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Welcome to Large In Charge Magazine           

 Issue #47 - February 2008

FEBRUARY COVER

 

 

In this Issue of L.I.C


 

Feature of the Month - Spoken Word Artist Khari

Cover Model of the Month -
COVER MODEL OF THE YEAR 2008 - SHEREJA RAGE!  CONGRATULATIONS!

CONFESSIONS - Let It Go and Confess! Get It Off your Chest!

Raqui's Spot -  The Garbage Trucks - Positive and Negative

Super Sized Sounds -
Gab Gacha ~ SUPERSIZED SPANISHFLY LYNX

From the Plus Side - A Familiar Stranger ~ Emily Smiltneck

Good 4 U Food -
Da' SuperBowl Sandwhich ~ Xander


Guest Spot - Searching for New Writers.  Apply to be a LargeInCharge writer!

Fashion Furious - Fashion Finds with Plus Size style. Submit a Find!

Product of the Month - Products for People of Size

Ask Raqui - Get some advice from one Big person to another.

FREE RAFFLE - Enter to win our next prize!
 

LICDating - LargeInCharge Personals - Dating for the Large People who are going to be in Charge of their Love Lives!

 

LargeInCharge Friends - The Place for Big People to make Friends and maybe MUCH MORE!

Feature of the Month

?

 

www.myspace.com/kinglykhari

Khari is our Raffle Sponsor for the Months of February and March

Enter now to win a copy of his book or CD.  CLICK HERE

Khari

     So the buzz was overwhelming on Myspace.  A soulful spoken word artist was traveling all the way to NYC on his East Coast tour.  Well I just had to find out who he was because from what I hear his words were supposed to be lyrical orgasm's to a Fat Chicks Ear.

     I visited his page and really was impressed by this mans passion for women, especially those on the thick side.  But I could not over look the love for his child, and respect for all who encountered him.  I was then invited to perform for my Birthday one of my poems for the first time.

     You can say I was nervous because how can I perform in the same venue as this man KHARI, who is more than just Kingly with his words, but also his life.  The positive energy flowing from this man is profound.  Some how I made it through and got to enjoy him speak sweet words of love, life, hurt, pain and passion.

     I screamed just as loud as anyone and sighed with moments of despair, my lips dripped sugar and my mind whirled as he took us on a rollercoaster ride of emotion. 

     The applause was wondrous and I was so happy to meet a man who was kind to the crowd and showed his loved thoroughly.

Take some time to meet my good friend Khari.

                                                                                  Raqui

                             

                       Khari and Raqui in NYC,                  Khari @ the Mic,        Khari with his NYC Fam,    Khari in the Community,    

 

Khari Book Cover,     Khari Spittin

Interview with Khari

www.LargeInCharge.com: What is your name (Real and or Stage)?

 

Khari (pronounced Kah-REE) is my real name.  It means "Kingly" in Swahili.

www.LargeInCharge.com: Where are you originally from, and where is your home state now?

Oakland, California! Borned and raised in Northern California's Bay Area.

www.LargeInCharge.com: Tell us about your home life, children, marital status, etc.

I'm currently single and I have a beautiful seven-year-old daughter.

www.LargeInCharge.com: Do you consider yourself a person of Size?


I'm a big muscular guy and ladies have often told me that I am a large size! lol

www.LargeInCharge.com: Have you always shown an interest in writing and poetry?


Ever since I can remember! I began writing poetry at a young age after being exposed to the works of Langston Hughes and Maya Angelou.

www.LargeInCharge.com: How old where you when you began to write and what did you write?

I began to write when I was around 6 years old. My earliest poems were non-secular because I wrote poems for church services on youth Sundays.

www.LargeInCharge.com: What inspired you to write as a child?

My Grandmother, Mary Lacy.

www.LargeInCharge.com: We would like to know about your education, are you formally educated?

Yes I am. I double majored in Political Science and Black Studies from San Francisco State.

www.LargeInCharge.com: Have you taken courses or classes to study writing and or poetry?

I've never taken a class or course devoted to teaching me to write poetry. In my opinion, poetry is simply painting pictures with words!

www.LargeInCharge.com: What exactly is spoken word and made you take the step to perform?

Spoken word is poetry that focuses on the oral tradition. Unlike literary poetry, is written with the intent of being "heard" rather than "read."

www.LargeInCharge.com: Is there a difference between spoken word and poetry?

Spoken word artists and slam poets are actually taking poetry back to its oral traditions. The emergence of spoken word as an art form is growing by leaps and bounds. Unfortunately though, most spoken word artist are not taken seriously by the literary academia.

www.LargeInCharge.com: What made you take the step toward making spoken word your career?

Spoken word is not my career yet because I still work a 9-5 to pay the bills.

www.LargeInCharge.com: How did you get known on the circut?

Word of mouth, my performances across the country and also my myspace page at www.myspace.com/kinglykhari

www.LargeInCharge.com: Who is your manager, PR person etc.?

I don't have a manager but I will need one soon! lol


www.LargeInCharge.com: Tell us about the first time you performed, how did you feel?

The first time that I performed was at a spoken word venue in Oakland and I was very nervous! I was even more surprised by the ovation that followed!

www.LargeInCharge.com: I understand you have also published a book and have a CD tell us about it?

I am the author of the poetry book "Black Women Are A Blessing: Poems Celebrating the Beauty, Brilliance, Strength and Sensuality of my Sistas." My CD "The Soul of a Poet Mixtape" has 27 tracks of spoken wordover Hip Hop, R&B and Jazz.


www.LargeInCharge.com: How many books have you published so far, what are you working on for the near future?

One book published so far (Black Women are a Blessing) I'm currently working on a new book
of poetry entitled "Curvy and Confident," which pays recognition and respect to plus sized women.


www.LargeInCharge.com: Are people of size included in your writing?

Definitely! I celebrate full-figured women in a lot of my poetry!

www.LargeInCharge.com: Are you currently on tour?

Yes I am! Touring the East Coast to promote my book "Black Women are a Blessing: Poems Celebrating the Beauty, Brilliance, Strength and Sensuality of my Sistas."


www.LargeInCharge.com: Who are some of Spoken Word Performers and Authors that you admire?

Sunni Patterson, Taalam Acey, Tshaka, Black Ice and Yaddos.


www.LargeInCharge.com: What would you say to other aspiring Poets?

Always keep writing and never settle for mediocrity!


www.LargeInCharge.com: What should they do to get there work out there?

Learn everything they can about publishing and promotions! Visit a few open mic venues and maybe participate in a few poetry slams. Don't forget to network!


www.LargeInCharge.com: Do you have other Poets that you collaborate with?

There are a few! I've collaborated with Prentice Powell of Hot Water Cornbread and Brianni Davis. Both of them are phenomenal spoken word artists based out of the Bay Area.


www.LargeInCharge.com Tell us a few of the tricks you have learned?

I really haven't learned any tircks but I will offer some advice to all aspiring spoken word artists! The first this is to always spit with confidence. The second piece of advice that I would offer is to make sure that all pieces are under 3 minutes and that you practice your poems and routine nonstop!


www.LargeInCharge.com: Do you have a good support system from family and friends?

Yes I do! I thank God for my nuclear family and extended family such as Curvesity Ent.


www.LargeInCharge.com: What do you attribute your success to?

I attribute my success to God and the morals that my grandparents instilled in me.


www.LargeInCharge.com: Where will you be appearing next?

After my New York, I fly to Atlanta and then Denver to perform at Cafe Nuba.

www.LargeInCharge.com: Is performing Spoken Word your primary source of work?

No, I have a full time job.


www.LargeInCharge.com: What other things do you do and do you tie them in with your career?

I keep my career separate from spoken word. In my spare time I volunteer with community organizations (paint schools, feed the homeless, etc.) because I view myself as a community activist also. Being a community activist to me is my way of giving back to the city that I grew up in.


www.LargeInCharge.com: Give us one word that you can say best represents your work?

Passion


www.LargeInCharge.com: How much have you evolved as a Poet since those early days as a youth?

I'm constantly evolving and growing as an artist. I believe that any artist that is serious about their
work will always seek to transcend and improve upon their previous work.



www.LargeInCharge.com: How can the readers at www.largeincharge.com help support you?

Spread the word about me and purchase my upcoming book "Curvy and Confident." There is a movement going on to empower and uplift the esteem of plus size people in this country and I'm trying to do my part.
 

 
 

Thank you for Reading The LargeInCharge Feature

Please send thoughts and comments to

articles@largeincharge.com

2008 COVER MODEL OF YEAR!

Shereja Rage!

 

 

 

  

   Congratulations to our 2008 Cover Model of the Year Ms. Shereja Rage!  Shereja won out of nine competitors she truly is Large In Charge.  We are so happy to have another year go by and have another wonderful set of faces grace our Online Magazine.  Thank you to all the Cover Models for 2007 who participated.  Thank you especially to our Wonderful sponsors below who donated the gifts for our Cover Model of the Year. Please pay them a visit and support them.  They support the Plus Sized community and deserve it. 

Raqui

2007 Cover Model of the Year Sponsors

 

Wilkes BBW Pageant - www.wilkesproductions.com  - Entrance into the Wilkes BBW Pageant PA and hotel for your stay - Value $300.00

www.URDESIGNS.net  - Personally Designed Compcard worth 150.00

www.IGIGI.com  - 100.00 Gift certificate to be used at the IGIGI.com site.

Rosalee Women's Size Apparel
- www.rosaleewomensizeapparel.com - $75.00 Gift certificate to use on the site.

www.SISTAZReachingOut.com - $50.00 Cash Gift

www.Chamein.com - Plus Sized Author Chamein Canton's Two Books valued at $45.00

Curvesity Entertainment - $25.00 American Express Gift Certificate

www.treasuresqueen.com BBW t-shirt. One shirt sizes up to 5XL - Value is $15.

 

 

2008 Cover Model Search

 

Want to be a LargeInCharge Cover Model?

     It has been almost five years LargeInCharge opened its online doors to the Big World.  We started with 740 readers March 2004.  We have built up to over 70,000 readers a month.  We have continuously given the Big World article after article.  Fashion tips and clothing companies.   Hot events and self esteem advice. Interesting information and cool products.  We have changed, grown and become better.  Online Magazine's are the big now doing better than physical paper magazines.  Any successful magazine must have an online presence.  LargeInCharge has been leading the way.

 

     Now with our third annual Cover Model Search taking place we are beaming with pride.  LargeInCharge keeps our entrance to be a cover model free by using photographs that the person submits for our covers. We don’t ask for an entry or submission fee from our models.  All we ask for is clear good photographs that would be considered portfolio type of pictures. At the end of the year we have a voting for the public and name one of them Cover Model of the Year he or she wins prizes and possibly money from our sponsors depending on what our sponsors give that year.

 

     Being a LargeInCharge cover model can be a great add on to your comp card or resume.  It can also be a feather in the cap of aspiring models.  So many beautiful and handsome big men and women who are not professional models can now be featured where they will be appreciated.  NO MORE SIZE 20 or 2XL ONLY MODELS.  AGE DOESN'T MATTER.  NO MORE FETISH ONLY PICTURES. We like them professional and in all sizes INCLUDING SUPER SIZED.  There are no limits with us.

 

REAL MEN... REAL WOMEN... REAL BODIES

BE LARGE IN CHARGE... BE OUR COVER MODEL!

 

What to Send In to be a LargeInCharge Cover Model?

 

NOTICE - Follow the Directions carefully, if you have a question you can email me and ask before you send in your entry.  Any Entries that are not sent in properly will be thrown out. Last year time was wasted because people did not ready the instructions. Take the time to send in your entry properly.

Send In the following - You must send at least one of each.

  • One or more Head shot Black & White / Color - in your modeling attire
  • One or more Full body shot Black & White / Color - in your modeling attire

NOTE: the more pictures you send it the better for us graphically.

Type of pictures

  • Digital or scanned pictures only
  • NO WEBCAM PICTURES, FUZZY, DISCOLORED, OLD
  • The Picture must represent you in your Current State
  • Pictures must be of one person, no group shots.
  • Pictures of Big Males and Females only.
  • Pictures must be clear with no watermarks.
  • Pictures cannot be smaller than 300 DPI, 800 x 600 pixels
  • Pictures must be tasteful and fully clothed - Swimsuit and tasteful lingerie is allowed.
  • Nude is not allowed unless it is artistic.  No private areas shown.

EXAMPLE OF PICTURES WE DO NOT ACCEPT: 

 

       Cell Phone Camera small and Discolored              Picture has distracting background                     

         Webcam picture Fuzzy small & discolored                multiple people with people in the background

Poor lighting with dark background

EXAMPLE OF PICTURES WHICH ARE ACCEPTABLE:

   

Pictures are well lit, clear and centered, background is clear and natural, proper size.

Picture Categories - You can send in pictures for any of the below categories

  • Winter - Winter wear, coats etc. and Seasonal type of clothing, costumes and colors.  Winter backgrounds scenes
  • Spring - Spring wear, sweaters etc. bright, airy, wind blown. Spring backgrounds scenes
  • Summer - Swimsuits, wraps, summer dresses. Summer background scenes
  • Fall - Fall colors and sweaters.  Earthy natural settings. Fall Colors.
  • Ethnic - Ethnic prints and colors.  Ethnic combinations of fabric and prints.  Jewelry
  • Business - Suite and tie. City backgrounds
  • Sporty - Sports clothing of all types. participating in sports. Jogging, walking, basketball, football, Skating. Etc
  • Exercise - In exercise outfits, gym scene etc.
  • Gothic - Gothic clothing and costumes etc.

Solid backgrounds are also acceptable in all categories.  You can send in as many pictures of you in different categories as you desire.

YOUR PICTURES MUST BE ATTACHED IN THE EMAIL. NOT INSERTED IN THE BODY OF THE EMAIL.

When you send in your pictures include the following information:

Name:

Age;

Height:

Weight:

Sex:

Location:

Email address:

Contact phone number:

Address:

 

and the BELOW statement : 

 

By submitting my pictures to the www.LargeInCharge.com Cover Model Search. I am allowing LargeInCharge.com to use my images as they see fit.  I reserve rights to my pictures.  YOUR NAME AND DATE HERE

 

What will I receive if I am picked

  • You will be interviewed for the Month you appear as our Cover Model and remain in our database.
  • You will be entered in our Yearly Cover Model contest to win Cash and or Prizes at the end of the year.

Ready to Enter?

Send your information to raqui@largeincharge.com

 
 

Thank you for Finding out more about our Cover Model

Please send thoughts and comments to

articles@largeincharge.com

Raqui's Spot

     Raqui the Owner and Founder of LargeInCharge Magazine.  This spot is dedicated to her thoughts, vents, and observations of Plus Sized Life.  Raqui's  "Tell it like it is" style of writing has brought hundreds to her blogs and thousands to LargeInCharge.com.  There is so much behind the woman who has brought this magazine into existence.  Being Internationally known as a wrestler lead the way to modeling for companies and being featured in magazines and documentaries from all over the world.  She has made a career out of her size and personality.

 

     For the past 4 years moving into Size Acceptance and Empowerment.  She is a woman who doesn't let things get to her.  Knock her down for the moment but she will rise up stronger and better.  Being a speaker on behalf of many subjects and counseling Plus Sized people online her grace and style has made people love her.   Raqui continues to set an example of a powerful woman who will bend the world to fit her, her way.

Raqui Appears on The Christina Show                   Raqui Appears on The Maury Show

The Garbage Trucks - Positive and Negative
 



     I have done it, I have accomplished my first goal of 2008. I performed Spoken Word live in front of an audience.  I performed my poem "When I touch Myself" at my birthday celebration January 12th 2008.  It was a moment long over due.  I promised myself that I would really start to dig in deep this year.  Work with my Talents, so many things I say I will do and never do.  I am 33 years old now, and this year is going to be different.  I promise I will work toward setting free all the things inside me that I have always been proud of in private. I have always made it about others, and this year it's my time. My experience performing was amazing.  And I did it again on January 19th at another Curversity Entertainment event.  This time it was a new poem called "I am Plus Sized Beauty".  It wasn't as polished as I wanted but I am still proud.

 

      Still with all my positive efforts I could not escape the negativity the world throws.  Many times we say WHY WHY WHY!  I learned something, life works like a magnet.  Normally magnets are attracted to each other but only if you put the POSITIVE and NEGATIVE sides together. 

 

     It is the same in life the negative energy is everywhere.  It radiates out to you from people and you don't have to know them. They scream at you, curse, fight, may even attack you.  You can receive it in real life, via phone, on the internet, at any social function.  Usually you don't even know why, and rarely does it makes sense.  But guaranteed if your trying to feel good, be positive, have an open outlook or accomplish something.  You being to wonder why it seems like EVERYONE IS AFTER YOU!

 

It is like the below story I found at a site called www.HelpOthers.org (A website I frequent).

 

     "Many people are like Garbage Trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it, and if you let them, they'll dump it on you. When someone wants to dump on you, don't take it personally. Instead, just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. You'll be happier because you did."

 

     This story made me realize something I call "The Magnet Theory".  Why does it seem like when you try the most you are attacked the most.  Because negativity is attracted to you.  The hate and hurt in people festers like a sore.  When they see someone who is not suffering as they are, they want to pass on that bad feeling.  It is not usually a thought out process.  They themselves don't understand their own emotions. They feel all mixed up and crazy inside,  they don't know why, they don't understand why, and if you cant figure out the problem you cant find a solution.  The only thing they can do is release. 

 

     Unfortunately most times this release is pointed in the wrong direction.  Just by seeing someone in a place they want to be, either mentally, physically or emotionally.  That alone can trigger a negative person to feel the hurt, pain, HATE build.   You cant allow yourself to be the one they dump on.  Because you in return will feel unfairly attacked, and pass it on to someone else.  Because you now are holding all of that negative force they threw. You have to take control and make your resolve more powerful and if they wish to release it ends there.  You do not accept the Garbage no matter how attracted they are to you.  No matter how hard magnets try to stay together they can be pulled apart and you should shield yourself from all of the negative forces trying to stick to you.

 

     It is true "Misery does love Company."  I experience this a lot online.  Since I have been feeling good about my accomplishments and working hard toward being positive.  Others have attacked me for no reason.  But I saw it for what it was.  Something inside them is sad, hurt, and wrong.  I didn't and wont let it affect me.  Both times it was from another female who was plus sized.  Both times for no reason.  Out of no where came this HATE.  I wrote about it in my MySpace Blogs.  One is titled "FAT ON FAT HATE - Why do Plus Sized Women Participate"  the other is called "She said she wanted to be a Cover Model, she Brings HATE instead".  

 

You can read about both experiences by going to my blogs @ www.myspace.com/raquibx

 

     You may think that I suffered and was discouraged, I didn't let it get to me.  And if you encounter it you shouldn't either.  I write about these real life instances to let others know the Hate is out there but you don't have to fall into their negative cycle.  You take the negativity and then pass it on to others.  You can combat it with knowledge, positive energy, and good thoughts.  It does work.  Believe me I have dealt with my fair share of Garbage Trucks trying to dump on me.

 

     Continue on a good path that you wish to attain.  Me performing is something I want to do more of and the next event I am performing at is below.  I hope to see some positive smiling faces there.  Maybe yours,  if you come tell me that you are not a Magnet or a Garbage Truck.  I will know what you mean. :)

 

Phat Poetry - www.myspace.com/phatpoetrynyc

 
 

Raqui's Cool Links

www.raqui.com  

Raqui's My Space Page

Raqui's Yahoo 360 Page

Raqui's BBWVibe Page

 

Thank you for Reading Raqui's Spot

Please send thoughts and comments to

articles@largeincharge.com

Super Sized Sounds

with

Lynx

     Super Sized Sounds will be a Music Column that will feature those who are in the industry or up and coming who are size positive. Giving recognition to the plus sized people who are out there and showcasing themselves.  Reviews, Interview, News and more from our new writer Super Sized Spanishfly Lynx.

 

      Lynx Garcia, also known as "SUPERSIZE SPANISHFLY", is a Latina BBW from Queens NYC.  Lynx is an activist speaking out against size discrimination and began performing back in 1996 at social events for big beautiful women and big handsome males and their admirers. Her special mixture of sound held true as she sang, spat, danced and performed spoken word, soon she was in demand by Big and Beautiful parties nationwide.  Lynx taking her "look" and sound mainstream was rejected because of her size. She did not let this break her spirit, hurt her confidence or minimize her drive. Instead she rose up and started a public access show (LYNX' LAIR) aired in Queens on TIME WARNER QPTV . Combination of comedy and sexy style, she showcased underground artists of all walks of life. The response to her show was PHENOMENAL....in less than a year she has showcased many artist, some who moved to bigger and better things.

 

     Currently Lynx has caught the attention of Joey Mekkah of BLACK SOLARIS ENTERTAINMENT and found herself on the Grandmaster MELLE MEL's SOLO ALBUM "MUSCLES" featured on the hot latin hip-hop track called 'DIMELO", she is the only collaboration on the album. Lynx recently has started her own radio show on EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO.COM  called Ladies Night. EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO is #1 on the itunes network.

 

     WANT TO SUBMIT YOUR VOICE FOR REVIEW? See Below

Artist of the Month

 

My people, mi gente… finally a submission from a BHM, and he is on fire! I usually write a lot of ISH but this month I am going to get right to it.

 

Allow me to introduce this month’s featured artist Gab Gacha

 

Check out our Lynx's Interview the Amazing BOOBY VALENTINE on EGRADIO!

 Create your own banner at mybannermaker.com!

Artist of the Month

 

  

Gab Gacha

Album: Hustler's Prayer

Genre: Rap/Hip Hop

 

     Gab Gacha was born in money making Manhattan and raised in Crown City Corona Queens. At the age of 17 Gab began rapping as a hobby but the fever for the flavor of rhyming didn’t  affect him till he heard himself on wax (featured on The Beatnuts track) and he’s been setting the underground rap scene on fire ever since. So why is it that you haven’t heard about Gab Gacha? What does it matter? You are about to find out why he is one of the most sought after underground artists for collaborations and performances.

     Gab really shows his diverse skills in this album. He can be hardcore and gulley or he can kick it about love, money, family and the street life. One of my favorite tracks off of this album is “I Hate That N***A Gab” it’s fun and upbeat with a twist of truth.  He can be intense or he can be smooth and slick. I love this album; I didn’t come across a track I didn’t like. I am sure you will agree that Gab Gacha’s voice is distinct- his delivery is on point and his flow is flawless

 

     Gab Gacha is a big handsome male with a confident swag.  I asked Gab if his size had any bearing on his career. “It’s a situation, unfortunately being a big man in this industry means you are not marketable. If your not flossing with the jewelry and nice kicks and clothes then you ain’t bout it.  It (the weight) has been an obstacle for me but I’m just out here trying to do me, regardless.”

 

 

     Yes ya’ll this album is “The Breakthrough” with it‘s raw hip hop swag mixed with a Latin twist, come hear what “The Devils Pie” sounds like and wash it down with some “ Aguardiente”  to prepare the throat for some slick clever lyrics and flawless delivery  from guests such as Joell Ortiz,  Trujillo, Camilliano and Juganot.  It takes “Money Meng” and loyalty to “The Oath”, “For The Love”  of a “Champion” for “ The Pain” in this “State Of The Union” , that’s the “Hustler’s Prayer”.

 

Gab Gacha delivers an album that is sure not to disappoint the true hip hop head.

 

 

Hustler’s Prayer is available for purchase through Gab’s myspace page

@ http://www.myspace.com/gabgacha

  

 

Warning: Explicit Lyrics

   
Want to send in your Voice in for review? Are you a singer, rapper, or poet who performs spoken word?  Up and Coming, already established?  Contact Lynx through her Myspace page or email articles@largeincharge.com and all information will be forwarded to her (PUT "FOR LYNX" IN THE SUBJECT AREA) 

You must be a Size Positive Artist, or a Plus Sized Supporter.

Thanks for reading

Super Sized Sounds with Lynx

articles@largeincharge.com

 

Lynx Cool Links

www.myspace.com/supersizespanishfly

www.myspace.com/somemorelynx

www.Extravagangstaradio.com

From the Plus Side

with

Emily Smiltneck

     From the Plus side will be column dedicated to short stories that deal with all aspects of Plus size Life.  Emily Smiltneck was chosen for this position because of her dedication, and realistic writing style. She captures the emotional and mental rollercoaster those who are Plus Sized go through.

 

     Emily Susanne Smiltneck lives in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan (pretty much dead center in the middle of nowhere). She is a substitute teacher, and has recently started a tutoring business. Emily is currently working on several writing projects, including a historical fiction novel and several collections of poetry.

Emily Smiltneck receives recognition in Neighbors Daily Press - See article below

    

     It is a great joy when our fellow Plus Sized people receive recognition for their life's work.  Join me in this Joyous moment when one of our LargeInCharge writers is seen for her contribution and great dedication to her goals in life.  Click the images above to read the article about our dear Emily. When the page open click on the article to zoom in and read it.

 

A Familiar Stranger 

by Emily Suzanne Smiltneck 

            Crystal slammed the car door with a sigh and stretched the seatbelt taut across her voluminous body to snap it securely into place.  She dropped her purse to the floor, making sure to tuck the strap into the vice grip created by her stomach resting on her thigh.  That way she wouldn’t need to remove her seatbelt and perform a feat of acrobatics to reach it, if need be, during the trip.

            And there was a good chance that she would need it.  She pictured the bright orange bottle rolling around in the bottom of her purse.  It helped just knowing it was there, waiting to help her through the night if she couldn’t make it on her own.  Going out had always been a difficult thing for her, and it had only gotten worse over the years as she had gained weight and grown more self conscious.  But now, with the friendly little orange bottle in hand, she was finally able to face the world again.  There had been a time when she wasn’t so lucky.

            The door on the driver’s side opened and Jack got in.  Involuntarily, Crystal tensed and she pulled herself closer to the car door.  She manipulated her face into a relaxed expression, but the force it took to do so made every muscle in her face ache tremendously.  She flinched when Jack turned his head and looked at her.

            “Man, you gotta relax.  You’re acting like I’m gonna haul off and rail ya or something.  I’m not gonna hurt you, for Christ’s sake.  I’m takin’ you to a bar, that’s all.”

            His words brought tears to Crystal’s eyes.

            “Now you’re crying?  Damn it, I wish I could understand you.”  Jack started the car and backed out of the driveway, almost squealing the tires when he abruptly shifted the car into drive and sent it hurtling down the road.  Crystal gripped her seatbelt with both hands and tried to blink back her tears.  They would only bring her humiliation, not relief.  Why, she wanted to say.  Why do we have to go?  Isn’t my company enough for yuo?  But she knew she couldn’t.  They had discussed the whole thing the night before.  Not discussed.  Argued.  Fought.  Screamed, yelled, cursed.  And in the end, Crystal had agreed that she owed it to him, just this once.  She owed him this one night out with his friends, but only because he was content to stay in with her so often.  Only because it was his birthday.  But she wished he would have chosen a different bar.

            “Hey—you okay?”  Jack asked, reaching out to touch Crystal’s leg.  He was speaking softly now.  Even so, she tensed once again.  “Just relax, hon.  It’s gonna be okay.  I’m sorry I’m pushing you on this, but I just once wanna go out with the guys and bring you along.  They always got some chick with ‘em, some of ‘em got a new one every week.  We been together for months and I never get to bring you out ‘n show ya off.”

            But why would you want to? a voice inside Crystal’s head screamed.  They all have skinny chicks falling all over them, skinny chicks who put on push-up bras and miniskirts and red lipstick and strut their stuff all over the place.  Why do you want me, why would you show me off?  What’s so great about me?  But, of course, she couldn’t say that to him.  It would just make him angry, like it always did when she questioned his attraction to her.  He couldn’t understand that part of her, the part full of doubts and insecurities.  No one could. 

            A response.  He had reached out to her, apologized, complimented her, and he was waiting for a response.  She had to gather her thoughts, calm the tremor inside of her, and answer him.  She clenched her fists and fixed her eyes carefully on the dashboard.

            “I’m—I’m sorry.”  Oh, God.  That had been the wrong thing to say.  He hated it when she apologized, and besides, now the tears were coming back.  She grasped her purse strap and lifted it toward her, then dropped it.  A quick glance at Jack told her that he had seen it anyway, and she didn’t have to look at his face to sense his disapproval, his frustration.  She could hear it clearly in his voice.

            “Come on, baby.  You really need to take those?  Already?  Just relax.  This is supposed to be fun, Crys.”

            Something inside of her snapped.  He wasn’t being intentionally cruel, but he had no idea what it was like to be her, and he acted like he thought taking pills to get through every trip outside of the house was her idea of a great time.  She exploded.

            “Screw you!  Yes, I need them already.  You’re making me go out with all your idiot friends who are going to make fun of me if they even bother to talk to me at all, and spend the night with their skinny blonde bitch bimbos of girlfriends who will look at me like I’m some kinda snake and not say a word to me all night long, and you’re making me go to a freakin’ nudie bar so I can see a bunch of naked woman running around who all have what you want and can’t have because you’re stuck with me!  So yes, I need the pills!”

            Shaking, Crystal lifted her purse again and dug for her pill bottle.  She removed the lid, and shook one pill into the palm of her hand.  She leaned forward to see around her enormous breasts and stomach.  There was only one bottle in the drink holder between she and Jack.  And it was Jack’s.  She couldn’t very well ask him for a drink.  She bit her tongue to work up some saliva in her bone-dry mouth, set the pill on her tongue, and gulped it down.  The very act of doing so calmed her a little.  Silently, she awaited Jack’s response to her outburst.  Instead of speaking, he reached out and turned the volume on the radio to a deafening level.  The thundering music hurt Crystal’s head, but it offered her protection, too.  It kept Jack from hearing her sputtering breaths, the tiny moans that escaped her lips when they hit a bump in the road.  Every time her mostly silent sobs made a sound, she waited for him to stop the car, pull over, force her to get out.  He didn’t, of course.  But they had traveled several miles before he finally turned the radio back down to speak. 

“Crap.  What’s your problem?  I told you a thousand times you’re wrong.  I don’t know what I can do to make you see it.  You’re just stuck inside your own head.  If I didn’t wanna be with you, I wouldn’t be.  I didn’t just adopt you like a stupid little puppy ‘cause I thought you needed some to take care of you, you know.  I saw ya around for months and wanted to ask ya out but you were so damn quiet I was afraid to talk to ya.  Then I finally managed to talk to ya and got to know ya and I liked ya even more.  I tell you that, like, every day.  You make it so hard to like you sometimes.”

“Well, I’m sorry I’m not the kinda girl that makes everything easy.  I’m fat and that’s just the way I am.  Accept it or leave me alone!”

“Good God!  If I wanted to be with one of the ‘skinny bitches’ you’re always talkin’ about, I would be, and I’m not.  I’m with you.  You’re right, you don’t make things easy.  But it don’t got nothin’ to do with bein’ fat and you know it.  It has to do with your own dumb ass ideas about what I like and what I want.  And if you think that low of me, think I’d lie about wanting to be with you for God knows what stupid reason, then I really do have no idea what the hell I’m doing with you.  Get over it!”

“I wanted to stay home and celebrate your birthday together.  I thought I’d give you a great night so you could relax and enjoy yourself, and instead you decided to take me out to a strip club and make me watch naked women trampling around and showing me exactly what all is wrong with me.  How’s that supposed to make me feel?”

“Oh.  Oh!  We’ve been over this a thousand times already.  You wanted me to have a good birthday, and you were gonna make me cake, blah blah blah.  That’s great, Crys, you know I appreciate it, but sometimes, it’s just fun to go out and have a good time.  Frank and the guys wanted to take me out to the girly bar and yes, I thought it sounded like fun.  I thought it’d be fun for both of us.  You’re always talkin’ about how you’re getting’ braver and ya wanna try new things and I thought it might spice things up.  You never been there, you have no idea what it’s like.  You’ll be surprised, trust me.  You can’t just sit home all the time thinkin’ the world hates you ‘cause you’re fat.  Give ‘em a chance to like you for once!”

“Easy for you to say.  You don’t have to go through every day hearing people say nasty things about you behind your back.  You don’t have to hope like hell when you go to a restaurant that there’ll be a table open ‘cause you can’t fit in the booths.  You don’t have to sit home alone all the time ‘cause no one wants to go out with you—”

“Shut up!  When was the last time you heard someone say something about you behind your back.  Tell me that.  Because I spend a awful lotta time with you and I sure as hell never heard it.”

“Well, I—”

“It’s all in your head.  And you’re right, I don’t have to hope there’s gonna be a table open at every restaurant I go to.  I choose to, because it means I’m there with you and I wouldn’t wanna go anyway if I wasn’t with you!  And you sit home alone ‘cause no one wants to go out with you?  Argh!  I wanna go out with you all the time and you’ll never go.  I gotta go out with my friends and have ‘em asking me every frickin’ time we go somewhere where you are, why they never see this girlfriend I’m always talkin’ about.  I want you to go out with me, damn it, so the other people in my life can get to know the woman I fell in love with!  So don’t tell me you sit home alone ‘cause no one wants to—”

Crystal’s voice was barely more than a whisper when she broke in, but the fact that she turned to look at Jack when she spoke broke him off mid-sentence.

“You love me?”

 Jack pulled onto the unpaved road that led to the bar.  The only sound was the pingpingping of gravel hitting the underside of the car.  When he spoke, the quiet gravity of his voice reflected the silent wonder in Crystal’s.

“Of course I do.  I love everything about you ‘cept that you don’t love yourself.  Baby, I’d do anything for you.  Including this.  Maybe it ain’t a great place to take you, but I got my reasons.  And I wantcha to start seeing the fun side of life.  For me, ‘cause I wanna have fun with you, but mostly for you, ‘cause I want everyone else to see the side of you I get to see when we’re alone.”

“You never told me you loved me before.”

“I didn’t think I had to.”

He pulled into a parking spot and they got out of the car without speaking.  Crystal leaned against the car, took a brush and some Kleenex from her purse, and tried to dab some of the wet redness from her eyes and make at least her hair look presentable.  Quietly, they walked toward the door together. 

Inside, they made their way to a table where a few of Jack’s friends were waiting.  They had obviously started drinking already, because they were very boisterously happy. 

“Hey, man.  Good to see ya!  Happy b-day!” one of them yelled as they approached.  “And there’s the girl!  Woot, woot!  She really does exist!”

Crystal’s face flushed and she quickly dropped into a chair.  She tried to paste a smile on her face so she’d look bright and fun, like she imagined Jack wanted her to, but she was trembling so violently that she couldn’t.  It seemed to her that every eye in the place was on her.  The room was so dark and so full of people that, rationally, she knew that hardly anyone could even see her, but she could still feel their eyes and hear their thoughts.  She was too fat, too frumpy, to be here.  She didn’t belong.  And any second now, Jack’s friends would notice that and voice their disapproval.

She heard Jack tell her that he was going to get them some drinks and nodded without looking up.  It was easier to study the table than to risk seeing one of the girls strutting around in skimpy clothes, one of the girls whose mere existence attracted men.  It was easier to avoid meeting anyone’s eyes, avoid the pain of awkward conversation, lose herself in wondering what it would be like to be one of those confident, half-naked girls for just one day, what it would be like to feel so comfortable in her own skin, to live without a constant nagging fear that every person who saw her was thinking horrible thoughts about her just because of the way she looked.  They must have such a feeling of power, with the ability to attract men at will.

But she had attracted a man.  Jack had said he loved her.  A tiny smile turned Crystal’s lips upward.  He really wasn’t just using her to keep him busy until he found someone thinner, prettier, better.  He wasn’t just a nice guy who felt sorry for her.  He loved her!

A hand on Crystal’s shoulder made her jump and look up.  One of Jack’s friends, the one who had greeted them so loudly when they came in, was standing next to her.

“Hey, what’s your name again?”

Crystal tried to answer him, but when she opened her mouth, no sound came out.  She cleared her throat and tried again.

“Crys—” she started in a whisper, then breathed deeply and tried one last time.  “Crystal.”  She wanted to ask him what his name was, reward him for his efforts, but she couldn’t find the words.

“Well, hi, Crystal.  I’m Frank.  Good to meet you.  Jack’s talkin’ about ya all the time, and he made ya sound so good we kinda thought he was makin’ ya up.”

Crystal managed a feeble giggle.

“Anyway, I just—oh, hey, babe.”  He stopped as a dark-haired woman came up behind him and wrapped her arm around his shoulders.  “This is Crystal.  Jack’s woman.”

Jack’s woman?  I didn’t know Jack was the type to own anyone,” she replied, hitting him lightly on the back of the head.  She turned to Crystal.

“Men!  I’m Loretta, but everyone calls me Lori.  Love those shoes!”  She slid into the chair next to Crystal.

Crystal couldn’t believe it.  No insults, no strange looks.  None that she had noticed anyway.  Jack’s friends actually seemed to be accepting her.  Which confused her, but she didn’t have much time to think about it because Jack returned and handed her a drink.

“Here ya go.  I see you met Lori.”

“Mm hmm.  Thanks,” she said to him.  He flashed her an appreciative grin, as if to thank her for acting human again, for attempting to carry on a conversation with someone.

And succeeding somewhat, too.  As Jack’s friends gathered around, many of them greeted Crystal warmly and several drew her into conversations.  She started to relax a little.

And then the lights dimmed.  Several girls in skimpy clothing and sexy lingerie paraded onto stage.  There were nurses and bikers and schoolgirls and girls dressed in plain old fashioned teddies.  They all looked the same to Crystal: skinny, tall, and tanned.  Each had different clothes and different hair, but they all seemed to share the same body.  And every guy in the place was staring at them, totally entranced.

Crystal glanced up at Jack.  He was staring at them just like everyone else, with a smile on his face.  A smile that angered Crystal, created a twinge of panic within her.  Sure, he had said he loved her. but without that kind of body, that kind of outgoing personality, could she really be enough for him?  He must like these girls, or he wouldn’t be here, wouldn’t be watching them without even blinking, the way he was.  Tears welled up in Crystal’s eyes.  She watched the other women, the ones who were there with Jack’s friends.  They all had their arms snaked around their dates’ necks or their hands resting on their dates’ legs.  They looked as if they were enjoying themselves, but they were staking their claim, too.  Letting their presence be known.  Reminding their dates that these dancers might be fun to watch, but it wasn’t the dancers who’d be going home with them.

Crystal longed to be a part of their silent proclamation, but she couldn’t.  What if Jack really wanted one of those women to notice him, take a liking to him?  If that’s what he wanted, it didn’t seem fair to keep that from him.  And that didn’t seem fair, either—the fact that Crystal didn’t feel like she had the right to expect her boyfriend to be loyal.  She wondered what it was that gave other women the confidence to assert themselves, to feel as though they deserved to be appreciated.  Whatever it was, Crystal knew that she had none of it. 

The girls all filed off stage and the crowd burst into enthusiastic applause.  Crystal half-heartedly clapped a few times while she was wishing that she could just reach out and touch Jack, remind him that she was there, be comforted by his presence, but she couldn’t make herself do it.  An offstage voice announced that the evening’s first featured dancer, Candy, was about to take the stage.  Jack joined his friends in hooting and hollering as a blonde girl dressed in pink danced into view.

“Wooo!  That’s what I’m taking about!”  Frank called.  Jack took a swig of beer and joined the others in their merrymaking.

“Yeah!  Sexy!” he shouted.  Crystal watched him for a minute, but he never even looked at her.  Crystal felt completely invisible.  Finally, unable to take it anymore, unable to hold back her tears, she mumbled something about the bathroom and fled.  When she ducked into the bathroom, though, it was full of women in tank tops and tight jeans who were brandishing brushes and hairspray and cigarettes.  She turned and fled once again, this time through the bar’s door and outside.  How could all those women just sit there and watch it happening, be okay with their boyfriends and husbands ogling half-naked women with perfect bodies?  There was no way she could go back inside.  Crystal took out her cell phone and dialed her mother’s number.

While she waited for her mother to come rescue her, Crystal looked through the window of the bar.  She half hoped Jack would get up and come looking for her, comfort her, convince her to come back in.  Why would he, though?  As far as he knew, she was in the bathroom.

The girl in pink, Candy, danced off stage and Crystal could faintly hear the loudspeakered voice once again announcing a name as the crowd waited expectantly.  For lack of anything better to do, Crystal kept watching.  It would be at least fifteen minutes before her mother arrived.

A leg with a red, patent leather, high-heeled shoe strapped to its foot appeared and then disappeared.  Crystal strained to see through the window.  The leg had almost looked as if it belonged to a big girl.  But it couldn’t have.  The dirty window or the smoky air inside must have distorted her vision.  Then an arm briefly appeared, hand waving at the crowd, before tucking itself back behind the curtain.  Crystal could have sworn there was a bit of jiggle to the upper part of the arm as it waved.  But that wasn’t possible.  There was no such thing as a fat exotic dancer.

Except, there was.  She was dressed in red silky lingerie with thick, dark hair streaming down her back.  And her creamy skin was not stretched taut over jutting bones.  Instead, it curved gently over rolling flesh.  Her thighs were large and strong and pillowy.  Her belly spilled over the top of her panties in bulging glory and her upper arms jiggled softly as she gyrated across the stage.

Crystal couldn’t take her eyes from the woman.  Where did she get the courage to strut around on stage with hundreds of eyes on her?  Crystal had a hard time jut leaving her  house most days because of the reaction she got from strangers, and here this woman was flaunting her fat, celebrating it.

A car pulled into the parking lot.  Crystal’s mother.  But now she didn’t want to leave.  She looked through the window one last time.  A shiver ran up her spine.  A delicious shiver, almost like a shiver of attraction.   She wasn’t attracted to the woman, though.  Not like that.  But as she reluctantly got into her mother’s car, the truth washed over her.  It was a sort of attraction.  She was attracted to the woman’s lack of self consciousness, to her comfort in her own skin, her confidence.  She was everything Crystal wanted to be, everything she had always told herself she couldn’t be, because she wasn’t thin, athletic, beautiful.

A woman Crystal didn’t even know was taking every assumption Crystal had ever made about herself from someplace deep inside of her and tearing them to shreds, one by one.  It was an uncomfortable feeling.  But a good one, in many ways.  Crystal nestled into the car seat and lost herself in thought. 

Jack put on his shoes and coat slowly.  He  hadn’t been back to the girlie bar since the night he’d been there with Crystal, but Frank insisted that it was time he get on with life, which was exactly what he had been avoiding for the past few months.

He’d been having a great time that night.  Watching the girls, hanging with his crew, Crystal by his side.  The perfect birthday.  And then Crystal had gone to the bathroom, except she hadn’t come back.  A half hour had gone by before he’d really gotten worried.  At the time, he’d been angry.  He figured she’d gone off to cry somewhere, and just before the part of the show he’d wanted her to see, too.

The main reason he’d taken her out there was to see Bountiful, the big, beautiful dancer, the one he liked best.  He’d figured it’d help her see that she didn’t need to limit herself because of her weight, that she could enjoy herself in spite of it, or because of it.  But she’d run off and missed the point of the whole night.  And he hadn’t heard from her since.

He’d finally found someone at the bar who’d seen her get in a car with someone, and when he’d called her, her mother had answered and said she didn’t want to talk to him.  And so it had gone.  She still wouldn’t speak to him, although he called her every few days just to be sure.

Jack had been out a few times since then, with girls that Frank and the guys had set him up with, but it just hadn’t been the same.  Crystal was beautiful and smart and funny and, even with her insecurities, the only person he wanted to be with.  He hadn’t been lying when he told her he loved her.

He was waiting outside when Frank’s truck pulled into the driveway. 

“You ready?” Frank asked, grinning.  “Gonna be a fun one tonight.”

“Yeah, I guess.  You are way too pumped, man.”

“Hell, yeah, I’m pumped!  Amateur night!”

The rest of the ride passed in silence other than a little small talk every so often.  When they arrived, Jack ordered himself a couple of beers and they settled at a table near the stage.

“Better be a good show.  I didn’t really wanna come out here, ya know.”

“Get over it, man.  Ya know what they say—fall off the horse, get right back on.”

The speakers crackled, effectively ending their conversation, which was fine with Jack.  He didn’t want to end up talking about Crystal all night.

“Welcome!” blared a voice from the loudspeaker.  “Thanks for coming to amateur night.  We have a great show coming up after a few announcements.”

Jack’s mind drifted as the voice announced drink specials and upcoming dancers.  The guys that Frank had dragged out had all shown up alone for once, so at least he didn’t have to sit there and watch them with their girlfriends.  He still wished Crystal was there with him, though.  He missed having her—a new voice over the loudspeaker brought Jack back to the present.  A girl was introducing herself from somewhere offstage, and the quiet, timid, trembling voice took his breath away.  So did the words she was saying.

“Hi.  I—I’m a little shy, I guess, but I wanted to do this tonight.  I wanted to do it to prove something to myself, and to someone else.  I screwed up a relationship a few months back because I was too caught up in my own problems to see things from my boyfriend’s point of view.  I did something really stupid just because I was afraid and then afterwards I didn’t have the guts to try and fix it.  I didn’t know how, really.

“But something I saw out here the night it all happened changed my life in a lot of ways.  Not all at once, but I’ve grown a lot over the past few months.  Losing the love of your life will do that.  So, here I am.  I thought this would be a good place to try and fix what got broken here.  I asked his friends to make sure he was here tonight to see my—my metamorphosis.  I just want him to know that I’m trying to change.  And if he’s not here, well—I guess I’m single.”  There was a soft giggle and then the curtains parted and the owned of the voice walked out cautiously.  Jack’s eyes were glued to her as she walked, in time with the music, to the center of the stage and slowly began to dance.  Her beautiful, voluptuous body was clad in sparkling whiteness and seemed to glow in the smoky blue air.

Jack wondered if she could see him.  He wanted to get up, go right up on the stage with her, tell her that everything was okay.  But his weak knees would not allow him to stand.  His stomach was churning and his body paralyzed with hope, fear, anticipation.  By pure animalistic attraction, too.

And then, finally, the music was ending and she was sinking to her hands and knees, looking out over the audience seductively.  While the room responded with applause and catcalls, she turned to face Jack.  Their eyes met and they each broke into a broad grin. 

By the time she was walking proudly of the stage and the faceless loudspeaker voice was encouraging the audience to give it up for Crystal, Jack had made his way to the backstage door.  When the door swung open, he was waiting with open arms to welcome the most familiar stranger who had ever come into his life.

   
   
 

Thanks for reading

From the Plus Side with Emily Smiltneck

articles@largeincharge.com

 

Emily's Cool Links

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Good 4 U Food

Recipes for Good... Healthy Food

By: Xander - The Food Dude

   

Time's a Wastin

by Xander The Food Dude

     There's something surreal about the act of getting one’s Last Will and Testament done.  At 38, I’d never really done any major considering of it until I was diagnosed with Diabetes and the implication that go along with it.  But, like everyone else I do more thinking or more precisely “thinking about doing”, rather than doing.  Until, that is I got “The Will”.  The oddest thing about it is that even in the process of talking to the lawyer it seems such an easy thing to do.  Generally speaking the who’s, the what’s, the where’s and why’s all come out like that’s what always was supposed to happen.

     Until, that is, you get it into your hand.  At the top in large Old English print.. “The Last Will and Testament” of …. (you fill in the blank).  Then it sort of hits you.  This document is solely created for when I’m dead, no longer breathing, fish-bait, worm-bait, back to whence that I came, end end, its over, and asta la vista, baby.  I guess it kind of hit me in an unprepared way.  As I had seen a variety of other wills in my life, this one was mine.  It got me to thinking over the time that was wasting away.  Having ended a four year relationship last September, and still feeling the affects from it, got me to think someday, while hopefully not soon, but soon in the cosmic sense of the  word, I’ll be dead.  So I started thinking again about all the things I’d spent so much time thinking about thinking about it….

     I started making a list of all the stuff I thought about doing, but never doing… when I got to five full pages of it, I think I finally understood where some of my discontentment, some of that feeling that I never really “did” anything with my life was coming from.

     Now it would be all too easy to stop at this point ant tell you to get off your butt, quit wasting time, live your dreams.  But I’m smarter than that.  I too have a full time, or more than full time job, home to take care of, family to take care of, etc etc etc. by the time I get done I’d have 10 pages of things explaining away why I couldn’t do those five pages of things.  And then it hit me.

     I started looking at the list of 10 pages to see what didn’t actually “need to get done”.  Got down to 9 pages.  Then I looked to see what didn’t need to be done so often, like mow the lawn, could be every two week or every week and a half or whatever, but does it REALLY need to be done every week.  I don’t think so.  Down to 6 pages.  Now I’m looking for grouping of things.  Things that are like that while doing one I’m actually as close to or doing something else at the same time.  Not many of those as you can imaging, but I shave it down to 5 and a half pages.  The run through… items that I can get someone else to do or pay to have it done….  Interesting that I take off another page.  I find that looking at the list of pay items versus my time saving is substantial and I realize what they mean when they that time is more valuable than money.  I get down to 4 pages.  Last look through… things that I can get done or done faster with help from others.  This gets me down one more page.  In the end I have 3 pages of pure essentials that “I” have to do or it won’t get done.

     I start thinking about my Will, and I ask myself.  On these pages, what are things that no one will do if I die.  Oddly it gets me down to 2 pages.   The last two pages I clumped into like categories of “Why I did them”.  I came up with two categories.  Pay bills, but it was for the comfort of myself and family and friends, and show my family and friends I love them.

     I looked at my List of things I always wanted to do.  Went through the same process to weed out items, group, reduce, finish.  I wound up with two categories.  The first was stupid ideas that I’ll never actually do, but it sounds like a really dumb to do like bungee jumping.  The other category was things I wanted to do to spend time with my friends and family.

     I think I figured out that there is time for everything I want to do.  Things that we want in our lives are very interrelated and connect in some way.  More often than not by family and friends.

    Try doing the list thing and see where you find your thought are.  I bet they don’t turn out too different than mine.

Until next time, be well my friends, make that list, times a’ wastin’

Xander's Recipe of the Month

Da' SuperBowl Sandwhich

 

 INGREDIENTS:

1 1/2 pounds ground beef

1 cup chopped onion

2 cups shredded cabbage

1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley

1/2 teaspoon sa

1/2 teaspoon pepper

2 teaspoons finely chopped

fresh garlic

1 pinch crushed red pepper

1/2 cup ketchup

2 cups shredded sharp

Cheddar cheese

2 (1 pound) loaves frozen

bread dough, thawed

1 egg

1 tablespoon milk

coarse salt and cracked black pepper

 

 

 

DIRECTIONS:

 

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).

 

In a skillet over medium-high heat, brown ground beef, and drain excess fat. Reduce heat to medium, and stir in onions, cabbage, parsley, garlic, red pepper, salt and black pepper. Cook until cabbage has wilted. Remove from heat, and stir in Cheddar cheese and ketchup.

 

Divide each loaf of thawed bread dough into four equal pieces. On a lightly floured surface, roll each piece into a 6 inch circle. Place about 1/2 cup of the beef mixture onto the center of each one. Carefully pinch together the edges to seal. Place buns seam side down on a lightly greased or nonstick cookie sheet. Whisk together egg and milk with a fork. Brush the tops of the buns with the egg mixture and sprinkle with coarse salt and cracked black pepper.

 

Bake for 25 to 30 minutes in the preheated oven, until nicely browned. Serve hot with condiments of choice

   
 

Thank you for Reading Good Food 4U

By Xander the Food Dude

Please send thoughts and comments to

articles@largeincharge.com

 

Time to tell it like it is!

    

     This is an experiment in Confession, you can anonymously confess, or let everyone know something that you feel.  Every Month we will post all the confessions and you can come and view them and be inspired to make your own.

 

     You can send in a picture,  You can make a graphic,  You can just send in your written words.  You can do it anonymously and get something off your chest.  You can let everyone know who you are and liberate yourself.

 

     Hope you enjoy Confession!  Send in your own check the bottom of this page!

 

CONFESSIONS



  
 

 

Every year I say I am going to Lose weight.  It has been my resolution for over 10 years.

This year my resolution is to be happy and live regardless of my weight.

 

****CONFESSION*****

 

Raqui I talked to her, you told me too.  Thank you I LOVE HER!

 

 

****CONFESSION*****



For Christmas I got exactly what I wanted.  My husband told me he would never trade me for anything in the world.

He says my size turns him on more than when I was slimmer.

 

****CONFESSION*****


  
 

You told me to read this website, you said it would be good for me. 

That it would make me understand life as a big person.

I hope your reading this, Thank you and I wish you would believe me when I say I want to be your Boyfriend!


 

****CONFESSION*****

 


 

I looked into your eyes and realized that you are the only Big Cuddly Teddy I want to hug!

 

 

****CONFESSION*****

 

 
Send in your own Confession,  Use the email to the Right and send in a your confession, weather it is a graphic you made (NO BIGGER THAN 5x7 92 DPI) or a picture you saw.  You can also just send in text words.  Your Confession can be Anonymous or you can tell everyone who you are.

Send in your Confession NOW!

Thanks for reading Confession

Send in your Confession to

articles@largeincharge.com

 

Large In Charge Guest Spot

We want to hear and see your talents!

 

One of our favorite parts of the Magazine.  The Guest Spot is for our readers to submit there talents to be viewed.  We want to see all you wonderful supporters making moves of your own.  If you write poetry, short stories, commentaries, or just thoughts in general, please submit them to us.  If your a designer we want to see pictures of your clothing.   We would love to include your talents in our newsletter.  We hope you take an active part in the L.I.C. newsletter. Send in your article, poetry, comments to - articles@largeincharge.com

NOTE: The Opinion of the writer is not always the opinion of The Large in Charge Staff.  We support the Right to all views.  We do not Condemn or Approve writing based on our personal thoughts.  We approve writing based on if the subject is a concern for the BBW / SSBBW / BHM Community.  Thank you for your writing and please send in those articles!  - The Large in Charge Staff

 

WRITERS SEARCH

Looking for new Writers for 2008

 

 

About Our Writers Search:

     LargeInCharge is looking for Volunteer Writers for our Online Magazine.  We are looking for Males and Females who wants to write about issues that concern large people.  We need people who will be dedicated to writing columns or doing an interview once a month in a timely manner.  You do not need to be a professional writer,  Good writing, and typing skills, the ability to spell check, understand grammar and have your article sent in on time is what we are looking for.

 

     We want to bring the voice of the people to the people.  Give them something they can related to and enjoy on a monthly basis.

 

    LargeInCharge is a non-profit Online magazine which is why we are asking for Volunteer's.  This is a great opportunity to brush up on your writing skills and learn different writing styles.

 

NOTICE:  This is not a responsibility to be taken lightly.  You must be able to hand in one article on time monthly for a period of at least 12 months.  If you wish to continue after 12 months then you may stay if your track record is good.

 

We are looking for writers for the following Positions.

  • Big Character Review - a writer to analyze and comment on Big characters in Movies and TV and magazines.  Either cartoon or real life actors.

  • A Big Man's World - a writer who will write about living life as a Big Man in this Society.

  • Product Review - A writer to search for and find products that are beneficial for plus sized people.

  • Make- up, Medicine and Body - External to internal make your body feel and look great!

  • Inspiration - Inspirational stories, interviews and articles on loving yourself as is.

  • My Life Before and After Gastric bypass - we are looking for a writer who will document there life before and after this controversial surgery.  Positive and Negative experiences are welcome.

  • The Erotic Phatty - Erotic stories and poetry for the Full Figured form.

 

Would you like to be a writer?

HOW TO APPLY TO BE A WRITER!!!

 

Interested in applying for a writers position?

 

     Send in the information below along with a clear photograph of yourself and one complete article at least 300 words.  Please make sure your article is matching the position your applying for.  If you are a versatile writer and applying for more than one position send in one article for each position.

 

     Any submissions maybe be used in the magazine as a guest article or other wise if you do not receive a position.  If you are picked for a position it will be used as a back up for your column in case of emergency.

 

I want to Apply for a Writers Position:

 

My Name is:

My email address is:

My Phone Number is:

My location/address is:

The position I am applying for is:

 

Here is my article:

 

I am allowing LargeInCharge to use my image and article as they see fit.  By typing my name and date I understand that I agree to the above.   NAME/DATE

 

Send to: raqui@largeincharge.com

 

Thank you

Send in your Work to Appear in LargeInCharge

We love our guest writers, they help us to make LargeInCharge more personal and reader friendly place.  We bring the people words from there own peers.  If you always wanted to write but never knew what to do with your thoughts and opinions.  Send them in to us we love to feature you in our guest spot.

 

What type of entries do we accept?

  • Original Articles that have not been placed in publication.

  • Size Empowerment Stories

  • Discovery of Size Acceptance

  • Romance of Large Size

  • Poetry - at least 25 lines in length

  • Complaints about Society

  • Complaints about what is provided for Big People

  • Complaints about Health Care

  • Weight Loss Surgery Experiences

  • Dealing with Doctors

  • The Joy of being Big

  • Learning to Love yourself

  • etc.

How to Submit my Article for review?

  • Check your article for spelling and correct format, We do not edit articles.
  • Attach your article either in Word, Text Format, or in the Body of your email.
  • In your email send your Real Name, E-mail and Address (state, location).
  • Under your Name and Address include date, and the line. "I give www.largeincharge.com and there owners, permission to use my written article. I am submitting it for there use at their discretion."
  • Include a picture if you so wish in .jpg or .gif format and a brief description of yourself.
 

Send in your stories, poems, etc. to

articles@largeincharge.com

 

 

Ask Raqui

Ask your Questions and We will answer!

Send your question to Raqui - articles@largeincharge.com

NOTE: The Opinion of Raqui  is just that. I do not claim to be professional or to solve your problems.  I can however give you a real answer that may help you out.

Ask Raqui
Q:  Valentine's day is coming any suggestions for my Lady and her thick frame?
 
Ramond
Raqui: Here is a link to a site that has some really nice lingerie up to size 5XL. look in sleepwear section.

Roman's - www.romans.com

Q:  Hi Raqui, I didn't get to come to your Birthday Party will you be reading poetry again soon?

Jen

Raqui: Yes I will in fact February 10th a Sunday Afternoon.  You can get the information @ www.myspace.com/phatpoetrynyc

 

Q:   Are you going to Vegas Bash this year?  I hope so..

Unknown

Raqui:  I have been trying to get to Vegas Bash for 2 year now.  But because of financial reasons I couldn't make it.  If I am able to get my hands on enough money I will be there with bells on :)

Q:   I went to your Birthday celebration and Khari was great.  I loved your poem it was wonderful, were you scared performing it?

 

LL

Raqui:  I wasn't scared, I wanted everything to go right. I wanted to perform my poem the way I feel it and it went well. But I was nervous because I didn't want to mess up.  You can say it was a challenge that I had to step up to and a goal that is long over due.
 

Thank you for Reading Ask Raqui

Please send thoughts, comments and questions to

articles@largeincharge.com

Large In Charge

Fashion Furious

BBW/BHM Fashion of the Month

     We all hate how the Fashion Industry is just scratching the surface when it comes to Large Sized Fashion.  But I have found out that many clothing stores and online companies are beginning to take up the slack.  Creative BBW, SSBBW and BHM's are making there own clothing or mix matching and finding basic everyday wear and night club wear. 

     Making it affordable is what can be hard so showcase your wonderful finds here.  If your a regular shopper, sew your own clothing or a designer showcase your clothing here by submitting a picture for Fashion Furious of the month.

 

Fashion Furious of the Month

How to send in your Fashion Find. Send a Clear Picture as an attachment

and use the Format Below to describe your Fashion Furious picture.

Email to Raqui:  articles@largeincharge.com

Fashion Find by: Raqui

Fashion Type:  Intimates and Sleepwear

Description:  Get ready for Valentines day with some sexy sweet Lingerie in sizes up to 5xl weather you like it long or short you will find it here and even corsets up to size 50DDD.

 

Roman's - www.romans.com

 

 

   

Send in your Fashion Furious Picture and Details to

articles@largeincharge.com

Large In Charge

Product of the Month!

What is good for Big Sized Bodies

 

    A very important and necessary part of LargeInCharge.  Find out what is helpful for big bodies.  Keep your self straight with some of our tips and tricks. Find out what other Big Sized people use to keep themselves smelling, feeling, looking, and living a proper life.  What kind of products are allowed. Anything that deal with the body. From cleaning aids to soap, lotions, powder, healing aids etc.  anything that can help a big body!

NOTE: The Opinion of those who submit items are not professional.  They are everyday people who found something that worked for them.  We are not held responsible for there opinion - The Large in Charge Staff

Send your favorite Item to be Product of the Month - Follow format below, include a picture of product (most can be found online) and Send to articles@largeincharge.com

Product of the Month

About the Product

Recommender: Raqui

Name of Product: Versa Bath Seat


Type of Product: Bath Seat

Cost of Product: $329.99

Where Product can be found: www.sears.com 

In the Health & Wellness > Bathroom Safety  Section

 

 Buy More Save More 125x125

Description: 
Fully adjustable, portable, lightweight shower seat is simple to install and designed to attach securely to the side of the bathtub. Seat rotates a full 90 to accommodate both left- and right-handed faucets and reduces the possibility of injury from lifting, pulling or the shifting of body weight into and out of the tub. Easy to clean and sanitize. Made of polypropylene. Weight capacity: 350 lb. Read about our Special Return Policy for important information.


Why I like this Product: I think this product because it is wide enough for big bottoms and holds someone up to 350lbs.  The best aspect is that you can apply and get a sears card and make payments on the item. Sears also has a protection program that I am sure plus sized people will appreciate.  You can have it shipped right to your hold or pick up at your nearest sears :)

 

 

Send in your Product recommendation to

articles@largeincharge.com

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