Congratulations to our October Raffle Winner: Ebony Burrowes from Brooklyn NY

Issue #32 - November 2006

Welcome to the Large In Charge Newsletter


In this Issue of L.I.C


Feature of the Month - Online Store


Cover Model of the Month -  Linda Marie ~ Florida's own Destiny!


Raqui's Spot - Approaching a Woman Online


Papi's Peace - The Valley


Good 4 U Food - Spiced Apple Pumpkin Pie Crisp - by Xander


Guest Spot - Big State of Mind - by Elle S.


Fashion Furious - Fashion Finds from our readers.  Submit your Find.


Product of the Month -  Products for People of Size


Ask Raqui - Send Raqui your questions.  Get some advice from one Big person to another.


FREE RAFFLE - Cute Purse from


Events & Pictures - L.I.C. Delivers Info. on the hottest BBW events, See what we are doing in the community.


LargeInChargeDating - Dating for the Large People who are going to be in Charge of their Love Lives!


LargeInCharge Friends - The Place for Big People to make Friends and maybe MUCH MORE!




Feature of the Month


Online Store for cool People of Size Products


ChunkEBusiness Partners

Peggy Howell, Darliene Howell & Dianne Hartle


     For over 5 years ChunkEBusiness has been giving people of size cool products.  Weather they are statues, cards, artwork or any other whimsical type of treasure.


    We all love to have something in our home that represents us.  Something we relate to and makes us smile.  That is what ChunkEBusiness does.  They bring you a feeling of acceptance and joy at the same time.


I have to send my praises out to them and give a high five because I love their sprit  ~ Raqui


Check out ChunkEBusiness now.



a Cute Purse from ChunkEBusiness was give to LargeInCharge

as a free raffle product this money by ChunkEBusiness.


Interview with Peggy Howell of ChunkEBussiness What is your name?

My name is Peggy Howell, my business partners are Darliene Howell and Dianne Hartley Where are you from and what is your current Location?

My sister Darliene and I are originally from Indiana but currently live in Las Vegas, NV and Dianne is originally from Santa Rosa, CA and still lives there. Do you consider yourself a Person of Size?

All three of us ladies are women of size. Who is the owner of your company?

We three ladies are partners in the business together. Tell us about your company? is the premier on-line art gallery and gift shop dedicated to the plus size community. Our products depict people of size in a positive, uplifting manner. There is no other business with the variety of art products available for people of size. How did your company begin?

For Christmas, 2000, I received a gift of some adorable kitchen accessories that depicted the cutest fat girls and boys in swimsuits having fun. I thought they were so adorable and mentioned to my sister that I thought the people at NAAFA would really love these! When our best friend came to visit and I showed her the gifts, she said, "The people at NAAFA would really love those!?

We believe in following out gut instincts and took that as a sign that we should buy some of these products and take them to the NAAFA regional convention in San Francisco in May, 200l. As we began to discuss this, we decided that between the three of us, we had the experience and expertice we needed to build a web business.

We found the source for the products we liked, created a partnership, got a business license and went shopping at the gift expo in San Francisco, CA in February, 2001. In May, 2001, we introduced our new company and all the delightful fat art and home decorating items that we had found to purchase to the west coast members of NAAFA. And the rest, as they say, is history! How did your company get its name?

My sister and I used to talk by phone with our father almost every Sunday after our mother passed away. One Sunday afternoon Dad called while we were in a business meeting with Dianne trying to decide what to call this exciting new endeavor. Our Dad like to joke around and tease us whenever the opportunity arose. When I told him we were having a business meeting, he said he'd call back later. I told him I was surprised that he hadn't said, "What kind of business, monkey business?" Then I heard one of the girls shout out from the living room, "chunky business, not monkey business" and a name was born!

Since we intended to create an internet/E-commerce business, we decided to call our our business Does your company have a motto or slogan; and what does it mean?

"Our message is self acceptance and equality at every size!" What this means to me is that it is important for people of size to begin to love and accept themselves as they are today. When we love ourselves, we can then truly love and accept others. We believe that it helps you to realize and remember that you are beautiful and worthy when you surround yourself with fat art that you can see and enjoy every day, reminding you of your own beauty.

We believe in putting our money where our mouth is. We proudly support NAAFA and their efforts to restore the rights of fat people everywhere. We are also proud to participate in BBW events all over the country, not just acting as vendors, but participating in the events we attend and building lasting friendships with people from coast to coast. We are very proud to be part of the size acceptance movement. How long have you been in business?

We have been in business 5 1/2 years. Tell us about your products for people of size?

We have a wide variety of size positive art and functional home decorating items. We represent a number of well known artists who offer original prints, more moderately priced giclee prints, some framed, some unframed prints, sculptures, tee shirts, note cards from original photos and more.

As for the functional home decorations, you will find a variety of kitchen accessories with abundant chefs, bathroom and bedroom accessories including candle holders, mirrors, tissue box covers, wall hooks, lotion pumps and so much more depicting beautiful sexy Divas. Then there's fun things like corset purses and cute club bags and bath salts and so much more! What made you decide to make this/these products?

We felt that people of size should be able to find uplifting objects of art to add to their home without having to search so hard to find them. We wanted to bring together a great collection of items that would offer variety and possibly something for every taste. The requirement was that it be positive and uplifting, helping fat people to realize their own beauty and feel good about themselves! Who designed the item/items?

Many of the products in our gift shop are purchased from wholesale sources but we only select size-positive products. In our gallery, we offer various artists the opportunity to sell their products through our business. My sister Darliene and I have both created products we sell through the gallery.

Darliene has artistic talents and has created some caricatures which she sells as prints or on tee-shirts. I have photographed the body parts of several of my abundant girlfriends and created note cards I call BawdyParts Note cards because they are suggestive but not x-rated and you can't identify the person so you might identify with parts that look like you! Are you currently looking for other products for people of size to add to your company?

We are continually looking to add to our product choices. What is the style of your products, what are the different types?

We carry framed and unframed prints, statues, candles, candleholders, kitchen accessories which include towels, pot holders, oven mitts, aprons, recipe books, memo boards and pads, napkins, cutting boards, cheese boards, paper towel holders, refrigerator magnets and more. You'll find glamorous statues imported from Italy and sassy cups for your favorite coffee or tea. There are backyard BBW accessories, purses, lotion pumps, cookie jars, salt & pepper shakers, mermaid ornaments and so much more! Does you company affiliate with any distribution companies?

We are not members of any affiliate programs. Do you have a website and a hardcopy catalog?

We have a website only and vend at various size acceptance events such as NAAFA and the BBW Network's Vegas Bash. How do we obtain a hard copy catalog?

We do not have one available. Tell us about any up & coming products for people of size?

We are currently collaberating with a local lady here in Las Vegas to make some beach towels available with designs my sister had created. They will be all about BBWs and loads of fun. Overall, What are your best sellers?

The work of the artist Jennifer Garant has been our best sellers to date. She created the abundant chef series which was the hottest thing going in kitchen decorating in 2004. Like fashions, home decorating items change so we have to shop every year for new products to add to our line and keep our audience interested. Has your item/items ever been showcased on Television or in Print?

Our company has been featured in newspapers in Santa Rosa, CA and St. Louis, MO. We were also featured on Finney's Friday Free Stuff on television in the San Francisco Bay Area when we gave away a refrigerator magnet. What are the ordering options that customers have?

We sell our products on-line and at a variety of BBW events like the national NAAFA convention, BBWnetwork's Vegas Bash, Linda's Big Connections in Chicago and more. How long does it take for a purchase to be received?

When a customer places an order through our e-store, we process and ship within 48 hours of receipt of the order. The customer determines the method of shipment based on how quickly they need the product. We ship via the US Postal Service so options are parcel post, priority mail and express mail. What are your refund options if an item is not satisfactory for a person of size?

The customer needs to contact us for a return authorization and we will cheerfully refund their money when we have received the product back in our office. Name some companies you admire?

The Modern Goddess by Cinda, Astarte Woman by Design, Big on Batik, Sanctuarie Designs and Big Girl Gear to name a few. Any business designed especially for the BBW community deserves my admiration. What are the most important elements to creating a product for people of size?

Quality, decoration, style, colors?

All those factors are important, especially when you are providing art and home decorating items. Everyone's tastes are different and beauty is in the eye of the beholder! Do you feel more companies will start catering to people of size?

I believe that manufacturers and main stream retailers are beginning to recognize the money to be made by catering to a larger audience! We have needs and money to spend. It's time they pay attention! But I will remain loyal to the clothing designers who have been here for us for decades. Would you say the reaction from the Plus Sized community has been positive?

Absolutely! Of course women are our primary customer base, but we also have some gentlemen customers who continue to add to their collections of beautiful BBW art. How has the internet helped your business?

The internet has afforded us the opportunity to reach customers all over the world. We have fulfilled orders from Canada, Germany, Puerto Rico and all over the good old USA! The internet is a wonderful thing for us. What can the readers at LargeInCharge do to help support your business?

In addition to purchasing art and home decorating items for their own homes and gifts for their friends, they can tell all their friends and family to shop at . We greatly appreciate the support. You are the reason we do what we do.


Thank you for Reading The LargeInCharge Feature

Please send thoughts and comments to

Cover Model of the Month

Cover Model of the Month

Linda Marie ~ Destiny

Interview with Linda Marie What is your name?


My name is Linda Marie. Friends and family call me Lin and Linny. Also sometime's known as Destiny as I have a tattoo with a symbol meaning Destiny. Where are you from and what is your current Location?


I am from Long Island, NY, Deer Park to be exact. I now live in the Tampa Bay area of the Sunshine State (Florida). Tampa Bay took a while for me to get used to but there are no snow storms and it has palm tree's so I like it, haha. Can you give us some information about yourself (Age, Height, Size, Nationality, Marital Status, Children, etc.) ?


Some tidbits about myself...well, I am 22 years old, stand at 5'6" tall and wear a size 24/26. I am Italian, Irish and German (perfect mix, don't you think? ::wink::). I am single and I guess you could say looking. So any boy's out there want to take me off the market, give me a shout! I have no children but I love them. I am very family oriented. I only have 1 sibling, an older brother who lives in NY still. He has a 3 year old little girl, Hailee who I would do ANYTHING for. Were you a big child, or did you gain weight later in life?


I am just about always been a little larger than most children my age but was basically average until I was 9, then I gained a lot of weight fast. By the time I was about 13 years old I was a size 24 jeans and have stayed pretty much the same every since. (If you were a big child) How did you feel growing up as a large child?


I had a lot of issue's growing up as a large child. I always got told the infamous, "You have such a pretty face, if only you'd lose weight". As I got a little older and started dating, I would always hear the "I don't care about what you look like. It's what's on the inside that counts". To this day, I cringe whenever I hear either of those statements. What made you decide to enter the LargeInCharge model search?


I entered the LargeInCharge cover model search because I think this is the perfect way to show to world that big girls are hot too!! Just because you aren't a size 2 doesn't mean you're any less pretty, or any less valuable. Do you have any experience in modeling?


If so tell us about what you have done. I'm pretty new in the modeling scene. I do have my own website that just opened in November 2005(email me at  if you want the link)I also have my own yahoo group fan club which email me for the link.  I would definitely like to do more modeling. I love being photographed. I had the fan club LONG before my website and the fan club has hundred's of photo's. I do still have one pet peeve with the fashion plus size modeling industry... they use models that aren't realistic. They still use models who are smaller than the average woman and models who have perfect shapes. If you make clothes for bigger girls, you should display the clothing on bigger girls! It takes a lot of confidence to model... What has given you the confidence you have?


What has given me the confidence that I have today? That is simple, my friends. I have the best friends in the world who always told me how beautiful I am. Kim and Rob, I love you to pieces! Did you find it a hard journey to be accepted for your size?


That was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done. It seemed like every time I was feeling good about myself, someone would come along and tear me down. I guess just time and getting older made me realize that I should take every opportunity that comes my way and not turn it away because I didn't think I was good enough because I was a big girl. Do you find acceptance among your family and friends?


My friends absolutely! If I didn't find acceptance among them, they would NOT be my friends. My family on the other hand is a different story. My father wishes that I would lose weight, just from a health standpoint. There is a large presence of diabetes on his side of the family and doesn't want me to end up with it. My Mother on the other hand thinks that being big is a problem. She is one of those people who thinks I "have such a pretty face". Many times she has said to me that I need to lose weight in order to get a good job or find a good man. I'm slowly showing her that being big is NOT a hindrance. What would you say inspires you most in life?


I would say what inspires me most in life is a who, not a what. That would be my Aunt Joan. She has always been there for me whenever I need her. She is what I strive to be. She is independent, caring and just an all around great person. What is your primary job?


My primary job is the website right now but I would love to get more into modeling. Especially fashion modeling. How did you get into this line of work?


When I was 13 years old I was signed to a modeling agency. At that time I had major self esteem issue's and would not go to any of the shoots that they called me for. I have definitely overcome those issue's and have the highest of self esteem. I would definitely like to get more into the plus size modeling scene. Do you find acceptance in the work force?


As far as modeling agencies, I have been having trouble finding a plus size agency here in Florida or an agency that has a plus size section. What changes do you believe should take place for Large People in the work force?


I think that large people are still looked upon terribly in the workforce. Offices and such do not want bigger people interacting with the customer's and often think that larger people cannot accomplish the same work related tasks as smaller people. What do you think about the fashion industry for big sized clothing?


I have seen a large change in the fashion industry for big sized clothing in the past few years. The internet has made a huge contribution to that as well as a lot of stores carrying plus sizes who had not previously carried larger sizes. I've also noticed a great change in the styles that the plus size stores or sections carry. They now carry a much more stylish selection for larger people. Not every size 16+ person wants to wear moomoo's everywhere! I am very pleased with the changes I have noticed. Where do you regular shop for your clothing?


First let me say that I am a shop-a-holic! If shopping were a sport, I would totally be MVP. Stores where the employee's know me on a first name basis (haha) are Fashion Bug, Cato, Torrid, Lane Bryant, Avenue, Bealls Outlet, Rainbow and DOTS. Sears also has pretty good plus size styles in the junior's plus section. What do you wish to see change with the fashion industry?


As I've stated before, I would like to see plus size clothing on plus size girls! If the jeans are a size 24, I would sure like to see them on a size 24 model. It doesn't help me to picture how they would look on me if they are on a size 12 model with a perfectly flat figure! The only other thing that I've noticed in almost all stores that carry plus size sections is that the plus size section is always hidden in the back corner of the store. Now if most of the US population is larger than a size 2, why do they have all of the size 2's in the front when you walk in the door? What changes do you think will happen if plus sized modeling for men and women were to expand?


I think that if plus size modeling were to expand that the acceptance of bigger men and women would greatly expand. Why does everyone think you must be a size 2 in order to be considered beautiful? That is because all the media focuses on are the size 2 "super" models, singers and actors and how that is their epitome of perfection and what you should strive to be like. Tell us some of the places you buy your clothing from.


Fashion bug, Cato, Torrid, Lane Bryant, Avenue, Rainbow, DOTS... Look at Size acceptance five years ago... look at size acceptance now. What changes do you see?


I can't say all too much about what it was like five years ago as I am only 22 years old now, but I do know that the plus size fashion industry has changed for the good. What changes do you think will happen five years from now with size acceptance?


I hope that five years from now the movie and music business will have some changes made to size acceptance. I'd love to see a big girl rockin' out on MTV! Tell us about your goals as far as modeling and other interests.


My goal is to show the world that big girls can be hot too! That you don't have to be a size 2 to be beautiful! Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Give us a sentence that inspires you.


Live each day like it's your last. You must do what makes you happy and seize every opportunity that comes your way, you may never get it again. Can you tell us about an inspirational moment in you life that made you feel good about your size.


Every single time someone tells me how beautiful I am, it makes me feel good. The fan mail has been very inspirational. I love hearing that people appreciate big girls for not being part of the cookie cutter that's the media feels you should be from. Is there a person in your life that makes you keep going?


There is no one person, except myself. You've got to do what makes you happy. What advice would you give to other people of size who want to model?


Just go for it. Put all your fears aside and do it. You will forever be thankful for the friends you will make and the people you will meet along the way. What plus size figure do you admire?


The plus size figure I admire most would be Queen Latifah. She is beautiful, has grace, style and has shown the world that being plus size is not a tragedy. What would you like to tell the LargeInCharge readers about yourself?


I would like to tell the LargeInCharge readers that I think big IS beautiful. I see the plus size industry evolving even more into a beautiful place for every size. Describe yourself with one word.


In one word, Beautiful. Inside and out.


Thank you for Finding out more about our Cover Model

Please send thoughts and comments to

Raqui's Spot

This months Subject:

Approaching a Woman Online


Approaching a Woman Online

     Ever since my recent break up, I have been thrown back into the dating scene.  Not always by choice.  It almost seems like some have just been waiting for me to be single again.  Now the men are really out there saying "What can I do to get a woman like you"?   Problem is there is no real recipe to get with a woman online that you may like.  Because it all comes down to compatibility. You can think your doing all the right things but your just not compatible, the chemistry is not there.


     If your not compatible it doesn't mean that either of you are bad people.  It just means that you don't make a good match.  The thing is finding out if you do match and if there is chemistry.  I know some of you are saying, "How can I find this out online"?   Well there is something called "Getting to know you".


     The point is approaching a woman online can be tricky.  You sometimes want what you want but your not thinking about how the woman feels.  That is a sign that "HEY I probably don't want this woman for the right reason". 


     This article is not going to help the Playa Playa types.  This article is for the men who do want to find a nice woman who they want to meet one day.  Maybe make them there girlfriend or more.  Who knows right?


     Many women are different so this is not concrete.  But lets just say that a lot of women agree with me in these terms.  So it is a good guideline to follow and then go with the flow while your getting to know this cool new woman your trying to bring into your life.


A Good Impression

     How to make a good impression?  It is really simple,  I personally hate when men send me a message or email with the subject "Damn Sexy".  Yes I know I am sexy, and I know if your taking time to send me a message or email that chances are you find me Sexy.  What I don't need to feel like is a sex object.


     With all the things in the world to say, leave sex out of it.  Because if the first thing or most of the things you say deal with physical attributes and sex.  Women are going to think all your out for is the physical. 


     It is an automatic that if your taking the time to talk to us that you are attracted to us.  If you want to express that you are attracted to us say so in a tasteful way



  • Your very pretty.

  • I find your look pleasing

  • You really captured my attention with your;  Eyes, Smile, Skin, Hair, Body Type, Style, Clothing Choice, etc.

  • I just had to get to know a woman as beautiful as you.


     Approaching us with sex on the brain is not the way to capture a women you want to get to know.  We already know you want to have sex with us.  We want to see that you have control over yourself and that we are not a sexual conquest for you.  That you want to get to know the woman behind the sexy outside. 


Say Her Name

     Baby, Boo, Honey, Sweetie, Sexy, Babe, Darling.  Pet names are a big NO NO.  Did you forget our name?  Are you talking to so many women that you cant get there names straight?  Are we just not important enough for you to remember our name?


     This is what women will think.  Some don't really care but any woman who is going to take you serious wants you to use her name.  She wants to know that you know who your talking to.  That you took the time to remember a simple thing HER NAME.




     Your talking to a woman who you really like.  Maybe even chatting for a month or so.  Your ready to talk on the phone.  Just when your about to give her your number she asks "What's your name again"?  She didn't remember?  What the HELL you might think.  You just were not that interesting for her to remember your name?  That can make you feel like crap.


     Using a persons name when talking to her is just a common respectful gesture.  Don't take intimacy.  Pet names equal intimacy and represent a close friendship and relationship.  You don't take that you are supposed to earn the right.



     The art of conversation can be tricky for some men.  Your not sure what to say.  Your not sure what to talk about.  Maybe your just not the greatest conversationalist which makes the online approach hard.  Remember you can always say, Hey I am not that great at conversation but I am going to try my best.  At least you put it out there.  Maybe someone who likes a great deal of conversation is not for you.  But chances are in the beginning your going to need some help so try these great ideas to promote conversation that will help you learn about the women you like and help her learn about you.


     Leave sex out of it, until your both comfortable enough to flirt and say cute little sexy sayings.  Don't bring it up.  Let her bring up sex and take your queue from there.



  • The News and things you have seen on TV.

  • Your favorite Television shows and why you like them.

  • Favorite Cartoons as a kid.

  • What was your day like - good and bad.

  • What are your hobbies.

  • What type of goals do you have.

  • Find out what they like to do; example: read, draw, talk, go out.

  • What is your favorite restaurant.

  • Where do you hang out.

  • What kind of work do you do?

  • What is your family like

  • What was it like growing up.

  • What is your home town and state like.

  • What do you like to do on a date

  • Funny experiences as an adult or child.

  • Most embarrassing experiences.

  • Do you have children?

  • Do you want kids?

  • Have you been married or not?

  • Have you had long term relationships?

  • What are your feelings on Internet dating?

  • What are your favorite website?

  • The Fun stuff to do on the net?

  • Wanna play a game together?

     I am sure you can think of a ton more.  Hey even make a list and you can talk about these things over and over and share cool and many times funny stories.  If you can laugh together that is a good sign.

The Number

     Many men are in a rush to get the number.  They don't want to chat via email and graduate to instant messenger.  They don't want to take the time to peek the woman's interest.  All they want to do is hear your voice and not take the time to earn the phone number.


     There are a lot of women now including me who don't want to give out there numbers unless they trust you.  That can take a little time or a long time.  I have a friend of mine now that chatted with me occasionally for 2 years until I gave him my number.  We are best friends now.  But it took that long.


     That's bullshit, many men will say.  I am not waiting like that if she isn't giving up her number then I am moving on. That is your right to do that.  But you might be missing out on an amazing woman because you don't have the patience to earn her trust.


     If a woman gives you a total stranger her number so quickly doesn't mean you are so amazing that she had to give you her number.  It just means she gives it out regularly.  So don't be surprised when she is to busy on the phone to talk to you.  Or if during your conversations she has to go to the next line a lot.  If her voice mail is full from many left messages.  If your out on a date and her phone is ringing off the hook.  Or even once you get in a relationship that it is ringing from all the people she gave her number out too.


     Do you want to be one of the many or one of the few?  Do you want your conversations to be something new and different.  Or part of her regular day that she goes through with many people.  Either choice isn't wrong but it is different.


     Many women wont give out there number right away because of bad experiences in the past.  Or stalkers.  Phone stalkers are just as bad and real time ones.  If the woman is worth getting to know typing some emails or instant messages shouldn't be that hard.  It is a safe way for her to get to know you so she will want to call you.  Keep that in mind when approaching women online.  She isn't being difficult by not giving you her number.  She is watching out for her own safety and the safety of her family.


The So Called First Move

     Regardless of the Woman's Right movement.  A lot of women still want to feel pursued.  Many men want to be pursued also.  But the fact is many women will not pursue you unless they feel you have real interest in something other than a booty call.  I know it is hard but if the woman really likes you after you purse her for a while you will notice that your getting emails first and instant message first because she is thinking about you.  If she is worth going after what is wrong with you making the first move for a while.  It says Hey I like you and want to talk to you.  When she does it back it says, I like you too and want to talk to you.


     Yes there are still men who believe in gifts.  It can sounds strange that women are actually suspicious of a man who wants to send them flowers.  Especially if he hasn't met them yet. 


     Many men are saying, "Damn, I cant do anything right"!  If I want to send her flowers she is suspicious.  If I don't, I don't like her.


     No gentlemen it is not that your doing something wrong.  It is other men who are doing something wrong.  Between worrying about who we are giving our address out to.  The crazy stalker who showed up at our door one day.  Or that guy who threw it in our face when we wouldn't have sex with them on the first date.  Women are downright confused and scared by a seemingly nice gesture.


     It is hard to know if a man's gift means I like you.  Or if it is some type of payment for future sex.  We know men do purse us and give us nice things because ultimately they want to get close to us and it is the way they show it.  But we don't want to feel that we have to give it up because we got flowers by surprise one day.


     Some men think that gifts will buy the woman and then guarantees them something.  Really a man shouldn't expect anything from a woman.  You might find love or you might only get a date and our company.  The thing is to only give a gift as an expression of liking a woman.  Not in exchange for something later.


     If your the type of man who expresses yourself with gifts from time to time, and you find a woman who is nervous about it.  Reassure her that it is only your way of expressing your interest and you don't expect anything but a smile and thank you.  Don't forget to mean it.

Invite Her to Share

   So you have been talking for a while, maybe on the phone or via instant message.  You want to get to the subject of meeting her.  But you don't want to push to hard.  Try inviting her to share something you like to do. 


     Maybe a concert, nightclub, or party.  How about going to one of those cool classes or seminars?  An art exhibit or museum.  If your lady is a bigger woman remember to take her somewhere with good seating or resting areas.  Take a little time to think about it and tell her you know a great place you can go to with lots of seating that is comfortable.  Some bigger ladies find it hard to express there needs and shy away from public places.


     The park or zoo is great because there is always lots of benches.   You can invite her to a gathering in which there are many people attending.  So many options see if she has any particular preference and go from there.


The First Date

     You made it,  your going on your first date!  Wow after all the emails and instant messages.  After taking on the phone and chit chatting.  You are finally going on a first date.  Just you and her.  OH WHAT A FEELING!  By now you have had great conversation maybe a few bumps in the road.  But now face to face your going to see that person you been waiting to really know in person.


     This is not just hanging out.  This is Dating and expressing that you like her THAT MUCH.  What to do what to do?  Take it easy big boy,  This is the time to flirt easy if you haven't already.  This is the time to express serious interest slowly.  Don't jump to fast.  Easy body language should follow.   You want to let her know she is not just your hang out buddy or fun friend.  She means just a little bit more.  How do you flirt in a non vulgar way but still make your point?  I SEE YOU AS MORE THAN JUST A FRIEND!


     Take into consideration how your relationship has been building.  How much flirting you have done by now will show you what level your at.  You might have even talked already about what she likes as far as behavior in men.  You might still be unsure.  Here are some easy flirting tips.  Watch her reactions and if you see her get serious maybe you might have to change the subject or back away a bit.  But in general these are nice flirting techniques that are not overly aggressive.



  • Looking at a women with interest says a lot.  Pay attention hopefully you are interesting enough for her to look back.

  • You can never go wrong with compliments.  Telling a woman how beautiful she is will capture her heart.

  • Help her at the table at dinner.  Pulling out her chair, making sure she is totally comfortable, Putting her straw in her drink, handing her a napkin, maybe even wiping some food off her face.  Sharing a taste of your food and letting her eat it off your fork.  Feeding her can really be sweet and just a bit sexy.  All subtle ways to feel close.

  • The hand touch, your sitting there talking and you want a little contact. You touch her hand, maybe hold her finger between your fingertips.  If she responds nicely a little hand rub or hand holding might be in order.

  • Are all the signs pointing toward her responding well to your flirting?  Time to make her laugh, after a really nice laugh touch her chin or cheek softly for a moment.  She might be taken by surprise if she blushes, looks down or smiles  YOU SCORED!

  • Your walking to the car, or waiting for that cab to take her home.  Guide her with your hand on her arm.  Maybe even a hand on her lower back. Above the butt.  Hold open her door for her.

  • It is the end of the night time for that first kiss if all went well.  Brining her hand to you lips to kiss it or kissing her on the forehead will tell you if she wants more.  If she moves closer to you or does the same blushing, looking down, smile thing.  Hold her chin and kiss her softly.  If your not sure leave it at the safe hand or forehead kiss.

  • MAKE SURE SHE THINKS ABOUT YOU ALL NIGHT - If you really like this girl leave her with something to hold.  You should know her really well by now after all that chatting about things that you both like.  Bring out the flowers or small present at the end of the night.  Doesn't have to be expensive but handing her something at the end of the date will leave an impression for the whole night and hopefully days to come until you talk to her again.

     I hope this article has helped you and give you a bit of insight into approach a real lady online.  Have luck on your search.



  ANNOUNCEMENT Raqui is a new writer to the team Check out BBWPress for her monthly articles.

Thank you for Reading Raqui's Spot

Please send thoughts and comments to

Papi's Peace

This month's Article:

The Valley


The Valley

Hello everyone! How are you this month? I KNOW you were eagerly anticipating the fifth and final installment of the “How To Mack” series, but we have bigger fish to fry. We will finish off that series in December.


This month, November, the month of Thanksgiving, Papi needs 2 reach out and touch a few people dear and special to him. I know of many people who have a hard time during this time of year due to personal loss. I also know people who are currently facing challenging times, including my wonderful editor Raqui, and I want to show my love and support.


Aside from this column, I send out two weekly emails. One on Mondays entitled Motivational Monday consists of a motivational story, positive, uplifting, interesting, and/or related quotes, and my thoughts on that Monday’s topic. The one on Fridays is called Feel Good Friday and is a newsletter including jokes, news, jobs, websites, books, gossip, celebrity birthdays, a motivation, my peace and some poetry. If U R interested in getting a taste of Papi on a weekly basis, send an email request to


Well, this months Papi’s Peace draws from Feel Good Friday - September 15, 2006. I hope you enjoy it and I hope it reaches and uplifts you.


Life is supposed to be a series of peaks and valleys. The secret is to keep the valleys from becoming grand Canyons. -  Bern Williams


You work for the same goals in sports and life, and sometimes you don't win. But you can learn that you can go through some deep valleys and return to the mountain top. - Van McCloud


Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine, and valleys of frustration and failure. - Calvin & Hobbes


The river of human life meanders along, through many a valley, leaps over many a cliff, loses itself in many a marsh and seeks to empty itself in the ocean of Divine Grace. - Atharva Veda

Life is a roller coaster. There are ups, there are downs, there are hills, there are valleys, peaks, and so on. - Martin Landau


I think this season was such a good one because it was a reflection of life. Life's going to have peaks and valleys. If you can stay in between, not let your highs be too high or lows be too low, you can survive. That's just life. - Rhonda Brown


If we never go through any valleys how will we know when we've reached a mountain top? How will we know if the mountain is even any good if all our lives we stay up on the mountain and never experience any valleys? I know we'd all like to avoid those "valleys" at all costs, but the most growth for anything happens during adversity. - Kim Bloomer


Adversity causes some men to break, others to break records. - William A. Ward


In every adversity there lies the seed of an equivalent advantage. In every defeat is a lesson showing you how to win the victory next time. - Robert Collier


There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time. - Og Mandino


Adversity is a fact of life. It can't be controlled. What we can control is how we react to it. - Unknown


This Is Not The Time To Give Up! by Jewel Diamond Taylor


We cry, point fingers, can't sleep, feel hopeless, angry, close our eyes not wanting to see or know the truth and become paralyzed with fear. That is what the enemy wants us to do when change and pain show up in our lives. Get up! We can be angry at what has happened to us or others, without abandoning our faith, praise, hope and gratitude. We can recognize our anger at life's unfairness. We can learn to see our instinctive compassion at seeing people suffer as coming from God who teaches us to be angry at injustice and to feel compassion for the hurting. There are so many lessons we can learn from our personal setbacks and from witnessing the human suffering of others.


What a marvelous time to truly go beyond talking our faith and now to walk it, live it, show it and share it. Every demonstration of kindness, courage, prayer and giving counts.


Every moment you decide to get up and overcome the paralysis of fear, the isolation of shame and hopelessness and take action, you have victory. Small victories lead to big victories. Small steps lead to progress. As we keep the Gulf Port area in our hearts through action, prayers and deeds, we can learn from them how to be resilient, caring, strong and create a sense of community. Life is sending us messages to make a paradigm shift from greed, individualism, war, excess, materialism, inadequate and dishonest leadership to a nation of love, faith, caring, integrity, community, personal strength and political intelligence.


You could be facing unemployment, divorce, sickness, grief, financial struggle and feeling lost and displaced. Only the strong survive! Our national tragedy from the hurricane is a great reminder for us to get strong spiritually, mentally, physically, financially, emotionally and in our relationships with others. Whether you are facing minor or major changes and challenges in your life, gospel singer Marvin Sapp inspires us through his song, "this is not the time and this is not the place for giving up."

Lyrics to Marvin Sapp's song: This is not the time for giving up. This is not your place where you should be. You got to hold on, you got be strong.


This is not the time to question your faith. This is not your place of destiny. It's not the time or the place to throw in the towel. You gotta hold on. You you gotta be strong. Sometimes you win.


Sometimes you lose.


It's apart of life that everyone goes through. Sometimes there's joy, sometimes there's pain. That's apart of God's plan. It is His own plan. This is not the time (not the time not the place). Just believe in the faith.


Gotta learn how to wait. There's still hope for the hopeless. There's still life for the lifeless. God is a friend to the friendless. He'll give you peace and sweetness. There's help for the helpless. There is a home if you're homeless. He will mend your broken pieces and cause you to live and be blessed, this is not the time or the place. Gotta learn how to wait. Don't give up.


Papi's Peace

Your Valley

There is strength in the valley.

Although we all enjoy

the peaks and the highs in life . . .

It is when we encounter a valley that we learn who we are.

What we are made of.

How strong we can be.

We gain strength, wisdom, and determination from climbing out of those valleys in life.

So when you get low, or find yourself caught deep in one of lifes valleys . . . know that this is

a part of your development.

Know that this is going to

help you in the future.

But most importantly know this . . .

You are not alone!

"The Valley" - Papi


As ALWAYS, today's topic is not new. U can go 2 several old issues, including the Feel Good on 07/07/06 (The Frog That Never Gave Up/Never Give Up On Your Dreams). This is yet another installment that is written 4 the times where U battle yourself. The times that U allow frustration, anger, obstacles, setbacks, and drama 2 affect U. The times when U question things U should NOT B questioning. Times when U think of throwing in the towel or giving up . . . giving in. Today we are discussing when U R trapped in a valley.


I formed my "Valley" concepts from Iyanla Vanzant. she has a series of Valley books that are written geared for African-American women, but can be used for anyone or everyone that has ever gone through a thang. She says, "Valleys are purposeful. They open our eyes, strengthen our minds, teach us faith, strength, and patience . . . In the valley, we change because we are forced to grow . . ." I learned a lot reading much or her writings, but this is one of the most powerful concepts I have encountered.


Let's remember 3 things about the valleys in our life: They are unavoidable and should be embraced. They are positive and not negative experiences. They are not forever.

Valleys in life happen everyday. To everyone. U R not the only person who has failed, who has faced hardships, who has been broke, who has been homeless, who has lost their job, who has gotten their heart broken. It happens ALL the time. And whatever U R going through someone else is going through the SAME thing at a LARGER degree, for LONGER and with MORE stuff with it. I GUARANTEE that. I don't say that 2 take joy in someone else's misfortunes. I say that so U realize it could B worse. There are people worse off. U should be thankful. Grateful. Count your blessings. I tell U all the time about your mental state. It is not about the problems U have, it is about how U face the problems U have. When U have a valley moment, don't get in a funk . . . become renewed and revitalized so U can prepare 2 dig yourself out. Sitting and moping and feeling sorry 4 yourself will do nothing but set you back and affect those closest 2 U. Don't allow it 2 happen. Flip it. Only U control your attitude!


A Valley should not B viewed in a negative light. Valleys are learning experiences. They teach U how 2 combat adversity. They teach U how 2 channel energies. They teach U how 2 use inner strength. Think of a Valley as training. When U lift weights, U grow stronger. When U run laps, U build endurance. When U jump rope, U increase agility. When U face obstacles and problems and U solve them, conquer them, defeat them, U gain experience. And we all know that is the best teacher. This is one conquered Valley 2 put on your scorecard. If U ever face this one again, U can knock it outta the box. Piece of cake. The more U face, the more U R prepared for. The more U encounter, the stronger U become. The more you endure, the more enlightened U become. So, the next time U see a Valley, tighten your belt and smile!

A Valley is a temporary event. It is not forever. Even in Seattle it doesn't rain everyday. The sun eventually comes out. The sun ALWAYS comes out. U will escape your Valley. U will eventually be freed from whatever situation has U in a choke hold. Yes, while U R in these situations, it may seem like 4ever. But think back 2 ALL of your Valleys. Were they forever? Didn't U eventually get out? Some things take time. Sometimes U were destined 2 learn a lesson. Learn from that lesson. Know that life sometimes does not follow our timetable. Ja Rule said he may not B there when she called, but he was always on time. Very Biblical from a gangsta rapper. But it is true. In time, U will B delivered. Iyanla likes 2 liken it 2 a complete day. There are 12 hours of darkness and then 12 hours of light. When U R in that dark valley, KNOW that the light will soon shine.


So, the next time U find yourself in a Valley, know that U R supposed 2 B there, know that there is a reason U R there, and know that U will not always B there. Now that U have a new attitude towards your Valleys in life, let's see if your life doesn't change because of it.


I hope U have a WONDERFUL and prosperous weekend.


Please keep Papi in your prayers as U will B in mine.


I love U!



Thank you for Reading Papi's Peace

Please send thoughts and comments to

Good 4 U Food

Recipes for Good... Healthy Food

By: Xander - The Food Dude


The Spin Doctor is In


     Sometimes as we head into the holidays we do a lot of things because that was the way we were taught to do them.  Sometimes that makes our lives less than inspirational.  As people we respect our traditions, but we hate ruts.  This year I challenge you to challenge your traditions.  Make them more you.  Create new traditions that suit you.


     Years ago I determined that I was tired of the concept of Pumpkin Pie.  I was seriously bored to tears with it.  I refused to make them for the restaurant.  (See the part where I hate to get in a rut).  I almost got fired over that, but I explained to my boss, that I wanted to do something different.  He explained everybody wanted pumpkin pie this time of the year.  So the following recipe was the compromise that was struck.  Some things traditional combined in a nontraditional way.

Maybe that's one way that we can strike the balance between what we want to do, with what we're expected to do.  It is a balance that is both precarious and necessary for us to continue to develop as people.  My boss could have just as easily fired me.  Honestly, I think he hated the thought of making 50 pumpkin pies himself.  What we came up with was something that was a success.  Not only for the pumpkin time of year, but year round. 


     I once had the occasion to ask a customer what he liked about pumpkin pie.  He responded by answer he could take it or leave it, didn't really crave it at anytime.  So I asked WHY you eat it.  His answer, gave me a great lesson.  He said that's what everybody was expected to do during the month of November.


     Expectation versus innovation.  Respect the past, while developing the future.  Being true to ourselves versus the expectation of what we should be, do, become, learn, love, eat, etc, etc., etc.   I urge you, hope you, ask you, to start asking what it is that you do because you are expected to verses the drive of what you want to do.  These paths lead us into conflict, change, but greatly, they can also provide the drive to be even more that we were the day before.


     Changes and challenges are what we are.  If we do our best for others and ourselves our path and result can be sweet.  Sweet like success.  Sweet like achievement.  And yes, sweet like a spun pumpkin pie.


     I wish for you all the greatest seasons, where all your hungers are met and satisfied in the best way for you.

Xander - The Food Dude

Xander's Recipe of the Month

Spiced Apple Pumpkin Pie Crisp

Makes 2 pies



                PUMPKIN PIE

·         1 (15 ounce) can pumpkin

·         1 (14 ounce) can EAGLE BRAND® Sweetened Condensed Milk (NOT evaporated milk)

·         2 eggs

·         1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

·         1/2 teaspoon ground ginger

·         1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg

·         1/2 teaspoon salt

·         1 (9 inch) unbaked pie crust


·         1 can apples in syrup

·         1/2 cup butter, melted

·         3/4 cup packed brown sugar

·         3/4 cup quick cooking oats

·         1/2 cup all-purpose flour

·         1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

·         1/2 teaspoon allspice


Remember you're going to make two pies out of this so for each pie use half of the pumpkin mix, bake, top with the apply mix,  top with crisp, bake again.  You can put aluminum foil to cover the edge crust so that it doesn't burn after initial bake cycle.

  1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees F. Whisk pumpkin, EAGLE BRAND®, eggs, spices and salt in medium bowl until smooth. Pour into 2 crusts. This should fill them about half way each.  Cover the edge crust with aluminum foil to avoid burning. Bake 15 minutes.
  2. Reduce oven temperature to 350 degrees F and continue baking 15 to 25 minutes or until knife inserted 1 inch from crust comes out clean. Cool. 
  3. Spread the apples evenly on the top of each now half firm pumpkin pie...
  4. In a medium bowl, mix together the melted butter, brown sugar, oats, flour, cinnamon and allspice. Sprinkle this topping evenly over the apples.
  5. Bake at 425 degrees for 15 to 30 minutes.  Take aluminum off the edge crust to allow it to brown.  Bake until the crisp has brown to your preference.
  6. Serve cool or hot, Whipped cream, or any other think you'd like. 
  7. Have a blessed Holiday.  God Bless you all.



Thank you for Reading Good Food 4U

By Xander the Food Dude

Please send thoughts and comments to

Large In Charge Guest Spot

We want to hear and see your talents!


One of our favorite parts of the newsletter.  The Guest Spot is for our readers to submit there talents to be viewed.  We want to see all you wonderful supporters making moves of your own.  If you write poetry, short stories, commentaries, or just thoughts in general, please submit them to us.  If your a designer we want to see pictures of your clothing.   We would love to include your talents in our newsletter.  We hope you take an active part in the L.I.C. newsletter. Send in your article, poetry, comments to -

NOTE: The Opinion of the writer is not always the opinion of The Large in Charge Staff.  We support the Right to all views.  We do not Condemn or Approve writing based on our personal thoughts.  We approve writing based on if the subject is a concern for the BBW / SSBBW / BHM Community.  Thank you for your writing and please send in those articles!  - The Large in Charge Staff

Big State of Mind

Looking at a picture of me with a friend, I am struck by the obvious. I am a Big Girl. Big smile, big eyes, big hair, big face and it all grows down from there.

I don't remember a time in my life when I wasn't big. In elementary? I was bigger than the other kids. Junior high? Bigger.  High school?  Oh, man, that's where they really kill you.  In college?  That’s where it started to get  much better. And now...

I've been big my whole life, and I have had a big life. In this day and age, the big girl has reached new heights of popularity. There are more clothing stores catering to the plus sized and more magazines of all kinds. The internet has opened up a wealth of resources for the active BBW. That stands for Big Beautiful Woman; if you didn’t know. There are cruise lines and ski trips, modeling opportunities, health tips, and body friendly doctors.

It would seem that out there, in the wide wide world, there is plenty of room for these wide wide hips. And, I suppose, there is...except for on planes, and in major sports arenas, roller coasters and in classroom seating. And what about that seat right next to you? What if I was walking right down that aisle towards that open seat next to you? Oh, you probably wouldn't have a problem at all. You don't look the type, but then again, most people don't.

“America Is Getting Bigger!!!” It reads more and more often in the headlines. Some read like tragic warnings from a world ablaze. Careful or you might catch it too, and nothing's worse than a case of the fatness. Pandemic, epidemic, crisis, danger, danger, danger - the whole world is headed to chubby hell in a Twinkie laden basket.

 Some of them read like victorious declarations. AHA! We have won! The whole planet went back for seconds. Yes!  “Big finally caught on, and it's the new skinny.” What does that even mean?

            Headlines, news lines, and by-lines. I'm wondering how everyone is just now hearing 'bout this. To me, the whole world has always been big. From birth, I was held in big strong arms. Sitting at my mother’s table, her generous proportions plopped generous portions onto my plate and the plate of anyone I ever brought home. The women in my family never shied away from anything much less a second piece of pecan pie. Family celebrations and family tragedies, personal victories and defeats, promotions and expulsions, love, luck, and heartbreak,  births, anniversaries, deaths, the good, the bad, and the not often ugly…I was born big enough to handle it all in grace and dignity.

            Any place in this world that might not yet be ready for our marvelous proportions robs itself of our enriching company and our ever increasing economic power. Those attitudes are changing, even though it might not feel like they are changing fast enough. But, for wherever we may not “fit”, there’s no loving embrace and kind word that can’t come custom fitted. Live well, be well, and spread the love.

            -Elle s.


Send in your stories, poems, etc. to



Ask Raqui

Ask your Questions and We will answer!

Send your question to Raqui -

NOTE: The Opinion of Raqui  is just that. I do not claim to be professional or to solve your problems.  I can however give you a real answer that may help you out.

Ask Raqui

Q:  Raqui I have been following you and have seen your site.  You really inspire me and i want to be a model also.  I am a SSBBW and i dont want to do paysite work so what can I do to do some modeling?  For me it is not about the money but about the fun!  I wanna say that I did it!


Raqui:  Michelle there are some ways you can model.  First see if you can trade modeling for a photographer in your area so you can get some good photos to submit to companies online that are looking for models.  Also get a digital camera with a timer and a affordable tripod so you can take your own pictures.  Of course a good friend will work also.

You can find online magazines like mine that look for cover models that you can submit pictures to. 

You can find clothing companies and see if you can do some free modeling or modeling in trade for clothing.

You can model for companies that sell products for people of size. 

You can do jewelry and just about anything for people of size.

Basically you have to contact this companies and maybe even try taking sample pictures to show them why they would want your face connected with there products.

Good Luck

Q:   Raqui I noticed that your website now has less writers.  Will you be doing a writer's search like last time? I am interested

Writer for U

Raqui: Actually yes I will in the next couple of month I will be having a writers search for all new writers to contribute.  Hope you enter when we have the search.



Q:   Now that your single how can I get to know a woman as amazing as you Raqui?  Your ex's lose could be my gain!


Your Admirer from NJ

Raqui:  Very sweet Mr. Admirer from NJ.  I am not rushing into a relationship now. It seems like from the first day I was single men have come out the wood work like they were just waiting for me to be single.  All I can say is if a man wants to know me he has to want to know me not what is in my panties.  I have a mind not just a body.




Thank you for Reading Ask Raqui

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Large In Charge

Fashion Furious

BBW/BHM Fashion of the Month

     We all hate how the Fashion Industry is just scratching the surface when it comes to Large Sized Fashion.  But I have found out that many clothing stores and online companies are beginning to take up the slack.  Creative BBW, SSBBW and BHM's are making there own clothing or mix matching and finding basic everyday wear and night club wear. 

     Making it affordable is what can be hard so showcase your wonderful finds here.  If your a regular shopper, sew your own clothing or a designer showcase your clothing here by submitting a picture for Fashion Furious of the month.


Fashion Furious of the Month

How to send in your Fashion Find. Send a Clear Picture as an attachment

and use the Format Below to describe your Fashion Furious picture.

Email to Raqui:

Fashion Find by: Raqui 

Fashion Type: Outerwear

Fashion Breakdown:

Jackets, Coats, Casual Denim, Rain coats and Leather.  King Sized has many types of Outerwear to suit many styles.  Sizes up to 8xl, 9xl some even 10xl.  Some ladies might find a something they like.



Outerwear in different styles and sizes.  Price depending.


Colors: many

King Size -





Send in your Fashion Furious Picture and Details to

Large In Charge

Product of the Month!

What is good for Big Sized Bodies


    A very important and necessary part of LargeInCharge.  Find out what is helpful for big bodies.  Keep your self straight with some of our tips and tricks. Find out what other Big Sized people use to keep themselves smelling, feeling, looking, and living a proper life.  What kind of products are allowed. Anything that deal with the body. From cleaning aids to soap, lotions, powder, healing aids etc.  anything that can help a big body!

NOTE: The Opinion of those who submit items are not professional.  They are everyday people who found something that worked for them.  We are not held responsible for there opinion - The Large in Charge Staff

Send your favorite Item to be Product of the Month - Follow format below, include a picture of product (most can be found online) and Send to

Product of the Month



About the Product
About the Product
Recommender:  Raqui - if you purchase make sure to put LIC or LargeInCharge as the Host
name a small percent of the proceeds go to help keep LargeInCharge open!
Name of Product:  The Body Shop

Type of Product: Body Products

Cost of Product: Depends

Where Product can be found: 

Description: Ms. Foster who has the site above recommend me to the Body shop products.
I haven't shopped there in years and was really happy with the body butters.  I tired a few
products but like the body butter the best.  But I have to say all were wonderful. Many of you
know about body shop but you don't know Ms. Foster.  Take some time to get to know her and
use her site.
Why I like this Product: The body butters not only smelled great but felt great.  I also like some
of the facial scrubs.  I used to buy the Peppermint foot spa things a while ago.  I suggest it to 
anyone with tired feet.



Send in your Product recommendation to

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