have the same rights and the same privileges as anyone else. Like I said, what makes us different is that we weigh more and that we take up more space. People are going to see us, we’re hard to ignore.

They are going to see us outcasts.

They are going to see us as emotional prey.

They are going to see us as an easy mark.

Nothing is going to change that. The size acceptance movement is (to me) a movement that starts inside the person and then it emulates through what they do. They take pride in themselves because of the people they are, not chastise themselves over it. They feel good about themselves because they are alive, and they are free to see another day. Whatever happens to them in the course of that day, they can either let it beat them down or they can hold their head high. Size acceptance is about choice and choosing to be strong enough to accept yourself.

From there, we build size acceptance communities and we encourage each other. We stay strong for one and other because we’re all we’ve got. As long as we can be strong and encouraging for each other, then the Size Acceptance movement will eventually become common place. Even if there are people out there that will resist it. This isn’t about them though, it’s about us.

 
   

Ask Raqui & Jay

Ask Raqui & Jay

Ask your Questions and We will answer!

Send your question to Raqui and Jay - raqui@largeincharge.com

NOTE: The Opinion of Raqui and Jay is just that. We do not claim to be professionals or to solve your problems.  We can however give you a real answer that may help you out.

Ask Raqui Ask Jay

Q:  Raqui,  there is a woman I want to impress for Christmas.  I want to let her know that I want to have a relationship with her.  I'm not sure what to get her or what to do to show her that I think I am falling in love with her.  She is my friend and a SSBBW who has confidence issues. She feels she doesn't deserve love. Help me.

Almost in Love

Q:  Jay I would like to know, how do you deal with past girlfriends who felt bad about there weight?  I have one now that is very down on herself.

Weight Watcher

 

 

Raqui: It is very hard when you love someone and they feel they don't deserve the love of another person.  No matter what reason. 

    Why does this woman feel she doesn't deserve love? You need to really find out why she feels that way.  Is it the weight, or past issues?  You also need to find out if she even sees you in that romantic light.

     You must have known each other a long time to feel you love her.  Being honest is your best best.  If I were you I would write a poem or find a card that expresses your feelings.   You also have to keep in mind that maybe she is not ready for or wanting love.

   Advice from a female on how to approach her would be. Flowers a beautiful note and some champagne would do nicely.  Don't put to much pressure on her and sit down with her and tell her how your feeling.  That you don't know if she feels the same way.  That you know she doesn't believe she is worthy of love.  But if she will allow you to.  You will love her as much as you can for as long as she will let you.

     I don't know many women who wouldn't find that very special.  And if she says she is not sure.  Let it go, she is not ready for you.

Jay:  I usually ask the question (in a few of my interviews)... what advice can you give people of size who have low self esteem? My answer to you is really based on some of the answers from other people and not from me personally... because my past girlfriends were all mostly proud of their size.
 

     I conclude that yes some fat people feel bad about their weight mainly due to how much pressure society puts on us (whether they believe it or not).


     I find some people of size who disagree with me and say that because I am not a fat person, I cant imagine what it feels like to have to carry so much weight around...and for this reason.. they feel bad. What I have learned is that feeling bad ....or low self esteem about your appearance is not a size issue but a human issue.

 

     Everyone sometimes has issues about how they look and what things they would change about their appearance. My only advice to you is to try to show her that she is beautiful, support her in what changes she might want to make (if you agree with them) and introduce her to more positive people and activities in The Big World. Also help her meet other people who had the same problem but yet turned their lives around to now love themselves... regardless of their size.

Q:  Hi, I don't have any bbw parties in my area.  I am not sure what to do to meet and have fun with others in my area.

Muffin Cakes
Q:  Hi, I don't have any bbw parties in my area.  I am not sure what to do to meet and have fun with others in my area.

Muffin Cakes
Raqui: My advice would be to find a running partner. Another person or people of size you get along with.  Try taking small trips to a joining states to party.   We have over 10 parties here in NYC and I still do it.

     Search often in yahoo and other search engines.  You might find cool things to do in your area.  Connect with cool online people who are looking to do the same as you do.  Get together and have your own little pack and have a good time.    I still prefer the traveling thing.

Jay:  One thing is to not wait on your area. I have heard of many people who attempted to gather the People of Size in their area for social gatherings and it just didn't work. I am an firm believer of traveling to events and making it happen for yourself... no matter what! Second, email us at LargeInCharge.com and any other people who began events in order to meet and have fun in their areas...like yourself. If you feel you can be "InCharge"
then learn how to start events in your area. And let us know where you are...because sometime people are not aware that parties might be close by.

Q:  When dating a big woman what type of place should I take her to so that we are both comfortable.

Dating Question

Q: When dating a big woman what type of place should I take her to so that we are both comfortable.

Dating Question

Raqui:  I have said this often.  You have to research your area if you interested in dating a woman of size.  Check the restaurants and movie theaters.  Theaters must have arm rests that go up.  Check for tables that are not bolted down in a restaurant.  Booth seating on one side for her and regular chair on the other for you preferred. 

     DO NOT just keep her home or hide her.  Show her off.  Many women will be scared to go out if they are not very confident or know how to select a place for there size. 

     I have just found out almost every place that have shows and plays have a disabled seating area and those who are large and their companions can request those seats and get a discounted price. 

     Most of all talk about it with her ahead of time and let her know your there for her entertainment and comfort.  She will feel better knowing she is in good hands.

Jay:  Best thing to do is ask her. I found out that some BBW's already have it mapped out.. as to which restaurants, movie theaters, and businesses accommodate to their size. The other route is to do your homework in advance and check out the spots ahead of time. and it depends on what your date is going to be
like....example: if your going to the hotel/motel...your good.. don't worry about it! Your going to an amusement park...you gonna have problems catering to a Big Woman. But some restaurants are really spacious, some are not. Some places you can also call and ask. The best advice comes from the internet message boards/ egroups and places like this (LargeInCharge.com) where you can investigate and question People of Size in your area. My fav restaurant catering to BBW's is Olive Gardens...but you didn't say anything specific... you asked what type of place? so that you are both comfortable? both of you...really really comfortable...and your asking a Jay the FA?.. real answer... the HOTEL/MOTEL DUDE.......IS REALLY COMFORTABLE! Get the Hot tub, swimming pool, flowers, music, take out dinner and a movie.

   

Product of the Month

Large In Charge

Product of the Month!

What is good for Big Sized Bodies

 

    A very important and necessary part of LargeInCharge.  Find out what is helpful for big bodies.  Keep your self straight with some of our tips and tricks. Find out what other Big Sized people use to keep themselves smelling, feeling, looking, and living a proper life.  What kind of products are allowed. Anything that deal with the body. From cleaning aids to soap, lotions, powder, healing aids etc.  anything that can help a big body!

NOTE: The Opinion of those who submit items are not professional.  They are everyday people who found something that worked for them.  We are not held responsible for there opinion - The Large in Charge Staff

Send your favorite Item to be Product of the Month - Follow format below, include a picture of product (most can be found online) and Send to raqui@largeincharge.com

Curve for Men by Liz Claiborne

Cologne Spray

About the Product
 
 
Recommender:  Raqui
 
Name of Product:  Curve for Men by Liz Claiborne

Type of Product: Cologne Spray 

Cost of Product: 20.00 - 50.00 US dollars

Where Product can be found: Many online or offline stores
Wal-Mart, Kmart, Rite-Aid, CVS, EBay etc.  You can often find gift 
sets at reasonable prices other than the Liz Claiborne site.

Why I like this Product:  I love this sexy scent.  I love it so much I wear
it.  On a man it makes me attracted.  On myself I feel calm.  I find the
woman's version to remind me of something old ladies in church wear.
That is just me but I hate the woman's version.  The male version is much
better.  More earthy and sensual.  I recommend this especially for ethnic
men.   It seems to blend very well with their chemistry.
Brief Description:  Fresh and cool. An uplifting blend of green notes, 
spices and woods. Exhilarating green leaf, bergamot and Douglas 
fir peppered with hints of sandalwood and amber.

 

   

      L.I.C. Guestbook      Return to Back Issues of L.I.C.    Return to the Front