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Congratulations to our Junly Raffle Winner: Sianna Wilson from Fairbanks, Alaska

Welcome to the Large In Charge Magazine                                       Issue #41 - August 2007

OUR FIRST PLUS SIZED MALE COVER MODEL!!!

 

 

 

In this Issue of L.I.C

 

Feature of the Month - Ohio's Renee' Bruce The Treasure Queen
 

Cover Model of the Month - Connecticut's Big Mell - Jamell Ivester          OUR FIRST PLUS SIZED MALE COVER MODEL!!!

 

CONFESSIONS - Let it go and Confess!   Get it off your Chest!

 

Raqui's Spot - So Tired of my Pretty Face ~ Raqui

 

Super Sized Sounds - Xiomara Medina & Will Wheaton ~ SUPERSIZED SPANISHFLY LYNX

 

From the Plus Side - The Bet - Part 2 ~ Emily Smiltneck

 

Why, OH Why - Is this Job Fat People Friendly ~ Diabolique Bell

 

Papi's Peace - Bouncing Back

 

Good 4 U Food - Red River Beef Stroganoff ~ Xander

 

Guest Spot - "Big Like the Ocean" by Stephan Baham

 

Fashion Furious - Fashion Finds with Plus Size style.  Submit a Find!

 

Product of the Month -  Products for People of Size

 

Ask Raqui - Get some advice from one Big person to another.

 

FREE RAFFLE - Enter to win our next prize!

 

Events & Pictures - Events, Parties, Press Releases, Pic's & More.

 

LargeInChargeDating - Dating for the Large People who are going to be in Charge of their Love Lives!

 

LargeInCharge Friends - The Place for Big People to make Friends and maybe MUCH MORE!

Feature of the Month

The Treasure Queen

Renee' Bruce

 

Renee' Bruce The Treasure Queen

 

     Here in the U.S.A. in the state of Ohio is a woman who took action when she saw a need.

 

     Renee' Bruce wanted to reach out to the African American BBW's (and their admirers) in her area.  She wanted a place for them to feel safe,  accepted, and comfortable.  I party scene that caters to them but invites everyone to partake of there fun and good times.

 

    Because of Ms. Bruce's actions she was able to expand the BBW events in Ohio and add to the growing movement of size acceptance.

 

     Not only is she helping the plus sized people with events she also is expanding the clothing distribution section of her site. What really pulls my heart strings is the work she does with single mothers and children.

 

This is a woman who has many thoughts and finds a way to bring a notion to reality.  Because of this everything she touches will turn to Treasure!  

 

www.TreasuresQueen.com

 

Raqui

       

Interview with Renee' Bruce

 

www.LargeInCharge.com: What is your name/names?

 

Renee' Meadows-Bruce


www.LargeInCharge.com: Do you consider yourself a Person of Size?

 

Yes, on the lower end - lost a lot of weight due to medical reasons - from 260 to 200


www.LargeInCharge.com: What made you start to explore business in the plus sized industry?

 

I was a member of Columbus BBW Dance Party and loved how everyone felt comfortable. Wanted to expand this to the African American community.


www.LargeInCharge.com: What is your company name, and what is your purpose?

 

My company is Treasures Queen Unlimited...Ohio BBBW is a portion of my "Enterprise". My company also does preschool and support for Single Mothers.


www.LargeInCharge.com: Who is the owner/founder of your company?

 

That would be me, Renee' Bruce. I credit my aunt, Rochelle Rensch, for inspiring me to continue the dream she started with the childcare.


www.LargeInCharge.com: How did your company get its name?

 

I sold Secret Treasures Adult Products and was their top seller for a while, so I took up the name "Treasures Queen". I added "Unlimited", because I was working on multiple products and was told that my talents were "unlimited". Ohio BBBW stands for Ohio Big Beautiful Black Women (a branch of the BBW groups)


www.LargeInCharge.com: How did your company begin?

 

Treasures Queen Unlimited began in 1993 as JC Enterprises - my first venture in business. When I acquired the daycare and toy parties, I changed the name. The Ohio BBBW group was organized in April 2007 and is an expansion of Columbus BBW.


www.LargeInCharge.com: I understand that your company has expanded and moved it different directions. Can you tell me about the many avenues you have explored?

 

I started doing typing and word processing for small businesses. That led me to working for my aunt in her daycare. She hired me to work in her center and encouraged me to go back to school where I got my B.S. in Education. I ended up running the daycare, opening another site, and converting it to a chartered elementary school. When we closed in 1999 due to funding, I began the Party Sales venture (Secret Treasures and then Avon). When I got tired of those, I went back to my educational roots and began doing in-home childcare. I created the www.TreasuresQueen.com  Domain in 2006 to encompass all of my ventures.


www.LargeInCharge.com: How long has your company been in business?

 

Overall, 14 years.


www.LargeInCharge.com: Are you a profit or non profit company?

 

Treasures Queen Unlimited is a for profit company, however, SMILE (Single Mothers Independently Living Everyday) is a non-profit organization that I am Vice Chairman.


www.LargeInCharge.com: Tell us about some of the stepping stones and experiences with your company?

 

The stepping stone that has never left is when people don't pay you. I don't get a guaranteed paycheck like a corporate job, so many times I bust my behind working on something that I end up not getting paid for. Childcare is tricky at times, home party sales are hit or miss, and the Ohio BBBW and SMILE are non-paying ventures. I put things in God's hand and know that if it is meant for me to do, everything will be taken care of.


www.LargeInCharge.com: I understand that you holding events for people of size is one of the things you do, what made you get into that venue?

 

While attending parties at Columbus BBW functions, I would overhead African American women commenting on not feeling "a part of the group". I did some research online and discovered that there were BBBW groups partying with BBW groups and that catered to the African American women and drew them out to the functions. I discovered that there wasn't a BBBW group in Ohio outside of Yahoo. After initial consultation with the head of Columbus BBW, I pursued the idea. I started the Yahoo Group, Black Planet, and MySpace page and it just exploded! I received so many comments saying it was "about time" and "thanks for coming up with the idea". We're now nearly 1000 strong! I also ensured that everyone knew that it wasn't just a group not just FOR big beautiful black women, but for us and everyone who loves a BBBW regardless of size or race.


www.LargeInCharge.com: Do you hold events regularly, and how many people attend?

 

We co-host the parties with Columbus BBW at Intrigue every Saturday night. At our last major event, our "Get Lei'd Hawaiian Party", we drew in pretty close to 250 combined.


www.LargeInCharge.com: Do you promote other types of events other than the ones you hold now?

 

We promote as many Ohio BBW groups as we can get to! We have attended BBW parties in Middletown (Tri-State), Dayton (BBW Blowout), Cleveland (Ohio BBW Expo) and Cincinnati (PhatGirlzCincy). I send a post asking if anyone wants to go and organize a caravan and we travel to their clubs to support them as well.


www.LargeInCharge.com: Do you have any major events coming up in the near future?

 

The next major Ohio BBBW party will be on September 8th for my birthday ~ The Treasures Queen Birthday Bash! I have friends coming in from New York, Atlanta, and Florida to help me celebrate! We will be celebrating with Columbus BBW for their 6th Anniversary the following weekend - September 15th.


www.LargeInCharge.com: Tell us about your location and if it is comfortable for people of size?

 

We recently moved our parties to Intrigue in April 2007. It's a nice size club which has renovated just for us. They are still in the process of renovating, but they expanded the dance floor, put up a stage, added more seating and added another bar area. It is located in a shopping center and they acquired the store next door which will add another 1000 sq ft or so. They will also be adding a kitchen and making the bathrooms larger as they are not comfortable for some of our SSBBWs. We have a hotel that gives a special BBW rate any weekend that people want to visit our parties or just stay the night to avoid driving while intoxicated. Transportation is usually provided.


www.LargeInCharge.com: Who is your house DJ?

 

Our House DJ is the legendary Mix Master Ice. He was in the group UTFO that sang the 80's hit "Roxanne Roxanne". He is a phenomenal DJ who plays a mixture of rock, rap, R & B and line dances just for our pleasure!


www.LargeInCharge.com: Do you promote events in other states?

 

Our first major bash outside of Ohio will be the Michigan BBW Bash in August. We are also planning a New York trip and hope to attend the Vegas Bash next year when our travel site is up and running.


www.LargeInCharge.com: What is the key to giving a successful People of Size Event?

 

Remember who you are there for! Many times people attend our events from word of mouth or because they saw the site on MySpace or BlackPlanet. I try to make and effort to pick out new faces and personally introduce myself to them and welcome them to the club. Anyone can tell you that I spend a lot of time floating around the club than sitting or dancing! The whole point is making everyone feel welcomed whether they are large, small, black or white. Unity is my primary focus at any and every event.


www.LargeInCharge.com: Tell us about your clients?

 

My clientele is very diverse, but somehow they all come together. I have daycare parents who are single mothers, daycare parents who attend our BBBW events, Single Mothers who attend our BBBW events, and Ohio BBBW Members who are White (Caucasian) and/or Single Mothers. I feel that I have been successful in blending the cultures and lifestyles so that everyone can feel accepted in some way, shape or form. I have one business card that seems to work for all three entities.



www.LargeInCharge.com: have you have been featured in any TV, Documentaries, Magazines, Promotions etc. Tell about your appearances?

 

As new as we are, we haven't been featured in publication as of yet. Our ads are on the radio bringing clientele into the club to see what BBW Saturday nights are about. We can be found on any search engine in some way and that makes me proud. I also wrote to notable African American media moguls such as Oprah, Queen Latifah and Mo'Nique telling them of our group and letting them know of our mission and vision. I will do more active prospecting in the fall when the summer activity dies down a bit.


www.LargeInCharge.com: What are your long term goals?

 

My ultimate goal is to take Ohio BBBW and make it a nationwide phenomenon. Every major city in every state should have a BBBW group. The response I received nationwide was overwhelming. I am currently working on a travel site for BBWs to receive discounts on travel and start BBBW cruises and major party ventures. I have the starter website through YTB.com and am working on obtaining my travel agent status to get it running.


www.LargeInCharge.com: Do you have any upcoming projects that you would like to tell us about?

 

One of the things that we miss about the previous location of the Columbus BBW Dance Parties was the party location being inside the club at the hotel. Columbus just doesn't have the club/hotel venue anymore. We found a lodge that is being renovated by a catering group and they will soon be able to host parties at their location. It's adjacent to the hotel that we are currently using. Once they get that up and running, I'd like to host a few of the major parties there to make it more convenient for our out of town guests. I also met a Plus Size T-Shirt Designer who has made BBBW shirts just for us. Along with BBBW bumper stickers, we have entered the realm of profit making. With profits from BBBW items, we can achieve the travel agency dream a lot more quickly.



www.LargeInCharge.com: What have been some of the disappointments you have gone through in this business?

 

With every venture, you may come across individuals commonly called "haters" who are jealous and don't want to see you succeed. Those types of individuals take an emotional toll on me on occasion, but like Maya Angelou says, "You may shoot me with your words, You may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, But still, like air, I'll rise."


www.LargeInCharge.com: What is the best thing about what you do?

 

No matter what I do, I like to feel that I am helping others, giving back to my community and making someone's life better. I see it in the children's eyes at my daycare, in a single mother's eyes when she knows she's not alone, in my friend's eyes at the BBBW parties when they know they can come out with their big beautiful self and have a good time.


www.LargeInCharge.com: What is the response you receive from the BBW / BHM community?

 

"Why didn't anyone come up with this before?" Granted, a BBW doesn't particularly have a color, but when you get invited to a BBW party and don't see other BBWs like yourself, you don't have a good time and don't return. With the Ohio BBBW/Columbus BBW parties, everyone can meet a friend, find a love, or just be who they are without any limitations.


www.LargeInCharge.com: Tell us about the Plus Sized Clothing you sell?

 

I tell everyone about Ohio BBBW and I come across vendors of plus size clothing. Patricia (World of Fashion) was a vendor at the market where I sold my products. When I was a size 24, I purchased her clothing. Now I'm a size 16 and I still shop with her! She offers the latest clothing and passes her discount to our group in exchange for their business. Shockie of Plus Size and More, is a MySpace friend. I stumbled on her website and loved her BBW shirts so much that I asked if we could market them. She added more African American women to her collection and formed the BBBW Line and we sell the shirts at the club on Saturdays as well as on the website.
 


www.LargeInCharge.com: Do you design yourself or are you a distributor?

 

I'm strictly the distributor. Unfortunately, I don't possess that much creativity.

www.LargeInCharge.com: Are you looking for clothing designers?

 

I am always on the lookout for designers who can help bring out the Big Beautiful Black Woman!.

www.LargeInCharge.com: What sizes do you carry?

 

In many of the lines we promote, they go up to 8X.

www.LargeInCharge.com: What is the style of clothing you sell?

 

Many of our women are very diverse in style. Patricia's World of Fashions caters to the business casual and formal. Plus Size and More is primarily statement T-Shirts.

www.LargeInCharge.com: What would you say is the hardest thing about selling BBW Clothing?

 

Reaching the market is the hardest thing. Many people aren't looking to buy clothing off of MySpace. We can reach the people who are already in our groups or attend our parties, but I've had to rely on online search engines to promote outside of that.

www.LargeInCharge.com: Any advice for other who are interested in selling BBW Clothing or starting there own line?

 

Find out who your target market is and then make yourself known wherever they are. Many BBWs or BHM already have vendors for their clothing, so you have to present something a little different.


www.LargeInCharge.com: Do you have any other companies or entrepreneurs that you admire or collaborate with?

 

Becky started Columbus BBW and without her initial vision, I would have nothing to sprout Ohio BBBW from. BBBW Role Models such as Oprah, Queen Latifah, and Mo'Nique and their enterprises are also inspirations that I'm headed in the right direction.



www.LargeInCharge.com: Who are some of your business or influences that you admire?

 

My mother passed in 1996, my aunt Rochelle Rensch became my guide. She encouraged me to stop moping, get up and finish my schooling, get my degree, take over her daycare center that she started and keep moving forward. She's always there for me as my help and my guide when it comes to business. She tells me that I could sell a blank piece of paper and that I was born to help others. She currently works for the State in their Special Needs Education Department. I still admire her!


www.LargeInCharge.com: Give one sentence that best describes your company?

 

My life and my children are my Treasures, I am the Queen, and Unlimited are my dreams and realities!


www.LargeInCharge.com: How can the readers at www.largeincharge.com help support your company?

 

The readers can help me spread the word about Ohio BBBW and our mission, then go out and support their BBBW or BBW groups nationwide!

 
 

Thank you for Reading The LargeInCharge Feature

Please send thoughts and comments to

articles@largeincharge.com

OUR FIRST PLUS SIZED MALE COVER MODEL


Jamell Ivester

 

 

 

Interview with Jamell Ivester

 

 

LargeInCharge.com: What is your name?

Jamell Ivester

LargeInCharge.com: Where are you from and what is your current Location?

Waterbury Connecticut

LargeInCharge.com: Can you give us some information about yourself (Age, Height, Size, Nationality, Marital Status, Children, etc.)?

I'm 24 im 5-11to 6 feet Im a BHM My Nationality is African American Im Single with No Children

LargeInCharge.com: Were you a big child, or did you gain weight later in life?

 I Was A Big Child

LargeInCharge.com: (If you were a big child) how did you feel growing up as a large child?

I mean its what you make it you know what I mean you will always have the neighborhood kids who wanna crack jokes but when you laugh with them they realize that their words don’t affect you how ever keeping up with the latest fashion trends was kinda hard the bigger you are the harder it is to find the in style gear

LargeInCharge.com: What made you decide to enter the LargeInCharge model search?

A few word of encouragement from Raqui inspired me and I hope to be a trendsetter for all other BHM’s to put themselves out there and let the world know they are big and proud

LargeInCharge.com: Did you find it a hard journey to be accepted for your size?

At first I did but the older you grow the more you learn to live with it

LargeInCharge.com: Do you find acceptance among your family and friends?

I find acceptance in my size more from my friends than I do my family, family will try their hardest to put you down even if its in a joking way but a true friend will be there to talk to when you feel downsized because you are super sized and so on and so forth so that’s why I say I feel more acceptance from friends than family

LargeInCharge.com: What would you say inspires you most in life?

Me waking up every day my job seeing my niece and nephews growing up and living life

LargeInCharge.com: What is your primary job?

I work in the human services field I work as a direct care provider in a day program for adults with developmental disabilities

LargeInCharge.com: How did you get into this line of work?

I took a free course that was offered and I thought it was a good field to be in plus I like to help other people out as much as I can

LargeInCharge.com: Do you find acceptance in the work force?

yes I do

LargeInCharge.com: What changes do you believe should take place for Large People in the work force?

I just think that employers should be more open minded about size and realize not every one is gonna be that abercrombie and fitch model instead of looking how well you fit in the chair during the interview

LargeInCharge.com: What do you think about the fashion industry for big sized clothing?

Now a days a lot of designers are making their clothing plus sized but of course you’re gonna pay a hell of a lot more money for the shirt or the jeans that you want so I think if they are gonna make one price for one size it should be the same price for all sizes

LargeInCharge.com: What do you wish to see change with the fashion industry?

I would like to see more plus sized models on the runway like the girls from Monique’s fat chance or something like that

LargeInCharge.com: What changes do you think will happen if plus sized modeling for men and women were to expand?

It will open people’s minds and show them that larger people can make a difference in the world and not all large people are lazy and just sit around on their asses all day doing nothing

LargeInCharge.com: Tell us some of the places you buy your clothing from.

Aj Wright And Casual Male Big And Tall

LargeInCharge.com: Tell us one of your secret beauty tips.

I like to mix my cologne in with my lotion before rubbing it in on my arms

LargeInCharge.com: Give us some tips on how to have a successful Photo shoot. What should models be prepared for?

I would Imagine long hours a lot of standing and a lot of directions and lots of flashing lights

LargeInCharge.com: Look at Size acceptance five years ago... look at size acceptance now. What changes do you see?

I don’t see a lot of change to be honest with you I mean people still have their prejudges on larger people like for instance I don’t know how long this has been in effect but if a person of size doesn’t fit comfortably in a seat on a plane they would have to pay for an additional seat or when a larger person goes to a buffet they get stared at as soon as you walk in the door and you get watched every time you go up to get a plate or if your are out on a date and you go to a nice restaurant you automatically get seated at a table they don’t ask you if you would like a booth and if you do get a booth they come over 20 times before they take your order to ask if you are comfortable

LargeInCharge.com: What changes do you think will happen five years from now with size acceptance?

I honestly don’t know but I would like to see a lot more more acceptance from a lot of industries with in this world rather it being the work force the fashion industry etc... we are no no different than a person who wears a size 6

LargeInCharge.com: Tell us about your goals as far as modeling and other interests.

I hope this inspires a lot of larger people to feel comfortable with their selves. You shouldn’t have to change who you are because a commercial says you are too over weight to do something you enjoy

LargeInCharge.com: Can you tell us about an inspirational moment in you life that made you feel good about your size.

The first time I actually had a girl like me for me instead of like ohh no you’re fat I cant date you, you know what I mean she looked past that and she was actually my first true love

LargeInCharge.com: Is there a person in your life that makes you keep going?

I keep going for my niece and my nephews I wanna live to see them graduate college I live for my sister that’s in Iraq right now fighting for this country and the spirits of my 3 fallen soldiers my father my grandmother and my great grandmother

LargeInCharge.com: What advice would you give to other people of size who want to model?

If you feel you can do it go for it the most some one can ever tell you is no so you roll with the punches and just move on to another agency but you will get that break you were looking for make you stand you’re big you’re proud and you want other people around the world to see you

LargeInCharge.com: What plus size figure do you admire?

I admire Monique she gives the big girls they time to shine its just sad that it took a bigger lady to come up with a concept for a show like that I admire Ruben Studdard too he put the big boys back on the map I remember calling him my brother when he was American Idol

LargeInCharge.com: Describe yourself with one word.

Sincere

 
   

Thank you for Finding out more about our Cover Model

Please send thoughts and comments to

articles@largeincharge.com

Raqui's Spot

     Raqui the Owner and Founder of LargeInCharge Magazine.  This spot is dedicated to her thoughts, vents, and observations of Plus Sized Life.  Raqui's  "Tell it like it is" style of writing has brought hundreds to her blogs and thousands to LargeInCharge.com.  There is so much behind the woman who has brought this magazine into existence.  Being Internationally known as a wrestler lead the way to modeling for companies and being featured in magazines and documentaries from all over the world.  She has made a career out of her size and personality.

 

     For the past 4 years moving into Size Acceptance and Empowerment.  She is a woman who doesn't let things get to her.  Knock her down for the moment but she will rise up stronger and better.  Being a speaker on behalf of many subjects and counseling Plus Sized people online her grace and style has made people love her.   Raqui continues to set an example of a powerful woman who will bend the world to fit her, her way.

Contemporary Art Video "DOUGH" Staring "Raqui" is being shown @ The Guggenheim - See Below

So Tired of my Pretty Face

    

"You are so beautiful!"

"You have such a pretty face."

"You are a big girl, BUT your face is so Pretty!"

 

     I am a woman so of course I love compliments. I want them to come down like rain did during Hurricane Katrina. But I found one thing during all my years of being a BBW or a SSBBW.  I only get complimented on my face.

     I know many plus sized women and men know what I'm talking about. The Pretty Face or Handsome comments. They exclude your body or they might include it by saying YOUR A BIG GIRL/GUY, But your face is so Pretty/Handsome! While most Plus Sized people might smile and be happy about that, (even I have smiled and said my thank you's over the years), I realized something. People automatically made my body the negative and my face the positive. As if my body is now forgiven for being so imperfect because my face is the exception.

You cant have it all! You cant win them all!

     You remember that old saying... You cant have it all! Well I often feel like that. I feel as if when people make that big body-pretty face comment, that they are trying to make me feel better about myself. They take my big body as the bad part and OH WOW she is so pretty as the good part. I realized this one day when I went bowling with my friends last year.

 

     It was a "Black Attire Night" We all had to wear all black as a theme. I was going to a BBW party afterward so I dressed comfortable but looking good. I got a really different, but amazing comment from a man that night. He was quite handsome a bit older maybe mid forties.

 

When I entered he said, "You are so beautiful!"  Thank you, I replied and went on my way.

     I was having fun with friends, then I went to the rest room and while I was walking back he came up to me again. I was alone and I believe he did so on purpose because I had attended with someone. This is the amazing part!

     He approached me and said "I had to tell you that you are really gorgeous... your face... your hair is beautiful and you carry yourself so well. Everything is so well put together, I don't know if your with someone but I wanted to tell you this. I hope you come back again... just so I can watch you walk around."

     I smiled and said thank you and kept on going. I felt a bit shocked and different. I then started to notice things as I walked the long way back to our alley. (Which happen to be in the front and the bathrooms in the back.) I was getting a lot of looks. None negative. Some surprised and some quite interested from men and women alike. Many women smiled as I walked by, many men who were with women small and medium built took glances at me and I felt really alive.

     Some may say that I felt better because I was wearing all black because black is sliming, but not this outfit. I was wearing black boot cut spandex pants so they clung to every fatty curve. My top was short and baby dollish with short sleeves barely covering my fatty arms. I am sure my tummy was sticking out some. I wore some comfortable shoes and my hair done up but I did have a little makeup on. I think my Fatty Body was not slimed at all by wearing black, it was shown with nothing to hide. What had me walking on air was the compliment I received.

     For the first time EVER a man not from the internet, not someone trying to hook up with me, not from a bbw party, not a love interest, just someone in a regular public place... with tons of skinny slimmer college kids around, all kinds of beautiful woman to choose from. Made the effort just to tell me that he thought I was beautiful all over. And tell me in a way that was pleasing. Not the "Damn your banging baby" type of comment. But treated me like the lady I am and expected nothing in return.

     That is a real compliment! It made me realize how crappy other comments are. I understand the rest of society is seeing my body as a hold back to my face. But I decide to change that view. I decided one person at a time is the way to go.

     A couple of months ago I was at the doctor's when a woman came to me and said. You are a very BIG woman, BUT your face is so beautiful! You are so pretty.

     I smiled and said thank you, but then I said. Wait a minute what about the rest of me? Is that not beautiful also?

She was stunned and then had a guilty look on her face. She didn't know what to say. So I replied.

     I know most of the world might think I am a big person and that I must be unhappy because I'm fat. But I am Happy with myself and my body. I know your comment was meant to be nice and thank you for saying it. But sometimes people make me feel that my body as a bad thing but they comment on my face like it is the only good thing I have. When I see myself at the total Big Beautiful Package.

She looked at me and smiled and said, I wish I had your confidence. Your right you are beautiful all over!

I came right back with, Hey you cant beat if I have the 3 B's Beauty, Brains and a Big Banging Body!

     We laughed and I smiled, then like clock work the Dr. Called her and in she went. While I sat there another woman whispered to me. I think your beautiful also, But even more on the inside. She smiled and seemed kind of shy to me. I said thank you to her and we both continued to our business. I was reading and she was taking care of her baby.

It was amazing, I guess I just had to say something that day and when I did two people gave me wonderful compliments and whole bunch of women smiled at me in the office that day. I got looks from them as I walked into the dr's office and when I walked out. A couple of them even waved at me as I left.

     Confidence comes out of your pores. You show it in every way. Using it to educate people in a kind way helped me to realize that you can turn a persons whole view around about people of size. I changed every woman thoughts that day and I felt good about me.

     So the next time i get that pretty face comment I will whip it around and show them I am not just a Pretty Face. I am the total package!

 

 

Raqui

Contemporary Art Video "DOUGH" Staring "Raqui" is being shown @ The Guggenheim

NOW SHOWING @ The Guggenheim Museum in NYC. "DOUGH" Contemporary Art Video Staring Super Sized Model, Wrestler, Size Activist, "Raqui"

For more information and pictures  go to www.raqui.com

Black Student sits under the "White Tree" - next 3days NOOSES were hung from the Tree!

The History: Six black students at Jena High School in Central Louisiana were arrested last December after a school fight in which a white student was beaten and suffered a concussion and multiple bruises. The six black students were charged with attempted murder and conspiracy. They face up to 100 years in prison without parole. The fight took place amid mounting racial tension after a black student sat under a tree in the schoolyard where only white students sat. The next day three nooses were hanging from the tree.

This can not be tolerated

The Jena Six Petition...help end racism in America!! Stand up

add your signature

http://www.petitiononline.com/aZ51CqmR/petition.html
 
 

Raqui's Cool Links

www.raqui.com

Raqui's Blog-Spot Page 

Raqui's My Space Page

Raqui's Yahoo 360 Page

Raqui's BBWVibe Page

 

Thank you for Reading Raqui's Spot

Please send thoughts and comments to

articles@largeincharge.com

Super Sized Sounds

with

Lynx

     Super Sized Sounds will be a Music Column that will feature those who are in the industry or up and coming who are size positive. Giving recognition to the plus sized people who are out there and showcasing themselves.  Reviews, Interview, News and more from our new writer Super Sized Spanishfly Lynx.

 

      Lynx Garcia, also known as "SUPERSIZE SPANISHFLY", is a Latina BBW from Queens NYC.  Lynx is an activist speaking out against size discrimination and began performing back in 1996 at social events for big beautiful women and big handsome males and their admirers. Her special mixture of sound held true as she sang, spat, danced and performed spoken word, soon she was in demand by Big and Beautiful parties nationwide.  Lynx taking her "look" and sound mainstream was rejected because of her size. She did not let this break her spirit, hurt her confidence or minimize her drive. Instead she rose up and started a public access show (LYNX' LAIR) aired in Queens on TIME WARNER QPTV . Combination of comedy and sexy style, she showcased underground artists of all walks of life. The response to her show was PHENOMENAL....in less than a year she has showcased many artist, some who moved to bigger and better things.

 

     Currently Lynx has caught the attention of Joey Mekkah of BLACK SOLARIS ENTERTAINMENT and found herself on the Grandmaster MELLE MEL's SOLO ALBUM "MUSCLES" featured on the hot latin hip-hop track called 'DIMELO", she is the only collaboration on the album. Lynx recently has started her own radio show on EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO.COM  called Ladies Night. EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO is #1 on the itunes network.

 

     WANT TO SUBMIT YOUR VOICE FOR REVIEW? See Below

Artist of the Month

 

     My people, mi gente…what a crazy month this has been for me. I had plenty of events to attend, prepared for my radio and television show, my lil Lynx caught the flu then I caught it and I had a huge birthday celebration but it was like work because I had media in the house and despite the literal thrashing from Queen Raqui I had no music submissions-none. All of this added to NO MUSIC REVIEW. I couldn’t let that happen, in all of the venues I am involved in …THE SHOW MUST GO ON!

     Despite the madness I came across two wonderful talents. One through myspace and one I met when she came down to the radio station to be a guest on my show.  I hope you enjoy this month’s featured artists

Xiomara Medina and Will Wheaton

 

Xiomara Medina Will Wheaton

XIOMARA MEDINA

Album: Temperatures of My Life

Genre: Pop/funk/Latin and a dash of Hip-hop flavor

 Xiomara Medina was born and raised in Puerto Rico. She began singing at the age of six and before she finished high school she acted in locals plays and landed a recurring role on Telemundo’s late night comedy show “No Te Duermas”.

 

She moved to New York City in 1995 and managed to open up for acts like George Lamond, TKA and Cynthia. She also wrote a song called “Sex in New York City” for an all girl group called APHRODITE and the song was the groups first hit and was licensed and used for the popular TV show “Sex in The City”. Xiomara is a single mother and feels her child is her greatest accomplishment.

 

Xiomara & Lynx

 

Xiomara considers herself a supporter of overweight people. One of her nearest and dearest has constant struggles with his weight and she also had some difficulty after the birth of her son to get rid of some of the baby weight.

 

Xiomara feels that people spend too much energy judging people because of their race, size or color and that people should spend more energy focusing on their own agendas and putting energy towards doing something positive for their communities. “In the end I believe that it is all about health, if someone is healthy at any size then it is not an issue but if their health is compromised then steps should be taken to get their health back on track. I believe how you look is a personal decision and it shouldn’t matter if someone is thin or heavy, as long as they are happy no one should have anything to say about it.” 

 

Amen sister.

 

Now, with the release of her solo album Xiomara has secured her position as a new talent on the rise. Did I mention she is a HOT SEXXXY MAMA?!!!

Xiomara’s sultry sexy voice will have you feeling like a hot blooded romantic “Criminal” who needs to be spanked.  Her cool prose will help you realize that “Nothing Stays The Same” and “The Truth” will be revealed with a little help from La Bruja, you’ll be bopping and swaying to “Un Poco De Ti” and the warm tropical sounds will take you “Back Home” and if you get “Too Drunk” with love or lust then I hope you’re ready for a steamy “Encounter Of Passion” by the end of this album you will agree that Xiomara Medina is “Number One”  with it’s New York Hip-Hop attitude, featuring another talent to look out for Zalomon. So from cool to warm to hot “Temperatures of My Life” will be quite a fun funky “Experience” and just might give you a fever..Meow!!

 

Available for purchase through Xiomara’s myspace page www.myspace.com/xiomusic

And also check out her website www.xiomaramedina.com

 

***The CD is enhanced and also has the video to her song “Criminal” directed by Casper Martinez**

 

WILL WHEATON

Album: Old School Soul

Genre: R&B

 Will Wheaton is no stranger to the music world. He is an accomplished singer and songwriter, and he has worked with the likes of Michael Jackson, Natalie Cole, Quincy Jones and Barbara Streisand to name a few. He has written hit songs for Anastacia, Tevin Campbell, Earth Wind and Fire and the legendary soul group The Manhattans.

You may recognize his soulful voice from commercials for American Express, Dr Pepper, The Gap and McDonalds (Mickey D’s can make me sing too…umm...umm).

 

Will Wheaton has always been a large man. Will says dealing with his weight is a daily struggle and it is difficult to be a man in this music business “If your not chiseled or sporting a six pack then most of mainstream society won’t find you appealing” But Will doesn’t worry himself too much with people’s opinion of him “You can’t live your life trying to please others. Take Luther Vandross for example, he constantly battled with his weight, at times he would lose a tremendous amount of weight and his fans would say his voice changed and everyone seemed to prefer Luther when he was heavier. You just never know how people will perceive you. It is ridiculous and unfair to judge someone by their weight or size, to discriminate against people because of their size is just wrong. It has no bearing on an individual’s abilities or talent or contributions to the world”

 

Will also talked to me about a  BBW (Big Beautiful Woman) who was a positive influence in his life, his Aunt Willie Maude.  “I basically got my sense of humor from my Aunt Willie Maude, she taught me how to have fun no matter what was going on” Will believes that your size should not affect your success “If people embrace you, they will accept you big or small. Monique is a fine example and she is an inspiration to us all.”

 

Some of Will influences are all BHM (Big Handsome Males) The late Gerald Levert, Luther Vandross and Barry White and you can definitely hear their influence in his music.

 

So my people, mi gente…if you want to “Satisfy” that urge to get some romance back in your life, if you want some “ Heaven Tonight” then let the soulful sound of Will Wheaton’s sexy husky voice get you to the point where you “Just Can’t get Enough” and  trust me you wouldn’t want it “ Any Other Way”, his lyrics are smooth and his voice is amazingly raw and sincere, you’ll be sure to find a favorite track to move you out to the dance floor or make you grab that bottle of wine and pick a Hunny and spend your Munny and yell out to the world I’m gonna “Do My Thang” Oh yeah… So “Come On Everybody” and take a ride back to that time when music was fun, loving and songs told a story or held a message, jump on the “OLD SCHOOL SOUL” train.

 

Will Wheaton’s album is available for purchase at www.willwheaton.com

And don’t forget to check out his myspace page at www.myspace.com/willwheaton

 

 

XIOMARA MEDINA is also involved in this event for charity along with many other great talents through www.peaceunityandhope.com
 
****Peace, Unity & Hope Inc. will donate a percentage of the profits of our events/concerts to carefully selected charities that help people that are homeless, the victims of domestic abuse, or who are ill or infirmed (i.e. AIDS, Cancer). We will also strive to assist less privileged children with furthering their education. Each concert will have a special theme and mission.
 
 My people, mi gente and let's show some SUPERSIZE love and support for people less fortunate than us or in terrible situations. You'll get an awesome show and feel like a million bucks for supporting the cause.
 
Tickets can be purchased via www.peaceunityandhope.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

       
Want to send in your Voice in for review? Are you a singer, rapper, or poet who performs spoken word?  Up and Coming, already established?  Contact Lynx through her Myspace page or email articles@largeincharge.com and all information will be forwarded to her (PUT "FOR LYNX" IN THE SUBJECT AREA) 

You must be a Size Positive Artist, or a Plus Sized Supporter.

Thanks for reading

Super Sized Sounds with Lynx

articles@largeincharge.com

 

Lynx Cool Links

www.myspace.com/supersizespanishfly

www.myspace.com/somemorelynx

www.Extravagangstaradio.com

From the Plus Side

with

Emily Smiltneck

     From the Plus side will be column dedicated to short stories that deal with all aspects of Plus size Life.  Emily Smiltneck was chosen for this position because of her dedication, and realistic writing style. She captures the emotional and mental rollercoaster those who are Plus Sized go through.

 

     Emily Susanne Smiltneck lives in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan (pretty much dead center in the middle of nowhere). She is a substitute teacher, and has recently started a tutoring business. Emily is currently working on several writing projects, including a historical fiction novel and several collections of poetry.

 

The Bet - Part 2

     Due to popular demand, I have decided to write more about Sasha and Kevin. This part of the story is a sort of prequel to the first part, which can be found in July’s issue of Large In Charge. More may be forthcoming in future issues.

     Sasha sighed and rested her chin on her folded arm. It was late at night and she was sleepless, again. Sleepless and feeling a bit lonely, a bit restless. And a bit depressed. There was only so many times a night you could check your e-mail, though, and only so many times that you could play card games online. No one seemed to be around to chat with.


    It was representative of the rest of her life, though. No one was ever around. She had friends, of course, but they were only interested in her as a part of the group. As an individual, there was nothing special about her, nothing that made them choose her company over anyone else’s. Things were great as long as she did what they wanted to do and didn’t expect them to be interested in the things that she was interested in.


      That wasn’t fair to them, really. She knew that. They did like her, and accept her, and they included her in everything they did. It wasn’t fair to expect them to not have any other lives. It was just hard because she, herself, didn’t seem to have any other life. She just wanted to be special to someone, important in a way that she alone could be important.


     She looked around her bedroom. What a mess. She really should just get out of bed and clean. But that would take energy, and all of Sasha’s energy was engaged in being depressed. There was none left to do the things that normal people did, like cleaning her house or fixing up her yard or doing much else that was useful. She managed to go to work when she needed to, but that was about it.


     It wasn’t that she felt like she was lacking friends, really. She knew who she could count on, and there were a lot of people on that list. It was just that she wanted someone there with her, in her bed, someone to hug her and tell her everything would be okay. No, not even that, really. Someone that she could hug, they wouldn’t even have to hug her back. Sasha just wanted someone to love, and that alone would be enough to make her happy. But, of course, that wasn’t possible. She wasn’t thin enough, or beautiful enough, or anything enough, to be allowed to love anyone. At thought, she sighed sadly and buried her face. How pathetic. Other people might not be able to find anyone to love them, but she couldn’t even find anyone who would let her love them.


     And then she did what she always did in her late night fits of desperation. She went to Google and did a quick search of BBW dating sites. Whenever she was feeling depressed and lonely, she created a new profile on some site to see if she could find anyone who was remotely interested in her. It was almost like a game to her. She never had much luck, since she never paid for her membership and couldn’t contact any of the men who seemed interested, but just knowing that there were men out there who might be interested in her seemed to help. And a few of the sites she used had enough features with their free memberships that she could actually communicate with some of the other users.


     Usually, the only results were men from far away, sometimes other countries, even, who claimed they would treat her like a queen, if only they lived closer, or men who asked her for money so they could come visit her, or who invited her to come and visit them but said she would have to get a hotel room because they lived with their mother/sister/girlfriend/wife. None of them ever seemed interested in her other than as a sort of online one night stand. They didn’t care what she did for a living or what she liked to do for fun. All they cared about was whether she had a web cam or not. And as far as she could tell, none of them ever had jobs or even lives away from the Internet. All Sasha ever seemed to attract were losers.


     She scrolled down the screen anyway, looking at each dating site listed in the hopes that she would find something better. One listing caught her eye: “Hipsters, a magazine for the young and modern woman, is seeking a staff writer. Specifically, qualifications include being a plus-sized woman who is interested in writing about life as a large woman, with a positive spin. A sense of humor is a plus.”
Sasha had no idea how her search, “BBW Dating” had come up with such a listing, but she was intrigued. She had read Hipsters a few times and enjoyed it as much as she enjoyed any other magazine like it. The models were all size negative four, though, like in every other publication, and the articles were aimed toward thin, successful women who were sure of themselves and confident. The writers and editors just seemed to take it for granted that their readers each had an unerring fashion sense and dozens of dates lined up every month. It surprised Sasha that they were looking for a plus-sized writer, but it excited her, too.

 
     She quickly clicked on the link and read the information that came onto her screen. She immediately saw that the heading read “BBW Wanted,” and farther down, in the list of topics to be covered by the writer they hired, dating was listed. So that was how she had come across it, anyway.


     A sample article, another piece of writing, a head shot, and a resume or list of credentials was all they needed. Sasha slowly started to smile. Her tears, her sadness, her frustration, were all forgotten. The more she thought about it, the more she wanted to submit herself as a possible writer. She was certainly a plus-sized woman, and writing was her life. It was perfect. She bristled a little at the idea that a sense of humor was required, since it seemed like all fat women were expected to be funny, but she pushed her irritation away. Most likely, they just wanted someone funny who their readers could relate to. And Sasha was becoming more and more sure that she would be that someone. She set to work, fingers flying madly over her keyboard.


     She had never written anything like this before. Or rather, she had written it, but never for anyone else to see. Obviously, everyone knew that she was fat, but Sasha always felt like proper protocol was to pretend that she, herself, wasn’t aware that she was any different from anyone else. So, of course, that meant keeping any writing she did on the topic to herself. It felt good to have someone to share it with.


     She wrote and wrote, easily exceeding the minimum word count listed. By the time she finished writing about the day, way back in middle school, when she had first come to the realization that she was fat. A bit of an exaggeration, of course, but it made a good story, she was sure. And then she searched her writing for something else appropriate to send in, and found the perfect piece, something she had written after one of her failed Internet romances. She threw together a writing resume quickly; that was easy, since she hadn’t done much writing she could list. Before she could change her mind, Sasha copied it all into an e-mail and sent it to the editor of Hipster. As she did, she envisioned her first article in print, on the pages of Hipster, complete with her own tagline: Finally, a Hipster with REAL hips!


     Calmer now, and more content as well, Sasha shut down her computer and set it on the table next to her bed. She pulled the blankets up around her shoulders, settled her head into her pillows, and waited for sleep to wash over her. For once, she was not crying as she drifted off to sleep. Instead, she was hoping with all of her heart that she could be a published author at last. Writing was the one thing that she was completely unafraid to love, because she was confident that her ability to write would never betray her. And to have a venue in which to put forth her real self, to explain the ups and downs of fat life to everyone who had ever misunderstood her? A dream come true.


     Slowly, Sasha turned off the swirling thoughts and the excitement and let herself move slowly toward sleep. After all, her dreams were waiting.

     In the morning, Sasha forced herself shower and get ready for work without taking time to check her e-mail. She knew there was no way she would have a response from the magazine yet, anyway, since it was only seven in the morning, and she had not even sent her submission until almost two a.m. She was a little groggy from lack of sleep, but the excitement left over from the night before was enough to propel her through the day. The fact that she was subbing for a Spanish teacher who had a prep hour right before lunch helped, too. That would give her an almost two hour lunch period, enough time to run home and check her e-mail then, and even enough time to doze off for ten or twenty minutes before she had to return for the afternoon. That kind of freedom was one of the reasons she liked being a substitute teacher.


     And at lunch time, when she went home, Sasha held her breath while she waited for her e-mail inbox to load. It seemed to take forever, but when it finally finished, she was rewarded immediately. There was a message from the editor of Hipster. They had enjoyed reading her submission, it said, and they notify her within the next week whether she would be included in the final stage of their decision. Three writers would have their sample columns and bios in an issue of the magazine, and the readers would vote for their favorite. She leapt from her chair and raced around the room, ignoring the dirty laundry and books and papers she was stepping on. They had enjoyed her writing! Maybe that was just a standard response, but still—Sasha had a good feeling about it.


     Back at school, she could hardly concentrate. As she gave her fourth hour class instructions for their assignment, her voice faltered and she kept forgetting what she was trying to say. Anticipation and excitement were flowing through her veins and it was nearly impossible to function.


     “What’s wrong with you today, Ms. L? You’re all bumbled up,” said one of the girls in the class.


     “Sorry, guys. I guess I’m just a little distracted.” Sasha paused, unsure whether she should say more or not. But this was a class she had taught in many times, and the kids all knew her. Why not share her excitement? “I just entered a contest in a magazine that’s looking for a staff writer, and they said they’d let me know by next week whether I have a shot at it or not,” she told them, her face flushed with hope and excitement.


     “Really? That’s so cool!” someone said. There was a rumble of agreement throughout the class, mixed with congratulations and applause from a couple of the kids. And then someone else spoke up.
“What magazine is it?”


“Hipster.”


“Oh, cool, I read that,” another student said, and a few others nodded. “What would you be writing?”


     And that was when Sasha panicked. She had no idea how to answer. Should she tell them it was a column about being fat? She couldn’t very well lie to them, could she? But if she were to tell them about the column, then she would be admitting that she was fat. Not that they didn’t know, couldn’t see from looking at her, but it might make for an uncomfortable conversation. It wasn’t the kind of thing people talked about. It was the kind of thing that people ignored, unless, of course, they were calling you names or commenting on your general disgustingness. Fatness was never brought up in casual conversation, though, and it should never be insinuated that it could be anything less than a sin to be fat.


“Ms. L. Ms. L.! You spaced out on us again. What would you be writing, I said”


     Sasha breathed deeply and prepared herself for their astonishment, their ridicule, the chaos that she was sure would break out when she told them the truth.


     “It’s—uh, it’s a column talking about what it’s like to be fa- um, plus-sized.” Oh, God, she had almost said the f-word, the word that made people more flustered and uncomfortable than even the real f-word. She listened to the silence and waited for the response, her teeth clenched. And then, finally, one girl spoke.


“That rocks! In all the magazines, they have all those stupid skinny models that make everybody in the world look fat. It’s so cool that they’re gonna have something for, like, real people.”


     Sasha steadied herself and looked around the classroom in surprise. Other students were nodding their heads. The weren’t going to make fun of her, either for writing for about being fat or for actually being fat! They were accepting her! The room spun around her and she had to sit down. She couldn’t find any words to say. Ever since she had started substitute teaching, Sasha had been known as “the fat sub.” Also as “that sub who does crosswords all the time,” but mostly just as the fat one. She had never been called that to her face, of course, but she heard kids talking in the hallways. And she had always assumed that when they called her the fat sub, they were making fun of her.


     It had never occurred to her before that maybe they were just using the word fat as a descriptor, the same way they would call someone blonde, or tall, or funky-looking. In that moment, she realized that it was she, herself, who read ugliness into the word fat. Sure, there were plenty of people in the world who were all too willing to criticize fat people, and lots who seemed to derive some kind of pleasure from humiliating them, especially among high school students. Sasha had learned that from her own high school experience, and had never quite gotten over it. But when it came right down to it, fat was just a word. And not necessarily a bad one.

 
     Sasha gathered her thoughts together and stood up. When she had slipped into her chair, the class had broken into quiet chatter. She had not yet finished her explanation of their assignment, so they had nothing to work on, but they had somehow known that they had to let her get herself together. She marveled at their intuition, and their kindness. It wasn’t what one would expect out of the same kids that most adults complained endlessly about. Sasha vowed that she would never again sit idly by while someone talked about the rudeness and crassness of today’s youth. After today, she would defend these kids to the very end.


     “Thanks for the encouragement, guys. And now, I really hate to do this to ya, but we need to get started on the assignment. Señora isn’t going to like it if she gets back tomorrow and finds out you didn’t get anything done.” She finished giving the class instructions and they settled quickly into working. Sasha watched them as they did, gazing absentmindedly out over the room full of student-filled desks and scribbling pencils.

A few weeks later, Sasha found herself sitting at her kitchen table, staring intently at a rack of Scrabble tiles. Her friend Debbi was sitting across from her, humming loudly as she paged through the Scrabble dictionary. The humming made Sasha want to throw something. She had to stop it. Talking, she figured, was the most polite way to do so. Better than whacking Debbi over the head with the Scrabble box, anyway.


“Hey, Deb? ‘Member when I was telling you about that magazine thing I entered?”


“Yep,” the other woman responded, not really paying attention. She was zeroing in on a play, Sasha could see, from the way she would rearrange her letters, then glance back at the dictionary and then rearrange them again. At least she had stopped humming, though.


“They haven’t let me know anything yet. You read what I submitted. What did you think?”


Debbi placed her letters on the board and looked up at Sasha, paying attention for real now.

 
“It was good. I’m sure they liked it.”


“You think so? So you think it was a good idea to try?”


“Hell, yeah. No reason not to. I mean, of course they liked it, but even if they didn’t, what would be the worst thing that could happen?”


“The worst that could happen is that they will write back and say it wasn’t what they were looking for, or even just not respond at all. Doesn’t sound like much, but it’ll kill me. You know I don’t take rejection well.”


“How do you know that? You never do anything that makes you risk rejection, and so you never even get rejected. You have no idea at all how you would handle it.”


“I do, too. I do all kinds of things to risk rejection.”


“Like what?”


“Well, I’m a substitute teacher. Everyone knows kids hate subs. That’s risking rejection.”


“Kids hate everything, so that doesn’t count. It isn’t personal rejection.”


“Okay, whatever. I write stuff all the time and bring it to my writer’s group. That’s risking rejection for sure. We all read what we wrote and then we just outright ask for criticism. If that isn’t risking rejection, I don’t know what is.”


“Yeah, but you’re a good writer. You already know that. You don’t do anything to risk rejection for real, where you don’t have any idea what the outcome will be. You’re a scaredy-cat.”


“If you say so.”


“I do say so. They’ll love it, and by tomorrow, you’ll have an e-mail telling you so. Now take your damn turn. I have a good play sitting here, and I wanna get around to using it.”

Sasha sighed and leaned back in her chair. Eight days, now, and still nothing from Hipster. She was glad when an instant messaging window popped up. A little conversation would be just the thing to let her forget about it for a while.


The message was from someone she had never chatted with before, and all it said was, “hay how ru.”
“Not too bad,” she answered. Great, another one who can’t type or spell right. Story of her life. She figured that she might just as well stop talking to him already. She needed a pick-me-up, though, something to reassure her that she was an acceptable human being, and somehow she always felt like karma might get her if she started turning down the few chances she had with men. It wasn’t like it was every day that a guy seemed interested in her. There had never been anyone she had ever met in person who had been interested, and even looking online where there were millions of men, she only came across one every month or two. So, she decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was different from the others.


“Where are you from,” she asked him.


“callifornai. saw ur pc in bbwdating. com.”


God, he didn’t even use capital letters.


“You saw my personal computer on bbwdating.com? I didn’t even know my computer was looking for a love interest.” May as well see right now if he could comprehend humor.


“wht? not understand”


“Do you even speak English?”


“wht size bra u ware?


“What? What makes you think I would answer that question?”


“u hav webcm?”


“Yes, I have a web cam.” Oh, what had she said that for? Now he was going to want her to turn it on, and she would, because she always did, because she liked having someone interested in her, someone who wanted to see her naked, someone who wanted her. She always felt horrible and used afterwards, but it never stopped her. It was almost like she was addicted to cyber sex.


“turn on!” he ordered her.


“I would rather not.”


“TURN ON!!”


And she did. Mentally berating herself the entire time, she took her web cam out and plugged it into her computer. She invited him to view it.


“good good” he said in response. “take shirt off”


“Oh, you don’t want to see that.”


“take pants off”


It was almost like they were having two totally separate conversations. It was obvious that Sasha wasn’t going to get anything out of this relationship, that there wouldn’t even be a relationship to get anything out of. Still, she obeyed him. She stood up and slipped off her shirt and then unbuttoned her pants. When she was standing there in her bra and panties, she looked back at the screen to see if he had said anything else.


“wow u fat”


Sasha didn’t know how to respond to that. Her first instinct was to cry, but with the web cam still on, that wasn’t an option. Still, tears burned her eyes and fought to escape. Damn it, she had wanted this to go well, to make up for her Hipster disappointment. Because, the more she thought about it now, the more she was sure that there was no reason whatsoever for them to hire her. But maybe he didn’t mean anything bad by it. He had, after all, found her on a BBW dating site. She turned her back to the web cam and wiggled around a little bit. She used the opportunity to quickly wipe the tears from her eyes and rearrange her face into a smile before she turned around to see if he had written anything else.


He had: “ha ha u 2 fat.”


Sasha reached out and turned her web cam off. The tears were back. She wished harder than she had ever wished anything that she had someone real in her life, someone who loved her, so she wouldn’t have to keep doing things like that. It was always either someone who got all weird like this guy had or someone who was just weird to start with. She had never met anyone she could meet in real life, or anyone she even wanted to meet in real life for that matter. She just couldn’t stop, though. There was always some little part of her that hoped, each time, that it would be someone normal for once.
Other than that little part inside of her, though, she had given up hope. She had accepted that every man in the world who could ever be interested in her was a freak. Anyone with any degree of intelligence whatsoever was smart enough to bypass her for a beautiful, thin woman with a glamorous job and a gorgeous house. And not that physical attractiveness was important to her at all, really, but she had also accepted that she would never have an attractive man interested in her. After all, if a man was attractive, he could obviously attract someone better than Sasha. She knew that she was pretty much the bottom of the barrel as far as women went.


One up side to all the rejection and depression and tears, though, was that they helped her write. She was very good at channeling her pain into beautiful words. And so she logged out of her instant messaging program to avoid any more stupid men and started writing. Too bad Hipster hadn’t chosen her. It would have made a good article.


Just as she was starting to shut her computer down, a window popped up to inform Sasha that she had received a new message. And when she clicked on the link, she saw that it was from Hipster. She almost decided to ignore it, to deal with it later. She had been through too much already, and didn’t feel as though she could take any more disappointment or depression. On the other hand, she couldn’t possibly feel much worse, and since she was already crying, it might be a good time to just get it over with. She opened the e-mail and closed her eyes tightly.


She gave the e-mail time to open and then opened her eyes, just a little, so that they were squinched almost closed and everything she saw was blurry. The blurriness was, she supposed, some kind of a barrier between her and rejection, although she couldn’t logically see how it could help. Still, she couldn’t make herself open her eyes any wider. Slowly, she read the subject line and then lowered her eyes. The first word, almost unreadable through her squinty eyes, was a long one. It almost looked like it started with a “C” and ended with an exclamation point. She knew that was impossible, though. If there was any reason for the letter to start with the word “congratulations,” she would have heard from them much earlier. She couldn’t dare to hope that the letter contained good news.
Now, she needed to find out. The desire to know exactly what the letter said burned within her, and still she couldn’t quite make herself read it. Not here, not when she was all alone and would have to sit alone all night, crying miserably, if it wasn’t good. Not with no one to comfort her.


But she had to. There wouldn’t ever be anyone to comfort her, no one she could share her heartbreak with. She was the happy one, the one who comforted other people, and had no right to expect the same in return. Sasha had to be strong and independent. She opened her eyes wide, drew in a deep breath, and read the e-mail.


It did say congratulations! She had been selected as one of the three finalists, and her writing would appear in the next issue for the readers to vote on it. She threw back her head and laughed in relief. And then another wave of sadness washed over her. Because there wasn’t anyone to share her good news with, either. Not at two in the morning. Her friends would be happy for her, sure, but they wouldn’t really care all that much, wouldn’t be proud of her, wouldn’t give her the reinforcement she craved. None of them thought that writing was all that important, and they just wouldn’t understand what a victory it was for her. Especially not at this time of the night. All she would do if she called any of her friends was get people pissed off at her. It wasn’t fair. She felt like she deserved to have the kind of friends she could call any time, day or night, when she needed someone to cry to or celebrate with. After all, she would cry or celebrate with them, if the situation was reversed. But, like always, she realized that some people just couldn’t get everything they wanted out of life and just had to settle for what they had. And Sasha was one of those people. It wasn’t a happy prospect, but it was the way the world worked.


She crawled into bed and waited for sleep to come. It didn’t come easy, because every time she felt herself drifting off, she was reawakened alternately by a thrill of excitement rushing through her or a wave of loneliness washing over her.

For once in her life, Sasha had underestimated her friends rather than expecting what they would not give. As soon as the issue of Hipster came out that had her article in it, they all flocked to various stores and bought multiple copies. Debbie bought five copies and her fourteen-year-old daughter passed them around her classes, excitedly telling everyone that she knew Sasha. Sasha didn’t expect anyone else to buy one, but she was surprised to find that her best friend Jim’s sister had bought a not only a copy for herself, but one for Jim, as well. And she was even more surprised to find out that Jim, the perfect picture of masculinity and full of ridicule for women’s magazines, had already bought one of his own. Her friend Fender had bought one, too.


Sasha basked in the attention she was receiving. Of course, she couldn’t tell them all how grateful she was that they were allowing her her moment in the spotlight. Instead, she teased Fender and Jim about buying the magazine, about how it would soon be quite obvious to everyone in town that they were Hipster-loving gay lovers. Sasha went days without crying herself to sleep.

Over the next few weeks, Sasha started receiving fan mail. The magazine editors had posted her e-mail address with her article and encouraged their readers to write to all three candidates as they decided who to vote for. Sasha made sure to take time to respond to every letter, not because she was trying to win votes, but because she was completely shocked to receive each and every one and felt like she owed it to her supporters to reach out to them. One day, it occurred to her that if she was thin and beautiful, the way she had always wished she could be, none of it would have happened. Her fat was finally an asset to her. The f-word was starting to lose some of its ugliness.


And then, finally, one letter came that was different from all the rest. For one thing, this one was from a man. And it wasn’t from a gay man, either. It was from a man who was a self-proclaimed FA, whatever that was, and he had come across a news story about Hipster’s search for a plus-sized writer, and so he had read the issue with the candidates’ articles in it. Hers had touched something in him, had intrigued him, and he felt like he needed to get to know her.


When Sasha read his letter, she was immediately filled with the feeling that something exciting was about to happen. It was the same goose-bumped, shivery feeling that little kids get when they wake up on Christmas morning. This was obviously an intelligent man, or more intelligent than any of the others she had met online, anyway, because he had actually read something. And his e-mail was free of grammatical and spelling errors. And he had gone out and bought a copy of the magazine, so he obviously had some money, anyway. This one might be a normal guy!


She responded right away, thanking him for the compliments and telling him that she would love to get to know him better. And in less than fifteen minutes, he had answered her.

Dear Sasha,
Thanks for getting back to me so soon! I don’t know what it is about your writing that attracted me, really, but the feeling is undeniable. Like I said, I have always been an FA (which, in answer to your question, means fat admirer), but it is more than that. Your writing seems to come from a very unique perspective. A lot of bigger women seem to be unhappy with themselves, but in your writing it seems like maybe you not only accept, but also appreciate, yourself.


This might come across as a little creepy, to be honest, because I feel an attraction for you that I just can’t ignore. The picture of you that they put in the magazine is beautiful, but it is so much more than that. The person you put forth in your article is a person I want to get to know on a much deeper level. The creepy part is that I am a little older than you are. Well, a lot, really. This isn’t a common thing for me, I usually go for older women, but I just can’t seem to help myself.


So, if you are creeped out and never want to hear from me again, I respect that. Let me know. I hope not, though. If not, can I call you?
Kevin

Sasha got the shivers as she read the letter. And she froze when she read his final question. He wanted to call her. That was never a good thing. In writing, she was eloquent and sure of herself and confident, because she had the ability to craft her words carefully and be exactly the person she wanted to be. On the phone, things were much more immediate. She had to respond right away, couldn’t write her response and then delete it and change it and make herself sound intelligent and confident. She always froze on the phone, was reduced from words to goofy-sounding giggles. And this guy seemed genuinely intelligent and kind, just the kind of guy she had always hoped to meet. She didn’t want to blow this one.


But if she said he couldn’t call her, he might just stop communicating with her altogether. Maybe she could do it. Maybe it would be okay.


She hit reply and typed her phone number into the subject line of the message. She warned him that she might be shy and might not be able to talk at all, might just laugh and sigh and sound dumb, but if he wanted to call her anyway, he was welcome to. Minutes after she hit the send button, her phone rang.


A soothing, resonating voice announced, “Sasha? This is Kevin.”

And that was the moment in which Sasha felt that she really started living.

   
   
 

Thanks for reading

From the Plus Side with Emily Smiltneck

articles@largeincharge.com

 

Emily's Cool Links

www.myspace.com/heartsoulspirit

Why, OH Why

with

Diabolique Belle

     Why, OH Why will be column dedicated to all the experiences Plus Sized people go through that make you want to say WHY OH WHY does this have to be.  Part vent, part inspiration this column will surely be one that readers will related to. Diabolique Belle was chosen for this position because of her flare for telling it like it is and turning it around for the better. 

 

     Diabolique Belle originates from Brooklyn, NY. She is a computer specialist who passionately loves making toiletries and designing gift baskets. She is capricious and dynamically outgoing and loves to say what she means and she means what she says. Diabolique is currently working on several entrepreneurial endeavors, including taking her toiletry hobby to a professional level and transitioning her writing hobby into an erotic mystery novel series.

 

Is this Job Fat People Friendly?

 

            Her business suit is pressed to a tee.  Her hair is impeccable.  Her shoes are mirrors.  Her portfolio was impressive.  Her references are outstanding.  Her resume is intimidating.  She should have been sublimely confident in securing the position; however, she was sweating bullets.  Another candidate passed her on the way in.  The woman was business professionally dressed and was equipped with all the usual business required items.  There were subtle differences but one difference that stood out the most was weight class.  At this stage in her career, she was used to the marginal discomfort that arises between disembarking from her vehicle up until the time the perspective employer made a decision.  The moment that the interviewer called her name and made their 30 second evaluation always made her queasy.  She often wondered if they were interviewing her credentials or her size.  It is a question that continually haunts her. 

            Three days later, they offer her the position.  With a sigh of relief, she accepts.  A great weight is lifted and simultaneously replaced with another.  The start of a new job always brings anxiety.  New responsibilities, new obligations; and more importantly, a new job meant new people.  New people bring along new challenges, new attitudes, new mindsets and new biases.  This added a whole new dimension of stress to the situation.  She took in a deep breath and sighed. The fun was just beginning.

            We can identify with the above situation.  The start of a new job strings along a new set of people who may or may not have their own personal biases against overweight people.  While you have to be careful not to become paranoid, you do have to keep an attentive ear out for snide comments and notions geared toward making you feel uncomfortable about your size.

For example, I was recently employed at a wrapping paper manufacturing company. I was the level one and two technical support. This is a fairly large company as you can imagine. They make and distribute wrapping paper. The company is so large that they use golf carts to get around the warehouse.  In any event, the head of the IT department decided that all of the computers in the company needed to have the same naming convention used on them.  I sat there listening to them go back and forth about how long it was going to take them to complete this task. They were planning to rotate them coming in an hour early once a week to get this task completed. I felt this was absolutely ridiculous.  I volunteered to come in on Saturday and just spend the entire day walking around renaming the computer. The network administrator (a skinny young guy) just stared at me and then commented that it was a lot (emphasis on lot) of walking and asked if I was going to be up to the task.  The system administrator (a skinny older man) agreed that they wouldn’t want me to tire myself out.  Needless to say it was extremely difficult for me to compose myself.  I assured them that it was no issue and that I would be just fine as long as I had my I Pod.  Another incident that was annoying was the tendency for them to always come to me for eating suggestions. Now, this is annoying because I am in a new city and state and they all knew this fact.  Not only was I new to the area, I also didn’t have a car.  Why would it be assumed that I would know where to go to get something to eat?  Or those awkward moments in the lunchroom when food is offered but when someone of size comes over for a taste the room goes quiet or everyone “notices” how much is taken.  Or how suddenly, diets become a topic for conversation; all of a sudden everyone that is already sickeningly skinny is so fat and desperately needs to loose some weight. 

There are certain positions we already know are out of out limits. Let’s just be real.  I don’t think it is realistic for someone who is overweight to expect to be a personal trainer or fitness instructor.  However, are there certain jobs that society expects us to employ? For example, I’ve noticed that when it is discovered that an overweight person works in the kitchen or as in the health field. People are not surprised.  To find an overweight person driving a bus, cab or other form of transportation is acceptable.  To have an overweight teacher is ok.  Overweight coaches are acceptable.  However, we do not want to see an abundance of overweight actors/actresses.  What needs is there for overweight models? 

When we consider applying for a position or going to school, are there certain fields of study or areas that we stay away from because we know there will be controversy or conflict? Have we been programmed to only to attempt what will be acceptable?  Or are we simply attempting to keep the peace and pass through life with as little drama as possible?

Personally, I prefer a more confrontational approach to things. I dare to attempt the things that people think are outside my means.  Not only to stir things up but to test the limitations that I place on myself.  Far too much of life is spent worrying about what people think and what they are going to say.

I am not inciting a riot.  I am simply giving you food for thought. How much of YOUR life is dictated by what society has deemed acceptable and unacceptable?  Do you watch what you eat or do while you are at work fearful that scrutinizing eyes are watching?  Do you deny yourself that extra helping because you don’t want to support the very stereotypes that “fat people” are branded by? How often do you politely smile or ignore the diet and exercise conversations at work? When is enough going to be enough?

 

Sorry, your approval is no longer needed.

   
   
 

Thanks for reading

Why, OH Why with Diabolique Belle

articles@largeincharge.com

 

Diabolique Cool Links

360.yahoo.com/taystee_lique 

Papi's Peace

     Papi's Peace A column dedicated to the Large man and his mind.  Papi a Chicago native takes the concerns of the Big man and brings it to light, realizing that sometimes his thoughts and feelings are not always so secure.  A how to column that deals with the issues that many men deal with in today's society.  He also hits the many aspects of living life large and putting your best foot forward as a big person.  Papi was chosen because of his dedication to motivate and weekly inspirational emails he sends to many people across the net has helped and captured many.  Papi has a flair for making difficult situations a bit more easier to deal with.  Part motivation, part realism, lots of observation and a big helping of tell it like it is.  Papi has used humor with to deliver every month.

   

Bouncing Back 

 

  • I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. - Michael Jordan

  • There is no failure for the man who realizes his power, who never knows when he is beaten; there is no failure for the determined endeavor; the unconquerable will. There is no failure for the man who gets up every time he falls, who rebounds like a rubber ball, who persists when everyone else gives up, who pushes on when everyone else turns back. - Orison Swett Marden

  • To me, the rebounding record is more important, because it stood for 21 years, and because the old record was so far beyond the next closest (total). Rebounding is a combination of will, desire, effort and hard work. - Joseph Garcia

  • No matter how far life pushes you down, no matter how much you hurt, you can always bounce back. - Sheryl Swoopes

  • There were some contributing things, but I made mistakes, and that's why I'm in this position. I'm not going to hide from it. If anything, it's going to make me that much more focused, that much more hungry. Some people think I won't be able to bounce back, but that's my motivation. - Chris Johnson

  • We're given second chances every day of our life. We don't usually take them, but they're there for the taking. - Andrew M. Greeley

  • If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we call failure is not the falling down but the staying down. - Mary Pickford

  • Failure is success if we learn from it. - Malcolm Forbes

  • Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently. - Henry Ford

  • Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. - Confucius

  • The starting point of all achievement is desire. Keep this constantly in mind. Weak desires bring weak results, just as a small amount of fire makes a small amount of heat. - Napoleon Hill

  • Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything. - Napoleon Hill

  • Champions aren't made in the gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them -- a desire, a dream, a vision. - Muhammad Ali

  • If you aren't going all the way, why go at all? - Joe Namath

  • If you can't accept losing, you can't win. - Vince Lombardi

  • The way a man plays a game shows some of his character. The way he loses shows all of it. - Unknown

 

Rebounding by Jim Stovall

Recently, I had the opportunity to attend a middle school basketball game. I found the game to be fascinating and the atmosphere to be most interesting. I was seated in front of one of the players' mothers.

This particular mother had the ability to vocalize in such a way that her every word could be heard throughout the building. Each time her son got the ball and prepared to shoot, she would yell, "Get ready to rebound."

My initial thought was: This is a horrible message to hear from one's mother as you are trying to shoot at the basket. Her implication being that she assumes her son is going to miss, and his teammates should prepare for a rebound. While her sentiments were not timely or encouraging, "Get ready to rebound" can be a great message for all of us.

One of the greatest failings among entrepreneurs, small business people, investors, and corporate America is that of always assuming the best.

I am among the most positive people you could ever meet; however, I understand that part of optimistically expecting a positive outcome is to have established the ground work of preparing to survive life's inevitable setbacks.

Recently, Tiger Woods won a golf tournament. This is not earth-shattering news as he seems to consistently win golf tournaments. What was unusual about this particular victory was the fact that Tiger Woods played poorly all day.

After his tee shot on each hole, many of his subsequent shots were played from the rough or sand traps. I believe his struggle to victory on that day makes him a true champion. Anybody can win when everything is going their way, but true champions find a way to win in the face of every adversity.

If you are in a startup venture and you have not yet had your first crisis, you really don't know where you are. It's much like a couple who has begun dating but have not yet had their first disagreement. Success comes not from avoiding problems and crises. It comes from surviving them.

In the final analysis, while we want to eliminate as many difficulties as possible, we will all be forced to deal with our share. Those who survive the misfires and get the rebound live to fight another day, while those naive souls who expected every shot to go directly into the basket are overwhelmed when they inevitably miss.

As you go through your day today, look back at your previous success and forward toward your future success while realizing that you will define yourself not by hitting every shot but by how well you rebound.

Today's the day!

 

Bouncin' Back

You keep bumping me against the wall

Yeah I know I let you slide before

But until you seen me . . . trust me

You ain't seen bouncin' back

"Bouncin' Back" by Mystikal

 

re·bound1 (rbound, r-)  Pronunciation Key

v. re·bound·ed, re·bound·ing, re·bounds

v. intr.

To spring or bounce back after hitting or colliding with something.

To recover, as from depression or disappointment.

Basketball. To retrieve and gain possession of the ball as it bounces off the backboard or rim after an unsuccessful shot.

 

The NBA is known as a game of giants. The object is for very tall men to place a ball through a hoop to score points. The hoop is 10 feet from the ground. Therefore, the taller you are, the easier it should be to score. Even so, people often miss. The job of securing these missed shots is called a rebound. It would make sense that the same logic applies. The taller you are, the easier it should be to get a rebound.

Wrong.

The average height of an NBA player is 6'7". In 2002 & 2003, the NBA rebound leader was 6'9" Ben Wallace. From 1992-98 the NBA rebound leader was 6'7" Dennis Rodman. This is a game where MANY players are over seven feet tall. Yet a man of AVERAGE NBA height led the league in gathering missed shots REPEATEDLY! Consistently! How is this?

In order to get a rebound your have to know or anticipate the angle which it will careen off the backboard. You must have the quickness to get to the ball first, the spring to soar above others to reach the ball first, the strength to take the ball away if someone does get it before you. But it also takes desire, passion, commitment and sheer will. You have got to WANT to get the rebound more than anyone else. They often say it is not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog.

So, tell Papi. How good of a rebounder are you?

When you miss or fail, do you bounce back? Do you rebound? Don't tell me you were defeated because you are just an average person. Even an average person can rebound. Can you be quick to pounce? Do you use your strength to battle obstacles? Do you have the strength, the desire, the will to pursue your dreams? If the ball in your life comes off the rim at a crazy, unexpected angle, can you adjust and still grab it? If your competitors are bigger than you, can you still persevere and push? Can you still fight and grab that board?

When you get defeated in life what are you going to do? Are you gonna get tuff and rebound?

Or will you give up, saying that's just the way the ball bounces?

You never can appreciate success without tasting failure. And because you are human you are going to fail. The big question is what happens next?

As always, the choice is yours!

I hope you have a wonderful month and remember that Papi loves you.

Peace!

 

Papi’s Poetry

Your Valley

There is strength in the valley.

Although we all enjoy

the peaks and the highs in life . . .

It is when we encounter a valley that we learn who we are.

What we are made of.

How strong we can be.

We gain strength, wisdom, and determination from climbing out of those valleys in life.

So when you get low, or find yourself caught deep in one of lifes valleys . . . know that this is

a part of your development.

Know that this is going to

help you in the future.

But most importantly know this . . .

You are not alone!

   
 

Thank you for Reading Papi's Peace

Please send thoughts and comments to

articles@largeincharge.com

Good 4 U Food

Recipes for Good... Healthy Food

By: Xander - The Food Dude

   

When the Rock Meets the River

     During a conference in June, one of the speakers said the phrase, “What happens when the rock meets the river?”

     Pretty much everyone knows the result.  Eventually, the rock will wear done, allowing the river take its course.  Just like the Grand Canyon.

     From this I recall the time my grandfather had shown me his boyhood marble collection.  All were unique in nature, born of a time when marbles were the cutting technology toy.  Some seemed to be made of stone.  When I inquired this to my grandfather, he would comment that he had made them.  Finding close to round stones, he and his friends would put them into pipes.  They would then attach screen at both ends to hold the stone in the pipe.  They would then put the pipe into a stream.  The pipe was heavy enough to hold it in place on the floor of the stream.  The screen would allow water to pass through the pipe hitting the stone causing it to turn.  Eventually the stone would be nearly perfectly round.  This created a stone marble. 

     The more and more I thought about it, it seemed that the concept of water meeting rock seemed to hold water.  It is a concept, a philosophy, a way of thinking, a way of living that can be adapted to daily lives. 

     Bruce Lee, famed martial artist, noted that water was strength because of its adaptability.  He says, “His kung fu was like water. If you put it in a bowl, it takes the shape of a bowl; if you put it in a glass, it takes the shape of a glass. It is adaptable and changing when needed.  It can be soft to cushion or hard like ice”.

     Dr. Masaru Emoto, a Japanese researcher has researched for years the effect of direct emotional states on water samples.  The variances in results from positive to negative emotions are amazing.  His theory contends that if a single drop of water is affected positively or negatively by emotional states then what effect to internal and external emotions have on a human who composed of 75 percent water.

     At times, through our efforts, it seems as though no progress is being made.  We react to that frustration or situation explosively.  We as people have an inherent need to see something happen.  We light a fuse, we expect and explosion.  We say “I love you”, we expect the same in return.

     The reality however is that those reactions are seldom the case.  We however continue to push with all our might feeling that eventually we might have that “breakthrough”.

     Most times all it really takes is a consistent, easy force that guides a person.  Change doesn’t happen all at once.  It is an ever progressive process that happens over time.  The only difference is how we recognize the change.  Sometimes it’s slow, you notice it over time.  Sometimes, its dead smack in your face.  You see it in an instant.

I     f there are times that you’re facing your own tests in life.  Step back, stop being the rock, and start being the river.

As James Taylor and Carly Simon once sang:

I might rise above; I might go below   Ride with the tide and go with the flow.

Pretty good advice if you ask me…….

Xander's Recipe of the Month

Red River Beef Stroganoff

 

I spent several days at mountain lodge in Mexico. When I arrived, the aroma of this dish was so inviting. It was excellent.   I got the recipe and it's been a family favorite ever since. This is one of those recipes that become a traditional family meal.  This meal is one that is referred to as the “Remember the great Stroganoff Grandpa, Grandma, Mom, Dad, etc used to make?”

INGREDIENTS:

2 pounds sirloin steak, cut into thin strips

1/4 cup all-purpose flour

1/2 cup butter or margarine, divided

2 large onions, chopped

1 (10.5 ounce) can beef broth

1 teaspoon dried basil

Salt and pepper to taste

1 (4.5 ounce) jar sliced mushrooms, drained

1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce

1 cup sour cream

Cooked rice or noodles

DIRECTIONS:

Dredge meat in flour. In a skillet, melt 1/4 cup butter over medium heat; sauté onions until tender. Remove from pan; set aside. Melt remaining butter and brown meat on all sides. Add broth, basil, salt and pepper, mushrooms, Worcestershire sauce and onions. Cook until mixture thickens, about 5 minutes. Just before serving, stir in sour cream. Heat through, but do not boil. Serve immediately over rice or noodles.

   
 

Thank you for Reading Good Food 4U

By Xander the Food Dude

Please send thoughts and comments to

articles@largeincharge.com

CONFESSION

 

Time to tell it like it is!

    

     This is an experiment in Confession, you can anonymously confess, or let everyone know something that you feel.  Every Month we will post all the confessions and you can come and view them and be inspired to make your own.

 

     You can send in a picture,  You can make a graphic,  You can just send in your written words.  You can do it anonymously and get something off your chest.  You can let everyone know who you are and liberate yourself.

 

     Hope you enjoy Confession!  Send in your own check the bottom of this page!

 

CONFESSION

 



  
 

I hate that comment "You have such a pretty face" like that is all I got going for me!!!! - Raqui

 

****CONFESSION*****


  
 


I bought a date so much cheesecake that for 40.00 more would have been able to get an air conditioner.
 

 

****CONFESSION*****

 


My mother is the reason why I hated my father, My father is the reason why I hated my mother. They are both the reason why I hated myself as a child. I have found a way to love them and myself. I found a way to look past the fat and see it as a good thing. Still I think i am the only one who sees it and that makes me think. Does anyone really love me if they cant accept me?

 

 

****CONFESSION*****



I finally figured out that being fat never gave me grief... I was given grief from others because I was fat.

 

 

****CONFESSION*****

 



Good bye to the one friend I thought I had. I am moving on.

 

 

****CONFESSION*****



I never admitted that I liked big ladies. Now none of the ones I want to talk to will talk to me.

 

 

****CONFESSION*****

 



Someone told me that big girls are easy to sleep with. I found out that they aren't but it sure is fun.

I love them big girls!

 

****CONFESSION*****

 
Send in your own Confession,  Use the email to the Right and send in a your confession, weather it is a graphic you made (NO BIGGER THAN 5x7 92 DPI) or a picture you saw.  You can also just send in text words.  Your Confession can be Anonymous or you can tell everyone who you are.

Send in your Confession NOW!

Thanks for reading Confession

Send in your Confession to

articles@largeincharge.com

 

Large In Charge Guest Spot

We want to hear and see your talents!

 

One of our favorite parts of the newsletter.  The Guest Spot is for our readers to submit there talents to be viewed.  We want to see all you wonderful supporters making moves of your own.  If you write poetry, short stories, commentaries, or just thoughts in general, please submit them to us.  If your a designer we want to see pictures of your clothing.   We would love to include your talents in our newsletter.  We hope you take an active part in the L.I.C. newsletter. Send in your article, poetry, comments to - articles@largeincharge.com

NOTE: The Opinion of the writer is not always the opinion of The Large in Charge Staff.  We support the Right to all views.  We do not Condemn or Approve writing based on our personal thoughts.  We approve writing based on if the subject is a concern for the BBW / SSBBW / BHM Community.  Thank you for your writing and please send in those articles!  - The Large in Charge Staff

I'm Stephanie, a 37 year old plus-sized woman living in the San Francisco Bay Area.

I love dancing, Tarot, hip-hop and travel.  You can visit me on Myspace at www.myspace.com/creolequeen. Peace

Big like the ocean!

 

 

 

I won’t soon forget this afternoon from my Hawaiian vacation.

 

There were about 30 of us on a medium-sized yacht.  Our mission: to sail about a quarter mile off the coast of Waikiki Beach for an afternoon of swimming, snorkeling, scuba-diving & any other water related recreational activity you could think of.  As the boat’s engine’s hummed I could feel the ocean gently rocking us back & forth.  One of our hosts got on a microphone and entertained the passengers as we cruised our way out into the brilliant blue ocean.

 

Was I worried about getting seasick? Nah.  Was I worried about getting sunburned? Nah. Was I worried that my friend & I were the 2 minorities on the boat? Ah yes, that was us…the gay guy & the fat chick.  I think we made a rather eclectic looking pair.

 

As the boat came to a stop, the crew gave us instructions on how to enter & exit the boat, how to use the equipment and when to come aboard for lunch.  They had everything from a water slide off the bow of the boat to those foam water noodles.  They also had snorkel gear, a water trampoline and 3 lifeguards in size 2 bikinis.

 

I was sitting there in my plus-size bathing suit with my big ole sarong wrapped around my waist.  I could’ve been shy.  I could’ve stayed onboard. I could’ve covered up the biggest body on the boat.  But that would’ve been a crime.

 

When it was time for us to disembark and hit the water, I untied my wrap and tossed it aside.  I proudly strode over to the bin full of snorkel masks & fins.  I strapped my equipment on and made my way down the ladder, which hung off the side of the boat.  I didn’t care who saw my big ass. I didn’t care who saw my big arms.  I didn’t care who saw my big thighs.  I had something that I was not going to give up.  I had the ability to enjoy myself as a big-bodied woman.  And today, I was going to enjoy my big-bodied self in the Pacific Ocean.

 

I swam out into the water.  It was about 25-35 feet deep. Clear and warm My friend & I swam, dove, floated, fed fish and took pictures with our underwater box camera.  I even swam over to the size 2 bikini mamas and said hello.  I am quite sociable you know.

 

Eventually I came back up the ladder and onto the boat.  I took off my snorkel gear and stood in front of the water slide, which propelled passengers off the front of the boat and into the warm ocean below.  For a second…just for a second…I thought, “If I go and slide down this thing…I’m going to make a big splash because I’m big.”  And I felt a small wave of self-consciousness try to drift over me. I took a step back.

 

Oh HELL no.  I was not going to be the type of lady who thinks these things…not today, not during my vacation and not on this boat.  I pulled my shoulders back, poked out my chest and held my head up.  I asked myself “Can you swim? Yes. Is there any reason for you not to go down the slide? No.”  I grabbed the silver handles on either side of the slide, and launched myself downward. With a gleeful yell I made my big splash. Big ocean, big lady, big boat, big slide, big splash….big choices.

 

The only thing that does not need to be big in my life….is fear.  When I accept myself, I am free.

 

Peace.

Send in your Work to Appear in LargeInCharge

We love our guest writers, they help us to make LargeInCharge more personal and reader friendly place.  We bring the people words from there own peers.  If you always wanted to write but never knew what to do with your thoughts and opinions.  Send them in to us we love to feature you in our guest spot.

 

What type of entries do we accept?

  • Original Articles that have not been placed in publication.

  • Size Empowerment Stories

  • Discovery of Size Acceptance

  • Romance of Large Size

  • Poetry - at least 25 lines in length

  • Complaints about Society

  • Complaints about what is provided for Big People

  • Complaints about Health Care

  • Weight Loss Surgery Experiences

  • Dealing with Doctors

  • The Joy of being Big

  • Learning to Love yourself

  • etc.

How to Submit my Article for review?

  • Check your article for spelling and correct format, We do not edit articles.
  • Attach your article either in Word, Text Format, or in the Body of your email.
  • In your email send your Real Name, E-mail and Address (state, location).
  • Under your Name and Address include date, and the line. "I give www.largeincharge.com and there owners, permission to use my written article. I am submitting it for there use at their discretion."
  • Include a picture if you so wish in .jpg or .gif format and a brief description of yourself.
 

Send in your stories, poems, etc. to

articles@largeincharge.com

 

 

Ask Raqui

Ask your Questions and We will answer!

Send your question to Raqui - articles@largeincharge.com

NOTE: The Opinion of Raqui  is just that. I do not claim to be professional or to solve your problems.  I can however give you a real answer that may help you out.

Ask Raqui

Q: Raqui your eye brows are FIERCE, how do you get them that way?

Nicole

Raqui:  Well I know you going to hate me LOL.  My eyebrows are naturally shaped like this.  I also happen to be blessed with an abundance of eyebrow hair so they do not look thin.  I do groom them to keep them looking naturally tame.  I use one of those eyebrow shavers to keep the stray hairs in line.  I always make sure no hairs are growing on my bridge and use it to define a bit on my lid.  

One trick I also do is trim my eye brow hairs.  My hairs grow long and I hate when I am sweating and wipe my face that my eye brows hairs kind of paste against my face and looks weird.  With an eyebrow brush I brush some gel on to my eyebrow making the hair stand up then I trim them with little scissors  according to the line of my brow.  You can always add a little gel when your going out to keep your eyebrows in line.

I will look up some products for you and post them in next months product section.

Q:   I want to be a sponsor for one of your raffles, how can I be one?

Geni

Raqui: All you have to do is email me @ articles@largeincharge.com and tell me what you would like to sponsor.  As long as it is a product that people of size can use it is usually accepted.  Please also include a description and a picture of the item.  Don't forget all your contact information.  I will then see where we have an opening for you in the raffle line up.

Q:   I sent in all my information for being a cover model, but I haven't gotten a response.

Gloria

Raqui:  When you submit your pictures and information to be a cover model you get cataloged for review.  If you are chosen you will be emailed with a congratulations letter and an interview to complete in a timely manner.  If you do not complete the interview in a timely manner you will be dropped from being a cover model.

This year I opened submissions again for cover models because the ones chosen did not complete their interview in time.  Make sure you submitted an email address you check regularly.

Q:   I wanted to submit myself to be a cover model but I don't think my pictures are good enough.

 

Cover Model Wanna Be

Raqui:  Yes many times we get pictures of good looking individulas but the pictures are not professional quality.  Pictures taken in very dark settings with improper lighting,  Group shots, Scenery with lots of people or items in the background, pictures taken in house clothes, or with over done make up and outrageous hair.  Those are not acceptable.

Your pictures can be done outside or inside if you have back ground that is mostly one color.  Pictures taken on your couch or bed with family photos or bottles of cream to the side or behind you are not acceptable.

My tips are to dress nicely, groom your hair, add some make up but don't over do it.  We like natural beauties.  Ask a friend with a digital camera who can take some time and takes a decent shot to go outside and take some pictures of you.  Natural lighting can do wonders for you.

BIG TIP: search online for amateur photographers and make up artists in your area.  Trade skills with them.  Let the make up artist do your make up.  Let the photographer take your photos.  And share the pictures, all 3 of you can use them for your portfolios.

 

Thank you for Reading Ask Raqui

Please send thoughts, comments and questions to

articles@largeincharge.com

Large In Charge

Fashion Furious

BBW/BHM Fashion of the Month

     We all hate how the Fashion Industry is just scratching the surface when it comes to Large Sized Fashion.  But I have found out that many clothing stores and online companies are beginning to take up the slack.  Creative BBW, SSBBW and BHM's are making there own clothing or mix matching and finding basic everyday wear and night club wear. 

     Making it affordable is what can be hard so showcase your wonderful finds here.  If your a regular shopper, sew your own clothing or a designer showcase your clothing here by submitting a picture for Fashion Furious of the month.

 

Fashion Furious of the Month

How to send in your Fashion Find. Send a Clear Picture as an attachment

and use the Format Below to describe your Fashion Furious picture.

Email to Raqui:  articles@largeincharge.com

Fashion Find by: Raqui

Fashion Type: Mens Boxer Briefs

Description:  Jockey® Seamless 2-Pk Midlength Brief. Jockey® has designed these briefs with no seams and no tags so there's nothing between you and soft, fine-gauge cotton jersey knit. Both with no-fly contour pouch, double fabric fly and crotch and taped leg openings for a smooth fit. In packages of 2. Machine wash. Imported. Total inseam 5 1/2"

Buy 1, take 25 % off the 1st item

 

Why I like this item: Men here it is the most sexy underwear you can wear (At least in my eyes)  I love a man wearing some of these with the matching tee shirt to bed.  You can clearly see all his best attributes.  Yet your comfortable and cool.  These come in my favorite colors on a man.  This is a big +++++ for me!

 

     Here is a little secret for all you big girls out there that hate panties because they cut you right in your creases.  These boxer brief are very comfortable.  They are cotton so you get all the benefits of a soft cotton undie with out the biting in your creases.  They are perfect for wearing under pants and skirts in the summer.  No more legs rubbing together. You could even rock the matching tee shirts and wife beater style shirts and no one would know.  And if you want to wear them to bed they don't ride up like some shorts do.  I never had them roll up on me.  It maybe a mans product but it looks so much better on a woman!

 

King Size - www.kingsizecatalog.com


 

 

 

   

Send in your Fashion Furious Picture and Details to

articles@largeincharge.com

Large In Charge

Product of the Month!

What is good for Big Sized Bodies

 

    A very important and necessary part of LargeInCharge.  Find out what is helpful for big bodies.  Keep your self straight with some of our tips and tricks. Find out what other Big Sized people use to keep themselves smelling, feeling, looking, and living a proper life.  What kind of products are allowed. Anything that deal with the body. From cleaning aids to soap, lotions, powder, healing aids etc.  anything that can help a big body!

NOTE: The Opinion of those who submit items are not professional.  They are everyday people who found something that worked for them.  We are not held responsible for there opinion - The Large in Charge Staff

Send your favorite Item to be Product of the Month - Follow format below, include a picture of product (most can be found online) and Send to articles@largeincharge.com

Product of the Month

 

About the Product

Recommender: Raqui

Name of Product:
Platinum Portable Ice Maker


Type of Product:
Portable Ice Maker That Makes 35Lbs of Ice A Day

Cost of Product: $160.00


Where Product can be found:
www.priceground.com - you can always search for others online by searching Portable Ice Maker or Counter top Ice Maker.

Description:

Specifications:  A self-contained ice maker: stylish, compact, easy to use and requires no installation. Produces 12 cubes in less than 10 minutes. Makes 3 different ice cube sizes. Ideal for home bars, recreation rooms, boats...almost anywhere. No need to drive to the corner convenience store for heavy, wet and drippy bags of ice! This commercial-quality ice maker can start delivering ice in less than 10 minutes, and make up to 35 lbs. of ice in 24 hours! And not only can you choose from three different size cubes, you also have the option of using bottle water, not tap water, if you desire. 1-gal. water reservoir. No drain required. 14" x 17" x 16 1/2" tall.

Features Include:

  • Makes up to 35lbs of ice cubes per day
  • Stores up to 2.5lbs of ice at a time.
  • Produces approx. 12 ice cubes in less than 10 minutes
  • Makes 3 different ice cube sizes
  • 1.2 gallon water reservoir
  • No drain required
  • Soft touch controls
  • Platinum color
  • High efficiency CFC-free compressor
  • Net weight: 40.75lbs
  • Power: 120V / 60Hz
  • Unit dimension (L x W x H) 17.125 x 15 x 17 in
  • Package dimension (L x W x H) 20.75 x 18 x 20 in
  • Gross weight 46 lbs

Warranty: 1 Year Manufacture Warranty


Why I like this Product:
This is one item for those of us who use A LOT of ice.  Especially in the summer.  If your like me and you like a lot of ice cubes in everything you drink, and it never seems like you can make enough ice, or have like 10 or more trays in your freezer taking up all the room.  This item is for you.  Yes it is a bit of an investment.  But there is one great thing about it. You never have to buy ice again.

  • Going to the beach - you have ice

  • BBQ TIME - you got ice

  • Having a party - you have ice

  • Making drinks at home - yes you have ice

  • Family comes over - You got ice

  • Having a sexy interlude - WHOA BABY you got ice

 

     You can choose what kind of cubes you want.  And you can pack it away in winter if you don't need that much ice then.  All you do it put water in it and YOU GOT ICE!  If you got a deep freezer you can store ice in it. You can have it running while your party is going and you will have ice all night. Great for apartments also.

 

 

 

Send in your Product recommendation to

articles@largeincharge.com

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