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Issue #37 -
Welcome to the Large In Charge
In this Issue of L.I.C
Feature of the Month
- Plus Sized Author Naiomi Pitre
of the Month
- April Cover Model Jennifer Lindsay
Taking your Identity ~ Raqui
Super Sized Sounds
- Featured Artist BombChelle ~Super Sized Spanishfly Lynx
From the Plus Side
- 10 Months ~ Emily Smiltneck
Why, OH Why
available in plus sizes
~ Diabolique Belle
- Slow Down
Good 4 U Food
- The Story of the Almonds ~ Xander
Guest Spot -
Be a Guest Writer
- Fashion Finds
with Plus Size style.
Submit a Find!
Product of the Month
- Products for People of
Ask Raqui - Get some advice from one Big
person to another.
- Autographed books by Naiomi Pitre
- Events, Parties, Press Releases, Pic's & More.
- Dating for the Large People who are going to be in Charge of
their Love Lives!
- The Place for Big People to make Friends and maybe MUCH
Feature of the Month
Plus Sized Author
Her talent is her mission. This saucy author puts the
petal to the metal in her books. She also has her nose to
the grind stone when it comes to putting herself out to the
She has taken her career in her hands and over come obstacles
that many wouldn't have tried to conquer. Because of her
belief in herself and her talent she has achieved what some
thought was impossible.
The beautiful soul of Ms. Pitre shines through in all she does
and I believe she will continue to entertain us in all things.
Ms. Pitre donated A FREE
AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF
BROKEN VOWS & IN THE
For the LargeInCharge Free
www.LargeInCharge.com: What is your name (Real and or Stage)?
Naiomi Pitre: My name is Naiomi Lin Pitre. It is my
real name - no pseudonyms here!
www.LargeInCharge.com: Where are you
originally from, and where is your home state now?
Naiomi Pitre: That is a question that has always
been difficult for me to answer. I was a military brat growing up
(my father was in the Air Force). I was born in Spain, and lived in
four countries before moving to the United States. My father retired
in Las Vegas, NV, where I spent most of my schooling years. I lived
there for 8 years before going to college in Atlanta, GA.
Eventually, a previous employer relocated me to Baton Rouge, LA,
where I currently reside. I hadn't intended on staying, but I met my
wonderful husband here. The rest, as they say, is history!
www.LargeInCharge.com: Tell us about your home
life, children, marital status, etc.
Naiomi Pitre: I am happily married, and I have three
children which include my gorgeous daughter and two funny little
www.LargeInCharge.com: Do you consider
yourself a person of Size?
Naiomi Pitre: I definitely consider myself a proud
woman of size.
www.LargeInCharge.com: Have you always shown
an interest in writing?
Naiomi Pitre: I remember my father sitting me down
in front of a Commodore 64 computer when I was 5 years old, and he
showed me how to use a simple word processing program called, "KidWrite".
My father always encouraged my writing, and I began at that young
age. I would go on to write many short stories and several angst
teenage poems. Writing full-time has always been my biggest dream
for my life.
www.LargeInCharge.com: How old where you when
you began to write and what did you write?
Naiomi Pitre: At the age of five, I began writing
very simple and short children's stories.
www.LargeInCharge.com: What inspired you to
write as a child and what made you take the step toward making it a
Naiomi Pitre: My father was always my inspiration. I found that writing
was what I did best. When he passed away two and a half years ago, I
thought about what a great, talented, and intelligent man my father
was. Dying at the age of 57, he passed on before accomplishing
everything that he wanted to in this life. I realized that I did not
want that said about me. I didn't want anyone to ever say that I
left this earth without accomplishing the one thing that I was most
passionate about in my life. His death was the catalyst I needed to
strive forward in the literary world.
www.LargeInCharge.com: When did you publish
your first book and what was it about?
Naiomi Pitre: Broken Vows was published in May of
2006. It is a realistic look at a Christian couple who have
backslidden away from their church. While their spiritual defenses
are let down, infidelity, jealousy, betrayal, and sexual curiosity
attack their marriage. Dominic Long silently resents the fact that
his wife is the primary bread-winner in their household while he
struggles to get his own business off the ground. This self-loathing
creates an atmosphere of distrust and jealousy that results in a
physical confrontation, which drives Yvonne out of their home.
Turning to the person she trusts the most, Julie, her secretary,
Yvonne enters into a world that she only fantasized about in the
past. She explores her sexual desires with this redheaded siren,
unknowingly giving her husband time to fight his own infidelity
demons as well.
www.LargeInCharge.com: How did you get your
work published, self published, publishing company?
Naiomi Pitre: I chose to publish through a
www.Lulu.com. I would highly recommend
this service for writers out there who want to get their work out to
the public in the easiest, quickest way possible. It has been very
successful for me.
www.LargeInCharge.com: Who is your manager, PR
Naiomi Pitre: My publicist is Torrian Ferguson, of
the Ferguson Literary Group. He is an excellent publicist, and I am
blessed to have been able to come in contact with him. Torrian was
referred to me by another author, and I have been extremely happy
with his work. Having the right publicist can make or break an
author, and I am so glad that I found a terrific one in Mr.
www.LargeInCharge.com: Tell us about the first
time you saw your published book, how did you feel?
Naiomi Pitre: The first time I received the proof
copy of my book, I locked myself in my bathroom and cried like a
baby. I prayed and thanked God for what he had in store for me. I
thanked my father, and I continued to repeat, through my tears:
"Thank you, Daddy. We did it. We really did it!" Then my husband
knocked on the door and said he had to use it, so that was that.
www.LargeInCharge.com: How many books have you
published so far, what are you working on for the near future?
Naiomi Pitre: I have published two books so far -
Broken Vows and In The Panty Drawer. In The Panty Drawer is an
erotic short story anthology. It is extremely spicy! I am also
currently working on two projects. Sebastian Knight is a dark look
into the world of religious cult movements in America. In this
fictional book, I will introduce you to a family who finds
themselves seduced by the Black cult leader named Sebastian Knight.
My second project is the much anticipated sequel to Broken Vows,
entitled Fractured Ideals. I will revisit our favorite characters
from Broken Vows, and readers will be introduced to exciting
www.LargeInCharge.com: Are people of size
included in your writing?
Naiomi Pitre: The men in my books tend to be
attracted to larger-sized women. I write about what I know, and I
know that men love a women with something to hold on to and keep
them warm at night!
www.LargeInCharge.com: How do people of size
feel about your books, do you get more positive or negative
Naiomi Pitre: get a lot of positive feedback from
people of size. They are thankful that the women in my books are not
the current media ideal - skin and bones. I love portraying my
characters as sexy and sensual plus-sized women.
www.LargeInCharge.com: Please Tell us about
the many appearances, tours, book signings you have done?
Naiomi Pitre: I have been around the nation
promoting my books. I love to travel and meet new people, and this
is the perfect opportunity for me to do both, while sharing my work
with others! My favorite event would have had to have been my first
book signing at the local Baton Rouge Barnes and Noble Bookstore. I
had many supporters, and being a local writer, a lot of friends came
to pick up the book as well. For many self-published authors, a
signing at Barnes and Noble is like the Holy Grail. It was a
www.LargeInCharge.com: What have been some of
the obstacles you have overcome as far as your career goes?
Naiomi Pitre: I find that many bookstores have a
negative stigma regarding self-published books. Many believe that
the books will not look as professional or put together as
main-streamed material. They also fear that the editing will be
compromised. I have been pleased to prove them all wrong!
www.LargeInCharge.com: Are you currently on
Naiomi Pitre: I am not currently on tour, but I look
forward to doing so some time in early 2008. I have many events
between now and then, but as for being officially on tour, not at
www.LargeInCharge.com: Who are some of Authors
that you admire?
Naiomi Pitre: I admire those authors who are just
coming up in the business. I admire those self-published authors who
are striving to make a name for themselves. In regards to
established authors that I enjoy, I read and write in many genres. I
love Laurell K. Hamilton, Neil Gaiman, Poppy Z. Brite, Storm
Constantine, William Sleator, Octavia Butler, E. Lynn Harris, and
Lee Hayes, to name a few. I enjoy authors who are not afraid to
write about taboo subjects that other people shy away from.
www.LargeInCharge.com: What would you say to
other aspiring authors?
Naiomi Pitre: I would tell aspiring authors to stay
true to their own voice. Don't write to please anyone else, and
don't apologize for your work. Tackle the difficult subjects, and do
so as only you can. Write with confidence, and do not let any one
limit your dreams and expectations for yourself!
www.LargeInCharge.com: What should they do to
get there work out there?
Naiomi Pitre: Again, I would highly recommend
www.lulu.com as an easy and efficient way to get your book into
Global Distribution across the world. While your book is
self-published through Lulu, you can still shop your work to agents
and publishers if you are looking for a contract. They will be
impressed with the fact that you already have an established
www.LargeInCharge.com: Do you have other
authors that you collaborate with?
Naiomi Pitre: I have not collaborated with any other
authors as of yet, however I have been approached by many. I would
like to collaborate with a couple of different new and exciting male
erotica authors. I think that a book told in both points of view
would be interesting.
www.LargeInCharge.com Tell us a few of the
tricks you have learned?
Naiomi Pitre: I have learned that networking is
everything. Don't burn any bridges in this business, or in any
other, for that matter! You never know if the person who you insult
today could be the very person who holds the keys to your success
tomorrow. Rejoice in other people's success, and don't be jealous.
Encourage and promote other authors, and they will usually return
the favor. When someone else does something amazing, it just helps
to pave the way for you to do the same.
www.LargeInCharge.com: Do you have a good
support system from family and friends?
Naiomi Pitre: I have wonderful family. I have one or
two loyal girlfriends who have shown me that they were in it for the
long haul. I have lost a few friends along the way, as well. When
you begin to see true success, it is funny how you find out a
person's true colors. What I have learned is that the people who are
truly for you will be there for you regardless of your
circumstances, and I appreciate those friends who have stuck by me
through this journey greatly. My family (mom, sister, brother,
nieces, nephew, husband, daughter) are all extremely supportive and
proud of what I do. They know that this has always been my passion.
Many of them were subjected to the horrific poetry and stories that
I used to write as a kid.
www.LargeInCharge.com: What do you contribute
your success to?
Naiomi Pitre: I contribute my success to using the
talents and skills that God gave me. I believe that God gives us all
a gift, and He allows us to choose how to use it. Once I realized
this and began to implement my gift, He made it easy for me to
succeed. He opened doors for me that everyone else told me would be
locked tight. I also believe that my mother and father always raised
me to be a hard-working person and never to settle for second best.
www.LargeInCharge.com: Where will you be
Naiomi Pitre: My next book signing is at the Baton
Rouge, Louisiana Barnes and Noble on Citiplace Court. I will be
signing copies of In The Panty Drawer and Broken Vows, and it will
commence at 1pm CST. Saturday April 21, 2007.
www.LargeInCharge.com: What are your future
Naiomi Pitre: My goals are to continue to write in
many different genres and to gain an awesome fan base that will be
thrilled when each of my new works is released. I want to always
continue to grow and learn as a writer.
www.LargeInCharge.com: Give us one word that
you can say best represents your work?
Naiomi Pitre: Taboo.
www.LargeInCharge.com: How much have you
evolved as a author since those early days as a youth?
Naiomi Pitre: I have evolved greatly since writing
as a child. I practiced and honed my skills, and I am growing each
and every day. It only gets better and better, and I always want my
next book to be ten times better than the last.
www.LargeInCharge.com: How can the readers at
www.largeincharge.com help support you?
Naiomi Pitre: You can go to www.naiomipitre.4t.com
and read more about me and my work. Purchase Broken Vows or In The
Panty Drawer, and let me know what you thought by either emailing me
at firstname.lastname@example.org or posting a review online. If you find
that you love my work, you can also vote for me at the
Cushcity.com's Best New Author of 2007 Award Contest. I am currently
in the lead! You can vote by going to
http://www.cushlive.com/tapps/poll.php . Thanks to
everyone who ends up supporting me and my writing. The best is yet
Thank you for
Reading The LargeInCharge Feature
Please send thoughts and comments to
Model of the Month
Cover Model of the Month
LargeInCharge.com: What is your name?
Jenniffer Lindsay Candelas
LargeInCharge.com: Where are you from and what is your current
I was born,
raised and currently reside in San Jose, California.
LargeInCharge.com: Can you give us some information about yourself
(Age, Height, Size, Nationality, Marital Status, Children, etc.)?
I am 25 years old, 5’8’’, sz 26, single, and having fun dating!!
LargeInCharge.com: Were you a big child, or did you gain weight
later in life?
I was a small child and slowly gained weight as I grew up.
LargeInCharge.com: (If you gained weight later in life) what caused
you to gain weight and how did you feel about it?
It’s funny..I think my weight increased as the amount of
homework I received increased. As I continued my education I lost
the free time to play and be active. I am kind of a bookworm and one
of those that reads ahead and has to study.. so rather than focus on
being active, I concentrated on my education. So…the better my
grades got, the bigger the booty got! Haha. It never really bothered
me though. I have always thought the best about myself and I have
always been accepted and treated great.
LargeInCharge.com: What made you decide to enter the LargeInCharge
I decided to enter the search because this magazine really stands by
its meaning. So many other magazines promote a plus size image, but
limit their covers to models who are no bigger than straight size
models. LargeInCharge represents all of us who are a little more
fluffy than a size 14. You guys prove that beauty is not a size and
I wanted to be a part of that.
LargeInCharge.com: Did you find it a hard journey to be accepted for
I have been blessed to have never had a hard time because of my
size. Instead I have been praised and included in everything. I was
a competitive cheerleader and given numerous awards throughout my
involvement and I was elected student president of a school
organization. I have done modeling, acting, and have dated more than
most of my friends. All my adult life people have told me I was
beautiful and should get into modeling. My life has been pretty good
and size has never been a factor.
LargeInCharge.com: Do you find acceptance among your family and
Absolutely! I have the best relationship with family and really make
friends easily. I surround myself with people that love life because
they are blessed and rich with meaning, not people who are shallow
and judge others.
LargeInCharge.com: What would you say inspires you most in life?
The possibility of greatness. I have huge dreams and incredible
goals that keep me going. All my life I have prepped and focused on
these goals and I am inspired by the possibility of achieving them.
LargeInCharge.com: What is your primary job?
I am a full time student, majoring in Political Science and Law. I
graduate in May and then I am off to law school in January.
LargeInCharge.com: How did you get into this line of work?
I love politics and the law. The idea that one person has the
opportunity to elect some of the most powerful leaders in the world
is an awesome idea and responsibility. I am in this line of work
because I want to be that person that makes a difference and gives a
voice to the voiceless.
LargeInCharge.com: Do you find acceptance in the work force?
The worst challenge I have had in this area is with men taking me
serious. Some men are intimidated by a woman that models and knows
her politics. I have had to really be forceful to get my views and
ideas across. Size has never once been an issue. Pay has been great.
I have always been given leadership roles and credit when it was
LargeInCharge.com: What do you think about the fashion industry for
big sized clothing?
I love it…..I remember years ago, the choices were limited to
sweaters with sequins and leggings, now we have amazingly trendy
choices that are only getting better.
LargeInCharge.com: What do you wish to see change with the fashion
More plus size
lines. Like Victoria’s Secret…I am just itching to shop there!!
Frederick’s does it, so VS should too! I would also like to see
better proportions. I hate it when I buy something made in a plus
size, but the maker of the item does not take into account adjusting
the length or cut. It’s like they make a small size and then add a
few inches to make it plus.. but without considering proportions.
Fashion has thankfully come along way though and I am very thankful.
LargeInCharge.com: What changes do you think will happen if plus
sized modeling for men and women were to expand?
I see a broader acceptance of plus size people happening accompanied
with more awareness of size issues. I think all too often people
judge others based on appearance and they totally forget the fact
that a bigger pant size does not negate one’s humanness. People are
so quick to make assumptions based on stereotypes. If plus size
modeling expands, I think others will realize that plus size people
are productive, put together and valuable members of society.
LargeInCharge.com: Tell us some of the places you buy your clothing
Lane Bryant, Size Appeal (I love them), Old Navy, Torrid, JcPenny’s
(their stuff has really changed for the better) and I LOVE Macys!
LargeInCharge.com: Tell us one of your secret beauty tips.
Make your eyes pop by lining your lower lid with white eyeliner.
Ohhh and Crest Whitestrips..they seriously work!
LargeInCharge.com: Give us some tips on how to have a successful
Photo shoot. What should models be prepared for?
Take good care of what you have!!! Healthy hair, skin, teeth will
really help! Be prepared to work out.. it gets hot and tiring under
lights a makeup. You have to be quick changing clothes. Be relaxed
and remember to have fun…. if you tense up, it will show in the
LargeInCharge.com: Look at Size acceptance five years ago... look at
size acceptance now. What changes do you see?
I think size is less of a factor that it has been. Its nice to see
restrictions on the runway and women who look like more of us in
Hollywood. I think fashions are more available too! I can wear what
I see at Forever 21 and the mall windows. Look at companies like Old
Navy, Baby Phat, Target and so many others that have a great
selection of larger sizes. I love it! I think more companies are
recognizing that some of us have some junk in our trunks and that we
need to cover it too! Movements such as those that have resulted
from Southwest Airlines’ seating policy are paving way for size
acceptance as well. It’s like this movement that started underground
and has now built some serious momentum. Oh..and look at Barbie..
she’s getting bigger too!
LargeInCharge.com: What changes do you think will happen five years
from now with size acceptance?
I would like to
think that all forms of discrimination would be seen as wrong. Just
as racial and sexual discrimination are viewed as wrong, I would
like to think that size discrimination would be seen as hurtful too.
LargeInCharge.com: Tell us about your goals as far as modeling and
I would like my
modeling career to put me through law school…its so expensive! Lol.
Modeling pays really great money.. I just need to learn to save and
stop buying clothes. My biggest goals are political. I would like to
practice law and then run for office locally, statewide and then for
LargeInCharge.com: Can you tell us about an inspirational moment in
you life that made you feel good about your size?
I was sitting in a restaurant waiting for a pizza I had ordered and
a guy was checking me out so much so that he did not notice the
closed glass door in front of him until him, his pizza and his face
bounced off of it…I remember that whenever I forget that I have
fries to go with my shake!! =0) ha!
LargeInCharge.com: Is there a person in your life that makes you
My sister! She works so hard to help me through school and someday I
will give it all back to her ten fold. I love her so much!
LargeInCharge.com: What advice would you give to other people of
size who want to model?
ventured, nothing gained. Try it, do it for fun and never let
rejection get to you. Everyone gets rejected, so it shouldn’t stop
LargeInCharge.com: What plus size figure do you admire?
I admire any
plus size woman that refuses to let her size stop her or be a
determinant for what she is worth.
LargeInCharge.com: Describe yourself with one word.
Thank you for
Finding out more about our Cover
Please send thoughts and comments to
Raqui the Owner and Founder of LargeInCharge Magazine. This
spot is dedicated to her thoughts, vents, and observations of Plus
Sized Life. Raqui's "Tell it like it is" style of
writing has brought hundreds to her blogs and thousands to
LargeInCharge.com. There is so much behind the woman who has
brought this magazine into existence. Being Internationally
known as a wrestler lead the way to modeling for companies and being
featured in magazines and documentaries from all over the world.
She has made a career out of her size and personality.
For the past 4 years moving into Size Acceptance and Empowerment.
She is a woman who doesn't let things get to her. Knock her
down for the moment but she will rise up stronger and better.
Being a speaker on behalf of many subjects and counseling Plus Sized
people online her grace and style has made people love her.
Raqui continues to set an example of a powerful woman who will bend
the world to fit her, her way.
Taking your Identity
Identity Theft, I know you all have
seen this on TV or heard about it on the radio. If you haven't
this is one article you need to read. There are so many
avenues in which a malicious person can take your private
information and then access your identity to rack up debt all in
your name. And your responsible for it. Fighting
Identity theft takes years, police reports and more. Sometimes
people never recover and your credit score is affected. This
can hinder you being able to buy a house, get a loan, start your own
business, or just get a credit card.
When I think about this subject plus sized people come to my mind a
lot. We are the internet buyers who many times cant find
clothing else where and buy just about everything online. I
think about how many of us have lots of club cards and clothing
company cards. Because plus sized clothing is so expensive we
rely on these cards to be able to get clothing and things we need.
Many of the clothing companies we buy from may be small independent
companies, who might not be going by the guidelines and laws now put
up to prevent Identity Theft. Even the big name companies are
getting hacked into and identities are being stolen.
I watched the Montel Williams Show and there was a case of a man who
was dying and while he was in the hospital fighting for his life
someone was racking up a load of debt in his name. On his
death bed the man was fighting so that his family wouldn't have to
deal with debt when he died. By some miracle he lived and he
found out that the person who worked in the hospital lab is the
person who stole his identity knowing he was dying because of the
blood test results! This lab tech figured he wouldn't get
caught because the man would be dead. How many of us plus
sized people go to the hospital and many of us regularly because of
complications due to weight, size, health issues? We cant always
rely on the hospitals and company to safe guard us. We need to
safe guard ourselves.
SEE THE SHOW ABOUT IDENTITY THEFT - Montel Williams
How do I know
Identity Theft will Affect me?
• Do you hand your
credit card to servers at restaurants?
• Do you sign your credit cards?
• Do you supply personal information over the internet?
• Do you keep your Social Security number in your wallet or
• Do you leave mail at your home or business for the postal
carrier to collect?
• Do you shred unwanted mail with personal information?
• Do other people ever run your credit report?
• Can you be sure data security is good at companies that have
People whose identities
have been stolen can spend months or years - and thousands of
dollars - cleaning up the mess the thieves have made of their good
name and credit record. - Federal Trade Commission: When Bad Things
Happen to Your Good Name, September 2002
Victims spend an
average of $1200 to restore their name. - Federal Trade Commission
Americans are more
worried about becoming a victim of Identity Theft than getting laid
off.. - USA Today 2003
Articles on Identity
LargeInCharge has teamed up and found an Identity Specialist who
will give free consultation and help you to save guard our Identity.
You don't want to wait until it is stolen to fight. You want
to prevent it in the first place. Click the link below and
enter your information to talk to a specialist for FREE! I
wish you luck and be careful.
Raqui's Cool Links
Raqui's My Space
Raqui's Yahoo 360
Thank you for
Reading Raqui's Spot
Please send thoughts and comments to
Super Sized Sounds will be a Music Column that will feature those
who are in the industry or up and coming who are size positive.
Giving recognition to the plus
sized people who are out there and showcasing themselves.
Reviews, Interview, News and more from our new writer Super Sized Spanishfly Lynx.
Garcia, also known as "SUPERSIZE SPANISHFLY", is a Latina BBW from
Queens NYC. Lynx is an activist speaking out against size
discrimination and began performing back in 1996 at social events
for big beautiful women and big handsome males and their admirers.
Her special mixture of sound held true as she sang, spat, danced and
performed spoken word, soon she was in demand by
Big and Beautiful parties nationwide. Lynx taking her "look"
and sound mainstream was rejected because of her size. She
did not let this break her spirit, hurt her confidence or minimize
her drive. Instead she rose up and started a public access show
(LYNX' LAIR) aired in Queens on TIME WARNER QPTV . Combination of
comedy and sexy style, she showcased underground artists of all
walks of life. The response to her show was PHENOMENAL....in less
than a year she has showcased many artist, some who moved to bigger
and better things.
Currently Lynx has caught the attention of Joey Mekkah of BLACK
SOLARIS ENTERTAINMENT and found herself on the Grandmaster MELLE
MEL's SOLO ALBUM "MUSCLES" featured on the hot latin hip-hop track
called 'DIMELO", she is the only collaboration on the album. Lynx
recently has started her own radio show on EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO.COM
called Ladies Night. EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO is #1 on the
WANT TO SUBMIT YOUR VOICE FOR REVIEW? See Below
all of my big beautiful people to SUPERSIZE SOUNDS. I am
SUPERSIZE SPANISHFLY LYNX and I will be reviewing the music of
underground and mainstream artists who happen to be large and in charge,
breaking down barriers with their look and sound. LARGE IN CHARGE does
not discriminate, so, I will also be reviewing music from smaller
artists who are supporters of our movement. What is that movement you
may ask?....to be given the same opportunities as anyone else, to be
embraced, accepted and respected in our personal as well as our
professional lives for who we are and our skills and not be judged on
our physical appearance.
There are many wonderful singers, MC’s,
musicians who are plus, full-figured or SUPERSIZE but unfortunately they
are told by the powers that be that they are not marketable because of
their size and as a result many are discouraged and/or many do not have
the money or resources to have their music heard or reviewed…Well,not
anymore …so all of my BHM’s and BBW’s and supporters of the cause who
are looking for some shine and recognition please submit your music for
email@example.com. And now enjoy this
month’s featured artist on SUPERSIZE SOUNDS ……………….. BOMBCHELLE
Bombchelle was born and raised in Somerset, NJ and began writng
poetry at the age of 6 and writing rhymes at age 13. But it wasn’t
until 2004 that she decided to lay down her vocals. Now at age 24,
Bombchelle has managed to sell 15,000 copies of her debut solo album
BOMBCHELLE “ Blowin Up “. She is manager, promoter, booking agent,
and co-owner of GREENHOUSE RECORDINGS and also a single mother.
She is a
full-figured woman who has taken charge of her career and destiny,
but of course, not with out some bumps in the road. With the death
of her father, Bombchelle became depressed and sought solace in bad
company. She also was not happy with her weight as it fluxuated from
a size 10 to 22. She sunk deeper into depression.
“There was a time
when I had a problem with my size. I think it was because I had
people telling me I needed to look a certain way in order to make it
in this industry”. Somewhere deep inside herself Bombchelle found
the strength to overcome the negativity in her life and pursue her
dreams despite her size. ”I’ve learned to accept how I look because
it is a part of who I am and I happen to love who I am, I am
talented, loving, caring, decent and real”.
My people of size,
it doesn’t get any realer than “ Blowin Up “. Bombchelle’s breathy
sexy style, swift delivery and clever lyrics will have you bumpin
and swaying to true life stories. With titles like “Outta Control”
and “Keep Hatin” or my personal favorite “Breakin Da Rules” where
she touches the subject of interracial dating, depression, the
consequences of unprotected sex and the social conscience track
“Get Tested”. The “Struggle” between “Good and Evil” and many more.
a featured artist on L.A. MUSIC PIPELINE with big FM radio which
caters to over ten million listeners with plenty of positive
feedback and she’s been featured on many mixtapes all over the
country most recently“Time
Tickin” hosted by DJ Juanito from New York’s HOT 97.
So my brothers
and sisters of size, trust me when I tell you that Bombchelle is
one to watch out and listen for, just like the title of one of her
songs- Bombchelle is “Musically Ruthless”. And did I mention at a
size 16 she is SUPER sexy MEOW!!
underground full figured artist and purchase her CD @
www.cdbaby.com/cd/bombchelle and you can
hit her up on her myspace page
|Want to send in your
Voice in for review? Are you a singer, rapper, or poet who performs
spoken word? Up and Coming, already established? Contact
Lynx through her Myspace page or email
firstname.lastname@example.org and all information will be forwarded to
her (PUT "FOR LYNX" IN THE SUBJECT AREA)
You must be a Size
Positive Artist, If you are chosen for Review you agree to donate your
submission for the Non Profit Org Second Skin which is in development.
Thanks for reading
Super Sized Sounds with
Lynx Cool Links
the Plus Side
From the Plus side will be column dedicated to short stories that
deal with all aspects of Plus size Life. Emily Smiltneck was
chosen for this position because of her dedication, and realistic
writing style. She captures the emotional and mental rollercoaster
those who are Plus Sized go through.
Emily Susanne Smiltneck lives in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan
(pretty much dead center in the middle of nowhere). She is a
substitute teacher, and has recently started a tutoring business.
Emily is currently working on several writing projects,
including a historical fiction novel and several collections of
In April, he said that I was
adorable, that he had to get to know me, that he didn’t want a
chance at love to pass him by. I believed him because I wanted to,
because no one had ever called me anything but fat before, because I
didn’t want a chance at love to pass me by.
He was from Texas, visiting a friend, a female friend who was
probably a girlfriend, in Michigan, when he came across me. He
approached and stood silent, staring, while I wondered who he was
and what was wrong with him. We talked briefly, he boldly and I
hesitantly, and then we parted with a promise to meet again before
he left town.
I was happy, excited, nervous, scared. Male flattery was something
completely new to me and I didn’t know quite what to do with it. I
didn’t sleep that night.
We met again and explored each other’s thoughts, ideas,
perspectives. I found him odd in many ways, but my lack of
experience wouldn’t let me trust my own judgment, and so I carried
on. He asked if he could hug me before he left, and because I
couldn’t think of a reason to say no, I said yes. He hugged me and
did not let go. When I stepped back, he stepped forward. When I let
go, he held me tighter.
When I tried to
disengage, he buried himself in me
“I need to leave,” I finally said softly, and he slowly backed away.
“I hope we see each other again,” he said, and I could hear tears in
“We will,” I reassured, and then I drove away.
In May, on the phone, he said he liked big girls, that they made him
feel safe, that he needed lots of hugs and he hated hugs from skinny
girls because they were all bones and their bodies hurt him. This
He said that he loved me, and he said that he didn’t want to be
alone, and he said that he wanted to get married, have kids, be
happy. He asked if he could come and visit me, because he was so
sure he loved me, because he needed hugs, because he needed to be
smothered with love. This frightened me.
The quiet voice inside of me replied that he didn’t know me well
enough to love me, that I didn’t love him back, that he was moving
too fast and his feelings were coming too soon. Aloud, I only said
that it seemed too soon for love. He cried and said that he wanted a
woman and he wanted babies, and he wanted love. I was afraid of him;
I was afraid of what he wanted from me, and afraid to hurt him by
telling him so.
But I couldn’t tell a soul that I was afraid. It seemed too vain to
say that someone loved me, and even more so to say I didn’t love him
back. What right do I have, I thought, to turn this man down, when
he’s the only one who will have me?
Each time he called me to cry and I verbally dried his tears, I hung
up the phone and my own tears fell free.
In June, he was happy. He didn’t cry at all, and although he
couldn’t keep from singing out his love for me, at least he stopped
asking me to love him in return. Life was good; though I didn’t like
to admit it to myself, it felt good to have someone love me,
especially since he no longer required any action or reaction from
me. He was safe. My fear subsided. Then he told me what he wanted to
do with me, all the things that men and women do, and fear lodged
itself within me once again.
“I’ve never done that before,” I whispered. He paused for five, ten,
one thousand seconds, and then asked me why. “I don’t know,” I
answered through my tears. “Maybe you should ask all the men who
never look at me, or talk to me, or touch me, that question. They
know the answer better than I do.” It was his turn to comfort me
“It’s okay. I’m the man for you.”
In July, he cried again; he said, “They spit on me when I talk to
them. They don’t like me and I don’t know why. They hate me.”
I’m not your therapist, I thought, and I don’t know how to help you.
“Who are ‘they’?” I asked him.
“All of them,” he wailed, “All of them. I just want someone to hug
me. I hurt so bad. My feet hurt and my knees hurt and my shoulders
hurt and I just want someone to hold me until it all goes away.” He
cried himself to sleep on the phone as I pictured hundreds of
faceless bodies gathered around him, spitting.
“If you didn’t try so hard, come on so strong, they would like you
more. I would like you more,” I whispered, but of course he didn’t
hear me. He slept and I waited, resenting his intrusion on my time
and yet, somehow, unable to hang up. I was afraid I would hurt him
if I did, and he seemed to already be the bearer of more pain than
any man should carry.
“You still there?” he asked, startled from sleep by something
unknown to me. Maybe by my thoughts.
“Of course I am.”
“Don’t leave me.”
I wanted to tell him I had to go. I wanted to tell him he was too
much work for me, that I was suddenly far too tired to be his
counselor, his life coach, his mother, anymore. But who am I to
judge, I wondered silently. I am no better than he is. He is crying
to me about how lonely and sad his life is, and yet my life is even
more sad, even more lonely, by his standards. He has loved and lost,
and I have never loved.
I stayed on the phone, while he slept, for over an hour.
In August, he asked me for my professional opinion. “Do you think
there’s something wrong with me? Do you think I have autism, or I’m
retarded? Some people say so.”
“I don’t know. I can’t diagnose you. I’m not a doctor. I think that
all people are different, though, and if you know yourself, a
diagnosis does not matter. Just be who you are.”
He told me, then, about his past. He had been adopted, right after
he was born, and raised by a kind woman with a drug-addicted
husband. He had been home-schooled because he had problems, and he
had been lonely and treated badly, and as a result, had even more
problems. When he was eighteen, he had found his birth mother on the
Internet, discovered his twin brother, learned more about his life.
His birth mother had been told that he and his brother had cerebral
palsy, and she hadn’t felt equipped to deal with that, so she had
given them away to someone she trusted more than she trusted
Then it turned out there was no cerebral palsy, just some minor
brain-stem damage. (Later, this would explain a lot.)
In September and October, I did not hear from him. At the same time
that I was relieved to be free of our awkward two-hour phone calls,
I missed him. I wondered if he still liked me, or if he had found
someone better. It seems to be a flaw of human nature, I thought,
that it hurts to be rejected even by those whose opinions we reject.
I did not call him because I did not wish to pursue. I didn’t want
to want someone who didn’t want me back, I didn’t want to take the
lead, and I wasn’t sure his absence from my life was a bad thing.
Finally, there was an e-mail message: “I can’t pay my phone bill.
Phone got shut off. Lots of love.”
He still liked me! I smiled. Lots of love—he still loved me, too. My
smile faded. I was confused.
In November he called me, excited, at four a.m. “You’ll be so proud
of me!” he shouted, then rattled on. “I paid for my phone and it’s
prepaid so as long as I pay ahead they will never shut it off and I
have text messaging now and I paid my car insurance so it’s legal
now and I got my electricity paid so it’s turned back on and I had
to go to a bunch of different offices but I did it and it’s all
done. Are you proud of me?”
“And I want to come visit soon. I work for Continental so it only
costs me twenty-five dollars to fly and I can fly into Green Bay and
you can pick me up there and I can leave my car in the west parking
lot because it is free and I can stay at your house and we can do
all kinds of things together and I want to come as soon as I can.
Can I come this weekend?”
“I—don’t know. I hadn’t planned on having company.”
“I only work Mondays through Thursdays so I can leave after work on
Thursday on the 8:15 flight and transfer in Chicago and get to Green
Bay by noon and then I can stay until Monday because I can take
Monday off so I will leave on the 2:30 flight Monday afternoon.”
“Can’t we wait until after Christmas? I don’t really have time for
company right now.”
“Yes,” he said, slowly and quietly.
In December, he called and said January fourteenth, and I said okay.
And in January, he came to see me. I was afraid. Afraid of him,
afraid of me, afraid of what might happen between us, afraid of what
might not happen between us, afraid of everything. I was afraid to
go pick him up. I was afraid to move. I was afraid that when he saw
me again, I would suddenly be too fat, too ugly, too anything, and
that he wouldn’t like me anymore. I was afraid he would like me too
The day that I picked him up, everything was fine. My heart jumped
into my throat when I saw him walking toward me, more from nerves
than from excitement. He looked just the same. He had the posture of
an upper primate that was not quite human, arms dangling from his
shoulders as he walked quickly towards me, shoulders slumped
forward. I could see the brain stem damage, but I convinced myself
it didn’t matter, that he was more human than he looked, that things
were going to be okay. He still liked me. I could still pretend I
liked him back.
And then things changed.
I didn’t let him stay at my house because I didn’t know him as well
as I would have liked. Instead, we split the cost of a hotel room,
and for that first night, he wanted me to stay with him. I was
unsure and I was afraid and so I refused. By the time I got home, he
had called me twice to make sure I was okay and to ask if I was
really going to come back the next day. I reassured him. He called
again fifteen minutes later, just to be sure. I told him I needed
sleep and I would see him at noon. At 9:30 in the morning, he was on
the phone again, to see when I was coming back. He called twice
more. Finally, I got back to him; he was still afraid I wasn’t
He told everyone we saw that we were dating. It was hard to dislike
someone who was so proud to be with me, but after hearing for the
thousandth time how we met as he explained the whole thing yet again
to some uninterested passer-by, it began to make me feel ill.
We went out with friends and he spent the entire night with his head
on my chest, like a breast-feeding infant. He couldn’t pull himself
away. Every second that we were not in physical contact, he looked
like a lost child. I could not be by myself for more time than it
took to use the bathroom, and whenever I did use the bathroom, he
panicked and asked my friends where I was and if I was coming back.
We watched movies at a friend’s house and he picked his toe jam from
between his toes and sucked it off of his fingers. He refused to
bathe unless I showered with him; since I refused to do so, he never
showered at all. He asked me if I loved him, if I liked him, how I
felt about him more times than I can count. He wouldn’t let me
Finally, finally, I delivered him back to the airport. I hugged him
good-bye. I kissed him, one last time. He cried when I left him. And
then, I left. I left him behind and I could breathe again. I drove
home, a little sad because I could feel his sadness, but mostly
light-hearted. I was free!
He called me again, and again, and again. For a while I played
along, but whenever I did, I cried. I didn’t want to hurt him, and
in not hurting him, I was hurting him even more. After a while, I
only answered every third phone call, or every fifth. And soon I
never answered at all.
At the end of January, he left me alone. And I missed him. I hated
him and he scared me and I didn’t enjoy his company and he turned my
stomach, but I missed him. I missed the way it felt to be loved. And
Thanks for reading
From the Plus Side with
Emily's Cool Links
Why, OH Why will be column dedicated to all the experiences Plus
Sized people go through that make you want to say WHY OH WHY does
this have to be. Part vent, part inspiration this column will
surely be one that readers will related to. Diabolique Belle was
chosen for this position because of her flare for telling it like it
is and turning it around for the better.
Diabolique Belle originates from Brooklyn, NY. She is
a computer specialist who passionately loves making toiletries and
designing gift baskets. She is capricious and dynamically outgoing
and loves to say what she means and she means what she says.
Diabolique is currently working on several entrepreneurial
endeavors, including taking her toiletry hobby to a professional
level and transitioning her writing hobby into an erotic mystery
available in plus sizes
Get in where you fit
in. That is the goal of most human beings. Most people want to find
a place for themselves within society. Find a job and/or career,
have a place to live, gather some stuff to make their dwelling look
and feel presentable. From there each individual’s goals vary and
differ but the basic needs of all mortals are the same; food, water,
air, shelter, and safety.
How do we relate to
others? It often amazes me how harsh and crass we have the tendency
to be when dealing with something or someone that doesn’t meet the
criteria we set for normal. As routinely as we breathe, judgment is
handed down to those we deem contemptible. Everyday millions of
people elect themselves judge, jury and executioner. Callousness and
cruelty are the only sentences befitting such loathsome creatures.
People, is the word
that escapes you.
Yes, let’s dive deeper
into the dichotomy of the plus sized world. I dare to expose what is
and isn’t suitable from a plus sized person. As quiet as it is kept,
there are two sets of rules for everyone alive. There are rules for
themselves and rules for everyone else. There is acceptable and
unacceptable behavior. There are attitudes and characteristics that
are tolerable from certain types of people. We all have those
moments where we are exposed to someone acting a way that just
doesn’t suit their personality or appearance. For example, the five
foot midget with the Napoleon complex. There are just particular
characteristics that we do not attribute to certain “types” of
people. As unbiased and open as we claim to be; we have very
discriminatory views. We expect ugly people to know they are ugly
and to act accordingly.
Come on…Let’s be real
for a moment. Let us deviate from our regularly scheduled world of
pretense and imagination and dabble in reality just for a moment.
Ugly people should act
like they know they are ugly. Of course they have “special”
qualities make them tolerable. They hopefully have a dynamic
personality which makes them sociable. There is nothing worse than
an ugly man or woman with a nasty attitude. Would you want to deal
with them? Now, I of all people understand that beauty is a matter
of perception. What is beautiful to one person may be hideously ugly
to another person. However, the one thing that is undeniable is that
every single person has a notion of what they deem ugly.
Ugly, it’s such a fluid
concept. That hair style is ugly. That purse is ugly. That outfit is
ugly. That person’s personality is ugly. The way they present
themselves is just plain ugly. That fat girl in those tight jeans is
just plan trifling. Nobody wants see all that! She knew when she
squeezed her fat behind into those jeans that she was just dead
If I was her size, I
would not have that tight shirt on with all those rolls hanging
out. That is a hot mess.
How dare a fat woman
feel comfortable enough with herself to put on clothing that made
her feel good and go outside. Who does she think she is?
Yes, society secretly
feels that fat people don’t have the right to feel good about
themselves. Do you disagree? Let’s take a closer look.
I interviewed with G
who is a 32 year old executive producer / engineer. Here is our
Diabolique: G, thank
you for taking the time to chat with me today. We had previously
spoken about your issues with self confidence & esteem and your
attempts to improve both. How are you coming along with that?
G: It's much better
now. I learned not to get to emotional over it. I've accepted
myself, and love myself more for it.
Diabolique: Can I ask
you what contributed to your esteem being low? Is your self esteem
linked to issues with your weight?
G: Well, I started
being a heavier person when I turned 10. I was made fun of by a camp
counselor at a swimming pool because he thought that I had the chest
of a girl. He kept saying, "GET A BRA!!!!!!" Not exactly something
that you want to tell a 10 year old child; especially screaming it
Diabolique: No, I
don’t think that is something you should tell a child. Did you
report the incident to anyone?
Diabolique: Why not?
G: I didn't. I have
no idea why I didn't tell anyone.
Diabolique: So, you
were attacked at an early age about your size. I imagine it didn't
get better as you grew older.
G: Oh no. Sometimes, I
still get teased or looks about it. But I figure it like this: they
can all kiss my high yella a**. I'm happy with who I am and what I
have accomplished in my life so far. If they are unaccepting of me
as a person, then so be it. Besides, maybe they need to look within
themselves to find their own flaws & fears.
Diabolique: Do you
receive any grief on the job because of your size
G: No. At the gym I
used to go to, I would sometimes get stares from men & women who
probably thought I couldn't move like I do. I guess those 10+ years
studying Tae Kwon Do paid off. Because when I punch, kick and block,
it scares people to see how fast I can move.
Diabolique: I bet they
think twice about messing with you. Tell me a bit about your
G: My personality is
part cynical, part playful, and an old fashioned romantic. Actually,
it's an amalgamation of different things.
Diabolique: I know
from interacting with you that you are somewhat on the passive
side....does that have anything to do with your self esteem or
weight? I find a lot of times heavier men tend to be quite passive.
G: More of my
personality. I'm aggressive ONLY when I need to be. A fighter fights
because they want to fight. A true warrior fights when there's no
Diabolique: In your
opinion G....what is it that makes overweight people feel like they
are less of a person...that they have to atone for being overweight
by being overly nice or not causing a fuss.
G: Part of it being
self esteem. But, I also think that it has to do with society;
especially in Western society. Here in the U.S., you still have
some people who feel that you have to be a certain shape and / or
weight in order to be considered attractive. Trust me, that's total
is. Tyra, Beyonce, Halle....them heffa's ain't got nuffin on me.
G: I feel you. Don't
get me wrong, I have respect for them. But just because they are a
certain shape or weight, it doesn't make them better or worse than
<--------looking from side to side. Them skinny heffa's don't have
nuffin on me. I'm telling you...
Diabolique: But, I
digress. Now that you are working on your self esteem....do you see
the difference? Are there things that you may have let go before
that isn’t acceptable to you now? Do you anticipate people
responding to you differently?
G: Oh, hell yes. I
notice that I'm much more open with people. I've learned to let go
of fear, past grudges, and self doubt. I've also learned to love
myself, but be humble. As far as anticipation of people responding
to me differently; yes, I do expect that. But, we'll see what the
Diabolique: Let me
ask...what are you doing to boost your self esteem. How are you
actually accomplishing it?
G: Just the basics:
Reading more. Going out to experience life and all its wonders,
getting into working out and living a healthy life.
Diabolique: Are you
working out to gain shape or lose weight?
G: A little of both,
actually. I love to lose weight. But at the same time, I'm trying to
tone and sculpt my body. Not to please society. Just to please
myself, and no one else.
Diabolique: Well, I
know its almost quitting time for you G. Thank you for taking time
with me today.
G: Not a problem,
Why would an adult traumatize a child
like that? He obviously had an issue with fat people; but, for him
to have the balls to move his personal disapproval the next level
publicly humiliate a
young child is unacceptable! Or is it? Should G have known that his
appearance was unsightly and not participated in any swimming
activities? Maybe G should have had enough self control and common
sense not to “get fat” in the first place. His negligence came with
understandable consequences and repercussions. He should have known.
He should have known he was setting himself up to be the blunt of
jokes. He should have known he would be scorned and reviled. He
should have known that he was different. He should have known he was
not allowed to participate in regular activities because of his
size. He should have known that because he was fat…he was not
allowed to enjoy himself.
More importantly, his
childhood experiences should have prepared him for his adulthood
life. He should have been prepared for the looks. He should have
been prepared for stares. He should have been used to being made to
feel like less of a person.
He is not alone.
All people who make the
choice to be fat should know what comes along with their decision.
There is a mountain of evidence that shows them how things are going
to proceed along. Do fat people have cute clothing? Not really. Does
society portray fat people in a positive light in films? No. Does
the media affirm plus sized people? Not really. Do fat people have
role models on film? On a grand scale, are fat people portrayed
successfully or positively? No. Are there plus sized models?
Negative. Are there fashion shows debuting plus sized clothing?
Again, can we get a big fat No!
Society never has been
very tolerant of those who are dissimilar. The handicap, the
deformed, the deaf, the blind, the mentally challenged and others
have all fallen under the merciless eye and tongue of the world.
Scores of jokes have pierced the hearts and egos of a multiplicity
of anyone who isn’t “standard”. Any attempt to deviate from a plan
of low self esteem and low self image is scoffed down and silently
marked for sabotage. Each comedy spoof reminds us that our weight
makes us the easy prey. One look at television and we are
continuously reminded that we are not normal. Every magazine
broadcasts that we will not easily gain acceptance.
However, maybe it isn’t
entirely their fault. Maybe we need to stop recklessly giving away
so much power and influence to people who haven’t earned it. Maybe
we need to learn that it is no one’s job to make us happy. Happiness
along with peace of mind and self acceptance is a choice that you
have to make every single day. The same way you focus on what is
wrong with you… you can make the decision to focus on all that you
have to offer. While it is easier to believe the negativity that has
been sown into your spirit; at some point you have to find the
strength to love yourself. If you can’t, no one else will.
I wish there was an
easy answer. I had a slew of witty antics that would make light of
the situation. I wish had immediate answers that would fix the
problem right off.
However, I do not.
The task of changing
the mindset of one person is difficult enough, let alone the mindset
of a group of people.
The road to acceptance
is a long and lonely road. It is one you will travel alone once you
are ready. You have to learn to affirm yourself. You have to learn
to accept yourself. You have to refuse to become a victim. You must
learn that no matter what size you are…people will always have
something to say. There has to come a point where you decide to
wallow in your strengths instead of your weaknesses. Focus on your
attention on what you like about yourself and strengthen those
areas. Understand that if you don’t accept yourself…no one else
will. If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to
love you? We walk around thinking out flaws are being broadcasted
for everyone and anyone to see and scoff at. The truth is that
people can only see what we show them and they view things from a
very limited perspective to begin with. Most people project what is
wrong with them onto others. This is the rule for insecure people;
they feel that if they compliment or make room for you; it
diminishes or takes away from them. As if the world was only big
enough to acknowledge one person at a time. Their insecurities
paint a picture that does not necessarily mirror reality. They feel
vulnerable and exposed. In an attempt to shield their faults from
the world; they find an easy and ready target and zone in taunting
and fingering. Desperately praying that people will be too occupied
to notice what is wrong with them. Once the mockery is complete,
they set themselves up to be in the spotlight to receive praise and
Being overweight is not
a curse. It is not an affliction. It is not a disability. It is not
something that you have to apologize for nor do you need to shrink
into the shadows. Having a consecutive amount of pounds in a row
(that is what I tell people when they ask me how much I weigh) is
simply a stage of life. Being a plus sized person, like anything
else, does not have to become the defining moment of your life. It
is simply another topic in the book that is your life.
You have the right to
feel good about yourself. You have the right to wake up in the
morning and feel like the most beautiful creation on the face of the
earth. You and each pound that you strut are no less beautiful than
anyone else. You have the right to be confident. You have the right
to be cocky. You have the right to be arrogant. You have the right
to know that anyone caught up in the physical is not worth your time
and effort in the first place. You have the right to be picky about
whom you allow in your life. You have the right to live and live
Plus sizes…..BAD TO THE
Thanks for reading
Why, OH Why with Diabolique
Diabolique Cool Links
This month's Article:
Papi's Peace A column dedicated to the Large man and his mind.
Papi a Chicago native takes the concerns of the Big man and brings
it to light,
realizing that sometimes his thoughts and feelings are not always so
secure. A how to column that deals with the issues that many
men deal with in today's society. He also hits the many
aspects of living life large and putting your best foot forward as a
big person. Papi was chosen because of
his dedication to motivate and weekly inspirational emails he sends
to many people across the net has helped and captured many.
Papi has a flair for making difficult situations a bit more easier
to deal with. Part motivation, part realism, lots of
observation and a big helping of tell it like it is. Papi has
used humor with to deliver every month.
"A man too busy to take care of
his health is like a mechanic too busy to take care of his
tools." Spanish Proverb
"There is more to life than
increasing its speed." Gandhi
"Show me a worrying person and I
will show you a person who does not know how to relax." Albert
"No matter how much pressure you
feel at work, if you could find ways to relax for at least five
minutes every hour, you'd be more productive." Dr. Joyce
"The time to relax is when you
don't have time for it." Sydney J. Harris
"For fast-acting relief try
slowing down." Lily Tomlin
"Take rest; a field that has
rested gives a bountiful crop." Ovid
"Tension is who you think you
should be. Relaxation is who you are." Chinese Proverb
"He enjoys true leisure who has
time to improve his soul's estate." Henry David Thoreau
"The mind should be allowed some
relaxation, that it may return to its work all the better for
the rest." Seneca
"Sometimes it's important to work
for that pot of gold. But other times it's essential to take
time off and to make sure that your most important decision in
the day simply consists of choosing which color to slide down on
the rainbow." Douglas Pagels
"When we are unable to find
tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it
elsewhere." Francois de La Rochefoucauld
"Relaxation means releasing all
concern and tension and letting the natural order of life flow
through one's being." Donald Curtis
"Your mind will answer most
questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer."
William S. Burroughs
"Stress is an ignorant state. It
believes that everything is an emergency. Nothing is that
important." Natalie Goldberg
"Health is not valued till
sickness comes." Dr. Thomas Fuller
"Make your own recovery the first
priority in your life." Robin Norwood
"A good laugh and a long sleep
are the best cures in the doctor's book." Irish Proverb
"Health is not simply the absence
of sickness." Hannah Green
"The greatest wealth is health."
"As I see it every day you do one
of two things: build health or produce disease in yourself."
"It is amazing how much crisper
the general experience of life becomes when your body is given a
chance to develop a little strength." Frank Duff
"Money can buy a tonic, but not
health." M. K. Soni
"Cherish your health: If it is
good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is
beyond what you can improve, get help." George Carlin
If You Can't Find Time For
Recreation, Sooner Or Later Your Body Will Make Time For Illness
by Dr. Alan Zimmerman
You may be proud of how hard you work
and how much work you accomplish. I know I am. But I also know
there's a limit. You and I can't keep on working, day and night,
five-six-seven days a week forever. Eventually, the body will say
"enough is enough".
Years ago there was a saying that
"all work and no play makes a person dull." Today, it's probably
more accurate to say that "all work and no play makes a person dead.
"In fact, Japan has a special government program to compensate
widows and widowers whose spouses literally work themselves to
Unfortunately, it's not easy to find
time for recreation. We're all so busy these days. There's more work
than ever and fewer people to do it. And, to make it even more
difficult, companies tend to reward people whose lives are totally
out of balance. They're given more respect and bigger paychecks.
So what should you do if you're
feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, burned out, or off balance?
First, realize you'll never be finished, and that's okay. No matter
how hard you work, you'll never get it all done. Even on the day you
die, there'll still be a few things in your in box you didn't get
Perhaps you were raised like I was.
My father always said "First you work, then you play. Get all your
work done, and then you can relax. "While that's not bad advice, it
is irresponsible advice in today's world. You and I will never be
done, and we must realize that's okay. It really is.
Once you accept that, the second
thing you must do is schedule some recreation. It sounds strange to
put some free time or fun time on your calendar, but I've learned if
it's not on the calendar, it doesn't happen. So plan some time and
then take some time for recreation before you end up with "wreckreation".
And finally, refuse to be proud of
your busyness. As Lee Iacocca said, "Over the years, I've had many
executives come to me and say with pride: 'Boy, last year I worked
so hard that I didn't take any vacation.' It's nothing to be proud
I always feel like responding: 'You
dummy. You mean to tell me that you can take responsibility for an
$80 million project and you can't plan two weeks out of the year to
go off with your family and have some fun?'"
Action on work-life balance:
This week put an hour of recreation
on your calendar. Schedule an activity that you will do just for the
health of it. The only criterion you must follow is that whatever
you choose, it must be something that will make you feel re-created
or re-energized afterwards.
Slow Down (Slow Down). 'Cuz I can't
beat the heat. Slow Down. Slow Down, baby. - "Slow Down" - Loose
This is a perfect example of when
Papi needs to practice what he preaches. Last month I told you that
we would discuss health. Well, this months Peace is not just for you
family. It is also therapy for me. I am once again trying to take
heed of my own advice. I KNOW I run around 2 much. I know I don't
get enough sleep. I know it seems I am always sick. I KNOW.
Diabetes. Hypertension. Heart Attack.
Stroke. Sleep Apnea. I know that we . . . Scratch that. I know that
I am at risk as much as my people are. And as much as I do to take
care of myself and be healthier, I prolly do as much damage at the
same time. I'm working on it.
Sleep. When do I sleep? Why don't I
go to sleep? Do I ever sleep? Jeah, I have heard it all before. I am
a night owl. Can't help it. In my defense I was born at 9:55 p.m. I
don't think my internal clock ever adjusted. So jeah, I am up late.
A lot. All the time. So when do I sleep? Prolly watching that movie
on DVD. Or after I eat that BIG meal and I am lounging on the couch.
Or when I fall asleep in the middle of Sports Center, just to wake
up an hour later trying to play catch up and see what I missed from
the last hour. A vicious cycle that I have often been caught in all
I ALREADY know. Please believe me when I tell you I know.
It's incredible how things happen. As
I wrote this, a loved on of mine just told me an uncle died of a
heart attack. He was not 50. He was not obese. And he WAS a doctor.
I know no details but I do know that our people are at a higher risk
for such occurrences and simply KNOWING this should make a
difference in someone's life.
So not only do you need to find time
for recreation and play, but also find time to take care of
yourself. You CANNOT afford to not like going to the doctor. Women,
get checked out. Get a breast exam (http://www.komen.org/bse).
See your gynecologist! Men, get regular checkups. Check out your
Family, we must step it up. Our health is our EVERYTHING. Don't take
Being overweight AND being African
American, I am at risk for many ailments and those in the same
category as me needs to be aware and educated of all these risks.
Below are some VERY helpful links and I hope that you check them ALL
American Sleep Apnea Association
American Diabetes Association
American Heart Association
American Heart Association - Hypertension
American Heart Association - Special message for African Americans.
International Society on Hypertension in Blacks. About hypertension.
The International Society on Hypertension in Blacks (ISHIB) is a
unique, not-for-profit, professional, medical, membership society,
whose mission is to improve the health and life expectancy of ethnic
minority populations around the world.
On the road we have signs and
warnings telling us to be careful and slow down. Colors. Flashing
lights. Plenty of warnings. In life we have different warnings and
signs that let us know we need to be careful with our bodies. Don't
ignore these warnings. If you do, the next warning could kill you.
Then you will WISH you had slowed
Have a wonderful month!
I love you.
Thank you for
Reading Papi's Peace
Please send thoughts and comments to
Good 4 U Food
Good... Healthy Food
By: Xander - The Food
The Story of the
thought considering the month a story of inspiration should be on
I woke up shivering the morning of Thanksgiving Day 1969. I'd
pulled a canvas tarp over me while laying on a hay bail in a barn
just off the road I was hitchhiking on, north of Sacramento going
north to Oregon. Freeway 5 was closed for repairs so I found myself
on some country road in the middle of no where. I couldn't sleep
with all those roosters crowing in my ear so I quietly sneaked back
to the road with my friend Tom. We saw the sun come up to another
clear crisp chilly California sunny day. The road was completely
deserted of cars for a long time until a black man in a white pick
up finally came by and graciously pulled over to pick us up. He
headed north to the freeway and let us off at the first off ramp,
again in the middle of no where.
We stood there on the side
of the freeway for a long time watching the sun slowly rise in the
sky and feeling our tongues slowly swell with thirst and hunger. Why
was I doing this?
It must've been noon with
the sun high and the air hot and dry. I thought, "I must be out of
God's will. Nobody has come down this road to pick us up." I said,
"Why don't we test God to see what His will is. You stand on one
side of the road and I'll stand on the other. The one who gets the
first ride, that's the way we're suppose to go."
But then my heart smote me.
I hadn't come this far to go back. I knew it was for God that I'd
come this far. How could I be so irresolute? I wasn't anywhere near
dead yet. I sure was in pain though, physical, mental, emotional,
and spiritual pain.
Then I said, "Why don't we
go over to that almond grove and see if we can get something to
eat?" Tom agreed. So we jumped the fences and started going from
tree to tree. Not one almond! I saw another grove on the other side
of the drainage ditch and said, "Let's try over there." I found one
hanging on a tree and another on the ground, but nothing else. So we
We jumped the fences back
to the road and stood there quiet, thinking, praying. No traffic. I
thought about all the early settlers, our forefathers who had walked
into this land a hundred years ago. I thought about the early saints
and Israelites who'd persevered though their wildernesses. Finally
it came to me I shouldn't just be dependent on some driver who might
pass by. If God wants me to go to Oregon I could walk just like all
those who've paved this road before me. So I said to Tom, "Let's
walk to a better place to hitchhike." I could see a long way. I
didn't see a better place to hitchhike. But any place was better
So we started walking
through what felt like the Sahara desert. The sun baking down on our
skin, the dry wind, the thirst, and the breeze of the cars going by.
I didn't even turn to the traffic any more, I just put out my left
arm, thumb up.
I was looking down at the
gravel and sand I was walking on just putting one foot in front of
the other. Then I saw a pebble that looked strangely different than
the others and stopped to look at it. Tom caught up and said, "What
are you looking at?" I bent down and picked up an almond just laying
there along the side of the road.
We joked and rejoiced and
said grace and very carefully divided it up savoring every morsel.
Then we started stepping down the road again. Again and again we
stopped and stooped to pick up more almonds until we started putting
them in our pockets.
Then a white station wagon
pulled over in front of us and we ran up to it. The couple inside
offered us a ride and said to get in the back seat. When we got in
we saw the floor covered with almonds! They were almond growers who
had just harvested. They said, "Help yourself."
They gave us a ride to a
perfect place to hitchhike. We'd hardly got out of the car before
someone else stopped and gave us a ride all the way to the front
door of the commune we were going to in central Oregon, 10 miles off
the freeway. We ate Thanksgiving dinner with them and slept under
warm blankets that night.
Just before I woke up the
next morning I heard a voice asking me, "Where were the almonds?" I
said, "Lord, not on the trees, but on the road." Then was opened to
me even further the scripture in Matthew 6:31 - 33, "... Do not be
anxious then, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?'
or 'With what shall we clothe ourselves?'. For all these things the
Gentiles eagerly seek; for your heavenly Father knows that you need
all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness;
and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not be
anxious for tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day
has enough trouble of its own. ..."
-- Written by Alan Bane –
I always loved this story. It reminds me of several life
don’t know where to go
don’t know how to get there
don’t know what we’re suppose to do
But we should
always have the faith that we are where, when, and how we are
supposed to be to do what we are to do.
Xander - The Food Dude
Xander's Recipe of the Month
These Almonds rolls are a traditional Swedish cookie. Very tasty.
While it uses brown sugar, it still only has 8.6 carbs per cookie.
Give these a try with a tall glass of ice cold milk. You’ll love
it…… trust me !
1 cup packed
to 330 degrees F. Grease cookie sheets.
butter or margarine and sugar until light and fluffy. Stir in
eggs and vanilla.
flour and salt and add to butter mixture. Stir well.
to very fine pieces and stir into mixture.
teaspoonfuls onto cookie sheets about 5 inches apart. Bake for 8
minutes, or until edges begin to brown.
As soon as
cookies are cool enough to handle, roll each one around the
handle of a wooden spoon or pencil. If cookies become too
brittle, reheat for a few seconds.
Servings Per Recipe: 30
Amount Per Serving
He Has Risen Rolls
This is a short process. Over the last three years I have done
it on the television show the week before Easter. I generally get
the best response of the year by far. Kids and adults alike love
this. Add to the fun, it’s a great teaching tool. Enjoy.
pkg. refrigerated biscuits
Egg Wash (egg beaten with a few drops of water
Separate biscuits and flatten each one. Place 1 marshmallow in the
center of each and wrap dough around it completely, pinching the
edges to seal. Roll into a ball shape. Place on a well greased,
foil-lined baking sheet. Brush with egg wash and bake according to
directions on biscuit package. When done, allow to cool, then break
open biscuits. They will be hollow inside. Serve with jam or honey.
thing I have started doing is to take a toothpick and make a cross
on one end of the marshmallow. Put the marked end of the
marshmallow into the biscuit first. When baked, the hollow cavity
will have no marshmallow, but it will have a cross on the back wall
of the biscuit where the marshmallow was. Again, a great learning
tool for the Easter Sunday or any day. May God Bless and Keep you.
Thank you for
Reading Good Food 4U
By Xander the Food Dude
Please send thoughts and comments to
Large In Charge Guest Spot
We want to hear and see your
One of our
favorite parts of the newsletter. The Guest Spot is for our readers to
submit there talents to be viewed. We want to see all you wonderful
supporters making moves of your own. If you write poetry, short
stories, commentaries, or just thoughts in general, please submit them to
us. If your a designer we want to see pictures of your clothing. We would love to
include your talents in our newsletter. We hope you take an active
part in the L.I.C. newsletter. Send in your article, poetry, comments to -
The Opinion of the writer
is not always the opinion of The Large in Charge Staff. We support the
Right to all views. We do not Condemn or Approve writing
based on our personal thoughts. We approve writing based on if the
subject is a concern for the BBW / SSBBW / BHM Community. Thank you
for your writing and please send in those articles! - The Large in
YOUR PICTURE HERE!
We love our guest
writers, they help us to make LargeInCharge
more personal and reader friendly place. We bring the
people words from there own peers. If you always wanted to
write but never knew what to do with your thoughts and opinions.
Send them in to us we love to feature you in our guest spot.
type of entries do we accept?
Articles that have not been placed in
Size Empowerment Stories
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Poetry - at least 25 lines in length
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How to Submit my Article
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Send in your stories, poems, etc. to
Ask your Questions and
We will answer!
question to Raqui -
Opinion of Raqui is just that. I do not claim to be
professional or to solve your problems. I can however
give you a real answer that may help you out.
Raqui, so i noticed that beneath my breasts and
folds, i got skin breakdown and its really hurting now,
what can I do?
Ok now what i want you
to do is make sure you wash and pat dry. Then air dry.
Let all the moisture dissolve and let your skin get some
If you can get to the dr. ask for this type of cream
Fluocinonide Ointment USP, 0.05%
This can be used for all types of breakdowns all over
after you are healed up use Vagisil powder in those
areas and crease's it really protects the skin and helps
to keep you dry with out drying out your skin. Make sure
to let your body air dry as often as possible. This
In the mean time before you get to the dr. use some of
the palmers cocoa butter the solid one in the jar. This
will help but to prevent and really heal it up right get
the ointment I stated above.
Dear Raqui, tell me
with all the attention being focused on full-figured
women these days, why big men are not getting much love.
Are full-figured women still attracted to big men?
I think everything comes in turns.
Big men were the thing for many years seen at powerful
and rich. Now big women are getting there turn.
think full figured women are attracted to big men.
I know I am I am a big Micheal Clark Dunchan fan.
His Armageddon days not his now smaller days. Many
women love big ole teddy bears.
What is the stupidest
question someone ever asked you on your size?
I was asked if I was pregnant. I told
them no i am just fat. But if they wanted to they
could pretend and rub my belly LOL.
me a secret of your Raqui on your beautiful skin.
Raqui: I wash
with plain water sometimes and I use Queen Hellene
Juniper Facial scrub.
Thank you for
Reading Ask Raqui
Please send thoughts, comments and
Large In Charge
BBW/BHM Fashion of the
We all hate how the Fashion Industry is just scratching the
surface when it comes to Large Sized Fashion. But I have
found out that many clothing stores and online companies are
beginning to take up the slack. Creative BBW, SSBBW and
BHM's are making there own clothing or mix matching and finding
basic everyday wear and night club wear.
Making it affordable is what can be hard so showcase your
wonderful finds here. If your a regular shopper, sew your
own clothing or a designer showcase your clothing here by
submitting a picture for Fashion Furious of the month.
Fashion Furious of the Month
send in your Fashion Find. Send a Clear Picture as
use the Format Below to describe your Fashion
Email to Raqui:
I love these Under shirts from King Sized. They are
long enough, stretch and fit comfortable. They don't
lose there shape or shrink very much. They are soft
and I the stitching is secure. Even though they are
men's. I love the A type of style (Wife Beater). I wear them
in the summer under my shirts to soak up sweat. I like
the Jockey and King Sized Court type. They go up to
8XL depending on style and brand.
Sizes: See above
King Size -
Send in your Fashion Furious
Picture and Details to
Large In Charge
Product of the Month!
What is good for Big Sized
A very important and necessary part of LargeInCharge. Find out what is
helpful for big bodies. Keep your self straight with some of our tips
and tricks. Find out what other Big Sized people use to keep themselves
smelling, feeling, looking, and living a proper life. What kind of
products are allowed. Anything that deal with the body. From cleaning aids
to soap, lotions, powder, healing aids etc. anything that can help a
The Opinion of those who
submit items are not professional. They are everyday people who found
something that worked for them. We are not held responsible for there
opinion - The Large in
favorite Item to be Product of the Month - Follow format below, include a
picture of product (most can be found online) and Send to
Product of the Month
About the Product
Name of Product: Sonic Boom Alarm Clock
Type of Product: Alarm Clock
Cost of Product: $42.95
Where Product can be found:
The new Sonic
Bomb SBB500ss AKA “The Bomb”, has been designed for guys of
all ages on a mission. Stealth grey color with red controls,
night vision display and pulsating alert lights won’t keep
you in the dark. Complete with ground shaking super-charged
bed shaker, and turbo-charged 113db extra loud alarm
Why I like this Product:
I know it is
HARD 4 me 2 wake up. I am sure my snoring and/or sleep apnea
plays a role. I 1st saw this a while ago, but I have tracked
it down. It is the Sonic Boom alarm clock, not only is it
loud, but it has a vibration mechanism. There are many
variations now. Go look.
Send in your Product recommendation to
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