Congratulations to our November Raffle Winner: Sue Pompetti from Doylestown PA

Issue #33 - December 2006

Welcome to the Large In Charge Newsletter


In this Issue of L.I.C


Feature of the Month - Heavy Hitters, - Plus Sized Softball Team!


Cover Model of the Month -  Garden State Beauty Michelle Wright


Raqui's Spot - Plus Size Presents 2006


Papi's Peace - GIGO: Garbage In, Garbage Out


Good 4 U Food - Turkey Shepherd's Pie - by Xander


Guest Spot - Super Sized & Started my own Business - Kyla Foster


Fashion Furious - Fashion Finds from our readers.  Submit your Find.


Product of the Month -  Products for People of Size


Ask Raqui - Send Raqui your questions.  Get some advice from one Big person to another.


FREE RAFFLE - The Body Shop: Shea Butter Body Set from Kyla


Events & Pictures - L.I.C. Delivers Info. on the hottest BBW events, See what we are doing in the community.


LargeInChargeDating - Dating for the Large People who are going to be in Charge of their Love Lives!


LargeInCharge Friends - The Place for Big People to make Friends and maybe MUCH MORE!


Feature of the Month

Heavy Hitters

Winning Plus Sized Softball Team!


Heavy Hitters


     Through the laughs, stares, rude and down right nasty behavior of other teams in the Chicago Illinois  soft ball League.  The Heavy Hitters made it through.  Not only are they big in body but in heart.


     Supporting each other, having fun and proving that big people can play just as hard as their slimmer counter parts.  They played so hard in fact that they finished FIRST. 


     Yes they are number one and have surpassed the Number one undefeated softball team.  This team being one of the mean spirited, unfair, fight picking teams.  All that fat hatred was thrown back in their faces when the Heavy Hitters held the trophy.


     The Heavy Hitters did not let this behavior affect them.  They played and continued to face adversity.  They would not let anyone ruin there fun.  As a team the stood together and gained strength.  Hard work, practice payed off.  


     For the love of themselves, their team and the sport, they made it through and nothing could surpass that.











Team Pictures


Heavy Hitters Speak Out

Name: John Tahan
Sex: Male
Age: 33
Height: 5'6
Weight: 220

How I feel about the Heavy Hitters: I believe they are a great bunch of guys who like helping each other.

Why I love my team: well my team supports me in every way helps me and treats me good enough to be happy to be part of the team


Name: Karen W.
Sex: Female
Age: 28
Height: 5'2
Weight: -- Size: 18/20

How I feel about the Heavy Hitters: I think we are a great team, especially for a new team just put together this spring. We understand the game and its fundamentals. We force others to re-think their assumptions of a "fat" team. We don't let our size get in the way; we can hustle out there with the best of them!

Why I love the Heavy Hitters: I like the camaraderie that we have. We work well together. I wasn't sure what this was going to be like, but I can say that I have no regrets joining this team. And it has been a pleasure getting to know all of its members.


Name: Tim "S-Train" Kleinow
Sex: male
Age: 24
Height: 6'3
Weight: 350

How I feel about the Heavy Hitters: The Heavy Hitters was a great idea to put together not only for the exercise . But for friends to get together and have fun. Some of us are really competitive which can have both a positive and negative impact on how we play.

Why I love my team: The team has a great mixture of talent giving us an edge over some teams. We aren't called the Heavy Hitters for nothing.


Name: Kari Bruce
Sex: Female
Age: 28
Height: 5'6
Weight: 265

How I feel about the Heavy Hitters: We have an awesome team, we work really hard and have fun playing. I have also met a lot of new people thru my brother Tim, and it is really uplifted my spirits, to Have new Friends, and to have fun playing a game that I absolutely love.

Why I love my team: We work really hard, and I have met a lot of new friends that are awesome, and really fun to be around.


Name: Maureen G.
Sex: Female
Age: 31
Height: 5'6
Weight: I'm soooo not giving my weight. Wear a size 20.

How I feel about the Heavy Hitters: The Heavy Hitters is a collection of bright and energetic men and women who want to play softball, be active, and get healthy. The only difference between our team and others is that more of our players are considered overweight than a typical softball team. We are just as capable of winning games and doing well as the other teams in our league and are demonstrating that currently!

Why I love my team: I appreciate the fact that people are making efforts to learn the sport, improve their game, or just get moving and active. I think it's also a welcome argument to the theory that heavier people are just lazy, unathletic, or uneducated. Many of us are very active, and workout several times a week in an effort to be healthy. The team camaraderie is also strong and makes it a lot of fun.


Name: Lauren Walsh
Sex: Female
Weight:: uhhh....are they for real lol

How I feel about the Heavy Hitters: I feel the heavy hitters is a really positive thing for bbw and bhm because basically its fun and its fun with exercise. It really is a beautiful thing a whole bunch of heavy hitters running around and having a good time, what's better than that?

Why I love my team: I love my team because we have a real close (ness), its kinda weird, i feel like its a family when we are all playing together whether we be in the game or on the bench we support each other.

Interview with Andrea Brown team Captain

Andrea Brown Team Captain of Heavy Hitters What is your name?


Andrea Team Captain:  ANDREA BROWN Where are you from and what is your current Location?


Andrea Team Captain:  BORN IN OHIO, LIVE IN CHICAGO Do you consider yourself a Person of Size?


Andrea Team Captain:  YES I AM A PROUD BBW Tell us about your Team for People of Size?


Andrea Team Captain:  WE ARE ALL EITHER PLUS SIZE, FRIENDS OF PLUS SIZE OR FAMILY OF PLUS SIZE PEOPLE What role do you play for the Team?


Andrea Team Captain:  I AM THE TEAM CAPTAIN Please explain the dynamics of the sport?


Andrea Team Captain:  ITS RECREATIONAL SOFTBALL, YET PRETTY COMPETITIVE What inspired the creation of this team?




Andrea Team Captain:  HEAVY HITTERS OUR OF VILLA PARK, IL Do you have a motto or slogan; and what does it mean?


Andrea Team Captain:  HOOAH! THE PHRASE COMMONLY USED FOR THE ARMY. . . JUST A SAYING IN THE HUDDLE TO GET US GOING FOR THE GAME. Do you have a team call, or words of inspiration that your team chants?


Andrea Team Captain:  NO CHANTS, JUST PLENTY OF PEOPLE CHEERING Is your team co-ed?


Andrea Team Captain:  YES, DIVIDED EVENLY How many players do you have?


Andrea Team Captain:  ABOUT 15 Do you have a website? If so what is your website name?


Andrea Team Captain: What is your practice schedule?






Andrea Team Captain:  IN SEASON WE HELD OUR GROUND BUT SLIPPED ON THE LAST TWO GAMES DUE TO ABSENT PLAYERS, WE FINISHED IN 5TH (If your a winning team) What would you attribute to your winning record?


Andrea Team Captain:  DEDICATION AND STRATEGY What are the things you think your team should work on?


Andrea Team Captain:  ORGANIZATION, BUT THAT'S EXPECTED WITH A BRAND NEW TEAM Tell us how your team has evolved with time?


Andrea Team Captain:  FROM THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON TO THE END, MANY HAVE IMPROVED INDIVIDUALLY AND THE TEAM IS MUCH CLOSER NOW! What have you learned during this evolution that makes keeps your team going?


Andrea Team Captain:  THAT YOU CAN'T MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY, BUT YOU MUST RESPECT EVERYONE'S OPINION Does the fact that your team is plus sized make any difference during the game?


Andrea Team Captain:  WE GET MORE STARES THAN USUAL, I THINK, BUT OTHER THAN THAT. . NO. What type of reaction do you get from other teams and the crowd?




Andrea Team Captain:  THAT WE HAVE FUN AND DO OUR BEST! #1 RULE What do you consider some of the highlights of your games?




Andrea Team Captain:  WE PLAN TO PLAY IN THE SAME LEAGUE WITH, HOPEFULLY, MOST OF THE SAME PEOPLE. I AM GOING TO TRY TO FIND ANOTHER LEAGUE TO PUT ANOTHER PLUS SIZE TEAM IN BECAUSE THE INTEREST IN PLAYING IS JUST SO GREAT NOW. Is there any advice you can give other people of size who may want to join your team, or start a team of their own?




Andrea Team Captain:  They can get it on the myspace page or What type of response have you gotten from the Big Community?


Andrea Team Captain:  WE HAVE BEEN SHOWN A LOT OF PRIDE AND SUPPORT! What would you say is your proudest moment this season?




Andrea Team Captain:  BE HEALTHY, BE HAPPY AND DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE WRONG FOR BEING YOU! If you can sum your team up in one word, what would it be?


Andrea Team Captain:  AWESOME! Are you affiliated with any other Size Positive teams or companies?


Andrea Team Captain:  We are affiliated with LindasBigConnections What companies or people do you admire?


Andrea Team Captain:  I ADMIRE ANY COMPANY OR PERSON THAT RESPECTS PEOPLE FOR PEOPLE, NOT THEIR ABILITY TO FIT THE "NORM". I admire Linda Nourse and her family for all the hard work they do for size acceptance. My personal hero is Maya Angelou, strong, wonderful, intelligent, brave and motivating woman, that overcame so many hardships! What would you like to say to the LargeInCharge Readers, how can we support you?


Andrea Team Captain:  Just be proud to be a plus size person and if you are in the area during a game. . . stop in and cheer us on!


Thank you for Reading The LargeInCharge Feature

Please send thoughts and comments to

Cover Model of the Month

Cover Model of the Month

Michelle Wright

Interview with Michelle Wright What is your name?

Michelle Wright:  My name is Michelle, but some call me Michi, Chelle, Chell, or Chink which is short for Chinkie Ize, Where are you from and what is your current Location?

Michelle Wright:  I currently reside in Paterson New Jersey, born and partially raised there. I have ventured into Hackensack, Bronx, and Englewood, but I wound up back to my roots Can you give us some information about yourself (Age, Height, Size, Nationality, Marital Status, Children, etc.)?

Michelle Wright:  I am a 29 year old 5 foot 7 inch African American Female. I am happily married to Robert my wonderfully supportive caring husband of 3 years but companion of 10 years. I have 3 very active beautiful intelligent children ages 8 -my daughter Megan, 4 Ėmy son Robert Cassius, and 3 Ėmy son Michael. Were you a big child, or did you gain weight later in life?

Michelle Wright:  I have always been a big child. I added lots more weight later in life also. (If you were a big child) How did you feel growing up as a large child?

Michelle Wright:  I was embarrassed most of my life cause I was always being made fun of by kids and adults. Sometimes the adults can be more cruel than the kids . It made me want to be skinny like the people on TV because I thought that it was beauty and maybe people would stop making fun of me. (If you gained weight later in life) What caused you to gain weight and how did you feel about it?

Michelle Wright:  I added lots more weight later in life with pregnancy, being inactive physically, eating late and the wrong things and contraceptive medications, especially the injection. What made you decide to enter the LargeInCharge model search?

Michelle Wright:  I entered because there is a place for everything. Whereas I may not be a candidate to model for Victoria Secrets, Here at LargeInCharge I can shine somewhere & the wonderful people at LargeInCharge gave me that place to shine. Do you have any experience in modeling? If so tell us about what you have done.

Michelle Wright:  I do not have much modeling experience. I have done a few photo shoots to build my portfolio. I have also been in 1 fashion show called ďA Plus Is A MustĒ hosted by Big Bold Beautiful Woman (a modeling organization I was a part of), I am listed on Musecube, Model Mayhem, One Source Talent, won Elegant plus Model of the month in August of 2004, Bear Essence Model of the year 2006, and now chosen a cover model for LargeInCharge. (Thank you) It takes a lot of confidence to model... What has given you the confidence you have?

Michelle Wright:  My husband and my children are my main source of confidence; they love me and encourage me no matter what. I am also reassured by the different contests offered such as this one. Whether I enter and win or not the fact that there is a place for people of size is definitely a confidence builder for me. Did you find it a hard journey to be accepted for your size?

Michelle Wright:  It has always been and always will be a hard journey for me and folks like me. I feel it may be a little harder for me because not only am I plus sized, but also considered ďĒsuper sizedĒ which is a step above plus sized. How ironic it is to be too plus for some plus size assignments. But I donít let that get me down. I am a fighter and even if I donít make it hopefully I will pave the way and/or inspire someone else to make it. Do you find acceptance among your family and friends?

Michelle Wright:  My friends and family have always accepted and encourage me. What would you say inspires you most in life?

Michelle Wright:  First of all I am inspired by my family, then by myself, because these are the opinions that truly matter in life. I am also inspired by the fact that I have to be a role model for my kids. I cannot possibly tell them that they can do what ever they want to do in this world if I donít follow my own advice and do what I truly want to do. And also I have to be a role model for my daughter because she is also plus sized. She needs to understand being bigger that others is not a curse, itís just a pretty package in a different sized box. What is your primary job?

Michelle Wright:  Aside from being a full time mom and wife, I am also a full time pharmacy technician How did you get into this line of work?

Michelle Wright:  I started out working in the store then the pharmacy needed help so they transferred me. Do you find acceptance in the work force?

Michelle Wright:  I am accepted in the department I work in but outside of my department, I something hear snickers and talk of my size, but it doesnít bother me because I have come to realize that not everyone in this world is open minded. Some still have their beliefs and opinions, and that is what the world is about different beliefs and opinions. What changes do you believe should take place for Large People in the work force?

Michelle Wright:  I feel that people in general, whether in the workforce or in life need to realize that we are all different. Variety is what the world is about. We should stop trying to be like every one else. There is nothing wrong with being different and not looking and/or thinking like everyone else. What do you think about the fashion industry for big sized clothing?

Michelle Wright:  The fashion industry is vastly improving. There used to only be old fashion styles for the bigger people. Now there is much more of a variety for the young and more hip crowd, and lots more stores specializing in plus sizes are coming up, as well as the older store (i.e.: sears, target and others) are beginning to carry plus sized clothing. Where do you regular shop for your clothing?

Michelle Wright:  Avenue is my store of choice. What do you wish to see change with the fashion industry?

Michelle Wright:  My main thing is the clothes made more proportionately. For example I have big arms and most shirts fit my body, but are very tight in the arms. And with jeans I have a big butt so I have to go up a size to find a jeans that fit, and that in turn leaves me with lots of slack in the front. I also would like to see more true plus models modeling the clothes. If they offer the clothes in a size up to 28 I would like to see how size 28 models may look in the item. It would give me an idea of what I may look like in it. What changes do you think will happen if plus sized modeling for men and women were to expand?

Michelle Wright:  I think one change is a lot more people will have greater self-esteem. This would result because people will see that there are more people like them in the world and feel better about themselves. The possibilities are endless as to what would happen if the plus sized modeling force expanded. It would probably spill over into movies and TV, and this movement might change the minds of some of the people in the world that think plus is a bad thing. Tell us some of the places you buy your clothing from.

Michelle Wright:  I at times shop at Ashley Stewart, Torrid, Lane Bryant, and surprisingly place like Target, Old Navy, and Khols have nice things for the plus sized individuals Look at Size acceptance five years ago... look at size acceptance now. What changes do you see?

Michelle Wright:  There are many changes. Many people are realizing that size 2 is not the only size in the world. There are many more plus sized stars on screen and on TV there are more plus sized models, and stores that wouldnít usually carry plus sized clothing are expanding their market. Many more modeling companies are heavily recruiting plus size individuals, and many people are starting to realize that there are many plus sized people in the world an we need more products that cater to us. What changes do you think will happen five years from now with size acceptance?

Michelle Wright:  Hopefully we can get rid of the concept of size acceptance. Maybe we can just be like everyone else just different sizes, kind of like flowers, they come in all different shapes and sizes but are beautiful in their own design. Tell us about your goals as far as modeling and other interests.

Michelle Wright:  I would love to be a high fashion model, I would love to do runway shows, and what ever else I am blessed with. I would love to be a motivational speaker and an inspiration for others like me. I also want to act but most of all if I donít make it I at least want to be a stepping stone for someone else. Give us a sentence that inspires you.

Michelle Wright:  Beauty is only skin deep. (This is inspirational to me because some of the prettiest people have a very ugly attitude which distracts from their beauty. Everyone has their own interpretation of what beauty is, but the person you are deep inside will always define your true beauty.) Strictly my opinion Can you tell us about an inspirational moment in you life that made you feel good about your size.

Michelle Wright:  Every time I win a contest it is a wonderful moment in my life, but I think that when a young lady contacted me and said that I inspired her, this was one of the most inspirational moments, That and being accepted as a LargeInCharge cover model. I thought about the concept of being in charge, and that is what I am. I am in charge of my life and donít let others dictate what I should to because of my size, I am living large and in charge of my own destiny. Is there a person in your life that makes you keep going?

Michelle Wright:  My husband and kids help me keep going. They are very supportive and give me that unconditional love the sees no boundaries such as size. What advice would you give to other people of size who want to model?

Michelle Wright:  If you really want to model just do it. You will find lots criticism so make sure it is something you really want to do. You must also have very thick skin. The world ainít ready for us yet so they still shun and criticize us at times and can be harsh. Beware of scams and empty promises. They are very rampant in the modeling world. Donít loose faith. There are so many different opportunities in the modeling world; you will find something that will suit you. It may take time so donít give up. And last but not least do lots of research. Research the people that contact you, the companies you are interested in, research the type of modeling you feel you are best suited for, research everything. What would you like to tell the LargeInCharge readers about yourself?

Michelle Wright:  Not too much really more to know about me. Most of it was included in this interview, but if they have any questions they can contact me via e-mail at I love making friends. I love people. Describe yourself with one word.

Michelle Wright:  That word would have to be ME. I know itís not very creative, but itís the only person I can be. I am unique, and the only person I ever want to be is me. God made me ME. And thatís all i will ever be no matter how hard I try to be someone else. I love being me.



Thank you for Finding out more about our Cover Model

Please send thoughts and comments to

Raqui's Spot

This months Subject:

Plus Size Presents 2006


Plus Size Presents 2006

     Last year at Christmas time I gave my Do's and Don't for gift giving when it comes to plus sized people.  I also gave my suggested preferred picks of presents for men and women.  This year I am  going to suggest some presents that are suitable for Plus Sized men, women and couples.  Hope I help you out with it comes to picking that special present for your loved ones.



Raqui's 10 Picks for Plus Sized Gift Giving

Gift Cards -  I will say it again gift cards are great.  You can give a plus sized person a gift card to a favorite restaurant.  Clothing store they shop at.  Online store or you can give them a Visa Gift card and then they can buy whatever they want at any store.  There are so many options when it comes to gift cards and you can never go wrong.  The person always gets what they want.

Gift Certificates -  These are great also.

Blankets - I give this gift often it is great for everyone.  It is warm comes in many colors and at the biggest size (King) it is affordable at $17.99 from a great website for bedding.  They also have at home catalogs.  The King Size 100% cotton woven blanket is perfect for man, woman or couples.  In many colors you never have the wrong choice. 

Don't think all gifts have to be expensive. this affordable gift is something I get the most compliments on :)

Dignite Produts - After using this product and recommending it I have to say it will make a great gift for any plus sized person. These products actually do what they say. They Clean, Protect and Moisturize the skin. Made especially for people of size they can help those who are immobile and are great for everyone in-between.  Moisturizer with out the greasy feeling, Cleaning products that leave no film behind.  Skin protecting cream that does work.

Cost of Product: 44.74 for the complete set/each can be purchased individually also.

Where Product can be found:

Candles - Mickey Made Candles one of our sponsors is a great pick to me.  She has all types of sets and scents.  Strong but not over powering. Long lasting and fragrant.  So if you got a candle lover you can defiantly order a great gift for them from Mickey Made Candles.
All Mickey Made candle jars are made from 100% natural soy wax 
and we only use 100% cotton wicks.
Cozy Warmers - I received two of these products one for the neck and one for the body. They are great when you have pain in different areas of your body. They heat up quickly in the microwave and stay warm for a long time. They conform to the different curves of your body and are comfortable. You don't have to worry about leaving something plugged in or getting burned. You can buy them in different sizes. Many companies make them. Some come in pretty colors and styles. Some are even scented to make you relax. Great gift for anyone.

Cool Memberships - Ok I usually don't recommend something so personal but because these two companies are so cool.   And hopefully if you know the person your getting these memberships for then all will be ok.

GameFly - great membership where you can rent video games for most game systems -

NetFlix - membership in which you get to rent unlimited DVD's Via mail the return time is excellent -

Ginny's - This website has great appliances and gift items.  They have a very affordable credit plan that you can use to buy gift items.  I have gotten quite a few nice items for friends and family via Ginny's.  This website and catalog has a wide variety of items.  I am sure you can find something for that special someone on your Christmas list.

The Swiss Colony - Every year for about 10 years I order from The Swiss Colony. They have a wonderful array of holiday candy and treats.  Meats, sausages and cheeses, cakes and all kind of wonderful holiday presents of the edible kind.  I have found that many people love to have an edible gift they can share with the family or keep all to themselves.  I mean you cant go wrong with yummy sweets and treats during holiday time. They also have an affordable credit arrangements. - Don't know what to get?  Try I have bought a few nice presents from this site.  While I usually hate site with huge amounts of affiliate connections.  this site does it very nicely and i have found new sites with more products than i thought possible.  They get a big YAY when it comes to a place to find gifts. - My absolute favorite place when it comes to personal gifts.  Know someone who you want to get a special gift for?  All you need is a digital camera, or a great picture of them.  You can makes wonder personalized mugs, mouse pads, calendars, and my favorite PHOTO BOOKS.  Instead of just printing your digital pictures from there site in prints.  you can have a whole photo book printed up and mailed right to them as a present.  I love the holiday cards you can have created, and the many other projects that can be made.  This site is a site I use all year when it comes to gifts.


Happy Gift Giving :)



  ANNOUNCEMENT Raqui is a new writer to the team Check out BBWPress for her monthly articles.

Thank you for Reading Raqui's Spot

Please send thoughts and comments to

Papi's Peace

This month's Article:

GIGO: Garbage In, Garbage Out


GIGO: Garbage In, Garbage Out

     OK family. Papi must flip the script one more time. I know your are still eagerly anticipating the fifth and final installation of the How To Mack series, but as the new year approaches I wanted to reach back in order to move forward. This month will feature another selection from one of my personal writings, entitled GIGO: Garbage In, Garbage Out (w/ Talkiní $hit).


  • The brain is like muscle. When we think well, we feel good. Understanding is a kind of ecstasy. - Carl Sagan

  • Few cases of eye strain have been developed by looking on the bright side of things. - Unknown

  • Few things in the world are more powerful than a positive push. A smile. A word of optimism and hope. A "you can do it" when things are tough. - Richard M. DeVos

  • A man is what he thinks about all day long. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

  • I have made it a rule of my life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy . . . you can't build on it; it's only good for wallowing in. - Katherine Mansfield

  • Little minds attain and are subdued by misfortunes; but great minds rise above them. - Washington Irving

  • Expect the dawn of a new beginning in the dark nights of life. - Lloyd John Ogilvie

  • The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make heaven of Hell, and a hell of Heaven. - John Milton

  • Sometimes when I consider what tremendous consequences come from little thingsÖ I am tempted to thinkÖ there are no little things. - Bruce Barton

  • Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn't know it so it goes on flying anyway. - Mary Kay Ash

  • Miracles happen to those who believe in them. - Bernhard Berenson

  • There are no limitations to the mind except those we acknowledge. - Napoleon Hill

  • The more you recognize and express gratitude for the things you have, the more you will have to express gratitude for. - Zig Ziglar

  • A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. - Walter Bagehot

  • Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. - Henry David Thoreau

  • If you put a small value on yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price. - Unknown

  • Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success. - Dr. Joyce Brothers

  • Life's problems wouldn't be called "hurdles" if there wasn't a way to get over them. - Unknown

  • Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness. - Chinese proverb

  • A positive attitude can really make dreams come true - it did for me. - Zina Garrison

  • The Most Important Meeting You'll Ever Attend Are The Meetings You Have With Yourself by Denis Waitley

     You are your most important critic. There is no opinion so vitally important to your well being as the opinion you have of yourself. As you read this you're talking to yourself right now. "Let's see if I understand what he means by that... How does that compare with my experiences? - I'll make note of that - try that tomorrow - I already knew that... I already do that."

     I believe this self-talk, this psycholinguistics or language of the mind can be controlled to work for us, especially in the building of self-confidence and creativity.

     We're all talking to ourselves every moment of our lives, except during certain portions of our sleeping cycle. We're seldom even aware that we're doing it. We all have a running commentary in our heads on events and our reactions to them.

  • Be aware of the silent conversation you have with yourself. Are you a nurturing coach or a critic? Do you reinforce your own success or negate it? Are you comfortable saying to yourself, "That's more like it". "Now we're in the groove." "Things are working out well." "I am reaching my financial goals." "I'll do it better next time."

  • When winners fail, they view it as a temporary inconvenience, a learning experience, an isolated event, and a stepping-stone instead of a stumbling block.

  • When winners succeed, they reinforce that success, by feeling rewarded rather than guilty about the achievement and the applause.

  • When winners are paid a compliment, they simply respond: "Thank you." They accept value graciously when it is paid. They pay value in their conversations with themselves and with other people.

  • A mark of an individual with healthy self-esteem is the ability to spend time alone, without constantly needing other people around. Being comfortable and enjoying solitary time reveals inner peace and centering.

     People who constantly need stimulation or conversation with others are often a bit insecure and thus need to be propped up by the company of others.
Always greet the people you meet with a smile. When introducing yourself in any new association, take the initiative to volunteer your own name first, clearly; and always extend your hand first, looking the person in the eyes when you speak.

     In your telephone communications at work or at home, answer the telephone pleasantly, immediately giving your own name to the caller, before you ask who is calling.
Whenever you initiate a call, always give your own name up front, before you ask for the party you want and before you state your business. Leading with your own name underscores that a person of value is making the call.

     Don't brag. People who trumpet their exploits and shout for service are actually calling for help. The showoffs, braggarts and blowhards are desperate for attention.
Don't tell your problems to people, unless they're directly involved with the solutions. And don't make excuses. Successful people seek those who look and sound like success. Always talk affirmatively about the progress you are trying to make.

     As we said earlier, find successful role models after whom you can pattern yourself. When you meet a mastermind, become a master mime, and learn all you can about how he or she succeeded. This is especially true with things you fear. Find someone who has conquered what you fear and learn from him or her.

     When you make a mistake in life, or get ridiculed or rejected, look at mistakes as detours on the road to success, and view ridicule as ignorance.

     After a rejection, take a look at your BAG. B is for Blessings. Things you are endowed with that you often take for granted like life itself, health, living in an abundant country, family, friends, career. A is for accomplishments. Think of the many things you are proud of that you have done so far. And G is for Goals. Think of your big dreams and plans for the future that motivate you.
If you took your BAG - blessings, accomplishments and goals - to a party, and spread them on the floor, in comparison to all your friends and the people you admire, you'd take your own bag home, realizing that you have as much going for yourself as anyone else. Always view rejection as part of one performance, not as a turndown of the performer.
And, enjoy those special meetings with yourself. Spend this Saturday doing something you really want to do. I don't mean next month or someday. This Saturday enjoy being alive and being able to do it. You deserve it. There will never be another you. This Saturday will be spent. Why not spend at least one day a week on You!

Action Idea: Go for one entire day and night without saying anything negative to yourself or to others. Make a game of it. If a friend or colleague catches you saying something negative, you must put a 1/2 dollar in a drawer or container toward a dinner or evening out with that person. Do this for one month and see who has had to pay the most money toward the evening.

GIGO - Garbage In, Garbage Out by Papi
     Garbage In, Garbage Out (abbreviated to GIGO) is an aphorism in the field of computer science. It refers to the fact that computers, unlike humans, will unquestioningly process the most nonsensical of input data and produce nonsensical output. - Wikipedia.

     What does that mean? Well, if you let bullshit into your cipher, bullshit will leave your cipher. If you always think you will fail, you WILL fail. The negativity that you think and internalize will be the negativity that you manifest and externalize.

    Today is yet another point of review in our Feel Good process. When I KNOW I am going to touch on a topic that I have visited before I always pull it out of the archives to read and reference. Well, I knew that today I would be discussing positive thinking so I wanted to go back to when I first told you that you are what you eat. The name of that Peace was Talkiní Shit and after I read it today I HAD to not just reference it, but reprint it. I feel like it is just that good. So in introducing another appropriate phrase to help keep a positive relationship with self, GIGO, also remember that it is good to talk a lilí shit inside.

Talkin' Shit by Papi
You are what you eat.

     You have heard it all your life. Ironically enough it is true. Figuratively speaking, you are what you eat. Perception is reality. What you believe about yourself will MAKE who you actually are. There is a very well known concept called the self-fulfilling prophecy, which is a prediction that, in being made, actually causes itself to become true. The self-fulfilling prophecy is, in the beginning, a false definition of the situation evoking a new behavior which makes the original false conception come true. (Robert K. Merton) In other words, a false prophetic statement may affect humans (through fear or logical confusion) to take actions that will ultimately result in fulfillment of the prophecy. What does this mean in real life? You keep telling someone they are stupid and they eventually believe they are stupid and become more stupid in the process. If you keep telling someone they are inferior long enough they will believe it and take on the characteristics of an inferior person. Exercises, workshops, and studies have shown it to be true over and over and over.

     One of the most dramatic and effective workshops regarding this concept is Jane Elliottsí "Brown Eyes, Blue Eyes". The exercise basically goes like this: the group is divided according to eye color. Since the blue-eyed people are "on the bottom" they are crowded into a small, hot room without enough chairs and watched by strict security. Jane Elliott leaves them for a long while without any information while she prepares the brown-eyed people to be "on the top." The brown-eyed people are given answers to test questions and instructed to demean the blue-eyed people. When the blue-eyed people are brought into the room, some are required to sit at the feet of the brown-eyed people as Jane Elliott treats them according to negative traits that are commonly assigned to people of color, women, lesbians and gay men, people with disabilities, and other non-dominant members of society. Jane Elliott is unrelenting in her ridicule and humiliation of the blue-eyed people. When participants express sadness, shame, or tears, she drills in the point that participants only have to live this reality during the workshop, while people of color receive this treatment for a lifetime. Despite the fact that the group is participating voluntarily and, to some extent, knows what to expect, it seems clear that the exercise is painful. The blue-eyed participants experience humiliation and powerlessness. The participants of color watch as white people learn what they already know to be true.
Elliott often said the goal of the exercise is to demonstrate how our perceptions about others influence how we treat them, which in turn influences their ability to perform. The self-fulfilling prophecy is used in the educational setting to show how minority and underprivileged students are prone to failure because that is what is expected of them and it becomes engrained in them on a daily basis. Eventually they do fail.

    So imagine what happens when you constantly tell YOURSELF negative things. When you keep having negative thoughts? When you have developed a negative self-concept? That is the person you become. If you THINK you are going to fail, you are going to fail. If you believe you cannot have a normal and healthy relationship, you wonít have one. If you donít believe you can get that promotion, you arenít gonna get it! It is true. You are what you eat. So, how do you stop yourself from having these negative thoughts? How do you combat a negative self-concept?

Talk Shit
     Thatís right. Talk shit. Talk trash. Constantly tell yourself that you are tha bomb. Keep positivity in everything concerning yourself. BE confident! There is a thin line between confidence and arrogance and conceit. You donít have to think you are BETTER than anyone, but you can feel you are the BEST there is. I am an EXTREMELY confident person and I talk a LOT of shit. My motto is if I donít have confidence in myself, who is going to have confidence in me? I am cocky. I constantly remind myself of my strengths. When I walk into a room I believe eyes are on me. When I am up for a job I tell myself I am the BEST applicant. When I step on stage I KNOW there is not a better MC on earth. I told you a few months ago to think BIG. If you are going to have a dream, why not have BIG dreams? I tell myself on a daily basis that I am MAJOR! I have told you BEFORE that I donít worry about things I cannot control. I try to eliminate drama. I keep things real simple. My mentality is a part of that. I do not pollute my mind with negative thoughts from ME. I know that throughout my life I will get PLENTY of negativity from OTHERS. Why on earth would I place negativity on myself? Think about it.
You were given some affirmations above that have worked for others, and they are very good. Let me give you some more affirmations, some that I use:

  • I am tha shit.

  • I am a good person.

  • I will not allow drama in my cipher.

  • I will eliminate negativity whenever possible, including negative people that hate and try to keep me down.

  • Nothing can stop me.

  • I deserve the things I want in life.

  • I am respected, liked, and loved.

  • I may not be the best, but there are none better.

  • I can be with whoever I choose, so I will not settle.

  • With God on my side there is nothing I cannot do or achieve.

     The next time you have a negative thought, check yourself and flip the script. Pop a lil shit. Brag and boast to yourself ABOUT yourself. YOU control your mental attitude. Donít let it control U!!
If you need help take a page from THE Diva of all divas when she said . . .

Runnin' hot, runnin' cold
I was runnin' into overload
It was extreme, ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-extreme
It took it so high, so low
So low, there was nowhere to go
Like a dream
Somehow the wires uncrossed, the tables were turned
Never knew I had such a lesson to learn
I'm feelin' good from my head to my shoes
Know where I'm goin' and I know what to do
I tidied up my point of view
I got a new attitude
"New Attitude" - Patti LaBelle

I hope you have a wonderful holiday for those of you that celebrate the upcoming holidays. I will be looking forward to seeing you in 2007.



Thank you for Reading Papi's Peace

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Good 4 U Food

Recipes for Good... Healthy Food

By: Xander - The Food Dude


Wrappin' It up, by Rippin' Up

     I guess for this article I wanted to take they time to talk (type?) about wrapping things up. At this time of the year our death cycle seems to kick into gear. No, I'm not referring to the morbid side of life, but rather our desire to end or stop certain aspects of our life, i.e. bad habits. Oh, the thought begins now, which then travels through the logic centers of the brain, which then confirm their validity as being possible, which then are conveyed to our decision center as yes we will do it. That is we will, think about a time to think about them again, to go through the entire process again. In January, we'll actually think about what all this thinking implies that we must do.

     What I wanted to do was to prompt each of you with a question at this especially unique time of the year. First, some observations of my own. As a child I would wonder of the fascinations of the joy of Christmas. Of course, when I was a child the Christmas season only lasted a month....December. Now I find it starts in August and travels through Easter every year. When I was a kid, China, Taiwan, and Japan made some of the best plastic toys in existence. Now, we made the lowest quality plastic toys that are responsible for the most injuries among kids. When I was a kid everybody had everything they needed. I knew this to be so, because I did. Now I'm older and more aware of the I know that more people need help that I can help. More people hurt than I can save. More people are lost than I can find. Geez, what a bummer I am !!!

     Having said all that, I know I can only do what I can, as with all of you. There, oddly are still a couple of activities that take me back to the child side of life. One is building the tree. The process of building the tree is like life itself. Making it the way you want adding essence to the living tree. With lights, tinsel, and more, the tree almost seems to come to life under the dance of visions that seem to give a pulse. The second thing is ripping open the packages. Much like the child I don't really care about what's in the package as long as it's a good rip (ok that was a lie, I do care what's in the package). Mom, I have enough socks!

     As I think about it more about it I think that we can be like that package. We want to tear away all of the stuff we want to leave behind in order to get to the stuff inside that really matters. And while we say we wish that we could just get to the stuff that really matters, without the rip it just wouldn't be that same. It's like the old axiom that says "if it was easy, it wasn't worth it". It's an interesting thinking point. In fact it may just be easy to accomplish. You've seen the person that very carefully takes their time removing the paper. You sit there ready to jump out of chair wanting to go over and help them along. The point is that the paper isn't sacred; it's the outer side of the prize, as with us. Those things that sometime we hold the dearest are in fact the most disposable. The outside doesn't qualify the gift that is inside each present, or inside each of us. It is up to us to make the journey to the inner prize. But the journey to the prize can be as satisfying. Our journey to the next year and next level with is littered with outer side left behind.

     Take a moment to think out the most satisfying rip you've had. Know that the best rip is yet to come, as is the greatest prize. It's all in you.....waiting to get out. May God Bless You and Your Families. Many Thanks for the Wonderful year of being with you.

Xander - The Food Dude

Xander's Recipe of the Month

Turkey Shepherd's Pie

     This recipe is incredibly tasty, filling and healthy for the holiday season. Bold flavors to keep you warm and filled while being very easy to make. Have fun with your own variations. It will feel like you've wrapped yourself up in old style cooking

Original recipe yield: 4 servings

ē 2 cups cubed cooked turkey
ē 3/4 cup turkey gravy
ē 1 cup shredded carrots
ē 1/2 Cup diced celery
ē 2 cups prepared stuffing
ē 1 (15.25 ounce) can whole kernel corn, drained
ē 2 cups warm mashed potatoes

1. In a greased 2-qt. baking dish, layer the turkey, gravy, carrots, stuffing and corn. Top with potatoes. Bake, uncovered, at 325 degrees for 45-50 minutes or until edges of potatoes are browned.

Servings Per Recipe: 4
Amount Per Serving
Calories: 511
ē Total Fat: 15.5g
ē Cholesterol: 55mg
ē Sodium: 1372mg
ē Total Carbs: 65.3g
ē Dietary Fiber: 8g
ē Protein: 29.7g


Thank you for Reading Good Food 4U

By Xander the Food Dude

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Large In Charge Guest Spot

We want to hear and see your talents!


One of our favorite parts of the newsletter.  The Guest Spot is for our readers to submit there talents to be viewed.  We want to see all you wonderful supporters making moves of your own.  If you write poetry, short stories, commentaries, or just thoughts in general, please submit them to us.  If your a designer we want to see pictures of your clothing.   We would love to include your talents in our newsletter.  We hope you take an active part in the L.I.C. newsletter. Send in your article, poetry, comments to -

NOTE: The Opinion of the writer is not always the opinion of The Large in Charge Staff.  We support the Right to all views.  We do not Condemn or Approve writing based on our personal thoughts.  We approve writing based on if the subject is a concern for the BBW / SSBBW / BHM Community.  Thank you for your writing and please send in those articles!  - The Large in Charge Staff

  How did a Super Sized Big beautiful Woman like me end up with an at home business? Sometimes I ask myself that and the answer amazes me.

A year a go I was working in corporate America, finishing my Masters degree in Accounting and Financial Management, traveling and enjoying life. Then it happened. I got sick. I was having a hard time driving, walking, standing and sitting for periods of time. The diagnosis was Diabetic Neuropathy, a condition that canít be cured but controlled through medication.

For a year of trying different pain medication and therapy I gained weight, was unable to work, I was depressed, and my savings was depleting. I needed something to do to keep my mind occupied, earn some income, and allow me the flexibility to work on days I felt good and still earn money on the days I didnít feel great. Sales were never my thing, but I did some research online for reputable at home businesses.

I found a lot of get rich quick schemes available, real estate opportunities, and sales. I found a established company whose products I love and used anyway, had a minimal start up investment, and a lot of local support available to me. Not only can I sell person to person, the company sponsors a website so I can sell to anyone in the states.

I liked the companyís core values about helping the world wide community and nurturing self esteem within all individuals. At that time in my life anything that boosted my confidence and esteem was greatly needed. When I signed up, I met some great women who are more caring and supportive than competitive when it came to selling. Since I already had a business background it wasnít hard for me to get organized, but I was a very shy person and found it hard to talk to people about buying things. I found out that if you like and believe in what youíre selling, itís not hard at all to present it to other people.

Iíve learned that when people say no thank you, itís not personal and for every person that says no there is a yes if you keep trying. Iíve learned how to be creative, how to set personal goals and the feeling of achievement. Iíve learned that an at home business, something that you are personally responsible for, can bring your positive assets to the spotlight. The best lesson Iíve learned is that life my throw you unexpected curves, but with faith, determination and perseverance (things donít work out overnight) a sexy, confident Super Sized Big Beautiful Woman can make money and enjoy life.

Kyla Foster -

 Free Raffle to Win a Gift from Kyla Foster... A Body Shop Shea Butter Body Set



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Ask Raqui

Ask your Questions and We will answer!

Send your question to Raqui -

NOTE: The Opinion of Raqui  is just that. I do not claim to be professional or to solve your problems.  I can however give you a real answer that may help you out.

Ask Raqui

Q:  Hey Raqui, hope all is doing you good.  I man started talking to me and told me he was a feeder.  I hear a lot of things about it can you give me your thoughts about feeders?

Southern Big Booty Gal

Raqui:  Well Southern,  I know many feeders and there is the good and the bad associations as with everything else.  Some people will say that feeders will pick a smaller woman and feed her until she is immobile and then he leaves her when she cant gain anymore.  To find another subject.  Others just enjoy to watch the woman eat and it makes them happy, even turns them on.  They think about feeding you and some want you to gain some don't they are open as far as the gaining thing.   Others day dream of you being full and content and it really makes them feel happy to touch you, hold you and make love to you when your full. 

    The thing is you need to find out if this feeders desire is the same as your own.  There are women who want to eat and gain.  Some just want to eat and stay the same.  You need to see if what this man is interested in fits your lifestyle.

     Personally I think there is a match for everyone and for every feeder there is a woman who can eat large amounts and be just fine with it.  As long as a feeder is not forcing someone into a lifestyle they don't like, or abandoning them to start on another person, then there is nothing wrong with it.  As they say to each there own.

Q:   For me this time of year is a major test on my self esteem.  Having to see people you don't see other times of the year.  You cant hide from them during the holidays.  Dealing with there judgment and looks.  What are some of the things I can do to help alleviate some of the stress and help my self esteem.  It seems to drop down low at this time of year... this makes me want to eat more and that just isn't the answer i know....

Samantha from NC

Raqui: Samantha, I can imagine how hard it is for you.  You are stuck with the same old traditions and you have to deal with things that you do not have to on a normal basis.  But to tell you the truth you have to start from inside.


     The judgment of others will always affect you weather it is family or strangers if you let it.  If they cant accept you for who you are and are going to look down their nose at you.  You should voice your feelings and if they cant make your holidays happy why are they allowed to make your holidays horrible.


     Make your own traditions and happiness.  If family are not the people who support you then look to your friends.  Make sure to have plenty of celebrations with friends so it makes that one day with family more bearable.  Don't have friends?  A little shy to invite someone over?  This is the time.  Have a pre x-mas party.  Invite people you know well and not so well over to just have fun.


     Fighting against using food during depression is hard for many.   I usually eat when I am happy. Celebration time is what makes me eat more.  You have to start seeing food as just that food.  This cant happen over night.  But you shouldn't dread the holidays no matter what.  Try to counter act the bad things with good things.  Find new friends, invite olds one, open your circle, all these options can make you happy.  Stay away from eating food when you feel bad.  Instead eat while your having fun and talking. When your hit in the face and feeling down and about to grab that extra plate.  This is the time you do something that makes you feel good.  It will take some time to think about it but there has got to be something that brings you joy that you can do.   Something to counter act the depression.


     There is no definite answer your going to have to experiment this year to figure out what you really liked and didn't and try again next year.  Don't just give in to the depression fight it and don't let it control you. You control it.



Q:   Lately, a lot of big girls I have met have a chip on their shoulder. At least the ones we have been coming across through traveling and just around town locally. Are big girls pissed off at all men in general?


JT - Raqui's #1 Fan!

Raqui:  JT some of us are.  Some of us are not.  All you can do is continue to be you and see if you happen to catch the eye of some amazing woman.  Yes after so many years being the under dog as far as women are concerned.  Now we are coming up and women know they are all that and deserve more.  Some of us do have a chip on our shoulders.

     I cant tell you if that chip is bad or good.  Being pissed off, well I think women in general are pissed off somewhat.  We are being treated more like animals and homeboys than women.   Men think a proper way to show a female they are interested is to hiss at her, do a cat call or approach like a gangsta with the "HOLLA at your Boy" at the end.  SHIT if a man tells me to Holla I will throw his number right in the garbage. 

     Women also have to be on the alert to the dangers with men.  Still you can be alert cautious and safe with out being mean to others.  Problem is men don't listen when we say No.  If we are not interested they want to know why.  We don't want to say you dress like a stupid asshole and your breath smells like a rotten ashtray.  No we don't want to disrespect anyone and tell them they stink or there face makes us want to throw up.  But after saying NO a few times you just have to come out with it.

     Still a true lady has to be a lady and if you approach them decently they should act decently.  If not move on and throw the thought of them in the box to the left. LOL


Q:  I love bbw but I find it hard to open up these days because I rarely find or meet someone honestly these days. most abuse my modesty even when they say they want an honest guy or someone that works.... I'm so clueless these days... plus my heart has been broken too much...


Raqui:  Your not alone.  Honesty is the one thing most people want.  And it is the hardest thing to get.  Most people don't have what it takes to be honest.  Most people cant take honesty.  They don't really want to hear the truth they want to hear there version of the truth.  I will include myself in that but I work hard to try and always be honest and to be ready to hear the truth.  It can be hard when the truth you have to say is not what they want to hear.  Hearing a truth you really don't want to hear can be just as bad.  But that is part of being an adult accepting honesty as it is, and giving the person credit for being able to tell you the truth.

     I always say the hard ugly truth is better than a pretty lie.  You have to take some time to heal from pain before you run off to find someone else.  Lay the cards on the line and if your ready to be honest you have to be ready for hard bumpy times.  You have to be ready to work it out.  The biggest fear for many is that they will be accused or judged for there honest feelings.  They will cause a rift an upset especially in love.

     You have to visualize what you want in a woman.  Hear it, see it and smell it.  How you will be treated and how you will treat them.  They say if you believe it will be.  If you ask you shall receive.  If you keep thinking I wish I had.  You will always be wishing.  But if you say I will meet her the perfect one for me and know what you want.  That will come to you.



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Fashion Furious

BBW/BHM Fashion of the Month

     We all hate how the Fashion Industry is just scratching the surface when it comes to Large Sized Fashion.  But I have found out that many clothing stores and online companies are beginning to take up the slack.  Creative BBW, SSBBW and BHM's are making there own clothing or mix matching and finding basic everyday wear and night club wear. 

     Making it affordable is what can be hard so showcase your wonderful finds here.  If your a regular shopper, sew your own clothing or a designer showcase your clothing here by submitting a picture for Fashion Furious of the month.


Fashion Furious of the Month

How to send in your Fashion Find. Send a Clear Picture as an attachment

and use the Format Below to describe your Fashion Furious picture.

Email to Raqui:

Fashion Find by: Raqui - great jeans that fit right yes they come in tall and the size 32 fits me. After a few wears they mold to your body.

Fashion Type: Jeans/Denim

Fashion Breakdown: Designed to be your favorite jeans! The stretch lightweight denim give these jeans a flexible fit while flattering your body.





Colors: 3

The Avenue -





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Large In Charge

Product of the Month!

What is good for Big Sized Bodies


    A very important and necessary part of LargeInCharge.  Find out what is helpful for big bodies.  Keep your self straight with some of our tips and tricks. Find out what other Big Sized people use to keep themselves smelling, feeling, looking, and living a proper life.  What kind of products are allowed. Anything that deal with the body. From cleaning aids to soap, lotions, powder, healing aids etc.  anything that can help a big body!

NOTE: The Opinion of those who submit items are not professional.  They are everyday people who found something that worked for them.  We are not held responsible for there opinion - The Large in Charge Staff

Send your favorite Item to be Product of the Month - Follow format below, include a picture of product (most can be found online) and Send to

Product of the Month



About the Product
Recommender:  Raqui - A book that I believe all people of size who might have a problem
with Hygiene or who want to prevent Hygiene problems should have.
Name of Product:  Ample Hygiene for Ample People

Type of Product: Book/Booklet

Cost of Product: $5.50

Where Product can be found: 

Description: 20-page booklet gives you a personal regimen that can help you feel fresh all 
day. It's full of tips for dealing with odor problems, fold irritations, chafing, difficulty in 
reaching, and more! By Nancy Summer. Willendorf Press.
Why I like this Product: Educational to say the least. Someone has to teach us how to take care
of our bodies.



Send in your Product recommendation to

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