Add LargeInCharge to your MySpace Friend List CLICK HERE

Welcome to Large In Charge Magazine           

Issue #46 - January 2008

In this Issue of L.I.C


Feature of the Month - Curvesity Curvy Awards - First Awards for the Plus Sized Community!

Cover Model of the Month -
2008 Cover Model Search and Voting for our 2007 Cover Model of the Year!

CONFESSIONS - Let It Go and Confess! Get It Off your Chest!

Raqui's Spot - New Year, New Life - Goal for 2008

Super Sized Sounds - Felix and Ultimate Power ~ SUPERSIZED SPANISHFLY LYNX

From the Plus Side - Milwaukee District/West Line ~ Emily Smiltneck

Good 4 U Food -
Jalapeno Poppers ~ Xander

Guest Spot - Searching for New Writers.  Apply to be a LargeInCharge writer!

Fashion Furious - Fashion Finds with Plus Size style. Submit a Find!

Product of the Month - Products for People of Size

Ask Raqui - Get some advice from one Big person to another.

FREE RAFFLE - Enter to win our next prize!

LICDating - LargeInCharge Personals - Dating for the Large People who are going to be in Charge of their Love Lives!


LargeInCharge Friends - The Place for Big People to make Friends and maybe MUCH MORE!

Feature of the Month

Curvesity Curvy Awards

First Awards for the Plus Sized Community!

Visit the above page to see many more

wonderful Pictures of this Event

Curversity Curvy Awards

     December 9th 2007 was a very special day for the Plus Sized Community and myself I must say.  Curvesity Entertainment had there first Annual Cuvesity Curvy Awards.  Recognition for those who are in the Plus Sized Community had finally arrived.  There are so many wonderful people who work hard in the to make it a better world for all of the Big People out there who feel they have no resources.  Now for the first time we are given some credit for the work that is done. 

     I was an honoree along with some very outstanding people who have dedicated there lives and actions toward making People of Sized feel accepted. Being honored and recognized for works done. Standing along with them at this beautiful ceremony filled me with joy.  Tears were shed, words spoken, hugs were joyful.  I met so many people who had kind words to say.  It was one of the most positive experiences I have had.

     This history making moment was hosted by Curvesity Entertainment, Belle-Noir and Phat City Ent. together they made a difference to us, and the Plus Sized Community.  I personally thank you.




                        Curvesity Team               -              Miss New York Plus America Spoke wonderfully


Honorees:  Raqui,                   Phil Moore,           Lynx Garcia,              Jness,           Gwendolyn Devoe


Models Walk the Runway

Interview with Curvesity Entertainment What is your name and where are you from originally?

Jonatheen Josephine Lee but I use my middle name Josephine. I am a first Generation American from parents of the West Indies and I reside in Queens New York


Sonia Anglin-Nelson also a first generation American of West Indian parents and she resides in Baldwin, New York

Rodney Cowan resides in Queens, New York and Jeff Andrews resides in N.Y.C, New York. Do you consider your self a Person of size or an admirer?

Well the women of this company are Plus Size Women and the Men are definitely are Admirers of the Big Beautiful Woman. Tell us about your company

Our Mission Statement
“Making the Bigger Difference”
“Quality and Quantity”

CURVESITY” is a Lifestyle not just an Expression.

“CURVESITY” is Women loving their Curves and Embracing their beauty!

“CURVESITY” is Big Men who Empower their Strength and Tap into their Wisdom.

“CURVESITY” is Social Acceptance and being PROUD of whom you are and letting no one break the POWER of your POSITIVE SPIRIT!!


CURVESITY Entertainment was formed to promote a safe & stimulating atmosphere for mature BBW's/BHM's to network, communicate and party with each other. To also enhance the level of service given to the "plus-size" world and to increase the knowledge base of our community by offering networking functions with other Positive organizations who are focused toward the same goals as “Curvesity” as well as manage positive events.

We want to improve our geographic reach to our clientele by using emails, mass mailings & collaborating with other mature positive and recognizable promoters.

“CURVESITY” is a full service company offering opportunities to party, travel & to see the "REAL" "plus-size" world. Our events range from after-work functions, trips & other social gatherings in a "full-figured" friendly atmosphere. Who is the owner/founder of your company?

Sonia Anglin- Nelson, J. Josephine Lee, Rodney Cowan and Jeff Andrews we are all co/founders there was another person Kathy Holder but due to some personal issues she had to gracefully resign but she is supportive in what we do. How did your company get its name?

Actually Sonia created the name and it came from the words Curves and Diversity Hence forth came the name Curvesity. How did your company begin?

The company began because we wanted to take the entertainment field to a different level. Not just parties, but fashion, trips, poetry and going anyway we can take it (positivity) while also bringing it to different states, to people who have not experienced things that cater to our Plus Size community. How long has your company been in business?

We have been in business for 5 years but we all have been doing this for 10 years plus with other companies and in other capacities in the promotion business. What type of services do you provide your entertainers?

We provide our patrons with a venue to present there products or crafts as well as a platform for them to get themselves seen because you never know who might be in our audiences or come to our site. We promote anyone who wants us to get what they are doing out there as long as it is positive we do not promote negativity. Tell us about the Plus Sized Entertainers you promote?

Well we will be marketing and supporting "KHARI" a Poet/Author who hails from California. We also promoted the XCHANGE Models a company run and founded by Myisha Hill of Illinois and Curvesity is the sponsor for Ms. New York Plus America 2008 Isabel Garcia. We support her in all that she does. Do you hold showcases of your Entertainers.

Yes 2008 we are creating a venue for a poet name Khari from California. He is a poet who we found on myspace who has some really positive poems about Plus Size Women. He is coming to New York for the first time and we are honored to be the first to present him here. We actually used some of his poems that are set to music for our fashion show where we promoted the XChanged to walk the runway. It was great and the models did their thing. We are also a show case for plus size designers and plus size boutiques such as Michelle Of New York. She is a really big supporter of our company and what we stand for. I would like to know the different genre of entertainers you handle.

We handle poets, authors, models, comedians, music, beauty contestants, fashion designers, boutiques, jewelry and anyone who is going to uplift and show all positive aspects of the plus size community Who are the rising stars of you company?

The rising stars of our company are the people who come to our events and enjoy themselves and leave with a positive and uplifted attitude. We want them to know that you are someone who is just a beautiful as everyone else. How many People of Size do you have under your management as of now?

We manage three people at this time. Would you say you specialize somewhat in helping people of size in the industry?

Yes we do, we are women of Size and our guys are admirers. So the venues we put forth as a company is what we wanted to see and be comfortable in and make comfortable for our patrons. So we brought what we saw as visions we came together we made it reality. What territory do you cover? Your state, other states?

We have covered our state of New York and helped out in Connecticut, Washington D.C. and New Jersey. We have supported other promotion companies from New York to Ohio, we try to support everyone, but in 2008 we are going to take this on the road so look for us America you never know where we might be. What type of opportunities have you been able to help your entertainers achieve?

The opportunities that we have provided is a place to perfect their craft as well as put them in front of an audience to do their thing. What type of publicity has your company recieved?

Our company has received publicity through Public Access, online radio, as well as online magazines. How could someone with talent approach your company?

All they have to do is contact us at our myspace pages or our personal email. ,

(attn Sonia Nelson in charge of entertainment) or ,

(attn: Josephine Lee -she is in charge of the fashion aspect of the company/secretary.) What is the key to helping Plus Sized Entertainers achieve there dreams?

The key is being passionate in what you are doing and believe in yourself and what you stand for. Do it because you love what you are doing it is really not about the money. Tell us about your first event (what kind of event) and was the turn out substantial?

Our first event was a BBW Party we did at a Club Rio's in NYC and we had about 150 to 200 people. The attendance was so fantastic for our first venue. Do you hold events regularly, and how many people attend?

We do so many different things that we really don't do regular weekly parties. We do, do events on our own and also with different promoters. Our two events that are annual is our Curvesity Soul Bowl and now our Curvesity Curvy Awards which was well received and we are so proud of. Do you promote other types of events other than the ones you hold now?

Yes we do. We are universal again as long as it is positive and they are passionate to our cause. Do you have any major events coming up in the near future?

We do just to name a few in January 12 "Step To The Mic....The Full Figured X-Perience" featuring "KHARI" Poet/Author, February 8-10 we are doing a Ski Trip To Saratoga Springs N.Y., April 5 Curvesity Soul Bowl 2008 and December 2008 Curvesity Curvy Awards and many more things in between so look out for us. Has your company been featured on Radio, TV, Print?

Yes we have been featured on online radio and Public Access T.V. as well as Online Magazine articles. What are your long term goals?

Our long term goals is to reach out to as many people as we can to give them opportunity to get the Curvesity Experience. To spread all the positivity that we can flood in this industry. Who knows what the future holds but we have a lot of surprises under our caps so keep your ears and your eyes open because you never know where we might end up!! Tell us about your location and if it is comfortable for people of size?

Any location we choose we always go for the comfort because we want to be comfortable so we want our patrons to be comfortable. We always check out any venue that we use. Who is your house DJ?

We don't have a specific house DJ we have used many different ones we love variety, we have used NY radio D J personality to the Local DJ's we give everyone a chance. Do you promote events in other states?

Yes we do all the time. We like helping everyone we spread the love. We are part of a community and we feel that we have to help each other to get the word out and expand. What is the response you receive from the BBW / BHM community?

The response that Curvesity Entertainment has received is all love. We don't dwell on negative energy we feed on the Positive Energy. We live this life every day as BBW's and Admirers of BBW's and being BHM's as well. This is our way of life we are true to all aspects. We do not discriminate we accept all. How can the readers at help support your company?

You can help by supporting us when we have events and if there are any suggestions to make us better please feel free to let us know. We love to get feed back we are very approachable. Do you have any other companies or entrepreneurs that you admire or collaborate with?

Yes there is DeVoe Signature Events (DSE) Gwendolyn DeVoe's company she always supports us. She has help us in a few shows that we have done.


Michelle of Michelle of New York Boutique and

Aja Stubbs of,


Denise Best of Blissful Elegance Events Planner and


Jeff and Monique of Phat City Entertainment. What is the key to giving a successful People of Size Event?

The Key is having a quality venue, preparation, advertising (getting it out there) and most of all Support!! Support!! Support!! We can't do it without you. Give one sentence that best describes your company?



Thank you for Reading The LargeInCharge Feature

Please send thoughts and comments to

Cover Model of the Month



Enter to be a 2008 Cover Model


     Vote for our Cover Model of the year.  Each Cover will take you to the Back Issue so you can see the image more clearly if necessary.  You can only vote once.  Please show your support to our Cover Models by voting.  You can choose who will win Cash and Prizes donated by our Sponsors Listed Below.

Fat Momma (Nell Wilson)

Issue #36 - March 2007

Jennifer Lindsay

Issue #37 - April 2007

Joyce Licorish

Issue #38 - May 2007

Samantha Green

Issue #39 - June 2007

Meghan Holbrook

Issue #40 - July 2007

Jamell Ivester

Issue #41 - August 2007

Ashley Brown

Issue #42 - September 2007

Francisca Ramos

Issue #43 - October 2007

Shereja Rage

Issue #44 - November 2007

2007 Cover Model of the Year Sponsors


Wilkes BBW Pageant -  - Entrance into the Wilkes BBW Pageant PA and hotel for your stay - Value $300.00  - Personally Designed Compcard worth 150.00  - 100.00 Gift certificate to be used at the site.

Rosalee Women's Size Apparel
- - $75.00 Gift certificate to use on the site. - $50.00 Cash Gift - Plus Sized Author Chamein Canton's Two Books valued at $45.00

Curvesity Entertainment - $25.00 American Express Gift Certificate BBW t-shirt. One shirt sizes up to 5XL - Value is $15.



2008 Cover Model Search


Want to be a LargeInCharge Cover Model?

     It has been almost five years LargeInCharge opened its online doors to the Big World.  We started with 740 readers March 2004.  We have built up to over 70,000 readers a month.  We have continuously given the Big World article after article.  Fashion tips and clothing companies.   Hot events and self esteem advice. Interesting information and cool products.  We have changed, grown and become better.  Online Magazine's are the big now doing better than physical paper magazines.  Any successful magazine must have an online presence.  LargeInCharge has been leading the way.


     Now with our third annual Cover Model Search taking place we are beaming with pride.  LargeInCharge keeps our entrance to be a cover model free by using photographs that the person submits for our covers. We don’t ask for an entry or submission fee from our models.  All we ask for is clear good photographs that would be considered portfolio type of pictures. At the end of the year we have a voting for the public and name one of them Cover Model of the Year he or she wins prizes and possibly money from our sponsors depending on what our sponsors give that year.


     Being a LargeInCharge cover model can be a great add on to your comp card or resume.  It can also be a feather in the cap of aspiring models.  So many beautiful and handsome big men and women who are not professional models can now be featured where they will be appreciated.  NO MORE SIZE 20 or 2XL ONLY MODELS.  AGE DOESN'T MATTER.  NO MORE FETISH ONLY PICTURES. We like them professional and in all sizes INCLUDING SUPER SIZED.  There are no limits with us.





What to Send In to be a LargeInCharge Cover Model?


NOTICE - Follow the Directions carefully, if you have a question you can email me and ask before you send in your entry.  Any Entries that are not sent in properly will be thrown out. Last year time was wasted because people did not ready the instructions. Take the time to send in your entry properly.

Send In the following - You must send at least one of each.

  • One or more Head shot Black & White / Color - in your modeling attire
  • One or more Full body shot Black & White / Color - in your modeling attire

NOTE: the more pictures you send it the better for us graphically.

Type of pictures

  • Digital or scanned pictures only
  • The Picture must represent you in your Current State
  • Pictures must be of one person, no group shots.
  • Pictures of Big Males and Females only.
  • Pictures must be clear with no watermarks.
  • Pictures cannot be smaller than 300 DPI, 800 x 600 pixels
  • Pictures must be tasteful and fully clothed - Swimsuit and tasteful lingerie is allowed.
  • Nude is not allowed unless it is artistic.  No private areas shown.



       Cell Phone Camera small and Discolored              Picture has distracting background                     

         Webcam picture Fuzzy small & discolored                multiple people with people in the background

Poor lighting with dark background



Pictures are well lit, clear and centered, background is clear and natural, proper size.

Picture Categories - You can send in pictures for any of the below categories

  • Winter - Winter wear, coats etc. and Seasonal type of clothing, costumes and colors.  Winter backgrounds scenes
  • Spring - Spring wear, sweaters etc. bright, airy, wind blown. Spring backgrounds scenes
  • Summer - Swimsuits, wraps, summer dresses. Summer background scenes
  • Fall - Fall colors and sweaters.  Earthy natural settings. Fall Colors.
  • Ethnic - Ethnic prints and colors.  Ethnic combinations of fabric and prints.  Jewelry
  • Business - Suite and tie. City backgrounds
  • Sporty - Sports clothing of all types. participating in sports. Jogging, walking, basketball, football, Skating. Etc
  • Exercise - In exercise outfits, gym scene etc.
  • Gothic - Gothic clothing and costumes etc.

Solid backgrounds are also acceptable in all categories.  You can send in as many pictures of you in different categories as you desire.


When you send in your pictures include the following information:







Email address:

Contact phone number:



and the BELOW statement : 


By submitting my pictures to the Cover Model Search. I am allowing to use my images as they see fit.  I reserve rights to my pictures.  YOUR NAME AND DATE HERE


What will I receive if I am picked

  • You will be interviewed for the Month you appear as our Cover Model and remain in our database.
  • You will be entered in our Yearly Cover Model contest to win Cash and or Prizes at the end of the year.

Ready to Enter?

Send your information to


Thank you for Finding out more about our Cover Model

Please send thoughts and comments to

Raqui's Spot

     Raqui the Owner and Founder of LargeInCharge Magazine.  This spot is dedicated to her thoughts, vents, and observations of Plus Sized Life.  Raqui's  "Tell it like it is" style of writing has brought hundreds to her blogs and thousands to  There is so much behind the woman who has brought this magazine into existence.  Being Internationally known as a wrestler lead the way to modeling for companies and being featured in magazines and documentaries from all over the world.  She has made a career out of her size and personality.


     For the past 4 years moving into Size Acceptance and Empowerment.  She is a woman who doesn't let things get to her.  Knock her down for the moment but she will rise up stronger and better.  Being a speaker on behalf of many subjects and counseling Plus Sized people online her grace and style has made people love her.   Raqui continues to set an example of a powerful woman who will bend the world to fit her, her way.

Raqui Appears on The Christina Show                   Raqui Appears on The Maury Show

New Year, New Life - Goal for 2008

     It is now the year 2008,  So many wonderful things have happened this past year and so many lousy ones also.  I am in love and have started building a steady foundation for the future.  I have ran out of luck with some endeavors and done well with others.  Some disappointments were bound to happen and others took me off guard.


     Regardless of what is happening I have had a few different experiences that made me realized things.  Being on the Cristina and Maury show was a blast this fall.  Doing another photo shoot with Mika Rottenburg that will be exhibited in Paris was a bit of a challenge but overall a good experience.  Being interviewed for a online station by Elwood made me want to get into online shows and radio.  Then being a Guest on the EL and SLY show showed me another avenue I want to experiment with.


     The biggest event for me was being honored at the Curvesity Curvy Awards this past December, 2007.  Finally getting a bit of recognition for my efforts was something I never thought would happen.  LargeInCharge is truly a Labor of Love as I always say.  I never thought that one day I would then receive an award because of my work.  I was very proud and so happy to experience this honor with some wonderful people.


     This all made me truly contemplate my Goals for 2008.  There are so many things I have said I would do one day and now I am making moves to accomplish them.  One of the first things I am doing is to read a poem I have recently written.  I will be reading my poem live at my birthday celebration on January 12th.  This is something I have said I would do for years.  I started reading my poetry in online chat rooms via the microphone options.  But after finding out I was being recorded I have never recited again.  Now for the first time face to face I will be performing.  What makes this so tense for me is because many professional spokenword performers will be reciting also.  This is a BBW empowering event and I dont want to suck.  But yes I am a baby to performing spoken word and this is a big challenge for me.  I WILL DO IT!!!!


     This starts my new year, my new life, the start of accomplishing my goals for 2008.  No matter how big or small they maybe I want to go after the prize.  Feel like I have explored the many avenues of my interests and like Nike says "JUST DO IT!"


I hope that some of you would join me during this event and help me celebrate my birthday!

For more event information go to:





Raqui's Cool Links  

Raqui's My Space Page

Raqui's Yahoo 360 Page

Raqui's BBWVibe Page


Thank you for Reading Raqui's Spot

Please send thoughts and comments to

Super Sized Sounds



     Super Sized Sounds will be a Music Column that will feature those who are in the industry or up and coming who are size positive. Giving recognition to the plus sized people who are out there and showcasing themselves.  Reviews, Interview, News and more from our new writer Super Sized Spanishfly Lynx.


      Lynx Garcia, also known as "SUPERSIZE SPANISHFLY", is a Latina BBW from Queens NYC.  Lynx is an activist speaking out against size discrimination and began performing back in 1996 at social events for big beautiful women and big handsome males and their admirers. Her special mixture of sound held true as she sang, spat, danced and performed spoken word, soon she was in demand by Big and Beautiful parties nationwide.  Lynx taking her "look" and sound mainstream was rejected because of her size. She did not let this break her spirit, hurt her confidence or minimize her drive. Instead she rose up and started a public access show (LYNX' LAIR) aired in Queens on TIME WARNER QPTV . Combination of comedy and sexy style, she showcased underground artists of all walks of life. The response to her show was less than a year she has showcased many artist, some who moved to bigger and better things.


     Currently Lynx has caught the attention of Joey Mekkah of BLACK SOLARIS ENTERTAINMENT and found herself on the Grandmaster MELLE MEL's SOLO ALBUM "MUSCLES" featured on the hot latin hip-hop track called 'DIMELO", she is the only collaboration on the album. Lynx recently has started her own radio show on EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO.COM  called Ladies Night. EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO is #1 on the itunes network.



Artist of the Month


     My people, mi gente… The first few days of the New Year are a time for reflection and soul searching as we all look for areas in our lives that need improvement.  I know what that is for me in my life and I would like to share it with my LargeinCharge family as well with all of my loyal readers. 


     I am going through a spiritual, emotional, mental and physical journey.  It’s time to clean house and flush out the negative.  My weight has never been an emotional or mental issue but a physical one and the time has come for me to make a change.  I have a daughter to raise and so much work before me as my mission is to help heal the world but first I must heal myself.  In all of my photos you see that I am laughing and smiling and living my life to the fullest, AND I AM.  What you don’t see (and I am putting myself on front street) is after a night of socializing and dancing I can barely walk the next day and my entire body is in pain, my legs are swollen and my back hurts so bad it takes me almost a week to get myself together.  I am at the doctor’s office more than three times a month.


     Honestly, I am tired of being sick and tired and I’ve decided not to just go on a diet but incorporate a whole lifestyle change.  Wish me luck my people and say some prayers for strength as we all know it is hard.  No worries mi gente, I am never going to be skinny and the truth is I don’t want to be.  But if going from Supersize to plus or maybe even full figured means I will be here longer then I embrace and look forward to my journey and struggles. I look forward to running with the gazelles and leaping over tall buildings in a single bound (ok at least to walking up a flight of stairs without getting winded).  I know that with better health comes a better life.  It’s a serious battle but I am a warrior and I know I have the support of my family, friends, fans, supporters and of course the ultimate father who I pray will walk beside me and continue to hold my hand and bless me and help me be the best human being I can be… Lord hear my prayer.


Which brings me to 2008’s first featured artist





Felix and Ultimate Power

Album: Leap of Faith

Genre: Christian/Latin Gospel and a Dash of Hip Hop


Felix began his musical journey at the age of twelve when he began singing with his church choir.  At the age of 18 Felix sang with the Uplifting Ministries and he has grown into a producer, arranger and vocalist extraordinaire. He is a multi talented artist with a broad range of musical styles and vocals as you can clearly hear in this album


Felix delved into catering to mainstream artists and producing hot tracks for some of the hottest artists in the reggaeton scene but his heart was always with his gospel upbringing and in 2006 he created a worship group which he named Ultimate Power; a diverse mix of individuals with their own unique sounds and style whose participation in this album makes it a flavorful treat for all.


Felix and Ultimate Power have certainly created a new kind of Gospel blending all of the different elements and influences of their hot Latin roots and R&B sass with a dash of Hip Hop and have ended up with a positive uplifting energetic lyrical musical fusion.  Felix’ production will have you swinging and swaying and the lyrics to some of the songs will resonate for real recognizes real and you can’t deny when you hear the TRUTH.


So my people, mi gente…Get ready to release your worries and “Take It To The King” because “ He’s Alive” and “Your Love” and devotion will be rewarded, just let the music and words fill your “Mind , Body and Soul”  fill yourself with El “ Espiritu Santo” (The Holy Spirit) and enjoy the rhythmic sounds of the Latin Islands, as they move you to sway and dance and rejoice and sing because “This Is How We Do” when we want to give thanks and praise his name, for when we are struggling and are at our worst …it is then that he says “I’m Here” if you believe just take a LEAP OF FAITH  for he hears our cries at any hour. Halleluiah


Cd is available for purchase through my space at



Happy New Year my people, mi gente…peace, blessings, love and light to all.

May God as you understand God bless you all and keep you safe

Participate and Grab a plate in 2008, it’s time for everyone to eat!!


Make sure to stop by my blog on the SiTV network website @

For some fun , informative and crazy cool stories and for your dose Of  “Lynx’s Logic”

Want to send in your Voice in for review? Are you a singer, rapper, or poet who performs spoken word?  Up and Coming, already established?  Contact Lynx through her Myspace page or email and all information will be forwarded to her (PUT "FOR LYNX" IN THE SUBJECT AREA) 

You must be a Size Positive Artist, or a Plus Sized Supporter.

Thanks for reading

Super Sized Sounds with Lynx


Lynx Cool Links

From the Plus Side


Emily Smiltneck

     From the Plus side will be column dedicated to short stories that deal with all aspects of Plus size Life.  Emily Smiltneck was chosen for this position because of her dedication, and realistic writing style. She captures the emotional and mental rollercoaster those who are Plus Sized go through.


     Emily Susanne Smiltneck lives in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan (pretty much dead center in the middle of nowhere). She is a substitute teacher, and has recently started a tutoring business. Emily is currently working on several writing projects, including a historical fiction novel and several collections of poetry.

Emily Smiltneck receives recognition in Neighbors Daily Press - See article below


     It is a great joy when our fellow Plus Sized people receive recognition for their life's work.  Join me in this Joyous moment when one of our LargeInCharge writers is seen for her contribution and great dedication to her goals in life.  Click the images above to read the article about our dear Emily. When the page open click on the article to zoom in and read it.


Milwaukee District/West Line  


Union Station

            A tall man and a tiny woman stood on the platform outside of the Metra.  They were kissing, long and hard.  I looked away, feeling guilty for intruding on their private moment, but my gaze was pulled to them once more.  I swallowed hard and blinked fast to hold back tears.  The space next to me in my seat was empty, so empty, and watching them made it seem even more empty.  This time last week, there would have been someone next to me, and I would have been smiling, placing my hand on his leg, kissing him unexpectedly just to see the smile on his face, just to get close enough to smell him.  But because last week is gone and this week has been laid out flat upon me, I am alone.

            I watched as the couple broke apart, smiling broadly.  The man took a folded map from his back pocket and they studied it together, his high shoulder leaning toward her low one, heads bent together.  Then the woman stepped forward onto the train and the man followed.  I lost sight of them for just a second as they boarded the train, between cars, and then the door into the car I was sitting in swung open and as the woman came toward me, I saw the man go into the other car.  And then I could hear the woman’s voice.

            “Honey, where ya going?  This one’s almost empty.  Let’s go in here.”

            I could hear the man’s voice, too, but it was a low rumble absent of actual words, because the train had started moving and the sound of the train bumping over the places where the tracks crossed going into the station drowned him out.  The woman must have heard him, though, because she asked him in disbelief, with just a trace of laughter in her voice, “What did you say?”  And this time, as the train tracks smoothed out, we both heard him perfectly clearly.  There was no laughter in his response.

            “I’m going this way.  I need to break it off with you.”


Western Ave

            Everything seemed to happen at once, then.  The doors to both cars slammed shut.  The conductor’s voice announced that the train was approaching Western Ave.  The woman came toward me.  The train slowed rapidly to a stop, almost dumping the now pale woman into my lap.  She fell into the empty space in my seat with no readable expression at all on her face.  No expression of any kind, really.  She had taken on the appearance of a recently abandoned building, not yet sad-looking, not yet in disrepair, just completely empty.  Blank.


Grand Ave/Cicero

            It took me a minute to absorb it all.  I had been so envious of them just a few minutes ago and now I was almost happy to be me, because at least my own betrayal had taken place a week ago.  At least I had had some time to heal.  This woman had not yet started to feel her pain.  Her face was still a void.  It scared me more than if she had been crying out in terrible sobs of desperation, or screaming out rage-fed yelps of angry pain.  Looking at her, I was almost frozen in fear. 

            I couldn’t grasp the fact that so few minutes before, I had been filled with resentment because she was so obviously loved and I was so newly aware that I had never been loved, and now we were sisters in sorrow. 

            “Why?” I wanted to ask her.  “Why did you just let him go?  Why didn’t you follow him?”

            But I couldn’t.  I was afraid to speak to her, afraid I would set off a reaction so intense that the entire train would roll from its tracks in shock.  A reaction like the one I imagined I, myself, would have in her situation.  The seat we were sitting in was overflowing with calm, with silence, stillness, shock.  And I was afraid that after the deadly silence, the storm would come.


Hanson Park

            So, instead of speaking to her, offering comfort, I leaned back into my seat and looked out the window.  Shops and parks and green, green grass flashed past me.  When I tired of watching them, and they no longer occupied my mind enough to stop me from thinking, from crying, I ventured a glance toward the windows on the other side of the train.  In order to do so, I had to look past the woman, but I was careful not to see her.  On the other side of the train were tall, broken, dirty buildings, and dust.  I looked away.



            Without really thinking about it, I reached into my bag, pulled out a Kleenex, and offered it to the woman.  Without looking at me, she accepted it.  Somehow, I sensed that the tears had begun.  I continued to look out my window; it seemed like I should give her some privacy, some time.

            I was burning to know her story, though.  I had seen them, minutes ago, man and woman, side by side, almost one person rather than two.  And then I had seen—heard, felt—one life split into two.  What had changed as they crossed the threshold of this train?  I couldn’t keep myself from looking at her any longer.  I moved only my eyes to spare her the pain of scrutiny.

            Beneath her tear-studded eyelashes, I saw her looking back at me.  I felt her really seeing me.



            “I’m pregnant,” I almost heard her whisper.  I was only sure of what she’d said because I’d seen her lips form the words.  And as soon as they had, she turned away.  I couldn’t speak, couldn’t think.


Mont Clare

            It was impossible to avoid feeling her pain.  Pregnant women in love have been left before, millions of times, I’m sure.  But this was happening right here next to me, affecting me almost as if it were happening to me.  Her pain was so tangible, so present, so drawn to my own pain, that I couldn’t escape it.  I was only vaguely aware that I wasn’t even seeing the landscape pass me anymore as I stared out the window.

            I was obsessed with this woman’s situation, couldn’t put it out of my mind.  In some small way, I envied her still.  Her suffering was so obvious, but she was suffering the loss of love in her life.  Which meant she had known love, had received love.  And that is something I have, apparently, never experienced.  I thought I had.  I was wrong.


Elmwood Park

            I felt guilty because I envied her, I really did, but I couldn’t turn off my thoughts.  Her pain melted together with mine somewhere inside of me and soon the tears in my eyes matched the tears in the eyes of the woman sitting next to me.  It was only in the last few months that I had ever, in my nearly thirty years of life, been in love, at least with anyone who loved me in return.  Or claimed to.  And now it was already over.  But he had never really loved me anyway.

My parents love me, of course, and my grandparents, and all the other people who were supposed to love me from the time I was born, just because I existed.  And my friends love me, I suppose.  But no man has ever kissed me, really kissed me, not like that man had kissed this woman.  Not like he meant it.  I have never been loved like this woman has, this woman who is now sitting by my side holding her broken heart in her hands.

            I had been on the occasional date here or secret nighttime rendezvous there, but nothing real.  I was never attracted to any of them.  I only pretended, because it seemed better to be with anyone than to be with no one.  And then I had met a man, finally, who I could love, and who loved me.  Until last week.  When he told me the truth. 

            He didn’t need me, didn’t want me, didn’t love me.  All he needed was a place to live, someone to pay the bills for a few months, and so I became that person.  I was stupid, so stupid.  I believed him when he told me he loved me the second time we ever saw each other, and because I wanted to so badly, because he allowed me to, I loved him too.

            And so now, here I am, on a strange train in a strange city sitting next to a strange woman who is crying over what she had but doesn’t anymore, and I am crying over what I thought I had and never really did.  And somehow, she and I are the same.


River Grove

            When I brushed the tears from my eyes and looked up at the woman again, she was staring intently into my eyes.

            “The baby is his,” she whispered.  “And he was so happy.”  Her voice broke.  “I don’t understand.”


Franklin Park

            “Well, then—” I started to ask her what had made him leave.  But she didn’t know that, couldn’t know, any more than I could.  Otherwise, she wouldn’t be sitting here, desperate and lonely, confiding in a woman she had never met before.



            This woman, with her smooth blonde hair and almost transparent skin, so tiny and seemingly helpless, was carrying a child inside of her, a child whose father had been a warm and loving presence in her life less than a half hour ago and who had now disappeared completely.  And I was crying?  For myself? 

I am a monster.  I do not deserve love.

But she is tiny and pale and beautiful, and I am large and clumsy and not at all attractive.  There will be other men for her, even if she can’t see that now.  But for me?

            I was crying even harder than she was.  And she hesitantly reached out to me, patted my shoulder awkwardly.  She was being kind to me, so kind.  While her entire life was falling apart.  Waves of shame filled me.  And I was crying so hard I couldn’t even tell her that I was crying for her again, not for myself.  I was crying for her courage and her strength.  The more comfort she gave, the harder I cried.



            The train car was almost full, and the other passengers were watching us warily.  We must have seemed like friends, even sisters, comforting each other through some common grief.  And that thought was what gave me comfort.

            Even if I, myself, knew that I was completely alone in the world with no one who cared, and no one who ever would, none of these people knew that.  And as long as they all thought I was loved, thought that maybe I was even going home to adoring children and a loving husband, I could pretend, and I could survive.


Wood Dale

            “I have a daughter at home,” the woman said, once again in a faint whisper.  “She is with her grandma right now.  Well, with his mother.  She’s three.  She never even knew her dad, but—he is—was—like a dad.  She loves him.”

            I shook with sobbing grief for this woman, and for her little girl, and for her unborn child, and for myself, too.  For all my future unborn children who would remain unborn simply because I couldn’t find a man to give them life.  The same sobs wracked her tiny body, and I put my large, clumsy arms around her.  She wrapped her tiny, bony ones around me.  We clung to one another and cried, not totally unaware, but not noticing, either, all the eyes that were resting upon us.



            “It’s—it’s my stop,” she said quietly when the conductor announced the approach of Itasca.  She broke away from me, tore herself from my grasp.  A half hour of closeness, of friendship, of sisterly love, and it was over.  I was alone, again.  She was alone, anew.  She stood and wrapped her arms around me as the train shuddered to a stop.  And then she was gone.

            As I watched her tiny frame glide away from me, so strong and brave, I saw the man who had broken her walking away from the train.  As he approached a car in the parking lot, the woman hurried up behind him.  She crossed her arms and stood looking at his back.  He did not immediately turn to face her.

            And before I could see how the story would unfold in the end, the train was rolling along the tracks again.



            Four lives destroyed, unless the tall man had turned as I flew off down the track and smiled sadly, gently, at the woman, then opened his arms with tears in his eyes.

            Five lives, really, because now I knew the truth.  The emptiness and loneliness of a life not filled with love is nothing compared to the emptiness and loneliness and breath-stealing pain of knowing love to the greatest power and then having that love withdrawn.

            Like the empty space behind the train where air has not yet rushed to fill the emptiness, a loveless life is but a void.

            And in that empty space I shall live forever, chasing trains full of talking, laughing strangers, hoping to see a tall man and a tiny woman boarding the train with a swaddled infant and a little girl in tow.

            Until I find them, I shall ride alone.


Thanks for reading

From the Plus Side with Emily Smiltneck


Emily's Cool Links

Good 4 U Food

Recipes for Good... Healthy Food

By: Xander - The Food Dude


New - Do


Ok, this is the eighth version of this article I’ve written.  I just can’t seem to get what I want to say on paper this month.  I look back at last years article and it seems rife with “a new year” redo’s on this last year.  Somehow it just doesn’t seem good enough anymore to come across like a cross between a cheer leader and motivational speaker.  It’s time you deserve more.  I know a lot of this comes from our publisher mistress send us an e-mail of her getting an award that said the she made a difference. 

She made a difference..…

And now it finally hits me why it keeps bouncing around like a ping-pong inside my melon.  The message, the one worth talking about now is not to ask you to focus on yourself.   Don’t bother to make you life better.  Don’t make yourself better.  Don’t become great.  Don’t focus your lives.  Don’t work toward happiness.

Do It For Someone Else…..

In doing that you create, make, originate, proclaim, plan, see, feel, taste, touch it all for others.  Be the bridge between someone failure or success.  Help them make the crossing.  Be all the things you want in your life for yourself, but do it for someone else.    Yep, our own webmaster extraordinaire, Raqui, sets a trend for us all to follow. It’s as clear as day as I finally type out what “feels” like the right message, FINALLY.  Yes, I said it “feels” right.  The words fly from my fingers as I go through the content in my head and as soon as I think it, it spills forth unto the pages before you now.

Take what God had given you that is yours and yours alone and make it work.  Work it in the favor of others so they might be touched by what God has granted you the talent and ability to do.  If you can make people laugh, make them laugh.  If you can cook, cook to feed them.  If you can talk to people, let them know they are heard.

This year with you goal list, I want you to take it and create a God list.  Take those goal lists and write them on the left side of the page. On the write side of the page write how that goal serves others.  Lets make this an experiment.  Throughout the year look at the goals you have.  I’m willing to bet the ones that you meet first are those that make the greatest impact on others.  I looked back at my goal list from last year.  The weird thing is I didn’t achieve a single thing for myself.  Million dollars, No,  Mansion on the Beach, No, and a mess of other things that I didn’t need.  But those things I thought were for myself, that turned out to help others seemed to get done.  Is that because I or other worked harder on them.  I tend to think that it isn’t the reason.  I think that’s the way God, or whatever higher power you believe in wants it.

Now you may think, what about the oil barons of our day or the multi-billionaires that we see hurting others.  I can only say we are not judged by others behaviors.  The “I did it because they did won’t be how we are judged or evaluated.  I think the true question we all will face someday, is “did we use what God gave us wisely ?”   Did we help others or did we squander the time we have. 

This is just a little something for you to think about in this coming day, month, and year.  I want to thank you all for reading this last year, you are a blessing to me.  To Raqui, I give congratulations on your efforts being noticed.  You did, do, and have made a difference.  God Bless all of you in this coming year.  May your actions make you great.

In the end, if someone were to say about me that I had made a difference.  Well, that would be just fine by me.

Xander's Recipe of the Month

Jalapeno Popper

Make the Year Spicy



  • 1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
  • 1 (8 ounce) package shredded sharp Cheddar cheese
  • 1/4 cup mayonnaise
  • 15 fresh jalapeno peppers, halved lengthwise and seeded
  • 2 eggs, beaten
  • 1/2 tablespoon milk
  • 1 1/2 cups crushed corn flake cereal


  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Lightly grease a medium baking sheet.
  2. In a medium bowl, mix together cream cheese, sharp Cheddar cheese and mayonnaise. Stuff jalapeno halves with the mixture.
  3. Whisk together eggs and milk in a small bowl. Place crushed corn flake cereal in a separate small bowl.
NOTE:'s what you need to do: after seeding the peppers you must blanche them in salted boiling water for 2 minutes to the cream cheese mixture you need to add a few dashes of Tabasco, a sprinkling of chili powder and cayenne, some cilantro chopped very, very finely, and a few real bacon bits. let the mixture sit for a while before stuffing, the flavors need to mingle you need to use seasoned breadcrumbs, but be sure to dredge them in FLOUR first, or else not enough egg will stick to the

Thank you for Reading Good Food 4U

By Xander the Food Dude

Please send thoughts and comments to


Time to tell it like it is!


     This is an experiment in Confession, you can anonymously confess, or let everyone know something that you feel.  Every Month we will post all the confessions and you can come and view them and be inspired to make your own.


     You can send in a picture,  You can make a graphic,  You can just send in your written words.  You can do it anonymously and get something off your chest.  You can let everyone know who you are and liberate yourself.


     Hope you enjoy Confession!  Send in your own check the bottom of this page!





All I want for Christmas is one Honest and Loving Man - Jill



Sometimes I really question why I am with him.




Every day there is a woman who comes to my store, she orders the same thing.  I watch her eat sitting her big round body on the small chair.  My resolution for 2008 is to finally ask if I can sit with her and talk.




If I had sex with you and don't remember it or remember you.  You were really horrible and I pushed it out of my mind because it wasn't worth thinking about.






Babe I want to be with you forever, I love you and I cant imagine living with out you.





Send in your own Confession,  Use the email to the Right and send in a your confession, weather it is a graphic you made (NO BIGGER THAN 5x7 92 DPI) or a picture you saw.  You can also just send in text words.  Your Confession can be Anonymous or you can tell everyone who you are.

Send in your Confession NOW!

Thanks for reading Confession

Send in your Confession to


Large In Charge Guest Spot

We want to hear and see your talents!


One of our favorite parts of the Magazine.  The Guest Spot is for our readers to submit there talents to be viewed.  We want to see all you wonderful supporters making moves of your own.  If you write poetry, short stories, commentaries, or just thoughts in general, please submit them to us.  If your a designer we want to see pictures of your clothing.   We would love to include your talents in our newsletter.  We hope you take an active part in the L.I.C. newsletter. Send in your article, poetry, comments to -

NOTE: The Opinion of the writer is not always the opinion of The Large in Charge Staff.  We support the Right to all views.  We do not Condemn or Approve writing based on our personal thoughts.  We approve writing based on if the subject is a concern for the BBW / SSBBW / BHM Community.  Thank you for your writing and please send in those articles!  - The Large in Charge Staff



Looking for new Writers for 2008



About Our Writers Search:

     LargeInCharge is looking for Volunteer Writers for our Online Magazine.  We are looking for Males and Females who wants to write about issues that concern large people.  We need people who will be dedicated to writing columns or doing an interview once a month in a timely manner.  You do not need to be a professional writer,  Good writing, and typing skills, the ability to spell check, understand grammar and have your article sent in on time is what we are looking for.


     We want to bring the voice of the people to the people.  Give them something they can related to and enjoy on a monthly basis.


    LargeInCharge is a non-profit Online magazine which is why we are asking for Volunteer's.  This is a great opportunity to brush up on your writing skills and learn different writing styles.


NOTICE:  This is not a responsibility to be taken lightly.  You must be able to hand in one article on time monthly for a period of at least 12 months.  If you wish to continue after 12 months then you may stay if your track record is good.


We are looking for writers for the following Positions.

  • Big Character Review - a writer to analyze and comment on Big characters in Movies and TV and magazines.  Either cartoon or real life actors.

  • A Big Man's World - a writer who will write about living life as a Big Man in this Society.

  • Product Review - A writer to search for and find products that are beneficial for plus sized people.

  • Make- up, Medicine and Body - External to internal make your body feel and look great!

  • Inspiration - Inspirational stories, interviews and articles on loving yourself as is.

  • My Life Before and After Gastric bypass - we are looking for a writer who will document there life before and after this controversial surgery.  Positive and Negative experiences are welcome.

  • The Erotic Phatty - Erotic stories and poetry for the Full Figured form.


Would you like to be a writer?



Interested in applying for a writers position?


     Send in the information below along with a clear photograph of yourself and one complete article at least 300 words.  Please make sure your article is matching the position your applying for.  If you are a versatile writer and applying for more than one position send in one article for each position.


     Any submissions maybe be used in the magazine as a guest article or other wise if you do not receive a position.  If you are picked for a position it will be used as a back up for your column in case of emergency.


I want to Apply for a Writers Position:


My Name is:

My email address is:

My Phone Number is:

My location/address is:

The position I am applying for is:


Here is my article:


I am allowing LargeInCharge to use my image and article as they see fit.  By typing my name and date I understand that I agree to the above.   NAME/DATE


Send to:


Thank you

Send in your Work to Appear in LargeInCharge

We love our guest writers, they help us to make LargeInCharge more personal and reader friendly place.  We bring the people words from there own peers.  If you always wanted to write but never knew what to do with your thoughts and opinions.  Send them in to us we love to feature you in our guest spot.


What type of entries do we accept?

  • Original Articles that have not been placed in publication.

  • Size Empowerment Stories

  • Discovery of Size Acceptance

  • Romance of Large Size

  • Poetry - at least 25 lines in length

  • Complaints about Society

  • Complaints about what is provided for Big People

  • Complaints about Health Care

  • Weight Loss Surgery Experiences

  • Dealing with Doctors

  • The Joy of being Big

  • Learning to Love yourself

  • etc.

How to Submit my Article for review?

  • Check your article for spelling and correct format, We do not edit articles.
  • Attach your article either in Word, Text Format, or in the Body of your email.
  • In your email send your Real Name, E-mail and Address (state, location).
  • Under your Name and Address include date, and the line. "I give and there owners, permission to use my written article. I am submitting it for there use at their discretion."
  • Include a picture if you so wish in .jpg or .gif format and a brief description of yourself.

Send in your stories, poems, etc. to



Ask Raqui

Ask your Questions and We will answer!

Send your question to Raqui -

NOTE: The Opinion of Raqui  is just that. I do not claim to be professional or to solve your problems.  I can however give you a real answer that may help you out.

Ask Raqui
Q:  I have a hard time finding panties that don't irritate my creases. Know of anything more comfortable?
Miss Ouch
Raqui:  I understand the feeling.  I suggest wearing cotton shorts under clothing instead.  I used to get some nice ones out of the Lane Bryant catalog that were down to the knee. I am not sure they still have them, They would be in the hosiery section.  If worst comes to worst get some guys boxer briefs from any store or King Sized if you need a bigger size.

Lane Bryant - www.lanebryant

King Size -

Q:  You once suggested a lingerie site called  what happened to the site?

Lady Love

Raqui: Hi Lady Love, I am not sure but the site is NOT what it used to be.  Looks like they went out of business and the name was taken over.  It is now an affiliate program site.  Sorry that I don't have more information for you.


Q:   I was wondering where a traveling admirer might find a nice place to party with the big ladies


Raqui:  Check out the BBW Parties Page for a listing of Events through out the USA and a few International.

Q:   I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday, What do you want for your birthday?



Raqui:  I would appreciate anyone who wants to give me a present to make a donation to LargeInCharge help keep the Magazine going.  That would make a great present.



Thank you for Reading Ask Raqui

Please send thoughts, comments and questions to

Large In Charge

Fashion Furious

BBW/BHM Fashion of the Month

     We all hate how the Fashion Industry is just scratching the surface when it comes to Large Sized Fashion.  But I have found out that many clothing stores and online companies are beginning to take up the slack.  Creative BBW, SSBBW and BHM's are making there own clothing or mix matching and finding basic everyday wear and night club wear. 

     Making it affordable is what can be hard so showcase your wonderful finds here.  If your a regular shopper, sew your own clothing or a designer showcase your clothing here by submitting a picture for Fashion Furious of the month.


Fashion Furious of the Month

How to send in your Fashion Find. Send a Clear Picture as an attachment

and use the Format Below to describe your Fashion Furious picture.

Email to Raqui:

Fashion Find by: Raqui

Fashion Type:  Warm Winter Underwear

Description:  These lightweight thermal underwear are an awesome buy about 20 dollars a piece and a sale is going on now!  They now come in two nice colors navy and charcoal.  These warm undies go up to size 7xl and are made for men but are great for women especially if your tall.  They are light enough to go under your clothes to wear outside or match up with a comfortable tee shirt for night time comfort.  I love these and as a tall woman I am happy to find them.


King Size -




Send in your Fashion Furious Picture and Details to

Large In Charge

Product of the Month!

What is good for Big Sized Bodies


    A very important and necessary part of LargeInCharge.  Find out what is helpful for big bodies.  Keep your self straight with some of our tips and tricks. Find out what other Big Sized people use to keep themselves smelling, feeling, looking, and living a proper life.  What kind of products are allowed. Anything that deal with the body. From cleaning aids to soap, lotions, powder, healing aids etc.  anything that can help a big body!

NOTE: The Opinion of those who submit items are not professional.  They are everyday people who found something that worked for them.  We are not held responsible for there opinion - The Large in Charge Staff

Send your favorite Item to be Product of the Month - Follow format below, include a picture of product (most can be found online) and Send to

Product of the Month

About the Product

Recommender: Raqui

Name of Product:
CONAIR Massaging Neck Rest

Type of Product: Massager

Cost of Product: $

Where Product can be found:

 Buy More Save More 125x125

Powerful massage action soothes upper back and neck. Reusable hot/cold gel packs, variable speed vibration action, heat therapy option for warm comfort. Easy-to-use hand control.

Why I like this Product: I think this product is great for everyone but especially the hard working BBW or BHM.  With the cold weather taking over this warming massager will help with many neck problems.  With added cooling or warming packs this makes an affordable luxury.



Send in your Product recommendation to

      Return to Back Issues of L.I.C.    Return to the Front