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Large In Charge Magazine - Five Years on the Net!

 Issue #65 - August 2009

Welcome to LargeInCharge Magazine

In this Issue of L.I.C.



Raqui's Spot -  with our Founder Raqui


Big Girls on the Red Carpet  ~ Cher Rue


From the Plus Side ~ Emily Smiltneck

Good 4 U Food  ~ Xander


DID YOU KNOW?  ~ Iolande Argent

National & International Plus Sized News


Hot & Heavy Entertainment ~ Stephanie Baham


The Big GB My Gastric Bypass Memoirs - Soyna Bennett


CONFESSIONS - Let It Go and Confess!

Fashion Furious - Fashion Finds with Plus Size style.

Product of the Month - Products for People of Size


LargeInChargeDating - Dating for the Large People who are going to be in Charge of their Love Lives!


LargeInCharge Friends - The Place for Big People to make Friends and maybe MUCH MORE!

Feature of the Month

K.L. Belvin

Writer, Poet, Man In Transition




Written by: Raqui


     Mr. Belvin... K.L. as he likes to be called is an amazing man.  Not just because he is a most Handsome BHM (Big Handsome Man)  But because he has laid himself bare to the world and has show many his Transition from a former Club Hopping Woman Lover to a Spiritual, Dedicated Husband, Lover and Friend. 


     K.L. is a motivator, touching peoples hearts and minds with his words.  Not only on Paper but also with his Voice.  He is a man who has walked on many paths and has chosen wisely the right way for him.  This has lead him to happiness and something we all wish for.  A life worth Living.


     Mr. K.L. Belvin recognizes greatness because he is greatness.  Let me introduce you to this inspiring man.


  Give In - By K.L. Belvin

Interview with K.L. Belvin What is your name (Real and or Stage)?

My Name is Keith Belvin, I write under the name K. L. Belvin Where are you originally from, and where is your home state now?

I was born in South Jamaica, New York and have lived Penns Grove, New Jersey and Brooklyn, NY. I am currently back home in South Jamaica, NY Tell us about your home life, children, marital status, etc.

Currently it’s the wife and I. I have 4 children, 3 who don’t live with me. Do you consider yourself a person of Size?

Oh Yes! I am a Big Handsome man. Have you always shown an interest in writing and poetry?

Not really. It was something that took shape around 1999, 2000 when a co-worker said I should consider writing some poems. I did and wrote my first that year. How old were you when you began to write and what did you write?

I was 31 when I started writing different things here and there on the net. I was a strong erotic writer with a knack for erotic stories and poems. When did you start writing poetry and what inspired you?

I started writing poetry for sexual conquest. I found the more sexual I made my poems the more interested women became. It was a true motivator at the time. It truly fed the man I was at that time. We would like to know about your education, are you formally educated?

Yes, I hold 3 degrees, 2 undergraduate degrees. Associates in Business, Bachelors in Physical Education and Health Education and a Masters degree in Education. Have you taken courses or classes to study writing and or poetry?

None. I write simply from my heart. I know I break some of the rules of writing and so I have learned to trust my editors. My wife is my first editor of my work and then I send it to a professional editor. Have you ever performed your poetry or do you write only for reading?

I have preformed at the Bowery Poetry Club, The KGB Lounge and other places. I also have performed on various internet radio stations and have even hosted my own poetry half hour showcase on the net. What do you like to write about the most?

Since changing my life and becoming a born again Christian, I currently love to write romance, spiritual based and thought provoking material. I am working on a Non-Fiction novel at the moment. Does any of your writing/poetry focus on people of size?

I have poems I have written to women of size. One of my favorites is called Big Girl. It was the one I performed on your show. I love that piece. In my fictional stories my characters are of size. I like to add the women I love in the stories I write. Since I am a fan and a true lover of women of size I can’t help but add them to my stories. I understand you have also published a book can you tell us more about it?

My book is called “A Man In Transition” it is a collection of poems and observations which speak to the changes I have made in my life. From becoming a misogynistic man to one who love his faith and his wife. The book is written in chapters and the poems are broken down to fit those chapters. It really doesn’t read as a traditional poetry book. It also reads from the man I am now (Chapter 1 Spiritual poems) to the man I was (Chapter 6 the erotic writings). I did it this way so everyone could see the transition I am referring too. How did you get your work published, self published, publishing company?

I am a self published author. My wife and I decided to create our own publishing company called Bravin Publishing which is a combination of our last names Braxton and Belvin. It was a means to get my words out to the world. This way I could have full creative control of my words and poems. We researched the methods and went out and made it happen. It’s been a good experience so far. I am working on my second title and called “From Gigolo to Jesus. What other things do you creatively?

I write Non-Fiction and Fictional stories. I am considering screen plays in the future. I am also a wannabe chef. I try to get my G Garvin on for the wife and so far I have been pretty good with doing some special things in the kitchen. How did you get known on the circut?

I made a name for myself first in the BBW circles as Fatsx, many remember me as smooth, gentleman who was a ladies charmer. Now I am no longer that man and I am simply K. L.. I am a married writer who loves his wife, is a father who is trying to make up for mistakes, an Educator who loves to teach and loves children and who loves the Lord. I no longer travel in the BBW circles. I keep a low profile these days working on my writing and trying to be a role model for married men. I spent too many years being “The Guy you should never bring home to your mother” I am truly enjoying being “The Guy your mom’s wants you to marry” Do you have a manager, PR person etc.?

No manager and I have a PR person in the wings. I decided it would be better to wait until I finish the second book to allow the PR person to work their magic. R Media Group  is who I am going to go with early next year. Renee Jennings is proving herself a force in the PR game. She is a BBW who’s intelligence, drive and love of the Lord works for what I see for Bravin Publishing and myself. She is currently representing many in the Full Figured community. My wife included. How can people learn more about you, Website, Links etc?

My website is There’s tons of information which can be found there. I have radio interviews saved. As well as video interviews and poems recorded for the viewing and listening pleasures. I am on also myspace, KLThewriter is the screen name. Keith K L Belvin is my FaceBook screen name, and you can also find me on twitter under the name KLBelvin Tell us about the first time you saw your book in print how did it feel?

WOW, That day was moving. When I got the sample copy I held it up to look it over. The tears had started as I opened the manila folder. I was so nervous trying to open it up. I was saying to myself “hold it together big man, hold it together” I flipped open the cover and began to read. I almost couldn’t believe it was me. My words! I was actually a published writer. After wiping the tears away, I had a moment where I was transported back to eighth grade when my English teacher said “You were the worst thing your mother ever had!” I sat saying I can’t be too bad now sir. Then I simply held the book to my chest and thanked God for without him none of what I was doing would have ever been possible. How many books have you published so far, what are you working on for the near future?

I have one title published so far. I am working on the second called From Gigolo to Jesus: My Life as a Sexual Predator. It’s a tell all book of how a man becomes a person who will do what ever he can to obtain sex from women by any means possible. It’s the actual reflection of my transition. It will take through how the Lord reached down and spoke to me when I was 200 + miles about to cheat on my girlfriend (Now wife) for the numerous time. It will talk about how my wife and I overcame her catching me cheating three times. Having four children with three different women will be address in the book. Turning it all around to have a near perfect marriage and honeymoon, including hurricane Dean will be discussed in this non-fiction account of my life. Currently, I can be found in Mary B. Morrison’s Who’s Loving You? Page 246-249, The Soul of a Man, anthology pg 195. My story is titled the “The Choice” and later in November, I’ll be one of the author in “Bended Knees” a Christian Fiction anthology. Are people of size included in your writing?

My story in the “The Soul of a Man” is dedicated to my father and step mother who are Big Beautiful Couple. But my step mother is a very beautiful BBW. How do people of size feel about your books, do you get more positive or negative feedback?

I have gotten positive feedback from my work. I believe people of size connect with my work since I am a person of size. Now with my second book I am not sure if people of size will like my accounts of the BBW parties I cruised for close to ten years. I can only hope they take the time to sit and respect my opinion of what my accounts of my behaviors were and reasons behind them at that time. I never write with the idea of offending anyone. What have been some of the obstacles you have overcome as far as your career goes?

I am working on overcoming financial pains which come from publishing yourself. There is a point when personal monies and household expense can not be connected to the publishing company. The other obstacle is poetry itself. People love to listen to poetry but they don’t like to buy. Trying to make sure your words are heard and felt can be a obstacle many never get over. I have tried to keep my voice out by doing plenty of interviews and going out and doing as many signings and local affairs as I can. I don’t do poetry clubs as much since many not like the spiritual side to my work. Its very hard to spiritual inspired pieces when someone is speaking on their partners sexual areas or body parts.. Plus I am not a big fan of the club scene.. Are you currently on tour?

Not at the moment. I line up as many signings as I can. I travel where I can to read my work when asked as well as do seminars on relationships. I try to sell books wherever I am at. I am heading to North Carolina in August. I am looking forward to doing a few signings when I get there. Who are some of Spoken Word Performers and Authors that you admire?

Maya Angleou, Marc Lacy, Khari Toure, Mere Words, Eric Crow, Sun of Man as poets and authors Jawanzw Kunjufu, Malcolm X, Sun Tzu, The Bible What would you say to other aspiring Poets/Writers?

I would say be honest to your craft and to yourself. Write from your heart with everything you’re working on. I would warn any writer to learn the business aspect of the writing game. Know what you want to do with your writing when you start to place it out to the world. Also don’t post new material on the net. May contest and publishers do not want works that have been posted in other places. Once you place your work on a message board, website or anywhere it’s considered published. A writer should have some type of professional magazine coming to their home. A writer has to know what is going on in the market place as well the opinion of those in the game. What should they do to get there work out there?

They should start with entering contest. Look for poem and writing contest to start getting their name out. There are conferences and workshops which can give a tremendous amount of information and be able to speak with authors directly. Information is the key. Learn, Learn and Learn some more, then get out and be heard. A writer’s words need to be read and a poet needs to hear so people can feel the person behind the words or book. The next thing is manage your Time, Finances, Writing area and space. You have to remember to keep doing what made you successful when began writing. Don’t allow success go to your head. No matter how small it might come. Do you have other Poets/Writers that you collaborate with?

Oh Yes. I make it a habit to speak with others who are in the field of writing to discuss various topics which pertain to the idea of being a better writing. It’s also a way to stay current and connected to what is happening in various places. Tell us a few of the tricks you have learned?

OK. A few things I have learned are to be engaging with fans and customers. You need to treat everyone with the utmost respect when they are considering purchasing your work. Also, keep a neat and attractive table when you doing a book signing or book event. People want to see you have your area together it makes them feel positive when considering your work to purchase. This one speaks to the performance end of what I do, when at a reading or show, speak clear and with emotion. Weather, your pieces are memorized or you’re reading from a sheet, give your piece the emotion it deserves. Those who are listening really want to see what the piece means to you. Give it up. Lastly, remain humble, your never as good as you think you are. Keep your head clear and respect the fact someone wants to hear you or buy your work. Do you have a good support system from family and friends?

Oh of course. My wife, family and friends are big supporters of my work. They offer open and honest critique of my work. They promote me to their friends and loved ones. As well as keep me in prayer, which is something I ask for often. My connection to God is something I can count on to feed through my family and friends. What do you attribute your success to?

God first. Without him nothing I would attempt to do is possible. My talents are nothing more than gifts from the creator and I am charged with trying to display those talents as best as can whenever I can. Hard work is another factor to my success. I truly try to put the effort in to making myself a better writer and poet. There is also respect for writing. I take writing serious so I am always looking to strengthen my craft by learning and asking questions. Keeping your ego in check is something I live by and helps me to obtain more of what I need to move up in this business. Where will you be appearing next?

The month of August, I am scheduled to be in North Carolina, the 8th , 14 and 15. September, I am going to be in Queens for the Queens Book Fair, I’ll be a part of the Rochdale Festival and Harlem Book Fair Long Island. I am also in the process of scheduling book signings for the current book I am in called “The Soul of a Man” an anthology. In November, the next anthology I am in is coming out. It’s called Bended Knees. It’s a Christian anthology and I am excited since I feel my story is pretty good.

Right now I am working on getting more of my poetry heard and purchased; A Man in Transition is slowly becoming a household name. Simply because its poetry written from the heart of man who has changed his life. Many say men don’t change; my poetry is putting that to the test. The message in this book is a powerful statement to men. The current book released on Father’s day, The Soul of a Man, speaks on the way men can overcome negative situations through their faith. In this book you have 14 brothers laying down their feelings and thoughts and really getting at the heart of what it is to be man who needs to be connected to his Faith to make it through. Is your writing career your primary source of work?

No its not. I am a New York City Educator, which I have been for the past 11 years. This September, I am moving into a new position as high school dean. I am looking forward to it. I love teaching. I really enjoy being around the students and see where I can get them to stretch their minds. This is what pays the bills. My writing is an extra love which I work into my daily fabric. What other things do you do and do you tie them in with your career?

I am bowler. I have been bowling for over 20+ years now. As well as I am practicing chef in my free time. Cooking for the wife has become fun and I am learning new things in the kitchen. I love to travel. I spend a good amount of time driving from state to state for different book events. I also try to head to different countries when I can.

I tie all I do into my writing. I draw from any interaction with people when I am writing. It allows me to make a poem come to life or give a story legs. So to me, I make a strong attempt to connect all that I am a part of and allow it to be seen in each piece. Give us one word that you can say best represents your work?

Honorable How much have you evolved as a Poet since those early days?

I really can’t say how much. I have grown more confident since my early days of writing poetry. At the moment my push is away from poetry towards non-fiction and fiction writing. I have ideas I believe will make great stories as well as inspire others who read them. How can the readers at help support you?

WOW, really I would say buy the books. I know that seem obvious but it’s the truth. I am a self published author/poet. Everything I do is to keep which is connected to my books is paid for by me with revenue made from selling books. I ask anyone who purchases a book to simply read them and then share their thoughts with others. My poetry book is not written like other poetry books because I wrote it as a chapter book. I wrote it this way to truly tell my story. I would say to anyone buy, read it and share your feelings it’s very important to the growth of a new writer like myself. I would also humbly ask anyone who picks up a copy of my book to please post a review on and on my website.  This way others can read and make a decision on whether they should pick up my book or not. Next, come out to the book signings and meet me. I love meeting new people and discussing my work or anything. It is truly an honor to sign my name to a person who has taken the time out to purchase it from me.

I want to thank and Raqui for taking the time out to consider me for interview. As a support of the fuller figured person, media outlet like this are needed to give voice to those who don’t have one. I wish continued blessings in all you do.

Peace, Love and Respect.

K. L. Belvin

Author of “A Man in Transition”

Contributor to “The Soul of a Man”



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Cover Model of the Month


T Marlene


Interview with our Cover Model of the Month What is your name?

T Marlene Where are you from and what is your current Location?

I’m from Baltimore, Maryland but live in Tampa, Florida Can you give us some information about yourself (Age, Height, Size, Nationality, Marital Status, Children, etc.)?

Age 30, Height 5’7, size 18, African American, Single, No kids, no siblings. Were you a big child, or did you gain weight later in life?

I gained weight after the age of 7 when my beautiful southern cooking grandmother came to live with my mother and I. (If you were a big child) how did you feel growing up as a large child?

It was very difficult growing up large. I was teased constantly. I ended up hating myself and my life. It wasn’t until I got to high school that I started to see myself as beautiful and gained some confidence. I peaked in college. What made you decide to enter the LargeInCharge model search?

I am a plus advocate and love to help promote anything that is size positive. LargeInCharge does just that not just with the magazine but in everything and I’d love to be a part of that. Did you find it a hard journey to be accepted for your size?

Yes, I’ve had so called friends tell me to sit in the middle of their back seat of their car because of their shocks. I’ve had family members say keep going instead of just congratulating me when I’ve lost weight. And the dating scene isn’t much better. Some guys tend to think all plus women are easy or have the attitude that I should praise God for you even talking to me. On the modeling side, plus still is hard to get recognized for being beautiful. I’ve been given praise for strutting my stuff in auditions being the only plus girl but still didn’t make the cut. Do you find acceptance among your family and friends?

My family ranges in sizes so no one really gets on anyone for their size. My friends love me regardless of my size. What would you say inspires you most in life?

My inspiration has changed over the years. My inspiration now is my late grandmother. She died in March of 2006 and my mom told me that before she died she said she admired me. It shocked me that a 70 year old woman would admire me. She admired me because I did all the things I said I wanted to do. I moved to Florida, got my degree and started modeling. For that she admired me, so I continue to press on making sure she keeps that admiration from heaven. What is your primary job?

Well now modeling and writing. I just got laid off of my day job. I also do graphic design for freelance. How did you get into this line of work?

My mom was a model and so I’ve always wanted to do it too. Writing, I’ve always written poetry since a child. Do you find acceptance in the work force?

Yes. I worked in a field where its about skill and not appearances. What changes do you believe should take place for Large People in the work force?

I think companies need to do a better job providing healthy choices for individuals. Being plus does not mean you can’t be healthy. At my job the healthy snack choices were few and would run out first. What do you think about the fashion industry for big sized clothing?

The fashion industry has changed but not enough. Its sad that some of these catalog companies and websites still use smaller models to sell clothing geared toward the larger sizes instead of using plus models. What do you wish to see change with the fashion industry?

Models getting jobs based on talent rather than size. People to realize that its beauty that sells not size. What changes do you think will happen if plus sized modeling for men and women were to expand?

You’d see more of us in advertisements and commercials. Possibly the end to eating disorders because people would see more models that look like them than they do sticks. Tell us some of the places you buy your clothing from.

Ashley Stewart, Avenue, Torrid, Lane Bryant. Tell us one of your secret beauty tips.

Proactiv. Worked great when followed properly. Don’t take my word, my co-workers noticed a glow and a clearer skin. Give us some tips on how to have a successful Photo shoot. What should models be prepared for?

Bring extra. They say 3 outfits, bring 5. Even if the wardrobe is picked out for you sometimes things may not work or you may have an accessory that works better. Bring jewelry, makeup…just come prepared. You never know what may happen or may be needed. Look at Size acceptance five years ago... look at size acceptance now. What changes do you see?

There is more of an appreciation of plus women, there are more jobs in the modeling industry, there are more plus organizations and clubs….just more and it’s great. People are realizing that just because you are larger doesn’t mean you are unhealthy mentally or physically. Instead of constantly trying to change us, “they” have no accepted us for who we are. What changes do you think will happen five years from now with size acceptance?

Continued acceptance, more opportunities, more of us on the big screen in larger roles, and maybe even in more love scenes. Just expansion. Society seems to go through phases with acceptance…we went through race issues, sex issues, now its size. African Americans fought for equality, women fought for equality, now plus demands equality. Tell us about your goals as far as modeling and other interests.

I plan to make a name for myself in the plus industry. Do more photo shoots, fashion shows, also continue to assist other women who are interest in modeling get the connections or information needed to get started. Publish more books. Eventually take off with my spoken word and acting. My most important goal is to continue to be a positive influence and inspiration to others in everything I do. Can you tell us about an inspirational moment in you life that made you feel good about your size.

Most recently it would be when I had a shoot on the beach. I was in a swimsuit and the photographer had his tripod up snapping away and there were two young girls walking by. They stopped and were so captivated, I could hear them talk about how pretty I was. Then one of the girls turned to the other and said “I can be a plus model!” It’s like it just dawned on her, the light bulb came on that what I was doing, she could also do. They asked what I was doing it for and other questions, then she asked if she could take pictures and the photographer said sure she just had to get permission. She ran off so excited and asked her grandmother about it. Now whether she follows through or not, I don’t know. But just being there when she realized that she too could do what I do no matter her size, was great. I think if I had been a skinny model she wouldn’t have had that realization but because I was plus like her…it happened. Is there a person in your life that makes you keep going?

My late grandmother. People may get tired of hearing this, but before passing in 2006 she said that she admired me. A 70 yr old admiring a 28 yr old. I find that awesome and it’s what pushes me…I continue to make sure that she is still admiring me. What advice would you give to other people of size who want to model?

Be serious about, it is not for the faint of heart. Be prepared for rejection. Do your research and apply to everything. Just cause it doesn’t specify what size doesn’t mean you can’t do it, you never know until you try. What plus size figure do you admire?

Patti LaBelle, Jill Scott and Queen Latifah. Describe yourself with one word.




Thanks for reading about our

Cover Model of the Month

Raqui's Spot

     Raqui the Owner and Founder of LargeInCharge Magazine.  This spot is dedicated to her thoughts, vents, and observations of Plus Sized Life.  Raqui's  "Tell it like it is" style of writing has brought thousands to her blogs and millions to  There is so much behind the woman who has brought this magazine into existence.  Being Internationally known as a wrestler/squasher lead the way to modeling for companies and being featured in magazines and documentaries from all over the world.  She has made a career out of her size and personality. Born, Raised and Residing in the Bronx NYC. This city girl is taking the world by storm.


     For the past 5 years Raqui officially moved into Size Acceptance and Empowerment.  With the creation of LargeInCharge she took what she said to individuals to a higher level and made it public to the internet world. She is a woman who doesn't let things get to her.  Knock her down for the moment but she will rise up stronger and better.  Being a speaker on behalf of many subjects and counseling Plus Sized people online her grace and style has made people love her.  Raqui continues to set an example of a powerful woman who will bend the world to fit her, her way.


     Raqui's appearances include, Uk Television, German TV, Japan, Europe, Sweden and the Spanish circuit.  Her many magazines appearances have been world wide.  She has hit American Television in 2006 with Good Morning American and since has appeared on The Cristina Show,  The Maury Show and The Tyra Banks Show.

To view her Online portfolio visit

Raqui feature on and Glamour Plus - go to Portfolio Section

Mary Monroe's New Release - 4th in the God Don't like Ugly Series

Written By: Raqui 




     I became a Mary Monroe Fan with her first book "God Dont Like Ugly".  I was personally put off with God in the title but because I kept hearing over and over again how good it was I broke down and bought it.  I have been hooked every since.  Not just to the God Dont Like Ugly Series but to all her marvelous books. 


     This New York Times Best Selling Author has captured me with her words and with her marvelous personality.  Yes she does answer all her email herself :)   I have featured her in LargeInCharge some years ago and I am more than pleased to update all of you at to what she is up to now.


     Her 12th book God Aint Blind took me away as the story of Annette Good an over weight child who has now grown up and married with her own child takes on a new evil.  Through these books you see Annette go through childhood and grow with her best friend beautiful slim and trim Ronda by her side.  They have a friendship that lasts a lifetime and a ton of secrets they keep as well.  Some so devastating it almost ruined there friendship and lives.


     I especially like that Annette is a Plus Sized woman who goes through so much and evolves in different ways.  She is loved by her friends and family as she is.


     I recommend highly you read the God Don't Like Ugly series among other books Ms. Monroe has written.  Almost every book has a substantial Plus Sized character in it and I enjoy that very much.



Words from Mary Monroe


It was a real honor to be part of the 100th anniversary of the NAACP in New York City the week of July 13, 2009.  Along with several other authors, I signed copies of some of my books for a couple of hours.  Unfortunately, I did not get to meet Mr. Obama--this time.  But I sincerely enjoy getting out to meet the people who read my books as well as some of the authors I admire.


This is my twelfth book, and the fourth book in my God Don't Like Ugly series. I will be going on a multi-city book tour and the cities and dates will be listed on my web site.


Mary Monroe



LargeInCharge Radio - Weekly Radio show discussing Plus Sized Issues.  Friday's 7-9 pm EST - Call in & Chat in our Chat Room.

Raqui's Cool Links  

Raqui's My Space Page

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Thank you for Reading Raqui's Spot

Please send thoughts and comments to

Super Sized Sounds



     Super Sized Sounds will be a Music Column that will feature those who are in the industry or up and coming who are size positive. Giving recognition to the plus sized people who are out there and showcasing themselves.  Reviews, Interview, News and more from our new writer Super Sized Spanishfly Lynx.


      Lynx Garcia, also known as "SUPERSIZE SPANISHFLY", is a Latina BBW from Queens NYC.  Lynx is an activist speaking out against size discrimination and began performing back in 1996 at social events for big beautiful women and big handsome males and their admirers. Her special mixture of sound held true as she sang, spat, danced and performed spoken word, soon she was in demand by Big and Beautiful parties nationwide.  Lynx taking her "look" and sound mainstream was rejected because of her size. She did not let this break her spirit, hurt her confidence or minimize her drive. Instead she rose up and started a public access show (LYNX' LAIR) aired in Queens on TIME WARNER QPTV . Combination of comedy and sexy style, she showcased underground artists of all walks of life. The response to her show was less than a year she has showcased many artist, some who moved to bigger and better things.


     Currently Lynx has caught the attention of Joey Mekkah of BLACK SOLARIS ENTERTAINMENT and found herself on the Grandmaster MELLE MEL's SOLO ALBUM "MUSCLES" featured on the hot latin hip-hop track called 'DIMELO", she is the only collaboration on the album. Lynx recently has started her own radio show on EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO.COM  called Ladies Night. EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO is #1 on the itunes network.





click here And here is the Mocha and Praline Sundae (Raq Place photo here) T.I. Ft Rihanna “Live your Life”

My people, mi gente….Summer is here in New York City and we are finally seeing the sun after almost an entire month of rain, the creator gives us what we need so I take it as a sign I need to clean house, drink more water and flush out the negative vibrations.

This month I have to acknowledge the passing of some of the entertainment world’s greats and a young beautiful woman I was fortunate enough to spend time with on this earth, who was a star in her own right. Michael Joseph Jackson (Aug. 29,1958 - June 25,2009)- This being, I call him a being because he had to be from some intergalactic planet, he possessed talent and creativity beyond measure, beyond anything we could comprehend but that we were fortunate to experience.

He grew up with us, his video premieres would halt prime time television (yes, he had that kind of money ). His career began performing alongside his brother’s in the Jackson Five. His debut album “Off The Wall” (1979) introduced the world to ultimate creativity and originality in it’s infancy and that album till this day remains one of the top selling albums to date but his 1982 album but his album “Thriller”(1979) is THE the top selling album of all time. And folks, MTV should stand for Michael Television as his videos dominated the video show and helped catapult ,in my opinion, MTV into the success is has become. We all wanted to be Michael Jackson, we imitated his robot and moonwalk and some of us (yes I am guilty) purchased the glove, and he has influenced some of the greatest artists of our time, could you not look at Usher’s or Timberlake's moves and not think of Michael?

Imitated by many but duplicated by none. Like Ice T said in his twitter update, “they can say what they want about Michael but he was 100% original and he will be greatly missed” What I won’t do my people, is get into the negative aspects of Michael’s life, there are so many other media outlets doing it, with pleasure I might add. So although it is part of History you won’t find it here. On June 25, 2009 Michael Jackson “the King of Pop” died of cardiac arrest, shocking the world and delivering a devastating blow to the entire world as people mourned for Michael in what appeared to be every street corner all over the world. MJ was known for his epic music videos it but it was in his live performances that would allow us to watch this being in all his raw emotion and intensity with no constraints. It was SPIRITUAL. MICHAEL JACKSON performs “Man In The Mirror” with The Gospel Choir @ The 1988 Grammy Awards

MICHAEL JACKSON @ The Motown 25 yr Anniversary

Farrah Fawcett (Feb.2,1947-June 25,2009)-“Flips and layers and more flips and more layers” I told the hair stylist, when I was finally allowed to choose my own style. How I ended up with Billy Ray Cyrus’ mullet hair doo is beyond me and I was left with an achy breaky heart ;-( The inspiration behind the Flips and layers , why Jill Munroe of the television hit series “Charlie’s Angels”. Jill Munroe was smart, sexxy and sassy and her entire personality and swag was all due to Farrah Fawcett’s excellent acting skills. We would later follow Farrah to see her portray some of the most harshest women’s role to date as in “The Burning Bed” where she played a battered wife , or in the movie version of “Extremities” where she potrays a rape victim who turns the tables on her attacker. She was married to Lee Majors from 1973-1982. She would fall in love with Ryan O’Neal and was with him from 1982 till her death. They had a son Redman O’Neal who was incarcerated due to drug possession and was allowed to visit his dying mother with shackles on his feet. Farrah was diagnosed with anal cancer in 2006. She fought the cancer tooth and nail and sought treatment in Germany and tried unconventional healing alternatives but lost her fight on June 25,2009. She was an icon, an incredible actress and she will me missed. Enjoy the clips of this French, English Choctaw native beauty.

Natasha Mahelona aka “The Strawberry Girl” (Feb 2,1981-June 17,2009- certainly she was one of the most beautiful BBW’s ever to grace this earth, she was a gentle , kind ,loving Amazon Queen from the Island of Hawaii. She was my co-host on my public access show, “Lynx’s Lair” and she followed me to Extravagangsta Radio where we both set the underground Hip-Hop world on fire by attending events and always being the ONLY BWW’s present, I would interview guests and she would feed them Strawberries and whipped cream , and any event I would go to with out her, people would run up to me and ask “Where’s The Strawberry Girl”.

One time we covered an open mic night at The Remote Lounge in Manhattan and we were there to interview two artists in particular but when we turned around there were like 15 guys/ underground artists waiting to get their strawberry . One guy even said “I’m allergic to Strawberries, but I don’t care, give it to me big sexxxy Mama!” She never spoke, she just giggled and jiggled her way and lit up the room when she entered, she had this glow, this energy about her. Super sexxy , shy ,timid and something very innocent and childlike about her, anyone who met her fell in love with her warm ways, she was not just my co-host ,my make-up artist, my stylist but my dear, dear friend, who believed in me and saw me as this huge Superstar who would make it very far,

My people, when I was in the hospital on what had appeared to be my deathbed, she held my hand and cried over me and prayed for my healing, when I came to she was right there, crying and telling me to never leave her, that I was her very, very best friend….Oh Tasha, you left me/us and I will miss you forever, thank you for the wonderful times . On June 17th, 2009 Natasha Mahelona lost control of her car and was pronounced dead at the scene. Tasha is survived by her daughter Dana and her son Puni. From The Large In Charge Family to The Mahelona Ohana, our deepest condolences. Be sur e to stop by the dedication page Nastha’s family has set up in her memory 

Here she is ,my beautiful Strawberry girl….gone but never forgotten, STRAWBERRIES FIELDS FOREVER!


Here we are with JuJu of the Beatnuts Lynx lair interview with Ju Ju from the Beat Nuts

******MINI TRIBUTE****** Can’t leave out Ed Mcmahan (March 6,1923-June 23,2009)- Johnny Carson’s side kick,host of Star Search , fundraiser ,entertainer. No cause of death given but many speculate it was due to his many health issues which turned for the worst over the past couple of months before his death.

I always did want to see him at my front door holding that publishers clearing house check ;-) What else can we do my people, live, love and laugh and honor our dead with conversations and memories. SALUTE TO OUR ANCESTORS!!

Want to send in your Voice in for review? Are you a singer, rapper, or poet who performs spoken word?  Up and Coming, already established?  Contact Lynx through her Myspace page or email and all information will be forwarded to her (PUT "FOR LYNX" IN THE SUBJECT AREA) 

You must be a Size Positive Artist, or a Plus Sized Supporter.

Thanks for reading

Super Sized Sounds with Lynx


Lynx Cool Links

From the Plus Side


Emily Smiltneck

     From the Plus side will be column dedicated to short stories that deal with all aspects of Plus size Life.  Emily Smiltneck was chosen for this position because of her dedication, and realistic writing style. She captures the emotional and mental rollercoaster those who are Plus Sized go through.


     Emily Susanne Smiltneck lives in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan (pretty much dead center in the middle of nowhere). She is a substitute teacher, and has recently started a tutoring business. Emily is currently working on several writing projects, including a historical fiction novel and several collections of poetry.

Emily Smiltneck receives recognition in Neighbors Daily Press - See article below


     It is a great joy when our fellow Plus Sized people receive recognition for their life's work.  Join me in this Joyous moment when one of our LargeInCharge writers is seen for her contribution and great dedication to her goals in life.  Click the images above to read the article about our dear Emily. When the page open click on the article to zoom in and read it.


The Adventures of Phatgurl

by Emily Suzanne Smiltneck  

The Adventures Of Phatgurl is a serial collection of stories about the adventures of Jany, a plus-sized young woman who, in desperation, places an ad on a personals website.  As she embarks on her dates, she meets many different kinds of men who expect many different things from her.  Some of her adventures are wildly amusing and others are more serious and even sad. 

If you have any ideas or experiences, funny or otherwise, that you would like to see depicted in a future Phatgurl story, please e-mail me at  I will do my very best to incorporate all reader ideas into future columns.  Thanks!


The Ad (Part 2)

SWSSBBW seeks SM who will not rape her, emotionally or otherwise.  The ability to both speak and write in complete sentences is a plus.  Must not inadvertently throw her down stairs or pretend that she is “Mama.”  Intelligent conversation, a little respect, and the lack of a current significant other will get you far.  And a well-developed sense of humor won’t hurt, either.  If you like smart chicks with jelly bellies and thunder thighs, reply to

Candidate 2.2: The Boy-Man




Subject: Hey, Gurl


Yo, what up?  Ya wanna hook up sumtime, hit me back.




Subject: Re: Hey, Gurl


Um… yo?  Is that how I’m supposed to respond?  I am “hitting you back,” but I’m not sure if I feel like “hooking up.”  I guess it depends exactly what you mean by hook up and what kind of guy you turn out to be.  Fair?  How ‘bout if ya tell me a little more about yourself and we’ll go from there.  And feel free to ask questions about me.




Subject: Re: Re: Hey, Gurl


I have a daughter, four years old.  I get her every weekend and a few weeks at a time in the summer.  I love her more than anything.  I work at a call center, and when I need a little extra money, I work nights for my brother doing computer programming stuff- just the input kind of stuff.  I don’t know much about programming.  I live just out of the burbs in a place that feels sort of like the middle of nowhere, but I’m close to my kid, so I can deal with it.  I’m into fishing and that kind of shit.  And when I said hook up, I meant get together.  I wouldn’t complain if we hooked up when we hooked up, though.  Get what I mean?




Subject: “Hooking Up”


I would be more than happy to hook up with you, but I will not promise to HOOK UP with you.  I like to think I’m a classy broad, and while I do know how to have a good time, I like to make sure it’s going to BE a good time before I have it.  Do YOU get what I mean?  As long as we’re clear on that, when do you want to get together?  Oh, and here’s a pic.  When you see it, it could change everything.




Subject: Re: “Hooking Up”


ASAP.  That’s when I wanna hook up.  You need to grow a set of balls, girl.  Ain’t nothin’ wrong with the way you look and you gotta OWN that.  Come see me Friday after work.  We’ll hang.  You can sleep on my couch if ur too tired to go home.  I attached directions to my house.


            Jany had a driver’s license, but she’d never gotten around to getting a car—public transportation was just plain cheaper, all things considered.  She had, on occasion, borrowed one of the three cars Mala owned but never seemed to actually drive anywhere, though.  It was one of the perks of being cashier, janitor, personal assistant, conscience, and logic to a woman who was so caught up in her own creative process that she barely seemed to live on Earth.  So, on Tuesday morning, Jany talked to Mala, and, as usual, Mala absent-mindedly dropped a set of keys into Jany’s hand and waved her away without question or comment, intent on her latest creation.  And so the problem of getting there was taken care of.

            Friday morning, Jany’s phone rang just as she was waking up for work.  Sleepily, she answered it without really looking to see who it was.  A voice that Jany was far too tired to recognize said, “Hey, Sexy.”

            “Uh, hi.  Who—who is this?”

            “Who do you think it is?” the deep voice asked.

            “It’s 5:30 in the morning and I’m half asleep—I don’t think at all.”

            “It’s me.  Don.”

            “Don?  Oh, Don!”  Jany laughed as she sat up in bed.  “I’m sorry.  You woke me up.  So what’s new?”  Jany tried hard not to express her irritation at such an early wake-up call.  While one or two of the e-mails Don had sent had seemed crass and unintelligent, their phone conversations were full of art and politics and family and all the things that made Jany fall hardest for a man, and so she had no desire to discourage him from calling.

            “I just wanted to hear your voice.  And tell you a few things.”


            “I dunno.”  His voice was quiet, guarded.  Like a child’s when he or she is about to admit to some sort of wrongdoing.  “Well, my apartment’s kinda nasty right now.  I’ve just been busy and lazy lately.”

            “Okay.  I mean, that’s fine.  I can deal.”  Jany’s heart went out to Don; she was touched that he would be that worried about impressing her, and amazed that a guy, for once, felt as though he needed to impress her.

            “Cool.  I thought maybe you’d help me clean up a little.  My little girl’s comin’ tomorrow.  And I need to do laundry, so we might chill at the Laundromat for a while.  Oh, and if you could help me cut my hair, that’d be cool.  And we need to do some shopping so I can make you dinner.  Whaddya like?” 

            “Uh, I like just about anything, really.”

            “I hate it when chicks do that!  Why do women never have an opinion until a dude does something and it’s the wrong thing?”

            “I do have an opinion.  My opinion is that whatever you feel like making is fine.”

            “All right, then.  Bacon double effing cheeseburgers.”

            “Sounds good.  See?  Was that so hard?”  Jany was angry, now.  She felt foolish that she had been so eager to comfort Don when he had only intended to give her a list of jobs to do.

            “Whatever,” Don spat back.  “Anyway, I gotta get my ass to work.  See ya.”


            Jany wondered if Don was for real or if it was just some kind of test to see if she was a raging feminist or a controlling woman.  She also wondered if maybe his behavior was normal and she had just never encountered such requests because of her limited dating experience.  In any case, she figured it couldn’t hurt to meet the guy and see what he was all about.  At times he seemed fairly intelligent and decent, and she’d have a car, so if things got weird, she could just leave.  He seemed more like the men she read about in novels and magazines than any of the other guys she’d dated so far, anyway.  Jany shook off her thoughts and got out of bed.  Don’s phone call had stolen a good chunk of her morning, and it was time to get going.  Probably not a good idea to be late on the day she was borrowing her boss’s car.

            After work, Jany hurried home and carefully parked Mala’s car on a side street.  She ran upstairs to shower, change, and grab her bag, and then she was on her way.

            She was just getting out of the worst of the city traffic when her phone rang. 


            “Yo.  Don.  What up?”

            “Not much.  And, uh, what up with you?”

            “Just checkin’ in.  Where ya be, girl?”

            Jany glanced down at Mala’s GPS. 

            “Um, I’m about an hour away, it looks like.”

            “’Kay, cool.  So I think I’m gonna run to the casino for a bit.  If you get to my place and I’m not home, just go on in.  It ain’t locked.  It’s a white building, business called Clyde’s, and ya go up the outside stairs in the back.  I’m the only door on the upper level.”

            If he was so worried about the state of his apartment, Jany wondered, why was he not going home to clean?  But she didn’t want to come across as a nagging girlfriend type, so she grasped for another straw.

            “I’m not sure it’s a good idea for me to chill in your house alone.  I mean, you don’t even know me.”

            “It’s cool, it’s cool.  Just go ahead in.  Feel free to start cleaning if you want.  See ya in a while.”

            And he was gone.  By the time Jany was pulling into the parking lot next to Clyde’s Adult Novelties—Don had apparently neglected to mention what kind of business Clyde’s was—there was a giant knot in her stomach.  Bravely, she made her way up the stairs and knocked on the door, just in case.  Nothing.  She slid down onto the stairs and pulled out her phone.  Don answered on the fourth ring.

            “Yo.  Damn, girl, whaddya want?”

            “Well, excuse me.  I was just wondering what you were up to.”

            “Still at the casino.  You at the apartment?”

            “Yeah.  Sitting outside.”

            “Well, go ahead in.  Clean something.  I’ll head home in a while.”

            And he was gone again.  Jany considered just going home, but she really didn’t want to.  Maybe once they were together, face to face, the intelligent and charming side of Don would come out again and they would have a wonderful evening.  Jany’s burgeoning sense of confidence wasn’t yet strong enough to let her pass up the possibility of a real connection with someone, no matter how slim the chance of such a connection was.  She slowly stood up and approached the door.  There was an envelope stuck in the screen door.  14th District Court, it said across the front in blue lettering.  She was briefly tempted to steam it open and read it, see what kind of guy Don really was, but she quickly abandoned the thought, left the envelope where it was and went inside.  Her first impression was not a wonderful one.  There were dirty dishes in the sink, an overflowing garbage can against one wall of the kitchen, half-put-together shelving units all over the place, and junk everywhere. 

            Jany gingerly made her way to the dusty couch and balanced on the edge of it.  She decided to read for a while, try to relax.  She’d finished her book and gotten a good start on another one by the time her phone rang. 

            “Hey, babe.  I’m leaving now.  You ready to see me?”

            “I better be.  I’ve been here for an hour and a half waiting.”

            “Aw, you’re not mad, are ya?  I told ya I haven’t been to the casino in a while.  I needed to unwind.  Anyway, see ya when I get there.”

            Jany gritted her teeth and tossed her phone onto the couch.  His habit of ending phone calls abruptly, without finishing conversations, was becoming more than a little irritating.

            When Don finally burst through the door, Jany looked up expectantly.  Physically, he was far more attractive than Jany had expected him to be from the photos she had seen.  His attitude, however, was not as attractive.

            “Goddamn mother—” he was saying, as he tore open the envelope from the 14th District Court.  Then he looked toward Jany.  “Hey, there, good to see you!”  He paused to hug her, then continued his rant.  “Stupid court.  I owe ‘em like 90 bucks and now they say I gotta pay up by next week.  I hate that stupid woman!”

            “Yeah, you too—” Jany started, but stopped.  She was pretty sure he’d already forgotten the ‘good to see you part,’ which sort of took the meaning away from her response.  She didn’t know what he had to pay the court for or what woman he hated, but it didn’t seem like a good time to ask.  Don was on a roll, though, and didn’t give her time to respond anyway.

            “You didn’t start cleaning, hey?  I was hoping you’d’ve at least done some dishes.  Oh, well.  You don’t mind if I play some video games, do you?”  As he talked, Don stripped down to his boxer shorts and planted himself on the floor in front of the TV.  Jany stared incredulously at the half nude and totally rude man who was making her feel more and more like just packing up and leaving.

            “Um, no.  That’s cool, I guess.”  She settled back into the couch and picked up her book again.  The only sounds were the annoying bleeps of the video game and Don’s intermittent swearing, until a loud ring tone burst from his phone.  He quickly paused the game and picked up the phone.  He looked back at Jany.

            “Shit, I gotta take this.  Gimme a minute.”  He stood up and bolted into the bedroom.  “Hey, honey.  What up?” Jany heard him say.

            Another woman.  He apparently couldn’t even let the call go to voicemail and call the woman back when he was alone.  Jany grabbed her bag and stood up, ready to walk out.  He wouldn’t even know until after she’d driven.  But then she put the bag back down and perched on the edge of the couch again. 

            She wasn’t so desperate for attention that she was willing to go through anything to get it anymore.  Six months ago, that would have been the case, and Jany was proud that she had moved beyond that.  But if not desperation, what was keeping her from leaving?  It wasn’t Don’s charm, that’s for sure.  She wasn’t sure what was keeping her there, but it wasn’t desperation.  Maybe it was the train wreck effect—she just couldn’t ignore her fascination with what was sure to be a grand disaster.  And not matter whether the evening got better or not, it seemed as though it might turn out to be one hell of a story.

            She was smiling bravely when Don came back into the room.

            “So, what we gonna do now?” he asked.

            “I really don’t know.  What did you have planned?”

            “Was thinkin’ about supper.”

            “That’s cool.”

            Don went in the kitchen and cupboard doors started creaking and bumping.

            “Shit.  I ain’t got no buns,” Don grumbled loudly.  For a minute there was no sound or movement from the kitchen.  Then, “Yo, Mama!  Didja hear me?”

            “I heard you,” Jany said coolly, walking into the kitchen.  “I didn’t know I was supposed to respond.”

            “You gonna run to the store and buy us some buns?”

            “Am I gonna do what?”

            “Run to the store for buns.  Never mind.  We’ll just use bread.”  Don opened the freezer.  “Damn.  I don’t got nothin’ to go with the burgers.  Hey, com’ on.  Run to the store for me.”

            “I don’t know where it is—”

            “Yeah, that’s cool.  I figured.  Whatever.  We’ll just do this.”  Don’s tone made it clear that he thought she was making weak excuses for not doing something that was ger duty.  He took several mostly empty plastic bags from the freezer and dumped them all out on a baking sheet into what amounted to a tiny mountain of mozzarella sticks, French fries, tater tots, and egg rolls.

            “Get the bread ready.  We’ll do open-faced sandwiches.”

            Jany stared vacantly at the countertop.  It was a common problem she had, not being sure of what to do in someone else’s kitchen.  She was always afraid she would do something her way, rather than the other person’s way, and be reprimanded.

            “Com’ on!  The burgers are almost done!”

            “I—what do you want me to do?”

            “I said get the damn bread ready!”

            “What do you want me to do with the damn bread?”

            “Get it ready for open-faced goddamn sandwiches!”  He tossed a pack of paper plates onto the countertop in front of her.

            As she was scooting his dirty dishes and loose papers and mail over to make room to set two paper plates next to each other, Jany wondered again why she was still there.  She couldn’t quite make herself leave, though.  Maybe it was her penchant for never leaving things unfinished.

            “Jany!  What the hell am I gonna do with you?  Two pieces of bread on the plates.  Two.  We’re having sandwiches!”

            Mutely, Jany added a piece of bread to each paper plate.  An open-faced sandwich is on one piece of bread, asshole.  That’s why it’s called open-faced, Jany wanted to say.  She didn’t, of course.  She just smiled sweetly into Don’s eyes as she fantasized about dumping his ice cold beer over his head.  Humming to himself, Don slid a hamburger patty from the skillet onto each plate.

            “What kinda cheese you want?”

            “Cheddar is good,” Jany replied.

            “All I got is American.”  He unwrapped two pieces of American cheese and slapped one onto each burger.  Then he threw a towel over his hand and grabbed the baking sheet out of the oven.  “Gimme your plate.”

            Jany tried to hand him her paper plate, but he looked at her derisively. 

            “Put it under the corner of the pan, girl.” 

            Jany rolled her eyes but complied and he slid half of the contents of the baking sheet onto her plate and the rest onto his own.  Then she stood silently and waited for some indication of where Don intended to settle down to eat.  He leaned one hip against the counter and held his plate in one hand.  He’d made dinner for her but expected her to go buy half of it and then made her to stand up in the kitchen to eat?  Classy date.

            They ate quickly; on Jany’s part, it was mainly because she wanted to sit down somewhere and figured she couldn’t until she finished eating.  Finally, Don handed her his empty plate.  She accepted it, but looked at him curiously.

            “Throw it away, woman.  Don’t just stand there all night.”  He disappeared into the bedroom.

            Jany threw away their plates and then looked around the kitchen.  Should she do dishes or something?  He had, after all, made her dinner.  Then she shrugged her shoulders and settled herself on the couch in the living room again.  If he didn’t care to impress her, why should she try to impress him?  She’d been there for only a few minutes when Don called for her to come into his room.  Cautiously, unsure of what she’d find, she got up and peeked through the doorway.  He was laying on his bed, still in his boxers.  At least he wasn’t completely naked.

            “Come on, baby.  Come lay down.”

            Jany joined him on his bed, a bare mattress on a box spring on the floor.  The floor was littered with dirty clothes that she had to pick her way around as she walked.  He smiled at her until she carefully positioned herself as far away from him as she could.

            “You can come closer, babe.  Com’ on.”

            Jany slid toward him just a little.  He reached out and rested a hand on her knee.  It felt nice, the warmth of life against her skin.  That was one of the things she craved.  She relaxed a little as he started talking about his daughter and his job and childhood, all safe subjects that didn’t threaten Jany at all.  As they talked, Jany slowly moved closer to Don until they were lying side by side on the mattress, each with arms wrapped lightly around the other.  And then Don’s phone rang again.  He sat up to answer it.

            “Hey, darlin’.  What up?  I see.  Yeah.  Well, of course.  When did ya wanna get together?  Oh, com’ on.  You know I wanna tap that sweet ass a yours.”

            He continued talking, but Jany decided she should find something else to pay attention to.  Here she was, in Don’s bed, touching him, and he was talking to another woman, already planning his next conquest.  Jany was so angry that the customary tears that were generally at the ready to emerge on such an occasion didn’t come.  She rolled over on to her stomach, picked up her cell phone, and started working on a sudoku puzzle.  Or trying to, anyway.  She wanted to leave, wanted to stop listening to all the things he was saying to the woman on the phone, things he should be saying to her, but she couldn’t.  She was riveted to his every word.  Every few minutes, she had to fight back the urge to take the phone from his hand in a surprise attack and scream into the receiver, “I just thought you should know that while he’s saying those things to you, he’s holding my hand!”  Because he was—as he spoke clearly into the receiver, making no attempt to muffle his words, he slowly reached out and laced his fingers through Jany’s, an act of imagined solidarity.  It was anger that kept her from leaving now.  If he had so little regard for her feelings, he must be having a terrible time with her, and Jany had no inkling to leave so he could have a better time with someone else.

            His conversation lasted forty-five minutes.  When he hung up, he turned back toward Jany and dropped his arm over her shoulders, gently tickling the side of her breast with his knuckles.

            “How’s it goin’ babe?”

            “Just peachy.”

            “Roll over this way, hey?  I wanna get closer to ya.”

            “I’m good where I am.”  Jany spoke in short abrupt sentences.  She had no desire to hide her disappointment, her anger.

            “Oh, God.  You’re pissed, aren’t you?”

            “I’m not exactly happy.”

            “Oh, whatever.  You live in the city.  I never get there and you never get here.  What does it hurt for me to be workin’ on someone a little more local.”

            “That’s cool.  Doesn’t hurt a thing.”  Jany shook his arm off her shoulders and stood up.

            “Where ya goin’?  Com’ on, baby.  Oh, hey!  Did you wanna do my hair now?”

            Jany could only stare silently as Don stood up and walked out to the kitchen.  She followed him, almost in a trance.  He disappeared into the bathroom and then emerged with a can of shaving cream, two razors, and a washcloth.  He said something Jany didn’t catch and then pointed at a metal bowl that was in the sink.

            “Grab that bowl and put some warm water in it, ‘kay?  Not too warm, but not cold.  And then can you go in the other room and grab the chair that’s behind those shelves?”  He pointed.  “Careful, ‘cause the seat comes off.”  He disappeared back into the bathroom.  Jany could hear exactly what he was doing, because he didn’t bother to close the door.  But when he came out, the chair and the bowl were both ready for him.  “Good girl,” he said, smiling. Then he sat down.

            Jany wasn’t sure exactly where to start.  She’d never, after all, shaven a head before.

            “Um—where do I start?” she finally asked.

            “Get part of my head wet.  Then rub some shaving cream on it and shave.  That easy.  Just don’t put the cream on my whole head at once.  It’ll dry.”  Those were the only instructions he gave her, and for lack of any better ideas, Jany followed his orders.  She fumed silently as she worked.  This was certainly not what one would expect from a date.  There was a little part of her that wondered if maybe she was just being overly picky, expecting too much.  After all, she wasn’t exactly a supermodel.  Maybe this was the kind of man she deserved.  When Don started snoring gently, she told that little part of herself to shut up.  No way did she deserve this.

            And once she settled into the job, she sort of enjoyed herself.  There was something satisfying about running a sharp blade over this man’s skin, especially because he was asleep and couldn’t criticize her work.  Or stop her if she gave in to a sudden urge to slit his throat.  Not that she’d do that, but the power was hers.  When she finished, she slapped his back lightly.

            “Hey, you gonna wake up?” she asked loudly.

            “Yeah, yeah.  Yo, I’m awake.  You done?”  He raised his hands and felt his now-bald head.  “Still feels a little rough over here, Girl.  Better finish it up.”  And within seconds, he was snoring again.  Jany did finish up, this time with a little less care not to nick his skin.  He awoke just as she was washing out the bowl she had used and wiping up the water and shaving cream that had gotten on the countertop. 

            “Hey, woman.  What you doin’?”

            “What am I doing?  I’m cleaning up your kitchen, just like you wanted me to.  There was shaving cream all over, so I’m wiping it up.”

            “But that counter is filthy!”

            “Uh, yeah.  I know.  That would most likely be why I’m cleaning it.”

            “Damn, girl.  Didn’t you hear me say that was my face-washin’ rag?”

            Jany sighed in exasperation and threw the rag into the sink.

            “It’s awright.  I’ll just use a clean one.”  Don spoke softly, as though he had just realized that maybe he was pushing things too far.  “Hey, whaddya wanna do now?  You wanna go somewhere, or just hang out here?”  He jerked his head toward the bedroom, as if to indicate that if they stayed, they’d be spending their time there.  Which was the exact thing Jany was trying to avoid.  He was physically one of the most attractive men who had ever spoken to her, which probably somewhat explained her reluctance to cut him loose, but his demeanor was ugly.  She did have a mild desire to test his bedroom skills, but it was a very mild desire, and she wasn’t so lacking in self respect that she was willing to let that happen.

            “Let’s go.  Why don’t we go to the casino?”

            “’Kay, then.  A gamblin’ girl, that’s what I like.  Lemme go change.”

            As he led Jany down the stairs, Don looked over his shoulder.

            “Hey, girl.  You wanna drive and we’ll take your car?  I don’t got much gas and I’m thinkin’ I might sleep on the way there anyway.”

            “I—I can.  If you tell me where to go.  I guess.”  They settled into Mala’s car.

            “This is a pretty sexy car,” Don said, running his hand over the dash.  Jany tried to remember if he had run his hands over her skin like that when she was next to him in his bed.  He hadn’t.  “I didn’t know you had this kinda money.  You wouldn’t wanna toss me a few at the casino, wouldja?”

            “Toss you a few—as in give you money?  I told you I was borrowing my boss’s car.  I don’t even own a car.  I have twenty bucks to spend and that’s it.”

            “Okay, okay.  Sorry.  Follow this road ‘til you get to the hospital sign, then turn right.  Turn left at the first light and you’ll find it eventually.” No sooner had Don finished speaking than he was asleep.  Jany cranked up the stereo and tried to enjoy herself.  With the volume turned up, she could pretend Don wasn’t even there.  She could pretend she was on a real date with a real man.

            The casino was a good forty miles away.  When they were finally walking through the doors, Don looked at Jany. 

            “I don’t wanna mess with your gambling mojo, ya know?”

            “I don’t have enough money to even have a gambling mojo, Don.  If I lose my twenty bucks, I’m done.”

            “Damn, I dunno know you can do that.  Once I’m on a roll, I can’t stop.  My gramma was a gambler, maybe it’s in my blood.  She kept a gun in her purse and if you fucked with her mojo, you were a goner.  So we should probably just go our separate ways.  Don’t want any bad blood between us.”  Don laughed at his joke before he continued.  Jany didn’t find it so funny.  “You got your phone, right, babe?  I’ll call you when I’m getting’ close to bein’ ready to go.”

            Jany looked at her watch.  Eleven p.m.  Well, he couldn’t be too terribly long—he had already said he had to get up at six for work.   He’d told her that when he was explaining how if she didn’t get the dishes done after dinner, she should feel free to do them after he left for work in the morning, before she went home.

            When her phone rang four hours later, Jany was slumped in front of a penny slot machine with glazed eyes, robotically pushing the “Repeat Bet” button over and over.  She was betting one line, one credit—a penny at a time.  She’d already brought her twenty bucks up to fifty and then back down to nothing, because there were no restaurants, no seating areas, nothing at all to do if she wasn’t gambling.  She’d reluctantly slipped another ten dollar bill into the machine, but she was determined to make it last the rest of the night.  She answered her phone.


            “Hey, girlie girl.  How’s it going?”

            “You seem to be in a good mood.  I’m okay.”

            “Just checkin’ in.  Where are you?”

            “I’m, uh—in front of coat check?  You know where that is?”

            “Yeah.  I’ll head over there in a few and play one or two more games and then we’ll get going.”

            Don was soon intent on a slot machine a row or two behind Jany.  His one or two more games took another hour and a half.  Finally, Jany couldn’t take it anymore.  Her burning eyes were craving sleep, her empty stomach was churning, and everything she could see or hear was irritating her.  She stood quietly behind Don for a moment to gather courage.

            “Hey, you ready to go?  I need to get outta here.  I’m beat.”

            “Jus’ a minute.”

            “Do I have to remind you that I’m driving?”

            “Is that a threat, woman?  You gonna leave me here?”

            “It’s not a threat.  I’m just saying that I am going to leave and if you want to leave too, you should come with me.”

            “Goddamn.  Awright, jus’ gimme a minute.”

            They stopped off at a Denny’s on the way home because Don was just as hungry as Jany.  The conversation they had while they ate was the best they’d had all night and Jany felt her indignant anger dissipating a little.  Don pointed Jany in the right direction and then slept all the way back to his apartment.  Luckily, she mostly remembered where she was going, but some of the anger seeped back into her system.

            The sensation of a stopping car was all it took to wake Don up.  Jany shut off the car and silently tried to decide what to do next.  He’d offered to let her stay the night, and he probably expected her to do so, but the sun was already coming up and Jany was afraid she’d wake up and find him talking on the phone with some other chick again.  She wasn’t sure she could handle it again.  And anyway, all she really wanted was to just go home to bed so she could get Mala’s car back to her at a decent hour.

            “I think—I think I’m just going home.  If I sleep for a few hours, I’ll just be more tired for the ride home.  ‘Kay?”

            “You can stay.”

            “I know I can.  I just—I need to go home.”  Now that Don was half asleep and being all sweet, it was hard to resist him. 

            “Awright.  Whatever you want.”  He shrugged and reached over to hug her briefly.  Jany watched him climb the stairs and go inside before she took off.  A minute later, her phone rang. 

            “Hey, honey.  Are you gone?”

            “Huh?  Of course I’m gone.  I didn’t sit in your driveway and pick my nose or something.  Hey, aren’t you supposed to be going to work anyway?”

            “I called in.  I thought you were staying.  You should.  I wanted to snuggle up with your fine body.  It’s the best thing in the world to be able to wake up and find someone in bed with you.”

            “I’m sure it is.  I wouldn’t know, never done it.”  He liked her body.  All night long, she hadn’t been sure.  This knew knowledge almost made her give in.  But if he liked her that much, he should have treated her like he did.  And he hadn’t.  She gathered up her strength.  “But I really need to get home.  Maybe some other time, ‘kay?”

            Don whispered his goodbye and hung up.  Jany sighed and turned up the radio.  Just outside of town, as she was driving into the sunrise on a highway flanked with thick woods, she saw a billboard.  On it, there was a picture of a fawn, light brown and gently spotted.  A hunter was taking aim at it, but there was a bright red circle/cross symbol over him, the universal symbol for “no.”  There were words printed across the top of the billboard: “Let ‘em go, let ‘em grow.”  Fitting.  Exactly what she had to do with Don.  Let him go, let him grow.


Thanks for reading

From the Plus Side with Emily Smiltneck


Emily's Cool Links

Good 4 U Food

Recipes for Good... Healthy Food

By: Xander - The Food Dude


Changing The Ways of the World

by Xander The Food Dude

For the last eight years I’ve worked in government in some capacity.  Recently, I have done consulting in the private industry.  Here are the brutal facts about what I’ve learned about the way things work in any area.

  1. Change to say something is changing is stupid.  In the classic words of someone, if it ain’t broke don’t break it, if it is broke don’t broke it more just fix it.
  1. Government has no desire to fix anything.
  1. Private industry fears that change that would make them truly great.  That is of course in review of most industry.
  1. Once industry gets a clue, leave it to government to forced private industry to break themselves or be broken through a series of policies and idiotic requirements.

How, then, does this apply to you ?  I think we are perceiving changes that we want to make in our lives.  Sometimes we select simply tasks that we see as having little or no effect on the overall quality of our lives.  Sometimes we select massive driving things that discourage us in the overall picture and we become so scared and incapacitated by that change that we give up before we really ever got started.

For example, I read an article on Yahoo News yesterday that indicated that by far and wide that Monday was the best day to start a new health and fitness regime.  At first this statement seemed to be bizarre.  As I had in the past read a variety of articles that indicated that Monday was the worst day to start this on as it was the first day of the week and those Monday blahs carried over into a variety of our areas in our lives including our goals.  But to be honest, their argument was compelling, direct and, frankly had merit.  They indicated that Monday while seemingly the worst day was actually the best.  For one, for the most part in their studies, Monday was perceived as a day of rebirth.  At first I scoffed at such idiocy.  But then I recalled my process over the years on Friday afternoon, that each Monday is a start to get back at it.  Secondly, they note, that we “gear ourselves up for the onslaught of Monday”.  To explain this, we prep ourselves for things to go wrong on Monday.  They indicate that things that go wrong are handled better on Monday as say opposed to Friday.  As on Friday we are in the frame of mind of “shutting it down” for the weekend ahead.  This concept also had merit.

I guess what the main thing I’m trying to indicate in this process is that for things we want to changes, I don’t want you to just sit aside and see the things you are dissatisfied with and make a knee-jerk reaction to change them now.  True change and appropriate change takes time.  Most psychologist indicate that if we can maintain a change in our behavior for 21 days in a row, that change has the best chances of being internalized and becoming a value.  Once a behavior becomes a value, it in turn effects our behavior.

In many ways, it’s a lot like doing articles for this mag.  While I highly enjoy sharing thoughts and food with you, there are times when my muse leaves me.  Be that due to a variety of external or internal strife’s that can occur to us all, be it personal or professional.  Sometimes, the writing of these articles, is like honey on my lips just waiting to spill forth onto the pages before you.  Other times it’s like having a cavity, knowing you have to go to the dentist, but avoiding it at all costs.

It’s a lot like life is.  We forgo the pain for pleasure.  The weird thing is that each time we put off the pain, it diminishes the pleasure and only increases the pain until finally we have to face it.  Is it worse than if we had confronted it earlier.  Most likely.

Lately, that’s what my working life has brought me… an abundance of pain.  With those around me seeing my pain and me seeing theirs it has brought me to the point realizing that I can no longer turn a blind eye to the amount of pain, personal and professional, that it takes out on me.  Like you I am confronted with the reality that I need my job, benefits, and pay to be able to maintain the payments to those people who expect to be paid.  I need my health benefits to maintain myself.  But strangely, I have to ask, would I have these health problems if it wasn’t for the pain of my work ?

It’s a point that I’m finding has a huge bearing in what I really need to change in my life.  I want you to make a list of all the pains in your life.  Start our with a quick list of five things.  Then I want you to write down, the source of those pains.  Then for each source I want you to determine what it is that you can do to stop those sources of pain (keep it legal, moral and ethical).  For example, have a problem at work with staying caught up, as I have that problem.  One solution is putting in more time.  For me it’s not great because it’s basically donated time to the government.  I get no compensation for it.  What are the other intrinsic advantages ?  If I get caught up then, perhaps, I can reduce the stress level, and thus increase my time with family.  For me the important thing in this scenario is that I set time limits on the extra time I donate.  It cannot be allowed to continue past a certain point, otherwise I merely increase my pain level.  Change is a tricky and slippery slope to face.

First determine those five things and then one at a time start seeing what possibilities exist for great and sustainable changes that can enhance your life.

If any of those five things give you pain to confront, then maybe were on the right track.  If you feel the need to put off any of those things, think about how much difficulty doing that will cause you as time passes.  Bad situations go to worse situations with the passage of time.  I know that I need to face up to some realities in my life.  There are no escaping the facts that items and situations are not how I want them to be for myself.  As much as it scares me to confront those things, its gotten to a point that not confronting them scares me even more.

To put it bluntly, I need some change.  Where are you at in your lives ?

Xander's Recipe of the Month


Foods of Change

I spent so much time talking about change this month, It thought I might also give you some options on changes in the types of food that might appeal to you.  Yes, these are entirely veggie based meals, but I have to say… They Rock.  Full of flavor and completely easy to complete, they might just change the way you see vegetables.


Black Bean Enchilada Bake

This is a one dish vegetarian casserole perfect for those busy nights - you can get this vegetarian enchilada bake in the oven in just a few minutes. A simple Mexican-inspired meal the whole family will enjoy


2 cups chopped onion, fresh or frozen

1 1/2 cups chopped red pepper, fresh or frozen

2 garlic cloves, minced

3/4 cup salsa

2 teaspoons ground cumin

2 15.8 ounce cans black beans, drained

12 6-inch corn tortillas

2 cups Monterey Jack and Cheddar blend cheese shredded

3 tomatoes chopped (optional)

1/2 cup sour cream (optional)

  1/2 cup sliced black olives (optional)


Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Combine onion pepper, garlic, salsa, cumin and black beans in large skillet and bring to simmer over medium heat. Cook, stirring it frequently for 3 minutes.

Arrange 6 tortillas in bottom of 9" x 13" baking dish overlapping them as necessary. Spread half of bean mixture over tortillas and sprinkle with half of cheese. Repeat layering process with remaining tortillas, bean mixture and cheese.

Cover dish with foil and bake 15 minutes. Carefully remove foil and serve warm.

Garnish with tomatoes, sour cream and olives.

  Tofu Peanut Butter Pie

Yeah, I know this one is messing with your head a little.  But hey, that’s the way I roll.  Give this a shot and all your doubts with fade like the twilight hours of the night.  Be strong, have courage and give it shot. This is one of those super-quick and easy vegan dessert recipes that you think will taste funny, but are absolutely decadent. Peanut butter pie with tofu is a relatively healthy vegan dessert perfect for the kids (or the kids-at-heart!).  Hey what’s life without chance.  Besides if I can get you to open up to this who knows what is possible.  J


16 ounces soft (silken) tofu

1 cup creamy peanut butter

3/4 cup sugar

2 tbsp soy milk

2 tsp vanilla

1 pre-made pie crust



Combine the tofu, peanut butter, sugar, soy milk and vanilla in a food processor or blender and blend until smooth.

Spoon into the pie shell. Refrigerate at least 2 hours and serve.


  Vegetarian Lentil Soup Recipe  

Lentil soup is one of those recipes that should be in every cook's repertoire. Lentils are available in most grocery stores and are high in protein, healthy and very cheap. This vegetarian lentil soup recipe uses plenty of spices to perk up the soup. Enjoy this traditional and warming dish! You may also want to try this crock pot lentil soup recipe.


1 tsp vegetable oil

1 onion, diced

1 carrot sliced

4 cups vegetable broth

1 cup dry lentils

1/4 tsp pepper

1/4 tsp dried thyme

2 bay leaves

dash salt

1 tbsp lemon juice


In a large pot, sauté the onions and carrot in the vegetable oil for 3-5 minutes until onions turn clear.

Add the vegetable broth, lentils, pepper, thyme, bay leaves and salt.

Reduce heat to a simmer. Cover and cook until lentils are soft, about 45 minutes. Remove bay leaves before serving.



Thank you for Reading Good Food 4U

By Xander the Food Dude

Please send thoughts and comments to

Big Girls on the Red Carpet


Cher Rue is an actress, writer and producer. Starting out with writing "Dear Cher" she knew she loved helping other people. Being plus size all her life this was where she knew her calling was.

Cher was seen on "Dr.Phil, "Good Morning America", "Entertainment Tonight", "Russian, British, Japanese, and Viet Vietnamese Television". Also a documentary filmed at the Las Vegas Bash on the Travel channel, and Current TV, a online station, with numerous radio interviews talking about size acceptance.
You can also see a recurring show "Secret Lives of Women" seen on the We channel "Women's entertainment".

Cher was recently in a new movie "Forever Plaid" coming out soon.

Cher is now involved with mainstream "Hollywood" and charity events showing that beauty comes in all sizes
it is what is inside that counts.

Cher has always loved seeing others happy and helping others to find their inner self and beauty.
Ten years ago, she found the plus size community and she knew this is where she would focus on helping others who were like her and had some of her experiences and pain that she went through.


SPCA LA Red Carpet Event

Article by: Cher Rue 

I was so happy that the promoter Jovy Janolo asked me to suggest a plus size designer to add to his
event "Fabowlous" at the Lucky Strike Bowling lanes in Hollywood Ca at the Kodak center.
This Red Carpet event was to raise money for all the cats and dogs for the SPCA LA. A photo contest
was held and all the contestants flashed their photos on the screens above the alleys.
Of course I entered my Ruby, but we didn't win, she is a winner with to me.

The event was held at a bowling alley which in the past has held many celebrity parties.
Celebrities who attended the event were Judy Tenuta (comedian) Carlos Mencia (comedian)
Heather Chadwell (Rock of Love) Greg Fellows (Vh1 the Pick up artist) Daniel DiCriscio (Messia
of make over/actor) Amanda Rushing (singer/actress) Dave Shelton (writer) Johnny V(Scott Baio is 45 and
pregnant) Cher Rue (actress) Calpernia Adams (actress) Aman (actor) Lisa Lee (psychic to the stars)
DeeDee Bigelow (actress) Jamie Carson (actress) Alana Curry (actress) and Danielle Petty (actress)
and singer Pepper Mayshay.

I love the clothes from Jennifer Davis of "Astarte' Women so I asked her to show her clothes and be a
part of history. There were two other designers showing off their clothing lines with some fabulous
pieces, but the crowd went wild when the plus size ladies strutted their stuff down the bowling alleys,
Yes it was exciting to see all the lights flashing and the music blasting as the girls showed off their
sexy outfits. Along with some very hot men models including the sexy "Daniel DiCriscio" (actor) and
Greg Fellows (actor) and Quentin (model) really added to the stroll down the runway.

With all the paparazzi flashing and taking photos and the crowds trying to get a closer look at the show.
It was amazing and I am so happy that I could be a part of this great event. After the show, everyone
grabbed their bowling shoes and started to bowl, drink, and had some fabulous appetizers coconut shrimp.
DJ Tessa spun some great tunes the whole night.

The event was a huge success and I had a blast!
From the Red Carpet until next time.



Thanks for reading Big Girls on the Red Carpet

Hot & Heavy Entertainment


     Stephanie Baham is a native of Los Angeles, CA and now resides in the San Francisco area. She's a 38 year old professional who has long enjoyed the craft of writing. Her other interests include film, theatre, yoga, dancing, literature and politics. Stephanie holds a Bachelor's degree from Cal State University, Long Beach in Theatre Arts. She is currently working towards her degree in Psychology.


Fox TV's More To Love - An Episode Premiere Review

with Stephanie Baham


As I write this article (during commercials) I'm watching FOX's new reality show...More To Love.  One BHM (Big Handsome Man) is going to choose one lady out of 20 to be the love of his life. 

Luke is our hopeful bachelor...looking for that curvy girl of his dreams.  Luke is a successful professional in CA and he is a handsome, charming guy.  Like most people...he's looking for true love.  He's already stated that he's looking for the future Mrs. Connely. High stakes here folks!

The show starts with a bit of background on Luke...then the introductions begin.  Luke waits for the ladies at the entrance to the house.  One by one they step out of the limo, walk up to Luke & introduce themselves.  Each lady was absolutely gorgeous & sweet.  After they introduce themselves to Luke, they go into the mansion. Then the show cuts to footage of each lady speaking about her experience as a plus size women. Some women are confident, some have body issues and some cry. During each woman's spot....her name, age and location were put on the screen. As was her height & weight.  Was showing her height & weight necessary? Is that so the audience can say "wow she's huge!"  Or is it so the audience can relate?  Maybe there are some women out there with the same body types as these contestants who can say "hey I'm her size & she's gorgeous....I can feel gorgeous too!" 

Many think this is a great move forward for the plus size community. And in many ways it is....however I do want to be sure that it is not lacking quality & dignity. Reality shows usually do.  I think it could be traumatic to have your vulnerabilities displayed on TV. (There was a lot of crying on this show....about 10 different ladies).  But, perhaps others out there can relate.  Maybe seeing these ladies open their heart up like this will give some viewers strength & hope.  And I hope that the very confident contestants can inspire some viewers to look at & appreciate their own beauty.


What I wasn't pleased with however, were the previews of shows to come. There was cat-fighting & drama....but I suppose you can't have a TV show without that. It comes with the reliaty show territory.  Will the drama be a true display of how "real" things can get when emotions are at stake? Or is it exploitation for ratings?  We can only wait & see.

After all the introductions, Luke makes the rounds at a cocktail party of sorts to get to know each woman.  It's a daunting task...because he has to eliminate five ladies.  But I'm pleased to report that he's very anxious to get to know these ladies...and can relate to how hard it is to find love. He seems genuinely attracted to these women and I believe he can appreciate them for who they are.

As the cocktail party goes into full swing, the drinks are flowing and I'm feeling the love. And the ladies are really feeling the love for Luke. A few are ready to settle down & be his one and only.

Emme, a professional plus size model, is the host. She's not really doing much, except explaining the rules. And for the elimination the rules are....Luke will give each girl a ring. If a lady does not get a ring....we say good-bye to a sweet & gorgeous gal.

It was hard to watch some of the ladies go home.  These women came onto the show so they would not be rejected because of their weight.  And now they have to go home rejected because of what? Well, that's the risk one takes when joining a reality show.  I hope all these wonderful ladies find what they are looking well as Luke.  As far as FOX is concerned....I'll be watching! And I don't mean watching as in I'm so cheerful I'm going to watch this show and be all smiles....I mean watching as in I will be watching carefully to see how far you will push the drama on this show about love. More to love. I want to see our plus size divas treated right.

The show airs Tuesday nights on the FOX TV network.  You can learn more about the show by visiting the official website at

Stephanie Baham


Thanks for reading Hot & Heavy Entertainment

Stephaine's Links:


National and International Plus Size News


     I am a former plus-size model and stage performer. I have written articles that have appeared in local newspapers, college magazines and I was a sports editor for my school newspaper. Currently I have a book coming out in May 08, How to Make a Living Without a Job: the Guide to Professional Temping. It will be available online through Amazon and can be ordered through Barnes & Noble or Borders. I split my time between the Bay Area, CA and Houston, TX.


Fashion Industry Snubs Plus Sized Singer
with Iolande Vitt Argent

The fashion industry has again snubbed the plus-size community as UK chain Topshop chose waif-like supermodel Kate Moss over plus-size singer Beth Ditto to market their clothes.

15 stone Ditto's band The Gossip was asked to play a gig at one of Topshop's flagship stores earlier this year, but refused, saying it would be hypocritical as Topshop's clothes did not go up to her size.

Instead Ditto offered to produce her own range of clothes, "Give me the job. I want to design. I want you to make clothes for big girls - big boys. I want you to make big sizes," she said. Topshop has not responded to her offer. However, it is set to release a range of clothes designed by Moss on May 1st.

This is the second such incident this year as music magazine NME nominated both Moss and Ditto for its sexiest female award. Unsurprisingly, the UK size 8 model won out over the controversial size 20 lesbian punk vocalist.

The average size for a woman in the UK is said to be in excess of size 16. Yet, many stores do not go above a size 14. The fashion industry remains divided between those who want to remedy the situation and those who insist on using US size zero models. Regardless of the outcome, the situation must be resolved soon.

The war rages on…


Thanks for reading Did You Know

The Big GB

My Gastric Bypass Memoirs

Sonya L. Bennett, (also known as “Truthfulblkwoman”) is a 38 year old, black female, single with no children living in Detroit, Michigan.  She is the youngest of a set of fraternal female twins, with a older sister.  Sonya lives with being the larger twin, and discovered people always presumed that they would look alike in SOME way... Even though fraternal twins don't necessarily look alike.  Always being the heavier of the two, people (family, associates, friends) were quick to point it out. She grew to realize an outer appearance is what people judge you on initially.  As a college-educated freelance court stenographer, it never occurred to her that size would prohibit her from receiving work.  In the legal world, the “eye candy” usually didn’t fill UP the corner.

In 2007, Sonya was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes; a generational curse that she had prayed to avoid, but didn’t worry about while she piled butter pecan ice cream on her German Chocolate Cake.    Only a few months into this diagnosis, she woke up one morning unable to walk and in excruciating pain in her left foot.  Doctors finally diagnosed an acute tendonitis, exacerbated by uncontrolled diabetes.  That was the wake-up call, She had suffered for years with high cholesterol and sleep apnea; all associated with her weight,  it wasn’t until this happened (wheelchair bound for a month and on crutches following that) did she tell herself "I have to do something about my weight."  On April 17, 2008, Sonya had the gastric bypass medical weight loss procedure and it was the best decision that she made for herself.  In these upcoming writings, Sonya invites you to learn the ups and downs of gastric bypass: through the eyes of one who lives it every day.


Surgery Day - April 17th, 2008

with Sonya Bennett

7:00 a.m. – Having to report to Barix Clinic in Ypsilanti, MI at 5:00 a.m. is not an easy task when you’re accompanied by your sister, your grandmothers, father, stepmother and aunt.   I was nervous all night and didn’t follow my pre-surgery instructions carefully.  The directions stated that there should be nothing BUT clear liquids for 24 hours before the surgery.  For some reason, I read the “clear liquids” part but not the “nothing BUT”.  Alright, I seemed to be jeopardizing one of the most important days of my life.

My maternal grandmother, twin sister and I stayed the night before in a hotel since the clinic is more than 30 minutes away.  After we checked in, we decided to go to dinner – my last meal in my mind: steak, potato, salad, and a big-whopping dessert!  All washed down with a pink lemonade and I even had a decaf coffee J   Remembering that the instructions said to take a suppository to clean out my system (they suggested Dulcolax) and nothing by mouth – even liquids – after 11:00 p.m., we stopped at a drug store and got the necessary items.  I was so nervous, the Dulcolax wasn’t working; one would think it would after all of that rich food!  I didn’t fall asleep quickly and before I knew it, the alarm that was set at 3:30 a.m. was ringing.  There was a special sponge that I had to use as I washed up in preparation for the surgery.

I arrived at Barix to a dark clinic and wondered if this was some cruel joke and that, perhaps, I had written the time incorrectly: perhaps it was 7:00 p.m.  We rang the “after-hours” bell, a voice over the speaker asked my name and I was buzzed in for pre-op entrance.  The nurse instructed me to change clothes into the hospital gown that would be my attire for the next three days.  I placed my clothes in the bag provided and went about answering his questions.  Among the first: “When was the last time you digested any food”, to which I responded, “9:00 last night.”  He tried to correct me, “You mean 9:00 two nights ago?” and I stated, “No, last night.”  He immediately pulled out the pre-surgery instructions that stated “Nothing but clear liquids for the 24 hours before surgery.”  He sternly told me that he would have to call the surgeon to see if we should postpone.  I was devastated, thinking, “My entire family is sitting in the lobby at the crack of dawn and they’ll have to hear that the surgery is postponed because I can’t follow instructions?!”  It was definitely my destiny to have this surgery, however, because even though I hadn’t cleaned out my system (the Dulcolax never worked) and I was still full of rich foods, my surgeon decided that he would still perform the procedure. 

The nurse began the process of asking about allergies, directing me about the post-op pain and told me that shortly after surgery, I would have to get up to walk. The surgery would take approximately two to three hours. He also told me that I would have a lot of gas from the anesthesia and that I should release it in any way it comes out: belching or flatulence and that it would help me feel better.  The stream of family came in one at a time to pray with me, hug me and give their well-wishes.  The last thing I remember was hugging my sister and telling her I’d see her soon as we nervously cried together.

Join me next month as I share the pains and struggles of my first ‘walk’ on my new birth day.  The following is a short clip pre-op.


Thanks for reading

The Big GB - My Gastric Bypass Memoirs

Sonya's Links:

Sonya Bennett on Facebook


Time to tell it like it is!


     This is an experiment in Confession, you can anonymously confess, or let everyone know something that you feel.  Every Month we will post all the confessions and you can come and view them and be inspired to make your own.


     You can send in a picture,  You can make a graphic,  You can just send in your written words.  You can do it anonymously and get something off your chest.  You can let everyone know who you are and liberate yourself.


     Hope you enjoy Confession!  Send in your own check the bottom of this page!





I realized that I don't need my parents approval to have a good life. 

They judge me by my weight and I am going to judge me by my works.






I will not allow anyone to treat me like a revolving door.  Fat Girls are not desperate.





I love her but I don't know if it is real anymore.  I used to love her with a passion.

Now my passion is to get away.




Send in your own Confession,  Use the email to the Right and send in a your confession, weather it is a graphic you made (NO BIGGER THAN 5x7 92 DPI) or a picture you saw.  You can also just send in text words.  Your Confession can be Anonymous or you can tell everyone who you are.

Send in your Confession NOW!

Thanks for reading Confession

Send in your Confession to


Large In Charge Guest Spot

We want to hear and see your talents!


One of our favorite parts of the Magazine.  The Guest Spot is for our readers to submit there talents to be viewed.  We want to see all you wonderful supporters making moves of your own.  If you write poetry, short stories, commentaries, or just thoughts in general, please submit them to us.  If your a designer we want to see pictures of your clothing.   We would love to include your talents in our newsletter.  We hope you take an active part in the L.I.C. newsletter. Send in your article, poetry, comments to -

NOTE: The Opinion of the writer is not always the opinion of The Large in Charge Staff.  We support the Right to all views.  We do not Condemn or Approve writing based on our personal thoughts.  We approve writing based on if the subject is a concern for the BBW / SSBBW / BHM Community.  Thank you for your writing and please send in those articles!  - The Large in Charge Staff

Writers Search


Looking for new Writers for 2009



About Our Writers Search:

     LargeInCharge is looking for Volunteer Writers for our Online Magazine.  We are looking for Males and Females who wants to write about issues that concern large people.  We need people who will be dedicated to writing columns or doing an interview once a month in a timely manner.  You do not need to be a professional writer,  Good writing, and typing skills, the ability to spell check, understand grammar and have your article sent in on time is what we are looking for.


     We want to bring the voice of the people to the people.  Give them something they can related to and enjoy on a monthly basis.


    LargeInCharge is a non-profit Online magazine which is why we are asking for Volunteer's.  This is a great opportunity to brush up on your writing skills and learn different writing styles.


NOTICE:  This is not a responsibility to be taken lightly.  You must be able to hand in one article on time monthly for a period of at least 12 months.  If you wish to continue after 12 months then you may stay if your track record is good.


We are looking for writers for the following Positions.

  • A Big Man's World - a writer who will write about living life as a Big Man in this Society.

  • Product Review - A writer to search for and find products that are beneficial for plus sized people.

  • Make- up, Medicine and Body - External to internal make your body feel and look great!

  • Inspiration - Inspirational stories, interviews and articles on loving yourself as is.

  • The Erotic Phatty - Erotic stories and poetry for the Full Figured form.


Would you like to be a writer?  If you have an idea for a column let me know.





Interested in applying for a writers position?


     Send in the information below along with a clear photograph of yourself and one complete article at least 300 words.  Please make sure your article is matching the position your applying for.  If you are a versatile writer and applying for more than one position send in one article for each position.


     Any submissions maybe be used in the magazine as a guest article or other wise if you do not receive a position.  If you are picked for a position it will be used as a back up for your column in case of emergency.


I want to Apply for a Writers Position:


My Name is:

My email address is:

My Phone Number is:

My location/address is:

The position I am applying for is:


Here is my article:


I am allowing LargeInCharge to use my image and article as they see fit.  By typing my name and date I understand that I agree to the above.   NAME/DATE


Send to:


Thank you

Send in your Work to Appear in LargeInCharge

We love our guest writers, they help us to make LargeInCharge more personal and reader friendly place.  We bring the people words from there own peers.  If you always wanted to write but never knew what to do with your thoughts and opinions.  Send them in to us we love to feature you in our guest spot.


What type of entries do we accept?

  • Original Articles that have not been placed in publication.

  • Size Empowerment Stories

  • Discovery of Size Acceptance

  • Romance of Large Size

  • Poetry - at least 25 lines in length

  • Complaints about Society

  • Complaints about what is provided for Big People

  • Complaints about Health Care

  • Weight Loss Surgery Experiences

  • Dealing with Doctors

  • The Joy of being Big

  • Learning to Love yourself

  • etc.

How to Submit my Article for review?

  • Check your article for spelling and correct format, We do not edit articles.
  • Attach your article either in Word, Text Format, or in the Body of your email.
  • In your email send your Real Name, E-mail and Address (state, location).
  • Under your Name and Address include date, and the line. "I give and there owners, permission to use my written article. I am submitting it for there use at their discretion."
  • Include a picture if you so wish in .jpg or .gif format and a brief description of yourself.

Send in your stories, poems, etc. to


Large In Charge

Fashion Furious

BBW/BHM Fashion of the Month

     We all hate how the Fashion Industry is just scratching the surface when it comes to Large Sized Fashion.  But I have found out that many clothing stores and online companies are beginning to take up the slack.  Creative BBW, SSBBW and BHM's are making there own clothing or mix matching and finding basic everyday wear and night club wear. 

     Making it affordable is what can be hard so showcase your wonderful finds here.  If your a regular shopper, sew your own clothing or a designer showcase your clothing here by submitting a picture for Fashion Furious of the month.


Fashion Furious of the Month

How to send in your Fashion Find. Send a Clear Picture as an attachment

and use the Format Below to describe your Fashion Furious picture.

Email to Raqui:


Fashion Find by: Raqui

Fashion Type:  BRA SALE

Why I Like this Item: 70% off all bras what more do I need to say YEAH YEAH!!!


Woman Within -




Send in your Fashion Furious Picture and Details to

Large In Charge

Product of the Month!

What is good for Big Sized Bodies


    A very important and necessary part of LargeInCharge.  Find out what is helpful for big bodies.  Keep your self straight with some of our tips and tricks. Find out what other Big Sized people use to keep themselves smelling, feeling, looking, and living a proper life.  What kind of products are allowed. Anything that deal with the body. From cleaning aids to soap, lotions, powder, healing aids etc.  anything that can help a big body!

NOTE: The Opinion of those who submit items are not professional.  They are everyday people who found something that worked for them.  We are not held responsible for there opinion - The Large in Charge Staff

Send your favorite Item to be Product of the Month - Follow format below, include a picture of product (most can be found online) and Send to

Product of the Month

About the Product

Recommender: Raqui

Name of Product: Transfer Bench Padded

Type of Product: Bench Support

Cost of Product: $139.99

Where Product can be found: 


Tear resistant vinyl padding for comfort! Seat back can be placed on left or right and includes rubber suction cup feet for safety. Height adjusts 16"-22". Capacity 250 lbs. 27"x16" seat surface. Weight 14 lbs.

Why I like this Product:
For those who need help when it comes to moving from one place to another.  This model is only for those up to 250 lbs.  But I have seen the same models being use for people up to 350 for just sitting not transfer method.  It has suction cups at the bottom for steady seat.



Send in your Product recommendation to

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