Add LargeInCharge to your MySpace Friend List CLICK HERE

Welcome to Large In Charge Magazine           

 Issue #53 - August 2008

Welcome to LargeInCharge Magazine

In this Issue of LIC


Raqui's Spot -  with our Founder Raqui


From the Plus Side ~ Emily Smiltneck

Good 4 U Food  ~ Xander


Big Girls on the Red Carpet  ~ Cher Rue


More than a Teddy Bear  ~ James Nealon


Hot & Heavy Entertainment ~ Stephanie Baham


DID YOU KNOW?  ~ Iolande Argent

National & International Plus Sized News


WHY, OH WHY  ~ Erin Thompson

Guest Spot - Shelly Willer


CONFESSIONS - Let It Go and Confess!

Fashion Furious - Fashion Finds with Plus Size style.

Product of the Month - Products for People of Size

Ask Raqui - Get some advice from one Big person to another.


LargeInChargeDating - Dating for the Large People who are going to be in Charge of their Love Lives!


LargeInCharge Friends - The Place for Big People to make Friends and maybe MUCH MORE!

Feature of the Month

Vegas Bash 2008

JoAnn & Darwin with Granddaughter

The Couple that makes Vegas Bash Happen!


Vegas Bash 2008


     For the past five years I have been trying to get to Vegas Bash.  Finally this year I was able to attend.  The location was wonderful and quite comfortable.  The Tuscany is an all suites hotel and believe me when I say I was completely satisfied.  When I found out that JoAnn and Darwin made sure to include sensitivity training in the contract with the Tuscany.  I was very pleased and the staff learned well because they treated us well, it was the best.


     From the moment I set foot in the lobby I saw plus sized smiles and someone right away said HEY RAQUI!!  I was able to sit and have a conversation with a online friend who I didn't know would be there.


     The vibe is open at the bash,  I find it easy to say hello to others and just sit among people I don't know and who don't know me.  I was able to make many friends and only later did I realize the online name that goes with the face.


     Everything is well organized and done in a timely manner.  Of course at any event you have some naughty and crazy people but what influenced me the most was the comfortable nature that is around.  You can feel it in the air and you cant deny that there is a unity at the bash that I have never felt anywhere else.


     I personally enjoyed activates that were not party related more than the actual parties.  I found myself sitting down on the comfy couches talking to people and telling stories and laughing.  Catching lunch with groups of people of size and just sharing a meal was fun.  I encourage you all to attend Vegas bash it was a great experience for me.


Check out the Issue #27 May 2006

Interview with Joann




  Day by Day coverage of Vegas Bash,  I had to try my best to cover as many events as possible. Though Vegas bash is designed in a way that you can't do everything.  I hope this video will encourage some of you to take the plunge and take a trip that cannot be explained in words because it is something you feel.  ( While my small camera wasn't the best I hope you still enjoy the videos)



Raqui's Memories from You Tube



Vegas Bash Day 1 Intro



Vegas bash Day 1 and 2



Vegas Bash Day 3



Vegas Bash Day 4

Vegas Bash Day 5 


Thank you for Reading The LargeInCharge Feature

Please send thoughts and comments to

Cover Model of the Month

Silvia Rho


Interview What is your name?


Silvia Rho Where are you from and what is your current Location?

I was born and raised in Southern California and reside in the South Bay area. Can you give us some information about yourself (Age, Height, Size, Nationality, Marital Status, Children, etc.)?


I am 22 years old, 5’10, 200 lbs, and 100% Korean. I recently got out of the military where I was Military Police for 2 years. I am a single mother to an 18-month old boy, Aidan. I know I’m a young mother but I love where everything in my life is right now, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I’ve always been pretty independent person and I don’t feel like I need a man to take care of me. I love to eat (obviously), so I try to go out at least once a week, and try different restaurants and cuisines. I feel like I always need to be doing something, so I keep myself busy with work and spending time with Aidan. I am currently a Business Tax Accountant by day, and Mommy by night =) Were you a big child, or did you gain weight later in life?


I’ve always been bigger than all my friends. Most of my friends are Asian and have the typical Asian body type; thin and short. But I don’t think I was a very big child. I was always active in dance and sports so I was always toned. I didn’t really start gaining weight till I was in college, when I stopped working out and ate at all hours of the night. (If you gained weight later in life) what caused you to gain weight and how did you feel about it?


College is where it started. Just eating out all the time, and eating unhealthy foods. I am also in a sorority so the parties and stuff didn’t help much. I knew I was gaining weight but never did anything about. Then I joined the Army and lost about 70 lbs in 5 months. I was down to about 140 and had never felt better. But after having my son and not being as active anymore, I didn’t lose any of the baby weight, and well.. here I am! What made you decide to enter the LargeInCharge model search? 


I love the idea of spreading positive exposure about full-figured women. The average woman is a size 14, yet even a size 10 is considered plus size in some industries. If I can make even one young girl feel like she is beautiful, no matter her size, I have done my job as a plus size model. I want girls out there to know that you don’t have to be a size 2 to be beautiful or glamorous. Society is slowly starting to accept this fact but it still has a long way to grow. Did you find it a hard journey to be accepted for your size?


Luckily, I am surrounded with people who love me and support me no matter what. I was the one who had the biggest problem with it. It was always an internal struggle to feel confident in my own skin. But now, I’ve learned to embrace my size and put it to good use! =) Do you find acceptance among your family and friends?


Definitely. I am lucky to surrounded by just loving people. What would you say inspires you most in life?


Definitely, my son. Everything I do is for him. What is your primary job?


Being a mother and a Business Tax Accountant How did you get into this line of work?


I went to the Torrid Model Search at the South Bay Galleria in Oct 2007. I got such a positive response from other models and photographers and actually set up my first photo shoot with a photographer that was there. I realized that I loved being in front of the camera and knew that this was something I wanted to do. What changes do you believe should take place for Large People in the work force?


I don’t think people should be discriminated against for a job position, just because of your size, race, or gender. It’s understandable if someone is more qualified but to profile someone based on something they have no control over is wrong and immoral. What do you think about the fashion industry for big sized clothing?


I think it is definitely getting better. I’m glad that I can walk into pretty much any store these days and find bigger sizes. And clothes are definitely trendy and keeping up with the latest fashions rather than being just big mumu’s. You can find fashions that accentuate your curves and make you feel sexy. What do you wish to see change with the fashion industry?


I would love to see more famous designers and/or companies coming out with plus sizes. I used to wear True Religion Jeans wayyyyy back in the day but can’t anymore =( It would be so great if they would make bigger sizes! What changes do you think will happen if plus sized modeling for men and women were to expand?


I think they changes are happening now. Society is starting to accept bigger people more and more. You see thicker actors and actresses on Tv shows and in movies and being “sexy” these days means having curves. Tell us some of the places you buy your clothing from.


Torrid, Target, Monif C, Lane Bryant, Kohls.  Tell us one of your secret beauty tips.


Always put a primer or base on before you put eye shadow on. It makes a total difference!! I use MAC Shadestick in Beige-ing.  Give us some tips on how to have a successful Photo shoot.  What should models be prepared for?


The most important thing is to feel comfortable with the photographer and the people around you. You have to be able to let loose and just be yourself and if you don’t feel comfortable it will definitely show. You don’t want anything distracting you or holding you back. I love to have music playing so that I can use the beat and work with it during the shoot. I think the best shots have been when I was dancing. Haha. Tell us about your goals as far as modeling and other interests.


I hope to one day be on runways all around the world and be a household name. Possibly the plus size Giselle? =) Can you tell us about an inspirational moment in you life that made you feel good about your size.


I’ve had a few women tell me how they love how confident I am in my own skin and how I inspire them to just embrace their size and that any size is beautiful. Is there a person in your life that makes you keep going?


Of course, my son Aidan, and my mom. She has been so supportive throughout everything I’ve done in my life, this being no exception. I don’t know what I would do without her. What advice would you give to other people of size who want to model?


To definitely research. Just because you are plus size, doesn’t mean you can be a plus size model. Just like the straight modeling industry, there are height and proportion restrictions. What plus size figure do you admire? 


Velvet D'Amour. She’s been in runway shows for all the top European Designers! Describe yourself with one word.




Thanks for reading about our

Cover Model of the Month

Raqui's Spot

     Raqui the Owner and Founder of LargeInCharge Magazine.  This spot is dedicated to her thoughts, vents, and observations of Plus Sized Life.  Raqui's  "Tell it like it is" style of writing has brought hundreds to her blogs and thousands to  There is so much behind the woman who has brought this magazine into existence.  Being Internationally known as a wrestler/squasher lead the way to modeling for companies and being featured in magazines and documentaries from all over the world.  She has made a career out of her size and personality. Born, Raised and Residing in the Bronx NYC. This city girl is taking the world by storm.


     For the past 4 years Raqui officially moved into Size Acceptance and Empowerment.  With the creation of LargeInCharge she took what she said to individuals to a higher level and made it public to the internet world. She is a woman who doesn't let things get to her.  Knock her down for the moment but she will rise up stronger and better.  Being a speaker on behalf of many subjects and counseling Plus Sized people online her grace and style has made people love her.  Raqui continues to set an example of a powerful woman who will bend the world to fit her, her way.


     Raqui's appearances include, Uk Televesion, German TV, Japan, Europe and the Spanish circuit.  Her many magazines appearances have been world wide.  She has hit American Televsion in 2006 with Good Morning American and since has appeared on The Christina Show,  The Maury Show and The Tyra Banks Show.

To view her Online portfolio visit

Raqui Appears on The Christina Show                   Raqui Appears on The Maury Show

Vegas Bash Sadness

Written By: Raqui


     If you read this months feature you can tell I was so happy to be in Vegas this year for BBWNetworks Vegas Bash.  The Biggest event for People of Size this annual event has been described as life changing. This year was lucky 13 and I hope to make it to the 14th annual next year.


     Though I was a happy time and I think of all the fun I had, I feel a lot of sadness.  I felt sadness because I met so many people who I have made a connection with.  Those who I knew of before attending The Bash and those who I just met while there.  I dreamed last night that I was at The Bash and I was seeing the friends I made and talking and laughing.  Making plans for Lunch and Dinner, hugging them and smiling.  I realized that I feel a great deal of loss now being home.  I want to see those people who with just a look in the eye we connected in some way.  Those who I shared moments with and felt like we knew each other forever.  I spent my last two days at The Bash crying on and off with happiness and sadness. 


     Most don't take me as a very emotional person, they believe I am completely upbeat.   I would say I am very passionate, and with that the feelings I had at Vegas were just compounded with the fact that at some point I had to go home.  I had to leave the people who I wanted to see more of.  I could see my life filled with them and their faces.  Hanging out and doing things together.


     But a part of me realizes that it is a gift, to have a place to go to and meet all the people who you only kinda know from online.  That fact that you have friends from all over the country is amazing because with out the internet we wouldn't know each other. I guess we call it bittersweet and I will always remember the wonderful times I had.  I hope to make it next year because I now cant imagine not going. 





LargeInCharge Radio - Weekly Radio show discussing Plus Sized Issues.  Friday's 7-9 pm EST - Call in & Chat in our Chat Room.

Raqui's Cool Links  

Raqui's My Space Page

Raqui's Yahoo 360 Page

Thank you for Reading Raqui's Spot

Please send thoughts and comments to

Super Sized Sounds



     Super Sized Sounds will be a Music Column that will feature those who are in the industry or up and coming who are size positive. Giving recognition to the plus sized people who are out there and showcasing themselves.  Reviews, Interview, News and more from our new writer Super Sized Spanishfly Lynx.


      Lynx Garcia, also known as "SUPERSIZE SPANISHFLY", is a Latina BBW from Queens NYC.  Lynx is an activist speaking out against size discrimination and began performing back in 1996 at social events for big beautiful women and big handsome males and their admirers. Her special mixture of sound held true as she sang, spat, danced and performed spoken word, soon she was in demand by Big and Beautiful parties nationwide.  Lynx taking her "look" and sound mainstream was rejected because of her size. She did not let this break her spirit, hurt her confidence or minimize her drive. Instead she rose up and started a public access show (LYNX' LAIR) aired in Queens on TIME WARNER QPTV . Combination of comedy and sexy style, she showcased underground artists of all walks of life. The response to her show was less than a year she has showcased many artist, some who moved to bigger and better things.


     Currently Lynx has caught the attention of Joey Mekkah of BLACK SOLARIS ENTERTAINMENT and found herself on the Grandmaster MELLE MEL's SOLO ALBUM "MUSCLES" featured on the hot latin hip-hop track called 'DIMELO", she is the only collaboration on the album. Lynx recently has started her own radio show on EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO.COM  called Ladies Night. EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO is #1 on the itunes network.



LYNX is on Vacation

Please Enjoy Last Months Article and Respond


Ok my people, mi gente… Raqui has received a submission from an artist named L*A*W, and there has been a whole lot of drama. Law has a song called “Thick Girly Girls” which he submitted for review on Large in Charge this is part of Queen Raqui’s response

“I find it very offensive that you would want to submit this song to a size acceptance and empowerment magazine that celebrates women of all sizes especially the women that are spoken of in a derogatory way in this track.  I am quite surprised that someone who is a professional didn’t bother to find out what LargeInCharge Online Magazine is about before submitting a track that basically celebrates (as you put it) the average sized woman not the Bigger Ones that we celebrate in LargeInCharge Magazine. The ones you say are so fat they are stuck in one position.”

And this is part of L*A*W’s  response

“The line about the shoulder blade/one position was STRICTLY for humor and I wasn't trying to offend anybody and if I did for any reason, I sincerely & humbly apologize. In those lines, I opted for the humor option in light of the controversial topic itself. If you listen to the song, I also poke fun at Jennifer Lopez before she went hollywood and lost her ass that she had as a flygirl on "In Living Color" (lol) and talk about the different flavors of thick women. The whole point of the song is that thick women of all sizes big or smaller are frowned upon in the industry so when I see publications like yours, Mo'nique, Raven-Symone  and my good friend Sharon Quinn, it makes me feel good to know that progress is being made to change this bullshit perception of women of plus size.”

 Is this offensive or is it just music?

I urge the readers to take a listen to the song and send your thoughts to  one of our readers who participate in this will be chosen to win a free cd and your response will be posted in our next feature of “Supersized Sounds”

L*A*W “Thick Girly Girls”


Look out next month for the status and of course my review of L*A*W’s music.

Oh the drama!

Want to send in your Voice in for review? Are you a singer, rapper, or poet who performs spoken word?  Up and Coming, already established?  Contact Lynx through her Myspace page or email and all information will be forwarded to her (PUT "FOR LYNX" IN THE SUBJECT AREA) 

You must be a Size Positive Artist, or a Plus Sized Supporter.

Thanks for reading

Super Sized Sounds with Lynx


Lynx Cool Links

From the Plus Side


Emily Smiltneck

     From the Plus side will be column dedicated to short stories that deal with all aspects of Plus size Life.  Emily Smiltneck was chosen for this position because of her dedication, and realistic writing style. She captures the emotional and mental rollercoaster those who are Plus Sized go through.


     Emily Susanne Smiltneck lives in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan (pretty much dead center in the middle of nowhere). She is a substitute teacher, and has recently started a tutoring business. Emily is currently working on several writing projects, including a historical fiction novel and several collections of poetry.

Emily Smiltneck receives recognition in Neighbors Daily Press - See article below


     It is a great joy when our fellow Plus Sized people receive recognition for their life's work.  Join me in this Joyous moment when one of our LargeInCharge writers is seen for her contribution and great dedication to her goals in life.  Click the images above to read the article about our dear Emily. When the page open click on the article to zoom in and read it.


Lonely In Here

by Emily Suzanne Smiltneck 

I don’t remember when I first learned that I was fat, or that it was a bad thing that I was.  I do know that in kindergarten, my classmates were already dividing themselves into cliques, and that I was the remainder.  I didn’t fit into any of their close-knit little groups.  I don’t know how they decided who fit where, at five years old, but the decision was unanimous: Emily shall stand alone.

            It never bothered me much, then.  I was content to spend my days working hard to learn more than any of the other kindergarteners, spend my free time hiding in a corner with a book, spend my evenings lost in imagination or deep in discussion with my parents.  It wasn’t until midway through the first grade that I realized I wasn’t part of any of the cliques that my classmates had formed.  I looked up from a book one day and realized that everyone else was happily, noisily engaged in chatter while my eyes raced over the pages of a book and my mind stretched to take in everything the words could give me.

            And that was when I realized I was fat.  I only knew that because, although I never asked why I was destined to be a loner, my classmates felt the need to fill me in.  “Don’t lean on the wall like that, fatso.  There’s no room for anyone else!” one girl proclaimed.  “Ew, get away,” one of the boys chimed in.  “Fatties smell.”

            I understood immediately that being fat was somehow bad.  Up until that point, I knew only that my mother, my father, and I were all comfortably padded.  I knew that we were all bigger than other people, but to me, it seemed that people were supposed to come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and colors.  I had been taught that skin color was no reason to treat someone differently, that short people and tall people both had their particular uses and talents, that it was far more important to listen to the things a person said than it was to listen to the way that they said them.

            It didn’t hurt me to know that I was different.  It hurt me to realize that it was bad to be different, when all my life I had been taught to value the differences among people.  And it hurt me to walk to school alone and stand on the playground with my nose in a book, pretending to read while in reality I was watching all the other children and trying to learn their secrets, the secrets to being a real person, one who fit in.

            In the second grade, I fell in love for the first time.  His name was Derek and he had the most beautiful, velvety brown eyes I had ever seen.  Every time I looked into his eyes, I got lost.  My first unrequited love.  After months of daydreams that mainly consisted of Derek merely talking to me, some of the “cool kids,” Derek’s friends, asked me if I wanted to play Catch’n’Kiss with them.  I had no idea what Catch’n’Kiss was, or how to play, but there were kids in school that were actually talking to me!  I couldn’t believe my luck, and I didn’t dare refuse their invitation.

            The game consisted of the girls running around the playground and the boys chasing them.  Any boy who caught a girl got to kiss her, as long as he did it quick enough that the teachers on playground duty didn’t catch him.  I was more interested in the books I was reading than in running around the playground, but run I did.  Until I noticed that none of the boys were chasing me.  I wandered around the playground for a few minutes, waiting, just in case I was wrong, just in case I really wasn’t an outcast and the boys just hadn’t gotten to me yet.  Slowly, I made my way back toward the swings, pulling my book out of my pocket as I went.  I turned one more time, for one more long glance at the fun I was missing out on.  I heard a voice ask if I really thought anyone was going to kiss me, and the rest of them laughed.  And since the only thing my classmates had ever ridiculed me for was being fat, the equation became more strongly ingrained in my mind: fat equals bad.

            I fancied myself in love with Derek all the way through the summer after fourth grade, when he and a group of his friends threw lit flares on the roof of my house and tried to burn it down.  After that, even with my lack of self esteem and my longing to be a part of the “in-crowd,” I couldn’t like him anymore.  His absence from my preadolescent fantasies left a burning hole within me.

            The hole started healing shortly after I started the fifth grade, as soon as I saw Joe.  His deep brown eyes were even more velvety than Derek’s, and he wasn’t one of the “cool kids.”  It was easy to see from the clothes that he wore, the way that he carried himself, the reduced-charge lunch tickets he used, that he wasn’t one of the charmed inner circle of fifth graders who had everything they needed and everything they wanted, too.  I hoped against all hope that there was a chance he might find it within himself to like me.

            He sat right in front of me and I would stare at his golden brown curls all day long.  It’s amazing that I managed to learn anything that year.  I had fantasy after fantasy about him.  In my daydreams, I was always sitting on the swings on the playground, reading.  Joe would walk up to me, sit down on the swing next to me.  “Hi,” he would say.

            If this had happened in real life, I would have glanced up at him over the edge of my book suspiciously, then gone back to reading, unable to risk responding because I would have known very well that it was not a friendly overture, but a trap that would lead to humiliation.  In my daydreams, though, I always tucked my book into my pocket and smiled at him.  “Hi, there,” I’d respond.

            Then he would say something like, “I know you’re not like the other girls, but I don’t like them anyway.  They’re too snobby and they care too much about what they look like.  You seem like you’d be a lot more fun, and way smarter.  And I think you’re pretty, too.”

            And instead of blushing horribly and being completely tongue-tied, I would say to him, “Thank you.  You have the greatest eyes I’ve ever seen.”  And our relationship would only get better from there.  Of course, at ten, my ideas of what might ensue were a little vague, but the important part was that this boy with the beautiful eyes actually liked me.

            I was determined to hold onto those fantasies at any cost.  When I asked him if I could borrow a pencil one morning, he turned around and said, “I don’t have any, Dog Face.”  I was momentarily crushed, but at lunchtime, when I joined my small group of friends in the cafeteria, one of whom was Joe’s sister, and related my tale of woe, they all tried to soothe me.  Joe’s sister was the most successful when she told me, “I’m sure he didn’t mean anything bad by it.  He really likes dogs.”

            Any normal, self-respecting fifth grader would have immediately understood the insult she had been handed, but I chose to take Joe’s sister’s words to heart.  If he liked dogs, he must like their faces, right?

            The real blow to my self esteem that year wasn’t the “dog face” incident.  It was actually the fact that I wasn’t made fun of, for being a lesbian.  Joe’s sister and another friend of mine were the victims of vicious rumors after being caught together in a bathroom stall.  I never knew if the rumors were true or not, or what they might have been doing in there for real, or even what the rumors had them doing, specifically.  All I knew was that suddenly two of the three girls I hung out with were being ridiculed for being lesbians.  I had to guess at what that might mean.  I gathered that it had something to do with girls liking other girls instead of boys, but I couldn’t really understand why it was a bad thing.  Just like I could never understand why being fat was bad.

            The rumors never reached me.  I was the only one in our little group who remained rumor-free.  Every day at lunch, my friends commiserated over their situation.  I would look down at my lunch tray, listening to them, only nodding once in a while when they asked me a question.  I was an outsider even among my friends now.  I never really wondered why; at ten years old, I had already learned that boys weren’t supposed to be attracted to me, because I was fat.  I wouldn’t have been able to put that sentiment into words, but I was well aware that it was true.  I must have carried that over into the understanding that girls weren’t supposed to like me, either, at least not in any way less innocent than friendship. 

            One day in the girls’ bathroom, though, this knowledge that I carried within me was given words.  “It’s when girls kiss girls instead of boys,” one girl was saying to another as they walked into the bathroom.  From the stall that hid me from them, I hear another girl say, “Well, is Emily a lesbian, too, then?  She hangs out with them.” The first girl said back, “Oh, rightNo one wants to kiss that fatso!”

            I was devastated.  Part of me, the rebellious part, wanted to march out of that bathroom stall and tear into those girls like a wolf pack tears into a dying cow.  I wanted to scream and rage and yell and ask them why.  Why was it that no one would want to kiss me?  What was it that was so terrible about me?

            But another part of me, the part that accepted whatever it was told as truth and had learned that it was easier to stay silent and disappear into the shadows, took over, and I said nothing.  I waited quietly for the girls to leave the bathroom before I flushed the toilet and stepped out of the safety of my stall.  And I carefully patted my eyes with a cold, wet paper towel to hide my tears before I went back to class.

            When I started middle school, I was more excited than I had ever been.  It was my chance to start over.  I had always been the quiet, shy kid who didn’t have many friends, who hid from all the other kids when they tried to humiliate me.  In middle school, though, there would be other kids who didn’t know me yet.  And maybe, somehow, they hadn’t gotten the word that fat is bad, and maybe they would accept me.  This seemed entirely possible because at home, I had never gotten the same messages I got at school.  My parents never said a word about my weight.  They encouraged me to go out and move around and eat healthy foods, and I did those things.  I wasn’t a lazy kid that sat around eating junk food and watching TV.  I spent just about every daylight hour outside playing, took three or four months to finish off the Halloween candy that most kids finished in three or four days, and only ever sat still to do my homework.  It never occurred to my parents to worry about me, and so it never occurred to me to worry about myself.  As long as I wasn’t in school, or missing out on something the other kids at school were involved in because I hadn’t been invited to participate, I was completely happy with myself.  It was only when I saw myself through their eyes that I found myself lacking.  And since that didn’t carry over to the world outside of school, I thought it very possible that it was only the kids in my school, specifically, who felt the way they did.  Therefore, it was easy for me to believe that once I was in a different school, my situation would be different.  That thought emboldened me.

            For the first time in my life, I was part of a group.  I still had my one best friend.  Not the same one I had in elementary school, because we endured a nasty “break-up” when she discovered that she was thin enough to be “cool” and I wasn’t, but a best friend just the same, and one who found me just as cool as anyone else.  We complemented each other perfectly; I was good at school, books, and thinking, and she was good at talking to people, making friends.  I helped her understand things clearly and she helped me become part of the group she hung out with.

            Still, I was an outsider.  The crowd we ran with was sort of a fast crowd.  One of the girls got pregnant in the 8th grade, then gave birth to a baby with severe birth defects because of the drugs she did during her pregnancy.  Things like that were foreign to me, uncomfortable to me, but I watched quietly and pretended to accept everything as normal, just to be a part of the group.  One part of me felt sorry for her, because she had been given so much to deal with but had never been given the skills to deal with it all.  Another part of me was jealous of her, though, and angry at what I perceived as great injustice.  Here she was, just fourteen, a couple years older than I was, not smart enough to abstain from sex or even use birth control, not all that attractive, and known for being the sort of girl who would give any boy anything he wanted, and she had found someone to get her pregnant?  I was smart and quiet and not all that unattractive (not that I would have admitted to anyone in the world that I felt that way) and kind and mature, and I couldn’t even find a boy who would talk to me.

            All the other girls in our group would talk about the boys they went out with and all the things they did, and I just smiled and nodded and never really answered any of their questions, because I didn’t want to admit that their world was foreign to me.  The funny thing was, there was no lack of boys that talked to me.  And the ones that talked to me were not the ones who, at the ages of twelve and thirteen and fourteen, were already looking for their next sexual conquest.  They were classier than the boys my friends were hanging out with.

            They all wanted to sit next to me in class and work on projects with me.  I was famous for being the smart kid.  And I had a good sense of humor and was always willing to laugh at myself, too.  I was everything they wanted.  In class, anyway.  Outside of class, they spend their time with the cheerleaders, the jocks, the skinny girls.  Looking back, I’m not sure if they didn’t like me because I was fat or if they didn’t like me because they didn’t think they were supposed to like me because I was fat, but I was always sure that was what the problem was.  It was the only thing that made me different from the other girls.  Sure, I didn’t have all the beautiful clothes they had, but that was because they didn’t come in my size.  And I wasn’t into sports like they were, but I just couldn’t keep up with everyone else.  The occasional boy yelling “Earthquake!” and falling to the ground as I walked past reassured me that things would have been different if I were thin.

            The first dance that I ever went to, in the seventh grade, was pure hell for me.  Some of the guys from my history class, where I had developed a few friendships with boys who wanted to get answers from me on tests, asked me to dance over the course of the night.  I couldn’t say yes, though.  There was a movie running through my head constantly, taken, no doubt, from all the after school specials I had seen on acceptance, in which a boy asked me to dance, I said yes, and then the entire gymnasium full of kids started laughing uproariously as the boy said something to the effect of, “Like I would really dance with you!”  And even if I had somehow been able to turn off that movie, I would never have been able to dance with anyone.  In order to dance with me, they would have to touch me, and that thought sent me into waves of panic. 

            My thought pattern was that if they had asked me to dance, they obviously hadn’t noticed how fat I was.  It wasn’t beyond my preteen understanding to realize that men are not always the most observant creatures in the world.  If I danced with someone, he would place his hands on my hips, just like the all the other boys were doing to the other girls.  And then, no matter how unobservant he was, he was bound to notice that I was shaped much differently than the other girls I had seen him dancing with.  He wouldn’t like the difference, either, of course, because that same old equation I had learned in the first grade was still the foremost thing in my mind: fat equals bad.

            So, I turned down at least four different boys who asked me to dance, sure that dancing could only lead to humiliation, and then I went and locked myself in a bathroom stall and cried.  When some of my friends came to ask me what was wrong, I told them to leave me alone.  When they pushed for an answer, I told them my truth: no one wanted to dance with me and it was depressing watching everyone else dance.  They left the bathroom confused, I am sure.

            I have often wondered how that one incident affected my life.  If I had done things differently, conquered my fear, I may have been a whole different person, able to believe that someday someone could really care about me, fat and all.  If I had agreed to dance with even one of the boys who asked me to, maybe I would have gained an ounce of confidence and my whole life could have been different, richer, more full.  Or maybe I would have been humiliated and ended up in the bathroom crying.  In retrospect, I know that no matter what, I would have survived.

            By the time I was in high school, I was beyond letting anyone know that I cared about anything.  It was a matter of self preservation.  If I didn’t care what anyone said about me or did to me, they couldn’t hurt me.  The closest I ever came to showing interest in a guy or flirting was when I would ask the editor of the school paper to show me how to do something, anything, on the computer as we were laying out the paper, so I could smell his cologne and feel his arms against my shoulders as he reached around me from behind to type on the keyboard of the computer I was sitting at.

            I was involved in as many things as I could be at school, and determined to get top grades, so I kept myself busy.   I went to school every day, had meetings after school until five or six every night, then went with my mother to help her do what she needed to do around town and went home to do my homework.  It kept me from awkward social moments when a group of people would start discussing their plans with their boyfriends and girlfriends and then halfway through realize that I must not be having any fun at all listening to them and trail off into a different subject.  It allowed me to tell myself I was so busy that even if someone did ask me out, I would never be able to accept.   It let me feel normal all day long and ignore the kids who were holding hands in the hallway and the teachers who asked me if I was going to the Halloween dance and the flowers that were delivered to other girls in class on Valentine’s Day.

            But it didn’t keep me from lying in bed at night imagining what it must be like to go out on a date, hold someone’s hand.  In my fantasies, I always imagined myself laughing gloriously with some good-looking boy as we walked through the halls together at school, craning my neck to kiss his cheek as he left me to go to his own class, glowing in class as I planned all the things we would do together over the weekend.  And in my fantasies, I was always thin.  I tried, sometimes, to imagine being me, just the way I was, doing all of those things, but I couldn’t stretch my imagination that far.  It seemed much more realistic to me to imagine my doctor finding some horrible thing that was wrong with me and giving me a magic pill that made it all right so that I lost a hundred pounds over night and turned into a beautiful, thin young woman.

            And that part of my dream did come true.  Although I had gone from being a chubby little girl to being a chunky preteen to being just plain fat, I had always been healthy and active.  During high school, that started to change.  I gained even more weight, lost all the energy I had ever had, grew so depressed it was hard to even get up in the morning.  I started blacking out when I climbed the stairs at school to get to my first hour chemistry class on the third floor.  I managed to put up a good front, so that no one ever knew how tired and despondent I was feeling, but it almost killed me to do it.  Eventually, I started thinking something might be wrong with me, but I couldn’t tell anyone that.  If I had told my mother, she would have made me go to the doctor, and if I went to the doctor, she would tell me that my only problem was that I was fat and lazy and needed to eat less and move more, and then every bad thing the kids at school had ever said about me would be true.  I couldn’t risk that.

            Finally, during the summer after my junior year of high school, when I could hardly walk from one end of the house to the other anymore and I was sleeping until noon or later every day, my mother dragged me to the doctor.  The doctor did some blood tests and found out that my thyroid gland was almost completely non-functioning.  She gave me medication and it was like I went from hell to heaven in a matter of days.  Two weeks later, I had lost fifty pounds.  Better, I had my energy back.  I couldn’t wait until the first day of school to show myself off to everyone, to be the kind of perky, fun, popular girl I had always wanted to be, to climb the stairs without losing consciousness!  For the first time in my life, I felt thin. 

            The illusion didn’t last long, though.  Although I had lost a lot of weight, I wasn’t exactly tiny.  There still wasn’t a store in town where I could buy jeans in my size and I was still the fat girl.  In fact, no one even noticed that I had changed.  I forgot my hopes of a new, improved real life and went back to my fantasies of being thin and beautiful and loved.

            I completely gave up hope.  I knew, deep within myself, that no one would ever be able to love me the way that I was, and I knew just as surely that I could not change.  Up to that point in my life, there had only ever been one boy who even pretended to like me; in the seventh grade, for a few months, I dated a fifteen-year-old seventh grader who was mentally impaired, aggressive, and wet the bed every night although he showered only once a week.  That left me with few doubts as to the sort of guy who might be interested in me.  And even he dumped me.

            I slipped into a pattern, over the years after I finished high school, of purposely and carefully ignoring the existence of the opposite sex.  If I didn’t allow myself to be attracted to anyone, then it wouldn’t bother me when they weren’t attracted to me.  Most of the time, it was easy to pretend.

            Then I saw a talk show or read a magazine article or saw something in the newspaper.  I don’t remember in exactly which form the ray of light first came into my life.  The ray of light was an excerpt from Camryn Manheim’s book, Wake Up, I’m Fat.  The article or interview or whatever it was featured Camryn talking about the incident her book was named for, when her mother took her into an expensive, fancy store in New York, the kind of store I could only dream about entering.  Her mother insisted on bringing dress after dress into the fitting room when Camryn just wanted to go pick one and leave.  Shopping was a horrendous experience for her because her mother always got after her about her weight when they were shopping together.  I could understand her viewpoint perfectly.  I didn’t have the problems with my mother, but I had left thousands of fitting rooms in tears when none of the clothes I wanted to wear came in sizes that I could squeeze my body into. 

            What really struck me, though, was her guts.  While she was in the dressing room, she asked her mother to bring her one of the dresses in a larger size.  Her mother, feigning innocence, brought her the dress in a smaller size instead, presumably to humiliate her into the desire to be thin.  If my mother had done any such thing, I would have been reduced to tears in the dressing room, maybe even refused to come out until the store closed.  Not Camryn, though.  She marched right out of the dressing room in her underwear, fat and all, threw the dress at her mother, and screamed, “Wake up!  I’m fat!”  The story went something like that, anyway.

            It was the first time it ever occurred to me that I could stand up for myself.  It was the first time I ever considered the fact that I had other options besides quietly taking all the insults that were thrown at me I stride.  It was the first time I realized that I had the same rights any other person had, that my fat did not make me any less of a person.

            I bought the book and read the entire thing in one sitting.  It was the first time I had ever heard the terms big beautiful woman (I had always assumed there was no such thing) or fat admirer (I had always thought that any man who was involved with a fat woman was just a really nice guy who could get past her appearance).  It was the first time I ever felt empowered or valuable.  And it was the first time since I was ten years old that I dared to wear a tank top in public and bare my flabby arms for all the world to see.

            I started searching the Internet for the terms I had found in her book.  I discovered dating services just for fat men and women and those who like them.  I found out that there were actual dance clubs and events for plus-sized people.  I was twenty-three years old and for the first time in my life, I discovered the possibility that someone, more specifically a man, could actually like me.

            My life changed in a lot of ways.  Did I suddenly become irresistible to the opposite sex?  Not at all.  Did I get over my shyness?  Not totally.  But I did start to notice the men in the world around me again, and although I had no idea what to do about it, I started being attracted to them again.  And I started fantasizing again, this time without the need to picture myself thin.

            Slowly, over time, I started getting to know men through the plus-sized Internet dating services I had discovered.  After three or four years, I met a few of them in person.  For the first time in my life, halfway through my twenties, I knew what it was like to have a man’s hands on my body and feel his lips pressed against mine.  I never let things go to far, though.  I was afraid of everything.  Every time a man touched me, I was afraid he would pull away in disgust.  Every time a man kissed me, I was unable to enjoy it for my fear that I wasn’t kissing back quite right.  I was too old to be so inexperienced.  And if a man tried to move beyond mere kissing, I panicked and pulled away.  I couldn’t stand for anyone to know how little I knew about the opposite sex, and I felt like my inexperience was too much for any man to deal with when I had so many things, my body and my insecurities and my lack of sophistication, working against me already.

            And finally, I met someone who seemed different.  He was an older man, and we talked a lot before we ever met.  We talked about all kinds of things: our jobs, books, the places we lived in, our lives, and yes, we talked about sex, too.  He knew more of my secrets than almost anyone, and he still wanted to meet me.  But then we lost touch.

            We didn’t have an argument or find some topic on which we disagreed.  We just sent e-mails to each other less frequently over time until there were no more.  And I didn’t think of him again until I was visiting Chicago, where he lived.  Of course, when I thought of him, it wasn’t in terms of contacting him.  As far as I had come, I hadn’t come that far.  I was in no way brave enough to contact him when I wasn’t sure if he had any interest in me anymore.  On the last day of my trip, though, I found a message from him when I checked my e-mail.  “Was just thinking of you for some reason and I thought I’d see what you’ve been up to.  Planning to come to Chicago any time soon?”

            My heart leapt into my throat.  He still wanted to meet me!  Reality settled in, though, and I sent a message back to him, telling him that I actually was currently in Chicago, but headed home that day.

            We began talking more frequently again, and when I had a chance to go to Chicago again a few months later, I nervously told him.  We made plans to get together.  He invited me to stay at his apartment for a night, which sent me into a whirlwind of panic.  When I didn’t answer him right away, he told me he understood if I didn’t feel comfortable with that.  He also asked me what my boundaries were, if I would be comfortable kissing or cuddling or even maybe going beyond that.  I thanked him for understanding, half expecting him to just give up one me when I didn’t respond to any of his other questions.  He didn’t.  He asked me again, told me whatever I said was fine with him, that he just wanted to meet me.

            We met in a Dunkin’ Donuts and spent two hours there talking nonstop.  When he bought me a drink, it made me feel the way I imagined it must make most women feel when they see a man naked for the first time.  No one had ever done things like that for me before.  Tingles raced up and down my spine.  When it was time for me to catch a train back to the suburb I was staying in, he walked me to the platform and hugged me goodbye.  It meant more to me than he could possibly have known, sent me into a tailspin of shock, drowned me with emotion.  This feeling of having someone care about me, really care, enough to touch me and sit next to me and be seen with me, was totally new.  I got on the train and slipped into a haze of dreamy thoughts.

            Slowly, as I rode, my old insecurities came creeping back.  I wanted to send him a text message (calling seemed too forward) to tell him I had had a really great time, enjoyed meeting him, wanted to see him again.  I couldn’t make myself do it, though, because I was stuck between wanting him to know I liked him and not wanting to seem like a crazed stalker who was moving in way too fast.  I had no idea what other women did after first dates and no idea what was appropriate.  I needn’t have worried, though.  By the time I got off the train, he had sent me a text message to say he had enjoyed meeting me, and that he was physically attracted to me!  I couldn’t breathe right for a week.

            On my next trip to Chicago, I saw him again.  That time, I did stay with him; I got into town around nine at night and had to leave by seven the next morning, but we got to spend some time alone together.  I feared it as much as I looked forward to it.  He was the first man I had ever met, though, who cared enough to make me feel comfortable.  He rested a hand on my shoulder and when I flinched and pulled away, sure he was going to be the one to pull away out of sheer disgust, he smiled at me, pushed my hair away from my face, and kissed me.  I was so shocked that I forgot to be afraid and, for the first time in my entire life, enjoyed a kiss.
            I was emboldened by my reaction and when he asked me if I wanted to get more comfortable, I actually took him up on the offer.  In the darkness of his bedroom, with a sheet wrapped tightly around me, I was naked with a man for the first time in my life.  I still had a constant soundtrack of questions playing in my mind though, which made it difficult to concentrate.  When he kissed me urgently, I wondered if I responded passionately enough.  When he caressed my breasts, I wondered if I was supposed to make noise, and what kind of noise I was supposed to make.  Every time he touched me, I wondered if he was going to find some part of me that turned him off completely.  I survived the night, though.

            I hardly slept at all.  Instead, I listened to the sound of his gentle snoring and reveled in the sensation of his arm across my belly as I lay awake through most of the night.  I drifted off occasionally, but the fear that I would move in my sleep and wake him kept me from total sleep.  It was the first night I had ever spent with a man.

            At the same time that I was relieved that he hadn’t pressured me for more than I was ready to give him, I was disappointed, too.  My insecurities attacked me full force as I wondered if he just let me stay there because he was a nice guy, or if I had done something wrong to stop him from wanting me.  After we parted, I swung from a feeling of glazed over ecstasy to one of utter worthlessness and back again repeatedly.

            Once again, he put me at ease.  By the end of the day, he had asked me when I was coming back, and if I wanted more than he had given me.  It took me several hours of doubt and reworded messages and anxiety and even straight-out fear, but I was finally able to respond with a single word: yes.

            And a month later, I had the chance to make good on my promise.  I hardly slept during the week before I went to see him again.  I was afraid of every little thing I could think of to be afraid of.  I was afraid I wouldn’t move the right way or get the right rhythm or respond the way I should.  I was afraid I would make too much noise or not enough noise or just lay on his bed, frozen in fear, when I should be moving.  I was afraid I wouldn’t turn him on or I would be too fat to do the things he wanted to do or wouldn’t know quite how to make them happen.  I was afraid of him, and of myself.

            I would like to be able to say that once we were together, my fears all dissolved.  I would like to say that we made passionate love for hours and then fell asleep in complete bliss.  I would like to say that everything went perfectly, the way it does in movies.

            But that would be a lie.

            To be honest, I hardly remember what actually happened.  I can only hope that the deer-in-the-headlights look that I am sure was on my face could be interpreted as breath-taking pleasure.  I don’t remember if there was pleasure or not, because all I could feel was fear.  Every time his hand touched some new part of my body, I shuddered with the expectation that he would pull away from me and roll to the far side of the bed.  Every time his lips touched me, I held my breath, waiting for him to sit up and turn away, hurt that I had not responded the right way.  Every time I drew a breath, I braced myself and held my stomach immobile, afraid that he would notice its tremendous size as it expanded with air, and deprive me of his touch.  And when he placed his body on top of mine, I almost screamed out in panic and pushed him away.  I was completely unable to move, afraid that any movement I made would be the wrong one and he would stop to ask me just exactly what I thought I was doing.  I didn’t, though.  I bit my tongue and closed my eyes and tried to smile.

            And when he entered me, I was completely numb.  I wanted to make it easy for him, move my legs the right way and get the right rhythm, but I could not move.  Millions of ideas of what I should do next raced through my mind and I vetoed each in turn because I couldn’t imagine what his reaction might be.  I counted my blessings that I was with someone who seemed to understand, at least a little, without requiring explanations from me.  He moved my body the way he needed it to be and caressed me as though I were the most beautiful woman in the world.

            At the same time that I wanted him to never stop, I wished that he would be finished immediately, so I could get through the awkwardness of the moments after and re-enter my comfort zone.  I knew with great certainty that it was a horrible experience for him and that he would never speak to me again. 

            The next moment in which I was fully aware of myself was when I heard him saying to me that it was too bad we didn’t live closer to each other.  My immediate reaction was that he was just being nice to me, trying to fill an awkward silence.  I tried to talk myself out of it, though.  Why wouldn’t he like me?  We had a great time together, out of bed if not in.  And it wasn’t all terrible.  I hadn’t been afraid even to kiss him this time, and when he had started to undress me before the lights were out, I hadn’t made him stop so I could drown us in darkness.  And it occurred to me that even if I was naked with this man, completely exposed, I was still myself.  I was still a person that I could like, even if he didn’t.  I have that right.

            And I have the right to let myself trust people.  Not everyone in the world is a kindergartener telling me I must stink because I’m fat.  Not everyone is a middle school boy pretending my very footsteps cause an earthquake and falling to the ground in a fit of laughter.  Not everyone is Camryn Manheim’s mother, struggling to humiliate her fat daughter into thinness.  Some people can accept me for who I am, even like me because of who I am and not in spite of it.  And maybe this man is one of those people.  Maybe next time, if I am lucky enough for there to be a next time, if I didn’t drive him away with my insecurities, I can enjoy him fully and be my total self with him.

I strive to step outside of my fat.  Not physically; I don’t want to lose my fat, get rid of it.  I’m happy with who I am.  I am healthy and strong and full of energy and even, dare I say it, beautiful.  My eyes sparkle, my hair shines, and there is music in my step.  There is no reason in the world for me to change.  Except for the world itself, of course.  I need to escape the “fat girl” role that the world has created for me, that I have created for myself.  I need to step outside of my fat and demand that the world accept me as I am.  Sometimes it’s lonely in here.


Thanks for reading

From the Plus Side with Emily Smiltneck


Emily's Cool Links

Good 4 U Food

Recipes for Good... Healthy Food

By: Xander - The Food Dude


And On We Go...

by Xander The Food Dude


And, so there was July.  At one point I thought as I got older it seemed like time passed faster.  Now I know that’s wrong.  Time doesn’t pass faster.  As you get older your days get busier, making it seem like there’s no time left.  It is in these days and times that stress plays a item of detriment or opportunity.  Those who learn to use stress are that much further ahead in the game, while those who allow it to break them down as twice as bad off.  Much like quicksand, the more we struggle against it the worse it gets.  In this article I wanted to use a chance to make you more aware of foods that help deal with the damage that stress does to our bodies.

It has been proved that the major health disorder in the United States in stress. A balanced nutritious food and simple deep breathing exercises are the simplest methods for stress relief. This article discusses the following aspects:

  • How can food tackle stress?
  • How tea, coffee, etc affects a person who is having stress?
  • Can chocolates help in stress reduction?

Researches show that stress is the most common health disorder in the United States. There are various options available for the relief of stress. A balanced nutritious food and simple deep breathing exercises are the simplest methods for stress relief. They are cost effective, easily available and are without side effects. Food that reduces stress acts mainly by their vitamins and mineral contents.

Food and Stress Relief

The changes associated with stress are

  • Increase in the stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol
  • Increase in blood sugar and cholesterol
  • Increase in the heart rate and blood pressure
  • Increase in the respiration
  • Accumulation of toxins like carbon dioxide and lactates
  • Emotional changes due to alteration in the brain chemistry
  • Gastro intestinal disorders like irritable bowel syndrome
  • Suppression of immunity

The principle of stress management programs is to reverse all these changes. Among these changes the levels of the already increased hormones cannot be brought down. The stimulus which increases their production can be controlled. All the other changes can be reversed using various stress relief options. One of the simplest options is the dietary changes.

The role of food items in the stress management programs are discussed under the following headings

  • Food items that reduces stress which should be included
  • Foods items that aggravates stress which should be avoid


Food Items to be Avoided

Food items which aggravate the signs and symptoms are to be avoided. These include

  • Tea, coffee, cocoa, Junk foods and fast foods, Egg yolks, Butter, cheese , shrimps and meat, Coconut oil, Cashews almonds and other nuts, Beverages including soda, chocolate drinks and soft drinks. Sugar and Alcohol

Tea, coffee, cocoa including chocolate drinks contain neuron-stimulators like, caffeine and Theo bromine. Though these substances refresh a tired person, it is better to avoid all these items in stress. In stress the patients will be already anxious and further stimulation results in aggravation of anxiety and worsen sleeplessness. Moreover tea and coffee worsens peptic ulcer associated with stress. But the controversy is that chocolates contain more of magnesium which helps in calming down an agitated person during stress.

Egg yolks contain high percentage of cholesterol and should be avoided in stress which itself increase the cholesterol levels. Butter, cheese, coconut oil cashews, almonds and meat are to be avoided for similar reasons.

Junk foods and fast foods are highly delicious food items are not balanced diets. They contain protein, fats and carbohydrates in inappropriate proportions and moreover they don't contain the essential vitamins and minerals. Stress needs more of energy, vitamins and minerals also but in a balanced proportion.

Beverages including soda and soft drinks contain 'empty calories' which are useless and they also don't contain vitamins and minerals. In stress there is accumulation of carbon dioxide and lactates resulting in a condition called acidosis which is detrimental to health. The high content of carbon dioxide in beverages aggravates it. Sodium benzoate is also more in beverages which should be avoided in hypertension associated with stress. Sugar should be avoided in stress as the person will be already having increased blood glucose levels with a higher risk of getting diabetes.

Food Items to be Included

Researches show that vitamins like B complex, C and E along with minerals like manganese, selenium and zinc are helpful in relieving stress. The food items rich in these substances should be included. It is better to include plant sources of these essential nutrients as animal sources as discussed above contain other nutrients which are harmful.

The food items beneficial are

  • Fresh vegetables mainly green, yellow, orange and leafy vegetables, Fresh fruits, Soups, Yogurts, Fish, Sprouts, Skim milk and Herbal products

Fresh vegetables, fruits provide all vitamins and minerals. Green, yellow, orange vegetables like tomatoes, carrots are rich in vitamins for stress and minerals. Vegetables also contain more fiber content which is helpful in treating constipation and the loose stools associated Irritable bowel syndrome which is one of the long term effects of stress.

Yogurts provide minerals essential for proper nerve impulses, and digestion. Additionally, yogurt helps with ulcers aggravated by stress.

Skimmed milk contains less than 3% fat which is appropriate during stress. Milk is a mood stabilizer which helps in pacifying an anxious stressed person.

Fishes like Mackerel and Tuna contain more of Omega fatty acids which protect heart, from heart diseases which are precipitated by stress. Moreover fish also contains a chemical which is a memory booster.

Things people should focus on eating include: whole wheat flour, fresh fruits, gooseberry, broccoli, potatoes, cereals, spinach, pumpkin, and, in moderation, some chocolates.

Herbal products such as Kava Kava, Valerian, Dandelion,, Chamomile, Passion flower relaxes both the mind and the body

Meal Management

The meal management to tackle stress should be

  • A heavier meal in the morning
  • A lighter meal at night
  • Salads before the meals
  • Fruits as desserts at the end of the meal

The food that reduces stress has got a significant role in all stress management programs. A well balanced nutritious food as advised by the dietician and avoidance of unhealthy food can thus help in stress relief.

Xander's Recipe of the Month

Slamon Salmon

     The greatest thing about this salmon dish is that it’s a perfect natural stress fighter.  This dish is easy and quick to make with really great flavor.  For a spicier version sprinkle some hot sauce on it as you put it in to broil.  The hot sauce,  with the citrus and green onion make a incredible flavor combination.  Serve with some roasted vegetables.



  • 4 large oranges
  • 8 (4 ounce) fillets salmon
  • 1/2 cup chopped green onions
  • 2 teaspoons cracked black pepper


1.      Preheat the oven's broiler.

2.      Slice, peel, and pith oranges; slice crosswise into 1/4 inch rounds. Season fillets with salt. Place salmon fillets on broiling pan.

3.      Place the pan of fillets 4 to 6 inches from heat. Cook for 15 minutes under the preheated broiler, or 10 minutes per inch of thickness. Remove from broiler just before they are cooked through. Sprinkle with vinegar. Arrange orange rounds on top. Sprinkle with green onions and cracked black pepper. Broil 1 minute longer.


Thank you for Reading Good Food 4U

By Xander the Food Dude

Please send thoughts and comments to

Big Girls on the Red Carpet


Cher was born in Los Angeles California in 1955. Being adopted by wonderful parents she grew up in the city of Encino, and was always surrounded by loving caring family and friends. Growing up with a thin mother, who was always trying to get Cher to lose weight, diets of all types, sending her to fat camp, bribing her, and
not ever having sweets in their home.

Growing up Cher never was lacking in friends and boyfriends who loved her personality and her kindness.
Guys in her life always were saying your so pretty but why don't you lose some weight. This she heard all of her life but her weight just would go up and down.

Cher has always loved seeing others happy and helping others to find their inner self and beauty.
Ten years ago, she found the plus size community and she knew this is where she would focus on helping others who were like her and had some of her experiences and pain that she went through.

Cher has been in the community working with others for size acceptance. She was seen on "Dr.Phil, "Good Morning America","Entertainment Tonight", "Russian, British, Japanese,and Viet Vietnamese Television". Also a documentary filmed at the Las Vegas Bash on the Travel channel, and Current TV, a online station, with numerous radio interviews talking about size acceptance.

She was a promoter for the number one BBW hip hop club in California, and seeing people come into the club and make new friends and feel good about themselves warmed her heart.

Her love for helping others to feel better about themselves and to help mainstream accept the plus size community is her focus and goal. She is Vice President of "Hollywood Cure For Pain" a celebrity movement to help those who suffer in chronic pain. She is now showing mainstream that "Big Girls can rock the Red Carpet"! Besides being a wife, mother and activist, playing with her Chocolate Lab Ruby is what she loves best!



Runway Magazine Hosts the Summer Splash Fashion Show

Article by: Cher Rue 


(Los Angeles - June, 2008) - Fashion industry executives, entertainment moguls, charitable philanthropists, daring designers and many of the most high-powered people in couture culture will be together at one of the most highly anticipated fashion shows of the season, hosted by the gracious glamour experts at Runway Magazine.


"Bringing together such a high-caliber crowd of well intentioned people with charitable goals does a lot to warm my heart," said James Buccelli, President/CEO of Runway Magazine inc. "But to be honest, the rest of me is being warmed as well by the amazing night  with top tier entertainment, designers and the fabulous networking opportunities for all who attended. It really  shaped up to be quite a show."


Sponsors of the event include Sunset Tan, Millennium Model Agency Inc., Cops Care Cancer Foundation, Support Her Vodka, MOSS Networks, Aktiv8 Promotional's

APTO Designs, and many other notable names who are interested in raising money for some worthy causes while sharing in some moments that will undoubtedly be remembered long into the future.


As one special shining moments of the show, Key Closet debuting their revolutionary diamond-studded $10,000 Jeans on the runway along with their new Key Closet and Konquest clothing collections. "We are extremely proud of our $10,000 Jeans," says Key Closet founder Michael Hong. "Our design team has created a true work of art that will appeal to those who create trends rather than follow them." This was a amazing site to see, the jeans were spectacular. Ok I want some in big girls sizes. They need to know that big girls like sexy hot jeans too.


Caprice Bianca hand bags, one of the hottest bag lines to watch out for was also  featured on the runway, showcasing their new collections. Additionally, representing "eco -chic" the queen of green - Vegan Queen displayed  their ecologically-consciously but equally fabulous produced and manufactured line of handbags. Edgy jewelry designer, Judith Bright complimented with her semi-precious stones wrapped in gold or silver.


Adding their own charitable twist to their award winning product line, Support Her Vodka was pouring 10% of the event profits into the Breast Cancer Foundation, so anyone dancing the night away to the entertainment featuring the amazing upbeat positive acoustic sound of Orange County club scene favorites Non*P and the sexy dance troupe, Runway Dolls can do so with a sense of guiltless decadence unmatched by other industry events!


It was a fun filled night with lots of celebrities such as Heather Chadwell, Carlos Ramirez,

Brian Peeler, Christi Shaka, Darin Brooks, Jacqueline McKenneth Wood,

Cedric Sanders, Christina Silva ,Recording artists Non-P, Texas, Curtis Carter, Tommy Boldi ,Marcus Shirock ,Designer Michael Hong and recording artist Se7en ,Cher Rue, Fawn, Amanda Rushing, Les Brandt, Owners of Planet Funk Oren and Erin Hayun ,Recording artist DD Dragon of the Wu Tang Clan, Recording artists Non-P and actor Cedric Sanders, Brandon Molale, Jesse Lewis ,Steve Kim and Christine Kim of Laguna Beach Jeans, Jon Rue founder Hollywood Cure for Pain, Recording artist Jensen Kirk, Mr. Outrageous, Actor Darin Brooks, Actor Neil D'Monte ,Fashion designer Helen Chung, Maurice Townsell ,and Cat Miller.


I had a great time at this fashion show, there was so many male models in great outfits. I was amazed at the female models they are so thin, I just wanted to order them some pizza! I need to work on getting the plus size models out on the runway we need to show them we can rock it too!


Until next time from the red carpet hugs Cher.



Thanks for reading Big Girls on the Red Carpet

More than a Teddy Bear



I am a big guy with a big heart.  My favorite thing in the world to do is to make others laugh.  It gives a sense of calm and peace to both people involved and there is nothing better than to walk up to that person later in th day and just see the smile on their face from the memory they have of what you did earlier. 


I am a family man as well.  I live in Montreal, Quebec with my wonderful wife Naomi and my two adorable children Connor and Brett.  They are the sun around which I revolve and without them my life would have more tragedy than comedy in it I guarantee.


I was raised in Southern California, Moved to New York, Moved to Kansas and then back to New York.  Follow me so far?  I have a perspective on the entire country I think, from the surfers in Los Angeles, to the Wheat Farmers in Kansas City to the Kodak Managers in Rochester.


I am sick and tired of mainstream media not allowing the plus-sized person, be they man or woman, to be represented fairly in the media.  You have wonderfully bright spots in the darkness, like our own Raqui, but the rest of the clouds have yet to be broken through and I hope I can help in that.


I am a open man who loves to talk.  You want to ask me a question, go ahead.  You have an idea for something you want me to write?  Go ahead.  I don't mind posting my email ( because I do not shy away from responding to people.  Plus, I have a really good spam filter.


Love and Respect to all.  James, by the way, they also call me Kaobear


with James Nealon


As a man of size, it is impossible for you to show, even for a moment, any amount of weakness or, to put it properly, to not show supreme strength.  At least from the prospective of those who see Plus Sized men as eternal construction workers, weightlifters, wrestlers and bodyguards for nefarious villains.


Come now.


I am six and a half feet tall and you know what?  There is no problem sitting back and crying if you need to.  Emotions are what separate us from the apes.  It does not make you weak if you want to have a job where you don't have to lift colossal weight or work in a warehouse atmosphere.


It insults me that stereotypes are so locked in that when a man my size goes to a company to apply for a job, he is automatically shuffled off to the warehouse, when he was indeed there for an interview in Customer Service, management, or even Clerical.  There is nothing more humiliating than to be labeled forever a strong man with no recourse, no options left to you but to eventually cave into the pressures that society feels compelled to throw upon you.


I am a web designer, a poet, a father, a painter, a photographer, a quasi-psychologist.  Do any of these sound like they involve using a weight belt and shouting for my thirteenth cigarette break of the afternoon?  No, I didn't think they did either.


Men, when you encounter this in the workplace, or anywhere else for that matter, and it makes you feel uncomfortable, do not get angry, for that is fulfilling your role as the stupid gorilla pounding his chest.  No, instead take a step back from the person and explain to them that they honestly have done you a disservice by assuming things about you and that it is both morally wrong and a form of discrimination at the same time. 


I have a feeling their tune will change rather quickly.


Foolish people who feel that men of size are only designed to be the lifters, the movers, the pullers and the doers are a shame to the rest of the people who see us as, can I hear a gasp please, people.


Thanks for reading More than a Teddy Bear

James Links:

Hot & Heavy Entertainment


     Stephanie Baham is a native of Los Angeles, CA and now resides in the San Francisco area. She's a 38 year old professional who has long enjoyed the craft of writing. Her other interests include film, theatre, yoga, dancing, literature and politics. Stephanie holds a Bachelor's degree from Cal State University, Long Beach in Theatre Arts. She is currently working towards her degree in Psychology.


Better Roles for Bigger People ... It's Possible
with Stephanie Baham


Sookie - Melissa McCarthcy      /     Doug - Kevin James      /     Newman - Dwayne Wright              

So who was that perky plus sized chef on Gilmore Girls?

That's the question I asked myself every time I watched Gilmore Girls.  The character of Sookie St. James was a talented chef, a big girl & a big part of that show.  I found out I was watching the delightful Melissa McCarthy, cousin of former Playboy model, Jenny McCarthy.  (Personally, I think Melissa looks lovelier).

I remember the WB was notorious for it's shows about the angst of young adults. Young skinny adults.  But when Gilmore Girls hit the airwaves, I was happy to see they actually cast a woman of size in a positive leading role.  

But then I began to wait to THAT story know...THAT story line where they decide to "tackle" her "weight issue."  I was waiting for the fat axe to fall.  I saw story lines about her character's career, marriage, friendships....but no "fat" story line!  Had I been spared the same old "oh my gosh she's having an issue with her weight" episode?  Well, at least I hope so. I didn't see every single episode of Gilmore Girls, but I saw a lot and I don't remember a "omg I'm fat" episode. 

Another thing I noticed about Melissa's character on Gilmore Girls was her sense of style.  Sookie St. James wore some of the cutest outfits with fun colors and styles.  It was the first time I noticed a plus sized character was given a sense of fashion.  Usually the big girls are wearing sweaters and the big guys are wearing Hawaiian shirts.  But Sookie had outfits that would rival Carrie Bradshaw from Sex And The City.  Take that Manhattan!

Even her character's hair had it's own personality.  It wasn't pulled down around her face as if they needed to hide the fullness of her beautiful cheeks.....Sookie St. James was usually sporting her pigtails and bandanna.

It appeared to me that the WB actually took time to cultivate this character and make her beautiful on more then one level.  Her character was likable, entertaining, stylish and living a "normal life" without some obsessive weight issue.  This is the type of thing that I really look for in a plus sized character.  It's not enough to me to just see a big girl on the screen.  My hope is that big girls (and guys) continue to get leading roles that are quality...not just "the fat chick" or "the fat guy."

Fortunately, I think Hollywood is slowly coming around.  We've got great characters on tv such as Doug from Queen of Kings played by Kevin James.  Or Newman from Seinfeld played by Dwayne Wright.  Newman might not be the most likable....but he's a great character!  It's not enough for me to turn on the tv and say "Hey look there's a big girl/guy on this show! That's great!"  It will only be great if the character is great.

There are some movies/tv shows that do tackle the "weight issue".  And that's fine, that's a part of life.  But it's not the only part.  And it shouldn't be the only thing that Hollywood chooses to put on the screen. 

About 15 years ago I was a young aspiring actress in the Theatre Department of California State University, Long Beach. And in every audition I went into, I always had that little voice saying "what if you're too fat?" No director ever told me that...but it always stuck in my mind.  Pretty soon I began to get roles that I thought would have been reserved for skinny people. And that tells me there are some directors out there who weren't just looking for skinny.

When I got the bug for dancing, I was sure I was going too deep into skinny people territory.  But soon I got some dance roles that were more than just doing the hokey pokey and turning myself around. My crowing glory was getting the role of Cha-Cha in a production of Grease.  I was 22 years old and a size 18.  The guy that played Danny was a 16 year old who was 6' tall and skinny as a pole.  This kid must've had a 20" waist! And the choreographer was a size 4. I was surrounded by the skinniest people in the cast! But the choreographer believed in my skills more then I did.  She didn't doubt me for a second. And with her guidance we had a great number and I'll never forget how to do the Hand Jive as long as I live.

That's when I realized that in some places, people don't see size.  They see talent. Maybe one day the entire entertainment industry will be like that. As a matter of fact, I'm sure of it.  All we need is time, passion and we need to live large!



Thanks for reading Hot & Heavy Entertainment


National and International Plus Size News


     I am a former plus-size model and stage performer. I have written articles that have appeared in local newspapers, college magazines and I was a sports editor for my school newspaper. Currently I have a book coming out in May 08, How to Make a Living Without a Job: the Guide to Professional Temping. It will be available online through Amazon and can be ordered through Barnes & Noble or Borders. I split my time between the Bay Area, CA and Houston, TX.


Life Insurers to impose "Fat Tax" on the obese

costing up to 50 per cent more
with Iolande Argent


A "fat tax" is to be imposed on the obese by life insurance firms, it emerged last night.

Around 50 per cent extra could be charged on new premiums - and the threshold at which the higher rate starts will be lowered.

The increased charge can be up to 400 per cent if you fall into other high risk categories, such as being a smoker or having previous medical conditions.

For a 55-year-old man who is a healthy non-smoker with no weight problems, life insurance should cost about £1,000 a year for £150,000 of cover. If he were obese, the annual premium on a 25-year policy could cost an extra £500.

Britain is in an epidemic of obesity, which can lead to cancer, heart problems, liver disease and diabetes.

Nearly one in four adults and 16 per cent of children have weight problems that threaten their health.

More than a million prescriptions for obesity drugs were written by doctors last year, compared to just 127,000 in 1999.

Yesterday Britain's biggest life insurer, Legal & General, said 13 per cent of new applicants face paying the higher premiums - which start on anyone with a body mass index of 30.

A BMI of 30 or more is now one of the most common reasons for the price hike. The threshold used to be nearer 40 but has been lowered as the full scale of the obesity crisis has been revealed.

Russ Whitworth, L&G's director of underwriting and claims, said: "Most people understand that poor diet and lack of exercise can lead to health problems but they might not realise that being significantly overweight would also make their life insurance more expensive.

"Although it is not an exact science, we find that BMI is the best indicator of the risk of being overweight, so it pays to stay in shape."

One problem is that judging people by their BMI could discriminate against the superfit - as rugby players or athletes often have a high weight-to-height ratio by building up the muscles required for their sport.

Other insurers also confirmed last night that they charge fat people at least 50 per cent extra.

At Norwich Union, the second largest life insurer, premiums start rising once the BMI hits 35.

Friends Provident, the third largest insurer, begins "loading" premiums when BMI is over 33.

A spokesman for the Association of British Insurers said: "If you are obese, you are at greater risk of contracting certain diseases. It is just the same as increasing the premium for a smoker or somebody with previous medical conditions."

All life insurance applicants are asked for endless details, including their exact height and weight.

Lying is a false economy, because the insurer may not pay of women in Britain are classified as obese out on a claim.

The Financial Ombudsman Service, which settles disputes between customers and companies, says it regularly has to reject complaints for this reason.

In one recent case, a 37-year-old man told his insurer he was 6ft and weighed 16st. Just five months later, he died from a blood clot - but the claim was rejected after discovering he was actually 5ft 9in and 21st.

If it had know the truth, the insurer said it would have increased his premium by 275 per cent.

The Financial Ombudsman concluded: "The disparity between his actual weight and height and the information he gave on the form was so great that it was difficult to accept that he had been unaware of it."

In September, the insurance giant Prudential started offering free gym membership and a 2.25 per cent discount if you go to the gym at least twice a week.

Matt Morris, a policy adviser at Life Search, a specialist financial adviser, said: "In an ideal world, insurers want the healthier clients. There is an element of cherry picking. They don't want the burden of the heavier clients."

Official figures revealed this week that a quarter of children are overweight before they have even started school. By secondary school entry of 11, the figures rises to one in three.


Thanks for reading Did You Know

Why, Oh Why

    Erin says she grew up in a rural Texas town, the small town life atmosphere has always appealed to me and that is why I currently reside here. I have the city life girl burrowed deep within me though and sometimes she is able to escape to Dallas and have a good time. I was a very awkward child, and when ADD was not even understood, I had it, and spent a lot of time in the principals office. I grew up very much a tomboy. Once I hit 18, I set out on the world and started school. My major was to be journalism, then in 1999, tragedy hit me and I nearly died in a car accident. The outer wounds healed rather quickly leaving me with the inner scars I still deal with daily. I try to see each day as a new one and keep family and friends really close to my heart where they belong. I enjoy music and photography and my love for writing has stayed with me since I was a child. Now as a 29 year old woman, I spend most days still day dreaming and working hard to make them come true. I am currently in school full time and will complete my journalism degree with a minor in music. Pink is my absolute favorite color! I write poetry and am currently working on my first book about my life.


Erin was chosen because of her flair with words and her ability to find real day to day instances in which Plus Sized people say WHY, Oh, WHY.


Words From Raqui - This month we say goodbye to one of our writers who was here for a short time but dedicated herself to LargeInCharge monthly.  During her adventure to finding herself she realized that she has to move on to a journey that some of us understand and some of us wont.  Her journey is her own and at has the courage to express herself and we want to wish her well in accomplishing her goals.

Some may say size acceptance is about telling the thinner people or society that they are not as good as us and this is not what LargeInCharge is about.  It is about helping people to open their eyes and really see what is best for them.  Being Plus Sized is not always a choice and for some of us it is a choice.  Accepting ourselves as valuable human beings  at any size and being able to see that we are equal to any other person is what size acceptance is.  Accepting others for who they are and respecting each other is what we should all strive to do.  Lets wish Erin Well on her way to finding joy in her life.

Final Words

with Erin Thompson


     Why oh why are lawn chairs not made for people of size? Any chair for that matter. Why oh why are clothes not trendy enough for us? Why of why can I not fit into my seatbelt comfortably? Why oh why is my sex life difficult? Why oh why is my metabolism different?  I mainly state these things month after month because I find myself still trying to figure out why the world caters to only the thin. 

     I throw myself pity party after pity party on a regular basis as my positivity about these matters and all other matters related to my size continue to weaken, then I realize that I have to write these articles to give people of size goodness in a world gone bad. The reality for me is that I am depressed, a lot, as I am sure many of you are as well. We hide it good. We show our fake smiles when necessary and we pretend that we are happy when we really are not. We want the world in general to believe that we are happy and accept ourselves for exactly who we are, where we are for what we are. I just cannot do that anymore.

     I want to be thin, but most importantly I want to be healthy. I want to be able to walk and breathe. I want my knees to quit hurting and my feet to quit swelling. I want to take my dogs for walks and hold hands with my husband in the park and walk around without having to give up because I am tired. I am going to for the moment back out of writing articles for Large In Charge.

     I have been grateful to Raqui for giving me the opportunity to write because it is one of my most valued passions, but I do not want to say that I accept the way I am anymore, I need to be different. I do not want to write for the magazine if I do not believe what I am writing whole hearted. I need to lose weight to live – with this said, being thinner and working toward my goal will NEVER make me compromise who I am or what I have been through to get here, but I do want to no longer be plus size, for me it is a choice, it is a choice that I need to make every day when I wake up and I am tired of feeling sorry for myself and watching the people who love me be sad because of my condition. I want them to smile again but most importantly I want to smile again, for real.

Thank you all again, I hope that you will continue to read the magazine as I believe it is a positive thing and Raqui is amazing for having it available to all.


Thanks for reading Why, Oh Why

Erin's MySpace:


Time to tell it like it is!


     This is an experiment in Confession, you can anonymously confess, or let everyone know something that you feel.  Every Month we will post all the confessions and you can come and view them and be inspired to make your own.


     You can send in a picture,  You can make a graphic,  You can just send in your written words.  You can do it anonymously and get something off your chest.  You can let everyone know who you are and liberate yourself.


     Hope you enjoy Confession!  Send in your own check the bottom of this page!





I know you can love me the way I need you to, But are you willing?





When I see couples Dance together, I wish it was You and Me!





Is it wrong that I want you so much even though you have a man.

You looked so Sad he wasn't their for you, I want to be.





Every Day I say I will love me, Then an asshole makes me feel different.




I looked in the mirror today and I didn't see anything wrong with the way I look

Finally I feel Free!




Send in your own Confession,  Use the email to the Right and send in a your confession, weather it is a graphic you made (NO BIGGER THAN 5x7 92 DPI) or a picture you saw.  You can also just send in text words.  Your Confession can be Anonymous or you can tell everyone who you are.

Send in your Confession NOW!

Thanks for reading Confession

Send in your Confession to


Large In Charge Guest Spot

We want to hear and see your talents!


One of our favorite parts of the Magazine.  The Guest Spot is for our readers to submit there talents to be viewed.  We want to see all you wonderful supporters making moves of your own.  If you write poetry, short stories, commentaries, or just thoughts in general, please submit them to us.  If your a designer we want to see pictures of your clothing.   We would love to include your talents in our newsletter.  We hope you take an active part in the L.I.C. newsletter. Send in your article, poetry, comments to -

NOTE: The Opinion of the writer is not always the opinion of The Large in Charge Staff.  We support the Right to all views.  We do not Condemn or Approve writing based on our personal thoughts.  We approve writing based on if the subject is a concern for the BBW / SSBBW / BHM Community.  Thank you for your writing and please send in those articles!  - The Large in Charge Staff

Guest Writer of the Month

My Confessions

Written By: Freda McPeters


My Confessions of Being a Big Beautiful Woman


She walk real proud, Her confidence,  

has your head bowed,

Her image doesnt reside in mumu's and flower dresses,

she loves clothes that cling to her tripple D breastesses,

She's a 3 outta 3,

She don't lack,

Spiritual, Mental,

or Physical Maturity,

When you hug her,

Its deeper than a surface tap,

 her body is filled with love,

and extra cushion for you to grab,

Her smell is so sweet,

it make you wanna linger,

and her first impression,

 Will Make you a little eager,

Independant, and nothing less,

Her life stays

full of ambition and success, Yea,

She is Full and Sexy,

With plenty to feed the greedy,

 and for you skinny hatin sistahs,

 she willin to donate,

some for the needy,

 She loves a good cerebral -cortex penetration,

and opens her mind up,

to deep mental stimulation,

 By the time she finishes the conversation,

 her draws wont be the only thing your chasin,

so I advise a little discretion,

and lets not forget to mention,

her passion for the kitchen,

Puttin together creative dishes,


white rice and gerk chicken,

 wearing nothing but a thong

and six inch stilletos,

She'll have you cravin her strawberry jello,

and she got that good good,

 to make your attitude mellow,

 juicy, is only one word,

She got enough to water the earth,

body made so close,

youd think she was a virgin,

 and the spasms in your back,

will have ya doin more than splurgin,

nothin about her is uncertain,

what you see, Is what you get,

A full-figured woman,

Proud of her thickness....



Interested in applying for a writers position?


     Send in the information below along with a clear photograph of yourself and one complete article at least 300 words.  Please make sure your article is matching the position your applying for.  If you are a versatile writer and applying for more than one position send in one article for each position.


     Any submissions maybe be used in the magazine as a guest article or other wise if you do not receive a position.  If you are picked for a position it will be used as a back up for your column in case of emergency.


I want to Apply for a Writers Position:


My Name is:

My email address is:

My Phone Number is:

My location/address is:

The position I am applying for is:


Here is my article:


I am allowing LargeInCharge to use my image and article as they see fit.  By typing my name and date I understand that I agree to the above.   NAME/DATE


Send to:


Thank you

Send in your Work to Appear in LargeInCharge

We love our guest writers, they help us to make LargeInCharge more personal and reader friendly place.  We bring the people words from there own peers.  If you always wanted to write but never knew what to do with your thoughts and opinions.  Send them in to us we love to feature you in our guest spot.


What type of entries do we accept?

  • Original Articles that have not been placed in publication.

  • Size Empowerment Stories

  • Discovery of Size Acceptance

  • Romance of Large Size

  • Poetry - at least 25 lines in length

  • Complaints about Society

  • Complaints about what is provided for Big People

  • Complaints about Health Care

  • Weight Loss Surgery Experiences

  • Dealing with Doctors

  • The Joy of being Big

  • Learning to Love yourself

  • etc.

How to Submit my Article for review?

  • Check your article for spelling and correct format, We do not edit articles.
  • Attach your article either in Word, Text Format, or in the Body of your email.
  • In your email send your Real Name, E-mail and Address (state, location).
  • Under your Name and Address include date, and the line. "I give and there owners, permission to use my written article. I am submitting it for there use at their discretion."
  • Include a picture if you so wish in .jpg or .gif format and a brief description of yourself.

Send in your stories, poems, etc. to



Ask Raqui

Ask your Questions and We will answer!

Send your question to Raqui -

NOTE: The Opinion of Raqui  is just that. I do not claim to be professional or to solve your problems.  I can however give you a real answer that may help you out.

Ask Raqui
Q:  I have been thinking about buying some sexier clothing. I feel I finally have the confidence to do it.  I am a very large lady and cant find sexy stuff.  Wear can I find some.
Raqui: You can go to this site. I actually have a couple of things from them.

Q:  You looked great at Vegas, Where did you get your clothes?


Raqui: This month look in the feature section and Raqui's Spot all my sponsors and clothing items will be there :)

Q:  I remember you telling how you had a positive air flight to Vegas. Which airline did you travel?



Raqui: I flew US Airways, I did have a positive flight and they were very respectful to me going to and coming from Vegas :)



Thank you for Reading Ask Raqui

Please send thoughts, comments and questions to

Large In Charge

Fashion Furious

BBW/BHM Fashion of the Month

     We all hate how the Fashion Industry is just scratching the surface when it comes to Large Sized Fashion.  But I have found out that many clothing stores and online companies are beginning to take up the slack.  Creative BBW, SSBBW and BHM's are making there own clothing or mix matching and finding basic everyday wear and night club wear. 

     Making it affordable is what can be hard so showcase your wonderful finds here.  If your a regular shopper, sew your own clothing or a designer showcase your clothing here by submitting a picture for Fashion Furious of the month.


Fashion Furious of the Month

How to send in your Fashion Find. Send a Clear Picture as an attachment

and use the Format Below to describe your Fashion Furious picture.

Email to Raqui:

Fashion Find by: Raqui

Fashion Type:  Summer Tunic

Why I Like this Item: I ordered this Tunic in the bright yellow after some time by the pool it will look great on against my skin tone.  These tunic are soft, comfy and easy to throw on with the same spandex leggings seen above.  You can wear it on any regular day or out for the night dress it up or down it is your choice :) and if it fits me at a 6X it will defiantly fit anyone. :)  This Tunic really makes your breast's look great and best of all it looks so much better on a fuller figure than the skinny chick above :)  for some reason on her it looks plain but with the curves it looks OUTTA SIGHT!!!!!


Roman's -




Send in your Fashion Furious Picture and Details to

Large In Charge

Product of the Month!

What is good for Big Sized Bodies


    A very important and necessary part of LargeInCharge.  Find out what is helpful for big bodies.  Keep your self straight with some of our tips and tricks. Find out what other Big Sized people use to keep themselves smelling, feeling, looking, and living a proper life.  What kind of products are allowed. Anything that deal with the body. From cleaning aids to soap, lotions, powder, healing aids etc.  anything that can help a big body!

NOTE: The Opinion of those who submit items are not professional.  They are everyday people who found something that worked for them.  We are not held responsible for there opinion - The Large in Charge Staff

Send your favorite Item to be Product of the Month - Follow format below, include a picture of product (most can be found online) and Send to

Product of the Month

About the Product

Recommender: Raqui

Name of Product: Hoveround

Type of Product: Mobility Products

Cost of Product: Depends on item / they help you get your for free or at little cost

Where Product can be found:

Let Hoveround power wheelchairs make your mobility challenges a thing of the past. Our innovative design, durability and customer service have made Hoveround products America's favorite mobility products. We are the only power chair manufacturer to design, sell and service our power wheelchairs, which are all made in the U.S.A. We also offer FREE guidance through the Medicare process, the HOVEROUND CUSTOM FIT, delivery and complete training. In addition, every power chair comes with our 30-day money back and "Never Without Wheels" guarantees. Rediscover your independence with a Hoveround power chair.

Why I like this Product: I like this company because they understand a big person's needs. 
I remember these commercials for years. They help the Elderly and Disabled get a Hoveround compatible mobility chair at little or no cost. They handle everything so it is easy for you. 



Send in your Product recommendation to

      Return to Back Issues of LargeInCharge Magazine    Return to the Front