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Welcome to Large In Charge Magazine           

 Issue #45 - December 2007


In this Issue of L.I.C

Feature of the Month - Top 10 Gifts for Plus Sized People!

Cover Model of the Month -
2008 Cover Model Search and Voting for our 2007 Cover Model of the Year!

CONFESSIONS - Let it go and Confess! Get it off your Chest!

Raqui's Spot - Christmas Wishes from Fat Souls.

Super Sized Sounds - Looking back @ 2007 featured artists ~ SUPERSIZED SPANISHFLY LYNX

From the Plus Side - Christmas Carole ~ Emily Smiltneck

Why, OH Why - Biting the Holiday Bug Back?  ~ Diabolique Belle

Good 4 U Food -
Apple Cider Chicken 'n' Dumplings ~ Xander

Guest Spot - Searching for New Writers.  Apply to be a LargeInCharge writer!

Fashion Furious - Fashion Finds with Plus Size style. Submit a Find!

Product of the Month - Products for People of Size

Ask Raqui - Get some advice from one Big person to another.

FREE RAFFLE - Enter to win our next prize!

Events & Pictures - Events, Parties, Press Releases, Pic's & More.


LargeInChargeDating - Dating for the Large People who are going to be in Charge of their Love Lives!


LargeInCharge Friends - The Place for Big People to make Friends and maybe MUCH MORE!

Feature of the Month

Top 10 Gifts for the

Plus Sized


Top 10 Gifts for the Plus Sized

Article by: Raqui


     Many of our readers asked if I was going to give my picks for presents this year.  Since so many people requested I make a top 10 for the Christmas Season, I am again presenting my picks for Plus Sized Christmas Presents.  Some old favorites and some new.  Hope you enjoy your Holiday Season.


Raqui's 10 Picks for Plus Sized Presents

Gift Cards -  I will say it again gift cards are great.  You can give a plus sized person a gift card to a favorite restaurant.  Clothing store they shop at.  Online store or you can give them a Visa Gift card and then they can buy whatever they want at any store.  There are so many options when it comes to gift cards and you can never go wrong.  The person always gets what they want.

Gift Certificates are great also.

Blankets - I give this gift often it is great for everyone.  It is warm comes in many colors and at the biggest size (King) it is affordable at $17.99 from a great website for bedding.  They also have at home catalogs.  The King Size 100% cotton woven blanket is perfect for man, woman or couples.  In many colors you never have the wrong choice. 

Don't think all gifts have to be expensive. this affordable gift is something I get the most compliments on :)

Dignite Produts - After using this product and recommending it I have to say it will make a great gift for any plus sized person. These products actually do what they say. They Clean, Protect and Moisturize the skin. Made especially for people of size they can help those who are immobile and are great for everyone in-between.  Moisturizer with out the greasy feeling, Cleaning products that leave no film behind.  Skin protecting cream that does work.

Cost of Product: 44.74 for the complete set/each can be purchased individually also.

Where Product can be found:

Party On People - Do you have a Plus Sized Party Diva or Devil on your hands?  Someone who goes to the BBW parties regularly?  Or maybe someone who always wanted to go but can't afford it very often.  Talk to the owner/promoter of the party.  I am sure if you wanted to pay for a few admittances for a friend they would make you a cool certificate to give as a gift. Maybe you might get a cut on the admittance price as well.

Cool Memberships - Ok I usually don't recommend something so personal but because these two companies are so cool.   And hopefully if you know the person your getting these memberships for then all will be ok.

GameFly - great membership where you can rent video games for most game systems -

NetFlix - membership in which you get to rent unlimited DVD's Via mail the return time is excellent -

 Great Gifts Made Easy - Free Shipping on Purchases over $100 125x125

Red Enbelope - This website has great gift items.  What I like about them most is that you will find high quality items for a decent price.  Perfect to find that item for a good friend or family member.  Many items can be personalized so it makes a perfect meaningful memory.

The Swiss Colony - Every year for about 10 years I order from The Swiss Colony. They have a wonderful array of holiday candy and treats.  Meats, sausages and cheeses, cakes and all kind of wonderful holiday presents of the edible kind.  I have found that many people love to have an edible gift they can share with the family or keep all to themselves.  I mean you cant go wrong with yummy sweets and treats during holiday time. They also have an affordable credit arrangements.


GNC - Time to help out your Healthy Nut.  Yes Healthy people can be plus sized.  So if you know that girl or guy who is working out.  Needs some healthy treats, or always wanted to invest in some good vitamins but hasn't.  This might be a great gift idea. Please also take note that GNC is not just Vitamins anymore.  They have great gifts ideas in there Health and Body section and Fitness and Wellness.  They have great soaps, shampoos, skin and body treatments.  As well and many massagers, monitors and products.

 Shop Clearance at 125x125

Blair - With the amazing seasonal clearance and everyday low prices Blair is a great place to get all the little things you want and need for you and your home during the holidays.  Not sure what to get that new friend or acquaintance?  Blair will have something affordable yet nice and useful.  Give this site a good look. They also have some nice items of clothing in sizes 3xl for ladies and 4xl for the men. - My absolute favorite place when it comes to personal gifts.  Know someone who you want to get a special gift for?  All you need is a digital camera, or a great picture of them.  You can makes wonder personalized mugs, mouse pads, calendars, and my favorite PHOTO BOOKS.  Instead of just printing your digital pictures from there site in prints.  you can have a whole photo book printed up and mailed right to them as a present.  I love the holiday cards you can have created, and the many other projects that can be made.  This site is a site I use all year when it comes to gifts.


Thank you for Reading The LargeInCharge Feature

Please send thoughts and comments to

Cover Model of the Month



Enter to be a 2008 Cover Model


     Vote for our Cover Model of the year.  Each Cover will take you to the Back Issue so you can see the image more clearly if necessary.  You can only vote once.  Please show your support to our Cover Models by voting.  You can choose who will win Cash and Prizes donated by our Sponsors Listed Below.

Fat Momma (Nell Wilson)

Issue #36 - March 2007

Jennifer Lindsay

Issue #37 - April 2007

Joyce Licorish

Issue #38 - May 2007

Samantha Green

Issue #39 - June 2007

Meghan Holbrook

Issue #40 - July 2007

Jamell Ivester

Issue #41 - August 2007

Ashley Brown

Issue #42 - September 2007

Francisca Ramos

Issue #43 - October 2007

Shereja Rage

Issue #44 - November 2007

2007 Cover Model of the Year Sponsors


Wilkes BBW Pageant -  - Entrance into the Wilkes BBW Pageant PA and hotel for your stay - Value $300.00  - Personally Designed Compcard worth 150.00  - 100.00 Gift certificate to be used at the site.

Rosalee Women's Size Apparel
- - $75.00 Gift certificate to use on the site. - $50.00 Cash Gift - Plus Sized Author Chamein Canton's Two Books valued at $45.00

Curvesity Entertainment - $25.00 American Express Gift Certificate BBW t-shirt. One shirt sizes up to 5XL - Value is $15.



2008 Cover Model Search


Want to be a LargeInCharge Cover Model?

     It has been almost five years LargeInCharge opened its online doors to the Big World.  We started with 740 readers March 2004.  We have built up to over 70,000 readers a month.  We have continuously given the Big World article after article.  Fashion tips and clothing companies.   Hot events and self esteem advice. Interesting information and cool products.  We have changed, grown and become better.  Online Magazine's are the big now doing better than physical paper magazines.  Any successful magazine must have an online presence.  LargeInCharge has been leading the way.


     Now with our third annual Cover Model Search taking place we are beaming with pride.  LargeInCharge keeps our entrance to be a cover model free by using photographs that the person submits for our covers. We don’t ask for an entry or submission fee from our models.  All we ask for is clear good photographs that would be considered portfolio type of pictures. At the end of the year we have a voting for the public and name one of them Cover Model of the Year he or she wins prizes and possibly money from our sponsors depending on what our sponsors give that year.


     Being a LargeInCharge cover model can be a great add on to your comp card or resume.  It can also be a feather in the cap of aspiring models.  So many beautiful and handsome big men and women who are not professional models can now be featured where they will be appreciated.  NO MORE SIZE 20 or 2XL ONLY MODELS.  AGE DOESN'T MATTER.  NO MORE FETISH ONLY PICTURES. We like them professional and in all sizes INCLUDING SUPER SIZED.  There are no limits with us.





What to Send In to be a LargeInCharge Cover Model?


NOTICE - Follow the Directions carefully, if you have a question you can email me and ask before you send in your entry.  Any Entries that are not sent in properly will be thrown out. Last year time was wasted because people did not ready the instructions. Take the time to send in your entry properly.

Send In the following - You must send at least one of each.

  • One or more Head shot Black & White / Color - in your modeling attire
  • One or more Full body shot Black & White / Color - in your modeling attire

NOTE: the more pictures you send it the better for us graphically.

Type of pictures

  • Digital or scanned pictures only
  • The Picture must represent you in your Current State
  • Pictures must be of one person, no group shots.
  • Pictures of Big Males and Females only.
  • Pictures must be clear with no watermarks.
  • Pictures cannot be smaller than 300 DPI, 800 x 600 pixels
  • Pictures must be tasteful and fully clothed - Swimsuit and tasteful lingerie is allowed.
  • Nude is not allowed unless it is artistic.  No private areas shown.



       Cell Phone Camera small and Discolored              Picture has distracting background                     

         Webcam picture Fuzzy small & discolored                multiple people with people in the background

Poor lighting with dark background



Pictures are well lit, clear and centered, background is clear and natural, proper size.

Picture Categories - You can send in pictures for any of the below categories

  • Winter - Winter wear, coats etc. and Seasonal type of clothing, costumes and colors.  Winter backgrounds scenes
  • Spring - Spring wear, sweaters etc. bright, airy, wind blown. Spring backgrounds scenes
  • Summer - Swimsuits, wraps, summer dresses. Summer background scenes
  • Fall - Fall colors and sweaters.  Earthy natural settings. Fall Colors.
  • Ethnic - Ethnic prints and colors.  Ethnic combinations of fabric and prints.  Jewelry
  • Business - Suite and tie. City backgrounds
  • Sporty - Sports clothing of all types. participating in sports. Jogging, walking, basketball, football, Skating. Etc
  • Exercise - In exercise outfits, gym scene etc.
  • Gothic - Gothic clothing and costumes etc.

Solid backgrounds are also acceptable in all categories.  You can send in as many pictures of you in different categories as you desire.


When you send in your pictures include the following information:







Email address:

Contact phone number:



and the BELOW statement : 


By submitting my pictures to the Cover Model Search. I am allowing to use my images as they see fit.  I reserve rights to my pictures.  YOUR NAME AND DATE HERE


What will I receive if I am picked

  • You will be interviewed for the Month you appear as our Cover Model and remain in our database.
  • You will be entered in our Yearly Cover Model contest to win Cash and or Prizes at the end of the year.

Ready to Enter?

Send your information to


Thank you for Finding out more about our Cover Model

Please send thoughts and comments to

Raqui's Spot

     Raqui the Owner and Founder of LargeInCharge Magazine.  This spot is dedicated to her thoughts, vents, and observations of Plus Sized Life.  Raqui's  "Tell it like it is" style of writing has brought hundreds to her blogs and thousands to  There is so much behind the woman who has brought this magazine into existence.  Being Internationally known as a wrestler lead the way to modeling for companies and being featured in magazines and documentaries from all over the world.  She has made a career out of her size and personality.


     For the past 4 years moving into Size Acceptance and Empowerment.  She is a woman who doesn't let things get to her.  Knock her down for the moment but she will rise up stronger and better.  Being a speaker on behalf of many subjects and counseling Plus Sized people online her grace and style has made people love her.   Raqui continues to set an example of a powerful woman who will bend the world to fit her, her way.

Raqui Appears on The Christina Show                   Raqui Appears on The Maury Show

Christmas Wishes from Fat Souls

     It is that time of year when people think about the past and the future.  When we look at all that has happened in the last twelve months, and what we want to accomplish in the next twelve.  Where our lives are going what we want for ourselves as well as family and friends.  Faith is strong for some at this time, and weak for others.  Still many of us try to capture in our hearts what the Christmas season means to us.


     For some in the Plus Sized community it is a celebration.  For others a time when we feel alone.  I have spoken to many who dread having to face relatives they haven't see all year long because they don't want to be looked down upon as the FAT ONE.  I decided that one way to combat the negative and to focus on the positive it to put our wishes into writing.  Having a place to share your wishes and to be able to read them.  In a way to commit these wishes into reality by writing them and sharing them.


     This month we share our Wishes and I hope everyone's wishes will come true for this coming New Year.




My wish is to continue to be successful in all my endeavors. I want LargeInCharge to continue to grow and to never have to worry about money again.  Going to Vegas Bash this year would be great!



I wish for an awakening in our leaders that will bring cleaner ways of assisting the people to lead lives with more joy and less worries.
Avery Ray Colter, Bay Point, California

For my Daughter India to have the best Christmas Yet!
David, Texas, USA

Peace for the upcoming year. May you have everything you need and the blessing to differentiate your needs from your wants.
The Moor Prince

my wish is a new car.. my boyfriend lost his job over a month ago and we are out of money, I am on disability and our car is broke down, we live in a small town of less than 3,000 people in northeast Missouri and there are no jobs here, you have to go about an hour away to a bigger town to find work and without a car he cant find work.
Michele Wallen

I would like to wish all my sisters in Chi Zeta theta a wonderful Holiday Season and to let them know that all of them bring out the best in me
Penny Allensmith

To finally move into a condo, get a promotion or 2 within transit and no longer sleep by myself each night.

I wish for Large beautiful people to become more accepted in this world... Oh and to have me on the cover of your magazine hehe!

My Christmas wish, peace on Earth and all goodwill to all Humanity.

I wish for everything to come in Plus Sized

To all my BBW sisters and those who admire us, God Bless and have a joyous Christmas and a Glorious New Years!

Lady E (Beth)


Merry Christmas sorors of Chi Zeta Theta Sorority, Inc.

From Lesley


I wish for a DDR Dance Pad for the Xbox 360 LOL

Rachel Perez


I want to be healthy physically and to do well Financially this year!



I wish for peace on the streets of my city (Philadelphia)

Ron Starr


that my sistaz stop suffering...




Raqui's Cool Links

Raqui's Blog-Spot Page 

Raqui's My Space Page

Raqui's Yahoo 360 Page

Raqui's BBWVibe Page


Thank you for Reading Raqui's Spot

Please send thoughts and comments to

Super Sized Sounds



     Super Sized Sounds will be a Music Column that will feature those who are in the industry or up and coming who are size positive. Giving recognition to the plus sized people who are out there and showcasing themselves.  Reviews, Interview, News and more from our new writer Super Sized Spanishfly Lynx.


      Lynx Garcia, also known as "SUPERSIZE SPANISHFLY", is a Latina BBW from Queens NYC.  Lynx is an activist speaking out against size discrimination and began performing back in 1996 at social events for big beautiful women and big handsome males and their admirers. Her special mixture of sound held true as she sang, spat, danced and performed spoken word, soon she was in demand by Big and Beautiful parties nationwide.  Lynx taking her "look" and sound mainstream was rejected because of her size. She did not let this break her spirit, hurt her confidence or minimize her drive. Instead she rose up and started a public access show (LYNX' LAIR) aired in Queens on TIME WARNER QPTV . Combination of comedy and sexy style, she showcased underground artists of all walks of life. The response to her show was less than a year she has showcased many artist, some who moved to bigger and better things.


     Currently Lynx has caught the attention of Joey Mekkah of BLACK SOLARIS ENTERTAINMENT and found herself on the Grandmaster MELLE MEL's SOLO ALBUM "MUSCLES" featured on the hot latin hip-hop track called 'DIMELO", she is the only collaboration on the album. Lynx recently has started her own radio show on EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO.COM  called Ladies Night. EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO is #1 on the itunes network.



Artist of the Month


     My people, mi gente…OMG 2007 are almost over.  Can you believe it?    What an incredible year it has been.  I have provided snippets of the reviews of all the wonderful artists I have reviewed since I began writing for Largincharge.  Be sure to check them all out and let em know Lynx sent ya. (to read the reviews in their full glory just check out our back issues and enjoy!!!  I look forward to another year of reviewing new HUNGRY artists, however, I would really like to see my brothers and sisters of size submit their music.  This is an opportunity for your music and your talent to be acknowledge.  I wish the entire Largeincharge family as well as our readers a happy holiday and a bright new successful, peaceful and productive New Year.  Grab a Plate for 2008….Viva Gorditas!!!!

God Bless

Wonder who will be the artist to kick off 2008??????   Submit my people submit.

Looking back @ The 2007 Featured Artists



Album: Blowin Up

Genre:Rap/Hip Hop

Bombchelle was born and raised in Somerset, NJ  and began writng poetry at the age of 6 and  writing rhymes at age 13. She is manager, promoter, booking agent, and co-owner of GREENHOUSE RECORDINGS and also a single mother.

She is a full-figured woman who has taken charge of her career and destiny.

“There was a time when I had a problem with my size. I think it was because I had people telling me I needed to look a certain way in order to make it in this industry”. Somewhere deep inside herself Bombchelle found the strength to overcome the negativity in her life and pursue her dreams despite her size. “I’ve learned to accept how I look because it is a part of who I am and I happen to love who I am, I am talented, loving,  caring, decent and real”.

*****Bombchelle is currently performing and appearing on various mixtapes****

Check out Bombchelle  @ her myspace page




Album title: THE BEGINNING

Genre: New Age

Richard Laurent otherwise known as the Earthman has long been an admirer of big beautiful women.  At the young age of 10, Earthman fell in love with his art teacher who was a very large voluptuous woman, he said like to watch her move (nasty little and she also introduced him to his favorite artist PICASSO. “I view big women for what they are, beautiful works of art”. (Let em know!)

****Earthman is currently performing and continuing to create sounds that heal and promote wellness****

Check him out at




AlbumTitle: Like A Thief In The Night

Genre: Hip-Hop/Spoken Word

     Picture this, a whole theatre filled with an audience that just mercilessly laughed at and booed an act off of the stage. The audience is screaming for the headliner KRSONE. As the next artist walks onto the stage, DJ Red Alert says “Let me play a little something to calm them down.” The artist is Amir Sulaiman and he grabs the microphone and turns to Red Alert and says firmly “ No, I got this”, and you just knew whatever it was he was about to do,  was going to be awesome. What presence…he stood there and silenced the crowd with the determined focused glare in his eyes. He inhaled their indifference and skepticism an exhaled truth, knowledge and spirituality. He captivated everyone in the house with his strong powerful voice, with his prose and raw gimmick, no entourage....just a man and a microphone. And although Amir stood underneath the lights of the stage, he radiated a light all his own. Is it any wonder that Amir made it onto HBO’s Def Poetry Jam, or that even Russell Simmons himself sat stunned  by Amir’s performance?

****Amir is currently performing all over the states ****

His page is




Album: Temperatures of My Life

Genre: Pop/funk/Latin and a dash of Hip-hop flavor

     Xiomara Medina was born and raised in Puerto Rico. She began singing at the age of six and before she finished high school she acted in locals plays and landed a recurring role on Telemundo’s late night comedy show “No Te Duermas”.

     Xiomara feels that people spend too much energy judging people because of their race, size or color and that people should spend more energy focusing on their own agendas and putting energy towards doing something positive for their communities. “In the end I believe that it is all about health, if someone is healthy at any size then it is not an issue but if their health is compromised then steps should be taken to get their health back on track. I believe how you look is a personal decision and it shouldn’t matter if someone is thin or heavy, as long as they are happy no one should have anything to say about it.” 

Amen sister.

Check out Xiomara’s myspace @




Album: Old School Soul

Genre: R&B

    Will Wheaton is no stranger to the music world. He is an accomplished singer and songwriter, and he has worked with the likes of Michael Jackson, Natalie Cole, Quincy Jones and Barbara Streisand to name a few. He has written hit songs for Anastacia, Tevin Campbell, Earth Wind and Fire and the legendary soul group The Manhattans.

     You may recognize his soulful voice from commercials for American Express, Dr Pepper, The Gap and McDonalds (Mickey D’s can make me sing too…umm...umm).

     Will Wheaton has always been a large man. Will says dealing with his weight is a daily struggle and it is difficult to be a man in this music business “If your not chiseled or sporting a six pack then most of mainstream society won’t find you appealing” But Will doesn’t worry himself too much with people’s opinion of him “You can’t live your life trying to please others.

And don’t forget to check out his myspace page at




Album: The Source

Genre: Spoken word/hip-hop

     One would find it hard to believe that this curly haired angel faced buxom beauty has had some issues with body image. She said that she always felt this pressure that she needed to look a certain way in order to remain and or succeed in this music industry. At a size 12 Desdamona felt uncomfortable with her size. I suppose in mainstream America this is borderline plus size. Mainstream doesn’t have a clue, a size12… hmm… that is skinny to me.

     She believes that we are affected by everything that is told to us even what we say to ourselves. She says ”You have to constantly tell yourself you love yourself, you must counteract the negative ,become spiritual whatever way that may be and always focus on the positive”.  Amen Des.

***Desdamona is currently performing at spoken word venues across the States***

check out Desdamona’s my space page at




Album: The Attack

Genre: Hip-Hop/Reggae/Pop/Rock/Club

     Jah Jah has been on the underground music scene for many years now and The Attack is her third album. Jah Jah’s claims of top rap artists such as Fifty Cent and Fergie stealing lyrics and ideas from some of her songs has caused quite a commotion on the internet.

     Jah Jah is outspoken and not afraid to fight for what she believes is right. And looks like there’s plenty of fight in this tiny little blond headed Diva, she even came face to face with a 90lb pit-bull who chewed off a chunk of her leg. She may have even bit him back!

Check out her myspace page at

****Jah Jah is currently working on new material and working on some killa collabos****



Album: Hell Up In Harlem

Genre: Hip-Hop/R&B

     Kyle Rifkin has been in the music game for almost twenty years. You may recognize Kyle’s voice from some of Hip-Hops most memorable songs like Rob Base’s “Joy and Pain” and he has also worked alongside some of the biggest names in Hip-Hop and R&B such as Run DMC, New Edition, Mase, Camron , Smokey Robinson, Ice T to name a few.  When you meet Kyle Rifkin you automatically get the feeling that you are talking to your best friend or brother. He is humble, soft spoken and kind.

     Despite his hectic schedule Kyle manages to dedicate time to various causes and charities.

     He has tremendous stage presence and his voice is remarkably soulful and strikingly similar to some of the greatest R&B singers of our time.

***Kyle is busy busy busy , he just signed with Koch Records and is performing all over the states ***

Also check out Kyle’s myspace page at




Album: The Love Parade

Genre: Pop Electronica

      Lola Dutronic is a Canadian duo made up of producer extraordinaire Richard Citreon (formerly of The Diodes) and female singer Frankie Hart. I am really feeling the overall sound and style of Lola Dutronic. Richard’s production is crazy. Frankie’s sweet sexxxy angelic voice  is the purrrfect compliment and adds a certain nostalgic timeless element reminiscent of singers like Barbarella

You take one part British pop

One part French

Two parts English

And a dash of Japanese lyrics

Throw in plenty of Canadian swag

Some soft sexy vocals

Toss in plenty of modern electronica

Mix it all up

And what you get is the tastiest treat your ears ever had the pleasure of sampling

***Lola Dutronic has received a Grammy nomination for Best Electronica Album  Congratulations!!***

Don’t forget to check out their myspace page @




Album:  HOOD TREASON The Warm up Album



NYOIL’s fierce and flawless powerful delivery and controversial lyrics have made NYOIL a favorite among the people.  People who miss that real Hip Hop flow.  His style is unique and his word play is ridiculously clever and his expression is intense.  Lit by a fire ignited by our ancestors and driven by his passion and love for true hip hop, NYOIL has managed to bring back the kind of hip hop meant to heal, to uplift, to speak of the people and their struggles and passions.

***NYOIL is collaborating with Dee-Nyce and has been touring and creating more music for the Hip Hop Soul***

You can check him out at


Want to send in your Voice in for review? Are you a singer, rapper, or poet who performs spoken word?  Up and Coming, already established?  Contact Lynx through her Myspace page or email and all information will be forwarded to her (PUT "FOR LYNX" IN THE SUBJECT AREA) 

You must be a Size Positive Artist, or a Plus Sized Supporter.

Thanks for reading

Super Sized Sounds with Lynx


Lynx Cool Links

From the Plus Side


Emily Smiltneck

     From the Plus side will be column dedicated to short stories that deal with all aspects of Plus size Life.  Emily Smiltneck was chosen for this position because of her dedication, and realistic writing style. She captures the emotional and mental rollercoaster those who are Plus Sized go through.


     Emily Susanne Smiltneck lives in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan (pretty much dead center in the middle of nowhere). She is a substitute teacher, and has recently started a tutoring business. Emily is currently working on several writing projects, including a historical fiction novel and several collections of poetry.

Emily Smiltneck receives recognition in Neighbors Daily Press - See article below


     It is a great joy when our fellow Plus Sized people receive recognition for their life's work.  Join me in this Joyous moment when one of our LargeInCharge writers is seen for her contribution and great dedication to her goals in life.  Click the images above to read the article about our dear Emily. When the page open click on the article to zoom in and read it.


Christmas Carole  

            Couples were rushing in and out of stores and on and off of buses, mittened hands clasped tightly together.  The occasional lone man hurried past, dressed in a business suit with matching scarf and gloves, shopping bags under one arm, not looking to either side, just anxious to get home to his wife and kids.  Scattered here and there were groups of women pulling brightly colored sweaters and shiny gold and silver watches from bags and boxes, comparing the riches they would soon bestow on their husbands, boyfriends, lovers.

            And there was one woman walking slowly down the sidewalk all alone, arms laden with the fruits of a long day of shopping.  She was not a thin woman; she was quite heavy, in fact, full and round, softly curved and womanly, but she floated along the sidewalk as if she weighed nothing at all.  She moved confidently through the crowds with a smile on her face, nodding or waving at any whose eyes she caught along the way.

            But the smile wasn’t quite reflected in her eyes.  And if anyone had really looked at her, had stopped to talk and looked into her eyes instead of flitting past with a quick hello, that person would have seen tears there, unhappiness, loneliness.  And that person would also have seen her taking her cell phone from her pocket every three or four minutes and studying it carefully, then replacing it with a sigh.  Carole was happy that no one took the time to really look.  It let her hold on to the illusion a little while longer.

            Her phone was supposed to be ringing, had been supposed to ring two hours ago, when Michael was finished with work for the day.  No such luck.  Apparently Carole had been stood up and their first in-person meeting was not to be.

            She dodged across the busy Chicago sidewalk and ducked into a clothing shop decorated with sparkling white lights, red velvet bows, and faintly scented pine cones.  She went through the doorway just to avoid all the people outside who were holding hands and walking arm in arm and obviously succeeding where she had failed, but as she did she narrowly missed a couple who had stopped to share a lingering kiss under the mistletoe that hung above the door.  Tears rushed into her eyes and she swatted them away with one green mitten.

            At least she’d gotten to come into the city for the day, finish most of her Christmas shopping.  She supposed there was always an upside, even to the bleakest of situations.  Carole took her phone from her pocket once more.  Over two hours since he had gotten out of work.  Even if he had run home after, or stopped to do some shopping, he should have called by now.  Her shoulders slumped as she stopped in front of a jewelry display near the cash register and pretended to study the gleaming gold and silver necklaces and rings inside.

            Her attention was really drawn, however, to a man and a woman who were standing shoulder to shoulder in front of a rack of soft pastel sweaters.  The woman gently rubbed her fingers over one of the sweaters then took the sleeve in her hand, looked down at the price tag, sighed, turned away.  The man, who had been silently watching her, put one arm around her shoulders and bent his head to softly nuzzle her cheek.  She smiled and tilted her head to kiss him.  When she did, the man reached his free arm out and removed a sweater from the rack, holding it close to his side out of her sight.  And when they made their way to the cash register, he swiftly took the items the woman was holding and deposited them on the counter with the sweater at the bottom of the pile.  He directed the woman’s attention to the opposite side of the jewelry display Carole was watching them through as he handed the cashier a credit card and motioned for her to put the sweater quickly into a bag.

            Carole backed away from the woman’s face, maybe two feet away from her through the glass case.  The only thing worse than being all alone and enviously watching a couple in love was to be caught doing so, and to be pitied.  She approached the rack of sweaters cautiously.  She wanted to feel their softness for herself, but she could almost hear the cashier’s thoughts: What are you doing here?  Can’t you see we don’t have anything here in your size?  Those sweaters won’t fit you!

            Carole hurried away from the sweaters and quickly left the store.  She stood waiting at the bus stop on the corner, wondering why happy things like people in love seemed so much happier at Christmastime, and why loneliness seemed so much lonelier. 

            It began to snow large, sparkling flakes as she got on the bus.  It was dark now, and the city buildings, all lit up with Christmas lights and glowing through the snow, were so beautiful that it almost hurt to look at them.  And when she got off the bus at the train station, Carole stopped outside for a few minutes to feel the snowflakes tickling her skin as they landed on her face.  The snow seemed to hush all the sounds of the city.  The peaceful moment of magical silence gave Carole one last flash of hope and she looked at her cell phone one more time to be sure she hadn’t missed Michael’s call.  She even flipped open the phone to check her missed calls list, just to be sure.  He hadn’t called, though, so she forced herself to accept that he wasn’t going to and went inside to wait for her train.  A glance at her schedule told her that the next train wasn’t coming in for a little over an hour, so she settled onto a bench in the corner.

            She didn’t notice that she had nodded off until she woke with a start.  Her immediate reaction was to check the time and make sure she hadn’t missed her train, but before she could find a clock, she noticed a man sitting on the bench next to her.  The most beautiful man in the world, with pale skin and dark curls and almost translucent blue eyes.  He was well-dressed and appeared perfect in every single way; it almost took her breath away to look at him.  She couldn’t stop looking at him, though.  Which probably explained why he decided to speak to her.  It didn’t explain, however, the words that he said.

            “Hello, Beautiful.”

            “Uh—hey—hi,” Carole stammered, sure that she must still be sleeping, dreaming.  Beautiful?  Why would this perfect angel of a man think she was beautiful?  Who was he?  She struggled to shrug off the cloudiness of sleep in the hopes that it was the source of her confusion, that everything would make sense in a few minutes when she was more awake.  She looked around the train station—the train!  What time was it?  She spun her head around wildly, looking for a clock.

            “Don’t worry about the train.  You’ll be fine.  You need to spend some time with me.  I have some things to share with you.”

            “But—my train—who are you?”

            “Well, that is rather difficult to explain.  Can I be completely honest with you?”

            “Uh, yeah.  Sure.”  Carole touched her leg and wiggled her toes, trying to determine if she actually was awake yet.

            “Alright, good.  I’m a ghost.”

            “A what?”

            “A ghost.  The Ghost of Relationships Past, to be more exact.”

            “Oh, okay.  Right.  What is this, ‘A Christmas Carol’ or something?”

            “Actually, yes.  Very similar.  I’m glad you’re familiar with the story.  It will help you understand this all a little better.”

            “Okay.  Yeah.  So say I did decide to believe you instead of screaming for help.  What are you going to do, drag me around to look at all my past relationships and show me how stupid I was?”

            “Exactly.  Although I would never use the word stupid, and I think the things I point out to you will not be the things you would expect me to.”  He rose and walked a few steps, then turned to see if Carole was following.  She shrugged her shoulders, gathered her shopping bags, and stood.

            “You can leave those here.  Your body is still here sleeping.  No one can see the part of you that is coming with me.”

            “Okay—” Carole hesitated, uncertain.  She figured either that either she was dreaming, this guy who claimed to be the Ghost of Relationships Past was nuts, or she, herself, was nuts.  Something, some voice or feeling inside of her, though, made her want to trust him.  She left her bags under the bench, where her body did indeed appear to be sleeping.  Seeing herself from the outside that way made a chill run up and down her spine, but something made her turn and follow him anyway.

            When they left the building, the air flew out of Carole’s lungs all at once.  They weren’t standing on Canal Street, where she thought they’d be, at all.  Not even close.  Instead, they were on a quiet street in the town she had grown up in.  She hadn’t see the street in years, but she recognized it immediately.

            “How’d you do that?” she asked.  “How did we get from there to here, just by walking out the door?”

            “I told you I was a ghost.  It comes with the territory.  Especially if you’re a Dickens-style ghost.”

            They walked down the street side by side.  It was dark out, and Carole could hear children’s voices in the distance.  They turned a corner and came upon a group of children.  There were five of them: a thin blonde girl who Carole recognized as her best friend Monica from the seventh grade, Monica’s little sister and one of her friends, a tall, broad-shouldered, blonde-haired boy who looked a little older than the rest, and Carole herself, chubby and smiling broadly.

            The children ran laughing down the sidewalk until they turned onto the sidewalk in front of an old gray house that appeared to be falling apart in various places.  As soon as she saw it, Carole remembered who the blonde-haired boy was.  Her middle school boyfriend, her first one ever.  James. 

            As the watched, the children ran around the back of the house, unaware that anyone was following them.  Because we’re invisible, Carole reminded herself.  She and the ghost rounded the house just in time to see Monica and the two younger girls sliding a board across the door of the shed.  She and James were nowhere to be seen.

            “I know where we are.  We’re in the shed.  They locked us inside as a joke, because they knew he liked me.”

            “And did you like him?”

            “Well, of course I did.  I ended up dating him—okay, no.  I really didn’t.  I was just so excited that a boy liked me that I said yes when he asked me.  But he wet the bed at night and came to school without showering, and he wasn’t all that bright, wasn’t interested in the same things as me… I didn’t really like him that much at all.  In fact, when he broke up with me, I laughed at him.  Didn’t mean to, just couldn’t help it.”

            “That doesn’t seem like a very good relationship.”

            “Well, we were in the seventh grade.  I don’t suppose any are then.”

            “Just think about it.  Now let’s move on.”

            They walked out of the yard through the alley and when they turned onto the street, their location had once again changed.

            They were now in another neighborhood that Carole recognized easily.  It was the neighborhood that her close friend Stacie had lived in until just a few years ago.  Carole herself had lived just down the street, but it was her friend’s house they were approaching.  There was snow on the ground in which they left no footprints, and there were white lights and red paper hearts in the windows of the house.  Valentine’s Day, thought Carole.  The flickering blue light of the television played over them as they approached the window.

            Inside the house, Stacie and her husband were on the couch and their young children on the floor.  Across the room, Carole was on the love seat.  There was a man sitting next to her, arm draped over the back of her shoulders and head resting practically on her chest.  That was when she had, briefly, been dating a man named Colin, who was from Maine.  They had met online and he had come to visit her for a week.  Carole cringed at what she was sure she was going to see.

And she saw just what she had expected.  Carole—not ghost-Carole, outside the house, but real Carole, from three or four years ago, inside the house—was staring intently at the television, which prevented her from seeing exactly what Colin.  First, as he alternately watched TV and stared at Carole’s chest, he absent-mindedly lifted his hand and rubbed his nose.  And then he actually slipped his finger into his nose.  And then into his mouth.  Ghost-Carole shuddered as she saw Stacie and her husband stare at him in horror while she, herself, remained obliviously glued to the movie that was on.

“Ugh, I can’t believe I dated him.  What’s wrong with me?” Carole mumbled, almost to herself.

“Well, you broke up with him after that, though, right?  After you realized he wasn’t right for you?”

“I broke up with him.”  Carole paused.  “Okay, but not right away.  I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.  I didn’t want to hurt him.  And I didn’t want to be alone, either.”

“Why did you date him in the first place?  You had to have some idea that he wasn’t the one for you.”

“Why?  I don’t know—because he asked me to.”

“I see.”

“What do you mean, you see?  It wasn’t my fault.  There just wasn’t anyone else there, and he was.  I’m not the type of person who can just go around turning guys down.  I don’t get that many chances and I can’t risk bad karma.”

“Let’s go look at one more thing.  Then I’ll leave you alone.”

He stepped away from the window and, once again, Carole followed.  This time, when they magically changed locations—Carole still couldn’t quite comprehend how that was even possible—they were inside of a building.  The hallway they stood in was flanked on either side by matching rows of identical doors.  It was an apartment complex.  And again, she knew exactly where she was.  It was her ex-boyfriend Craig’s building, and a few seconds later, they were standing in his kitchen.  Craig and Carole were sitting on the couch watching television.  Carole recognized what they were watching as a sitcom by the laugh track coming from the television speakers.

The two of them were laughing, but Carole looked distracted.  Again, she knew what was coming, and again she cringed.

“Craig?  Babe?” she was saying.

“Yeah?” he asked.

“I think we need to talk about something.”

“’Kay.  Talk.”

“No, I mean, really talk.  You need to listen.”

“I’m watchin’ TV.  Lemme alone.”

“No, I won’t!”

Carole was surprised at the strength of her voice.  She didn’t remember that she had ever been that forceful; she only remembered doing whatever she felt like he wanted her to, up until she had been so desperate that she couldn’t anymore.  She definitely remembered the desperation.  That desperation must be what had created her sudden assertiveness.

“Awright, whaddya want?”

“I think that—that maybe we aren’t right for each other.  I think you want someone who is different from me, and you should be able to have that.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“You know what I mean.  You’re always talking about all the other girls that want to be with you, and how hot they are.  What are you doing with me?  You don’t want me.”

“That’s just ‘cause you’re so fat.  I like your hugs, though.”

Carole watched herself struggle to hold back tears.

“O-okay.  But you should be with someone you like every part of.  And I should be with someone who likes me the way I am.”

Her voice dropped so low at the last sentence that Craig didn’t hear it.  She cleared her throat and squared her shoulders before she spoke again.

“If that’s the way you feel, I think we should break up.”

“No.  I don’t want to.”

“We need to.”

“Can we try again?”

“Try again?  We haven’t even finished breaking up yet!  I don’t understand why you care.  You never act like you care about me at all.”

“But no one else wants me.”

“You only like me because you can’t do any better than me?  Craig, I can’t even believe you just said that.”

“Well, yeah, I like skinnier girls.  Like the one in that poster.”  He pointed to a poster of a swimsuit model on his living room wall.  “But that’s okay.  You might lose weight.  You work out sometimes.”

Now ghost-Carole felt her eyes tearing up, just as real-Carole’s were.  She remembered how much she had hurt at that moment, how she had felt like something inside of her was going to explode with anger and pain and sadness and fear.  She watched herself stand up.

“I’m leaving.  We’re done.  Like or don’t like me, but make up your mind how you feel and feel it all the way.”  She put on her coat and walked out the door.  Ghost-Carole was sure that they would follow, but they stayed where they were.  Craig got up from his place on the couch.  Carole hoped that he would have tears in his eyes or go punch a wall or something, anything to show that he had been anywhere near as upset as she had been.  All he did, though, was pour himself a glass of milk from the refrigerator, stop at his computer to send an instant message, and re-settle himself in front of the TV, remote control in hand.  He didn’t look upset in the least.

“Damn him!  When I left there that night, I was so depressed all I wanted to do was die!  And all he did was keep watching the stupid television.  I kept wondering if the things he said, about liking my hugs and not being able to get anyone better, were his way of saying he really cared.  When I talked to him a couple days later, he wanted to get back together and made it sound like he was all broken-hearted, and I felt so sorry for him.”

“And did you get back together with him?”

“Yes.”  Carole felt her cheeks flush and wondered for just a second if it showed on her ghost self.  Then she looked at the Ghost of Relationships Past again.  “I did.  I felt sorry for him, because he couldn’t get anyone else.  And I felt sorry for me, because I couldn’t get anyone else, either.”

“So, let’s see.  James, Colin, Craig—you dated all of them for the same reason.”

“Not really.  I dated James because he asked me to and I figured no one else would.  My friend’s little sister even told me I should, because no one else would ever want me.”

“And why did you date Colin?”

“Well, I didn’t know him that well.  He seemed like a nice enough guy at first, and I wanted to give him a chance.”

“So you really weren’t attracted to him, either, then?”

Carole flushed again.

“No.  No really,” she said quietly.

“And Craig?”

“Yeah, I hear ya.  I was only trying to give him a chance, too.  But it was because I had so few chances.  It wasn’t just about him.”

“Let’s get you back to the train station.  I think you have enough to think about for one night.”

They walked through the door of the apartment and back into the train station.  The first thing Carole noticed was herself, still sleeping, on the bench.  She looked at the clock.  Only five minutes had passed since she had settled herself there.  Apparently they were timeless as well as invisible.  And it still made her a little weak-kneed to be watching herself from the outside.  She turned to her ghostly escort.

“So that was it?  I get to look at all the losers I’ve dated, realize that I was just as much of a loser, and now we’re done?”

“I was showing you what has been.  You have yet to see what is, and what may be.”  And then he was gone. 

“But wait—how do I—get—my body?”  Carole shut her eyes tightly, hoping he would be standing in front of her again when she opened them.  Instead, when she opened them again, she was looking out from her physical body again, seated on the bench.  She looked around for the man, the ghost, but he was nowhere to be seen.  Had it been a dream?  It hadn’t seemed like it.  She glanced at the ground near her shoes for evidence that she had recently been walking through city streets and snowy yards, but there was nothing.  And the clock said that she still had almost an hour before her train arrived; she’d hardly been there for any time at all.  Confused, she leaned her head back against the bench and closed her eyes once more.

Seconds later, movement next to her made her open them again.  There was a gray-haired man sitting next to her.  He was looking in the opposite direction.  Carole’s first instinct was to get up and run.  She was fairly certain that the other man had been nothing more than a weird dream, but she wasn’t quite ready to take any chances on that.  Her dream had left her feeling hollow and depressed, and she didn’t think she wanted to take on whatever might come next.  Because she was just the tiniest bit afraid that it hadn’t been a dream. 

She wished as hard as she could that she would hear an announcement over the loudspeaker that her train had arrived early, so she could go settle safely into a seat and get away from the man, who had now turned to look at her.

“Well, hello,” he said.

“Hey,” Carole replied dully.  Sleepiness and confusion were impairing the part of her that censored her words and she found herself saying, “I suppose you’re the Ghost of Relationships Present?”

“You catch on quickly, my dear.  That I am.”  While the first ghost—or dream, or whatever—had been about her age and treated her almost as though he were himself a man who might be interested in her, this man was older and spoke in a more distinguished manner, almost as if a father figure.  Carole wondered if that was significant, or if each ghost was randomly selected for his particular job.  Man.  Dream.  Not ghost.  It had to have been a dream, which would make this another dream.

“Are you ready to come with me?”

“Not really.”

“I see your meeting with my friend has left you a little out of sorts.  That happens often.  It is tiring to be led out of your body and then allowed back in, and the things you see can be emotionally draining.  I am just going to show you a few things and then I will bring you back here and let you sleep.”  He rose and began to walk away from the bench.  Carole reluctantly got up and followed him.

Just as she anticipated, they left the train station and entered a neighborhood that was most definitely not supposed to be outside of it.  This time, however, it was a neighborhood that she did not recognize.  The houses were large and old, but in a grand and beautiful way.  Many of them had been made into apartments, she guessed, by the number of cars parked in the driveways.  She also guessed that this time they had not changed the time in which they existed, only their place, because the snow was exactly the same as it had been outside of the train station, and the cars she could see were current models.

She followed behind the ghost as he walked along the sidewalk, having to desire to walk beside him.  If they walked together, they might also talk, and she felt as if she had already heard quite enough, was afraid of what else she might learn.  They turned a corner and continued to walk.  Because she was trying not to think about anything important, Carole occupied herself with wondering why she they were walking so far.  It seemed as if these ghosts could come and go wherever and whenever they pleased, but she was still so sure that the situation was pure fiction that she imagined maybe they were walking so that when someone made the whole thing into a movie, they would have a chance to show off all the beautiful Christmas lights that were in the neighborhood.  She was looking at the lights so intently, in fact, that she almost ran in the Ghost of Relationships Present when he stopped.  He was in the yard of a large brick house.  Swiftly, he put an arm around Carole and they were both suddenly standing on the porch roof looking into a window.

They were looking into a man’s kitchen.  The man was inside the kitchen, sitting at the table with a laptop computer.  Like the neighborhood, he was strange to Carole.

“Who is he?” she asked.

“Look at his computer screen.  Here.”  And a second later, they were standing inside of his apartment.  Carole’s stomach felt a little queasy from the sudden switch, but she managed to push the nausea back. 

“I thought that you were supposed to be the Ghost of Relationships Present.  I don’t even know that guy.  I think you made a mistake.”

“No, my dear.  I am the Ghost of Relationships Present, but ‘ghost’ is the most important word.  I am showing you the ghosts, the shadows, of relationships that could be yours.  Look at his computer screen.”

Carole obeyed.  The man was looking at the website belonging to the company Carole worked for.  Specifically, he was looking at her picture and profile.

“I don’t get it.  Why is he looking at me?”

“Because he likes you.  He worked with your supervisor for a few weeks over the summer, and he noticed you then.  He e-mailed you once, while he was there, but you read it and deleted it.  I believe your exact words to Stacie were, ‘Some freak e-mailed me at work today and asked if I wanted to get together sometime.’”


“And then later in the conversation, you mentioned how sad you were, how depressing it was that you couldn’t find any men who were interested in you.”

“Oh.  Well, I mean, there really aren’t.”

“This man was.  He e-mailed you.  You did not respond.  And now, four months later, he is still looking at your picture and wondering about you.”

“Well, no one close to me.  And he never even really met me in person, so how can he know he likes me?”

“That’s what dating is for, my dear.  Come.  It is time to go.”

Before Carole could even answer him, they had reappeared in the living room of a completely different house.  This one, Carole recognized.  It was the home of her boss, Marie, which confused her.  Marie was a fifty-something silver-haired woman with two married sons.  What did she have to do with Carole’s relationships?

Just as the she was beginning to wonder, Carole noticed that there were other people there, too.  Other people from work.  Carole remembered an e-mail going around about a get-together at Marie’s house, but she hadn’t paid attention because she had already set her date with Michael by the time it was announced.

Carole and the ghost approached a group of people who were deep in discussion.

“You think you have it bad?  I drew Carole for the Secret Santa exchange.  How do I know what I’m supposed to get her?” one woman was saying.

“Oh, I feel your pain,” another woman responded.  “She never talks to anyone or anything, how could you know what she might like.”

“You could get her a screwdriver,” suggested a man.  “Or one of those jar lid gripper things, maybe.  Because she could sure use to loosen up a little.”  The group broke into laughter.  “She’s pretty stuck up, isn’t she?  the man continued.  “She never talks to anyone, and if you try and talk to her or even walk up to her when it’s not work-related, she gets that look on her face.  It’s almost enough to scare you away.  I don’t know what we ever did to her, but she hates us all.”  He finished talking and tipped his wine glass to his lips.  Carole looked at the ghost.

“No!  That’s not me.  I don’t hate anyone. and I’m not stuck up at all!  It’s them.  They don’t like me.  No one ever talks to me or invites me anywhere.  I just started avoiding them because I don’t want them to feel like they have to try and be nice to me.  I figured it would save us all a lot of trouble if I just stayed out of the way.”

“Perhaps you didn’t take your cues from them at all.  Perhaps you didn’t give them a chance to give you any cues and just assumed they would have a particular set of perceptions about you.”

“Well, of course I did.  People always have perceptions about me when they meet me.  I am fat, so I am obviously lazy, and probably dirty, and chances are I’m hungry all the time, too, and of course, I’m single, because fat people always are.  I know what people think of me, I’m not stupid.”

“Or maybe you’re only projecting your own opinions or perceptions onto them.  But let’s not discuss this any more right now.  We have one more stop before I can bring you back.  Come.”

And again they were gone from one place and entering another before Carole had time to draw a breath.  They were in a basement apartment this time, and the only occupant of the room they were in was a man lying on a bed, fully dressed.  He was staring at the TV but didn’t appear to be seeing what was on the screen.

As they walked around to the opposite side of the bed, Carole suddenly recognized him.  It was Michael!  While they watched, he lifted his phone, looked at its screen, and placed it back on the bed.  He sighed, put his hands behind his head, and closed his eyes.

“What’s he doing?  What am I supposed to be getting out of this?  The man I was supposed to be out with right now is lying home on his bed, alone.  I don’t see how this is going to help me.”

“Oh, but I am going to tell you more.  See, today when he got off of work, he was going to call you.  But then he lost the courage.  He came home instead and spent some time looking at the picture you sent him.  He was mainly trying to figure out why someone young and attractive like you would want to meet an old guy like him, and he just didn’t feel like dealing with it.  The truth is, he just lost the courage.”

“But why?  I never said anything to make him think that way.  In fact, I really like him, what I know of him so far.  And he should have gotten my voicemail by now, asking him to call me.”

“He did.  And he can’t decide if you actually went home, or if you were just blowing him off.  He decided to wait and see, that if it was really important to you, you would call him again before you left.  He didn’t want to be the one to make the move, just in case you had changed your mind about him, you see.”  Carole looked at the ghost in disbelief.

“But—I was the one who was afraid.  What does he have to be afraid of?  I’m just me.  I’ll give anyone a chance, and I already know I like him.”

“We all have our own fears.  They are what make us human.  We must hurry now.”  And again, they disappeared.  Carole felt her head droop and snapped it up before she was caught sleeping.  She was once again on the train station bench.

Another psychotic dream.  She must have been watching too many old Christmas movies, or been drinking something that was spiked.  What a night.  She closed her eyes and rested her head against the wall.  And felt a flurry of motion next to her.  Sighing, she spoke without opening her eyes.

“Let me guess—the Ghost of Relationships Future.  And tell me, why do you all have to invert your adjectives?  What’s wrong with just the ‘Ghost of Future Relationships’?”  There was a pause, and then some nervous laughter.  Carole supposed there was possibility that it was a real person this time; if so, she must sound like she was doing a lot of drugs.  She lifted her head and squinted her eyes open.  Just as she did, though, a wobbly old voice answered her.  It was coming from a wobbly old man.

“Night’s been wearin’ on ya, I reckon.  I don’t know why they name us what they do, never thought to ask.”

“Aren’t you a little old to be the Ghost of Relationships Future, anyway?  They seem to have mixed something up.”

“Depends who’s been workin’ at it longest, I s’pose.  I been doin’ it since I don’t right remember when.  I was in the first ‘Christmas Carol’ movie they ever gone an’ made, in fact.  I ‘member, back in—”

“Can we just get this over with?” Carole interrupted him.  He seemed as though he were settling down to tell a long story, and she just wanted to get finished.  If her dream or whatever was following the whole Scrooge theme, then this guy should be the last ghost.

“Oh, ‘course.”

Carole stood up and started walking toward the door.

“Wait up!  I ain’t as fast as I used to be.  And I gotta go through first, or it won’t work.  You’ll jus’ be standin’ on Canal Street.”

The stooped little man caught up to her and she let him take the lead.  She hoped he was just going to have them show up wherever they needed to be, because of they had to walk, it was going to be a long night.  Relief flooded her when they stepped out of the train station and into a living room.

There was no one in the room.  And Carole could see why.  It didn’t seem a very pleasant room to be in.  There were dirty dishes stacked on the coffee tables, dirty clothes on the floor, dirty curtains hanging from the windows.  In front of the couch, there was a pile of used Kleenex.

“Whose house is this?”

“Yers, m’dear.”

“It can’t be.  I’d never let my house get this way.”

“Keep watchin’.”

Soon, a woman walked into the room.  She was wearing dingy-looking sweatpants and a stained t-shirt.  When she turned to face them, Carole saw that the woman, although ten years older and probably fifty pounds heavier, was definitely herself.  Her eyes were red and her face streaked with tears.

“What’s wrong with me?  What happened to make me so depressed?” she asked the ghost in a whisper.

“Weren’t jus’ one thing.  ‘Twas lots o’ things, over time.  Ya do this a lot, ya know.”

“Not a lot.  Sometimes, I do.  I get lonely.  But it never lasts very long, and it doesn’t seem like it’s this bad.”

“I mean in the future, girl.  Ya get this way a lotta times.  Two er three times a week.  All ya gotta do is see someone walkin’ ‘n holdin’ hands, er see a love movie, er even hear the word love, and yer all upset and ya can’t even function.”

Carole watched her future self go to the couch and cover herself with a bedraggled blanket.  She flipped through channels for a few minutes before she settled on something.  Seconds later, the show faded to a commercial in which a man and a woman were lying in bed.  As it did, tears filled the future Carole’s eyes and she used a wad of Kleenex to soak them up.

“That’s pathetic!  Did someone just break up with me or something?”

“Nope.  Ya never let anyone get ta know ya, how could they?  Ever’one that tries ta make nice with ya, ya push ‘em away.  All ‘cause ya see yerself sittin’ here on nights like this and can’t figger out why they like ya.  And I’m sure I could find someone else ta take ya ta see, someone who’s wishin’ ya weren’t so pigheaded and standoffish, but I think ya’ve seen enough.  I ain’t like them other two knuckleheads they sent ta see ya tonight.  I tell it like it is.  Yer stupid if ya think ya can jus’ sit aroun’ feelin’ sorry fer yerself and someone’s gonna come ‘n force ya ta see the light.  Ya gotta get out and ‘n out ‘n do somethin’, reach out a little.”

“Is this—is this how it is?  End of story?  Like, ten years from now, I’m going to be sitting home alone crying every night and not have anyone in my life at all, ever?”

“Ain’t gotta be.  It’s up to you.”

And with those words, the scene in front of Carole, and the Ghost of Relationships Future himself, disappeared.  She was once again sitting on the bench in the train station.  A glance at the clock told her that it was finally late enough to board the train.  Looking around cautiously to see if there were any signs of her three visitors, Carole gathered her shopping bags.  She made her way to the train that would take her back home and got into the first car with an open seat.  The train was just as crowded with Christmas shoppers as the city had been, even this late at night, and the seats were filling up fast.  She placed her bags on the seat next to her in the hopes that no one would sit there.  She always felt as though she took up too much space on the seat, and wondered why anyone was stupid enough to sit next to her.  As the car filled, though, and she saw the conductor coming, she picked the bags up and arranged them on her lap.  The conductor was sure to ask her to anyway.

She took her iPod from her pocket, slipped the earbuds into her ears, and turned it on.  She wanted to block out the noise of the train and rethink everything she’d seen—or dreamed—that night.  It was a lot to process.  All the losers she’d dated—she knew that part was true enough.  And the ones she was missing out on?  She wasn’t so sure about those ones; it was hard for her to imagine that there were people out there who liked her that she didn’t even know about, and even harder to imagine that the only reason she didn’t know about it was that she, herself, was pushing them away.  She’d always thought she was open to anything, and assumed that she came across that way.  And the last scene, herself, aged to depression, she didn’t even want to think about.  The dream was still too new for her to be able to get it into any manageable set of ideas and put her finger on what it meant; thoughts were swirling around in her mind the same way the snow was swirling around the train window, with no solid place to land.

The train started moving as Carole watched the swirling snow.  She was just getting ready to place her bags back on the seat, thankful that no one had come to sit with her, when she heard the car door open and footsteps approaching, then felt someone drop into her seat.  She carefully avoided looking at whoever it was and pulled her arms more tightly against her body, pressed her legs together, huddled into the window.  It was horrible to sit in a train seat pressed up against a stranger, almost hearing that stranger thinking about how unfair it was that they got stuck sitting with the fattest person on the train.  Carole’s only defense was to stare out the window at the snow and pretend she was somewhere else.

But that was not meant to happen.

“Hello, how are you?” asked a man’s voice.

Carole’s first instinct was to shrug her shoulders and mumble something unintelligible without even looking at him.  She didn’t want him to feel as if he had to talk to her.

But he had already talked to her.  No one had made him.  And besides, whether the ghosts she had seen were dreams or real, wasn’t there point to make her change?  Carole suddenly had the thought that whether or not people hated her on sight, if she treated them as if they did, it was all the same.  If she kept treating them that way, never letting them do anything but hate her, she really would be the lonely woman she had seen in the messy living room. 

But if she didn’t treat them that way, maybe things could be different.

It was hard.  But if nothing else, the man was trying to be friendly.  And friendly is good.  It isn’t scary.  No more pushing people away, mistrusting them without even knowing what their intentions were.  Carole drew in a breath.

“Not too bad.  It’s been a long day.  You?”

“Pretty good.  Just stuck around to do some shopping after work.”

And they lapsed into a comfortable conversation, an easy give and take.  He wasn’t a freak who had no one better to talk to.  He wasn’t some guy that only wanted to find a fat girl to fulfill some sexual fantasy.  He wasn’t someone who’s goal was to humiliate her.  He was just a guy that was being friendly, and Carole was enjoying him.  Ghosts were useful sometimes.

When he stood up at his stop, he handed Carole a business card.

“It’s been good talking to you.  Give me a call sometime if you feel like it.  Maybe we could hang out or something.”

As he walked away, Carole smiled for the first time since five o’clock, when Michael hadn’t called.  The opening strains of Joy To The World played on Carole’s iPod.


Thanks for reading

From the Plus Side with Emily Smiltneck


Emily's Cool Links

Why, OH Why


Diabolique Belle

     Why, OH Why will be column dedicated to all the experiences Plus Sized people go through that make you want to say WHY OH WHY does this have to be.  Part vent, part inspiration this column will surely be one that readers will related to. Diabolique Belle was chosen for this position because of her flare for telling it like it is and turning it around for the better. 


     Diabolique Belle originates from Brooklyn, NY. She is a computer specialist who passionately loves making toiletries and designing gift baskets. She is capricious and dynamically outgoing and loves to say what she means and she means what she says. Diabolique is currently working on several entrepreneurial endeavors, including taking her toiletry hobby to a professional level and transitioning her writing hobby into an erotic mystery novel series.



Biting the Holiday Bug Back!


The holiday seasons are a very emotional time, especially for people of size.

     For some of us, it is a time of loneliness, filled with isolation and depression built from reminders of the lack in their life. Some use this time to analyze and agonize about personal dysfunctions and failures.  They critique past relationships and interactions and wrestle over what they could have, would have, and should have done; wishing they had just one more chance to do things differently. Maybe this time, it will work out right. Maybe this time…


     For some of us, it is a time of celebration, a time for family gatherings, merriment and cooking.  Laughing and Joking.  Cooking and eating. This could be, and most times, is a very dangerous period for us.  The holidays are another opportunity for us to put on massive, unwanted, and more importantly, unneeded pounds.  The tendency to gently or sometimes swiftly lay diets/behavior modifications aside for the sheer joy of the holidays is a common and hazardous trend.  Some willingly indulge in gluttony with the thought of making up for it when the holidays pass. This mindset is dangerous for reasons that we all know too well.  We never make up for it.  We never undo the damage that we induce over the holiday spreads.  No amount of dieting or meal skipping will make amends for the gluttony we indulge nor will it counteract the feelings of guilt and self-betrayal. 


     The end of the year is traditionally the time of giving and reflecting.  Now, I find it interesting that those two actions would be combined together.  Each month has its individual theme to it. January is a time to start fresh. February is a time for African Americans to reflect, discover, embrace and rejoice in their roots and a time for love. March is a time for the Irish to celebrate their culture. April is a time to acknowledge the sacrifice made for sin.  The list goes on and on. But consider it. December brings Christmas Day and New Years Eve. 


     Christmas is the chance to exchange gifts with family and friends. I am not going to get on my soap box about how the value of Christmas has been lost in a world of materialism.  No, as painful as it is for me, I am not going to go there.


     New Year’s Eve is the time to review the past year and make determinations and “resolutions” to do things better next time. New Year’s Eve is the time we deeply agonize over all the diets we’ve started and stopped.  All the exercise regimens we’ve committed ourselves to in vain.  New Year’s Eve is the time we abuse ourselves over our inability to stay focused and our lack of self-control. 


     Why do we do this?  Why do we wait until the end of the year to contemplate about decisions that cannot be altered?  Because most of us make “resolutions” instead of “plans”, therefore ensuring that the same mindsets and patterns will continue in the upcoming year. Why do we accept so little of ourselves during the moments where it counts the most?  When you are standing there with that second helping that you know you don’t need…why don’t you/I/we make the right decision when it counts, instead of allowing ourselves to repeat the same course of action that had lead us to where we are now?


     I hear many people questioning ‘how’.  How do you go against the pattern of familiarity that has become your security blanket?  Food is not judgmental. Food is accepting.  Food is comforting.  Food is always available.  Food always needs you.  Food understands your issues.  Food never has unrealistic expectations for you.  Food never laughs at your mistakes.  Food never requires too much.  Food will never leave you.  Food will never lie to you.  Food will never…


     Wait!  What are we really talking about here?  How and why have we let an instrument whose sole purpose is to maintain substance become a failsafe for life’s disappointments?  Why have we decided to take the easy way out instead of dealing with the issues in our lives? 


Well, let’s examine the facts.


     We have been programmed to misuse food from youth.  A lot of children are taught not to waste food.  They are instructed to finish all of the food on their plates regardless of their level of contentment.  Waste not, want not is the old tutelage.  Why is this done?  Most of us don’t even know.  If you asked your parents, most of them will chime that is the same lesson that they were instilled with.  Now, I understand the concept of the lesson.  Don’t waste something and then when you don’t have it, want it.  But is food really the correct vessel to use?


     We misuse food so frequently and without question.  Overindulgence is as common and as acceptable as anything else.  Think about it for a moment.  In love with me, buy me something to eat (chocolates).  Celebrating another year of life, have something to eat (birthday cake). Promotion at work, have something to eat (celebratory luncheon). Someone die or sharing with the world the bond they are taking with each other, have something to eat (reception).    I hear a few of you challenging the rationale behind my statement.  “How else are we supposed to celebrate or console someone?”  So because we couldn’t think of anything else…we eat.  Then we wonder where the foundation of misusing food comes from. 


So, why is it acceptable in some instances and not in others?  When is it alright?  Who has approval to misuse it? 


But I digress….


     So let’s delve into the real issue.  How does one begin the process of deprogramming?  These fundamentals were instilled within you since before you can remember.  It requires a whole lot of commitment and work.  But then, we’re overweight because of a lack of commitment and work, aren’t we? Hmm, it is often easier to continue the same patterns then it is to challenge ourselves.  It is easier to live with failure and discontentment, because anything else would be new and scary.  Anything new would challenge who we are and what we are made of.  Heaven forbid we should be expected to diligently work at something for ourselves.  It is easier to expect that one day it’s going to fix itself.  That way if it doesn’t work, we haven’t wasted our time.  We haven’t unraveled our tightly knit world for false securities and self destructive behavior. No, we wouldn’t want that now, would we?


     So then, why continue to pretend to want things that we really don’t want?  Why ask for things that you are not ready for?  Why ask for things that you are not willing to fight for?  Why set yourself up to be in the same predicament?  Why set yourself for failure? Why doom yourself from the start?  Why create falsities that we know deep within ourselves are just that? 


Why, Oh Why?


     But then again, that is the nature of human beings.  To want to have $1 billion without doing $1 billion work.  I want a moist and scrumptious Thanksgiving turkey with 30 minute microwave effort.


There are certain realities that can not be ignored. 


There is no change without struggle. There is no change without sacrifice.  There is no victory without perseverance.


    People make a way to get what they really want.  They shuffle and scrap.  They rob Peter to pay Paul.  Short of selling their souls to Satan, most people will obtain things by any means necessary.  I have witnessed people lose a car in order to go on a shopping spree.  I have seen perceivably good marriages destroyed in the name of pursuing lust.  We all have seen companies and families destroyed for the want of wealth.  Yes, people go after and obtain what it is they really want. 


     The harsh and brutal reality is that if you don’t have what it is you “claim” you want, it’s because you have not set motions in action to ensure its security.  If you say you want to lose weight, what actions are you putting into effect to ensure that you will be successful?  Are you removing yourself from situations where you know you won’t be able to maintain the commitments you’ve made to yourself?  Teach yourself to say no to going to the buffet where you ALWAYS overeat.  Set REALISTIC goals for yourself.  Eliminate intimate interaction with people who are not going to support you in your struggle.  Understand that the same way you didn’t gain all that weight overnight, you are not going to lose it all overnight.  Be truthful with yourself.  If you know that you are not going to have the discipline necessary to lost 50 pounds, don’t set yourself up for failure.  Maybe you’ll have the control to lose 5 pounds.  Maybe you’ll have the control to lose 1.  Don’t get yourself wrapped up on having to “keep up with the joneses”.  You have to be realistic and stick with that will REALISTICALLY work for YOU.  Not what worked for anyone else! 


     This holiday season, I implore you to be bold and daring.  Make a decision that will change your whole life.  Make a choice that will trickle down into everything in your world.  Choose a path that will finally make the things you want obtainable.  Give yourself a real gift this year.


Get busy living or Get busy dying!


Thanks for reading

Why, OH Why with Diabolique Belle


Diabolique Cool Links 

Good 4 U Food

Recipes for Good... Healthy Food

By: Xander - The Food Dude


We Can Fly


     Over the past few years, this time of year has really changed for me.  I assume that it changes for all of us in the time that passes.  It goes from youthful enchantment to aged wisdom with awareness of joy and pains of days past.  Perhaps it’s this time of year that lends a bittersweet duality for me.  A few years ago when this feeling really started hitting me, I told my mom about it hoping for some of her wisdom.  She claimed that it sounded like I was finally ready to get married and get her some more grandchildren. My mother has a way with words you see.


     When at home for the holi­days during 2001, my mother asked me to take her shopping the day after Thanksgiving at 4:30 in the morning. I told her she would have to put a gun to my head to get me into that smoldering circle of sadistic special sales shoppers. I told her there was no way I was subjecting myself to that during any day, much less at 4:30 in the morning. At 5:00 the next morning (like I said mom has a way with words) while shopping with my mother I happen to come across a toy that was identical to one that I had when I was six years old. While it was packed and looked different­ly it was essentially the same toy: a motorized helicopter. I recalled the fun that I had received from a toy that sparked the imagination of a young boy.  I remember the missions I had flown to save someone, deliver something, or just fly.  


     During those ten minutes I read the box and became the boy of my youth. I was a boy who knew nothing of the pain and suffering of people and a world. I replaced the toy happy to know that something of my youth was seen as having value now, even if only commercially. I found my mother, she said she had to finish some of her shop­ping and she would meet me in front of the store in a few min­utes. During that time waiting I recalled the sensation of having no fear, willing to recklessly face a new day with no restraints or requirements. I remembered what it was like to fly. My mother joined me a few minutes later. I loaded up the packages, and we drove home


     She asked me if I had found anything, and I told her that some toy manufacturer was making a toy from my youth. It was inter­esting to see it now. She contin­ued to talk about what she had found for my nieces, brother and his wife. We got home; I unloaded the packages, and got some laundry done to be ready to leave the next day. Early the next morning my mother came to me and asked if she could give me a present early (I know this is really earlier, but I've always been a pushover for an early present). Of course I did the adult thing and gave her the "this is real­ly early mom, why don't you just wait". In retrospect, that had been the same thing I had said when she asked me to take her shop­ping at 4:30 in the morning.  It didn't work this time either. She brought out the present. It was the motorized helicopter. I argued, then joked looking at the box and commenting that it was for adults 25 and older. I spent four hours playing with that toy that day.


Incidentally, my grandfather got in on the action. He's a better pilot than I am. I put the toy in my room before I left. I started to leave and my mother told me that she had seen me reading the box at the store. She said when she saw me I wasn't the grown man that was her son, or the guy who is stressed about work, or the man who worries about so many things. I was her six-year-old son getting ready to fly. I had that "look". The same look I had as I powered up those D cell motors to get to another mission. I told her it still seemed a little silly for a grown man to get a toy. She said it's all right to go back to the days when we didn't worry. She saw this as a way for me to go back and remember what it was like to fly. She has a way with words, my mother.


     I think that's something we owe our children, friends and family. Not just at this time of the year, but all year long.  One of our jobs is to remind them that it's ok to go back. It's all right to feel inno­cent. It's ok to feel vulnerable and let down our guards. It's ok to rest. It's during those times when we can find the easiest way to fly.


     These are the times when our minds are alive and our souls can be at peace. They allow us our greatest advance­ments as individuals and as a society. The best part about this is that you don’t have to train or teach them to do it.  All you have to give the soul an opportunity and it will fly.  Keep in mind that this goes for you too.


      I wish you the greatest of holidays.  I hope you have peace and joy.  Until then, be well my friends.  You’ll have to excuse me for a while; I have a few more missions to fly before dinner.

Xander's Recipe of the Month

Apple Cider Chicken 'n' Dumplings

This dish is a great one for the holidays.  It combines the flavors of the holiday season with the tradition of the South.  I highly suggest serving it with apple cider to drink.  You’ll be amazed at the flavor combinations that exist between the chicken and the apple, as they are delectable and complementary flavors.  Something absolutely rib sticking for those cold December days and nights.


  • 8 chicken thighs, skin removed
  • 2 tablespoons butter or margarine
  • 1 medium red onion, chopped
  • 1 celery rib, chopped
  • 2 tablespoons minced fresh parsley
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
  • 3 cups chicken broth
  • 1 cup apple cider or apple juice
  • 2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 tablespoon baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1 tablespoon cold butter
  • 1 egg, lightly beaten
  • 2/3 cup milk


  1. In a Dutch oven, brown chicken in butter; remove and set aside. In the same pan, combine the onion, celery, parsley, salt and pepper; cook and stir until vegetables are tender. Sprinkle with flour and mix well. Add broth and cider. Bring to a boil; cook and stir for 2 minutes or until thickened. Add chicken. Cover and bake at 350 degrees F for 45-50 minutes.
  2. Increase heat to 425 degrees F. For dumplings, combine the flour, baking powder and salt in a bowl; cut in butter until crumbly. Combine the egg and milk; stir into dry ingredients just until moistened. Drop batter into 12 mounds onto hot broth. Bake, uncovered, at 425 degrees F for 10 minutes. Cover and bake 10 minutes longer or until a toothpick inserted into a dumpling comes out clean.



Thank you for Reading Good Food 4U

By Xander the Food Dude

Please send thoughts and comments to


Time to tell it like it is!


     This is an experiment in Confession, you can anonymously confess, or let everyone know something that you feel.  Every Month we will post all the confessions and you can come and view them and be inspired to make your own.


     You can send in a picture,  You can make a graphic,  You can just send in your written words.  You can do it anonymously and get something off your chest.  You can let everyone know who you are and liberate yourself.


     Hope you enjoy Confession!  Send in your own check the bottom of this page!




 I am a Plus Sized Escort, I want to do porn, but I'm scared - Sincere



I am dating a woman who is a twin,  She is the slimmer of the two and I always think about her sister who is about 40 lbs heavier during sex.  I try to feed my girl to get her to plump up but it isn't working.  Am I cheating if I think about her heavier sister during sex?  They are twins and look the same. 




I finally found the perfect man for me.  He came as a husky big guy,  this was not the package I dreamed of. 

But he is my dream guy.





I am a bbw and I have always been a hot sexy freak in the bedroom. Now that I am with the guy I want to marry I am not a freak anymore and I don't know why.  My sex life is not like it used to be but I am ok with it. 






All I want for Christmas is a Big Fat Girl in my Stocking - Jessy




Send in your own Confession,  Use the email to the Right and send in a your confession, weather it is a graphic you made (NO BIGGER THAN 5x7 92 DPI) or a picture you saw.  You can also just send in text words.  Your Confession can be Anonymous or you can tell everyone who you are.

Send in your Confession NOW!

Thanks for reading Confession

Send in your Confession to


Large In Charge Guest Spot

We want to hear and see your talents!


One of our favorite parts of the Magazine.  The Guest Spot is for our readers to submit there talents to be viewed.  We want to see all you wonderful supporters making moves of your own.  If you write poetry, short stories, commentaries, or just thoughts in general, please submit them to us.  If your a designer we want to see pictures of your clothing.   We would love to include your talents in our newsletter.  We hope you take an active part in the L.I.C. newsletter. Send in your article, poetry, comments to -

NOTE: The Opinion of the writer is not always the opinion of The Large in Charge Staff.  We support the Right to all views.  We do not Condemn or Approve writing based on our personal thoughts.  We approve writing based on if the subject is a concern for the BBW / SSBBW / BHM Community.  Thank you for your writing and please send in those articles!  - The Large in Charge Staff



Looking for new Writers for 2008



About Our Writers Search:

     LargeInCharge is looking for Volunteer Writers for our Online Magazine.  We are looking for Males and Females who wants to write about issues that concern large people.  We need people who will be dedicated to writing columns or doing an interview once a month in a timely manner.  You do not need to be a professional writer,  Good writing, and typing skills, the ability to spell check, understand grammar and have your article sent in on time is what we are looking for.


     We want to bring the voice of the people to the people.  Give them something they can related to and enjoy on a monthly basis.


    LargeInCharge is a non-profit Online magazine which is why we are asking for Volunteer's.  This is a great opportunity to brush up on your writing skills and learn different writing styles.


NOTICE:  This is not a responsibility to be taken lightly.  You must be able to hand in one article on time monthly for a period of at least 12 months.  If you wish to continue after 12 months then you may stay if your track record is good.


We are looking for writers for the following Positions.

  • Big Character Review - a writer to analyze and comment on Big characters in Movies and TV and magazines.  Either cartoon or real life actors.

  • A Big Man's World - a writer who will write about living life as a Big Man in this Society.

  • Product Review - A writer to search for and find products that are beneficial for plus sized people.

  • Make- up, Medicine and Body - External to internal make your body feel and look great!

  • Inspiration - Inspirational stories, interviews and articles on loving yourself as is.

  • My Life Before and After Gastric bypass - we are looking for a writer who will document there life before and after this controversial surgery.  Positive and Negative experiences are welcome.

  • The Erotic Phatty - Erotic stories and poetry for the Full Figured form.


Would you like to be a writer?



Interested in applying for a writers position?


     Send in the information below along with a clear photograph of yourself and one complete article at least 300 words.  Please make sure your article is matching the position your applying for.  If you are a versatile writer and applying for more than one position send in one article for each position.


     Any submissions maybe be used in the magazine as a guest article or other wise if you do not receive a position.  If you are picked for a position it will be used as a back up for your column in case of emergency.


I want to Apply for a Writers Position:


My Name is:

My email address is:

My Phone Number is:

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I am allowing LargeInCharge to use my image and article as they see fit.  By typing my name and date I understand that I agree to the above.   NAME/DATE


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Send in your Work to Appear in LargeInCharge

We love our guest writers, they help us to make LargeInCharge more personal and reader friendly place.  We bring the people words from there own peers.  If you always wanted to write but never knew what to do with your thoughts and opinions.  Send them in to us we love to feature you in our guest spot.


What type of entries do we accept?

  • Original Articles that have not been placed in publication.

  • Size Empowerment Stories

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  • Romance of Large Size

  • Poetry - at least 25 lines in length

  • Complaints about Society

  • Complaints about what is provided for Big People

  • Complaints about Health Care

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  • etc.

How to Submit my Article for review?

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Send in your stories, poems, etc. to



Ask Raqui

Ask your Questions and We will answer!

Send your question to Raqui -

NOTE: The Opinion of Raqui  is just that. I do not claim to be professional or to solve your problems.  I can however give you a real answer that may help you out.

Ask Raqui
Q:  I have been thinking about getting gastric bypass, though I feel like I would be betraying all the years I has said I was a proud bbw.
Raqui:  Getting Gastric Bypass doesn't mean you are betraying your identity as a bbw.  Chances are your never going to be completely skinny, you will just be smaller.  You have to do what you feel you need to do to be happy and healthy.  You might be doing this for health or cosmetic reasons.  Still they are your reasons.  I am pretty sure people who love you in the bbw community will understand and be happy that you are now fulfilled.  Anyone who puts you down isn't your friend.  Just make sure your getting the surgery for the right reasons.

Q:  I want to get my boyfriend who is a big guy something nice for Christmas.  What do you suggest?


Raqui: Try looking in feature for this month.  I put my top 10 picks for plus sized presents.  If nothing else try getting a nice clothing item from this site.


King Size -

Q:   I met a guy online and they want to meet me for New Years I am debating to maybe go to a bbw party.  What do you think.  I am not sure if i should bring him to one cause of all the other girls there.

Candy Apple

Raqui:  Well this is a interesting situation.  Yes he might meet you there and leave with someone else.  In that case it would be good to know you shouldn't bother with him.  Of course it would hurt your feelings.  I think that it is better to have your feelings hurt off the bat than later after you invested time into this guy.  If I were you I would also invite friends to go with you so that you can party if this guy ends up to be a no show or a butthead.  Your New years should be bright no matter what.

Q:   Hey Raqui I love the magazine.  I am a really Big SSBBW do i have a chance of being a cover model?



Raqui:  Yes that is what is great,  We want many different types and SSBBW's are included in that.  I cant guarantee you will be picked.  But you will be considered.  Many other magazines wouldn't even consider SSBBW's.



Thank you for Reading Ask Raqui

Please send thoughts, comments and questions to

Large In Charge

Fashion Furious

BBW/BHM Fashion of the Month

     We all hate how the Fashion Industry is just scratching the surface when it comes to Large Sized Fashion.  But I have found out that many clothing stores and online companies are beginning to take up the slack.  Creative BBW, SSBBW and BHM's are making there own clothing or mix matching and finding basic everyday wear and night club wear. 

     Making it affordable is what can be hard so showcase your wonderful finds here.  If your a regular shopper, sew your own clothing or a designer showcase your clothing here by submitting a picture for Fashion Furious of the month.


Fashion Furious of the Month

How to send in your Fashion Find. Send a Clear Picture as an attachment

and use the Format Below to describe your Fashion Furious picture.

Email to Raqui:

Fashion Find by: Raqui

Fashion Type: Christmas Sale

Description:  Some really nice sweaters and other items on sale this month at Lane Bryant.  Some of the nice winter shirts go up to 6xl and 7xl.


Lane Bryant - www.lanebryant




Send in your Fashion Furious Picture and Details to

Large In Charge

Product of the Month!

What is good for Big Sized Bodies


    A very important and necessary part of LargeInCharge.  Find out what is helpful for big bodies.  Keep your self straight with some of our tips and tricks. Find out what other Big Sized people use to keep themselves smelling, feeling, looking, and living a proper life.  What kind of products are allowed. Anything that deal with the body. From cleaning aids to soap, lotions, powder, healing aids etc.  anything that can help a big body!

NOTE: The Opinion of those who submit items are not professional.  They are everyday people who found something that worked for them.  We are not held responsible for there opinion - The Large in Charge Staff

Send your favorite Item to be Product of the Month - Follow format below, include a picture of product (most can be found online) and Send to

Product of the Month

About the Product

Recommender: Raqui

Name of Product: Queen Helene Mint Julep Mask

Type of Product: Skin product

Cost of Product: $3.49

Where Product can be found:
Rite aid, walgreens, k-mart etc.


The Original Mint Julep Masque

  • Helps dry up acne pimples
  • Rinses away blackheads
  • Helps shrink large pores

The original natural home treatment, developed by a dermatologist, that will actually dry up acne pimples, rinse away blackheads and even help shrink enlarged pores.

Simply apply Mint Julep Masque to your face and neck.  Within minutes it firms and hardens, as its suction action draws out waste matter from the pores.  Minutes later, rinse the masque away with warm water and a washcloth.  After the masque is removed your  skin will feel clean...refreshed and smooth.

Even for people who are fortunately free of skin problems, Mint Julep Masque is a refreshing facial treatment that relaxes tired muscles and eases tension lines on the face and neck.

No animal testing.  No animal ingredients.

Why I like this Product:
I have been using this product for years and it works very well for all skin types



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