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Congratulations to our February Raffle Winner: Tony Miello from Wyandotte, MI

Issue #37 - April 2007

Welcome to the Large In Charge Newsletter


In this Issue of L.I.C


Feature of the Month - Plus Sized Author Naiomi Pitre


Cover Model of the Month - April Cover Model Jennifer Lindsay


Raqui's Spot - Taking your Identity ~ Raqui


Super Sized Sounds - Featured Artist BombChelle ~Super Sized Spanishfly Lynx


From the Plus Side - 10 Months ~ Emily Smiltneck


Why, OH Why - Confidence à Not available in plus sizes

 ~ Diabolique Belle


Papi's Peace - Slow Down


Good 4 U Food - The Story of the Almonds ~ Xander


Guest Spot - Be a Guest Writer


Fashion Furious - Fashion Finds with Plus Size style.  Submit a Find!


Product of the Month -  Products for People of Size


Ask Raqui - Get some advice from one Big person to another.


FREE RAFFLE - Autographed books by Naiomi Pitre


Events & Pictures - Events, Parties, Press Releases, Pic's & More.


LargeInChargeDating - Dating for the Large People who are going to be in Charge of their Love Lives!


LargeInCharge Friends - The Place for Big People to make Friends and maybe MUCH MORE!

Feature of the Month

Naiomi Pitre

Plus Sized Author


Naiomi Pitre


     Her talent is her mission.  This saucy author puts the petal to the metal in her books.  She also has her nose to the grind stone when it comes to putting herself out to the public.


     She has taken her career in her hands and over come obstacles that many wouldn't have tried to conquer.  Because of her belief in herself and her talent she has achieved what some thought was impossible.


     The beautiful soul of Ms. Pitre shines through in all she does and I believe she will continue to entertain us in all things.






For the LargeInCharge Free Raffle




Naiomi Pitre

Interview with Naiomi Pitre


Interested in What is your name (Real and or Stage)?

Naiomi Pitre:  My name is Naiomi Lin Pitre. It is my real name - no pseudonyms here! Where are you originally from, and where is your home state now?

Naiomi Pitre:  That is a question that has always been difficult for me to answer. I was a military brat growing up (my father was in the Air Force). I was born in Spain, and lived in four countries before moving to the United States. My father retired in Las Vegas, NV, where I spent most of my schooling years. I lived there for 8 years before going to college in Atlanta, GA. Eventually, a previous employer relocated me to Baton Rouge, LA, where I currently reside. I hadn't intended on staying, but I met my wonderful husband here. The rest, as they say, is history! Tell us about your home life, children, marital status, etc.

Naiomi Pitre:  I am happily married, and I have three children which include my gorgeous daughter and two funny little chinchillas. Do you consider yourself a person of Size?

Naiomi Pitre:  I definitely consider myself a proud woman of size. Have you always shown an interest in writing?

Naiomi Pitre:  I remember my father sitting me down in front of a Commodore 64 computer when I was 5 years old, and he showed me how to use a simple word processing program called, "KidWrite". My father always encouraged my writing, and I began at that young age. I would go on to write many short stories and several angst teenage poems. Writing full-time has always been my biggest dream for my life. How old where you when you began to write and what did you write?

Naiomi Pitre:  At the age of five, I began writing very simple and short children's stories. What inspired you to write as a child and what made you take the step toward making it a career?

Naiomi Pitre:  My father was always my inspiration. I found that writing was what I did best. When he passed away two and a half years ago, I thought about what a great, talented, and intelligent man my father was. Dying at the age of 57, he passed on before accomplishing everything that he wanted to in this life. I realized that I did not want that said about me. I didn't want anyone to ever say that I left this earth without accomplishing the one thing that I was most passionate about in my life. His death was the catalyst I needed to strive forward in the literary world. When did you publish your first book and what was it about?

Naiomi Pitre:  Broken Vows was published in May of 2006. It is a realistic look at a Christian couple who have backslidden away from their church. While their spiritual defenses are let down, infidelity, jealousy, betrayal, and sexual curiosity attack their marriage. Dominic Long silently resents the fact that his wife is the primary bread-winner in their household while he struggles to get his own business off the ground. This self-loathing creates an atmosphere of distrust and jealousy that results in a physical confrontation, which drives Yvonne out of their home. Turning to the person she trusts the most, Julie, her secretary, Yvonne enters into a world that she only fantasized about in the past. She explores her sexual desires with this redheaded siren, unknowingly giving her husband time to fight his own infidelity demons as well. How did you get your work published, self published, publishing company?

Naiomi Pitre:  I chose to publish through a print-on-demand publisher, I would highly recommend this service for writers out there who want to get their work out to the public in the easiest, quickest way possible. It has been very successful for me. Who is your manager, PR person etc.?

Naiomi Pitre:  My publicist is Torrian Ferguson, of the Ferguson Literary Group. He is an excellent publicist, and I am blessed to have been able to come in contact with him. Torrian was referred to me by another author, and I have been extremely happy with his work. Having the right publicist can make or break an author, and I am so glad that I found a terrific one in Mr. Ferguson! Tell us about the first time you saw your published book, how did you feel?

Naiomi Pitre:  The first time I received the proof copy of my book, I locked myself in my bathroom and cried like a baby. I prayed and thanked God for what he had in store for me. I thanked my father, and I continued to repeat, through my tears: "Thank you, Daddy. We did it. We really did it!" Then my husband knocked on the door and said he had to use it, so that was that. How many books have you published so far, what are you working on for the near future?

Naiomi Pitre:  I have published two books so far - Broken Vows and In The Panty Drawer. In The Panty Drawer is an erotic short story anthology. It is extremely spicy! I am also currently working on two projects. Sebastian Knight is a dark look into the world of religious cult movements in America. In this fictional book, I will introduce you to a family who finds themselves seduced by the Black cult leader named Sebastian Knight. My second project is the much anticipated sequel to Broken Vows, entitled Fractured Ideals. I will revisit our favorite characters from Broken Vows, and readers will be introduced to exciting newcomers. Are people of size included in your writing?

Naiomi Pitre:  The men in my books tend to be attracted to larger-sized women. I write about what I know, and I know that men love a women with something to hold on to and keep them warm at night! How do people of size feel about your books, do you get more positive or negative feedback?

Naiomi Pitre:  get a lot of positive feedback from people of size. They are thankful that the women in my books are not the current media ideal - skin and bones. I love portraying my characters as sexy and sensual plus-sized women. Please Tell us about the many appearances, tours, book signings you have done?

Naiomi Pitre:  I have been around the nation promoting my books. I love to travel and meet new people, and this is the perfect opportunity for me to do both, while sharing my work with others! My favorite event would have had to have been my first book signing at the local Baton Rouge Barnes and Noble Bookstore. I had many supporters, and being a local writer, a lot of friends came to pick up the book as well. For many self-published authors, a signing at Barnes and Noble is like the Holy Grail. It was a wonderful experience. What have been some of the obstacles you have overcome as far as your career goes?

Naiomi Pitre:  I find that many bookstores have a negative stigma regarding self-published books. Many believe that the books will not look as professional or put together as main-streamed material. They also fear that the editing will be compromised. I have been pleased to prove them all wrong! Are you currently on tour?

Naiomi Pitre:  I am not currently on tour, but I look forward to doing so some time in early 2008. I have many events between now and then, but as for being officially on tour, not at this time. Who are some of Authors that you admire?

Naiomi Pitre:  I admire those authors who are just coming up in the business. I admire those self-published authors who are striving to make a name for themselves. In regards to established authors that I enjoy, I read and write in many genres. I love Laurell K. Hamilton, Neil Gaiman, Poppy Z. Brite, Storm Constantine, William Sleator, Octavia Butler, E. Lynn Harris, and Lee Hayes, to name a few. I enjoy authors who are not afraid to write about taboo subjects that other people shy away from. What would you say to other aspiring authors?

Naiomi Pitre:  I would tell aspiring authors to stay true to their own voice. Don't write to please anyone else, and don't apologize for your work. Tackle the difficult subjects, and do so as only you can. Write with confidence, and do not let any one limit your dreams and expectations for yourself! What should they do to get there work out there?

Naiomi Pitre:  Again, I would highly recommend as an easy and efficient way to get your book into Global Distribution across the world. While your book is self-published through Lulu, you can still shop your work to agents and publishers if you are looking for a contract. They will be impressed with the fact that you already have an established audience. Do you have other authors that you collaborate with?

Naiomi Pitre:  I have not collaborated with any other authors as of yet, however I have been approached by many. I would like to collaborate with a couple of different new and exciting male erotica authors. I think that a book told in both points of view would be interesting. Tell us a few of the tricks you have learned?

Naiomi Pitre:  I have learned that networking is everything. Don't burn any bridges in this business, or in any other, for that matter! You never know if the person who you insult today could be the very person who holds the keys to your success tomorrow. Rejoice in other people's success, and don't be jealous. Encourage and promote other authors, and they will usually return the favor. When someone else does something amazing, it just helps to pave the way for you to do the same. Do you have a good support system from family and friends?

Naiomi Pitre:  I have wonderful family. I have one or two loyal girlfriends who have shown me that they were in it for the long haul. I have lost a few friends along the way, as well. When you begin to see true success, it is funny how you find out a person's true colors. What I have learned is that the people who are truly for you will be there for you regardless of your circumstances, and I appreciate those friends who have stuck by me through this journey greatly. My family (mom, sister, brother, nieces, nephew, husband, daughter) are all extremely supportive and proud of what I do. They know that this has always been my passion. Many of them were subjected to the horrific poetry and stories that I used to write as a kid. What do you contribute your success to?

Naiomi Pitre:  I contribute my success to using the talents and skills that God gave me. I believe that God gives us all a gift, and He allows us to choose how to use it. Once I realized this and began to implement my gift, He made it easy for me to succeed. He opened doors for me that everyone else told me would be locked tight. I also believe that my mother and father always raised me to be a hard-working person and never to settle for second best. Where will you be appearing next?

Naiomi Pitre:  My next book signing is at the Baton Rouge, Louisiana Barnes and Noble on Citiplace Court. I will be signing copies of In The Panty Drawer and Broken Vows, and it will commence at 1pm CST. Saturday April 21, 2007. What are your future goals?

Naiomi Pitre:  My goals are to continue to write in many different genres and to gain an awesome fan base that will be thrilled when each of my new works is released. I want to always continue to grow and learn as a writer. Give us one word that you can say best represents your work?

Naiomi Pitre:  Taboo. How much have you evolved as a author since those early days as a youth?

Naiomi Pitre:  I have evolved greatly since writing as a child. I practiced and honed my skills, and I am growing each and every day. It only gets better and better, and I always want my next book to be ten times better than the last. How can the readers at help support you?

Naiomi Pitre:  You can go to and read more about me and my work. Purchase Broken Vows or In The Panty Drawer, and let me know what you thought by either emailing me at or posting a review online. If you find that you love my work, you can also vote for me at the's Best New Author of 2007 Award Contest. I am currently in the lead! You can vote by going to  . Thanks to everyone who ends up supporting me and my writing. The best is yet to come!



Thank you for Reading The LargeInCharge Feature

Please send thoughts and comments to

Cover Model of the Month

Cover Model of the Month

Jenniffer Lindsay




Interview with Jenniffer What is your name?

Jenniffer Lindsay Candelas Where are you from and what is your current Location?

I was born, raised and currently reside in San Jose, California.                                                                                       Can you give us some information about yourself (Age, Height, Size, Nationality, Marital Status, Children, etc.)?

I am 25 years old, 5’8’’, sz 26, single, and having fun dating!! Were you a big child, or did you gain weight later in life?

I was a small child and slowly gained weight as I grew up. (If you gained weight later in life) what caused you to gain weight and how did you feel about it?

It’s funny..I  think my weight increased as the amount of homework I received increased. As I continued my education I lost the free time to play and be active. I am kind of a bookworm and one of those that reads ahead and has to study.. so rather than focus on being active, I concentrated on my education. So…the better my grades got, the bigger the booty got! Haha. It never really bothered me though. I have always thought the best about myself and I have always been accepted and treated great. What made you decide to enter the LargeInCharge model search? 

I decided to enter the search because this magazine really stands by its meaning. So many other magazines promote a plus size image, but limit their covers to models who are no bigger than straight size models. LargeInCharge represents all of us who are a little more fluffy than a size 14. You guys prove that beauty is not a size and I wanted to be a part of that. Did you find it a hard journey to be accepted for your size?

I have been blessed to have never had a hard time because of my size. Instead I have been praised and included in everything. I was a competitive cheerleader and given numerous awards throughout my involvement and I was elected student president of a school organization. I have done modeling, acting, and have dated more than most of my friends. All my adult life people have told me I was beautiful and should get into modeling. My life has been pretty good and size has never been a factor. Do you find acceptance among your family and friends?

Absolutely! I have the best relationship with family and really make friends easily. I surround myself with people that love life because they are blessed and rich with meaning, not people who are shallow and judge others. What would you say inspires you most in life?

The possibility of greatness. I have huge dreams and incredible goals that keep me going. All my life I have prepped and focused on these goals and I am inspired by the possibility of achieving them. What is your primary job?

I am a full time student, majoring in Political Science and Law. I graduate in May and then I am off to law school in January. How did you get into this line of work?

I love politics and the law. The idea that one person has the opportunity to elect some of the most powerful leaders in the world is an awesome idea and responsibility. I am in this line of work because I want to be that person that makes a difference and gives a voice to the voiceless. Do you find acceptance in the work force?

The worst challenge I have had in this area is with men taking me serious. Some men are intimidated by a woman that models and knows her politics. I have had to really be forceful to get my views and ideas across. Size has never once been an issue. Pay has been great. I have always been given leadership roles and credit when it was due. What do you think about the fashion industry for big sized clothing?

I love it…..I remember years ago, the choices were limited to sweaters with sequins and leggings, now we have amazingly trendy choices that are only getting better. What do you wish to see change with the fashion industry?

More plus size lines. Like Victoria’s Secret…I am just itching to shop there!! Frederick’s does it, so VS should too! I would also like to see better proportions. I hate it when I buy something made in a plus size, but the maker of the item does not take into account adjusting the length or cut. It’s like they make a small size and then add a few inches to make it plus.. but without considering proportions. Fashion has thankfully come along way though and I am very thankful. What changes do you think will happen if plus sized modeling for men and women were to expand?

I see a broader acceptance of plus size people happening accompanied with more awareness of size issues. I think all too often people judge others based on appearance and they totally forget the fact that a bigger pant size does not negate one’s humanness. People are so quick to make assumptions based on stereotypes. If plus size modeling expands, I think others will realize that plus size people are productive, put together and valuable members of society. Tell us some of the places you buy your clothing from.

Lane Bryant, Size Appeal (I love them), Old Navy, Torrid, JcPenny’s (their stuff has really changed for the better) and I LOVE Macys!  Tell us one of your secret beauty tips.

Make your eyes pop by lining your lower lid with white eyeliner. Ohhh and Crest Whitestrips..they seriously work!  Give us some tips on how to have a successful Photo shoot.  What should models be prepared for?

Take good care of what you have!!! Healthy hair, skin, teeth will really help! Be prepared to work out.. it gets hot and tiring under lights a makeup. You have to be quick changing clothes. Be relaxed and remember to have fun…. if you tense up, it will show in the camera. Look at Size acceptance five years ago... look at size acceptance now.  What changes do you see?

I think size is less of a factor that it has been. Its nice to see restrictions on the runway and women who look like more of us in Hollywood. I think fashions are more available too! I can wear what I see at Forever 21 and the mall windows. Look at companies like Old Navy, Baby Phat, Target and so many others that have a great selection of larger sizes. I love it! I think more companies are recognizing that some of us have some junk in our trunks and that we need to cover it too! Movements such as those that have resulted from Southwest Airlines’ seating policy are paving way for size acceptance as well. It’s like this movement that started underground and has now built some serious momentum. Oh..and look at Barbie.. she’s getting bigger too! What changes do you think will happen five years from now with size acceptance?

I would like to think that all forms of discrimination would be seen as wrong. Just as racial and sexual discrimination are viewed as wrong, I would like to think that size discrimination would be seen as hurtful too. Tell us about your goals as far as modeling and other interests.

I would like my modeling career to put me through law school…its so expensive! Lol. Modeling pays really great money.. I just need to learn to save and stop buying clothes. My biggest goals are political. I would like to practice law and then run for office locally, statewide and then for president. Can you tell us about an inspirational moment in you life that made you feel good about your size?

I was sitting in a restaurant waiting for a pizza I had ordered and a guy was checking me out so much so that he did not notice the closed glass door in front of him until him, his pizza and his face bounced off of it…I remember that whenever I forget that I have fries to go with my shake!! =0) ha! Is there a person in your life that makes you keep going?

My sister! She works so hard to help me through school and someday I will give it all back to her ten fold. I love her so much! What advice would you give to other people of size who want to model?

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Try it, do it for fun and never let rejection get to you. Everyone gets rejected, so it shouldn’t stop you. What plus size figure do you admire?

I admire any plus size woman that refuses to let her size stop her or be a determinant for what she is worth. Describe yourself with one word.



Thank you for Finding out more about our Cover Model

Please send thoughts and comments to

Raqui's Spot

     Raqui the Owner and Founder of LargeInCharge Magazine.  This spot is dedicated to her thoughts, vents, and observations of Plus Sized Life.  Raqui's  "Tell it like it is" style of writing has brought hundreds to her blogs and thousands to  There is so much behind the woman who has brought this magazine into existence.  Being Internationally known as a wrestler lead the way to modeling for companies and being featured in magazines and documentaries from all over the world.  She has made a career out of her size and personality.


     For the past 4 years moving into Size Acceptance and Empowerment.  She is a woman who doesn't let things get to her.  Knock her down for the moment but she will rise up stronger and better.  Being a speaker on behalf of many subjects and counseling Plus Sized people online her grace and style has made people love her.   Raqui continues to set an example of a powerful woman who will bend the world to fit her, her way.


Taking your Identity -

     Identity Theft, I know you all have seen this on TV or heard about it on the radio.  If you haven't this is one article you need to read.  There are so many avenues in which a malicious person can take your private information and then access your identity to rack up debt all in your name.  And your responsible for it.  Fighting Identity theft takes years, police reports and more.  Sometimes people never recover and your credit score is affected.  This can hinder you being able to buy a house, get a loan, start your own business, or just get a credit card.


     When I think about this subject plus sized people come to my mind a lot.  We are the internet buyers who many times cant find clothing else where and buy just about everything online.  I think about how many of us have lots of club cards and clothing company cards.  Because plus sized clothing is so expensive we rely on these cards to be able to get clothing and things we need.  Many of the clothing companies we buy from may be small independent companies, who might not be going by the guidelines and laws now put up to prevent Identity Theft.  Even the big name companies are getting hacked into and identities are being stolen.


     I watched the Montel Williams Show and there was a case of a man who was dying and while he was in the hospital fighting for his life someone was racking up a load of debt in his name.  On his death bed the man was fighting so that his family wouldn't have to deal with debt when he died.  By some miracle he lived and he found out that the person who worked in the hospital lab is the person who stole his identity knowing he was dying because of the blood test results!  This lab tech figured he wouldn't get caught because the man would be dead.  How many of us plus sized people go to the hospital and many of us regularly because of complications due to weight, size, health issues? We cant always rely on the hospitals and company to safe guard us.  We need to safe guard ourselves. 




How do I know Identity Theft will Affect me?

• Do you hand your credit card to servers at restaurants?
• Do you sign your credit cards?
• Do you supply personal information over the internet?
• Do you keep your Social Security number in your wallet or purse?
• Do you leave mail at your home or business for the postal carrier to collect?
• Do you shred unwanted mail with personal information?
• Do other people ever run your credit report?
• Can you be sure data security is good at companies that have your information?


People whose identities have been stolen can spend months or years - and thousands of dollars - cleaning up the mess the thieves have made of their good name and credit record. - Federal Trade Commission: When Bad Things Happen to Your Good Name, September 2002


Victims spend an average of $1200 to restore their name. - Federal Trade Commission (FTC)


Americans are more worried about becoming a victim of Identity Theft than getting laid off.. - USA Today 2003


Articles on Identity Theft:


     LargeInCharge has teamed up and found an Identity Specialist who will give free consultation and help you to save guard our Identity.  You don't want to wait until it is stolen to fight.  You want to prevent it in the first place.  Click the link below and enter your information to talk to a specialist for FREE!  I wish you luck and be careful.




Raqui's Cool Links

Raqui's Blog-Spot Page 

Raqui's My Space Page

Raqui's Yahoo 360 Page

Raqui's BBWVibe Page


Thank you for Reading Raqui's Spot

Please send thoughts and comments to

Super Sized Sounds



     Super Sized Sounds will be a Music Column that will feature those who are in the industry or up and coming who are size positive. Giving recognition to the plus sized people who are out there and showcasing themselves.  Reviews, Interview, News and more from our new writer Super Sized Spanishfly Lynx.


      Lynx Garcia, also known as "SUPERSIZE SPANISHFLY", is a Latina BBW from Queens NYC.  Lynx is an activist speaking out against size discrimination and began performing back in 1996 at social events for big beautiful women and big handsome males and their admirers. Her special mixture of sound held true as she sang, spat, danced and performed spoken word, soon she was in demand by Big and Beautiful parties nationwide.  Lynx taking her "look" and sound mainstream was rejected because of her size. She did not let this break her spirit, hurt her confidence or minimize her drive. Instead she rose up and started a public access show (LYNX' LAIR) aired in Queens on TIME WARNER QPTV . Combination of comedy and sexy style, she showcased underground artists of all walks of life. The response to her show was less than a year she has showcased many artist, some who moved to bigger and better things.


     Currently Lynx has caught the attention of Joey Mekkah of BLACK SOLARIS ENTERTAINMENT and found herself on the Grandmaster MELLE MEL's SOLO ALBUM "MUSCLES" featured on the hot latin hip-hop track called 'DIMELO", she is the only collaboration on the album. Lynx recently has started her own radio show on EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO.COM  called Ladies Night. EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO is #1 on the itunes network.




    Welcome all of my big beautiful people to SUPERSIZE SOUNDS. I am SUPERSIZE SPANISHFLY LYNX and I will be reviewing the music of underground and mainstream artists who happen to be large and in charge, breaking down barriers with their look and sound.   LARGE IN CHARGE does not discriminate, so, I will also be reviewing music from smaller artists who are supporters of our movement. What is that movement you may ask? be given the same opportunities as anyone else, to be embraced, accepted and respected in our personal as well as our professional lives for who we are and our skills and not be judged on our physical appearance.

     There are many wonderful singers, MC’s, musicians who are plus, full-figured or SUPERSIZE but unfortunately they are told by the powers that be that they are not marketable because of their size and as a result many are discouraged and/or many do not have the money or resources to have their music heard or reviewed…Well,not anymore …so all of my BHM’s and BBW’s and supporters of  the cause who are looking for some shine and recognition please submit your music for review to And now enjoy this month’s featured artist on SUPERSIZE SOUNDS ……………….. BOMBCHELLE


     Bombchelle was born and raised in Somerset, NJ  and began writng poetry at the age of 6 and  writing rhymes at age 13. But it wasn’t until 2004 that she decided to lay down her vocals. Now at age 24, Bombchelle has managed to sell 15,000 copies of her debut solo album BOMBCHELLE “ Blowin Up “. She is manager, promoter, booking agent, and co-owner of GREENHOUSE RECORDINGS and also a single mother.

     She is a full-figured woman who has taken charge of her career and destiny,  but of course, not with out some bumps in the road. With the death of her father,  Bombchelle became depressed and sought solace in bad company. She also was not happy with her weight as it fluxuated from a size 10 to 22. She sunk deeper into depression.

   “There was a time when I had a problem with my size. I think it was because I had people telling me I needed to look a certain way in order to make it in this industry”. Somewhere deep inside herself Bombchelle found the strength to overcome the negativity in her life and pursue her dreams despite her size. ”I’ve learned to accept how I look because it is a part of who I am and I happen to love who I am, I am talented, loving,  caring, decent and real”.

     My people of size, it doesn’t get any realer than “ Blowin Up “. Bombchelle’s  breathy sexy style, swift delivery and clever lyrics will have you bumpin and swaying to true life stories. With titles like “Outta Control” and “Keep Hatin” or my personal favorite “Breakin  Da Rules” where she touches the subject of interracial dating, depression, the consequences of  unprotected sex and the social conscience track “Get Tested”.  The “Struggle” between “Good and Evil” and many more.  

     Bombchelle was a featured artist on L.A. MUSIC PIPELINE with big FM radio which caters to over ten million listeners with plenty of positive feedback and she’s been featured on many mixtapes all over the country most recently“Time is Tickin” hosted by DJ Juanito from New York’s HOT 97.   

    So my brothers and sisters of size,  trust me when I tell you that Bombchelle is one to watch out and listen for, just like the title of one of her songs- Bombchelle is “Musically Ruthless”. And did I mention at a size 16 she is SUPER sexy MEOW!!

      Support your underground full figured artist and purchase her CD @ and you can hit her up on her myspace page

Want to send in your Voice in for review? Are you a singer, rapper, or poet who performs spoken word?  Up and Coming, already established?  Contact Lynx through her Myspace page or email and all information will be forwarded to her (PUT "FOR LYNX" IN THE SUBJECT AREA) 

You must be a Size Positive Artist, If you are chosen for Review you agree to donate your submission for the Non Profit Org Second Skin which is in development.

Thanks for reading

Super Sized Sounds with Lynx


Lynx Cool Links

From the Plus Side


Emily Smiltneck

     From the Plus side will be column dedicated to short stories that deal with all aspects of Plus size Life.  Emily Smiltneck was chosen for this position because of her dedication, and realistic writing style. She captures the emotional and mental rollercoaster those who are Plus Sized go through.


     Emily Susanne Smiltneck lives in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan (pretty much dead center in the middle of nowhere). She is a substitute teacher, and has recently started a tutoring business. Emily is currently working on several writing projects, including a historical fiction novel and several collections of poetry.


10 Months

     In April, he said that I was adorable, that he had to get to know me, that he didn’t want a chance at love to pass him by. I believed him because I wanted to, because no one had ever called me anything but fat before, because I didn’t want a chance at love to pass me by.

He was from Texas, visiting a friend, a female friend who was probably a girlfriend, in Michigan, when he came across me. He approached and stood silent, staring, while I wondered who he was and what was wrong with him. We talked briefly, he boldly and I hesitantly, and then we parted with a promise to meet again before he left town.

I was happy, excited, nervous, scared. Male flattery was something completely new to me and I didn’t know quite what to do with it. I didn’t sleep that night.

We met again and explored each other’s thoughts, ideas, perspectives. I found him odd in many ways, but my lack of experience wouldn’t let me trust my own judgment, and so I carried on. He asked if he could hug me before he left, and because I couldn’t think of a reason to say no, I said yes. He hugged me and did not let go. When I stepped back, he stepped forward. When I let go, he held me tighter.


When I tried to disengage, he buried himself in me

“I need to leave,” I finally said softly, and he slowly backed away.

“I hope we see each other again,” he said, and I could hear tears in his voice.

“We will,” I reassured, and then I drove away.

In May, on the phone, he said he liked big girls, that they made him feel safe, that he needed lots of hugs and he hated hugs from skinny girls because they were all bones and their bodies hurt him. This reassured me.

He said that he loved me, and he said that he didn’t want to be alone, and he said that he wanted to get married, have kids, be happy. He asked if he could come and visit me, because he was so sure he loved me, because he needed hugs, because he needed to be smothered with love. This frightened me.
The quiet voice inside of me replied that he didn’t know me well enough to love me, that I didn’t love him back, that he was moving too fast and his feelings were coming too soon. Aloud, I only said that it seemed too soon for love. He cried and said that he wanted a woman and he wanted babies, and he wanted love. I was afraid of him; I was afraid of what he wanted from me, and afraid to hurt him by telling him so.

But I couldn’t tell a soul that I was afraid. It seemed too vain to say that someone loved me, and even more so to say I didn’t love him back. What right do I have, I thought, to turn this man down, when he’s the only one who will have me?

Each time he called me to cry and I verbally dried his tears, I hung up the phone and my own tears fell free.

In June, he was happy. He didn’t cry at all, and although he couldn’t keep from singing out his love for me, at least he stopped asking me to love him in return. Life was good; though I didn’t like to admit it to myself, it felt good to have someone love me, especially since he no longer required any action or reaction from me. He was safe. My fear subsided. Then he told me what he wanted to do with me, all the things that men and women do, and fear lodged itself within me once again.

“I’ve never done that before,” I whispered. He paused for five, ten, one thousand seconds, and then asked me why. “I don’t know,” I answered through my tears. “Maybe you should ask all the men who never look at me, or talk to me, or touch me, that question. They know the answer better than I do.” It was his turn to comfort me now.

“It’s okay. I’m the man for you.”

In July, he cried again; he said, “They spit on me when I talk to them. They don’t like me and I don’t know why. They hate me.”

I’m not your therapist, I thought, and I don’t know how to help you.

“Who are ‘they’?” I asked him.

“All of them,” he wailed, “All of them. I just want someone to hug me. I hurt so bad. My feet hurt and my knees hurt and my shoulders hurt and I just want someone to hold me until it all goes away.” He cried himself to sleep on the phone as I pictured hundreds of faceless bodies gathered around him, spitting.

“If you didn’t try so hard, come on so strong, they would like you more. I would like you more,” I whispered, but of course he didn’t hear me. He slept and I waited, resenting his intrusion on my time and yet, somehow, unable to hang up. I was afraid I would hurt him if I did, and he seemed to already be the bearer of more pain than any man should carry.

“You still there?” he asked, startled from sleep by something unknown to me. Maybe by my thoughts.

“Of course I am.”

“Don’t leave me.”

I wanted to tell him I had to go. I wanted to tell him he was too much work for me, that I was suddenly far too tired to be his counselor, his life coach, his mother, anymore. But who am I to judge, I wondered silently. I am no better than he is. He is crying to me about how lonely and sad his life is, and yet my life is even more sad, even more lonely, by his standards. He has loved and lost, and I have never loved.
I stayed on the phone, while he slept, for over an hour.

In August, he asked me for my professional opinion. “Do you think there’s something wrong with me? Do you think I have autism, or I’m retarded? Some people say so.”

“I don’t know. I can’t diagnose you. I’m not a doctor. I think that all people are different, though, and if you know yourself, a diagnosis does not matter. Just be who you are.”

He told me, then, about his past. He had been adopted, right after he was born, and raised by a kind woman with a drug-addicted husband. He had been home-schooled because he had problems, and he had been lonely and treated badly, and as a result, had even more problems. When he was eighteen, he had found his birth mother on the Internet, discovered his twin brother, learned more about his life. His birth mother had been told that he and his brother had cerebral palsy, and she hadn’t felt equipped to deal with that, so she had given them away to someone she trusted more than she trusted herself.
Then it turned out there was no cerebral palsy, just some minor brain-stem damage. (Later, this would explain a lot.)

In September and October, I did not hear from him. At the same time that I was relieved to be free of our awkward two-hour phone calls, I missed him. I wondered if he still liked me, or if he had found someone better. It seems to be a flaw of human nature, I thought, that it hurts to be rejected even by those whose opinions we reject. I did not call him because I did not wish to pursue. I didn’t want to want someone who didn’t want me back, I didn’t want to take the lead, and I wasn’t sure his absence from my life was a bad thing.

Finally, there was an e-mail message: “I can’t pay my phone bill. Phone got shut off. Lots of love.”
He still liked me! I smiled. Lots of love—he still loved me, too. My smile faded. I was confused.

In November he called me, excited, at four a.m. “You’ll be so proud of me!” he shouted, then rattled on. “I paid for my phone and it’s prepaid so as long as I pay ahead they will never shut it off and I have text messaging now and I paid my car insurance so it’s legal now and I got my electricity paid so it’s turned back on and I had to go to a bunch of different offices but I did it and it’s all done. Are you proud of me?”


“And I want to come visit soon. I work for Continental so it only costs me twenty-five dollars to fly and I can fly into Green Bay and you can pick me up there and I can leave my car in the west parking lot because it is free and I can stay at your house and we can do all kinds of things together and I want to come as soon as I can. Can I come this weekend?”

“I—don’t know. I hadn’t planned on having company.”

“I only work Mondays through Thursdays so I can leave after work on Thursday on the 8:15 flight and transfer in Chicago and get to Green Bay by noon and then I can stay until Monday because I can take Monday off so I will leave on the 2:30 flight Monday afternoon.”

“Can’t we wait until after Christmas? I don’t really have time for company right now.”

“Yes,” he said, slowly and quietly.

In December, he called and said January fourteenth, and I said okay.

And in January, he came to see me. I was afraid. Afraid of him, afraid of me, afraid of what might happen between us, afraid of what might not happen between us, afraid of everything. I was afraid to go pick him up. I was afraid to move. I was afraid that when he saw me again, I would suddenly be too fat, too ugly, too anything, and that he wouldn’t like me anymore. I was afraid he would like me too much.

The day that I picked him up, everything was fine. My heart jumped into my throat when I saw him walking toward me, more from nerves than from excitement. He looked just the same. He had the posture of an upper primate that was not quite human, arms dangling from his shoulders as he walked quickly towards me, shoulders slumped forward. I could see the brain stem damage, but I convinced myself it didn’t matter, that he was more human than he looked, that things were going to be okay. He still liked me. I could still pretend I liked him back.

And then things changed.

I didn’t let him stay at my house because I didn’t know him as well as I would have liked. Instead, we split the cost of a hotel room, and for that first night, he wanted me to stay with him. I was unsure and I was afraid and so I refused. By the time I got home, he had called me twice to make sure I was okay and to ask if I was really going to come back the next day. I reassured him. He called again fifteen minutes later, just to be sure. I told him I needed sleep and I would see him at noon. At 9:30 in the morning, he was on the phone again, to see when I was coming back. He called twice more. Finally, I got back to him; he was still afraid I wasn’t coming back.

He told everyone we saw that we were dating. It was hard to dislike someone who was so proud to be with me, but after hearing for the thousandth time how we met as he explained the whole thing yet again to some uninterested passer-by, it began to make me feel ill.

We went out with friends and he spent the entire night with his head on my chest, like a breast-feeding infant. He couldn’t pull himself away. Every second that we were not in physical contact, he looked like a lost child. I could not be by myself for more time than it took to use the bathroom, and whenever I did use the bathroom, he panicked and asked my friends where I was and if I was coming back.

We watched movies at a friend’s house and he picked his toe jam from between his toes and sucked it off of his fingers. He refused to bathe unless I showered with him; since I refused to do so, he never showered at all. He asked me if I loved him, if I liked him, how I felt about him more times than I can count. He wouldn’t let me breathe.

Finally, finally, I delivered him back to the airport. I hugged him good-bye. I kissed him, one last time. He cried when I left him. And then, I left. I left him behind and I could breathe again. I drove home, a little sad because I could feel his sadness, but mostly light-hearted. I was free!

He called me again, and again, and again. For a while I played along, but whenever I did, I cried. I didn’t want to hurt him, and in not hurting him, I was hurting him even more. After a while, I only answered every third phone call, or every fifth. And soon I never answered at all.

At the end of January, he left me alone. And I missed him. I hated him and he scared me and I didn’t enjoy his company and he turned my stomach, but I missed him. I missed the way it felt to be loved. And I cried.


Thanks for reading

From the Plus Side with Emily Smiltneck


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Why, OH Why


Diabolique Belle

     Why, OH Why will be column dedicated to all the experiences Plus Sized people go through that make you want to say WHY OH WHY does this have to be.  Part vent, part inspiration this column will surely be one that readers will related to. Diabolique Belle was chosen for this position because of her flare for telling it like it is and turning it around for the better. 


     Diabolique Belle originates from Brooklyn, NY. She is a computer specialist who passionately loves making toiletries and designing gift baskets. She is capricious and dynamically outgoing and loves to say what she means and she means what she says. Diabolique is currently working on several entrepreneurial endeavors, including taking her toiletry hobby to a professional level and transitioning her writing hobby into an erotic mystery novel series.


Confidence à Not available in plus sizes

Get in where you fit in. That is the goal of most human beings. Most people want to find a place for themselves within society. Find a job and/or career, have a place to live, gather some stuff to make their dwelling look and feel presentable. From there each individual’s goals vary and differ but the basic needs of all mortals are the same; food, water, air, shelter, and safety.

 How do we relate to others? It often amazes me how harsh and crass we have the tendency to be when dealing with something or someone that doesn’t meet the criteria we set for normal. As routinely as we breathe, judgment is handed down to those we deem contemptible. Everyday millions of people elect themselves judge, jury and executioner. Callousness and cruelty are the only sentences befitting such loathsome creatures. That….those….those….

People, is the word that escapes you.

Yes, let’s dive deeper into the dichotomy of the plus sized world. I dare to expose what is and isn’t suitable from a plus sized person. As quiet as it is kept, there are two sets of rules for everyone alive. There are rules for themselves and rules for everyone else. There is acceptable and unacceptable behavior. There are attitudes and characteristics that are tolerable from certain types of people.  We all have those moments where we are exposed to someone acting a way that just doesn’t suit their personality or appearance. For example, the five foot midget with the Napoleon complex. There are just particular characteristics that we do not attribute to certain “types” of people. As unbiased and open as we claim to be; we have very discriminatory views. We expect ugly people to know they are ugly and to act accordingly.

Come on…Let’s be real for a moment. Let us deviate from our regularly scheduled world of pretense and imagination and dabble in reality just for a moment.

Ugly people should act like they know they are ugly. Of course they have “special” qualities make them tolerable. They hopefully have a dynamic personality which makes them sociable. There is nothing worse than an ugly man or woman with a nasty attitude. Would you want to deal with them? Now, I of all people understand that beauty is a matter of perception. What is beautiful to one person may be hideously ugly to another person. However, the one thing that is undeniable is that every single person has a notion of what they deem ugly.

Ugly, it’s such a fluid concept. That hair style is ugly. That purse is ugly. That outfit is ugly. That person’s personality is ugly. The way they present themselves is just plain ugly. That fat girl in those tight jeans is just plan trifling. Nobody wants see all that! She knew when she squeezed her fat behind into those jeans that she was just dead wrong!

If I was her size, I would not have that tight shirt on with all those rolls hanging out.  That is a hot mess.

How dare a fat woman feel comfortable enough with herself to put on clothing that made her feel good and go outside. Who does she think she is?

Yes, society secretly feels that fat people don’t have the right to feel good about themselves.  Do you disagree? Let’s take a closer look.

I interviewed with G who is a 32 year old executive producer / engineer. Here is our conversation:

Diabolique: G, thank you for taking the time to chat with me today. We had previously spoken about your issues with self confidence & esteem and your attempts to improve both. How are you coming along with that?

G: It's much better now. I learned not to get to emotional over it. I've accepted myself, and love myself more for it.

Diabolique: Can I ask you what contributed to your esteem being low? Is your self esteem linked to issues with your weight?

G: Yes.

Diabolique: Please explain...

G: Well, I started being a heavier person when I turned 10. I was made fun of by a camp counselor at a swimming pool because he thought that I had the chest of a girl. He kept saying, "GET A BRA!!!!!!" Not exactly something that you want to tell a 10 year old child; especially screaming it at them.

Diabolique: No, I don’t think that is something you should tell a child. Did you report the incident to anyone?

G: No.

Diabolique: Why not?

G: I didn't.  I have no idea why I didn't tell anyone.

Diabolique: So, you were attacked at an early age about your size. I imagine it didn't get better as you grew older.

G: Oh no. Sometimes, I still get teased or looks about it. But I figure it like this: they can all kiss my high yella a**. I'm happy with who I am and what I have accomplished in my life so far. If they are unaccepting of me as a person, then so be it. Besides, maybe they need to look within themselves to find their own flaws & fears.

Diabolique: Do you receive any grief on the job because of your size

G: No. At the gym I used to go to, I would sometimes get stares from men & women who probably thought I couldn't move like I do. I guess those 10+ years studying Tae Kwon Do paid off. Because when I punch, kick and block, it scares people to see how fast I can move.

Diabolique: I bet they think twice about messing with you. Tell me a bit about your personality.

G: My personality is part cynical, part playful, and an old fashioned romantic. Actually, it's an amalgamation of different things.

Diabolique: I know from interacting with you that you are somewhat on the passive side....does that have anything to do with your self esteem or weight? I find a lot of times heavier men tend to be quite passive.

G: More of my personality. I'm aggressive ONLY when I need to be. A fighter fights because they want to fight. A true warrior fights when there's no other choice.

Diabolique: In your opinion G....what is it that makes overweight people feel like they are less of a person...that they have to atone for being overweight by being overly nice or not causing a fuss.

G: Part of it being self esteem. But, I also think that it has to do with society; especially in Western society.  Here in the U.S., you still have some people who feel that you have to be a certain shape and / or weight in order to be considered attractive. Trust me, that's total BS.

Diabolique: is.  Tyra, Beyonce, Halle....them heffa's ain't got nuffin on me.

G: I feel you. Don't get me wrong, I have respect for them. But just because they are a certain shape or weight, it doesn't make them better or worse than you.

Diabolique: <--------looking from side to side. Them skinny heffa's don't have nuffin on me. I'm telling you...

G: lol

Diabolique: But, I digress. Now that you are working on your self you see the difference? Are there things that you may have let go before that isn’t acceptable to you now? Do you anticipate people responding to you differently?

G: Oh, hell yes. I notice that I'm much more open with people. I've learned to let go of fear, past grudges, and self doubt. I've also learned to love myself, but be humble. As far as anticipation of people responding to me differently; yes, I do expect that. But, we'll see what the future holds.

Diabolique: Let me ask...what are you doing to boost your self esteem. How are you actually accomplishing it?

G: Just the basics: Reading more. Going out to experience life and all its wonders, getting into working out and living a healthy life.

Diabolique: Are you working out to gain shape or lose weight?

G: A little of both, actually. I love to lose weight. But at the same time, I'm trying to tone and sculpt my body. Not to please society. Just to please myself, and no one else.

Diabolique: Well, I know its almost quitting time for you G. Thank you for taking time with me today.

G: Not a problem, Diabolique. Anytime.

Why would an adult traumatize a child like that? He obviously had an issue with fat people; but, for him to have the balls to move his personal disapproval the next level and publicly humiliate a young child is unacceptable! Or is it?  Should G have known that his appearance was unsightly and not participated in any swimming activities?  Maybe G should have had enough self control and common sense not to “get fat” in the first place.  His negligence came with understandable consequences and repercussions. He should have known. He should have known he was setting himself up to be the blunt of jokes. He should have known he would be scorned and reviled. He should have known that he was different. He should have known he was not allowed to participate in regular activities because of his size. He should have known that because he was fat…he was not allowed to enjoy himself.

More importantly, his childhood experiences should have prepared him for his adulthood life. He should have been prepared for the looks. He should have been prepared for stares. He should have been used to being made to feel like less of a person.

He is not alone.

All people who make the choice to be fat should know what comes along with their decision. There is a mountain of evidence that shows them how things are going to proceed along. Do fat people have cute clothing? Not really. Does society portray fat people in a positive light in films?  No. Does the media affirm plus sized people? Not really. Do fat people have role models on film? On a grand scale, are fat people portrayed successfully or positively?  No. Are there plus sized models? Negative. Are there fashion shows debuting plus sized clothing? Again, can we get a big fat No!

Society never has been very tolerant of those who are dissimilar. The handicap, the deformed, the deaf, the blind, the mentally challenged and others have all fallen under the merciless eye and tongue of the world. Scores of jokes have pierced the hearts and egos of a multiplicity of anyone who isn’t “standard”. Any attempt to deviate from a plan of low self esteem and low self image is scoffed down and silently marked for sabotage. Each comedy spoof reminds us that our weight makes us the easy prey. One look at television and we are continuously reminded that we are not normal. Every magazine broadcasts that we will not easily gain acceptance. 

However, maybe it isn’t entirely their fault. Maybe we need to stop recklessly giving away so much power and influence to people who haven’t earned it. Maybe we need to learn that it is no one’s job to make us happy. Happiness along with peace of mind and self acceptance is a choice that you have to make every single day.  The same way you focus on what is wrong with you… you can make the decision to focus on all that you have to offer. While it is easier to believe the negativity that has been sown into your spirit; at some point you have to find the strength to love yourself.  If you can’t, no one else will.

I wish there was an easy answer. I had a slew of witty antics that would make light of the situation.  I wish had immediate answers that would fix the problem right off.

However, I do not.

The task of changing the mindset of one person is difficult enough, let alone the mindset of a group of people. 

The road to acceptance is a long and lonely road. It is one you will travel alone once you are ready. You have to learn to affirm yourself. You have to learn to accept yourself. You have to refuse to become a victim. You must learn that no matter what size you are…people will always have something to say. There has to come a point where you decide to wallow in your strengths instead of your weaknesses. Focus on your attention on what you like about yourself and strengthen those areas. Understand that if you don’t accept yourself…no one else will. If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to love you? We walk around thinking out flaws are being broadcasted for everyone and anyone to see and scoff at. The truth is that people can only see what we show them and they view things from a very limited perspective to begin with.  Most people project what is wrong with them onto others. This is the rule for insecure people; they feel that if they compliment or make room for you; it diminishes or takes away from them. As if the world was only big enough to acknowledge one person at a time.  Their insecurities paint a picture that does not necessarily mirror reality. They feel vulnerable and exposed. In an attempt to shield their faults from the world; they find an easy and ready target and zone in taunting and fingering. Desperately praying that people will be too occupied to notice what is wrong with them. Once the mockery is complete, they set themselves up to be in the spotlight to receive praise and adoration. 

Being overweight is not a curse. It is not an affliction. It is not a disability. It is not something that you have to apologize for nor do you need to shrink into the shadows. Having a consecutive amount of pounds in a row (that is what I tell people when they ask me how much I weigh) is simply a stage of life. Being a plus sized person, like anything else, does not have to become the defining moment of your life.   It is simply another topic in the book that is your life.

You have the right to feel good about yourself. You have the right to wake up in the morning and feel like the most beautiful creation on the face of the earth. You and each pound that you strut are no less beautiful than anyone else. You have the right to be confident. You have the right to be cocky. You have the right to be arrogant. You have the right to know that anyone caught up in the physical is not worth your time and effort in the first place. You have the right to be picky about whom you allow in your life. You have the right to live and live well.

Plus sizes…..BAD TO THE BONE!!!


Thanks for reading

Why, OH Why with Diabolique Belle


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Papi's Peace

This month's Article:


     Papi's Peace A column dedicated to the Large man and his mind.  Papi a Chicago native takes the concerns of the Big man and brings it to light, realizing that sometimes his thoughts and feelings are not always so secure.  A how to column that deals with the issues that many men deal with in today's society.  He also hits the many aspects of living life large and putting your best foot forward as a big person.  Papi was chosen because of his dedication to motivate and weekly inspirational emails he sends to many people across the net has helped and captured many.  Papi has a flair for making difficult situations a bit more easier to deal with.  Part motivation, part realism, lots of observation and a big helping of tell it like it is.  Papi has used humor with to deliver every month.


Slow Down

"A man too busy to take care of his health is like a mechanic too busy to take care of his tools." Spanish Proverb

"There is more to life than increasing its speed." Gandhi

"Show me a worrying person and I will show you a person who does not know how to relax." Albert E. Cliffe

"No matter how much pressure you feel at work, if you could find ways to relax for at least five minutes every hour, you'd be more productive." Dr. Joyce Brothers

"The time to relax is when you don't have time for it." Sydney J. Harris

"For fast-acting relief try slowing down." Lily Tomlin

"Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop." Ovid

"Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are." Chinese Proverb

"He enjoys true leisure who has time to improve his soul's estate." Henry David Thoreau

"The mind should be allowed some relaxation, that it may return to its work all the better for the rest." Seneca

"Sometimes it's important to work for that pot of gold. But other times it's essential to take time off and to make sure that your most important decision in the day simply consists of choosing which color to slide down on the rainbow." Douglas Pagels

"When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere." Francois de La Rochefoucauld

"Relaxation means releasing all concern and tension and letting the natural order of life flow through one's being." Donald Curtis

"Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer." William S. Burroughs

"Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. Nothing is that important." Natalie Goldberg

"Health is not valued till sickness comes." Dr. Thomas Fuller

"Make your own recovery the first priority in your life." Robin Norwood

"A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book." Irish Proverb

"Health is not simply the absence of sickness." Hannah Green

"The greatest wealth is health." Virgil

"As I see it every day you do one of two things: build health or produce disease in yourself." Adelle Davis

"It is amazing how much crisper the general experience of life becomes when your body is given a chance to develop a little strength." Frank Duff

"Money can buy a tonic, but not health." M. K. Soni

"Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help." George Carlin

If You Can't Find Time For Recreation, Sooner Or Later Your Body Will Make Time For Illness by Dr. Alan Zimmerman

Work-life balance:

You may be proud of how hard you work and how much work you accomplish. I know I am. But I also know there's a limit. You and I can't keep on working, day and night, five-six-seven days a week forever. Eventually, the body will say "enough is enough".

Years ago there was a saying that "all work and no play makes a person dull." Today, it's probably more accurate to say that "all work and no play makes a person dead. "In fact, Japan has a special government program to compensate widows and widowers whose spouses literally work themselves to death.

Unfortunately, it's not easy to find time for recreation. We're all so busy these days. There's more work than ever and fewer people to do it. And, to make it even more difficult, companies tend to reward people whose lives are totally out of balance. They're given more respect and bigger paychecks.

So what should you do if you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, burned out, or off balance? First, realize you'll never be finished, and that's okay. No matter how hard you work, you'll never get it all done. Even on the day you die, there'll still be a few things in your in box you didn't get to.

Perhaps you were raised like I was. My father always said "First you work, then you play. Get all your work done, and then you can relax. "While that's not bad advice, it is irresponsible advice in today's world. You and I will never be done, and we must realize that's okay. It really is.

Once you accept that, the second thing you must do is schedule some recreation. It sounds strange to put some free time or fun time on your calendar, but I've learned if it's not on the calendar, it doesn't happen. So plan some time and then take some time for recreation before you end up with "wreckreation".

And finally, refuse to be proud of your busyness. As Lee Iacocca said, "Over the years, I've had many executives come to me and say with pride: 'Boy, last year I worked so hard that I didn't take any vacation.' It's nothing to be proud of.

I always feel like responding: 'You dummy. You mean to tell me that you can take responsibility for an $80 million project and you can't plan two weeks out of the year to go off with your family and have some fun?'"

Action on work-life balance:

This week put an hour of recreation on your calendar. Schedule an activity that you will do just for the health of it. The only criterion you must follow is that whatever you choose, it must be something that will make you feel re-created or re-energized afterwards.


Slow Down

Slow Down (Slow Down). 'Cuz I can't beat the heat. Slow Down. Slow Down, baby. - "Slow Down" - Loose Ends

This is a perfect example of when Papi needs to practice what he preaches. Last month I told you that we would discuss health. Well, this months Peace is not just for you family. It is also therapy for me. I am once again trying to take heed of my own advice. I KNOW I run around 2 much. I know I don't get enough sleep. I know it seems I am always sick. I KNOW.

Diabetes. Hypertension. Heart Attack. Stroke. Sleep Apnea. I know that we . . . Scratch that. I know that I am at risk as much as my people are. And as much as I do to take care of myself and be healthier, I prolly do as much damage at the same time. I'm working on it.

Sleep. When do I sleep? Why don't I go to sleep? Do I ever sleep? Jeah, I have heard it all before. I am a night owl. Can't help it. In my defense I was born at 9:55 p.m. I don't think my internal clock ever adjusted. So jeah, I am up late. A lot. All the time. So when do I sleep? Prolly watching that movie on DVD. Or after I eat that BIG meal and I am lounging on the couch. Or when I fall asleep in the middle of Sports Center, just to wake up an hour later trying to play catch up and see what I missed from the last hour. A vicious cycle that I have often been caught in all night.

Yeah. I ALREADY know. Please believe me when I tell you I know.

It's incredible how things happen. As I wrote this, a loved on of mine just told me an uncle died of a heart attack. He was not 50. He was not obese. And he WAS a doctor. I know no details but I do know that our people are at a higher risk for such occurrences and simply KNOWING this should make a difference in someone's life.

So not only do you need to find time for recreation and play, but also find time to take care of yourself. You CANNOT afford to not like going to the doctor. Women, get checked out. Get a breast exam ( See your gynecologist! Men, get regular checkups. Check out your prostate ( Family, we must step it up. Our health is our EVERYTHING. Don't take it lightly.

Being overweight AND being African American, I am at risk for many ailments and those in the same category as me needs to be aware and educated of all these risks. Below are some VERY helpful links and I hope that you check them ALL out.

American Sleep Apnea Association

American Diabetes Association

The American Heart Association

The American Heart Association - Hypertension

The American Heart Association - Special message for African Americans.

The International Society on Hypertension in Blacks. About hypertension.

The International Society on Hypertension in Blacks (ISHIB) is a unique, not-for-profit, professional, medical, membership society, whose mission is to improve the health and life expectancy of ethnic minority populations around the world.

On the road we have signs and warnings telling us to be careful and slow down. Colors. Flashing lights. Plenty of warnings. In life we have different warnings and signs that let us know we need to be careful with our bodies. Don't ignore these warnings. If you do, the next warning could kill you.

Then you will WISH you had slowed down.

Have a wonderful month!

I love you.



Thank you for Reading Papi's Peace

Please send thoughts and comments to

Good 4 U Food

Recipes for Good... Healthy Food

By: Xander - The Food Dude


The Story of the Almonds

I thought considering the month a story of inspiration should be on the menu.

I woke up shivering the morning of Thanksgiving Day 1969. I'd pulled a canvas tarp over me while laying on a hay bail in a barn just off the road I was hitchhiking on, north of Sacramento going north to Oregon. Freeway 5 was closed for repairs so I found myself on some country road in the middle of no where. I couldn't sleep with all those roosters crowing in my ear so I quietly sneaked back to the road with my friend Tom. We saw the sun come up to another clear crisp chilly California sunny day. The road was completely deserted of cars for a long time until a black man in a white pick up finally came by and graciously pulled over to pick us up. He headed north to the freeway and let us off at the first off ramp, again in the middle of no where.

We stood there on the side of the freeway for a long time watching the sun slowly rise in the sky and feeling our tongues slowly swell with thirst and hunger. Why was I doing this?

It must've been noon with the sun high and the air hot and dry. I thought, "I must be out of God's will. Nobody has come down this road to pick us up." I said, "Why don't we test God to see what His will is. You stand on one side of the road and I'll stand on the other. The one who gets the first ride, that's the way we're suppose to go."

But then my heart smote me. I hadn't come this far to go back. I knew it was for God that I'd come this far. How could I be so irresolute? I wasn't anywhere near dead yet. I sure was in pain though, physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual pain.

Then I said, "Why don't we go over to that almond grove and see if we can get something to eat?" Tom agreed. So we jumped the fences and started going from tree to tree. Not one almond! I saw another grove on the other side of the drainage ditch and said, "Let's try over there." I found one hanging on a tree and another on the ground, but nothing else. So we gave up.

We jumped the fences back to the road and stood there quiet, thinking, praying. No traffic. I thought about all the early settlers, our forefathers who had walked into this land a hundred years ago. I thought about the early saints and Israelites who'd persevered though their wildernesses. Finally it came to me I shouldn't just be dependent on some driver who might pass by. If God wants me to go to Oregon I could walk just like all those who've paved this road before me. So I said to Tom, "Let's walk to a better place to hitchhike." I could see a long way. I didn't see a better place to hitchhike. But any place was better than here.

So we started walking through what felt like the Sahara desert. The sun baking down on our skin, the dry wind, the thirst, and the breeze of the cars going by. I didn't even turn to the traffic any more, I just put out my left arm, thumb up.

I was looking down at the gravel and sand I was walking on just putting one foot in front of the other. Then I saw a pebble that looked strangely different than the others and stopped to look at it. Tom caught up and said, "What are you looking at?" I bent down and picked up an almond just laying there along the side of the road.

We joked and rejoiced and said grace and very carefully divided it up savoring every morsel. Then we started stepping down the road again. Again and again we stopped and stooped to pick up more almonds until we started putting them in our pockets.

Then a white station wagon pulled over in front of us and we ran up to it. The couple inside offered us a ride and said to get in the back seat. When we got in we saw the floor covered with almonds! They were almond growers who had just harvested. They said, "Help yourself."

They gave us a ride to a perfect place to hitchhike. We'd hardly got out of the car before someone else stopped and gave us a ride all the way to the front door of the commune we were going to in central Oregon, 10 miles off the freeway. We ate Thanksgiving dinner with them and slept under warm blankets that night.

Just before I woke up the next morning I heard a voice asking me, "Where were the almonds?" I said, "Lord, not on the trees, but on the road." Then was opened to me even further the scripture in Matthew 6:31 - 33, "... Do not be anxious then, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'With what shall we clothe ourselves?'. For all these things the Gentiles eagerly seek; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious for tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. ..."

-- Written by Alan Bane –

I always loved this story.  It reminds me of several life lessons:


  1. Sometimes we don’t know where to go
  2. Sometimes we don’t know how to get there
  3. Sometimes we don’t know what we’re suppose to do
  4. But we should always have the faith that we are  where, when, and how we are supposed to be to do what we are to do.


Xander - The Food Dude

Xander's Recipe of the Month

Almond Rolls


These Almonds rolls are a traditional Swedish cookie.  Very tasty.  While it uses brown sugar, it still only has 8.6 carbs per cookie.  Give these a try with a tall glass of ice cold milk.  You’ll love it…… trust me !



  • 5 tablespoons all-purpose flour
  • 1/2 cup almonds
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 cup butter, softened
  • 1 cup packed brown sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract



  1. Preheat oven to 330 degrees F. Grease cookie sheets.
  2. Cream together butter or margarine and sugar until light and fluffy. Stir in eggs and vanilla.
  3. Sift together flour and salt and add to butter mixture. Stir well.
  4. Chop almonds to very fine pieces and stir into mixture.
  5. Drop by teaspoonfuls onto cookie sheets about 5 inches apart. Bake for 8 minutes, or until edges begin to brown.
  6. As soon as cookies are cool enough to handle, roll each one around the handle of a wooden spoon or pencil. If cookies become too brittle, reheat for a few seconds.

Servings Per Recipe: 30

Amount Per Serving

Calories: 78

  • Total Fat: 4.6g
  • Cholesterol: 22mg
  • Sodium: 58mg
  • Total Carbs: 8.6g
  • Dietary Fiber: 0.3g
  • Protein: 1.1g


He Has Risen Rolls

This is a short process.  Over the last three years I have done it on the television show the week before Easter.  I generally get the best response of the year by far.  Kids and adults alike love this.  Add to the fun, it’s a great teaching tool.  Enjoy.


1 pkg. refrigerated biscuits
Large marshmallows
Egg Wash (egg beaten with a few drops of water


Separate biscuits and flatten each one. Place 1 marshmallow in the center of each and wrap dough around it completely, pinching the edges to seal. Roll into a ball shape. Place on a well greased, foil-lined baking sheet. Brush with egg wash and bake according to directions on biscuit package. When done, allow to cool, then break open biscuits. They will be hollow inside. Serve with jam or honey.

One thing I have started doing is to take a toothpick and make a cross on one end of the marshmallow.   Put the marked end of the marshmallow into the biscuit first.  When baked, the hollow cavity will have no marshmallow, but it will have a cross on the back wall of the biscuit where the marshmallow was.  Again, a great learning tool for the Easter Sunday or any day.   May God Bless and Keep you.


Thank you for Reading Good Food 4U

By Xander the Food Dude

Please send thoughts and comments to

Large In Charge Guest Spot

We want to hear and see your talents!


One of our favorite parts of the newsletter.  The Guest Spot is for our readers to submit there talents to be viewed.  We want to see all you wonderful supporters making moves of your own.  If you write poetry, short stories, commentaries, or just thoughts in general, please submit them to us.  If your a designer we want to see pictures of your clothing.   We would love to include your talents in our newsletter.  We hope you take an active part in the L.I.C. newsletter. Send in your article, poetry, comments to -

NOTE: The Opinion of the writer is not always the opinion of The Large in Charge Staff.  We support the Right to all views.  We do not Condemn or Approve writing based on our personal thoughts.  We approve writing based on if the subject is a concern for the BBW / SSBBW / BHM Community.  Thank you for your writing and please send in those articles!  - The Large in Charge Staff


We love our guest writers, they help us to make LargeInCharge  more personal and reader friendly place.  We bring the people words from there own peers.  If you always wanted to write but never knew what to do with your thoughts and opinions.  Send them in to us we love to feature you in our guest spot.


What type of entries do we accept?

  • Original Articles that have not been placed in publication.

  • Size Empowerment Stories

  • Discovery of Size Acceptance

  • Romance of Large Size

  • Poetry - at least 25 lines in length

  • Complaints about Society

  • Complaints about what is provided for Big People

  • Complaints about Health Care

  • Weight Loss Surgery Experiences

  • Dealing with Doctors

  • The Joy of being Big

  • Learning to Love yourself

  • etc.

How to Submit my Article for review?

  • Check your article for spelling and correct format, We do not edit articles.
  • Attach your article either in Word, Text Format, or in the Body of your email.
  • In your email send your Real Name, E-mail and Address (state, location).
  • Under your Name and Address include date, and the line. "I give and there owners, permission to use my written article. I am submitting it for there use at their discretion."
  • Include a picture if you so wish in .jpg or .gif format and a brief description of yourself.

Send in your stories, poems, etc. to



Ask Raqui

Ask your Questions and We will answer!

Send your question to Raqui -

NOTE: The Opinion of Raqui  is just that. I do not claim to be professional or to solve your problems.  I can however give you a real answer that may help you out.

Ask Raqui

Q: Hey Raqui,  so i noticed that beneath my breasts and folds, i got skin breakdown and its really hurting now, what can I do?


Raqui:  Ok now what i want you to do is make sure you wash and pat dry. Then air dry. Let all the moisture dissolve and let your skin get some air.

If you can get to the dr. ask for this type of cream

Fluocinonide Ointment USP, 0.05%

This can be used for all types of breakdowns all over the body.

after you are healed up use Vagisil powder in those areas and crease's it really protects the skin and helps to keep you dry with out drying out your skin. Make sure to let your body air dry as often as possible. This really helps.

In the mean time before you get to the dr. use some of the palmers cocoa butter the solid one in the jar. This will help but to prevent and really heal it up right get the ointment I stated above.

Q:   Dear Raqui, tell me with all the attention being focused on full-figured women these days, why big men are not getting much love. Are full-figured women still attracted to big men?


Raqui: I think everything comes in turns. Big men were the thing for many years seen at powerful and rich.  Now big women are getting there turn.


I still think full figured women are attracted to big men.  I know I am I am a big Micheal Clark Dunchan fan.  His Armageddon days not his now smaller days.  Many women love big ole teddy bears.

Q:   What is the stupidest question someone ever asked you on your size?


Raqui:  I was asked if I was pregnant. I told them no i am just fat.  But if they wanted to they could pretend and rub my belly LOL.

Q:   Tell me a secret of your Raqui on your beautiful skin.



Raqui:  I wash with plain water sometimes and I use Queen Hellene Juniper Facial scrub.

Thank you for Reading Ask Raqui

Please send thoughts, comments and questions to

Large In Charge

Fashion Furious

BBW/BHM Fashion of the Month

     We all hate how the Fashion Industry is just scratching the surface when it comes to Large Sized Fashion.  But I have found out that many clothing stores and online companies are beginning to take up the slack.  Creative BBW, SSBBW and BHM's are making there own clothing or mix matching and finding basic everyday wear and night club wear. 

     Making it affordable is what can be hard so showcase your wonderful finds here.  If your a regular shopper, sew your own clothing or a designer showcase your clothing here by submitting a picture for Fashion Furious of the month.


Fashion Furious of the Month

How to send in your Fashion Find. Send a Clear Picture as an attachment

and use the Format Below to describe your Fashion Furious picture.

Email to Raqui:

Fashion Find by: Raqui    Fashion Type: Under Clothing

Fashion Breakdown: I love these Under shirts from King Sized.  They are long enough, stretch and fit comfortable.  They don't lose there shape or shrink very much.  They are soft and I the stitching is secure.  Even though they are men's. I love the A type of style (Wife Beater). I wear them in the summer under my shirts to soak up sweat.  I like the Jockey and King Sized Court type.  They go up to 8XL depending on style and brand.

Sizes:  See above


Description: See above


Colors: See above

King Size -




Send in your Fashion Furious Picture and Details to

Large In Charge

Product of the Month!

What is good for Big Sized Bodies


    A very important and necessary part of LargeInCharge.  Find out what is helpful for big bodies.  Keep your self straight with some of our tips and tricks. Find out what other Big Sized people use to keep themselves smelling, feeling, looking, and living a proper life.  What kind of products are allowed. Anything that deal with the body. From cleaning aids to soap, lotions, powder, healing aids etc.  anything that can help a big body!

NOTE: The Opinion of those who submit items are not professional.  They are everyday people who found something that worked for them.  We are not held responsible for there opinion - The Large in Charge Staff

Send your favorite Item to be Product of the Month - Follow format below, include a picture of product (most can be found online) and Send to

Product of the Month


About the Product

Recommender: Papi

Name of Product: Sonic Boom Alarm Clock

Type of Product: Alarm Clock

Cost of Product: $42.95

Where Product can be found:

The new Sonic Bomb SBB500ss AKA “The Bomb”, has been designed for guys of all ages on a mission. Stealth grey color with red controls, night vision display and pulsating alert lights won’t keep you in the dark. Complete with ground shaking super-charged bed shaker, and turbo-charged 113db extra loud alarm

Why I like this Product:
I know it is HARD 4 me 2 wake up. I am sure my snoring and/or sleep apnea plays a role. I 1st saw this a while ago, but I have tracked it down. It is the Sonic Boom alarm clock, not only is it loud, but it has a vibration mechanism. There are many variations now. Go look.



Send in your Product recommendation to

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