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Large In Charge Magazine - Five Years on the Net!

 Issue #66 - September 2009

Welcome to LargeInCharge Magazine

In this Issue of L.I.C.



Raqui's Spot -  with our Founder Raqui


Big Girls on the Red Carpet  ~ Cher Rue


From the Plus Side ~ Emily Smiltneck

Good 4 U Food  ~ Xander


DID YOU KNOW?  ~ Iolande Argent

National & International Plus Sized News


Hot & Heavy Entertainment ~ Stephanie Baham


The Big GB My Gastric Bypass Memoirs - Soyna Bennett


CONFESSIONS - Let It Go and Confess!

Fashion Furious - Fashion Finds with Plus Size style.

Product of the Month - Products for People of Size


LargeInChargeDating - Dating for the Large People who are going to be in Charge of their Love Lives!


LargeInCharge Friends - The Place for Big People to make Friends and maybe MUCH MORE!

Feature of the Month

Donna Furry


Broomsticks & Magickal Cauldrons



                                         Donna @ Vegas Bash 2009                                                     Raqui's Piece made by Donna


Donna Furry

Written by: Raqui


     I met Donna Furry at the Vendors Fair when I attend Vegas Bash in 2008.  What I loved the most about Donna was her warm friendly nature, and that passed right on into her work.  Donna's  jewelry impressed me, these are not items you will see mass produced, each piece is an original, and was crafted with care and made in a way that will last.  I found myself enjoying looking from one item to another, these pieces much like the lady who creates them are beautiful and unique items that cannot be replaced.


     What really hooked me to Donna's work was that she actually prefers for each piece to be one of kind.  She is more than willing to work with a client to make jewelry to match any outfit and occasion.   I love the thought of having my own personal jewelry consultant.   I do not have to search store after store hoping to find a match for my outfits.  I can just speak to one person about the style I want and have her search for the perfect fit for me... made just for me.   It is almost spiritual the way she handles & creates.  The quality is remarkable and I will definitely be going to Donna for my jewelry needs.  Not only am I going to get an item made just for me but at an affordable price :)

Raqui Interviews Donna Furry @ Vegas Bash 2008

Interview with Donna Furry

Donna and Raqui Vegas Bash 2008                                               Anklet             What is your name?

Donna Furry Where are you from and what is your current Location?

I am was born in Germany & I now live in Puyallup, Washington Do you consider yourself a Person of Size?

Yes, I am undertall & fluffy Who is the owner of your company, do you have any employees?

I am the sole owner of my company, and I have no one working for me. Tell us about the type of products you make?

 I am small and work at home ,I make earrings, necklaces, bracelets, and anklets. How did your company begin?

I started out back in 1990 something making jewelry for myself as a hobbie for myself. Then my friends and coworkers ask me to make things for them. Now in 2009 I am a business. What is the name of your company and how did you choose it?

The name of my company is (Broomsticks & Magickal Cauldrons). Since I'm a Pagan I wanted to keep with my beliefs. Broomsticks to sweep out all the old and make with the new, Magickal because I believe each piece is blessed by magic, Cauldrons cause I like cooking up new ideas and the cat on my logo is for my 20 yr old cat who passed away. Does your company have a motto or slogan; and what does it mean?


The company only has one motto (Harm none and no harm shall come to thee). Which means do unto others as you would have them do you. How long have you been in business?


I am in business full time now for almost 9yrs. Tell us about your products for people of size, do you make items only for people of size?

One thing I hated when people told me that had nothing to fit me. I noticed when you go to buy a necklace it was only in a size up to 18" or a bracelet only going up to a size 7"or better yet you see this anklet you want but you can't get it in a size 13"plus.This is what I mean by I cater it to fit you. Yes I do have some ladies who are not of size. What made you decide to make this/these products?

Being a person of size myself and not being able to find jewelry to fit me. Who designed the item/items?

I design most of jewelry from pieces I find all around. Some of my ideas I have seen on tv or in magazines I just redo them my way. Are you currently looking for other products for people of size to add to your company?

Yes I would like to put some clothing items, etc to my company. I am open to suggestions. When creating your items what are the considerations you make to cater to plus sized people?

When designing I piece for a person of size. I want to know what size their neck, wrists, and anklets are so that the jewelry fits them just right so their is no disappointments to them. I look to see if the items match their body type and their personality. Does you company affiliate with any distribution companies?

Not at this time but I have a few things in the works. Do you have a website and a hardcopy catalog?

Yes I do have a web site  Since most of my pieces are one of a kind I don't have a catalog. Tell us about any up & coming items your creating?

I will being adding the Venues Willendorf Goddess (the mother earth Goddess) on chains, ribbons (different colors), and black cords. Overall, What are your best sellers?

My Goddess jewelry, anklets and The BBW Bash Anklets are some of my best sellers. Are your items affordable?

I believe my jewelry is affordable. Has your item/items ever been showcased on Television, Print, Showcases?

My company name and I were used in print. I was also interviewed for a video at the BBW Vegas Bash in 2008. I have only traveled to Vegas with my jewelry for the Bash. I would like to do other Bashes as well. Where have you traveled and showcased your items?

I have only traveled to Vegas with my jewelry for the Bash. I would like to do other Bashes as well. Were your items well received by the general public?

Yes people loved my jewelry and have ask for me back for the next year. What are the ordering options that customers have?

People can order their items online with paypal, using  or they can email me with what they want at that same address or I will send you the number to call me so we can talk. How long does it take for a purchase to be received?

I can take by ground mail at least 5 to 7 days depending on where you live.I can ship over night but it will cost more. What are your refund options if an item is not satisfactory for a person of size?

If you are not happy for any reason just ship it back and I will send you your money back if I can't help you. What is the warrantee on your product?

It is good for 90 days so if for any reason you need to have it fixed I will do it free of charge. Name some companies you admire?

I admire... Love your peaches, BBW Boutique, Curvy Chic Boutique, Big Girl Gear, Large in Charge Magazine, Bodacious Magazine, because they are all for people of size. What are the most important elements to creating a product for people of size?

Know what your sizes are for a good fit and talk with me about what it is you want. Do you feel more companies have started catering to people of size?

I believe some are coming around but they still have along way to go. Would you say the reaction from the Plus Sized community has been positive?

I think the plus size people are positive on what they want. How has the internet helped your business?

I have a lot of response from the internet web page. What is one of your personal favorite items?

I love doing the Goddess Jewelry. Give us one word that you can say best represents your work

One word hmmm Beautiful... How can the readers at help support you?

You can help support me by making a purchase and telling your friends about me and my company.


Thank you for Reading The LargeInCharge Feature

Please send thoughts and comments to


Cover Model of the Month


Jennifer Barreto - Leyva


Interview with our Cover Model of the Month What is your name?

Jennifer Barreto-Leyva Where are you from and what is your current Location?

I'm from Caracas, Venezuela. Currently living here. Can you give us some information about yourself (Age, Height, Size, Nationality, Marital Status, Children, etc.)?

I'm 30 years old, 5´11 tall, size 24, Venezuelan, single, no kids. No pets and loving my live. Were you a big child, or did you gain weight later in life?

I've been always big. My weight has been up and down during my entire life, but always the numbers were high in the scale. (If you gained weight later in life) what caused you to gain weight and how did you feel about it?

I think the most significant amount of weight I've gained were during I move to this city (Caracas). I live 18 years in a small town and it was hard for me start all over again. Maybe the food was my way to escape from all the pressure. Please tell us about the title you now hold?

I've won the Miss Plump Venezuela on 2007 and also the popular vote at the Miss Plump Universe. I've made that contest popular worldwide so for me that's a crown itself and the biggest prize and reward. I consider myself the real winner because I got all the attention from the media (and still after two years) Were you nervous about entering a Pageant?

Not at all. I feel kind of corny because I don't believe on beauty pageants. I'm my own judge and only I can decide if I'm beautiful or if I'm a good girl. No one else have that right or power over me. What made you decide to enter?

To be honest I just wanted to shock the media and make fun of all the beauty pageants around the world. And I made it baby! Tell us how did you feel during the Pageant?

I feel corny and sometimes ridiculous when I had to hold a band over my chest and wave to the audience. But even back then I had fun. What was it like to go out on that stage?

I'm used to that. I take it easy every time I have to speak in public or be on T V. I'm glad now I was prepared by my teachers and professors back on school to handle this kind of situations. What is your Platform and Talent?

I didn't do anything in particular since was an online contest. While many of the candidates shown trashy pictures, I were always classy and elegant. That's my style and I won't change it.

I think both (platform and talent) were shown every time I had to advocate on behalf of the pageant and its owner. What have you done since winning your Title?

A lot of things. Motivational speaks all over Latin America, started my career as the first Venezuelan plus size model and help thousands of women with self esteem issues every day. Have you had an media exposure?

A LOT and I love it!! I do my best to portrait plus size women in a positive way. Do you plan to enter anymore Pageants, if so which ones?

I don't think so. I don't like beauty pageants. Besides I had enough of critiques, offenses to me, my family and friends. They don't deserve it, neither do I. I took it to the next level and will go after different things to improve myself and my career as a public person. Did you find it a hard journey to be accepted for your size?

Well the hard work is for all those who don't accept me. If I'm not accepted I close the door and knock a different one. My motto is: if you don't like me because of my weight, step out of my way and move on because I'm going thru the door anyway. Do you find acceptance among your family and friends?

Yes, but it took me lots of patients, love, understanding and time. They say they are worried because of my health, but some of them just don't like a plus size person and don't know how to handle it. What would you say inspires you most in life?

I'm a stubborn doll. Probably the challenges and obstacles inspired me to be the successful person I am now. It inspires me to break boundaries in positive ways, being a pioneer and rock the World is a must for me. What is your primary job?

Lawyer and writer. Do you find acceptance in the work force?

I'm glad I'm a freelance lawyer. I've worked once with a big team of people and they totally respect me. Accepted me? I don't know. What changes do you believe should take place for Large People in the work force?

Definitely less stereotypes and prejudices against us. People should give us the chance to prove our talent and capacity without being so hard on ourselves. Work force is not a beauty pageant, therefore all those absurd rules about appearance shouldn't count. Do you have any experience in the Modeling Industry?

Yes, and It's been amazing! Because of the hypocrisy on plus size modeling world is not that easy for me to find opportunities to model, but as I've said before breaking boundaries is my thing. Little by little I'll keep conquering mountains. What do you think about the fashion industry for big sized clothing?

A big hypocrisy and I hope it changes soon. If is about plus size modeling, REAL plus size girls should be taken for campaigns, editorials etc. The real facts are that any average girl (too fat to mainstream fashion) is considered plus size model and that's ridiculous. What did you wear during the Pageant?

My goodness, I've done some serious magic work with my wardrobe! At the time I didn't count with any sponsoring. Little by little I've learn how should be dressed for TV with time and what's best on Camera. I remember using a tacky animal print dress for my first time on TV as a Beauty Queen (I've been before on TV due to my activist work). What do you wish to see change with the fashion industry?

The way models are picked and used. We should aspire to something bigger, we deserve it and we didn't get it yet. I want to see a fashion week entirely dedicated to us, I want to see girls like me walking a runway and being fabulous, having the respect that we deserve from the Industry. Tell us some of the places you buy your clothing from.

My favorite stores are: Igigi, Missphit and Fashion Overdose. Tell us one of your secret beauty tips.

I'm going to give you three of my beauty tips: drink a lot of water, moisturize my skin every single day and never sleep with make up on. Tell us about your goals as far as modeling and Pageant.

Some of my goals are having the respect and treatment I deserve from Venezuelan media. Make people understand in my country that plus size modeling is a reality and you're not less model for being plus size. I want women all over the World understand that no one have the power over them to make them feel beautiful, only they have that power. Can you tell us about an inspirational moment in you life that made you feel good about your size.

I was once on a TV show, I had a girl next to me who literally hated plus size people. She didn't hesitate on telling it to me every five minutes looking into my eyes and laughing with some sarcasm as a plus.
The host was so in shock by her statements that couldn't take charge of the show. So I did with a lot of class.

I stood up, tell her how little and insignificant she was for thinking like that and how small she looked into my eyes. That was almost two years ago and there's still people talking about it and congratulating me. That good was, that good I felt! Is there a person in your life that makes you keep going?

My family. They are everything to me, my support, my love, my consciousness, my fans and more. But there's someone that makes me keep going and never give up. Is my grandma Isabel. She is not alive but I have her on every moment of my life, in my heart. I know for sure if she were alive she were really proud of me, cheering me up and encouraging me to be the best and never give up. I dedicate to her all my success. What advice would you give to other people of size who want to enter Pageants?

Well…with all honesty I don't recommend pageants, but I respect them.
If someone wants to be part of a pageant all I can recommend is: be unique, don't imitate anyone, do your thing and don't be so focus on your competitors. Feel beautiful all the time and don't hear anything but your heart. What plus size figure do you admire?

This is going to sound crazy, but I admire with all my heart to Miss Piggy. She was a very determinant and strong factor during my childhood. She made me feel that it was OK being different, being big. She makes me understand that you can be big and beautiful at the same time and a little bit diva, why not? While I was bombarded on TV with the Barbie dolls and all the unrealistic dolls and toys, Miss Piggy made the difference and touches my heart for good and forever. Describe yourself with one word.




Thanks for reading about our

Cover Model of the Month

Raqui's Spot

     Raqui the Owner and Founder of LargeInCharge Magazine.  This spot is dedicated to her thoughts, vents, and observations of Plus Sized Life.  Raqui's  "Tell it like it is" style of writing has brought thousands to her blogs and millions to  There is so much behind the woman who has brought this magazine into existence.  Being Internationally known as a wrestler/squasher lead the way to modeling for companies and being featured in magazines and documentaries from all over the world.  She has made a career out of her size and personality. Born, Raised and Residing in the Bronx NYC. This city girl is taking the world by storm.


     For the past 5 years Raqui officially moved into Size Acceptance and Empowerment.  With the creation of LargeInCharge she took what she said to individuals to a higher level and made it public to the internet world. She is a woman who doesn't let things get to her.  Knock her down for the moment but she will rise up stronger and better.  Being a speaker on behalf of many subjects and counseling Plus Sized people online her grace and style has made people love her.  Raqui continues to set an example of a powerful woman who will bend the world to fit her, her way.


     Raqui's appearances include, Uk Television, German TV, Japan, Europe, Sweden and the Spanish circuit.  Her many magazines appearances have been world wide.  She has hit American Television in 2006 with Good Morning American and since has appeared on The Cristina Show,  The Maury Show and The Tyra Banks Show.

To view her Online portfolio visit

Raqui feature on and Glamour Plus - go to Portfolio Section

Judging the Wilkes BBW Philly Pageant - August 23rd, 2009

Written By: Raqui 


    Raqui & Mr. Wilkes     -    Right to Left: Chiquita 2009 Queen - Winning Queen Robin 2010, Mr. Wilkes & Raqui



     It was about 4 years ago the first time I went to Philly to Judge Mr. Wilkes BBW Pageant.  Going again was a experience I wont forget.  I was very proud of the ladies who represented BBW Beauty this year.  But the Winner Robin really was someone who I was quite pleased with.  She was the smallest woman on stage but her presence was one to be admired.   Some women stood out on stage others faded into the background.  But Robin took command of the stage.  


     This Amazing women has over come many difficulties including a very obvious disabled walk.  But that didn't slow her down at all.  She strutted her stuff and not one look of pity was in anyone's eyes.  She showed that a plus woman in any condition can be a Queen.  Her clothing choices fit her smoothly, Her Lingerie showed off her HUGE CURVES.  She has booty for WEEKS not days.  Robins Talent was a spoken word performance complete with costume, smoke machine, music and props.  She brought the crowd to tears and was the only one to get standing applause.   Even though she went over time with her talent no one in the audience complained. Her answers during Q&A did not start out with UMMM... No lips smacking, teeth sucking or long pauses.  She was confident even during her nervous moments.


     What impressed me personally was her determination to represent not only BBW women, but disabled women, children and community.  I believe she is a woman who wants to make a difference for many people and she can set a good example.


     She is defiantly considered a BBW woman by societies standards.  Even though she maybe considered small in the plus sized community, I feel she more than deserves the crown.  All I can say is great things come in small packages.  Well small when standing next to me.   LOL


LargeInCharge Radio - Weekly Radio show discussing Plus Sized Issues.  Friday's 7-9 pm EST - Call in & Chat in our Chat Room.

Raqui's Cool Links  

Raqui's My Space Page

Raqui's Yahoo 360 Page

Thank you for Reading Raqui's Spot

Please send thoughts and comments to

Super Sized Sounds



     Super Sized Sounds will be a Music Column that will feature those who are in the industry or up and coming who are size positive. Giving recognition to the plus sized people who are out there and showcasing themselves.  Reviews, Interview, News and more from our new writer Super Sized Spanishfly Lynx.


      Lynx Garcia, also known as "SUPERSIZE SPANISHFLY", is a Latina BBW from Queens NYC.  Lynx is an activist speaking out against size discrimination and began performing back in 1996 at social events for big beautiful women and big handsome males and their admirers. Her special mixture of sound held true as she sang, spat, danced and performed spoken word, soon she was in demand by Big and Beautiful parties nationwide.  Lynx taking her "look" and sound mainstream was rejected because of her size. She did not let this break her spirit, hurt her confidence or minimize her drive. Instead she rose up and started a public access show (LYNX' LAIR) aired in Queens on TIME WARNER QPTV . Combination of comedy and sexy style, she showcased underground artists of all walks of life. The response to her show was less than a year she has showcased many artist, some who moved to bigger and better things.


     Currently Lynx has caught the attention of Joey Mekkah of BLACK SOLARIS ENTERTAINMENT and found herself on the Grandmaster MELLE MEL's SOLO ALBUM "MUSCLES" featured on the hot latin hip-hop track called 'DIMELO", she is the only collaboration on the album. Lynx recently has started her own radio show on EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO.COM  called Ladies Night. EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO is #1 on the itunes network.





click here And here is the Mocha and Praline Sundae (Raq Place photo here) T.I. Ft Rihanna “Live your Life”

September is here my people, mi gente…

     The sun is still out and good hair days are here again in the concrete jungle known as New York City! I know you feel me my ladies and all you playa’s are on the prowl in search of your fall warm cozy hunny bunny now that you summer stint of “Flavor of the week” is over you wanna be fed, and led to the bed…but all you gonna get is read! Cause my sisters are not having it! They ain’t trying to see you, like my girl Latin Female Emcee Valeria says “Ya No Quiero Verte” They are ready for girls night out all day everyday. Just cause the cool air and cool shoulders have come to town don’t mean the streets ain’t hot with beats and flows and deliveries that melt the mic.

So sit back and click on the exclusive downloads of some of the hottest Hip Hop,Latin Hip Hop a DJ Camilo throwback mixtape. That will bring a tear to your Hip Hop Eye. And as always be sure to check out upcoming events at the end of this feature Now,let’s go in with our first track from our first super sexxxy featured Latina artist who is “The most gifted female rapper in Puerto Rico period”, that quote comes from Echo one of the premiere Latin Hip Hop producers in Puerto Rico. Echo believes Valeria has a unique flow and rap facility that has to be heard, to be believed.” …and I am sure you will agree.


Valeria –“Ya No Quiero Verte”

 valeria,latin hip hop,latina female emcee,female MC

2009 has been a busy year for Valeria. Already co- producing three songs on her album, Valeria spent months in NYC working on her debut with the likes of producers, Echo (Tego Calderon, Don Omar, Winsin & Yandel, Daddy Yankee) and New York newcomers Henry Santos, Wil Knox and Tony Aliperti. Valeria was flown out to Hollywood California to work on the three songs for the soundtrack of the motion picture The Ministers, starring John Leguizamo and Harvey Keitel, directed by Franc. Reyes, (Empire, Illegal Tender).

While in Los Angeles she was invited to appear on a music video by Latin R&B artist De La Ghetto. She was also invited to rap on a track written by Grammy Award winning songwriter Diane Warren. Dayum, she is SUPERSIZING the game! Wishing you all the best my sexxxy strong brown Puerto Rican sister.

I am loving her…Pura Vida!


Here is another artist I am excited about, finally a BHM submitting his mixtape which includes an ode to us FULLer gals and his love is King! Majestik Originality –“Eye Heart BBW”

 The Beast,majestic originality

“Honestly, I wrote this song because I really just adore, love, respect, admire, and Im thrownback when I see a thick mami who really is a poster for beauty! As a man, I’m not just attracted to her assets, but to the way she carries herself, with confidence and that sexiness that controls your attention. Also, I KNOW that I am not the only guy or female who feels the same.

Problem is whenever someone writes a track about thick women, it always has a comedic take on the subject and in the end, it’s taken like big girls are just an easy game at times. I didn’t want to convey that message in this song. I wanted to not only say "damn you fine", but also "wow you're beautiful in every way. Consider it an ode of mine to every thick chick I see pass me by in the street, that I help at work occasionally, or who I have seen at a show or in the media. Plus, I wanted to create an anthem of sorts for every one of them. "Big girls need love too" is so ehhh!

When its said, its in the same confines as "took one for the team" The view on bbw's needs to change. I understand we all need to be healthy, but how we treat each other needs to be healthy also. I respect all BBW's who hold it down for theirs and looking like a goddess every time.” Aww shucks, he described me to a tee,am blushing…lol.. ***ALERT-ALERT*** To All BBW events coordinators and party planners, hire Majestic to perform this song at our fashion shows, events, comedy shows,etc, he’s already performed it at the Legendary S.O.B’s..what?! Let’s support a our bold brown BHM. Get at him  Shout out to my girl Barbara La Guerrera for putting me on to this brother! Tah Dah Dah Dah!

dj camilo hip hop 17

And now here’s my True Hip Hop Head special treat Remember The Sandenistas! Maybe not but it doesn’t matter but you will love their joint “Higher” not to mention 

01. Intro feat. Short Stubby Captain

02. Alkaholiks feat. Ol' Dirty Bastard - Hip Hop Drunkies

03. Tynitty, Gambino & Godfather - Life Is Tragic

04. Krs-One - Move Ahead

05. Tragedy & Mobb Deep - First Day Of Spring

06. Mother Superia - Stick Em

07. Buckshot - No Joke

08. Krs-One - Step Into A World

09. Notorious B.I.G. - Hypnotize

10. Mobb Deep - Take It In Blood

11. Beatnuts - Do You Believe

12. Street Smart feat. OC & Pharoahe Monch - Metal Thangs

13. Arsonist - Venom

14. PMD feat. Das Efx & Nocturnal - Nick Nack Part II

15. A.L. - It Ain't Life

16. Redman - Yes Yes Y'all

17. Sandenistas- Higher Dj Camilo is known for breaking out new fresh music and artists ,during a time when regular dj’s stuck to mainstream Dj Camilo showed and still shows love to the underground and the underground show’s love back, Mixtape Throwback- Dj Camilo’s Hip Hop 17..what?! Man here is the LINK (I ain’t crazy, I don’t have permission to give you the download but shoutout to Soul Productions) enjoy and reminisce…aww sookie!

Shout out to Raf on Fb for taking me back Oh and WARNING!: Don’t forget to follow DJ Camilo on twitter, he is a trip WARNING!


UPCOMING EVENTS I will be Supersizing The Stage for a good cause Spetember 18th,Triad Theatre, Spoken Word Sensations Taalam Acey and 11 year old NeNe Ali to name a few ,to help raise funds for An Orphanage in Kamina Africa.. help give change a jumpstart…this event was put together by 11 yr old Ne Ne Ali, how’s that for inspiration and I just might spit a scribe! Don’t miss out!

 talaam acey,nene ali,lynx garcia,orphanage,kendia group,spoken word,poetry

Get at me ,love feeding and feedback! 

Viva Gorditas!

Want to send in your Voice in for review? Are you a singer, rapper, or poet who performs spoken word?  Up and Coming, already established?  Contact Lynx through her Myspace page or email and all information will be forwarded to her (PUT "FOR LYNX" IN THE SUBJECT AREA) 

You must be a Size Positive Artist, or a Plus Sized Supporter.

Thanks for reading

Super Sized Sounds with Lynx


Lynx Cool Links

From the Plus Side


Emily Smiltneck

     From the Plus side will be column dedicated to short stories that deal with all aspects of Plus size Life.  Emily Smiltneck was chosen for this position because of her dedication, and realistic writing style. She captures the emotional and mental rollercoaster those who are Plus Sized go through.


     Emily Susanne Smiltneck lives in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan (pretty much dead center in the middle of nowhere). She is a substitute teacher, and has recently started a tutoring business. Emily is currently working on several writing projects, including a historical fiction novel and several collections of poetry.

Emily Smiltneck receives recognition in Neighbors Daily Press - See article below


     It is a great joy when our fellow Plus Sized people receive recognition for their life's work.  Join me in this Joyous moment when one of our LargeInCharge writers is seen for her contribution and great dedication to her goals in life.  Click the images above to read the article about our dear Emily. When the page open click on the article to zoom in and read it.


The Adventures of Phatgurl

by Emily Suzanne Smiltneck  

The Adventures Of Phatgurl is a serial collection of stories about the adventures of Jany, a plus-sized young woman who, in desperation, places an ad on a personals website.  As she embarks on her dates, she meets many different kinds of men who expect many different things from her.  Some of her adventures are wildly amusing and others are more serious and even sad. 

If you have any ideas or experiences, funny or otherwise, that you would like to see depicted in a future Phatgurl story, please e-mail me at  I will do my very best to incorporate all reader ideas into future columns.  Thanks!


The Ad (Part 2)

SWSSBBW seeks SM who will not rape her, emotionally or otherwise.  The ability to both speak and write in complete sentences is a plus.  Must not inadvertently throw her down stairs or pretend that she is “Mama.”  Intelligent conversation, a little respect, and the lack of a current significant other will get you far.  And a well-developed sense of humor won’t hurt, either.  If you like smart chicks with jelly bellies and thunder thighs, reply to

Candidate 2.3: The Shy-Guy



Subject: Hello, There


Seems like you might be a good girl to get to know.  How are you?  I am okay.  I just wanted to write you and say hi.  If you anser me, I might not get back to you rite away because I only go online at work and I have some days off, of course.  I like to go to movies and play video games and snuggle.  You seem very smart.  I like that.  Oops.  I could of just gotten in trouble.  My boss walked by.  I will talk to you later.  I hope to hear from you soon.  Bye.  Tom




Subject: Re: Hello, There


I’m doing okay, too.  I’m glad my ad caught your eye- hope it didn’t get you in trouble with your boss!  Whenever you get back to me is fine.  I understand if you don’t get online every day.  I, personally, am sort of addicted to the Internet.  I pretty much get home from work every night and spend the rest of the night either painting or playing around online… lol.    I’m not much for video games, but I do like to go to movies and snuggle.  I even like to do both at once sometimes!  Anyway, it was nice to hear from you and if you want to get to know each other better, just let me know.  You seem like a nice guy.  I added a pic to this e-mail so you can see what I look like.




Subject: Re: Re: Hello, There


I told you it might be a few days.  Sorry!  My boss was around all night last night and I couldn’t get on.  We should go to a movie sometime.  You look like you’d be very nice to snuggle with.




Subject: This Weekend?


If you want to get together, we could go see a movie Friday or Saturday.  I’m free all day both days.  Maybe we can even snuggle a little.  I was thinking of seeing something funny, but I like all kinds of movies, so whatever you want to see is fine with me.  If you’re available, that is.  Looking forward to hearing from you.




Subject: Tom

Hi.  This ain’t Tom.  It Tom’s girl frend acshuly.  Well his frend whos a woman and whos been pretty damm intimit with him.  Us girls gotta stick together.  We been played.  I just wanted 2 let u know.  God told me 2 look at his computer (Toms computer not gods computer) wile he was in the shitter and I found this up on the screen.  Not cool.  Please understand and leave my man alone even tho I know it is his falt and not urs that he talked 2 u.  By.  Sarah.




Subject: Re: Tom


Um, Tom?  Care to explain?  I got this message from your e-mail address: “This ain’t Tom.  It Tom’s girl frend acshuly.  Well his frend whos a woman and whos been pretty damm intimit with him.”  There was more, too, but that’s the important stuff.  What gives?  I’m not into two-timers.  I’ll give you a chance to defend yourself, but be aware that you’re on some thin ice.  I finally let my guard down a little and ended up having a really crappy experience, so I don’t intend to let it happen again.




Subject: Re: Re: Tom


I am really really sorry.  Sarah has been a friend of mine for a very long time.  We have dated a little bit but I didn’t think we were actually together, but she did I guess.  I need some time to try and figure out things.  I don’t know what to do.  I didn’t mean to lie to you.  In the meantime, I have a friend who is very very shy and he doesn’t have e-mail but I showed him your picture and he liked it so he wants to meet you.  He thinks he might be brave enough to meet you because I told him about you and he thinks you sound nice.  He hasn’t been out with a girl or kissed anyone or anything since he was in the 7th grade.  He is thirty-one now.  His name is Lee and he won’t hurt you.  Tell me what time on Saturday if you want to and what theater to meet you at and he will be there he said.


            Jany felt sort of guilty on the way to the movie theater.  The only real reason she was even meeting Lee was that she wanted to get back at Tom.  She’d teach Tom to try to cheat on someone—she’d go out with his friend instead of him!   Except, since it had been his idea, she didn’t suppose it would teach him much at all. 

            She wasn’t sure it was a good idea for her to date someone as shy as this guy sounded, to be in a position of power in a relationship.  And what if he didn’t like her?  When it had taken Jany so long to find any guys at all who were into big girls, it was pretty hard to believe there were two of them who were friends.  It seemed possible that fat admirers traveled in packs, but not probable.

            In any case, it was a little late now.  She was almost there, and supposedly, he would be there waiting for her, a blonde guy in a red t-shirt, and he’d be standing against the wall to the left of the door.  All of this according to Tom, the man who’d tried to make her the other woman.

            Jany hurried along the sidewalk, nervous energy propelling her forward.  And then she was outside of the theater and there he was.  Dirty blonde hair, a bright red t-shirt, blindingly white shoes.  He would have been tall if his shoulders weren’t so slumped.

            “Hi!  Are you Lee?” Jany called softly, when she was maybe fifteen feet away from the door.

            No answer.

            “Um, excuse me.”  It had to be him.  Matched the description perfectly.  “Lee?”

            The man’s head lifted.  Not enough that she could see his face, but enough to indicate that he probably was, indeed, Lee.

            “I’m Jany.  How are you?”

            Still no answer.  He moved toward her, but he didn’t lift his head.  Jany was afraid he might run into her.

            “I—how—hey.  It’s a nice day.”  Questions didn’t seem to be a good idea at this point.  They required answers.  “I wanted to see that movie that came out last week, about the guys that go to that camp.  The funny one.”

            Still no answer.  But when Jany cautiously moved toward the door to the theater, watching Lee over one shoulder, he followed.  Once again, Jany was forced to take his lack of a response as agreement.

            Now to figure out the paying situation.  They hadn’t discussed it when they were e-mailing back and forth through Tom, and Jany suddenly wished they had.  She was fairly certain that it was one conversation they wouldn’t get through as long as Lee remained nonverbal.  She didn’t have a problem paying for herself, but the thing she was worried about was whether Lee would be able to purchase his own ticket.  His shyness seemed to be crippling.

            There wasn’t much Jany could do besides step up to the window and ask for a ticket.  She handed money in through the little hole in the window, got her ticket, and stepped aside.

            “Hi,” Lee said easily to the woman behind the window.  “I’ll take one for the same movie she just got one for.”

            Okay, so maybe he wasn’t so shy.  Maybe he didn’t like Jany.  Or maybe he did like her and was only shy with her because he did.  Jany’s head was swimming as they made their way slowly toward the theater, together and yet somehow worlds apart.

            Once they were inside, Jany looked over the sea of empty chairs.  “Um, Lee?  Where do you want to sit?  I’ll follow you.”  She smiled, proud that she had found a way to get around their communication barrier.  And it seemed to work.  He led her to a couple of seats pretty much dead center in the theater.  Jany wished he had settled just a little closer to the aisle—small aisles weren’t the easiest thing for a rather large woman to navigate—but she decided to compliment him on his choice just the same.  Might help him open up a little.

            “Yeah,” he mumbled.  Without looking at her, of course.  It wasn’t the most encouraging answer he could have given, but he had spoken!

            The silence before the screen came to life was excruciating, so Jany tried to keep up light chatter.  It was easier once the previews before the movie came on.  “I’d like to see that,” she said once, and later, “Oooh, that one looks scary.”  But Lee didn’t open up again.

            The movie was good, for the most part.  Every so often as they watched, Jany would accidentally-on-purpose stretch out her legs and bump into Lee with her knee.  It was interesting to note his reactions.  The first time, she thought he might jump up from his seat and run.  Each time, he handled it a little more calmly than the last, though, and by the time the credits rolled, he was only tensing a little bit at her touch. 


            Jany looked cautiously toward Lee.  “Did you just say something?”  He had spoken so quietly that she couldn’t be sure he had done anything more than breathe, and so quickly that she didn’t have time to hear him.  He nodded.

            “What did—did you ask if I wanted to go eat?”

            Another nod.

            “Okay, well—where did you want to go?”

            Lee stood slowly and shuffled out of the theater the same way he had shuffled in.  Jany followed him out to the street.  A bus was waiting at the stop in front of the theater, and he walked up the stairs.  Jany did, too.

            “Two,” he told the driver as he ran a transit card through the reader twice.  “Nice out tonight, isn’t it?”

            The driver nodded his agreement rather than speaking, and Jany wanted to ask Lee how it felt.  She didn’t, though.  He probably wouldn’t answer.  Jany wasn’t sure whether to feel confident and in control because she was with someone more socially backwards than she was, or insecure because Lee was acting as if he liked everyone else more than he liked her.  If he had asked her out himself, it would have been an easier situation, but he hadn’t.  Was it all just a favor to Tom?  Had Tom told her Lee was shy just so she wouldn’t feel bad if he didn’t speak to her?  She tried to shake off her paranoia and enjoy the bus ride.  They were in a section of town she’d never been in before.

            Lee pulled the stop wire and stood up silently and they got off the bus in front of a red stone building with a neon coffee cup in the window.  Inside, Lee suddenly seemed like a whole new man.  He stood straighter, breathed easier, instantly relaxed.

            “Hey, Jimmer.  I’ll take my usual.  And get her whatever she wants.”  He tilted his head toward Jany for just a second, without looking at her.  Jany ordered a mocha and stared at Lee in wonder as he carried on an easy conversation with the man behind the counter.  Their drinks were half gone by the time Lee stepped away from the counter and sat at a table in the corner of the room.  Silently, they sat down.  And suddenly Jany couldn’t take it anymore—she couldn’t take the silent treatment, the wondering whether it was because of her or because of him.

            “Lee?  I know you haven’t really spoken to me at all yet, but I need to ask you something.  Try really hard to answer me.  Do you like me?  At all, even a little?”  She waited nervously to see if he would answer, and even more nervously to see what his answer would be.  He looked down into his coffee cup.  He nodded his head slightly.

            “Really, or are you just saying that?  Because you have spoken to, like, everyone else we’ve seen tonight, and you’ve hardly said a word to me.  It feels sort of like you’re embarrassed to be with me or something, like you’re ignoring me.  And if that’s the way you feel, I’d rather just leave.”  Not the sort of thing she’d usually have the guts to say, but if he wasn’t talking to her, it wasn’t like he could yell at her or say anything hurtful.

            “No!”  His voice was still quiet, but this time it was clear.  “I do like you.  I’m just not brave enough to talk.  You—you’re pretty.  I don’t talk to girls much.”

            “You think I’m pretty?” Jany asked.  Now it was her turn to speak softly.

            “Yeah.”  Lee’s face went red.

            “Well—you don’t have to be afraid.  I like you so far, even though I haven’t gotten to know you very well.  But I’m not a mean person or anything, and I’m used to dealing with all sorts of people.  I can handle you being shy; I am, too.  But it would be nice if you could talk to me a little bit, you know.”

            “I know.  I’ll try.  How about—”  Lee paused, blushed again, and looked toward the man at the counter.  Jany looked up in time to see the guy flash Lee a thumbs up, which caused her to blush as well.

            “How about what?”

            “Wanna—do you—would ya like to come watch a movie or something at my apartment?  It takes so long to get used to someone—I don’t want you to go yet.”

            “Um, yeah.  I can do that.”  How dangerous could it be?  The guy could barely talk to her.  A short (silent) bus ride later, they were walking into an apartment complex.

            Lee didn’t say a word.  He simply unlocked the door, walked inside, and sat on the couch.  Jany sat next to him and waited to see what was next.  Absolutely nothing, it looked like.  Lee stared at the empty TV screen in front of him.  Jany stared at the side of Lee’s face.  A cat wound around their ankles.  A clock somewhere ticked and tocked.

            “Um, Lee?” Jany whispered.  “Do you want to watch a movie or something, like you said?”  The silence was going to drive her up a wall.  It gave her too much time to be insecure.

            Lee didn’t answer.  Apparently, the two or three sentences he had said in the coffee house had used up his word allowance for the day.  He did turn on the TV though, to the news.  It was better than nothing, anyway.  They watched in what he probably thought was companionable silence.  Jany wondered why, when all she wanted was to sit and watch TV with a guy, feel connected, be able to pretend that they were actually in a relationship, she wasn’t overjoyed to be sitting in Lee’s couch.  It was the connection thing.  There was no connection between them.  And so Jany decided that it was time to create one. 

            Bravely, she moved over so that her legs were almost touching Lee’s.  He glanced warily at her, but he didn’t move.  Jany took it as consent and snuggled close to him.  When the news show was over and some reruns came on, she slowly reached up and rubbed the back of his neck.  For some reason, the back of a man’s neck was her favorite part of his body.  Maybe just because it seemed so intimate to touch a place that was so often overlooked.  Then she turned, boosted herself up on one knee.  She slowly placed her lips on his and kissed him, softly and innocently.  Then she sat back down and took his hand in hers.

            Once again, they silently stared at the TV.  Jany wasn’t so calm, inside, though.  Her heart was thudding, her pulse racing.  She couldn’t believe that she had dared to make a first move, especially with someone who didn’t seem all that enthusiastic about her.  But he had said she was pretty.  That had to mean something.  And if he was never going to start talking to her, their relationship wouldn’t amount to much anyway, so why not?

            Jany kissed Lee again, more passionately this time.  To her surprise, he responded.  He couldn’t talk, but he was apparently less shy when it came to body language.  Soon, they were kissing and lightly rubbing each other’s arms, backs, shoulders.  Jany felt a surge of power that turned her on, more than she’d ever been turned on before.  She tried not to wonder whether the feeling came from an attraction to him or merely from feeling powerful.  Jany had tried to seduce a man and it had worked!  She finally gathered up all her courage.

            “Lee?  Would you like to go in the bedroom?”  She sat back; chances were he wasn’t going to answer her, so it was best to leave him space to get up if he chose to.  And he did.  Jany followed him into the bedroom and waited quietly to see what he would do.  He sat on the edge of the bed.  She slowly walked toward him, sat on the bed behind him, and began to rub his shoulders.  After a few minutes, she carefully tugged on his shirt and he moved his arms so that she could pull it off.  Her breath caught, her body shuddered in anticipation.  She pushed him gently down onto the bed, removed her own shirt, and lay next to him.  They made out some more.

            When Lee’s muscles had relaxed and Jany had caught her breath, she slid a few fingers into the waistband of his pants and ran them back and forth, trying to judge his reaction.  There wasn’t one, so she took things to the next level.  Slowly, she unbuttoned his pants.  Her heart seemed frozen and it felt as if it had been years since she’d drawn a breath.  Her knees were weak with fear.  Was she doing the right things, doing them the right way?  She was much more comfortable being the follower than the leader.

            Lee stood up and let his pants fall, so that he was standing in front of her, completely naked.  He looked at her expectantly.  Jany squeezed her eyes shut, forced air into her lungs, and stood up to remove her own clothes.  The two of them lay side by side on the bed, not touching, just getting used to being there, together.  And then Jany gently brushed her fingers over Lee’s most private part, and found that he was as turned on as she was, and she pulled him so that he was leaning on her.  But there was something else she had to do, something she’d never done that scared her to death.

            “Lee?” she whispered.  “Are we going to do this?  Really?”

            He barely nodded.

            “Okay.  Hold on a second.”  She wondered briefly if she should cover her naked body so the sight of her belly and thighs wouldn’t ruin anything, then decided against it.  She got up and went in search of her purse, then came back a minute later with a condom in her hand.  She opened it and handed it to Lee.  She was not brave enough to try to put it on herself, nor was she brave enough to ask him to, but he understood.  And then he rolled onto her once again and they both forgot themselves as he entered her.

            It wasn’t the most exciting experience Jany’d had, and it wasn’t the longest.  She wished there had been a little more lead up.  But when they were laying side by side again, breathing deeply, Jany was happy.  She’d managed to take control of a situation that made her totally uncomfortable.  It was a good feeling.  Slowly, she drifted to sleep.

            “Jany.  Hey, Jany, wake up!”

            Jany lifted her head, confused.  It took her a minute to remember where she was.  And who she was with, because Lee seemed to be a whole new person.

            “I need to ask you something!”

            “Yeah, okay.  Go ahead.”  Jany wrapped the sheet around her and sat up.

            “I want you to know something.  I love you.  I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

            Jany froze, eyes wide, her mouth a giant O in the center of her face.  He had gone from not being able to talk to this?

            “Um.”  She giggled.  “I—wow.  That was unexpected.”

            “Do you want to have children?  I do.  I want three kids.  A boy and two girls.  You can move in here with me.  I can get my brother’s truck and we can do it today.  Okay?  I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.  Ever.  I love you, Jany.  I really, really love you.”

            The quiet, shy man was gone.  In his place was a raving maniac who wanted to marry Jany based on one night of—well, not passion, exactly.  Sex.  One night of sex.  Jany’s first instinct was to get up and just run.  It was really creeping her out.  But she couldn’t do that for a few different reasons.  First, she was naked.  But besides that, how could she hurt this poor man?  When he’d been afraid to talk to her, it had been difficult to get a picture of who he was.  Now he seemed lonely, desperate, and more than a little simple-minded.  While Jany was lost in thought, he was babbling away about how happy they would be together and how lovely their children would be and how soon they could start sleeping in the same bed together every night.  Neither of them would need to see any of their friends ever again because they had each other.  Jany was actually afraid.  And every instinct she had told her just to run.

            But she knew that wasn’t fair.  It was time to grow up and learn how to handle confrontation.  She stood up and started dressing as she talked.

            “Um, hey, I like you a lot, but I really don’t think we’re ready to even think about something like that.  We need to slow down.  I need to get back home anyway.  You can get my number or whatever through Tom.  I’m sorry.”

            “No, don’t go!  I want you to stay by me.  I love you.  I’ve never been with a woman before, not like that.  And we have to stay together now!”  Lee’s voice was a whiny monotone.

            “I’m really sorry.  Give me a call sometime.”  Jany walked quickly into the living room and scooped up her purse, then headed for the door.  “Bye,” she called as Lee walked out of the bedroom.

            “I love you, Jany.  I love you.  I want you to have my children.  I did something naughty with you and we need to be together now.”  He was crying.

            “I—I’m sorry.  I really need to go.”

            Jany slammed the door behind her and ran toward the bus stop.  She wasn’t sure if it was fear or guilt chasing her—fear that he’d follow her and force her to stay, guilt that she’d started something she couldn’t finish, at least in his mind—but there was something propelling her forward.



Thanks for reading

From the Plus Side with Emily Smiltneck


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Good 4 U Food

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By: Xander - The Food Dude


Gearing It Up

by Xander The Food Dude

Last month, I wrote about change.  As it is currently September, we have crossed the threshold from Summer to Fall and now we face the unrelenting assault of the impending holiday.  No rest for the weary you say ?  Perhaps, but it’s not like we can stop the clock… or can we ?  No…. no, we can’t stop the clock, but can we alter time as we see it.

 Let’s evaluate that and what we can do to minimize the torture of holiday requirement from a variety of aspects.  We live in a world of back-breaking, heart-wrenching, soul-stealing demands.  These demands are put on us from our personal and professional lives.

Back some time ago when talking about change I noted that some psychologists had indicated that 21 days of change would then have an internalizing effect on our behaviors.  So, in taking that to heart, I approached it from this angle.  In August I took my top 4 pains.  I had to stop there as they pretty much covered most aspects of my life.  They were as follows:



  • too much work to do

  • always behind - which resulted in

  • Too much time spent from family and friends, piles of work

  • Too much stress


Relationships  -

  • Tough with some family

  • Desire to elevate tensions

  • Starting new relationship

  • Desire to further develop those relationships

  • Too much stress       



  • Diminishing health

  • Increased health problems from Diabetes

  • Diminishing ability in physical capabilities

  • Too much stress



  • Covering all bills – very little left over

  • Doesn’t leave much for extras or emergencies

  • Need to supplement income  - How

  • Too much stress

What I realized was that each items was an integral part of the other.  So it looked at first as though the problems were pretty much “life in general”.  Obviously, this is no helpful in evaluation.  I thought at first if I just started tearing these things apart then maybe it might be clearer what I needed to do, but then it could take weeks to tear all these items apart.  It reminded of my ongoing 13 page to do lists.  Totally useless.  I stared at these items in desperation and finally it dawned on me.  Since these items were so integral, positive changes in one of the areas should have a mutually positive effect in other areas… at lease in theory.  Each item has the phrase too much stress.  I need to work on my stress level.  Even as much as I detest it… the quickiest way to deal with some stress it to burn off these stressful energy in the form of exercise.  Twenty-one days was my goal.  If I burn off some stress and calories.  It effect my health.  If it effects my stress and my health, then it effects all the other portions of my life.  Seemed to make sense.  Day one though day 14 can only be described as utter and complete Hell.  Day 15 though day 17, a little better, not much mind you.  Day 21, I was finished with my little experiment.  We know look back on the last 21 days with a fresh eye to see what we have accomplish.  The first thing is, I’ve dropped about 15 pounds.  Helped the Diabetes sugar levels and other key health aspects.  Increased energy and really the ability to better focus.  Work is still a killer, but I have been able to accomplish more with the better focus.  It become clear this is a long term adjustment. 

By getting more done in less time due to the focus, I’ve subsequently had more time to spend with friends and family, which further reduce stress levels.  One of those friends has offered me a possibility of supplementing my income with some small level of effort.  Nothing major, but I don’t need another source of time eating to take away from family and friends, so it’s a possibility.  With increased time with friends and family, the relationships are better.  Some of those bad relationship, I’ve come to realize are not going to get better with any amount of efforts, so I chose to accept that reality and move on to focusing on enhancing my good relationships.  I’ve come to accept that there is no use throwing away my limited resources on outcomes that have no positive aspect.  This is perhaps something I can address in the future, or revisit, but I no longer feel bad about what has happened.  Either it works out or not, I refuse to let it effect me anymore.

The results:  in 21 days I have started on one aspect of my life… my health and it has increased the level of satisfaction in other areas of my life.  Although there is still a great deal of work to be completed in these various areas, I now feel that there is FINALLY some forward momentum in a positive direction.  There have also been setbacks I this time, but I still think overall, those have been easier to deal with due to the changes in one area which effected all the areas.

Day 22 – back to the gym.  And the beat goes on.  I feel justified an empowered by the completing of the 21 day experiment.  Perhaps that’s the true point of it.  It’s a lot like High School.  The point is to survive it and come through it stronger.  The mere act of completing 21 days of something you said you would instills a sense of self pride that despite everything else you made a point complete one thing.  In turn, for me it effects so many others.

Christmas carols sing about wonderful times.  In reality they can be complete destroyed by the stresses of the season. Too much to do and too little time to do it, crowds, spending hours wrapping gifts and cooking special treats, icy roads, end of the year work reports, opinionated relatives, figuring out gifts to buy without breaking your bank account...all these things can serve to cause more pain than holiday cheer.  One things that you’ll need to focus on is to give things the proper priority and plan for it.  As MacGyver once said it’s better to make the best of a situation than let the situation get the best of you.  Below are a variety of tipe that may just help make these holidays some of your best ever.  Whatever else it may do, it may give your some precious time with family and friends to truly remember what we are to be celebrating rather than what multinational corporations tell us we should be celebrating.

Put First Things First – Determine things in order of Priority

Figure out what is truly important to do, and do those things only. If you can get more things at one single store instead of running all over trying to grab the best prices and hottest deals, you might save some headaches, and foregoing some of the deals will actually save gas money! Can you buy gifts online ? You can purchase items easily and save a lot of money and time by finding websites with great deals on the items you know you want to buy.  Also, make it a goal to enjoy the holidays.  There’s no worse feeling than to get through them only to start a new year and realize that you’ve ended it with a devastating amount of work.  Don’t do that to yourself anymore.

Make a Schedule

Sit down and write out every thing you need to do and remember. Once you know your list is complete, grab your calendar and start schedule a few things to accomplish every day.  Carry this list and schedule with you, and when unexpected things pop up as they always do, write them in. This little activity alone can help stop the feeling of being out of control which only leads to furthering stressful times.

Set Boundaries

What can you handle and what can’t you handle ?  Take time and be realistic about if your want to be the place for the holiday meal this year.  Instead of fixing everything yourself, maybe it would be best to have potluck where everyone brings in their favorites.  It’s one of the most common problems in the holidays is to take on more than your can handle.  Are you always the person who says yes even though you can’t find the time to take care of what you need to take care of when you need to take care of them.  One of the first things you need to take care of is you and your needs.  Otherwise what can you do for others ?  Family making too many demands on you ?  They’re your family and friends and you love them, but remember that you are your own person and you make your own rules.


 If you’ve said yes too many times and the To-Do list is out of control, start calling in the troops.  All of those friends and family members who expect you to take care of all the things can help.  If they don’t think they need to help then maybe it isn’t worth the time to worry about it.  Be aware that if you need help, there is not reason not to ask for it.  No one will think the lesser of you and everyone can enjoy the season more.  Make the season a true time of celebrating your friends, family, relationships, and yourself.

It is this control of stress that hit me so hard in my life that every September is seemed to increase due to the holidays I wanted to give you all some guide lines in order to help as we move into the “silly” season.  I hope these things help you.  Until October, I wish you all the best of luck and the best of times.  I hope this guide for the holidays gets you started on the a joyful, stress free and pleasant time for you and your family

Xander's Recipe of the Month



Food To Kick You Into Gear

This month’s selection of foods will give you high energy to combat the stresses that hit you everyday.  They each have a full, hearty flavor, with great healthy aspects.


Greek Beef and Pasta in a Pot

Looking for easy recipes for ground beef that are quick to make and taste great too? Try this quick one-pot meal. The combination of the salty feta and olives with the vegetables and beef makes this a real winner!  A chunky pasta like rotini or penne works best in this recipe.



2 cups whole wheat pasta

1 lb lean ground beef

1 medium onion, chopped

1 cup sliced mushrooms

1 sweet pepper, red or green, diced

2 cloves garlic, pressed

1 can (14 oz) diced tomatoes, with juice

1/2 cup shredded mozzarella cheese

1/2 cup crumbled feta cheese

1/4 cup chopped, pitted black olives

2 Tbsp basil pesto


Cook pasta according to package directions. Drain and set aside.

While the pasta is cooking, grate the mozzarella cheese. (A coarse-grind grater works best when grating soft cheeses like mozzarella.)


The pasta is still cooking! Put the ground beef, onion, mushrooms, pepper and garlic into a non-stick pot (I prefer cast iron) and cook over medium heat until meat is cooked thoroughly and any liquid has evaporated. Turn heat to low.
Stir in tomatoes, mozzarella, feta, olives, pesto and cooked pasta.
Heat it over low heat, stirring occasionally, until heated through.


Mexican Skillet Supper

This is one of my favorite simple ground beef recipes. My mom used to make this when she was in a rush. I like it because it is a quick meal, because it uses just one pan, and - most importantly - because it tastes good! If you have leftover rice in the fridge, use it instead of cooking fresh rice.

1 lb g ground beef

1 cup chopped onion

1 can (14 oz) tomatoes, not drained

1 Tbsp chili powder

1 1/2 cups cooked rice

1 cup shredded lettuce

1 cup shredded cheese



First of all, before gathering any other supplies, put the rice on to cook.
Brown the beef and onion together in a skillet. Drain any fat.


Add the tomatoes and chili powder.

Cook over medium heat, stirring to break up the tomatoes.

The rice should be ready! Stir the cooked rice into the skillet.

Reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer for about 5 minutes, until heated through, and any liquid is absorbed.

Spoon into individual bowls.

Top each bowl with lettuce and cheese.



20 Minute Chicken Creole

This quick Southern dish contains no added fat and very little added salt in its spicy tomato sauce.  It’s a traditional rib sticking, and quite healthy dish that goes into the keeper file for future use.




Nonstick cooking spray as needed

4 medium chicken breast halves, skinned, boned, and cut into 1" strips*

1 Can (14 oz.) tomatoes, cut up**

1 cup low-sodium chili sauce

1-1/2 cups green peppers, chopped (1 large)

1/2 cup celery, chopped

1/4 cup onion, chopped

2 cloves minced garlic

1 tablespoon fresh basil or 1 teaspoon dried

1 tablespoon fresh parsley or 1 teaspoon dried

1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper

1/4 teaspoon salt



1. Spray a deep skillet with nonstick spray coating. Preheat pan over high heat.

2. Cook chicken in hot skillet, stirring, for 3-5 minutes, or until no longer pink. Reduce heat.

3. Add tomatoes and their juice, low-sodium chili sauce, green pepper, celery, onion, garlic, basil, parsley, crushed red pepper, and salt. Bring to boiling; reduce heat and simmer, covered, for 10 minutes.

4. Serve over hot cooked rice or whole wheat pasta.

* You can substitute 1 lb. boneless, skinless, chicken breast, cut into 1-inch strips.
** To cut back on sodium, try low sodium canned tomatoes.


Thank you for Reading Good Food 4U

By Xander the Food Dude

Please send thoughts and comments to

Big Girls on the Red Carpet


Cher Rue is an actress, writer and producer. Starting out with writing "Dear Cher" she knew she loved helping other people. Being plus size all her life this was where she knew her calling was.

Cher was seen on "Dr.Phil, "Good Morning America", "Entertainment Tonight", "Russian, British, Japanese, and Viet Vietnamese Television". Also a documentary filmed at the Las Vegas Bash on the Travel channel, and Current TV, a online station, with numerous radio interviews talking about size acceptance.
You can also see a recurring show "Secret Lives of Women" seen on the We channel "Women's entertainment".

Cher was recently in a new movie "Forever Plaid" coming out soon.

Cher is now involved with mainstream "Hollywood" and charity events showing that beauty comes in all sizes
it is what is inside that counts.

Cher has always loved seeing others happy and helping others to find their inner self and beauty.
Ten years ago, she found the plus size community and she knew this is where she would focus on helping others who were like her and had some of her experiences and pain that she went through.


Fabowlous time for Charity - Kierrah Foundation & Fun

Article by: Cher Rue 


On Tuesday, July 28, 2009 Fabowlous, a monthly fashion, entertainment mixer and charity bowling event benefiting Kierrah Foundation was held at Lucky Strike from 9 pm to 11 pm inside the Hollywood & Highland complex. The event show cast Live DJ, models, business entrepreneurs that are interesting in networking and exposure.The designers for the event were Parris Harris,Punk mail, and yoga army. It was a fun and fantastic show.

Fabowlous was created as another fun alternative to bring people together in the fashion and entertainment industry in one place to network, while supporting the community, by having a charity bowling activity, as well as a fashion show.” Said Jovy Janolo, CEO & Event Producer
The venue features live DJ, big flat TV screens and bowling lanes. It sells food & drinks. Fabowlous is produced and presented by &

The event allows guest to networking by exchanging business cards and raise money for non-profit charities.

He concluded “I hope to have more of my mixers in the future at different types of venues (bars, bowling alleys, coffee shops, parks, etc.)… not only to offer a fun environment to network but to further reach out to people who are serious to get in the industry, but he or she is not into bars or clubs. I’ve been doing this type of “not-your-typical” mixer for almost two years now and loving it. Definitely there are other fun activities that I want to see in the future.”


About Jovy Janolo:
Educated in the US and abroad with a Masters in Business Administration (major in Marketing Management), Jovy Janolo has worked with leading profit and non-profit organizations such as National Notary Association, American Express® International, CHASE Visa®, GMAC® Insurance, DHL Express®, OfficeMax, Sharp® Electronics, Entertainment® Publications, Ayala Land Philippines, Philippine Telephone Company, and many small to medium size companies for their marketing campaigns, product promotions, direct mail pieces, and/or graphic design (print and web) projects.

Is a place to meet and network with people in the fashion industry such as designers, models, stylist, photographers, etc. You can also promote, sell, buy, and swap your products, services, and even events to the fashion industry and fashionistas. It produces and presents monthly mixers that features LIVE fashion shows, performances, celebrity hosts and appearances, etc.


Parris Harris and Yoga Army @ faBOWLous from Jovy Janolo on Vimeo.

Video 2

VJ Michael Benz and Tristan Starchild perform "I AM SO LA" @ faBOWLous from Jovy Janolo on Vimeo.


Thanks for reading Big Girls on the Red Carpet

Hot & Heavy Entertainment


     Stephanie Baham is a native of Los Angeles, CA and now resides in the San Francisco area. She's a 38 year old professional who has long enjoyed the craft of writing. Her other interests include film, theatre, yoga, dancing, literature and politics. Stephanie holds a Bachelor's degree from Cal State University, Long Beach in Theatre Arts. She is currently working towards her degree in Psychology.


Miss Platnum

with Stephanie Baham

Sometimes I like to see what Europe has to offer in the way of plus sized entertainment.  This month, I came across Miss Platnum!  This soulful, funky songstress produces size friendly music that is truly a celebration. 

Miss Platnum was born Ruth Maria Renner in Romania in 1980.  Her family relocated to Berlin when she was 8.  As a youth, she took singing lessons and love of music was cemented during her apprenticeship with R & B marvel Jocelyn B. Smith. Eventually she spent time as a back-up singer for German bands like Moabeat and Cultured Pearls.

In 2005 she took on the name Platnum and released her debut album called album called Rock Me.  It was released on an independent label in Berlin called Sonar Kollektiv. Platnum then released her second album, Chefa, 2007 under her new name, Miss Platnum. Produced by Die Krauts, it distinguished itself through a mixture of Hip-Hop, Soul R&B and Pop, and Romanian Musical elements. Its lead single, "Give Me the Food" reached the top 20 of the Romanian single charts, and gave her a chart debut with a position of 63 on the German charts.  Her latest hit singles Come Marry Me (with Pete Fox) and Mercedes Benz are making the rounds and are just as catchy and entertaining. Miss Platnum is currently signed to a German label called Four Music Productions.

Below is the video of this plus sized diva's famous melody, Give Me The Food.  (The intro is in German, the rest in English.)  What I like about this video is that the beats are catchy, the lyrics are fun and Miss Platnum & her back-up dancers exude confidence and joy. 

Give Me The Food - Miss Platnum

Being a big girl can be hard in any country.  But Miss Platnum makes music that does not apologize for who she is, but celebrates her lifestyle and size.  Not only that, Miss Platnum experiments with lots of diverse styles of music which makes her even more unique.

She Moved In is another favorite tune of mine from Miss Platnum. Watch the video is pure diva!

She Moved In - Miss Platnum

You can find Miss Platnum on the web at the addresses below.  Her music is also available on iTunes and Amazon. 
The song playing on her main site is called Drink Sister Drink and it has a nice edgy rock sound. Enjoy!

Stephanie Baham


Thanks for reading Hot & Heavy Entertainment

Stephaine's Links:


National and International Plus Size News


     I am a former plus-size model and stage performer. I have written articles that have appeared in local newspapers, college magazines and I was a sports editor for my school newspaper. Currently I have a book coming out in May 08, How to Make a Living Without a Job: the Guide to Professional Temping. It will be available online through Amazon and can be ordered through Barnes & Noble or Borders. I split my time between the Bay Area, CA and Houston, TX.


Yet Another Airline Introduces a Policy to Charge Obese Passengers More
with Iolande Vitt Argent


United Airlines new policy forces larger passengers who do not fit in to a single seat to purchase another seat if there is not a free seat next to them. The airlines will go as far as upgrades to business class or bumping the passenger to another flight. They join the ranks of American Airlines, Southwest and Air France to name a few.

As airlines adopt or toughen policies for obese passengers, some question how they can enforce such measures fairly. The main problems arise with seating as airlines try to force more passengers in to each flight, making seats closer together. This leads to complaints from customers who feel their space is 'infringed'.

How to accommodate severely overweight passengers is an issue that has long rankled air travelers. Issues of weight and seat proximity have become more sensitive in recent years as airlines narrow seat widths and flights have become fuller.

But really how do you judge someone as being “obese”? It’s not merely the size of the hips.

Aviation consultant Robert Mann, president of R.W. Mann & Co. had this to say, "How do you eyeball someone and decide they're not going to fit?" said "From a knees-to-seat-back perspective, I don't fit. I'm 6 feet, 4 inches.”

And what about athletes? Sure the football and basketball stars maybe able to afford that extra seat or even pro wrestlers; but what about the college students traveling? If they are also athletes they too would be required to purchase an extra seat; but on a student budget? Interesting, that’s not to say that airlines over book flights to cut their fuel costs so they offer to take back those extra seats the “obese” would have to purchase.

Suppose they never thought about that little problem.


Thanks for reading Did You Know

The Big GB

My Gastric Bypass Memoirs

Sonya L. Bennett, (also known as “Truthfulblkwoman”) is a 38 year old, black female, single with no children living in Detroit, Michigan.  She is the youngest of a set of fraternal female twins, with a older sister.  Sonya lives with being the larger twin, and discovered people always presumed that they would look alike in SOME way... Even though fraternal twins don't necessarily look alike.  Always being the heavier of the two, people (family, associates, friends) were quick to point it out. She grew to realize an outer appearance is what people judge you on initially.  As a college-educated freelance court stenographer, it never occurred to her that size would prohibit her from receiving work.  In the legal world, the “eye candy” usually didn’t fill UP the corner.

In 2007, Sonya was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes; a generational curse that she had prayed to avoid, but didn’t worry about while she piled butter pecan ice cream on her German Chocolate Cake.    Only a few months into this diagnosis, she woke up one morning unable to walk and in excruciating pain in her left foot.  Doctors finally diagnosed an acute tendonitis, exacerbated by uncontrolled diabetes.  That was the wake-up call, She had suffered for years with high cholesterol and sleep apnea; all associated with her weight,  it wasn’t until this happened (wheelchair bound for a month and on crutches following that) did she tell herself "I have to do something about my weight."  On April 17, 2008, Sonya had the gastric bypass medical weight loss procedure and it was the best decision that she made for herself.  In these upcoming writings, Sonya invites you to learn the ups and downs of gastric bypass: through the eyes of one who lives it every day.


Surgery Day - Recovery

with Sonya Bennett

I’m rolling down the hall and hear the nurses say, “It went well, considering she ate last night!”  I pretended like I was still asleep because I was embarrassed; apparently, it was a real mess in there since I

  1. Ate within 24 hours and

  2. The suppository never worked. 

The surgery took two and a half hours and I received the Rouen-Y procedure.

Waking up in recovery, everyone was in my private room.  I had been told that I could not have anything by mouth until later that evening except a sponge with water on it that I could suck on or someone could feed to me: that was the best treat I could have in this condition!  My sister was rubbing the little, pink sponge over my lips with the cold water.  The nurses placed pillows around my arms and on my stomach to help alleviate the strain of using my abdominal muscles as I tried to sit up or roll over.  I was given a controlled intravenous drip of Morphine that I could press whenever I was in pain – that became my new best friend!  You never realize how much you use your abdominal muscles until they are sore: coughing, turning over, reaching for something; everything brought pain.  I couldn’t even sit up by myself. 

Several hours into my recovery time, two nurses came and assisted me out of the bed and told me that I would have to walk the perimeter of the hospital floor that I was on at least once every hour.  Walking wasn’t the problem; getting out of bed was the excruciating hardship.  The nurses and my family walked with me as I began my journey, clinging to my IV pole for support.  When I returned to my room, there were other tasks that would have to be done at least once an hour and the nurses explained them to me: coughing – a strenuous task that brought tears to my eyes – needed to be done as often as possible.  Sucking into an Incentive Spiro Meter (the plastic contraption that I received during my P.A.T)  in a series of four, for a count of 10 seconds; this was done to aide in bringing my normal oxygen levels back up.  There was another plastic device that would strengthen my respiratory muscles by blowing air out of my lungs; another four sets of 10 seconds which needed to be done hourly.  Along with the normal hospital procedures of checking my heart rate, blood pressure and blood sugar.  My time in the hospital was not a restful one.

Before my surgery, I was presented with a menu of possible meal options: orange or lime Jell-O, beef or chicken-flavored broth and different flavors of sugar-free beverage – yum!  Needless to say, this gave a whole new meaning to ‘bad hospital “food”!  After hours of the pink-sponge-cold-water-diet, the beef broth tasted like steak.  I would stay in the hospital for two more days, building my strength up to go home and begin what I call the “Baby Stage”.


Join me next month as I define the “Baby Stage”…


Thanks for reading

The Big GB - My Gastric Bypass Memoirs

Sonya's Links:

Sonya Bennett on Facebook


Time to tell it like it is!


     This is an experiment in Confession, you can anonymously confess, or let everyone know something that you feel.  Every Month we will post all the confessions and you can come and view them and be inspired to make your own.


     You can send in a picture,  You can make a graphic,  You can just send in your written words.  You can do it anonymously and get something off your chest.  You can let everyone know who you are and liberate yourself.


     Hope you enjoy Confession!  Send in your own check the bottom of this page!





I used to always point at other people saying something was wrong with them

Something was wrong with me.





I am a big man who feels alone.  WHY?





Real men don't complain about the things they have to do for their women.

They are grateful to have good woman to do things for.




Send in your own Confession,  Use the email to the Right and send in a your confession, weather it is a graphic you made (NO BIGGER THAN 5x7 92 DPI) or a picture you saw.  You can also just send in text words.  Your Confession can be Anonymous or you can tell everyone who you are.

Send in your Confession NOW!

Thanks for reading Confession

Send in your Confession to


Large In Charge Guest Spot

We want to hear and see your talents!


One of our favorite parts of the Magazine.  The Guest Spot is for our readers to submit there talents to be viewed.  We want to see all you wonderful supporters making moves of your own.  If you write poetry, short stories, commentaries, or just thoughts in general, please submit them to us.  If your a designer we want to see pictures of your clothing.   We would love to include your talents in our newsletter.  We hope you take an active part in the L.I.C. newsletter. Send in your article, poetry, comments to -

NOTE: The Opinion of the writer is not always the opinion of The Large in Charge Staff.  We support the Right to all views.  We do not Condemn or Approve writing based on our personal thoughts.  We approve writing based on if the subject is a concern for the BBW / SSBBW / BHM Community.  Thank you for your writing and please send in those articles!  - The Large in Charge Staff

Guest Writer


Written By: Darliene Howell

I used to have a great deal of respect for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), until PETA as an organization has chosen to stigmatize a large portion of our population through their "Lose the Blubber" billboard campaign in Jacksonville, Florida.

If a child in school were to do what PETA is doing, their behavior would be called bullying for acting in an overbearing and/or intimidating manner. When has being a bully EVER been acceptable? It is not. This behavior and this billboard is NOT acceptable. How is this ethical treatment of human beings?

PETA's automated response to people that have had the courage of their convictions to tell them how this campaign demoralizes and demeans them, was "We apologize for any offense we may have caused; that was not our intent." (Too late!) And that "...we think it would be cruel not to tell people about the health benefits of going vegetarian." Oh! So it's being done out of concern for our health and that gives them the right to humiliate us? Is this their brand of ETHICAL TREATMENT?

The message goes on to talk about vegetarian living and how we wouldn't be obese and unhealthy if we stopped eating meat. Interesting, since I was a Vegan for a couple of years during my younger years and did not find that I lost any weight as a result. Okay, so I was still obese but I MUST have been healthier, according to their assertion. Hmmmm... Sounds a little like we could be healthy and still be fat? Does that mean that PETA believes in Health at Every Size (HAES)? Doubtful!

After all of this, they have the audacity to ask for a donation!

In a press release from the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance (NAAFA), they send a clear message that "Stigmatization does not work!" and that "This campaign's sole purpose is to bring PETA's animal rights agenda to the public discussion at the expense of an entire segment of the American population." I absolutely agree. They have received LOTS of media attention and letters of protest as a result of this campaign.

I'm very proud of all of the people that have stood up for themselves and others by writing to PETA in protest. If you would like to express your disappointment in their tactics and tell them that stigmatizing fat people is not acceptable, please send an email to

I've also had a number of friends who are animal lovers, that have supported PETA in the past, tell me they will no longer do so because of the way they have handled this advertising campaign. This may be the very best way to handle things. Hit them below the belt... the money belt, that is. There are many, many nonprofit organizations out there vying for our charitable-giving dollar. PETA will NOT be one of my choices.

For more information on Health at Every Size (HAES),


To read NAAFA's full press release,

"Message to PETA: Stigmatization Does Not Work!",

go to  or



Interested in applying for a writers position?


     Send in the information below along with a clear photograph of yourself and one complete article at least 300 words.  Please make sure your article is matching the position your applying for.  If you are a versatile writer and applying for more than one position send in one article for each position.


     Any submissions maybe be used in the magazine as a guest article or other wise if you do not receive a position.  If you are picked for a position it will be used as a back up for your column in case of emergency.


I want to Apply for a Writers Position:


My Name is:

My email address is:

My Phone Number is:

My location/address is:

The position I am applying for is:


Here is my article:


I am allowing LargeInCharge to use my image and article as they see fit.  By typing my name and date I understand that I agree to the above.   NAME/DATE


Send to:


Thank you

Send in your Work to Appear in LargeInCharge

We love our guest writers, they help us to make LargeInCharge more personal and reader friendly place.  We bring the people words from there own peers.  If you always wanted to write but never knew what to do with your thoughts and opinions.  Send them in to us we love to feature you in our guest spot.


What type of entries do we accept?

  • Original Articles that have not been placed in publication.

  • Size Empowerment Stories

  • Discovery of Size Acceptance

  • Romance of Large Size

  • Poetry - at least 25 lines in length

  • Complaints about Society

  • Complaints about what is provided for Big People

  • Complaints about Health Care

  • Weight Loss Surgery Experiences

  • Dealing with Doctors

  • The Joy of being Big

  • Learning to Love yourself

  • etc.

How to Submit my Article for review?

  • Check your article for spelling and correct format, We do not edit articles.
  • Attach your article either in Word, Text Format, or in the Body of your email.
  • In your email send your Real Name, E-mail and Address (state, location).
  • Under your Name and Address include date, and the line. "I give and there owners, permission to use my written article. I am submitting it for there use at their discretion."
  • Include a picture if you so wish in .jpg or .gif format and a brief description of yourself.

Send in your stories, poems, etc. to


Large In Charge

Fashion Furious

BBW/BHM Fashion of the Month

     We all hate how the Fashion Industry is just scratching the surface when it comes to Large Sized Fashion.  But I have found out that many clothing stores and online companies are beginning to take up the slack.  Creative BBW, SSBBW and BHM's are making there own clothing or mix matching and finding basic everyday wear and night club wear. 

     Making it affordable is what can be hard so showcase your wonderful finds here.  If your a regular shopper, sew your own clothing or a designer showcase your clothing here by submitting a picture for Fashion Furious of the month.


Fashion Furious of the Month

How to send in your Fashion Find. Send a Clear Picture as an attachment

and use the Format Below to describe your Fashion Furious picture.

Email to Raqui:


Fashion Find by: Raqui

Fashion Type: Clearance Collection SALE King Sized

Why I Like this Item: You cant go wrong with buy one get one free.  Ladies you might find a few items here also :)



King Size -




Send in your Fashion Furious Picture and Details to

Large In Charge

Product of the Month!

What is good for Big Sized Bodies


    A very important and necessary part of LargeInCharge.  Find out what is helpful for big bodies.  Keep your self straight with some of our tips and tricks. Find out what other Big Sized people use to keep themselves smelling, feeling, looking, and living a proper life.  What kind of products are allowed. Anything that deal with the body. From cleaning aids to soap, lotions, powder, healing aids etc.  anything that can help a big body!

NOTE: The Opinion of those who submit items are not professional.  They are everyday people who found something that worked for them.  We are not held responsible for there opinion - The Large in Charge Staff

Send your favorite Item to be Product of the Month - Follow format below, include a picture of product (most can be found online) and Send to

Product of the Month

About the Product

Recommender: Raqui

Name of Product:
Shower Chair from Home Care

Type of Product: Shower Chair

Cost of Product: $99.99

Where Product can be found:


Premium shower chair is designed for function and style

The Premium Shower Chair from Home Care® by Moen® has a designer look for those who want function and style. It features an innovative wide-leg design with slip-free rubber feet for superior stability. Rubber-grip handles offer added ease and support when sitting or standing. Chair adjusts from 15" to 21" high, and has a comfortable, reinforced mesh seat with a mold-resistant finish that's easy to clean. Ergonomically designed back offers optimal support. Included shower basket and shower head holder keep necessities close at hand. Supports up to 400 lbs. 19 3/4" width fits most showers and tubs.

  • Ergonomically designed back for optimal support
  • Comfortable mesh seat
  • Slip-free rubber feet
  • Meets ADA specifications

    Why I like this Product:
    For a very affordable price this Shower chair can support up to 400lbs it has a great look and seems to be one of the best I seen so far.  My only complaint might be the holes in the seat I am not sure how that would feel against someone's booty.



    Send in your Product recommendation to

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