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Large In Charge Magazine - Five Years on the Net!

 Issue #69 - December 2009

Welcome to LargeInCharge Magazine

In this Issue of L.I.C.



Raqui's Spot -  with our Founder Raqui


Big Girls on the Red Carpet  ~ Cher Rue


From the Plus Side ~ Emily Smiltneck

Good 4 U Food  ~ Xander


DID YOU KNOW?  ~ Iolande Argent

National & International Plus Sized News


Hot & Heavy Entertainment ~ Stephanie Baham


The Big GB My Gastric Bypass Memoirs - Soyna Bennett


CONFESSIONS - Let It Go and Confess!

Fashion Furious - Fashion Finds with Plus Size style.

Product of the Month - Products for People of Size


LargeInChargeDating - Dating for the Large People who are going to be in Charge of their Love Lives!


LargeInCharge Friends - The Place for Big People to make Friends and maybe MUCH MORE!

Feature of the Month

Plus Sized Christmas


Plus Sized Christmas

By: Raqui


     It's that time of year again, with the Holiday season comes so many things.  Gift giving, family visits, travel and more.  This year many people are trying to find that affordable perfect present to give and no one wants to give someone something they wont use or that will not fit. 


     This year as usually Raqui is giving you 10 ideas for giving gifts to the Plus Sized person or friend you love.  Hope this helps you on your journey for Holiday gift giving. 


SUPER TIP! - Make it EASY:  Gift Giving is so much easier when you do this one simple thing.  MAKE A WISHLIST.  If you need clothes go to a online store and make a wishlist.  If you need house wares, personal items, makeup, shoes, books, ETC.  Find a online store and make a wishlist. (They are free to make)  Let your friends know that you have one and this way everyone will know that you are happy with what your getting.


Gift Idea #  1 - Clothing - One of the hardest things to do is buy a plus sized person clothing when you have no idea of their size.  Some good questions to ask is where do they buy clothes from and what size.  take a look at the clothes they own, when you have time if you can.


NOTE:  The easy way to go about this is to ask where they shop for clothing and see if that store has gift cards or certificates.  Most online and offline stores have this option.


Gift Idea #  2 - VISA CASH CARD - Don't know what to give, give cash, allow them to buy whatever they want online or offline with the VISA CASH GIFT CARD.  It is simple and always accepted ANYWHERE! - VISA CASH CARD


Gift Idea #  3 - Movie Tickets - Many people don't think about this but if you got someone who LOVES to go to the movies why not go to customer service and buy prepaid movie tickets that are good for a year. This way they can enjoy your present whenever they wish.


Gift Idea #  4 - Restaurant Certificates/Gift Card You cant lose when you treat your friend to a dinner at there favorite restaurant. They can use it whenever they are craving some good food and a night out and away from the stove.


Gift Idea #  5 - Gift Basket - There are so many different types of gift baskets out there now, Body and Bath baskets, Cookie baskets, Fruit ones, Cheese and Meat, Chocolate, the list goes on.  Sending someone a beautifully made basket can really make Holiday time special.


Gift Idea #  6 - Personalize It - Regular gifts are wonderful but do you want to make it a bit special? What would be better than buying a personalized gift?  Engraved with the name or initials of the person your getting it for. You can do a search online in any search engine and put Personalized Gifts.  You will come up with a ton of sites that can give you affordable options.


Gift Idea #  7 - Home Spa Products - great gift ideas are personal home spa products, and don't think men don't like to get in the act also.  I know many men who are starting to get into self maintenance and who love to look good. Machines that help you do your own at home, manicures, pedicure, heated wax etc.  Are cool products to give someone.  They are also easy to find online or in any Walgreen's, Rite Aide and CVS. You will find them on sale and you can never go wrong, these items should be replaced with time so out with the old and in with the new.


Gift Idea #  8 - Books - For both Male and Females books or gift cards to a online or offline book shop are a big plus. So if you have a reader or student on your hands, this is a perfect gift.


Gift Idea #  9 - Sweets for the Sweet - Know a sugar addict who cant have any? Don't leave them out of the sweetness for the holiday's. With all the options for sugar free and low sugar candy out there you will be amazed at the taste and availability.  Many companies have gift baskets with all sugar free options.


Gift Idea # 10 - For the Plus Sized by the Plus Sized - Many of us don't think about the fact that many plus sized people are trying to cater to our community. When you buy present any time of the year especially now. Why not go to the plus sized companies who are catering to us.  By helping them not only are you supporting your plus sized community but you are also giving a quality product to your friends, plus sized or not.  Look to the left and check out the Vegas Bash 2008 coverage, in these video's you will see just a few of the plus sized people who create amazing products for us.

Merry Christmas!!!



Thank you for Reading The LargeInCharge Feature

Please send thoughts and comments to


Cover Model of the Month


Vote for our Cover Model of the Year!

Enter to be a 2010 Cover Model

Issue #60 - March 2009

Issue #61 - April 2009

Issue #62 - May 2009

Issue #63 - June 2009

Issue #64 - July 2009

Issue #65 - August 2009

Issue #66 - September 2009

Issue #67 - October 2009

Issue #68 - November 2009


Cover Model Sponsors

     Our wonderful Sponsors make it possible to give prizes to our Cover Model of the Year.  I encourage you to visit and purchase and support these generous companies. What will our Cover Model of the Year Win?

     This Years Sponsors are:  More to be listed soon

Enter to be a 2010 Cover Model


Want to be a LargeInCharge Cover Model?

     It has been almost six years since LargeInCharge opened its online doors to the Big World.  We started with 740 readers March 2004.  We have built up to over 800,000 readers a month.  We have continuously given the Big World article after article.  Fashion tips and clothing companies.   Hot events and self esteem advice. Interesting information and cool products.  We have changed, grown and become better.  Online Magazine's are the big now, doing better than physical paper magazines.  Any successful magazine must have an online presence.  LargeInCharge has been leading the way for the Plus Sized Commuity.


     Now with our fifth annual Cover Model Search taking place we are beaming with pride.  LargeInCharge keeps our entrance to be a cover model free by using photographs that the person submits for our covers. We don’t ask for an entry or submission fee from our models.  All we ask for is clear good photographs that would be considered portfolio type of pictures. At the end of the year we have a voting for the public and name one of them Cover Model of the Year he or she wins prizes and possibly money from our sponsors depending on what our sponsors give that year.


     Being a LargeInCharge cover model can be a great add on to your comp card or resume.  It can also be a feather in the cap of aspiring models.  So many beautiful and handsome big men and women who are not professional models can now be featured where they will be appreciated.  NO MORE SIZE18 or 2XL ONLY MODELS.  AGE DOESN'T MATTER.  NO MORE FETISH ONLY PICTURES. We like them professional and in all sizes INCLUDING SUPER SIZED.  There are no limits with us.




NOTICE - Follow the Directions carefully, if you have a question you can email me and ask before you send in your entry.  Any Entries that are not sent in properly will be thrown out. Take the time to send in your entry properly.

Raqui does not Guide, Help, Preview, Custom Pick Photos of any model or submission. It is unfair to all applicants. All Males and Females are free to enter and encouraged to submit according to guidelines. - Thank you

Send In the following - You must send at least two of each.

  • One or more Head shot Black & White / Color - in your modeling attire
  • One or more Full body shot Black & White / Color - in your modeling attire

NOTE: the more pictures you send it the better for us.

Type of pictures

  • Digital or scanned pictures only
  • The Picture must represent you in your Current State
  • Pictures must be of one person, no group shots.
  • Pictures of Big Males and Females only.
  • Pictures must be clear with no watermarks. (EXCEPTION: photographers watermark)
  • Pictures cannot be smaller than 300 DPI, 800 x 600 pixels
  • Pictures must be tasteful and fully clothed - Swimsuit and tasteful lingerie is allowed.
  • Nude is not allowed unless it is artistic.  No private areas shown.
  • If your pictures are professionally done be sure to have permission from the photographer.


Cell Phone Camera Images

Pictures with distracting backgrounds  - example: clutter

Webcam pictures

Pictures with Multiple people or with multiple people in the background

Poor lighting or photo shopped edited images

Images that do not meet the size requirement.


Pictures are well lit, clear and centered, background is clear and natural, proper size.

You are free to browse our past cover models to get an idea of what we are looking for.



Picture Categories - You can send in pictures for any of the below categories

  • Professional - done by photographer
  • Winter - Winter wear, coats etc. and Seasonal type of clothing, costumes and colors.  Winter backgrounds scenes
  • Spring - Spring wear, sweaters etc. bright, airy, wind blown. Spring backgrounds scenes
  • Summer - Swimsuits, wraps, summer dresses. Summer background scenes
  • Fall - Fall colors and sweaters.  Earthy natural settings. Fall Colors.
  • Ethnic - Ethnic prints and colors.  Ethnic combinations of fabric and prints.  Jewelry
  • Business - Suite and tie. City backgrounds
  • Sporty - Sports clothing of all types. participating in sports. Jogging, walking, basketball, football, Skating. Etc
  • Exercise - In exercise outfits, gym scene etc.
  • Gothic - Gothic clothing and costumes etc.





DOWNLOAD the following text file read and complete and send along with your pictures.



What will I receive if I am picked to be a 2010 Cover Model

  • You will be interviewed for the Month you appear as our Cover Model, appear on the cover and remain in our database.
  • You will be entered in our Yearly Cover Model contest to win a Trophy and Prizes at the end of the year.  You will also be featured as COVER MODEL OF THE YEAR for the New Years February edition. You will be required to update us with pictures and a statement.

Thanks for reading about our

Cover Model of the Month

Raqui's Spot

     Raqui the Owner and Founder of LargeInCharge Magazine.  This spot is dedicated to her thoughts, vents, and observations of Plus Sized Life.  Raqui's  "Tell it like it is" style of writing has brought thousands to her blogs and millions to  There is so much behind the woman who has brought this magazine into existence.  Being Internationally known as a wrestler/squasher lead the way to modeling for companies and being featured in magazines and documentaries from all over the world.  She has made a career out of her size and personality. Born, Raised and Residing in the Bronx NYC. This city girl is taking the world by storm.


     For the past 5 years Raqui officially moved into Size Acceptance and Empowerment.  With the creation of LargeInCharge she took what she said to individuals to a higher level and made it public to the internet world. She is a woman who doesn't let things get to her.  Knock her down for the moment but she will rise up stronger and better.  Being a speaker on behalf of many subjects and counseling Plus Sized people online her grace and style has made people love her.  Raqui continues to set an example of a powerful woman who will bend the world to fit her, her way.


     Raqui's appearances include, Uk Television, German TV, Japan, Europe, Sweden and the Spanish circuit.  Her many magazines appearances have been world wide.  She has hit American Television in 2006 with Good Morning American and since has appeared on The Cristina Show,  The Maury Show and The Tyra Banks Show.

To view her Online portfolio visit

Raqui feature on and Glamour Plus - go to Portfolio Section

Plus Sized Woman Rock The Stage

Written By: Raqui 


     These Two Plus Sized Woman who are not only older than the average entertainer who is out there now a days,  but as some have outright said, They are UNATTRACTIVE.  I cant see it because they SHINE more beautiful and any Super Model.  They make me so proud because they faced everyone and showed you should not judge a book by its cover.  Talent is not given out to those with a socially acceptable face and body, but to everyone from everywhere and we should be grateful for it.


One (Susan Boyle) from Britain's Popular Show "Britain's Got Talent" and the other (Kari Callin)from the American Version "America's Got Talent"  Each one received Snickers and sly looks from the Judges and Audience.  You could tell that the population believed it was going to be a horrible performance and they would hear boo's and a LOUD BUZZ and see big bright X's that would vote them off stage.   Then these ladies open there mouths and you hear an angel sing.  Suddenly their looks didn't matter the feeling that overcame you from the powerful voices each had is felt so strongly.


I share with you this month two amazing women



Susan Boyle - Britain's Got Talent  CD Released for November





Kari Callin - America's Got Talent -






LargeInCharge Radio - Weekly Radio show discussing Plus Sized Issues.  Friday's 7-9 pm EST - Call in & Chat in our Chat Room.

Raqui's Cool Links  

Raqui's My Space Page

Raqui's Yahoo 360 Page

Thank you for Reading Raqui's Spot

Please send thoughts and comments to

Super Sized Sounds



     Super Sized Sounds will be a Music Column that will feature those who are in the industry or up and coming who are size positive. Giving rect width="560" height="340">on to the plus sized people who are out there and showcasing themselves.  Reviews, Interview, News and more from our new writer Super Sized Spanishfly Lynx.


      Lynx Garcia, also known as "SUPERSIZE SPANISHFLY", is a Latina BBW from Queens NYC.  Lynx is an activist speaking out against size discrimination and began performing back in 1996 at social events for big beautiful women and big handsome males and their admirers. Her special mixture of sound held true as she sang, spat, danced and performed spoken word, soon she was in demand by Big and Beautiful parties nationwide.  Lynx taking her "look" and sound mainstream was rejected because of her size. She did not let this break her spirit, hurt her confidence or minimize her drive. Instead she rose up and started a public access show (LYNX' LAIR) aired in Queens on TIME WARNER QPTV . Combination of comedy and sexy style, she showcased underground artists of all walks of life. The response to her show was less than a year she has showcased many artist, some who moved to bigger and better things.


     Currently Lynx has caught the attention of Joey Mekkah of BLACK SOLARIS ENTERTAINMENT and found herself on the Grandmaster MELLE MEL's SOLO ALBUM "MUSCLES" featured on the hot latin hip-hop track called 'DIMELO", she is the only collaboration on the album. Lynx recently has started her own radio show on EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO.COM  called Ladies Night. EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO is #1 on the itunes network.





My people, mi gente...  Whoo I am stuffed from all the Halloween treats (love my vegan carrot cake!). The leaves are falling down all around us, is it a sign to let gold of dead weight? Hmmm, I got something for everyone this month begining with





Got your fix for a love thang right here...AMERIE Ft. FABOLOUS "MORE THAN LOVE"

     Download: HERE

And for those of you who like it THICKE...ROBIN THICKE that is ,here is his new sexxy joint

"Sex Therapy" I could use some right now!


And this is for anyone who has ever been left "STRANDED" from Your Boy MARIO


And this one right here, is for all of us who try to swear something or someone off, you tell yourself it's for "THE LAST TIME" by FABOLOUS Ft. TREY SONGZ

     Download: HERE


Come Out And Enjoy A Great Show And Say Hi For I will Be Supporting This Show, You Never Know Which Show I will Be At Hit Me Up and Let me know send me an email at SUPERSIZESPANISHFLY@GMAIL.COM

elaine del valle,brownsville bred,one woman show
This autobiographical show takes the audience through an "emotional rollercoaster" that is uplifting, heartbreaking and powerful as they witness Del Valle recreate life in the tough projects of 1980's Brownsville, Brooklyn NY. Amongst eight other characters, Del Valle narrates as herself from ages 11 to 17. Del Valle's loving father, another empathetic character, leaves the family of five as he falls from stature as a talented musician to a defeated heroine addict. Not unlike most impoverished families, Elaine's mother emerges as the loveable spirit that holds the family together and guides them to a hopeful future.
Crime, Drugs and Poverty mix with the Joys of Family, Hope, Salsa and the Birth of Rap, as Del Valle's innocence recounts a journey to womanhood, a neighborhoods crack & crime epidemic, Salsa rumbas, and her love of Run DMC, which often times help her verbalize a unique struggle and triumph that has audiences cheering and laughing through their tears while swaying to urban rhythms.
When: Every Monday in November 2009 (2, 9, 16, 23 & 30) @7:30pm
Where: Nuyorican Poets Cafe
236 East 3rd Street
(between Avenues B & C)
New York, NY 10009
MTA: F train, 2nd Ave.
Phone: (212) 505-8183
Run Time: 70 Minutes.
1 ten minute Intermission.
Tickets: General Admission: $15. (on-line guaranteed seats)
Door Discounts: $10 for Students, Seniors and Flyer (1st come,1st serve)
Bar: Wine/Beer, No Drink Minimum
To Purchase tickets on line go to

Want to send in your Voice in for review? Are you a singer, rapper, or poet who performs spoken word?  Up and Coming, already established?  Contact Lynx through her Myspace page or email and all information will be forwarded to her (PUT "FOR LYNX" IN THE SUBJECT AREA) 

You must be a Size Positive Artist, or a Plus Sized Supporter.

Thanks for reading

Super Sized Sounds with Lynx


Lynx Cool Links

From the Plus Side


Emily Smiltneck

     From the Plus side will be column dedicated to short stories that deal with all aspects of Plus size Life.  Emily Smiltneck was chosen for this position because of her dedication, and realistic writing style. She captures the emotional and mental rollercoaster those who are Plus Sized go through.


     Emily Susanne Smiltneck lives in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan (pretty much dead center in the middle of nowhere). She is a substitute teacher, and has recently started a tutoring business. Emily is currently working on several writing projects, including a historical fiction novel and several collections of poetry.

Emily Smiltneck receives recognition in Neighbors Daily Press - See article below


     It is a great joy when our fellow Plus Sized people receive recognition for their life's work.  Join me in this Joyous moment when one of our LargeInCharge writers is seen for her contribution and great dedication to her goals in life.  Click the images above to read the article about our dear Emily. When the page open click on the article to zoom in and read it.


The Adventures of Phatgurl

by Emily Suzanne Smiltneck  

The Adventures Of Phatgurl is a serial collection of stories about the adventures of Jany, a plus-sized young woman who, in desperation, places an ad on a personals website.  As she embarks on her dates, she meets many different kinds of men who expect many different things from her.  Some of her adventures are wildly amusing and others are more serious and even sad. 

If you have any ideas or experiences, funny or otherwise, that you would like to see depicted in a future Phatgurl story, please e-mail me at  I will do my very best to incorporate all reader ideas into future columns.  Thanks!


The Ad (Part 2)

SWSSBBW seeks SM who will not rape her, emotionally or otherwise.  The ability to both speak and write in complete sentences is a plus.  Must not inadvertently throw her down stairs or pretend that she is “Mama.”  Intelligent conversation, a little respect, and the lack of a current significant other will get you far.  And a well-developed sense of humor won’t hurt, either.  If you like smart chicks with jelly bellies and thunder thighs, reply to


Candidate 2.6: The Disappearing Act



Subject: hiya


i liked ur ad n thought u might like to get together sometime.  u gotta pic?




Subject: Re: hiya


Well, you never know.  I just might like to get together sometime.  My name is Jany, I work in an art gallery, I like to paint, read, and surf the web, and hope to some day teach art.  See attached picture for more information. ;) How ‘bout tellin’ me more about you?




Subject: Re: Re: hiya


yea i do that stuff 2 but mostly i like 2 spend time with the ladeez.  private time, if u get my drift.  don’t get me wrong, i like 2 go out and have a good time but the end of the night is the real reward.  here’s a pic of me.




Subject: Re: Re: Re:  hiya


You “do that stuff 2”?  As in, you work in an art gallery, paint, read, etc.?  Cool… don’t quite believe you, though.  I think you’re just working on scoring some private time.  FYI, it isn’t an easy thing to do, with me.  I like to think I’m a little more discriminating than that.  Nice pic, though, and if you want to meet somewhere, in public, I could go for that

                Jany swooped into her apartment and pulled the door shut behind her.  She was feeling good; it was getting easier to look forward to dates now.  She’d had enough good experiences that she was no longer gripped by crippling fear for a day or two beforehand, and prettying herself up was fun now that she sometimes got noticed for it.  She didn’t have high hopes for this date, based on the guy’s e-mails, but the weather was gorgeous—sunny and cool and just starting to feel Christmasy—and she had every intention of enjoying herself. 

                At five to six, she was waiting in the lobby of her building.  This guy—come to think of it, he’d never even given her his name—had insisted on picking her up in a cab.  Probably an attempt to impress her, since he’d already admitted his goal was basically to get her into bed.  It was better than taking the bus, though, so she’d readily agreed.

                At six, there was still no sign of anyone who even vaguely resembled the man in the picture she’d been sent.  In fact, there was no sign of anyone except a lady who lived on the first floor and liked to hang out in the lobby and make conversation with anything she happened to find there, human or not.  Today, she was quietly chatting with a potted plant next to the basement stairs.  Jany decided to go say hi.  It would help pass the time until this guy showed up.  Or until she decided to give up on waiting for him.

                As she approached the old woman, Jany could hear her prattling on about her daughter who lived in California and who would be coming to visit for Christmas.  That was no surprise; ninety percent of her conversations were about her daughter.  The thing that did surprise Jany was that the plant seemed to be muttering back at her.  A quick glance around the corner convinced her that she wasn’t as nuts as the old lady was.  A man was hiding on the other side of the wall—a man who looked just like the man in the picture, except a good ten years older.

                Confusion made Jany bold and blunt.

                “Hey, are you looking for me?  For Jany?”

                The man looked away—not at anything, just away.  Then he looked down toward his feet.

                “Uh—hm—Jany.  Yeah.”

                “Well, hello!  How ya doing?”   Jany reached out to shake his hand, her voice friendly, oozing false warmth.

                “I’m—I’m okay.”

                “Great!  Whatcha doin’ on the basement stairs?”

                “I was just—I was hiding from this old lady.  I didn’t wanna talk to her.”  Even if Jany had believed him, the way he avoided looking at her, and the way his face flushed more with every word, would have made her doubt him.

                “Really?  ‘Cause you were talking to her.  Didn’t work very well.”


                “You were hiding there so you could watch me when I came downstairs, weren’t you?  You wanted to see what I looked like in person so you could decide if you wanted to go out with me before you showed your face.”  For a second, Jany wondered if it was just her old insecurity talking, but she somehow had a feeling she was right.  The man didn’t answer.  The old lady, however, kept right on talking.

                “Are you going to come visit Carol when she’s here?  She’d like you.  She’s a good girl just like you are.  She comes to visit her old mother every year.  Her husband and the children can’t come, but she comes every year.  I so look forward to her visits.”  And on and on.  Jany bit back words of irritation.  She wasn’t in the mood to deal with a crazy lady right now and had an irresistible urge to remind the woman that everyone in the building was well aware that Carol was a lesbian without a husband or child in sight.  And that she hadn’t been to visit in three years because the last time she had, her mother had spent the entire time talking to grandchildren who didn’t exist as they opened Christmas presents that didn’t exist in front of the Christmas tree that didn’t exist.  Carol, heartbroken at her mother’s condition and unable to handle the pressure, had promptly arranged for home health care and a senior companion and then boarded a plane back to California.

                It wasn’t the old lady’s fault she wasn’t aware of the real world, though, any more than it was the old lady’s fault that Jany had made another date with an idiot.

                “Honey?  Why don’t you go back to your apartment?  I think your Meals-On-Wheels lady will be here soon.”  The people in the building were always aware of one another’s business, which is what made it a good place for the old lady to live, and what made Jany feel safe there.  Jany guided the lady down the hall and toward her apartment.

                “Thank you, sweetie.  You know, you remind me so much of my Carol.  She’ll be coming to visit soon.  Her husband and the children can’t make it, but—”  She continued as Jany patted her on the shoulder, gently shoved her in the direction of her apartment door, and returned to the stairwell.

                “So, what?” she asked the man who was still standing there, staring around the wall.  “You decide to send me a picture of yourself from ten or twenty years ago, and then you don’t believe that I’m any more honest than you are so you figure you should spy on me to see if I’m what you really want?”

                “Well, it’s just.  You.  Yes.  And you seem very young.”

                “That’s because, unlike you, I told the truth about my age.  I am very young, compared to you.  Maybe you should be a little more honest next time.”

                “Everyone lies in those ads.  How was I supposed to know I found the only honest person in the city?”  The guy’s voice was whiny and defensive.  “And you know what?  You’re a little fatter than I like anyway!”  He pushed Jany back from the edge of the stairs and stormed out of the building and into a waiting taxi.

                Jany leaned on the wall, stunned.  She was supposed to be the one who was righteous and condescending in this situation, not the dishonest nincompoop of a man she’d almost gone out with.  And she’d thought she looked pretty good today, too.  Life wasn’t fair.  Every decent man she met thought she was either too fat or not fat enough.  Slowly, she walked toward the elevator, tears stinging her eyes.

                The phone was ringing as she unlocked the door to her apartment and Jany looked at the caller ID, not really intending to answer.  Except, it was Michael.


                “Hello, there.  You okay?”

                “Yeah.  Well, not really, but I will be.”

                “I was on a conference call and all of a sudden you popped into my head, so as soon as the call was over, I called you.  I thought maybe there was something going on.”

                “Your psychic abilities strike again.”

                “You don’t sound good.  What’s up?”

                “Not a damn thing.  Same ol’, same ol’.  Was supposed to go out with this guy and I found him hiding in the lobby, waiting to see if I met his expectations.  I didn’t.  Never mind that he was ten or fifteen years older than he told me he was and kind of an asshole to boot.”

                “Babe, don’t let it get you down.  You are beautiful and strong and anyone who tells you anything else doesn’t know you.”

                “Yeah, whatever.  I’m either too fat or too thin for every decent man I meet.”

                “Who was the last guy who said you were too fat?”

                “I—well, I mean—no one’s really said it to me.  But no one ever asks me out or anything, either, other than the guys I meet on Personalz, so that’s sort of telling me I’m too fat, now, isn’t it?”

                “So you’re telling me that all the men that exist everywhere in the world that have never asked you out have decided you’re too fat.”

                “Not the ones I haven’t met.”

                “You’re being slightly unrealistic, darling.  How many have said you’re too thin?”

                “That one guy that took me to the plus-sized club wanted me to be his feedee.”

                “And who else?”

                Jany didn’t answer.


                “Urgh!  Can’t you ever just let me feel sorry for myself?”

                “Nope.  Won’t get you anywhere.  Now tell me that you’re hot.”


                “No one else is gonna think you’re hot if you don’t think so.  So say it.”

                “Yeah, right.  I’m just going to say, ‘Hey, I’m hot,’ and then every guy in the world is gonna fall at my feet.”

                “Not what I said.  But if you don’t think you’re worth anything, guys pick up on that.  We’ve talked about this before.  Guys are scared of women and their emotions.  It’s much easier to approach someone who looks approachable.  If you’re all gloomy and starin’ at the sidewalk, a guy’s not gonna start a conversation.  There’s too much chance of rejection.  But if you’re all confident and making eye contact and smiling, then a guy might have the guts to give it a shot.  So say it.”

                “I’m not going to say it.  People just don’t go around saying things like that about themselves.”

                “Do it.”

                “Fine.  I’m hot.”  Jany felt her face flush.  She giggled.

                “Okay, good.  Now say it like you mean it, and without the insecure little giggle at the end.  Repeat after me: ‘I’m hot.  I am hot.’”

                Jany giggled one more time, then cleared her throat.

                “I’m hot,” she whispered.  “I am hot.”

                “What?  Didn’t hear you.  Louder.”

                “Come on, I said it.  I’m not going to say it again.  It’s silly.  I can think I’m the hottest piece of ass in the world and if no one else agrees with me, it doesn’t mean a thing except that I’m also arrogant and delusional.”

                “That’s not true and I think you know that.  Hey, I have to go.  A client’s on the other line and we have some stuff to work out.  But next time we talk, we’re gonna do this again.  Say it often enough and you’ll believe it.  Be ready.  Bye.”


                Jany was still flushed.  The whole positive affirmation thing seemed weird and awkward.  It seemed even weirder that it should be so hard to say something positive about her appearance, though, even to someone she trusted as much as she trusted Michael.  Why should it be so hard?  There was no law that said she had to believe she was ugly.  It was ridiculous!

                Jany went to the mirror and checked herself out again.  She still thought she looked pretty good, even if the stupid guy in the stairwell thought she was too fat.  It was too nice out to spend the day sitting inside and feeling sorry for herself.  She grabbed her purse and coat.

                She got off the bus downtown and slowly walked along the crowded sidewalk.  The window displays were brightly lit and breathtakingly beautiful.  The throngs of people around her were talking and laughing joyously and there was a feeling of excitement surrounding them all.  Jany couldn’t help but smile.  Christmas was in the air, and the gaiety was contagious.

                She walked beyond the busy shops and toward the park.  It was just beginning to get dark, and the city lights glowed in the dusky sky.  The skating rink in the park was filled with skaters: young parents and their small children, teenagers holding hands, groups of giggling girls skating in long chains and huddles of boys who were too cool to skate and instead stood on the edge of the rink, balanced precariously on their ice skates, keeping a careful eye on the girls and pushing one another around.  Music poured out of speakers above.  Jany suddenly felt as if she’s never seen anything more beautiful in her entire life, and that she’d never been more beautiful in her entire life.  It was one of those rare moments when it seems like every single thing is right in the world.

                Jany had to capture the moment.  She dropped onto a park bench that nearly froze her backside as soon as she made contact and pulled a pencil and her sketchbook from her purse.  Drawing wasn’t her strong suit, but it would do to help her remember what to paint.  She scribbled lines and arcs and shadings on the page, jotting down a few words to help her with color when she painted the scene.  It all seemed like something out of a dream.

                When Jany looked up again, it was fully dark and the stars were twinkling above the city.  She took a moment to look around and feel the aura of the park.  Maybe it was Michael’s phone call, or maybe it was the magic of the glittering ice rink in the park.  Maybe it was just the feeling of Christmas in the air.  Whatever it was, Jany felt like absolutely anything was possible.  Of course she would find love.  Of course she would settle down with someone, have a family, be surrounded by loved ones for the rest of her life.  In a world this perfect, only good things could be possible.

                And then, out of the corner of her eye, she saw a man on the next park bench over.  He was looking down toward the sidewalk, but his face tipped to the side and he studied her for just a few seconds before he caught her eye and looked away.  Jany’s breath quickened.  Had he really been looking at her.  Like, looking at her?  As she watched him, he looked again.  This time, his face flushed before he looked away, but he didn’t stand up and disappear like most guys did if they caught Jany looking at them.  In fact, he glanced her way one more time.

                Jany sat up a little straighter, tossed her hair back over her shoulder.  It was the first time she had ever noticed, or thought she had noticed, anyway, a man who was just a member of the general public checking her out.  Usually, it was only men who advertised on Personalz, men who only liked her because she was fat, that were interested.  If this guy was interested, that is.  Jany wondered if she had the courage to approach him. 

                Of course she didn’t.  Girls like Jany, plain and unattractive and shy, didn’t do things like that.  But it was Christmastime, in the most beautiful park in the world in the heart of a beautiful city.  Anything was possible.  Jany approached the man.

                “Hi,” she said quietly, barely glancing up from the sidewalk.  “I—I saw you sitting over here and—well, I don’t know.  Something made me want to come say hi.”

                The man looked up at her, almost shyly.  Then a smile brightened his face.

                “Hey.  I—um, I noticed you, too.  I wanted to come say hi, but I’m just not very good at that sort of thing.”

                “Yeah, me either.  Mind if I sit down?”

                He shook his head and scooted over.  Jany sat.  Now that she was here, she had no idea what to say next, but it felt like every cell in her body was jumping up and down and clapping its hands in celebration of her bravery.  She struggled to breathe, even though she thought that worldly things like oxygen might not be very important in this moment.

                “I’m Haroon,” the man finally said.  “What is your name?”

                Jany.  It’s nice to meet you.”

                “You, too.  It is getting cold out here, isn’t it?  I just like to watch all the lights and hear the music.”

                “Yeah, I know what you mean.  I was trying to sketch it all before, but my fingers were so cold I could hardly feel them.  It’s so beautiful I don’t want to leave, though.”

                “Would you like to go into the coffee shop over there?  I will buy you a drink.”

                Jany almost turned him down.  She couldn’t just go off with a guy, she needed time to prepare, to get past the nerves, to make herself presentable.  But he was already looking at her, seeing her the way she was now, and he wanted to buy her a drink.  If she said no, she might never see him again.  He was well-dressed and dark-skinned and attractive, and he was kind, and he liked her.  Jany swallowed hard before she answered.

                “Yes, I’d like that.  Thank you.”


Thanks for reading

From the Plus Side with Emily Smiltneck


Emily's Cool Links

Good 4 U Food

Recipes for Good... Healthy Food

By: Xander - The Food Dude


Feeding All of Us

by Xander The Food Dude

I’ve had time lately to think about some of the things which I would consider to valuable in my life.  Recent events have happened in such a way that laying there, staring at the ceiling have been a big part of the days, which after a while some interesting things happened.

Stage One – Recovery

Lying in Bed for 5-6 days recovering from surgery, there was a massive amount of pain medication induced sleeping.   During this time, very few coherent thoughts with the exception of “water”, and “pain”.  There was not a lot of work done, well, to be honest….. none.

Stage Two – Realization

The body naturally fights immobility.  For that matter so does the spirit.  It is at this point we face the reality that unless we get moving, the pain will never end and besides my butt hurts from laying here so long.  That first move toward sitting and standing gives you plenty of cause to think….. “Holy Crap !! This was stupid”, at which point shear will moves you a little further forward.  Ok, now you sitting up and a bit more alert and suddenly you realize, there aren’t any goldfish bowls in the immediate area.  Honest to God, that IS what I was thinking.  After a while you start thinking about all the stuff that isn’t in the immediate area which you think would make your life easier.  First, you can’t get to it and second, you’re wrong anyway.

Stage Three – Recreation, or lack thereof…. 

It’s odd to note that when we can’t be doing what we want, we get BORED !!  There are only so many toys in the world and we don’t them all.  What I saw from my own experience is that I can’t turn off my brain.  It always felt like it was running, sometime slower, sometimes faster, but always running.  With out need input, the brain gets bored and then after its bored, it get sleepy. 

Stage Four – Realization, Part Two 

I once read that the hardest thing for a person to do was to sit quietly in an empty room and focus on nothing.  I always thought that was stupid.  Yeah, there WERE right.  Try it sometime, you won’t last 20 minutes without needing something to happen.  Your brain, when faced with a lack of stimulation, will create its own… it causes a sneeze or a yawn, or an itch… literally anything to focus you 

Stage Five – The Truth

So after two weeks of torture and recovery, I can tell you some truth.  Some for me anyway.  After two weeks and starting back to work slowly, I find myself overwhelmed by the amount of stimuli in the every point of my life.  I got used to the quiet time, not for sleeping, but rather for focusing on one thing, be that my breathing or the sound of the fan running, anything to create a connection for my brain to focus while I thought about thinking of nothing.

In the end, I guess I can honestly say that (from my personal experience) we waste a lot of time focusing on (for lack of a better word) crap.  Most of our thoughts focus around irrelevant things, while it takes us from being able to see the relevant.

This holiday season, give yourself a great gift in sitting in the quiet space.  Take the time to look inward and find yourself.  All too often we tend to lose ourselves because there isn’t time or money, or whatever reason that we use to excuse our thoughts and behaviors.

I’m hoping, that you’ll experience some of what I did.  The sheer nature of a quiet moment is enough to focus you and relax you, but you have to take it from the world.  The benefit you might ask ?  As I recuperate, I feel like there is more of me.  More is would seem that there is “enough” of me to go around to those thing I want to do and help others.

My hope is that if I continue to grow in this fashion that I can finally see a bigger piece of the road and how my life fits on it, with myself and with others.  It would seem that the more I feed myself in the right ways, I can help feed others as well.  I invite all of you to take a big bite and truly see what you are and can become in the year ahead.

Happy Holiday and May God Bless all of you…. Until 2010…

Xander's Recipe of the Month


Pumpkin Pudding Parfaits

Santa (and Everyone) loves this Dessert



3/4 Cup Cold Milk
1 Package (3.4 ounces) instant pudding mix
2 Cups Whipped Topping
1 Cup canned or cooked pumpkin
1/2 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
1 ½ Cups Crushed Gingersnaps
Additional Whipped Topping

Use any flavor pudding you like
Optional: 1 Cup Chopped Nuts of Your Choice
In a mixing bowl, beat milk and pudding mix on low speed for 2 minutes.
Stir in whipped topping, pumpkin pie and pumpkin pie spice. Mix very well for a good distribution of flavors. If you want to add nuts this is the time, put them in now. Spoon half of the mixture in to dishes/glasses of your selection. Top with gingersnap mixture. Add another layer of the mixture. Top with gingersnap pieces. Make as many layers as you want. On the last layer, top with gingersnaps and more whipped topping to finish. This makes enough for 6 average size servings.


Thank you for Reading Good Food 4U

By Xander the Food Dude

Please send thoughts and comments to

Big Girls on the Red Carpet


Cher Rue is an actress, writer and producer. Starting out with writing "Dear Cher" she knew she loved helping other people. Being plus size all her life this was where she knew her calling was.

Cher was seen on "Dr.Phil, "Good Morning America", "Entertainment Tonight", "Russian, British, Japanese, and Viet Vietnamese Television". Also a documentary filmed at the Las Vegas Bash on the Travel channel, and Current TV, a online station, with numerous radio interviews talking about size acceptance.
You can also see a recurring show "Secret Lives of Women" seen on the We channel "Women's entertainment".

Cher was recently in a new movie "Forever Plaid" coming out soon.

Cher is now involved with mainstream "Hollywood" and charity events showing that beauty comes in all sizes
it is what is inside that counts.

Cher has always loved seeing others happy and helping others to find their inner self and beauty.
Ten years ago, she found the plus size community and she knew this is where she would focus on helping others who were like her and had some of her experiences and pain that she went through.

Miss Plus Top Mode Awards Show 2010
Article by: Cher Rue 

     Once again it was time for the Miss Plus Top Model Awards show. This was the 5th year anniversary of seeing the beautiful plus size ladies strut their stuff with loads of confidence. 

     Ten lovely ladies walked the cat walk, with big smiles, big hopes, and big dreams of becoming this year’s winner. Last year’s winner Queanna Rey Feather was on hand to pass down the crown in her beautiful gown.

     This year’s first scene was “Angels Sweet Dreams, Fashions by Tamichi.  Second scene was Casual Day, designs by Scene three was Paparazzi, fashions by  Marie Denee , the  Curvy Fashionista.

This was such a fun scene with the hair and make- up artists on stage with the girls.

     Entertainment for the event was Lyric, singing all about big girls and as he sang I looked around and noticed just how engaging he was with the audience, they loved the songs and him.

     The Crowning of MISS PLUS TOP MODEL 2010 was the highlight  and the surprise on the 3 winners faces was amazing. The first Queen was Melissa Fosse, a perky, humble and beautiful girl who rocked the runway! Two other winners were Sareena Stevenson, Regan Carrington.





Thanks for reading Big Girls on the Red Carpet

Hot & Heavy Entertainment


     Stephanie Baham is a native of Los Angeles, CA and now resides in the San Francisco area. She's a 38 year old professional who has long enjoyed the craft of writing. Her other interests include film, theatre, yoga, dancing, literature and politics. Stephanie holds a Bachelor's degree from Cal State University, Long Beach in Theatre Arts. She is currently working towards her degree in Psychology.


2009 - Was it Mighty Fine?

with Stephanie Baham

Hello readers.  Every month I search for a performer, television show, or a movie to write about.  This month I decided to sit back and look at the entertainment industry as a whole.  I decided to look at the past year to see how far we've come in the entertainment industry. What have been some highlights from the past year? What was good? What was bad?


When I think of 2009, I think of reality shows. I think of More To Love, The Naughty Kitchen, Dance Your Ass Off, Biggest Loser & other various "weight loss" shows.  I've never viewed reality shows as anything but pure entertainment...not something that moves a culture or group forward.  But at least we have seemed to crack the reality show glass ceiling. Especially with More To Love.  A lot of people complained about this show. They complained that the girls weren't big enough, the girls weren't confident enough. that Luke was making out with too many of them and that too many people were crying.  I was one of those complainers (mostly about the crying part). But I knew a reality show on FOX was going to give me plenty to complain about.  I didn't expect some great breakthrough for the plus size community via this television series.  But I guess a lot of other people did.  In the end...I was surprised Luke chose Tali.  But I think he really wanted a wifey type. Unfortunately, he & Tali are no longer together. So I guess that proves love stinks at any size!  On a good note, Tali is going to work on a project that promotes self-esteem & good body image for young girls.

I hear a lot of buzz about Disney's new animated feature, The Princess and The Frog.  The buzz being that Disney will finally have a black Princess.  I think that's wonderful. Dare we ask for a plus sized Princess?  Should we even care what Disney does? Or would Disney be just the tool to promote positive body images that might inspire young girls (and boys). Most of their larger characters are the comic relief. Which isn't bad...I like comedy.  I just want to see more.

2009 also reminds me of plus sized actors in television shows such as House of Payne, Grey's Anatomy and The Office.  I would like to take this time to confess that I haven't seen MoNique's new talk show. When I heard she was having a new show, I thought it was another sitcom. I thought she was about to top The Parkers. Darn.

I also realized that in 2009 being large still leaves one open to jokes & ridicule.  I think any celebrity is a target for being made fun of about something....but let one of them gain a few pounds and watch the media swarm all over it. I've seen a website that has a photo gallery of the latest celebs that have gained weight. I've been seeing pictures of Mariah Carey all over the tabloids because she apparently gained some weight.  And let us not forget the pictures that came out of Janet Jackson.  And  the biggest media circus over a weight gain would certainly have to be the one around Oprah. Which she induced herself. She made a huge "confession" about gaining 40 lbs.  She dedicated part of her magazine, O, to her "dilemma".  I can't feel too sorry for Oprah if she CHOSE to make some weight gain a huge ordeal. She should've played it like Tyra & said "kiss my big brown ass!" Oh one made a big deal out of her weight gain except her. I hope Oprah finds some peace with her body image.

I think the biggest lesson we have to learn from 2009 is that the plus sized movement in entertainment should focus on quality, not quantity. Just because someone created a reality show where 19 women get rejected does not make it "progress".  But lead roles in good films such as Precious, make for good progression. Let there be more great scripts written for plus sized actors in television, movies and broadway.  Let there be more music, poetry and dance that glorify the plus size frame.  And let us put our energy into supporting these ventures. We have a lot of power as fans & consumers. Let's put our energy in the right direction as well.

Cheers & Happy New Year.
Stephanie Baham



Thanks for reading Hot & Heavy Entertainment

Stephaine's Links:


National and International Plus Size News


     I am a former plus-size model and stage performer. I have written articles that have appeared in local newspapers, college magazines and I was a sports editor for my school newspaper. Currently I have a book coming out in May 08, How to Make a Living Without a Job: the Guide to Professional Temping. It will be available online through Amazon and can be ordered through Barnes & Noble or Borders. I split my time between the Bay Area, CA and Houston, TX.


Naomi Durden, The Model Patient
with Iolande Vitt Argent


In 2004, with good grades at school and dreams of becoming a catwalk model, Naomi Durden was a happy fifteen year-old with her whole life before her. However, her life took a change that no one saw coming.

During a lunch break Naomi suddenly collapsed to the concrete floor. She had suffered a stroke.

"I suddenly felt tense and agitated, then everything when black," Naomi, who is now 20, recalls.

"My friends said my whole body was twitching and fitting. They were absolutely petrified."

Naomi, from Prittlewell, near Southend in Essex, had a clean bill of health up until her stroke.

As strange as it may seem the worst was yet to come for Naomi. When she woke up in hospital, she had no idea she was about to spend a YEAR there.

The doctors told Naomi that she might never walk again, as the paralysis in her left side was deemed permanent.

"I was hooked and wired up to every machine going and I had no feeling in my right arm or leg - it was really frightening," she said.

"My family was all around me and my hospital phone was ringing every five minutes with worried friends bursting into tears.

The nightmare was compounded when an ultrasound produced even worse news for Naomi and her family.

Naomi had a 1cm hole in her heart which doctors feared could have sparked her seizure.

"It was like a nightmare I just couldn't wake from."

Luckily for Naomi, her mother, Anita is a nurse and her brother Tim, then 17, was studying sports science and biology. They would be the calming forces in the family during this ordeal.

"Over the following months my family remained positive throughout my experience, which gave me the right mental attitude. Every single night Tim and I would sit and will each of my toes to move. I knew I would be able to make myself walk."

Within six months Naomi had recovered enough to take her school exams. She managed seven passes despite having no time to study.

But while that was an amazing achievement there were still hurdles coming up. She now had a different problem to battle with - her weight.

While the slender teenager had her heart set on a modeling career, the hospital-bound Naomi had ballooned to a size twenty and felt self-conscious and miserable.

"I was on medication that affected my glands and the way I burned fat," she recanted.

"I couldn't even move while my side was paralyzed and I comfort ate too. I woke up one morning and realized I was overweight, unhappy and frightened - modeling seemed a distant dream."

To make matters worse she was in an unhealthy relationship with a young man she’d met just prior to her stroke.

"My boyfriend, who I met just before the stroke, was very controlling. It was a very unhealthy relationship. He'd come round with crisps and chocolate to 'make me feel better', but in truth he was very jealous and wanted to make sure I didn't meet anyone else.”

It wasn't until the beginning of 2008 that Naomi, who was working as a customer services officer for her local government, realized her relationship problems.

Naomi split with her previous partner and met new love interest, Darren, at work.

"He changed my life completely. After everything I had been through - I needed someone to support me in every way - and he is perfect."

Now thanks to Darren's love of healthy cooking and the gym in her parents' garden, 20-year-old Naomi managed to slim down to a size 16. She is back to a clean bill of health and has rediscovered her modeling dream.

"A friend sent me details of the Britain's Next Plus-Size Model and after what I had been through, I thought: 'Why not?'"

Naomi sent off four recent shots in December 2008 to Just As Beautiful Magazine, who were hosting the competition a few months later.

After weeks of not hearing anything, Naomi assumed she hadn't got through and got on with her life.

"Just after Christmas, I got email saying I was through to the final and had beaten 500 other girls, I was speechless."

Naomi would compete against 12 other plus-size models in various catwalk shows and interviews in a bid to be named Britain's Next Plus-Size Model.

On the day of the final, so many of her supporters showed up at the event - held at Champney's resort, Forest Mere - that they made up most of the audience.

"I felt so bad for the some of the other girls," she said. "Some of them had no family with them, so I got the Durdens to cheer them on as well!"

While Naomi didn't scoop the winning prize, the experience has been the ultimate dream ending to her previous living nightmare.

She adds: "I thought I would be worrying about my wobbly arms and tummy, but as soon as I stepped out on the catwalk, I felt beautiful. When I found out I hadn't won, it didn't affect me like it did the other girls - they were crying in the toilets or storming off home, while I went and cheered when the winner claimed her prize - I was genuinely pleased for her.”

For Naomi, the experience wasn't about winning. The fact that she stood on that stage was proof that the unachievable could be achieved.

The best new is that Naomi's modeling dreams are still very much alive. The better news, she has no plans to slim down.

"I love food and drink and although I'm a lot healthier now, I'd never give it up!

"I wouldn't want to get any smaller than a size 12-14. I am a curvy girl, and that's the way I like it."

For more information on Britain's Next Plus-Size Model, visit


Thanks for reading Did You Know

The Big GB

My Gastric Bypass Memoirs

Sonya L. Bennett, (also known as “Truthfulblkwoman”) is a 38 year old, black female, single with no children living in Detroit, Michigan.  She is the youngest of a set of fraternal female twins, with a older sister.  Sonya lives with being the larger twin, and discovered people always presumed that they would look alike in SOME way... Even though fraternal twins don't necessarily look alike.  Always being the heavier of the two, people (family, associates, friends) were quick to point it out. She grew to realize an outer appearance is what people judge you on initially.  As a college-educated freelance court stenographer, it never occurred to her that size would prohibit her from receiving work.  In the legal world, the “eye candy” usually didn’t fill UP the corner.

In 2007, Sonya was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes; a generational curse that she had prayed to avoid, but didn’t worry about while she piled butter pecan ice cream on her German Chocolate Cake.    Only a few months into this diagnosis, she woke up one morning unable to walk and in excruciating pain in her left foot.  Doctors finally diagnosed an acute tendonitis, exacerbated by uncontrolled diabetes.  That was the wake-up call, She had suffered for years with high cholesterol and sleep apnea; all associated with her weight,  it wasn’t until this happened (wheelchair bound for a month and on crutches following that) did she tell herself "I have to do something about my weight."  On April 17, 2008, Sonya had the gastric bypass medical weight loss procedure and it was the best decision that she made for herself.  In these upcoming writings, Sonya invites you to learn the ups and downs of gastric bypass: through the eyes of one who lives it every day.


Moving To Solid Foods

with Sonya Bennett

 Babies begin with liquids: breast milk, formula; standard ways to get their nourishment while their tummies grow stronger and they’re able to digest more solid food.  This process is similar: though I have teeth and have clearly grown to the point where I am able to eat full meals, however, at this point – four weeks after the surgery -- I’m ready to go to the next stage of nourishment.: soft foods.

It never fails that the things that we think are simple, we take for granted.  I scrambled one egg and it took me a half hour to slowly eat it and it was the best thing I’ve ever had in, what feels like, a year since I’ve chewed.  I wanted chicken noodle soup: chicken broth is great, but those tiny pieces of chicken and soft noodles just add something to it.   Since my egg stayed down without incident, I warmed up a can of soup and had a small portion of it for lunch.  It was the BEST; I ate it slowly and did not have the gas and indigestion from the previous turkey sausage and barbeque that I sampled before.

The soft food stage was to last a duration of two weeks, as the liquid stage did.  I gradually built myself up to yogurt, grits, scrambled eggs, chicken noodle soup yogurt-smoothie-type drinks.  I returned to the doctor and have lost 50 pounds seven weeks after the surgery.   I can still wear my regular clothes (size 30/32) but they are sagging off of me.  Since it’s summer, I’m able to get by with t-shirts and shorts.  I’m walking more every day now and the pain from the gas has gone away.  My incisions have healed and the tape that covered them have come off naturally.  It’s amazing that the three, small, laser “slits” are barely visible, especially as my stomach is getting smaller. 

Join me next month as I return to work; the cafeteria, the abundant snacks and the temptations around my workplace.



Thanks for reading

The Big GB - My Gastric Bypass Memoirs

Sonya's Links:

Sonya Bennett on Facebook


Time to tell it like it is!


     This is an experiment in Confession, you can anonymously confess, or let everyone know something that you feel.  Every Month we will post all the confessions and you can come and view them and be inspired to make your own.


     You can send in a picture,  You can make a graphic,  You can just send in your written words.  You can do it anonymously and get something off your chest.  You can let everyone know who you are and liberate yourself.


     Hope you enjoy Confession!  Send in your own check the bottom of this page!





I hated myself all my life...  My parents told me if I didn't lose weight I will never have respect.

Now that they are dead and I am all alone I see things differently. The only ones who didn't respect me were them.





I am a liar. I hate my size. I don't know what to do. Am I supposed to be proud? Or am I supposed to be thin?





Before I said: She means everything to me and I cant figure out what is wrong with me. 

Why does her size make me stay away.  It wasn't her size it was me.





I am so tired of people talking about how great they are and that there size wont stop them. 

If you really believed it you wouldn't have to say it all the time.




Send in your own Confession,  Use the email to the Right and send in a your confession, weather it is a graphic you made (NO BIGGER THAN 5x7 92 DPI) or a picture you saw.  You can also just send in text words.  Your Confession can be Anonymous or you can tell everyone who you are.

Send in your Confession NOW!

Thanks for reading Confession

Send in your Confession to


Large In Charge Guest Spot

We want to hear and see your talents!


One of our favorite parts of the Magazine.  The Guest Spot is for our readers to submit there talents to be viewed.  We want to see all you wonderful supporters making moves of your own.  If you write poetry, short stories, commentaries, or just thoughts in general, please submit them to us.  If your a designer we want to see pictures of your clothing.   We would love to include your talents in our newsletter.  We hope you take an active part in the L.I.C. newsletter. Send in your article, poetry, comments to -

NOTE: The Opinion of the writer is not always the opinion of The Large in Charge Staff.  We support the Right to all views.  We do not Condemn or Approve writing based on our personal thoughts.  We approve writing based on if the subject is a concern for the BBW / SSBBW / BHM Community.  Thank you for your writing and please send in those articles!  - The Large in Charge Staff

Guest Writer


Written By: Darliene Howell

I used to have a great deal of respect for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), until PETA as an organization has chosen to stigmatize a large portion of our population through their "Lose the Blubber" billboard campaign in Jacksonville, Florida.

If a child in school were to do what PETA is doing, their behavior would be called bullying for acting in an overbearing and/or intimidating manner. When has being a bully EVER been acceptable? It is not. This behavior and this billboard is NOT acceptable. How is this ethical treatment of human beings?

PETA's automated response to people that have had the courage of their convictions to tell them how this campaign demoralizes and demeans them, was "We apologize for any offense we may have caused; that was not our intent." (Too late!) And that "...we think it would be cruel not to tell people about the health benefits of going vegetarian." Oh! So it's being done out of concern for our health and that gives them the right to humiliate us? Is this their brand of ETHICAL TREATMENT?

The message goes on to talk about vegetarian living and how we wouldn't be obese and unhealthy if we stopped eating meat. Interesting, since I was a Vegan for a couple of years during my younger years and did not find that I lost any weight as a result. Okay, so I was still obese but I MUST have been healthier, according to their assertion. Hmmmm... Sounds a little like we could be healthy and still be fat? Does that mean that PETA believes in Health at Every Size (HAES)? Doubtful!

After all of this, they have the audacity to ask for a donation!

In a press release from the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance (NAAFA), they send a clear message that "Stigmatization does not work!" and that "This campaign's sole purpose is to bring PETA's animal rights agenda to the public discussion at the expense of an entire segment of the American population." I absolutely agree. They have received LOTS of media attention and letters of protest as a result of this campaign.

I'm very proud of all of the people that have stood up for themselves and others by writing to PETA in protest. If you would like to express your disappointment in their tactics and tell them that stigmatizing fat people is not acceptable, please send an email to

I've also had a number of friends who are animal lovers, that have supported PETA in the past, tell me they will no longer do so because of the way they have handled this advertising campaign. This may be the very best way to handle things. Hit them below the belt... the money belt, that is. There are many, many nonprofit organizations out there vying for our charitable-giving dollar. PETA will NOT be one of my choices.

For more information on Health at Every Size (HAES),


To read NAAFA's full press release,

"Message to PETA: Stigmatization Does Not Work!",

go to  or



Interested in applying for a writers position?


     Send in the information below along with a clear photograph of yourself and one complete article at least 300 words.  Please make sure your article is matching the position your applying for.  If you are a versatile writer and applying for more than one position send in one article for each position.


     Any submissions maybe be used in the magazine as a guest article or other wise if you do not receive a position.  If you are picked for a position it will be used as a back up for your column in case of emergency.


I want to Apply for a Writers Position:


My Name is:

My email address is:

My Phone Number is:

My location/address is:

The position I am applying for is:


Here is my article:


I am allowing LargeInCharge to use my image and article as they see fit.  By typing my name and date I understand that I agree to the above.   NAME/DATE


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Thank you

Send in your Work to Appear in LargeInCharge

We love our guest writers, they help us to make LargeInCharge more personal and reader friendly place.  We bring the people words from there own peers.  If you always wanted to write but never knew what to do with your thoughts and opinions.  Send them in to us we love to feature you in our guest spot.


What type of entries do we accept?

  • Original Articles that have not been placed in publication.

  • Size Empowerment Stories

  • Discovery of Size Acceptance

  • Romance of Large Size

  • Poetry - at least 25 lines in length

  • Complaints about Society

  • Complaints about what is provided for Big People

  • Complaints about Health Care

  • Weight Loss Surgery Experiences

  • Dealing with Doctors

  • The Joy of being Big

  • Learning to Love yourself

  • etc.

How to Submit my Article for review?

  • Check your article for spelling and correct format, We do not edit articles.
  • Attach your article either in Word, Text Format, or in the Body of your email.
  • In your email send your Real Name, E-mail and Address (state, location).
  • Under your Name and Address include date, and the line. "I give and there owners, permission to use my written article. I am submitting it for there use at their discretion."
  • Include a picture if you so wish in .jpg or .gif format and a brief description of yourself.

Send in your stories, poems, etc. to


Large In Charge

Fashion Furious

BBW/BHM Fashion of the Month

     We all hate how the Fashion Industry is just scratching the surface when it comes to Large Sized Fashion.  But I have found out that many clothing stores and online companies are beginning to take up the slack.  Creative BBW, SSBBW and BHM's are making there own clothing or mix matching and finding basic everyday wear and night club wear. 

     Making it affordable is what can be hard so showcase your wonderful finds here.  If your a regular shopper, sew your own clothing or a designer showcase your clothing here by submitting a picture for Fashion Furious of the month.


Fashion Furious of the Month

How to send in your Fashion Find. Send a Clear Picture as an attachment

and use the Format Below to describe your Fashion Furious picture.

Email to Raqui:

Fashion Find by: Raqui

Fashion Type: @ IGIGI

Why I Like this Item: New Arrivals to make the holidays very INTERESTING :)  These items and much more!







Send in your Fashion Furious Picture and Details to

Large In Charge

Product of the Month!

What is good for Big Sized Bodies


    A very important and necessary part of LargeInCharge.  Find out what is helpful for big bodies.  Keep your self straight with some of our tips and tricks. Find out what other Big Sized people use to keep themselves smelling, feeling, looking, and living a proper life.  What kind of products are allowed. Anything that deal with the body. From cleaning aids to soap, lotions, powder, healing aids etc.  anything that can help a big body!

NOTE: The Opinion of those who submit items are not professional.  They are everyday people who found something that worked for them.  We are not held responsible for there opinion - The Large in Charge Staff

Send your favorite Item to be Product of the Month - Follow format below, include a picture of product (most can be found online) and Send to

Product of the Month

About the Product

Recommender: Lady Trixxster

Name of Product: Chaffing Gel

Type of Product: Body Product

Cost of Product: $7.00 - 10.00

Where Product can be found:
Any DrugstoreRiteAide Walmart, Walgreens Etc.



Why I like this Product:
Great for Plus Sized people to use between legs, in creases, under belly and breasts. Leave a smooth powdered feeling behind.



Send in your Product recommendation to

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