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Congratulations to our Febuary Raffle Winner: April Stanley from the Bronx New York

Issue #36 - March 2007

Welcome to the Large In Charge Newsletter


In this Issue of L.I.C


Feature & Cover Model of the Month - Fat Momma of "Who wants to be a Super Hero"


Cover Model Search - Be a LargeInCharge Cover Model, last chance enter now!


Plus Sized Writing Contest - Enter Now and win Cash and Prizes.


Raqui's Spot - Climbing out of the Hole... Have a Goal


Super Sized Sounds - Mele Mel & Super Sized Spanishfly Lynx


From the Plus Side - Whatever Finds Her ~ Emily Smiltneck


Why, OH Why - Put a Sock in it! ~ Diabolique Belle


Papi's Peace - Results or Reasons


Good 4 U Food - Who do you Choose to be? ~ Xander


Guest Spot - My Cancer Story by Kimba


Fashion Furious - Fashion Finds with Plus Size style.  Submit a Find!


Product of the Month -  Products for People of Size


Ask Raqui - Get some advice from one Big person to another.


FREE RAFFLE - Autographed Fat Momma Stuff!


Events & Pictures - Events, Parties, Press Releases, Pic's & More.


LargeInChargeDating - Dating for the Large People who are going to be in Charge of their Love Lives!


LargeInCharge Friends - The Place for Big People to make Friends and maybe MUCH MORE!

Feature of the Month and Cover Model

Fat Momma


Who wants to be a Super Hero!


Fat Momma and Raqui in NYC

Fat Momma - Who wants to be a Super Hero!


     FAT MOMMA to the RESCUE.  Since her debut on the Sic-Fi channel on the show "Who wants to be a Super Hero. Fat Momma (Nell Wilson) has taken the world by storm by embodying what a super hero is.  Beating out the competition she completed more challenges than her smaller counter parts and made it to the finals in which she came in second place.


     She goes on to set an example for not only plus sized people but children as well. They now will grow up seeing people of size as more than weight. 


     She stands up in the face of adversity and fights on behalf of the weak for the common good. Fat Momma is an example for all plus sized people who don't believe they can.  She took a chance and now has national fame for a simple yet well needed message ACCEPTANCE!


   Acceptance at any size, limitless possibilities if you choose.  Fat Momma shows that brains are better than body.  And if you have a plus sized body then you are just that A BIG PLUS.  No minuses in this real life super hero's heart.  We wish you continued success.


Fat Momma speaks to the Kids


Fat Momma natural,  Fat Momma Screen Saver,  The Cast,  Don't touch my Doughnuts,  Fat Momma with Family and Children

Interview with Fat Momma What is your Name real/staged?

Fat Momma: My name is Nell Wilson better know as Fat Momma What is your hometown and current location?

Fat Momma: I was born and raised and still reside in California. Were you a child of size growing up?

Fat Momma: Growing up I was not a plus size. When I graduated from High School, I weighed around 135 and wore a size 9-10. But I thought I was fat because my friends and society made me feel like I was overweight. What type of household did you grown up in? Was it a size positive household?

Fat Momma: I come from a large family. I have 5 sisters and 4 brothers, all by the same parents. We grew up happy and did everything together as a family. We even dressed alike with clothes my mom made for us. We are all one year a part so people knew us and never messed with us because they knew we were close and if you got one, you got the whole group. It was like a black Brady bunch.


     We went to church every Sunday and were middle class. My father worked as a photographer and my mother stay home and took care of the kids. We always had someone around if we had a problem. So I grew up very confident and secure. What is your household like now? children, married, career etc.

Fat Momma: I am a single parent of three very lovely kids. two girls and a boy. There ages are 4,14 and 22. I work from home running a business I started on my own and the kids help contribute to the household by doing print work and commercials in their spare time.


     I use to be a social worker and I loved that as well, but I believe that every household needs to have a full time parent, kids need to have someone to come home to and not just a sitter or a TV. I stopped working and thought of a business I could run from the home, that way I can take them to and from school and be their to help them with their homework. Now my life is a little different after the show, I am traveling a lot more and doing autographs and tours. But, I still include my children in my plans and we do things as a group. Would you consider your lifestyle to be Size Positive?

Fat Momma: I begin to gain weight after I was married at 21. I was happy and full of life, but I had a husband that was into your looks more than who you are on the inside. When I had my first child, he begin to change as I gained weight I noticed he went out more on his own and treated me different. I became angry and figured, "I'll fix him", so as I gained more and more weight. I looked at it as I wanted someone who would love me as I am, not for what I looked like.


     When I was smaller he would take me around his dad and friends and show me of. He would say things like " turn around" and show them my butt. That made me mad as hell. But I never told him. So, when his attitude changed as I got larger, I was happy not to be a show horse anymore. But then one day I looked in the mirror and saw a completely different person and that's when I knew I was overweight.


     At first it made me mad to think about how I let people make me feel bad about myself. Then learned that it was all up to me. I went on different diets and would lose weight but would always gain it back sooner or later. I was not happy. Once I gave up the diet battle and accepted myself for who I was not what I looked like. My world started to change. I suddenly felt good about myself. I now longer worry about what you think of me. I love me and that's all that counts. Then I saw the greatest gift of all, I was accepted for who I was. I have tons of friends and people in my life, and they like me for me. My kids love me and never felt bad or ashamed to be around me.


     Some people like to portray kids as being embarrassed when they are with a large parent. But it is all in the way you feel about yourself. If you are ashamed of yourself it comes out in your children. They learn from us. They mock our behavior. When you are confident they are confident. That is where Fat Momma's character comes in to play. My kids and I made up the idea an we thought it would be a great way to get a message out to the world that you need to be happy with what God gave you. The public knows you as Fat Momma from the show "Who wants to be a Super Hero", what inspired you to try and be a part of this Reality series?

Fat Momma: My children inspired me to try out for the show. My 14 year old saw the advertisement on the computer and we started talking about what kind of super hero we would be. I said" I'm fat and I'm a Momma so I'll be Fat Momma. We all laughed and started brain storming on ideas. I went into the bedroom and pulled out a swimsuit and some spandex pants and shirt and put on my 4 year olds batman cape and came out singing the fat momma song. We started adding verses to the song and that's how the song was born. My 22 year old dared me to go to the audition and of course I won the bet. What is Fat Momma's motto?

Fat Momma: I'm ridding the world of Bullies one donut at a time. When you applied to be a part of the show, did you think you would be considered seriously? or did you think they might pass you over because you were a person of size?

Fat Momma: I thought the whole show was a joke to be serious. I looked at it like a bunch of grown men and women running around thinking they were superheroes was just crazy. I looked at it as an opportunity to be seen on National Television and get my message across. I wanted the world to stop looking at Fat people as a handicap. I feel that we can do what ever we put our minds to. I didn't expect to get the response I did. My character became one of the most popular on the show. I received thousands of email from fans after the show thanking me for being myself and standing up for large people and anyone who has been discriminated against because of the way they look. Would you say your experience on the show was positive most of the time?

Fat Momma: My experience was very positive. Everyone loved me and we all worked well together. From the camera crew down to hair and make up treated me with much respect and always praised me after each challenge. When I did my task everyone was surprised to see me keep up with the others and even beat them at many of the tasks. It was about using your head more than a physical thing. As each player went out I realized that I could possibly win this thing.


     When I first went out for the show, I thought I might be out within the first couple of tasks. Everyone else was so fit and strong looking. But after meeting and talking with the other contestants, I realized that some of them were there for fame and others for one thing in mind, winning a contest. I was there from the start to get my message across and that is what helped me make it to the end of the game. Did you ever feel that you were treated differently as a person of size?

Fat Momma: No. I feel like the show was put together very well. Scott Satin did a great job coming up with the games. They were well thought out and he didn't make them were you had to be a certain size to win. He made them were people watching could see what you are really made out of. For instance the first challenge was to go through the park and change into your superhero clothes without being seen and get through the finish line. Well most of the players had one thing in mind. Making the best time. Little did they know there was a crying child at the end who lost her mom. Most of the players ran right by her. I on the other hand saw her as I was running towards her and didn't think twice about losing out on the race, I saw someone in need of help and ran towards her and helped her out. Isn't that what a real superhero would do? Did you have to be away from your family while on the show?

Fat Momma: Yes. We had to live in the house for two weeks. No phone calls or anything from the outside. That was the hardest part for me. Near the end I really got homesick and missed my kids. I have never left my 4 year old before and thought of him constantly. I knew the older ones understood what I was doing and wanted me to stay there as long as possible, but the baby, well that just broke my heart to think of him wondering where I was. On top of that, he sleep with me at night. I really got kind of down the day we went to City Walk. We walked up and the little kids were running and playing in the water that shoots up and that is his favorite thing in the world to do. I became so sad thinking about them. But I knew there was only a few more days left and I kept my head up and made it to the end. What are some of the hardest experiences while on the show?

Fat Momma: The hardest was being separated from my kids. The second was when we had to walk across the plank. we all thought for sure it was real because earlier they show us the men working on it and we were looking down from the top of the building. I knew I had to try and I knew if we fell we would be safe so I set my mind to do it and when I reach the other end, I was so proud of myself and knew my kids would be proud of me as well. When they took the blindfolds off, I could have just screamed when I saw we were just on the roof top. What was the most fun and things you liked the best about being on the show?

Fat Momma: The best and most rewarding part of the show was when we did the classroom challenge. I love kids and being around them. So when they picked Fat Momma as their favorite Superhero that made me feel very proud. I was rewarded by serving them cookies and punch and signing autographs for each of them. That was the highlight of the show for me. Did you love the costume they made for you?

Fat Momma: Yes. When I took the blindfold off and saw myself for the first time. I was shocked. I loved the corset and the design they came up with. I had to get use to the face make-up it and the hair do but the costume was just my cup of tea. What type of response have you had from the plus sized community?

Fat Momma: I have had a great response from other plus size women. They write and tell me how they feel better about being the size they are. I have also had people come up to me off the street and ask for a hug or just want to let me know I made a difference in their life. To me that's what it was all about. I am not trying to tell people to stop dieting or taking care of themselves. I am telling them to be happy with yourself and the rest will follow. When you start loving yourself the rest will fall into place. How far did you get in the show?

Fat Momma: I am happy to say, I made it to the end. I was in the final two. Feedback won and I came in second. I was very please with Stan's decision. Feedback's dream was to be a Superhero. He has had that dream since he was a little boy. My dream was to get my message across to others. In my heart we both won. Who could ask for more. I plan on having a comic out soon and it will try to teach others about caring and how to deal with bullies. Did you find your competition hard to beat?

Fat Momma: My competition was not hard to beat. I feel each player went out in their own way. Life is funny and to me it is all pre-planned. Everything happens for a reason. Winning is not everything. Sometimes you have to look at the large picture. You are only limited by your own actions. You believe and it shall come to you. Have faith in yourself and life and everything you want will be at your finger tips. Who is your favorite Super Hero on the set outside of yourself?

Fat Momma: In order to answer this questions I would have to give several names. I couldn't pick between them because each one brought something wonderful in my life. I loved Feedback because he was so child like and true. I loved Major Victory because he made me laugh and is always there when you need someone to talk to. And I love Tyveculus because he is a good man and helps build confidence in you. Each of them became great friends to me and I plan to have them as friends for life. Do you still keep in contact with your fellow Super Hero's?

Fat Momma: Yes. We have became good friends. I also keep my word and had a BBQ and had the others over. We laughed and talked about the show and had a great time together. I talk to Feedback, Major Victory, Tyveculus and Nitro almost every night. Once I told Feedback I needed to clean my garage and Feedback made a couple of calls and the gang was over there helping me out. I feel like we are a family. If one of us gets down, the others are on the phone trying to see how they can help out. It was a very rewarding show. I feel blessed to have met each and every Hero. Tell us how being on the show has changed your life?

Fat Momma: Being on the show has changed my life in many ways. I have had the opportunity to go out into the community and give things back. I have been booked on tours to talk to our youth. I have been able to travel to places \around the world, I have been invited to fabulous parties and even to the Fox Reality Remix awards. My kids are really loving the attention as well. What type of appearances and honors have you received?

Fat Momma: I was invited to the Fox Reality Remix Awards, My original costume was put on display at a museum in New York called MOOCA. I have been invited to several comic conventions like, New York Comic Con, Florida Super Con, Big Apple Con, Philadelphia is having me speak at a tribute to African American Heroes and many other functions. It has truly been a blessing. What is up and coming as far as your appearances and travels?

Fat Momma: You can look for me at most of the conventions. So far Florida, New York , San Diego, Philadelphia, San Francisco. More to follow. You can see an update at How does your family and friends feel about your new Fat Momma fame?

Fat Momma: Everyone is truly happy for me. From family to friends to my kids school. When I go into the playground you can hear the little voices say "Hi Fat Momma" The teacher had to put a sign on the gate for the parents, they thought the kids were being mean calling me fat. So she put a sign up about the show and the parents just love it. I want the world to stop thinking of Fat as a bad word. We are the ones that makes things good or bad. Fat is just something we have on us not a bad word. You are what you are. If my kids come home from school and say someone called them fat I tell them, well honey you are fat, what's wrong with that. Once you accept what you are the person has to move on. They can no longer tease you about something that doesn't bother you. Have you ever had any bad comments from Haters out there?

Fat Momma: There was a article or two about my being the joke of the show. But most people have been very positive about the show and my character. The whole show was suppose to be a joke, people didn't expect to fall in love with the show but they just did. It was true reactions to everyday people and that is what they feel in love with. I don't let negative thought get in my way. I only have time for positive thoughts and good friends. Let the haters spend their life hating, it only eats you up inside and makes you ugly on the outside. Positive energy spreads faster and makes you feel so much better on the inside that you shine on the outside. Do you feel that you and Fat Momma are one person. Or do you take on a different persona when you appear as Fat Momma?

Fat Momma: I am Fat Momma and that's why it was so easy to do the show, I didn't have to try and change, I just had to be myself. I wanted to make sure that when I went home my kids were proud of me, and that they were. If there is anything you could change about the whole experience what would it be?

Fat Momma: I wouldn't change a thing. Give us some words to all the Plus sized people who are reading this right now.

Fat Momma: Believe in yourself, love yourself and trust yourself. If you can do that you can do anything. You are only limited by yourself not others. Set goals that you want to reach for you, not for others. Demand that people respect you for who you are, not for what they want you to be. It's time for us to take our lives back, stop feeling sorry for yourself and make a stand. How can the public get in contact with you and find out more about you?

Fat Momma: You can check me out at or on myspace at I also have a link to my store where you can get you own fat momma gear at Give us one word that best describes what Fat Momma represents?

Fat Momma: I use three: Keep it Real !!!!   


Thank you for Reading The LargeInCharge Feature

Please send thoughts and comments to

Cover Model of the Month

Cover Model Search for 2007

Last Month of the search.



     It has been almost three years since LargeInCharge opened its online doors to the Big World.  We started with 740 readers March 2004.  We have built up to over 70,000 readers a month.  We have continuously given the Big World article after article.  Fashion tips and clothing companies.   Hot events and self esteem advice. Interesting information and cool products.  We have changed, grown and become better.


     Last year was our first Cover Model Search, here we are doing it again.  The response was amazing.  The entries plentiful.  Yes we want to do it again.  At the end of the year we will have a voting poll and the one Cover Model who receives the most votes will win Cash and or Prizes from some wonderful Big World companies.


     Being a LargeInCharge cover model can be a great add on to your comp card or resume.  It can also be a feather in the cap of aspiring models.  So many beautiful and handsome big men and women who are not professional models can now be featured where they will be appreciated.  NO MORE SIZE 20 or 2XL ONLY MODELS.  AGE DOESN'T MATTER.  NO MORE FETISH ONLY PICTURES. We like them professional and in all sizes INCLUDING SUPER SIZED.  There are no limits with us.




How to Enter the Search

NOTICE - Follow the Directions carefully, if you have a question you can email me and ask before you send in your entry.  Any Entries that are not sent in properly will be thrown out. Last year time was wasted because people did not ready the instructions. Take the time to send in your entry properly.

Send In the following - You must send at least one of each.

  • One or more Head shot Black & White / Color - in your modeling attire
  • One or more Full body shot Black & White / Color - in your modeling attire

Type of pictures

  • Digital or scanned pictures only
  • The Picture must represent you in your Current State
  • Pictures must be of one person, no group shots.
  • Pictures of Big Males and Females only.
  • Pictures must be clear with no watermarks.
  • Pictures cannot be smaller than 5x7
  • Pictures must be tasteful and fully clothed - Swimsuit and tasteful lingerie is allowed.
  • No
  • Nude is not allowed unless it is artistic.  No private areas shown.

Picture Categories - You can send in pictures for any of the below categories

  • Winter - Winter wear, coats etc. and Seasonal type of clothing, costumes and colors.  Winter backgrounds scenes
  • Spring - Spring wear, sweaters etc. bright, airy, wind blown. Spring backgrounds scenes
  • Summer - Swimsuits, wraps, summer dresses. Summer background scenes
  • Fall - Fall colors and sweaters.  Earthy natural settings. Fall Colors.
  • Ethnic - Ethnic prints and colors.  Ethnic combinations of fabric and prints.  Jewelry
  • Business - Suite and tie. City backgrounds
  • Sporty - Sports clothing of all types. participating in sports. Jogging, walking, basketball, football, Skating. Etc
  • Exercise - In exercise outfits, gym scene etc.
  • Gothic - Gothic clothing and costumes etc.

Solid backgrounds are also acceptable in all categories.  You can send in as many pictures of you in different categories as you desire.


When you send in your pictures include the following information:







Email address:

Contact phone number:



and the BELOW statement : 


By submitting my pictures to the Cover Model Search. I am allowing to use my images as they see fit.  I reserve rights to my pictures.  YOUR NAME AND DATE HERE


What will I receive if I am picked

  • You will receive a 8x10 printed copy of our Monthly Cover in which your featured.
  • You will receive a free Comp Card made just for your professional use by
  • You will be interviewed for the Month you appear as our Cover Model and remain in our database.
  • You will be entered in our Yearly Cover Model contest to win Cash and or Prizes at the end of the year.

Ready to Enter?

Search is over March 2007

Sponsors for our 2006 Cover Model Winner

Our Sponsors for the 2006 Cover Model Search:

  • & - Free Web-design for your own website including two updates (does not include hosting) - Total Value 500.00

  • - Free Entrance into the Wilkes BBW Philly Pageant plus Hotel Accommodations. - Total Value $300.00

  • - Free One Year Pass to all the BiggerAndBetterThangs Parties for the Winner & a Guest (Location NYC), A gift of the Winners choice from the BiggerAndBetterThangs Store. - Total Value $300.00

  • - New Monster Portable Chair Holds up to 1000 lbs. The Strongest Folding Chairs on the Planet - Total Value $110.00

  • - Custom made MySpace layout. Total Value $100.00

  • - Two piece outfit including Animal print top with sheer sleeves and black capri pants - Total Value $95.00

  • - Best Selling Author Mary Monroe's Most recent works "Borrowed Trouble" and "God Don't Play".  Autographed Copies - Total Value $50.00

  • - An Assortment of adorable small handbags perfect for clubbing - Total Value $40.00

  • - The Wedding Planners with Class and Elegance.  A Gift Certificate to Spafiners. - Total Value $25.00

  • - Cash Prize for our Winner - Total Value $25.00

  • - Author of "Fat Chicks Rule" a must have resource for all Fat Chicks.  Autographed copy.  Total Value $15.00


Thank you for Finding out more about our Cover Model

Please send thoughts and comments to

Raqui's Spot

This months Subject:

Climbing out of the Hole - Have a Goal


Climbing out of the Hole -Having a Goal

     Many times in life we feel as though nothing we do can go right.  A sore spot turns into tragedy.   Sometimes we are bombarded by negativity and we feel as though we are throwen into a deep hole. Repressed and suffocated,  we don't see the way out.  We want to wallow in the pain, wallow in the negative thinking.  Feeling sorry for yourself is addictive.  Being the victim a role that is played well because it gives you the attention you need at the moment.


     It can be ok to wallow at times but you cant allow it to be a way of life.  Difficulties in life while they are hard and unfair happen.  They happen to make you a better stronger person, if you learn your lessons well you will be able to throw the positive up against the negative and battle it out for your own good.


     Being plus sized often gives us multiple difficulties we have to face.  Trying to keep yourself,  mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually sane is a task that is daunting.  Especially when the whole world is telling you "YOUR NOT GOOD ENOUGH".  Societies message is constant and loud.  Happiness is a picture and you don't fit the mold.  Fat people cant be happy they say, because  your fat.  You don't fit into the picture of happiness.  Happiness is only for the pretty, slim, young people.  Not you, you could never be happy because your not good enough.  You dont fit the picture that society posts on every bill board, commercial, tv show, magazine and advertisement.  Conform, change yourself on the outside, and be like us then you will be happy.


     The message is out there and it seems that most people believe it.  Even those of us who are bigger in body.  No wonder we cant see a way out of the hole.  It is so bad that even those of us who are positive cant convince the hurt and humiliated.


     I cant tell you how many people I have met in crossing.  Some plus sized and some not who cant see there way out of the hole.  Not only do they not see the way out but they have a defeatist attitude.  No matter what you say, they refuse to try.  Every excuse used to not have to face the fact that happiness depends on them.  Your happiness depends on you and no cookie cut image will get you happiness.  You can only achieve it from the inside out.


     Well this month I am not accepting any excuses from anyone.  I have heard them all, it is time to change.  It is time to make yourself feel good about something.  It is time to change your perception of yourself.  By achieving you will notice that you feel better.  By making yourself feel better you can make others feel better, and I am here to show you a way.  Size will not stop you unless you let it.  So today I am challenging you to set a goal and get out of your hole.


I have two sites I want to share with you: - This website I found while searching and it is really great.  You register and then type in something you want to do.  It doesn't have to be big.  You can share in the goals of others.  If you see something listed that you have done, you can also click the option that says "I HAVE DONE THIS". 


     You can make a post of your goal and why you want to achieve it and share your progress with others who have the same goal.  You can help each other achieve it.  One of the best features I enjoy are CHEERS.  You can click cheer and let someone know that you support there goal and even comment to give them support.  It doesn't matter if what you want to do is big or small.  A lot of these goals can be done at home.  When you have completed one of the things on your list you click I HAVE DONE THIS and you can state if it was worth it or not.


     Some of you may say, how does completing some little silly goals help me?  It is the feeling of accomplishment.  Start with small things and slowly you will advance to bigger things.  The same way wallowing and feeling sorry for yourself is addictive.  So is feeling good.  If you can teach yourself to over come obstacles then you will see things differently.  Instead of saying "DAMN, I cant do that!"  You will begin to say  "HMMMMM, I wonder how I can find a way to do this"?   BIG DIFFERENCE!


Some of my 43 things I want to accomplish Some of the things I have accomplished

take singing lessons 424 people

donate my hair 115 people

Learn Spanish 7897 people

Get a tattoo 10225 people

Learn to whistle with my fingers 706 people

buy a house or condo 42 people

travel to the carribean 13 people

Learn a martial art 888 people

remember people's names 270 people


Pay it Forward 339 people W

get married 9520 people

  - This site has helped me a great deal.  The whole purpose is to give RAOK (Random Acts of Kindness).  The small things you can do for complete strangers in which you receive nothing in return but the feeling that you did something good for someone else.  This has such a positive affect.  Most people often do Random Acts of Kindness for others with out thinking about it.  But this site helps you have a purpose.  A place to share your stories.  Be inspired by others stories and try different ways to give RAOK.  The best feature is Smile Cards.  You can earn points for printed smile cards. People have donated money to print these wonderful Smile cards that you can use when your doing RAOK.  You can also donate if you wish to help others get printed cards that help bring joy to others.  Bringing a smile to someone can make you feel very good about yourself. 


     Giving RAOK gives you power in a proper way.  The power to bring joy and happiness to others, and in return you feel so much better about yourself.  Many times we feel as though we have no control in this world.  Can you image now through a Random Act of Kindness to have a powerful positive affect on someone's life.  Something they will remember for a long time to come.  Maybe even inspiring them to show a Random Act of Kindness to another person.  Even the smallest RAOK counts. Combat the negativity in your life by practicing and teaching others how to give Random Acts of Kindness.


Some ideas for RAOK:

  • Put some change into a meter that you see it is about to expire.

  • Send a smile card from the site above to a random person out of the phone book.

  • Buy a extra meal or cook an extra plate of food and give it to a homeless person.

  • Help someone bag there groceries at the super market.

  • Donate items for those in need.

  • Volunteer - at a clinic, hospital, nursing home or school.

  • SMILE - sometimes just smiling at people can make them feel better.


      I hope that you all try to achieve your goals and do for others.  It will chance your life.




Thank you for Reading Raqui's Spot

Please send thoughts and comments to

Super Sized Sounds



     Super Sized Sounds will be a Music Column that will feature those who are in the industry or up and coming who are size positive. Giving recognition to the plus sized people who are out there and showcasing themselves.  Reviews, Interview, News and more from our new writer Super Sized Spanishfly Lynx.


      Lynx Garcia, also known as "SUPERSIZE SPANISHFLY", is a Latina BBW from Queens NYC.  Lynx is an activist speaking out against size discrimination and began performing back in 1996 at social events for big beautiful women and big handsome males and their admirers. Her special mixture of sound held true as she sang, spat, danced and performed spoken word, soon she was in demand by Big and Beautiful parties nationwide.  Lynx taking her "look" and sound mainstream was rejected because of her size. She did not let this break her spirit, hurt her confidence or minimize her drive. Instead she rose up and started a public access show (LYNX' LAIR) aired in Queens on TIME WARNER QPTV . Combination of comedy and sexy style, she showcased underground artists of all walks of life. The response to her show was less than a year she has showcased many artist, some who moved to bigger and better things.


     Currently Lynx has caught the attention of Joey Mekkah of BLACK SOLARIS ENTERTAINMENT and found herself on the Grandmaster MELLE MEL's SOLO ALBUM "MUSCLES" featured on the hot latin hip-hop track called 'DIMELO", she is the only collaboration on the album. Lynx recently has started her own radio show on EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO.COM  called Ladies Night. EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO is #1 on the itunes network.




MARCH 7th, 2007 @ 12:30 pm

J&R Music NYC


Meet Mele-Mel

and Super Size SpanishFly Lynx


            Grandmaster Mele-mel Instore performance & Signing at J&R Music NYC




Grandmaster Mele Mel, lyrical leader of the original Furious Five, will perform and sign autographs for fans at J&R Music and Computer World (23 Park Row) on Wednesday, March 7 at 12:30 PM in support of his brand new album "Muscles" which is his first venture on his own Big Gunz Entertainment imprint. As the lead vocalist of Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five, Mele Mel is also credited with the first socially conscious rap song "The Message" and was recently voted "The Greatest Rapper Of All Time" in a poll of his peers run by BBC News.

Emerging as a teenager in the Bronx in the late 1970s, the birthplace of Hip-Hop culture, Mele Mel was the first MC superstar of Hip-Hop. Over the course of his long career, Mele has been sought after by luminaries Chaka Khan, U2, Quincy Jones, Duran Duran, the late 2Pac, Funkadelic, The Last Poets and many others. In 2007, Mele Mel will release the first solo album of his career to show his love for music and illustrate his diversity as an artist. Among other achievements in 2007, Mele Mel is being inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame, and is pursuing a wrestling career in the WWE as a natural development of his bodybuilding and fitness regimes. Mele Mel has won three Grammy Awards and is the first Hip-Hop inductee (with his group) into the prestigious Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame.







12:30 PM (Media arrive at 12:00PM)

Also Supersize Spanishfly Lynx the only featured artist on the album will be there to meet and greet.. Meow!!!

For more information on the in-store autograph signing or J&R Music and Computer World, please contact Gillian Kocher of Dan Klores Communications at 212-685-4300

Want to send in your Voice in for review? Are you a singer, rapper, or poet who performs spoken word?  Up and Coming, already established?  Contact Lynx through her Myspace page or email and all information will be forwarded to her (PUT "FOR LYNX" IN THE SUBJECT AREA) 

You must be a Size Positive Artist, If you are chosen for Review you agree to donate your submission for the Non Profit Org Second Skin which is in development.

Thanks for reading

Super Sized Sounds with Lynx


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From the Plus Side


Emily Smiltneck

     From the Plus side will be column dedicated to short stories that deal with all aspects of Plus size Life.  Emily Smiltneck was chosen for this position because of her dedication, and realistic writing style. She captures the emotional and mental rollercoaster those who are Plus Sized go through.


     Emily Susanne Smiltneck lives in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan (pretty much dead center in the middle of nowhere). She is a substitute teacher, and has recently started a tutoring business. Emily is currently working on several writing projects, including a historical fiction novel and several collections of poetry.


Whatever Finds Her

     “BBW Looking For Whatever Finds Her” she typed in the space labeled “headline.” No, she thought, that’s not right. That’s a lie. Why BBW? Not all of us are Big Beautiful Women. That implies that just because we are fat, we must also be beautiful. If we are supposed to accept our fatness, celebrate it, why can’t we accept our ugliness, too? Why do we have to pretend to be beautiful?

And the rest is a lie, too. “Seeking Whatever Finds Her”- right. I want a man who is smart and who is funny and who isn’t embarrassed to be seen with me in public, a man who doesn’t live thousands of miles away, a man who- God, I never thought these words would form in my brain- likes me for me, not just for my body. That’s so sad, so ironic, really, that it almost makes me laugh. Everyone knows a fat girl is a fate worse than death, even worse than celibacy, to any man. But there are those few out there, that tenth of a percent of the men in the world, who like us. To ninety-nine percent of those ones, though, we are all the same- interchangeable. As long as we are fat chicks, we might just as well be axe murderers; they don’t care.

She looked at the computer screen again, then rested her chin on her fat, fleshy mounds of breasts and exhaled violently. I just lied, she thought, and I have told the same lie a hundred times before, on every dating website I have ever found with BBW or fat in its name. Those other dating sites, the ones that advertise million-question surveys guaranteed to help you find true love, are useless to me. Men who like fat chicks, BBWs, chubbies, whatever you want to call us, are embarrassed about it. They don’t advertise on sites where famous guys who call themselves doctors will draw attention to them.

I can’t believe I lied. Especially since the same lie has never gotten me anywhere before. What’s wrong with me? Maybe it’s not a lie. After all, I am lying naked on my bed, which is dressed in flannel rubber ducky sheets and cat fur, at three in the morning, propped up on a pile of pillows in front of my laptop, crying, while I lie my way through filling out profiles on fat chick dating sites. This must be the true definition of the word desperate. I really am looking for whatever finds me, anything.

She clicked the submit button on the screen in front of her, shut down her computer, closed it, pushed it aside. She rested her head on her pile of pillows and cried, loudly, deeply, in great gulps and sobs. shudders. After minutes or hours or maybe days, she fell asleep with her cat rubbing his head against her teary cheeks.

She opened her eyes. No more tears, but God did they burn. That’s what I get for crying all night, she thought. Slowly, she got out of her warm cocoon of a bed and lumbered into the bathroom, where she settled herself on the toilet, stomach resting on her thighs. She sat there and blinked for a while, trying to find the sadness, the grief, the desperation, that she had been drowning in the night before. Hard as she tried, with the sunlight streaming in through the bathroom window to warm her puffy cheeks, she could not summon it. With a sigh that balanced somewhere between relief and sorrow, she stood up and went back into her bedroom. She opened her computer, turned it on, and resumed her position, propped up on pillows in front of the screen.

These things never work, she thought, never. If I meet someone, they want to see me on my webcam, or call me on the phone. Then I get all nervous and after a chat or two, they never talk to me again. Why should this be any different? I shouldn’t get my hopes up.

Still, she logged into her e-mail with a sense of anticipation. Five new e-mails- maybe I got a response, she dared to think. The first three were junk mail- Viagra, important stock news, and Mastercard. The next one was from her sister. The fifth, though, was from Her breath caught for a second as she opened the message. She closed her eyes and listened to her heart beat. Finally, slowly, she opened them. “Dear Alice,” she read, “Thank you for joining Your password is…” Of course, there were no responses yet.

Hoping she would have a response 12 hours- no, she saw, looking at her alarm clock, only 8 hours- after she had posted her profile was just silly. Still, she couldn’t help hoping. I’m twenty-eight years old, she thought, haven’t I waited long enough? Twenty-eight years with no boyfriends, no dates, no kisses, nothing. Well, except for in the eighth grade, for about a week, but that never really counted. He was even more desperate than I was. It just doesn’t seem fair that there are murderers in prison who have potential lovers waiting for them when they are released and there is no one in the entire world for me.

Once again, she shut her computer down with a sigh.

“I don’t have a webcam right now,” she typed, then paused and reconsidered. Had she already told him she had one? She deleted the words. “I am at a friend’s house,” she typed this time, “So I don’t have my webcam.”

“Can you go get it?” iheartphatchix typed back, “Or go home?”

“No.” She paused again. “I am babysitting for her kids and I can’t leave.” More lies. I wish I could just give him what he wants, she thought. I wish I could be brave enough, bold enough, to just turn on the webcam, but what if he never speaks to me again? It’s not like I even know the guy, but still- I don’t want to take the risk. At least if he chats with me, I can pretend there is someone who is interested in me, someone who I might potentially get to know some day. It’s nice to be able to pretend, anyway.

She waited for iheartphatchix to respond, but after 5 minutes she gave up and closed the messenger window. She’d screwed up again. But why had he been so insistent? I’m not just some sex object for him to get off on, she thought, I am a real person and I am just as cool as anyone else. Why couldn’t he have been happy just talking to me, getting to know me?

As she sadly considered her situation, a new messenger window opened up on her screen. She looked up, expecting to see a response from iheartphatchix. Instead, she saw, “Hey, what’s up?” and the screen name was fullmetalphoenix.

“Not too much,” she responded. “You?”

“Not 2 much. I found ur profile on Thought Id say hi.”

“Cool. Where are you from?”

“I live in Ann Arbor. U?”

“I live way up north. Escanaba. What’s your name? How old are you? Whatcha looking for on here?”

“Jon, 23, just 2 meet peeps. U?”

“I am Alice, I’m 28, and my profile pretty much says it all.”

“U lik black guys?”

“Um, I guess so. I mean, I don’t like black better than white or vice versa, really, but I guess I do sorta have a thing for guys with dark skin.”

“That coo’ So it don’t bug u if I am?”

“No, of course not. So what are you looking for in a woman? Like, describe your dream woman.”

“OK. U evr watch boy meets world?”

“Yeah, I used to watch it all the time.”

“U no Topanga?”

“Yeah, I love her. I always wanted to be her!”

“I like her, too. A lot. She’s my dream woman.”


She rested her chin on her hand. He didn’t respond for a while. God, she thought, he hates me. Well, maybe not. “Oh” isn’t much to respond to. Maybe I should say something. What, though? What do I say to a guy who found me on a website for fat chicks and then told me he likes Topanga, who is thin and gorgeous?

The messenger window flashed, interrupting her thoughts.

“So what u look 4 in a man?”

“Well, I don’t know. I don’t really have a physical type. I like guys who are nice and funny and somewhat intelligent, and all those things are optional, really, as long as he likes me. lol”

“I got all those things.”

“Cool. Too bad I don’t look like Topanga, or we’d be all set.”

“Damn, grl! U asked me what was my dream woman. That’s a dream, not real. I no I ain’t getting’ Topanga.”

“Well, if you like thin women, what were you doing looking on”

“I like big women but if I had a shot with Topanga I cud 4give her for not Bing 1.”

“Oh, I see. That’s cool, I guess.”

“Y u single?”

“Ummm, let me think. Oh, wait, I remember. Cuz I’m fat, remember? Guys don’t like fat chicks.”

“Lots of em do.”

“None I’ve ever met.”

“Their loss then. I got 2 go, gonna B around l8r?”

“Yeah, I should be.”

“Ttyl, hot stuff.”

“Whatever. Lol. Ttyl.”

Two months. Two months of almost bliss. She had talked to Jon almost every day. She had told him absolutely everything about her—the messy house, the inexperience, the cats, the fact that every other man in the world seemed to see something in her that made her utterly undateable. Aside from the fact that he asked her a couple of times if she was trying on purpose to scare him away, he hadn’t seemed bothered. He had told her she was just fine, reassured her over and over again that those things didn’t matter and that she would be okay. He had told her that if they ever got together, her inexperience wouldn’t be a problem, that he would teach her everything she needed to know. They’d talked on the phone a few times and started text messaging on their phones as well as online. Things were going well.

Alice’s days consisted of watching her niece’s softball games, chatting with Jon, even taking pictures of herself to send him. Once, in a fit of desperation, trying to convince him that he would never in a million years like her if it ever got to the point of seeing her naked, she had taken a photo of herself completely in the nude, at her worst, rolls of fat hanging from her hips and stomach and almost covering her womanhood, and sent it to him. Even then, he had declared her beautiful and said he would still like to meet her.

Softball and Jon. It was the perfect summer. Each day was better and better, until the day that her niece’s team won the district finals and the chance to compete in the state championship. The team waited expectantly to see where they would travel to. Alice was more anxious than anyone else. Quietly, deep in a hidden place within her most private thoughts, she hoped the championship would be somewhere near Jon. She never told anyone, not her sister, not her friends, not anyone, because if she asked him to meet her and he said no, she didn’t want anyone feeling sorry for her. Or laughing at her, for that matter, for having the boldness to believe that a man could actually be attracted to her.

The day she found out that the championship would be held in Jackson, she raced home and logged on to the Internet. She looked at her messenger list. No fullmetalphoenix. He wasn’t online. She quickly went to a map site and typed in the cities of Ann Arbor and Jackson, then crossed her fingers and hit “Find Directions.” Thirty-two miles, it said at the top of the screen. Only thirty-two miles! As she danced around the room in celebration, for once not cringing at the sound of her stomach flesh slapping onto her thigh flesh, a notice popped up informing her that fullmetalphoenix was now online. She threw herself onto her bed and began typing.
“Hey, Jon- my niece’s softball team made it to the state championships and guess where they are? In JACKSON! I am coming to Jackson next month!”

“That coo’”

“Hell, yes, that’s cool! I can come see you!”


“If—if you still want me to, that is. I mean—tell me if not.”

“Yeah, awesome. ’Course I want u2.”

“I’ll letcha know more when it gets closer.”

As the trip grew closer, she got more and more excited. She fantasized about all kinds of things that might happen. Mostly, though, she just fantasized about kissing him, about touching a man, about the simple things she had never done before. Jon’s text messages were full of excitement, too. One morning, she woke up to the sound of the text message tone on her phone. She flipped it open.

“Wen we get 2gether u going 2 have sex wit me?” she read.

“Don’t know. Want to. Scared. Don’t know how,” she sent back.

“U’ll b fine. Let me teach u.”

“OK. Yes. I think. No promise.”

“Gud enuf.”

Over the weeks, Jon was online less and less. He was moving back home, he said, to save money. and there was no internet there. Alice trusted him, by then, and did not question this. Every few days they sent messages on their phones and things seemed okay. When she booked her hotel room in Jackson, she made sure to get her own, even though she could have saved $300 by staying with her sister’s family. She wanted to be sure she and Jon would have a place to be alone, just in case. Two days before she left for Jackson, she got a text message from a number she did not recognize.

“Fone shut off. Cdnt pay bill. Can get calls but not make. Jon.”

She called him, but he didn’t answer. She left a voice mail message. He didn’t call back. Once she got to Jackson, she sat alone in her hotel room late each night. She alternately hoped that Jon would call her or answer her calls and hoped that he wouldn’t, so she wouldn’t need to be so nervous. She spent the days under the July sun in one of the worst heat waves anyone could remember, watching softball, and the nights crying.

After three days, Jon finally answered her call. “Tomorrow,” he said when she asked him “when”, when she carefully didn’t ask him “if.” “After work,” he said, “around ten. I’ll call you.” She called him when she hadn’t heard from him by ten, and he didn’t answer the call. “Just wondering if we’re still on,” she said into her phone, “So- give me a call. Let me know or something.” He didn’t call back. Alice went to her sister’s room and played Scrabble for a while. She tried to keep her mind off Jon completely. If she thought of him and dared to hope he might still come, she was suddenly coated in cold, sticky sweat at the thought that she might get to touch him, kiss him, even have sex with him, and at the thought that as soon as she did any of those things he would immediately hate her, because she wasn’t any good at them. If she instead thought of the more likely possibility that he wouldn’t call and they would never meet, she had to fight back tears.

She answered her phone when it rang, but could barely say “hello.” She was filled with rage that he would put her through this, and that she would let him, and she was filled with fear, and she was filled with longing.

“Did you think I wasn’t coming?” he asked her. He sounded the same again, just like he had when they had first chatted. He sounded nice again, and trustworthy, not like the stranger that had seemingly been avoiding her in recent weeks.

“Yes, I- kind of- are you?”

“You want me to?”

“Yes, of course.”

“I am going home to change and take a shower. Call me back in a few.”


She hung up her phone and looked at her sister.

“Go ahead,” her sister said. “Have fun. I’ll pack up the game.”

I wonder what’s going on in his mind, she thought. He had told her to wait on the phone while he was in the shower. Why? Why couldn’t he call her back when he got out? He had told her his phone was back on, and it must be, since he had called her, so why, when she was so nervous, when she so needed some time to breathe, would he keep her on the phone? She contemplated hanging up, but was afraid to lose contact with him, afraid he would somehow disappear if she did.

They talked on the phone, or stayed on the phone, rather, since they didn’t talk much, while he got dressed, got in his car, and made the 30 minute trip to Jackson.

“How are you doing?” he asked her at one point.

“I am scared to death,” she replied.

“Why’s that?”

“I am afraid as soon as you see me, you will turn around and leave. That’s how men respond to me.”

“I won’t. I promise. After all, I’ve seen you naked already, remember?”

“Yeah, but—I don’t know. I have met guys online before, and that has gone okay, but I have never, ever met anyone in person. I think I give off some kind of vibe that warns men away from me.”

“Shut up. You’ll be fine. Where should I meet you? I am coming off the freeway right now. I can see the hotel sign.”

“Pull in the back parking lot and I will meet you outside by the pool.”

“What are you wearing, so I know you?”

“A blue checked skirt—no, red pants and a white and red tank top,” she told him. “See you soon, I have to go.” She hung up the phone, shed her clothing, and pulled on the clothes she had described. She had spent an hour shaving her legs smooth in anticipation, but the pants were safer. They hid more of her. And the tank top fit snugly, which wasn’t good because it showed off all her lumps and bumps and rolls and globs, but it also showed off her cleavage. She grabbed her phone and room key and ran outside, barefoot, shaking, scared. Standing by the pool, she listened to the parents of the softball players talking and laughing quietly inside the gated pool area. She longed to be one of them, quietly confident and accepting of the fact that there was someone who loved them. She wasn’t convinced she would ever be able to have that sense about her.

She jumped when the phone rang. She was suddenly overcome with dizziness and nausea and almost didn’t answer it. She forced herself to fight back the nausea and answered.


“Hey. Where are you?”

“By the pool. Can you see the pool?”

“No, not yet. I am coming around the corner of a building. Oh, there it is.”

“I am off to the left of the pool.”

“Can you see me?”

“I don’t know. Where are you?”

“Do you see someone waving?”

“Yes. I take it that’s you.” They hung up their phones.

“Do I get a hug?” he asked as he approached. She steadied herself against a brick planter before nodding, shyly. He came near, wrapped his arms around her, and she somehow found the strength, the courage, to lift her own arms and hug him back.

The feelings that rushed through her mind, her skin, her blood, even her bones, were unlike anything she had ever experienced before. Her reaction was so powerful that it scared her. In seconds, five or maybe ten, relief and security and fear and something she almost wanted to call love and even desire flooded her entire being. It made her even more dizzy.

“Should we go up to your room?” he asked quietly, and she nodded yes. She led the way, with a million thoughts chasing each other around her head. First was the thrill of knowing that the parents may have seen her leading a man up to her hotel room. They might, if they had noticed, think now that she was a normal human being, a real woman, someone who men could be attracted to, a completely normal young person who was following the course of the hormones that flowed through her body.

Then came overwhelming fear. He was following her. That meant he was watching her fat ass waddle its way up the stairs. Would he hate her? Would he turn around and leave? Her fear was even more intense now, because she had tasted bliss in his arms, and she longed to taste it again. She wondered if he would really be patient with her, if they would end up having sex, if he had brought condoms or if she would have to admit that she had actually bought some, just in case. She wondered what it would be like to kiss him, how she would know if he wanted her to open her mouth, how one thing would lead to the next. She thought that it was entirely unfair that she was forced to go through all of this paranoia and uncertainty at age twenty-eight, when most people got it over with by the time they were sixteen.

She slowly slid the key into the slot on the door to her room and swung the door open. Only then did she turn to see if he was still following her.

“Still here,” he told her. She was horrified that she had been so transparent. All she really wanted was to appear sophisticated and mature, even though he already knew the truth. She wanted to maintain some dignity.

“So, what do you want to do?” he asked. Silently, she screamed YOU TELL ME! You’re the one that knows how these things are supposed to work! Outwardly, she managed to speak calmly.

“Let’s get to know each other.”

She sat in a chair on one side of a small writing table, and he sat in a chair on the other side. Neither spoke. She thought of a million things to say, things like So what do you think? Do you like me? Do you want to kiss me? Are you going to stay the night? She didn’t say any of them. She found herself unable to speak.

“So what do you want to talk about?”

“I don’t know. Let’s just talk,” she said shyly. “I can’t think of a thing to say.”

“I always start the conversations. Tonight it’s your turn. Anything you want to say, anything you want to do, it’s all up to you. I’m not saying or doing anything until you do.”

You asshole she screamed silently. I hate you! You promised! You said you would help me, that it didn’t matter that I don’t know what to do or what to say or how to start! You said YOU would do it, would help me, would make it all easy. You LIED to me! And then in the back of her mind, a little voice told her that she had lied to him, too. It reminded her of the lie she had told months ago—“BBW Looking For Whatever Finds Her.” She wasn’t really looking for whatever found her; she was looking for a man she could depend on to guide her through the awkward times when she felt unsure, when she had no idea what to do or say next, a man who could tease her gently and break into soft laughter and make her laugh at herself, and make everything okay. It wasn’t his fault; he wasn’t giving what he had promised, but then, she hadn’t told him what she needed, either.

After what seemed like hours but was maybe twenty minutes, they were finally speaking somewhat more easily, but things were tense and she was carefully avoiding any topics that might lead to awkwardness. He finally stopped talking and brought things to a head.

“So what do you want to do? Kiss? Make out? Have sex?” She blushed brilliantly.

“Maybe. Maybe. I don’t know.”

“Well, if you do, just let me know. Or if you want, I can just leave.”

“No, I don’t want that.”

“Then what do you want?

“I don’t know. I know, but I don’t know how to tell you.”

“Damn, girl, I’m going to have to do all the work, aren’t I? Come on over here.”

He rose and moved to the bed. He sat down and gestured for her to sit next to him. She did, nervously, mainly because she was afraid if she didn’t, he would leave, and she didn’t want to be alone again. Inside, she was still screaming. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be! You are supposed to make me feel special, like you really want me to sit by you, hold you, kiss you, not like you are doing me a favor. You promised! It’s not FAIR!

His lips on hers silenced the voice, though, or made her concentrate on kissing and not on listening, anyway. She wanted to enjoy it so badly, but she couldn’t. Every bit if her energy was taken up with wondering if she was kissing right, responding right, if she was screwing things up. Her body was responding appropriately, she knew, because there was a weird tingling running through her body, strategically zapping her in a few key locations as it raced up and down, but she could not enjoy it. Every breath, every tiny movement of her lips or her tongue or her hands took absolute concentration. Every time she moved any part of her, she wondered if she had done the right thing or the wrong one. She didn’t dare ask.

They kissed, touched, held, petted all night long. At times they slept. Every so often, he asked her if she wanted to have sex. She did, more than she had wanted anything in a very long time, but she could not bring herself to tell him. If she admitted that she wanted to, then it would somehow be her fault if she failed to please him. If he had made the first move, she would have melted into him and given her body to him completely, but he didn’t. He stayed true to his word; anything she wanted, she had to ask for.

As soon as the sun was up, he rose, half naked, and stretched. Silently, he dressed.

“I have to go,” he said. “Work. I’ll be in touch.”

You said you didn’t have to work today! the voice in her head screamed.

“Okay,” she said. She stood, half naked, and hugged him.

He walked out of the door and she watched it swing shut behind him.

A month later, Alice got a text message from Jon.

“How u doing?” it asked.

“Long time no see,” she responded. It was only in the past week that she had stopped crying over him, and now he was back.

They messaged back and forth for a few hours. Soon, the topic turned to sex. Every message he sent started with, “Would you ever…” She answered his questions honestly and he told her he had come to the conclusion that they really needed to get together.

“You had your chance. I would have, you know. All you had to do was start things off, and I would have.”

“I wanted u.”

“Shoulda told me then.”

“Thought u new.”

“I didn’t. I told you, that was all new to me. I didn’t know anything.”

Over time, their messages became more and more graphic. He sent her photos that matched the one she had sent him. Their messaging sessions were heated and left her thinking of him, of sex, all the time. She slowly began to trust him again.

“U bz over T-day?” he asked her in the beginning of November.


“Wanna hook up?”

“Maybe. OK. Yes.”

“Coo’. It OK 2 b frendz with benefits?”

“Sure,” Alice messaged back. Noooooo! screamed the voice inside of her.

Thanksgiving came and went and no mention was made of getting together. Depression set in, but every time Jon messaged her, she responded immediately and with the words she knew he would want to hear.

In the beginning of December, it started again.

“U bz over xmas?”

“ I can make time for you.”

“Coo’,” he said, and they even set a date and made a plan. She would get a hotel room half way in between their homes, a four-hour drive for each. He would pay for half when he got there. They would go out to dinner and they would talk and they would hold each other close and do all sorts of things, and he would make everything up to her that she had felt was lacking last time. It would be the perfect weekend. She cleared her schedule and the old feelings of apprehension and bliss and excitement and being normal came back. There was a man in the world who could appreciate her just the way she was! He had met her, in person, and seen her, and he wanted to see her again! He had seen her naked body, and he still wanted to get naked with her! She looked nothing like his dream woman, but there was still something about her that made him want her!

In the middle of the night, one week before Christmas, Alice’s phone sounded its text message tone.

“Meet me online- need to talk,” it said. It was from Jon, of course.

She got out her computer, logged on to the Internet, and found him on messenger.

“Hey, what’s up?” she typed, smiling. She expected him to tell her some kinky new thing he wanted to try, or at the worst to say he couldn’t afford to help with the hotel room.

“Can’t make it next week,” he answered.

Her heart sank into her stomach. She almost threw it up.

“Remember the conversation we had about my dream woman?”

“Yes,” she whispered. Stupidly, she managed to convince herself that he was going to tell her that she was his dream woman, and that he didn’t want to be friends with benefits anymore, that he wanted to stay away from her until he could love her fully with all his heart and soul.

“I met someone,” he continued. “Headed 2 Vegas 2 get married.”

Naked on her bed, propped up on a pile of pillows covered in rubber duckies and cat fur, Alice cried loudly, deeply, in great gulps and sobs. shudders. BBW, she thought. Right. Beautiful outranks Big every time. Against her will, a scribbled message appeared in her thoughts, a flashing neon sign, reminiscent of Las Vegas: Topanga, Go To Hell!


Thanks for reading

From the Plus Side with Emily Smiltneck


Emily's Cool Links

Why, OH Why


Diabolique Belle

     Why, OH Why will be column dedicated to all the experiences Plus Sized people go through that make you want to say WHY OH WHY does this have to be.  Part vent, part inspiration this column will surely be one that readers will related to. Diabolique Belle was chosen for this position because of her flare for telling it like it is and turning it around for the better. 


     Diabolique Belle originates from Brooklyn, NY. She is a computer specialist who passionately loves making toiletries and designing gift baskets. She is capricious and dynamically outgoing and loves to say what she means and she means what she says. Diabolique is currently working on several entrepreneurial endeavors, including taking her toiletry hobby to a professional level and transitioning her writing hobby into an erotic mystery novel series.


Put a Sock in it!  

     I am sitting  in the car with a recruiter on the way to an interview. I am extremely thankful that it is a cool summer day. The breeze feels good as we cruise on the main street to get to out destination. I am dressed to impress; of course, business professional.  I am reviewing my interviewing techniques; mentally analyzing the potential questions employers routinely utilize. I am relatively nervous because this is an extremely good position.  I look over my resume and cover letter one last time and close it up. I look over to my recruiter and nervously smile. We pull up to the building and I take a deep breath and thank her for the ride. She says to me, “Take your time going in there. Don’t want you running and huffing and sweating like a fat little piggy by the time you get upstairs.”  I was in complete shock as I closed the door.

One of the most difficult things for plus sized individuals to endure is negative stereotyping.  Each sex has its own set of biases that they are plagued with day in and day out. Both are often categorized with having low self esteem. Women are often thought to be desperate for attention. Plus sized individuals have to be especially careful how they act in public. Office parties, church functions, and other such simple “friendly” gatherings are the settings for systematic judging.  Hypocritical eyes lay waiting for one trip too many to the food line so that the whispering can commence. Unfair criticism starts from the moment we pick up our first piece of food. If we choose healthy food, we are simply putting on airs. If we choose unhealthy food that is the reason we are fat.  If we stay to ourselves, we are tagged antisocial.  Life of the party, and we are loud and inappropriate.  It seems as if the deck has been rigged against us. 

I vowed never to let inappropriate comments go unchecked. Those subtle hints about my need to lose weight no longer pass on by. When the recruiter came to pick me up I told her how appalled I was by her comment was. She stared at me as if I was speaking Latin or had suddenly grown a breast on my forehead.  I informed her that the comment she made was not only unprofessional but tacky.  I told her no matter my size, I was a person and deserved consideration.  Whether I am plus sized, skinny as a twig or plump in the middle; I deserve respect just like everyone else. People can only get away with what you let them. I know you’ve heard the old folks say, if you give them an inch…they will become a ruler!


Don’t be anyone’s punching bag!


Thanks for reading

Why, OH Why with Diabolique Belle


Diabolique Cool Links 

Papi's Peace

This month's Article:

Results or Reasons

    Papi's Peace A column dedicated to the Large man and his mind.  Papi a Chicago native takes the concerns of the Big man and brings it to light, realizing that sometimes his thoughts and feelings are not always so secure.  A how to column that deals with the issues that many men deal with in today's society.  He also hits the many aspects of living life large and putting your best foot forward as a big person.  Papi was chosen because of his dedication to motivate and weekly inspirational emails he sends to many people across the net has helped and captured many.  Papi has a flair for making difficult situations a bit more easier to deal with.  Part motivation, part realism, lots of observation and a big helping of tell it like it is.  Papi has used humor with to deliver every month.


Results or Reasons

This month is another special version. I want you to focus on the motivation and my Peace today. It is a dedication. For all those that have recently suffered a loss or death of a loved one.

As hard as it may be, please know that God has a plan and when someone leaves this Earth, better things lie ahead.

It is SO ironic that as I spoke about the importance of time in one of my weekly Monday Motivational mailings that it SMACKED me in the face shortly thereafter. So please do not take my words lightly. Learn from my mistakes.

I searched LONG and hard for this specific motivation because it hits home with me and it is all so true. I spend so much time motivating people, and I don't completely follow my own advice. And it came full circle this week.

I gotta make this change NOW family. I hope you follow me.

Tha Motivation

  • "What I do today is important because I am exchanging a day of my life for it." Unknown

  • "When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive; to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love." Marcus Aurelius

  • "Will someone else's life be brighter tomorrow because of what you have done today?" William Arthur Ward

  • "We must look for ways to be an active force in our own lives. We must take charge of our own destinies, design a life of substance and truly begin to live our dreams." Les Brown

  • "Welcome every morning with a smile. Look on the new day as another special gift from your Creator, Another golden opportunity to complete what you were unable to finish yesterday." Og Mandino

  • "Our greatest challenge - our greatest opportunity - is found in these words: 'Choose ye this day'." William Arthur Ward

  • "Life is a gift we're given each and every day. Dream about tomorrow, but live for today." Unknown

  • "Live well, Learn plenty, Laugh often, Love much." Ralph Waldo Emerson

  • "One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today." Dale Carnegie

  • "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present." Babatunde Olatunji

  • "Is anybody happier because you passed his way" is really a question we should all remember as we start each day. Sometimes the smallest gesture can brighten someone's day." Catherine Pulsifer from My Grandfathers Collection

  • "Every day is a good day to examine our prime-time priorities." William Arthur Ward

  • "But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute - look at it and really see it - live it, and never give it back." Erma Bombeck

  • "Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die tomorrow." Unknown

  • "Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Unknown

  • "Life is not a 'brief candle'. It is a splendid torch that I want to make burn as brightly as possible before handing on to future generations." George Bernard Shaw

  • "Life is to be lived, enjoy it." M. K. Soni

  • "Each of my days are miracles. I won't waste my day; I won't throw away miracle." Kelley Vicstrom

  • "If you don't think every day is a great day try going without one." Jim Evans

  • "Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can."  Danny Kaye


Excerpts from Whitewater Rafting 101 by Andrew Wood

It was a typical Saturday afternoon a little over three years ago. I was sitting up in my office banging away at my computer, when the door suddenly burst open, flooding the dim room in brilliant sunlight. An attractive middle-aged woman stepped forward and passionately began to speak with her hands on her hips.

She began, "You've read all the books, been to all the seminars, listened to all the tapes, and even wrote your own book with a chapter on goal setting. You teach goal setting to thousands of people a year at your seminars. They pay you big bucks to do this. You consult with individuals and companies on their goals and help other people realize their dreams. So, how is it that we can never find time to take a vacation? It's been three years now! I want to know when we're going to take the cruise we keep talking about."

With that, my wife, Sue, folded her arms and waited for my reply. (By the way, she loves when I describe her as attractive, and hates when I describe her as middle-aged.)

 And so it was that I devoted an entire afternoon of my life not working on a marketing campaign as planned, but instead working on re-evaluating my goals. If I knew so much about goal setting, how come so many of my own goals never happened? With this in mind, I went back to the computer and searched for a file marked G1, which was the two pages of text that listed the things I wanted to do with my life.

At first, I felt quite pleased with myself as I allotted time slots to each goal and set deadlines, but as the afternoon wore on I began to get a growing sense of unease. I was running out of time, dying right before my very eyes. As the final goal was committed to paper, I immediately wondered just how much fun I was going to have white water rafting at 101 years of age

By the end of the day I had successfully cut my list in half without too much heartache for the items that had to go. Most of my goals revolved around four specific areas: business, family, travel, and golf. The ultimate goal is taking my entire family on a trip around the world so they could experience other places, people, and cultures first hand.

While I had always been goal oriented, I suddenly felt a whole new sense of purpose and direction. For the first time I came to the stark realization that goal management was not some topic to be glossed over at seminars along with advertising, marketing, and sales. Goal management was in fact LIFE management, and the longer I put off following my own advice, the less life I was ultimately going to enjoy.

Although it had happened several years earlier, another factor weighed heavily on my mind that afternoon. The fate of my best friend David Miller. David was an incredible person, in awesome shape through martial arts training, and with a mind every bit as sharp. We co-wrote my first book together and had wonderful plans for taking our businesses to the top of the field. David was 42 years old, had a beautiful wife and two-year-old daughter. He had worked very hard for 15 years and was looking to expand his business.

It was for that reason that we drove out to Las Vegas to the Comdex computer show together to look at the latest models, but halfway there he became very ill, smack in the middle of the desert. I drove his Toyota truck at over 100 miles an hour to get him to a hospital in Las Vegas, but by the time we got there the pain had subsided. He confided in me that he had not been feeling right for several weeks and had already been to the doctor, but he didn't think it was anything serious.

We spent the rest of the day at the show, looking at color printers, graphics software and the latest high-tech machines. As the show wound down at the end of the day Dave stood in the lobby of the Las Vegas Hilton and called his doctor from a pay phone. It was there, as the crowds of people walked to and fro, that he was handed his death sentence -- a rare form of cancer.

He remained in great spirits and refused to believe right up until the end that he was going to die. His belief was so great and his mind so strong, that I guess we all thought he was somehow going to defy the odds, and when the news came that he had actually died it was still something of a shock to all of us who knew him. All the plans and dreams we had of building a business together would never happen. He left the world having worked hard all his life, leaving no legacy but the wisdom and friendship he passed on to others and to me. He left no money for his family; he had no life insurance, no medical insurance, and a business that would struggle to survive without his passion and hard work.

 Dave knew all about goal setting, in fact he fueled much of my knowledge on the subject. But he died having done almost none of the things he had wanted to accomplish during the brief and wonderful time that I knew him. Now there would be no chance. He was young, he was in perfect shape, he didn't drink or smoke. He had every reason in the world to believe that time was on his side. Time to visit Europe next year or the year after. Time to learn to ski the following winter, or that he could take his little girl to Disneyland and see Mickey Mouse next Sunday or the Sunday afterwards. 

Only it didn't work out that way for Dave, and it doesn't work out that way for millions of other people across the country even if they don't die young .It should have been a wake up call, but I was busy! And sometimes we even hear the wake-up call, but we keep hitting "snooze". Only in this case the down side is worse than being late for work? It's being late for life.

The first step in getting more out of your life is to get in touch with your own mortality. This is not an easy thing

God's Minute by Dr. Benjamin E. Mays

I've only just a minute,

Only sixty seconds in it.

Forced upon me, can't refuse it,

Didn't seek it, didn't choose it,

But it's up to me to use it.

I must suffer if I lose it,

Give an account if I abuse it,

Just a tiny little minute,

But eternity is in it.


Papi's Poetry

U feel neglect, baby, please don't.

Just bcuz I'm busy doesn't mean that I won't

B thinking about U 4 most of my day.

Wishing by my side always U could lay.

These words that I say come straight from my heart.

That is where U stay and I hope never part.

I hope U never leave, I believe in our thing.

I feel U like a song, if I could I would sing.

Blow at the top of my lungs how I feel.

Hearing your voice makes my day 4 real.

I miss U beside me. U spoiled me so.

It’s been way 2 long since I felt your flow

I patiently wait, but damn this is hard.

We’ve fussed and we've fought, our emotions scarred.

But I won’t let go, no how and no way.

I hope that soon we’ll get 2gether, ok?

Just Bcuz

Just because you haven't heard from me

Does not mean you are not on my mind.

Just because it has been a long time

Does not mean it will be forever.

Just because things have been slow

Does not mean they won't speed up.

Just because things have gone wrong in the past

Does not mean they won't go right in the future.

Just because we are not together yet

Does not mean we won't be together soon.


Papi's Peace

Reasons or Results?

"Death is a challenge. It tells us not to waste time. It tells us to tell each other right now that we love each other." - Leo Buscaglia

James Brown. Anna Nicole Smith. Gerald Levert. Dennis Johnson. Tornado aka Big Daddy Woo Woo. Sybrina Thompson (see below). Barry Stevens. Micheal Boulden.

None of these people are with us in physical form. They have all gone to another place. All happened suddenly. Unexpectedly. Surprisingly. I am not sure you can ever be fully prepared to have a loved one die, but when it blind sides you, it makes it that much harder to deal with.

Papi is NOT dealing very well right now. As I type these words tears blur the screen. I have been crying all week. I can't help it. I am usually the rock for others around me. I am usually strong. I am usually introspective, logical, calming. Right now I feel as though I dropped the ball and can never pick it up again. Let me explain.

Mike Boulden was a friend of mine. I went to Iowa State with him. This past week as I have been recollecting I am realizing the PROFOUND effect he had on my life. He was like a mentor but we were on an equal level. He was a few years older, but we were cool. Tight. He wasn't like a father figure, but damn he taught me so much. He is so responsible in the man I am today. I mean, I had never REALLY thought about it on those terms until now. Now when he is gone.

The last I had heard, he was in Madison, Wisconsin. SO MANY times I was JUST about to email him and try to go up there and kick it with him. Just to talk to him bcuz he was SO opinionated, so smart, so sarcastic and loved to debate (you can see why we were cool, huh? LOL). Mike, me and my old Rhyme partner (Gabe aka Pandemonium) were like the Tres Militantes (Three Militants in Ebonic les Francais). We were at Iowa State during the time of Public Enemy, X-Clan, BDP, consciousness, Rodney King, Larry Milton, and ALL kinda drama. A handful of Black kids in the middle of the cornfields trying to make heads or tails of things and SO often Mike Boulden was our metronome. He was our political conscience. He was a revolutionary. He was a visionary. He was an activist. Gabe said it best when he said he mentored us without mentoring us. He was our contemporary. He was a friend. But I still looked up to him. I hadn't seen him since I left Iowa State in 1993. I missed our 1st alumni reunion in 2002, but when I found out that he was as close as Wisconsin I got excited. The things we could talk about now. The issues. The debates. The memories of our past exploits. We were GROWN now! Oh how many NEW ideas could we kick around in this new millennium. 

But I just let time get away from me. Well, he just died in Arizona, where he lived, riding a bicycle in a hit and run accident. I am so sick I never got to Madison. A lot of us are on an ISU African American message board and this week we have been mourning not only Mike B., but Barry Stevens and Sybrina Thompson who were also ISU alumnus. We have shared stories and memories and have implored each other that Mike would not want us sad at this time, but rather happy in remembering and celebrating his life and legacy. Gabe coined the phrase he felt "EMBOULDENED" by knowing this great man. Friends have told me to B strong. Why is it so hard?

"In Life We Can Have Results or Reasons." Harald Anderson

Right now I have Reasons. These reasons balance out to regret. I regret that I did not get to Madison to see my friend. I have a million and one reasons that prevented me. I WISH I had some results.

Please believe me as I tell you RIGHT NOW, there is NO worse feeling on earth than living with regret. Do NOT allow it to happen to you.

If you have a friend you have not talked to in a while, look them up. Call. Write. Find a loved one that you had lost. Act on a promise you made someone. Finish a project that you started. Realize a dream that you have had. ACT on it!! Don't wait. DO NOT WAIT!! Throw away the Reasons and just get Results.

Results are SO much easier to deal with than Reasons.

Next month we are going to talk about our health. As big people we have real dangers that must be faced and addressed. Face them with me family!

I hope you have a great month.

Please remember that Papi loves you!



Thank you for Reading Papi's Peace

Please send thoughts and comments to

Good 4 U Food

Recipes for Good... Healthy Food

By: Xander - The Food Dude


Who do you Choose to be?

     I have a very good friend.  He is a psychologist who speaks on, and studies the effects of stress on the body.  Interestingly enough, he also applies the same principles on the study of the effects of stress on the spirit.  Much of his work as not only affected my personal and professional life, but the man has truly become a vast source of information.  He also has become a trusted friend.  Having said that I also have to say the man is crazy.

     Fear of open water?  He canoes the Mississippi from top to bottom.  Never been hiking? Go hike the entire Appalachian Trial (2000 + miles).  Fear animals?  He wrestled Black Bears and Alligators.  Fear of going the distance?  Try the Boston Marathon…. 13 times. 

     We all have fears and hopes.  I hope can lose those 30 pounds.  I hope I get this job.  I fear what will happen tomorrow.  From his work I have learned that most, if not all of it comes down to the choices that we have.  I could choose to stay in the bedroom, cheetos in hand, watching television, but why would I do that?  Do I have a fear of the world?  I hope not. 

     From talking with groups all over the country I have come to realize that I am them for the most part.  They are me.  I’m still one of the people who keep self-help books on the shelves.  Do the last three that I’ve bought tell me anything new?  I can honestly say “no”.  Because the true essence of self help says that book can’t help me.  The true meaning of being happy is that size doesn’t matter.  The true essence of being real is understanding that the greatest and only control we have is over our own actions and attitude.  You might think that what about all the factors in the world that play havoc on us on a daily basis?  Havoc comes when we fail to realize that the greatest change comes from within us no outside of us.  Dr. Farris Jordan the man I mentioned earlier helped me to come to grips with the responsibility and accountability that I have, not to the world, but to myself.

     It is in that choice that we can show our greatness.  A very wise man once said “We all have a touch of Destiny in us”.  When destiny unfolds will it unfold with me holding a bag of Cheetos in the palm of my hand “?  Would I rather it unfold to see me holding the world in the palm of my hand.  To make a choice of opening myself up to Cheetos, or Cigarettes, or alcohol abuse, or drugs, or do I open myself up to the world?

In this only choice can be to be there in, for, on, and with the world.

Thanks Dr. J.  Good luck and God Bless all of you on your own choices.


Xander - The Food Dude

Xander's Recipe of the Month

Spinach Mushroom Lasagna




9 uncooked lasagna noodles

1 container (16 ounces) fat-free cottage cheese

1/4 cup liquid egg substitute

2 cups (8 ounces) finely shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese, divided

3/4 teaspoon dried Italian seasoning

1/2 teaspoon garlic powder

1/8 teaspoon black pepper

Cooking spray

1 tablespoon water

8 ounces baby bella mushrooms, sliced (or large portabellas, chopped)

1 small onion, finely diced

1 package (10 ounces) frozen chopped spinach, thawed and well drained

1 jar (26 ounces) marinara sauce


Preheat oven to 350°F. Cook noodles according to package directions, omitting any salt. Leave in cooking water and set aside. In a large bowl stir together cottage cheese, egg substitute, 1 1/2 cups mozzarella cheese, Italian seasoning, garlic powder, and black pepper; set aside. Coat a nonstick skillet with cooking spray, add 1 tablespoon water, and sauté mushrooms and onion over medium heat 5–6 minutes, or until onion is tender. Drain off any remaining liquid. Stir in spinach and set aside.


Coat an 11" x 7" baking dish with cooking spray. Drain noodles well. Layer 3 noodles, half of cheese mixture, half of spinach mixture, and 1/3 of pasta sauce. Repeat layers. Top with remaining 3 noodles and remaining pasta sauce. Bake uncovered for 30 minutes. Sprinkle with remaining 1/2 cup mozzarella and bake for 5 minutes more, or until cheese melts. Let stand 10 minutes before cutting.

Preparation time: 40 minutes
Cooking Time: 35 minutes
Standing Time: 10 minutes

Yield: 8 servings
Serving size: 1/8 of lasagna

Per Serving:
   Calories: 231
   Carbohydrate: 24 g
   Protein: 18 g
   Fat: 7 g
   Saturated fat: 3 g
   Sodium: 780 mg
   Fiber: 3 g
   Exchanges per serving: 1 starch, 1 1/2 vegetable, 1 1/2 medium-fat meat
   Carbohydrate choices: 2


Thank you for Reading Good Food 4U

By Xander the Food Dude

Please send thoughts and comments to

Large In Charge Guest Spot

We want to hear and see your talents!


One of our favorite parts of the newsletter.  The Guest Spot is for our readers to submit there talents to be viewed.  We want to see all you wonderful supporters making moves of your own.  If you write poetry, short stories, commentaries, or just thoughts in general, please submit them to us.  If your a designer we want to see pictures of your clothing.   We would love to include your talents in our newsletter.  We hope you take an active part in the L.I.C. newsletter. Send in your article, poetry, comments to -

NOTE: The Opinion of the writer is not always the opinion of The Large in Charge Staff.  We support the Right to all views.  We do not Condemn or Approve writing based on our personal thoughts.  We approve writing based on if the subject is a concern for the BBW / SSBBW / BHM Community.  Thank you for your writing and please send in those articles!  - The Large in Charge Staff

My Cancer Story

By: Kimba

Hi Raqui,
     I really liked your article and I wanted to share with you my Cancer story.  Almost seven years ago, I woke up one morning and was hemorrhaging.  I went to my OB GYN, it was actually a new one for me.  She was a woman and made me feel very comfortable.  She said she needed to do a biopsy, but couldn't because of the blood.  So she scheduled me an appointment, which I rescheduled twice and just didn't go the third time.  I was scared.  I didn't have a phone at the time, and about a week after I blew off the last appointment I received a post card in the mail from my doctor.  It was a handwritten note asking me not to let this go, she really felt I needed to address the issue.  Needless to say I was shocked.  What Doctor in this day and age goes to that much trouble? 
I went to the appointment, and the results came back negative.  My doctor wasn't happy.  She felt that because of my size and weight that she was not getting an accurate reading.  That was the first time she mentioned the possibility of cancer.  I know your panic and fear at hearing the word, I felt the same.  She scheduled a DNC to be sure.  I was 30 years old at the time, so the first thing I did was go home and do research.  Endometrial Cancer is usually found in women aged 55yrs to 80yrs old.  Less then 2% of women world wide get it at the age of 30.  I felt relieved. 
They did the DNC.  I got the phone call.  It was Cancer. 
 I was devastated.  They told me a hysterectomy was my only choice.  I went to see the surgeon in Boston, and this Doctor told me how lucky I was.  She said that had my OB GYN been an older male doctor, statistically, he would have said lose weight and put me on the pill, which would have been the worst thing for me. 
Thank you for getting the word out to other big girls.  Its so important that they be tested for this, because caught early it is treatable.  What happened to me could have been prevented, but of course I'm happy that they at least caught it early enough to save my life.  Keep up the good work. 



Send in your stories, poems, etc. to



Ask Raqui

Ask your Questions and We will answer!

Send your question to Raqui -

NOTE: The Opinion of Raqui  is just that. I do not claim to be professional or to solve your problems.  I can however give you a real answer that may help you out.

Ask Raqui

Q:  I was wondering if you could tell me where I could find a leather coat for my husband?  He wears a 8XL.


Raqui:  At this time of year I think you might even find one on sale.  Try this website.  King Size -

Q:   Dear Raqui, tell me how do you feel about gastric bypass, I am thinking about it and I admire you and would like to know how you feel about those who have the surgery?


Raqui: Truthfully, I don't find gastric bypass to be something I personally would not do, unless I was in a life threatening situation.  But Gastric bypass is a choice each person has to make.  I know many people who have had the surgery because of weight complicated problems, such as, knees, back, hip, leg issues.  I know people who have many diseases and all of them compounding and they need to do something.


     I support people in there decision as long as they have a real reason why they have to lose weight so fast and dramatically.  If it is just for cosmetic reasons then I don't agree.  They should find another way to lose the weight.

Q:   Do people often ask very ignorant questions about weight and your everyday functions as a woman.


Raqui:  No I haven't had many people ask questions at all.  Most people don't even realize that things have to be done differently for a bigger person.  They are in their own world living blind to our needs. 

     I have had questions usually when I meet a new male who is interested in me.  Once we become intimate if he hasn't dealt with a woman my size he might ask some questions.

Q:   I would like to know what you would consider a perfect date.  I know a woman who i believe you would consider super sized.  I want to take her on a great date and need some advice.



Raqui:  I cant speak for all women but I like to talk and socialize.  I would like to of course EAT.  LOL  I would like to sit down in a comfortable place that has spacious seats for people of size.  The place should be nice but not to fancy because I like to laugh and sometimes I am a bit loud. LOL

     Picnics in the park, Going to a BBW Dance.  Movies in a movie theater with armrests that go up.  I personally like romance.  Flowers, candy, hand holding.  All the great things. 

     But the best thing is a strong attraction and vibe.


Thank you for Reading Ask Raqui

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Large In Charge

Fashion Furious

BBW/BHM Fashion of the Month

     We all hate how the Fashion Industry is just scratching the surface when it comes to Large Sized Fashion.  But I have found out that many clothing stores and online companies are beginning to take up the slack.  Creative BBW, SSBBW and BHM's are making there own clothing or mix matching and finding basic everyday wear and night club wear. 

     Making it affordable is what can be hard so showcase your wonderful finds here.  If your a regular shopper, sew your own clothing or a designer showcase your clothing here by submitting a picture for Fashion Furious of the month.


Fashion Furious of the Month

How to send in your Fashion Find. Send a Clear Picture as an attachment

and use the Format Below to describe your Fashion Furious picture.

Email to Raqui:

Fashion Find by: Raqui    Fashion Type: Boots

Fashion Breakdown: See above

Sizes:  See above




Colors: as seen

Lane Bryant - www.lanebryant




Send in your Fashion Furious Picture and Details to

Large In Charge

Product of the Month!

What is good for Big Sized Bodies


    A very important and necessary part of LargeInCharge.  Find out what is helpful for big bodies.  Keep your self straight with some of our tips and tricks. Find out what other Big Sized people use to keep themselves smelling, feeling, looking, and living a proper life.  What kind of products are allowed. Anything that deal with the body. From cleaning aids to soap, lotions, powder, healing aids etc.  anything that can help a big body!

NOTE: The Opinion of those who submit items are not professional.  They are everyday people who found something that worked for them.  We are not held responsible for there opinion - The Large in Charge Staff

Send your favorite Item to be Product of the Month - Follow format below, include a picture of product (most can be found online) and Send to

Product of the Month


About the Product

Recommender: Raqui

Name of Product: Oversized Casket

Type of Product: Large Casket

Cost of Product: Varies depending on size and choice

Where Product can be found:  

Goliath takes pride in our caskets. We are constantly progressing to better serve you and your customers while providing an oversize casket with dignity and integrity.

Why I like this Product: This is something I have thought about.  Personally I want to be cremated but there was a time I wanted to be buried and I wondered how they would fit me into a casket.  It was something I worried about and now that I know there is a service like this I feel relieved for those who want to be buried.



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