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LargeInCharge Magazine - Six Years on the Net!

 Issue #70 - January 2010

Welcome to LargeInCharge Magazine

In this Issue of L.I.C.



Raqui's Spot -  with our Founder Raqui


Big Girls on the Red Carpet  ~ Cher Rue


From the Plus Side ~ Emily Smiltneck

Good 4 U Food  ~ Xander


DID YOU KNOW?  ~ Iolande Argent

National & International Plus Sized News


Hot & Heavy Entertainment ~ Stephanie Baham


The Big GB My Gastric Bypass Memoirs - Soyna Bennett


CONFESSIONS - Let It Go and Confess!

Fashion Furious - Fashion Finds with Plus Size style.

Product of the Month - Products for People of Size


LargeInChargeDating - Dating for the Large People who are going to be in Charge of their Love Lives!


LargeInCharge Friends - The Place for Big People to make Friends and maybe MUCH MORE!

Feature of the Month

Writers Search for 2010


Want to be a LargeInCharge Writer?

By: Raqui




Looking for new Writers for 2010



About Our Writers Search:

     LargeInCharge is looking for Volunteer Writers for our Online Magazine.  We are looking for Males and Females who wants to write about issues that concern large people.  We need people who will be dedicated to writing columns or doing an interview once a month in a timely manner.  You do not need to be a professional writer,  Good writing, and typing skills, the ability to spell check, understand grammar and have your article sent in on time is what we are looking for.


     We want to bring the voice of the people to the people.  Give them something they can related to and enjoy on a monthly basis.


    LargeInCharge is a non-profit Online magazine which is why we are asking for Volunteer's.  This is a great opportunity to brush up on your writing skills and learn different writing styles.


NOTICE:  This is not a responsibility to be taken lightly.  You must be able to hand in one article on time monthly for a period of at least 12 months.  If you wish to continue after 12 months then you may stay if your track record is good.


We are looking for writers for the following Positions.

  • A Big Man's World - a writer who will write about living life as a Big Man in this Society.

  • Product Review - Someone to search for and find products that are beneficial for plus sized people.

  • Make- up, Medicine and Body - External to internal make your body feel and look great!

  • All Natural - Natural Remedies that help the body be blanced.

  • Fashion Find - Someone to search for and find Fashions and sales.

  • Inspiration - Inspirational stories, interviews and articles on loving yourself as is.

  • Plus Sized Entertainment - Interesting Plus Sized people on TV and in theater.


Would you like to be a writer? Apply following the directions below.


     Send in the information below along with a clear photograph of yourself and one complete article at least 350 words.  Please make sure your article is matching the position your applying for.  If you are a versatile writer and applying for more than one position send in one article for each position.


     Any submissions maybe be used in the magazine as a guest article or other wise if you do not receive a position.  If you are picked for a position it will be used as a back up for your column in case of emergency.


I want to Apply for a Writers Position:


My Name is:

My email address is:

My Phone Number is:

My location/address is:

The position I am applying for is:


Here is my article:


I am allowing LargeInCharge to use my image and article as they see fit.  By typing my name and date I understand that I agree to the above.   NAME/DATE


Send to:


Thank you

Happy New Year!!!



Thank you for Reading The LargeInCharge Feature

Please send thoughts and comments to


Cover Model of the Month


Vote for our Cover Model of the Year!

Enter to be a 2010 Cover Model

Issue #60 - March 2009

Issue #61 - April 2009

Issue #62 - May 2009

Issue #63 - June 2009

Issue #64 - July 2009

Issue #65 - August 2009

Issue #66 - September 2009

Issue #67 - October 2009

Issue #68 - November 2009


Cover Model Sponsors

     Our wonderful Sponsors make it possible to give prizes to our Cover Model of the Year.  I encourage you to visit and purchase and support these generous companies. What will our Cover Model of the Year Win?

     This Years Sponsors are:  More to be listed soon

Enter to be a 2010 Cover Model


Want to be a LargeInCharge Cover Model?

     It has been almost six years since LargeInCharge opened its online doors to the Big World.  We started with 740 readers March 2004.  We have built up to over 800,000 readers a month.  We have continuously given the Big World article after article.  Fashion tips and clothing companies.   Hot events and self esteem advice. Interesting information and cool products.  We have changed, grown and become better.  Online Magazine's are the big now, doing better than physical paper magazines.  Any successful magazine must have an online presence.  LargeInCharge has been leading the way for the Plus Sized Commuity.


     Now with our fifth annual Cover Model Search taking place we are beaming with pride.  LargeInCharge keeps our entrance to be a cover model free by using photographs that the person submits for our covers. We don’t ask for an entry or submission fee from our models.  All we ask for is clear good photographs that would be considered portfolio type of pictures. At the end of the year we have a voting for the public and name one of them Cover Model of the Year he or she wins prizes and possibly money from our sponsors depending on what our sponsors give that year.


     Being a LargeInCharge cover model can be a great add on to your comp card or resume.  It can also be a feather in the cap of aspiring models.  So many beautiful and handsome big men and women who are not professional models can now be featured where they will be appreciated.  NO MORE SIZE18 or 2XL ONLY MODELS.  AGE DOESN'T MATTER.  NO MORE FETISH ONLY PICTURES. We like them professional and in all sizes INCLUDING SUPER SIZED.  There are no limits with us.




NOTICE - Follow the Directions carefully, if you have a question you can email me and ask before you send in your entry.  Any Entries that are not sent in properly will be thrown out. Take the time to send in your entry properly.

Raqui does not Guide, Help, Preview, Custom Pick Photos of any model or submission. It is unfair to all applicants. All Males and Females are free to enter and encouraged to submit according to guidelines. - Thank you

Send In the following - You must send at least two of each.

  • One or more Head shot Black & White / Color - in your modeling attire
  • One or more Full body shot Black & White / Color - in your modeling attire

NOTE: the more pictures you send it the better for us.

Type of pictures

  • Digital or scanned pictures only
  • The Picture must represent you in your Current State
  • Pictures must be of one person, no group shots.
  • Pictures of Big Males and Females only.
  • Pictures must be clear with no watermarks. (EXCEPTION: photographers watermark)
  • Pictures cannot be smaller than 300 DPI, 800 x 600 pixels
  • Pictures must be tasteful and fully clothed - Swimsuit and tasteful lingerie is allowed.
  • Nude is not allowed unless it is artistic.  No private areas shown.
  • If your pictures are professionally done be sure to have permission from the photographer.


Cell Phone Camera Images

Pictures with distracting backgrounds  - example: clutter

Webcam pictures

Pictures with Multiple people or with multiple people in the background

Poor lighting or photo shopped edited images

Images that do not meet the size requirement.


Pictures are well lit, clear and centered, background is clear and natural, proper size.

You are free to browse our past cover models to get an idea of what we are looking for.



Picture Categories - You can send in pictures for any of the below categories

  • Professional - done by photographer
  • Winter - Winter wear, coats etc. and Seasonal type of clothing, costumes and colors.  Winter backgrounds scenes
  • Spring - Spring wear, sweaters etc. bright, airy, wind blown. Spring backgrounds scenes
  • Summer - Swimsuits, wraps, summer dresses. Summer background scenes
  • Fall - Fall colors and sweaters.  Earthy natural settings. Fall Colors.
  • Ethnic - Ethnic prints and colors.  Ethnic combinations of fabric and prints.  Jewelry
  • Business - Suite and tie. City backgrounds
  • Sporty - Sports clothing of all types. participating in sports. Jogging, walking, basketball, football, Skating. Etc
  • Exercise - In exercise outfits, gym scene etc.
  • Gothic - Gothic clothing and costumes etc.





DOWNLOAD the following text file read and complete and send along with your pictures.



What will I receive if I am picked to be a 2010 Cover Model

  • You will be interviewed for the Month you appear as our Cover Model, appear on the cover and remain in our database.
  • You will be entered in our Yearly Cover Model contest to win a Trophy and Prizes at the end of the year.  You will also be featured as COVER MODEL OF THE YEAR for the New Years February edition. You will be required to update us with pictures and a statement.

Thanks for reading about our

Cover Model of the Month

Raqui's Spot

     Raqui the Owner and Founder of LargeInCharge Magazine.  This spot is dedicated to her thoughts, vents, and observations of Plus Sized Life.  Raqui's  "Tell it like it is" style of writing has brought thousands to her blogs and millions to  There is so much behind the woman who has brought this magazine into existence.  Being Internationally known as a wrestler/squasher lead the way to modeling for companies and being featured in magazines and documentaries from all over the world.  She has made a career out of her size and personality. Born, Raised and Residing in the Bronx NYC. This city girl is taking the world by storm.


     For the past 6 years Raqui officially moved into Size Acceptance and Empowerment.  With the creation of LargeInCharge she took what she said to individuals to a higher level and made it public to the internet world. She is a woman who doesn't let things get to her.  Knock her down for the moment but she will rise up stronger and better.  Being a speaker on behalf of many subjects and counseling Plus Sized people online her grace and style has made people love her.  Raqui continues to set an example of a powerful woman who will bend the world to fit her, her way.


     Raqui's appearances include, Uk Television, German TV, Japan, Europe, Sweden and the Spanish circuit.  Her many magazines appearances have been world wide.  She has hit American Television in 2006 with Good Morning American and since has appeared on The Cristina Show,  The Maury Show and The Tyra Banks Show.

To view her Online portfolio visit

Raqui feature on and Glamour Plus - go to Portfolio Section

New Year New Life

Written By: Raqui 


     It's a New Year and I have dedicated myself to a New Life.  My Mantra for the New Year is - In 2010 my Life Begins Again! Many times we find that we have built up people in our own minds.  Because of the emotions we feel, the obligations of friendly and love, the consideration we have for others.


     How many times do we look back on those relationships and realize that the love we have and the time invested is not returned.  All because we didn't read the warning signs and we thought we had a special connection with someone and it didn't really exist, but in our mind and hearts.  Yet others were happy to take at our expense and not give a thought about the emotional hurt we feel, when time passes, and we come to the conclusion, that we just were not important to the people we loved so dearly.


     Some will call it selfish but to me it is common sense to invest my love and time on those who not only want it, need it, but appreciate it and give in return.  So my dedication is to myself this year.  To live a new life keeping close only those who care about me as much as I care about them.  Who can dedicate themselves to a relationship that is mutually rewarding and cherished. Whether it is a friendship, a love interest, or family member.  If you are not a positive influence in my life then you are negative and need to be removed.


It is a New Year and a New Life.  I want to make it count.



NEW YEAR NEW LIFE - Now it is to late to make it up!

To the People I thought were friends: I see that it was all conditional and you were friendly because it was convenient. Your heart toward me was limited when mine wasn't.

Its a New Year you had your Chance - Now it is to late to make it up!
I now reject you because I am busy accepting myself and taking care of me.

To the ones who claimed to support me: When the sun was setting and I felt like hardship was just to much. Instead of supporting me you cast a shadow upon me to drown me in darkness.

Its a New Year you had your Chance - Now it is to late to make it up!
I now reject you because I am busy accepting myself and taking care of me.

To the Men who tried to Claim me: Your advances were weak, your words untrue, Did you actually think I was stupid enough to end up with you?

Its a New Year you had your Chance - Now it is to late to make it up!
I now reject you because I am busy accepting myself and taking care of me.

To those who Betrayed me: You have taken my goodness and twisted it trying to slander my name. Your colors are seen so clearly but still you try to defend yourself, go ahead keep acting the same.

Its a New Year you had your Chance - Now it is to late to make it up!
I now reject you because I am busy accepting myself and taking care of me.

To Loves Lost: You were not a rock to lean upon you were a boulder trying to drag me down. I may have been your fool but now who is the fool? You all have lost the one thing others would have given their life for, A loving dedicated mate who was pure of heart, with every action and emotion. I may have learned, but I didn't lose in losing you.

Its a New Year you had your Chance - Now it is to late to make it up!
I now reject you because I am busy accepting myself and taking care of me.

To those who claimed to know me: But who really only saw what you imagined. Then tried to blame me for a heart that is dedicated to myself. When you wanted me to be who you wanted, and only cared about what you wanted from me.

Its a New Year you had your Chance - Now it is to late to make it up!
I now reject you because I am busy accepting myself and taking care of me.

To the Traitors: Who stood falsely by my side and talked behind my back. Who act surprised when I don't acknowledge you any longer.

Its a New Year you had your Chance - Now it is to late to make it up!
I now reject you because I am busy accepting myself and taking care of me.



You are not even worth a memory. I will remember instead my soul which was pure and true and the marvelous dedication I gave to each one of you.

If you happen upon these words and feel a certain way. It is your guilty heart that beats crossly for which you have to pray

And NO I am not thinking of you. I am thinking of me and moving toward a better day.

And to the Few who surround me: Who were true and real and who somehow melded together with me until there is no me or you but we. To those who shared their life with me so closely and soon we began to live it as one.

You are my Treasures, You are my Pleasures, You are my Smiles!
You are my Happiness, You are the Best of Me, I will give my Best to You!

I am glad to find you, I am glad we crossed paths, I am glad to start my New Life with You.
Happy 2010 - Our Lives Begin Again!

LargeInCharge Radio - Weekly Radio show discussing Plus Sized Issues.  Friday's 7-9 pm EST - Call in & Chat in our Chat Room.

Raqui's Cool Links  

Raqui's My Space Page

Thank you for Reading Raqui's Spot

Please send thoughts and comments to

Super Sized Sounds




     Super Sized Sounds will be a Music Column that will feature those who are in the industry or up and coming who are size positive. Giving recognition to the plus sized people who are out there and showcasing themselves.  Reviews, Interview, News and more from our new writer Super Sized Spanishfly Lynx.


      Lynx Garcia, also known as "SUPERSIZE SPANISHFLY", is a Latina BBW from Queens NYC.  Lynx is an activist speaking out against size discrimination and began performing back in 1996 at social events for big beautiful women and big handsome males and their admirers. Her special mixture of sound held true as she sang, spat, danced and performed spoken word, soon she was in demand by Big and Beautiful parties nationwide.  Lynx taking her "look" and sound mainstream was rejected because of her size. She did not let this break her spirit, hurt her confidence or minimize her drive. Instead she rose up and started a public access show (LYNX' LAIR) aired in Queens on TIME WARNER QPTV . Combination of comedy and sexy style, she showcased underground artists of all walks of life. The response to her show was less than a year she has showcased many artist, some who moved to bigger and better things.


     Currently Lynx has caught the attention of Joey Mekkah of BLACK SOLARIS ENTERTAINMENT and found herself on the Grandmaster MELLE MEL's SOLO ALBUM "MUSCLES" featured on the hot latin hip-hop track called 'DIMELO", she is the only collaboration on the album. Lynx recently has started her own radio show on EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO.COM  called Ladies Night. EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO is #1 on the itunes network.





Happy Happy New Year .....2010 is here and in honor of the new decade approaching I decided to give you musical INSPIRATION!. I hope they find a way to soothe your souls and give you all hope for a better tomorrow. And as usual I will provide you all with a new featured artist and a must see events to attend and classes etc.

I am also announcing that as of this day I will be taking a break from submitting articles to LargeInCharge till sometime in the spring. I would like to take this moment to thank you all for following my music column and for sending me so much love and positive energy. I send it right back to you and look forward to bringing you new fresh style and hot music and celebrity interviews (via youtube..oh yeah!) Time to gather resources and strength, wishing you all health, wealth and wellness from the inside out. Viva Gorditas!-

Special side note to Queen Raqui: "Thank you my sister for creating this positive platform for the people of our plus, full-figured and supersize community. Thank you for offering me the opportunity to utilize this platform to do what I love most...share music and pieces of myself, but mostly Raqui.  thank you for being my friend, for always lending an ear and for offering the best advice and for being five times more human than anyone I know with five loving hearts to match. I do love you Queen Raqui. Much success, till I return be well my friend."

ENIGMA "Return To Innocence"-sometimes we have to go backwards and reflect and go back to the beginning of ourselves and experience a spiritual rebirth, may God as you understand God ,The Most High to be fill your paths with love and light.

Michael Jackson "Man In The Mirror"- Before we can change the world we have to look at ourselves and inside ourselves and begin the change from within. Michael Jackson's !989 Grammy performance was that of one who is possessed. Haunts me till this day.

U2-"In The Name Of Love"-isn't everything we do in the name of love. Fight for love, live for love, open your hearts and receive love in your life! Whether it works out or not you will grow from the experience.

DIANA ROSS- "Do You Know Where You're Going To?"- Amazing how one simple question can make you assess your life, your history your place in the universe

WHITNEY HOUSTON- "The Greatest Love Of All"- when you love yourself all is possible.


Featured Artist Audio Submission: Our BBW sista CARMELINA featured in The Bollywood Movie "QURBAAN" here is her song "Starride To Heaven"



Featured Artist Video Submission from BBW Admirer and Supporter: SUPA NOVA SLOM "Purify Or Die" "So Sick So Sick of being sick and tired!" Wepa... Pura Vida! Pure Life... energy... loving the message, not preachy but right on time. He loves us fuller gals and we love him back! Can he tickle us with his feathers? I'm just saying.. lol... enjoy the yummy eye candy! Be inspired to be well... it's about being here longer. healthy at any size.

Be sure to look out for our homie Nova on Bill Cosby Presents "The Cosnarati" State Of Emergency - Hip=Hop album (support positive music) available on itunes
Also look out for his book 2010 "The Remedy" and join his social network at 


I have been hearing so much about this play, I am happy to announce I am finally going to see it! Won't you join me...hit me up and let me know if you're attending so we can say hi!



EXCITING UPCOMING WORKSHOP: Ooh Whee, this one is definitely interesting. My dear friend world renowned artist LILO KINNE will be conducting TANTRA workshops. I will be attending as well. Reasonable rates people of all colors ,shapes and sizes welcome!



Please call for information: 1 (646) 500 9820 (let her know Lynx Garcia sent you for reasonable rate)

LILO KINNE practices TANTRA which TRANSFORMS SEX INTO LOVE-MAKING. The experiences attained through the UNIFICATION OF SPIRIT, MIND & BODY are magnificent.






Want to send in your Voice in for review? Are you a singer, rapper, or poet who performs spoken word?  Up and Coming, already established?  Contact Lynx through her Myspace page or email and all information will be forwarded to her (PUT "FOR LYNX" IN THE SUBJECT AREA) 

You must be a Size Positive Artist, or a Plus Sized Supporter.

Thanks for reading

Super Sized Sounds with Lynx


Lynx Cool Links

From the Plus Side


Emily Smiltneck

     From the Plus side will be column dedicated to short stories that deal with all aspects of Plus size Life.  Emily Smiltneck was chosen for this position because of her dedication, and realistic writing style. She captures the emotional and mental rollercoaster those who are Plus Sized go through.


     Emily Susanne Smiltneck lives in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan (pretty much dead center in the middle of nowhere). She is a substitute teacher, and has recently started a tutoring business. Emily is currently working on several writing projects, including a historical fiction novel and several collections of poetry.

Emily Smiltneck receives recognition in Neighbors Daily Press - See article below


     It is a great joy when our fellow Plus Sized people receive recognition for their life's work.  Join me in this Joyous moment when one of our LargeInCharge writers is seen for her contribution and great dedication to her goals in life.  Click the images above to read the article about our dear Emily. When the page open click on the article to zoom in and read it.


The Adventures of Phatgurl

by Emily Suzanne Smiltneck  

The Adventures Of Phatgurl is a serial collection of stories about the adventures of Jany, a plus-sized young woman who, in desperation, places an ad on a personals website.  As she embarks on her dates, she meets many different kinds of men who expect many different things from her.  Some of her adventures are wildly amusing and others are more serious and even sad. 

If you have any ideas or experiences, funny or otherwise, that you would like to see depicted in a future Phatgurl story, please e-mail me at  I will do my very best to incorporate all reader ideas into future columns.  Thanks!


The Ad (Part 2)

SWSSBBW seeks SM who will not rape her, emotionally or otherwise.  The ability to both speak and write in complete sentences is a plus.  Must not inadvertently throw her down stairs or pretend that she is “Mama.”  Intelligent conversation, a little respect, and the lack of a current significant other will get you far.  And a well-developed sense of humor won’t hurt, either.  If you like smart chicks with jelly bellies and thunder thighs, reply to


Candidate 2.7: The Jumping Off Point



Subject: Hello, Hun

I saw ur ad & thought u seemed like u would b a fun person.  I was looking thru them 2 c if I could find some1 2 b my date.  There is a group that does dances & stuff for the plus-sized community & they r having 1 next Saturday.  I’ve never gone 2 1 b4.  I’ve always wanted 2, but I don’t want 2 go alone.  Interested? -Sam




Subject: Re: Hello, Hun

Sounds like fun.  We should probably talk a little more first to be sure, but tentatively, yes.  I’d like that.  I’ve attached a pic-if you have one, I’d love to see it.  And tell me a little more about yourself. -Jany




Subject: Re: Re: Hello, Hun

I m a nurse.  & no, I’m not gay, b4 u ask.  I get that a lot.  Other than that, I play a lot of video games and I like comic books.  But I m not a geek, either.  J  I attached a pic 2, but don’t let it scare u off.




Subject: Re: Re: Re: Hello, Hun

Wow.  Um.  Well, I don’t know what to say.  How old are you?  From the hip, urban context of your e-mails, and your interests, and your job, I have to say I was expecting a younger guy.  OK, that probably put you on the defense.  I didn’t mean to.  Age isn’t important to me, I was just surprised.  I like the pic, though.  I work in an art gallery as the assistant to the owner.  I’m into art and books and nerdy things like that.  I’ll tell you more if we end up getting together.




Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Hello, Hun

Sorry.  Should have warned u.  I knew from ur pic that u were a bit younger.  How old r u?  I m 48.  Age doesn’t mean much 2 me tho.  If u still want 2 get 2gether 4 the dance, I’m cool.  U r pretty & seem smart 2, which is a turn-on 4 me.




Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Hello, Hun

I’m a bit younger than you, we’ll just say that.  In the vicinity of two decades younger…lol.  Age isn’t of the greatest importance, though, really, and you seem like a nice guy.  Despite your cryptic abbreviations, you seem pretty intelligent, too.  Where and when is this dance Saturday?  I’ll meet you there.  And FYI, I’ve never been to one of these, either, so it will be a new experience for me.  I did go to a size-positive club once, briefly, but I was SO not ready for it and it weirded me out more than anything else.  I think I’m ready now, though.

            Jany’s cell rang just as she was getting on the bus to head for the dance.  She was afraid to see who the caller was, afraid that maybe it was Sam, calling to cancel their date.  It wasn’t.  Mala’s voice greeted her instead.

            “Hey, girly.  Was just checking in.  You all ready to have a good time at your little dance?” 

            “It isn’t some little dance, Mala.  These things are huge.  I checked it out online.  They’re expecting like five hundred people.  I guess helping fat people find love is big business.”

            “Big business.  That’s funny.  And most of ‘em prob’ly aren’t lookin’ for love, chickie-poo.  If that’s what ya want, don’t let yourself get disappointed.  Sounds like a swinger’s paradise to me.  Anyway, I just wanted to wish you luck.  Still nervous?”

            “Yeah, a little.  It’s just so weird to see a bunch of fat women all in one place, acting like they’re normal.  I mean, it’s good weird, but when I went to that club with the one guy, it got me all upset.  I think because maybe I was jealous that they all felt like they could be normal and I didn’t yet.  But I’m better now.  And I don’t think it’s a swinger’s paradise.  I think you just have a good imagination.”

            “Whatever.  Have a good time, and work that dance floor, bee-yatch!”

            “Yeah, Mala.  Okay.  I’ll talk to ya later.”

            Jany slid her cell phone back into her pocket and leaned against the bus window.  This was the big test.  Jany was used to being overlooked because of her weight, or at least that was what she had always assumed was the issue.  But at this dance, all of the women would be on pretty much equal footing in that area.  So if Jany was overlooked tonight, it would be because of some other flaw, not just her body.  And just maybe she wouldn’t be able to overcome that flaw by looking for people online who appreciated it.

            When Jany’s cell rang a second time, she didn’t think to worry about it.  And of course, this call was from Sam.

            “Hey, Jany.  I gotta problem.”

            “What’s that?”

            “Somethin’ came up.  I’m still plannin’ on goin’ to the dance, but I’m gonna be an hour or so late.  My daughter’s havin’ car trouble and needs to be rescued.”

            “Oh.  Okay.  I mean, that’s fine, I understand.”


            “No.  I couldn’t be mad at you for being there for your daughter.  I’m gonna be lonesome at the dance ‘til you get there, but I’ll live.  Do what ya need to do and give me a call when ya get to the dance.”

            “Okay, thanks.  Have fun without me, but not too much!”

            “You got it.”

            So now she had to walk into the dance by herself.  Alone among strangers.  What if no one talked to her?  Or what if they did talk to her—would she be able to talk back?  Jany sighed.  Here she’d thought she was getting so much better at dealing with social situations and now she was turning right back into her old self.  Not tonight.  Jany vowed that even if she had to fake it, she was going to appear confident and self-assured. 
This was no time for the old Jany to make a reappearance.

            Still, her knees were quaking when she walked up to the door of the hotel where the dance was being held.  She had been inside for only seconds when disaster struck.  The freshly mopped floor inside the hotel was slippery, and Jany’s unsteady knees were no match for it—one foot slipped forward, the other slipped sideways, she scrambled briefly to remain upright, and then she was on her knees on the floor.  Her face burned more than her knees did.

            Jany immediately flashed back to the night that one of her blind dates (Pete?  Paul?  Something like that.) had accidentally thrown her down the stairs.  She pictured the crowd of concerned people around her, gawking and buzzing with questions about her well-being but not bothering to help her up.  That didn’t happen this time, though.  Instead, five or six men came running toward her from all different directions.  One of them, a very attractive one of them, put an arm around her shoulder as another one slipped an arm around her waist.  A third took her hand and they had her on her feet in no time.

            “You okay, darlin’?” someone asked.  Jany giggled nervously as the men all awaited her reply.

            “Yeah, I’m fine.  I—uh, I just like to make an entrance, I guess.”

            Her attempt at humor worked.  They all broke into smiles, took turns wishing her well, and dissipated back into the crowd.  Jany’s cheeks were flushed, but she was smiling.  She may have made a fool of herself, but she’s also managed to talk to several very attractive men before she’d been at the dance for even five minutes.  Men who had seemed happy to talk to her, even to help her.  It was a brand new sensation.  Jany was still not quite up to walking boldly into the ballroom alone, though, so she walked through the lobby as she gathered her courage.  It felt awkward to just walk around looking at people, so she pretended to herself that she was looking for a bathroom.  If anyone asked if she was lost, she’d have an excuse for wandering absently around. 

            When she found a bathroom and ducked inside, she was greeted by a woman standing in front of a mirror in jeans and a bra, her shirt pinned between her knees.

            “Hi, there!” the woman said brightly.  “I hate these things!  SO uncomfortable.  I’m trying to adjust the straps and make it bearable.”  She stopped, leaving the bra dangling loosely over her shoulders, and held a hand out for Jany to shake.  “I’m Cheryl.  And you?”

            Jany hesitantly took the woman’s hand.  A handshake seemed a little formal in this situation.

            “I’m Jany.”

            “You come to these often?  I don’t remember you.”

            “This is my first, actually.”

            “Really?  A virgin?  Wowwwww.”

            “Um, yep.  I guess.  Okay, well, I’ll see you later.”  Time to escape; Jany was more uncomfortable hanging out in the bathroom with a shirtless woman than she was walking into the dance by herself.

            She got the chills as she walked back through the lobby.  The setting was so different than she was used to.  Here, she wasn’t afraid to meet men’s eyes as she passed them.  After all, who knew which of them might like her?  Out in the real world, that never seemed like a possibility.

            Jany bought her ticket and entered the ballroom.  It was dark; only the dance floor, in the center of the room, and the DJ, in front of it, were lit.  The rest of the room was filled with big, round tables.  It was still early, so most of them had only two or three chairs occupied.  Standing against a wall in the back of the room, Jany felt like a highschooler again.  It was just as hard to find the courage to ask anyone if she could sit at their table as t had been back in school.  She told herself that she was being silly, that this wasn’t like that.  These people were all adults, and it was a fat-friendly environment.  No one was going to laugh at her or call her names or deny her a place to sit.  She clenched her fists and approached a table at which only one older woman was sitting.

            “Um, excuse me.  Are these chairs taken?”  Jany’s heart raced as she awaited an answer, fully aware that it was ridiculous to be so afraid of rejection from a woman she didn’t even know.

            “Only that one there,” the woman said.  “Any of the rest of ‘em are yours for the takin’.” 

            Then Cheryl, the woman from the bathroom, swooped into the room and sat in the empty seat.

            “Thanks for savin’ my seat, Janelle!” she said to the other woman, then turned to Jany.  “Fancy meetin’ you here, newbie!”  She spun around to face the next table.  “Hey, everyone!  We got us a newbie!  This is Jany!”  Jany was suddenly surrounded by hands, male and female, reaching out to welcome her.  Names were flying at her so fast she knew she’d never remember any of them.

            As soon as the inundation of introductions slowed, Jany turned around to watch the dance floor.  It was still empty, but a short, wiry man was walking across it.  He caught Jany’s eye, then looked down her entire body and back up again in a way that gave Jany the shivers.  She flushed, but it got much worse when Cheryl fairly screamed, “I think that guy likes ya, Jany!  Didja see ‘im checkin’ ya out?  Wow!  Wish I got checked out like that, but I’m getting’ too old for that shit.  Go get ‘im, tiger!”

            “I—I think I’ll just see if he comes over here,” Jany said.  She needed time to get over her shyness.  And only a few seconds later, he was walking toward her.  Except, he was interrupted by another man who swooped in from the side.

            “Excuse me, but would you like to dance?”

            A hundred fleeting thoughts dashed through Jany’s mind: If I dance with him, he’ll have to touch me; he’ll feel how fat I am.  I don’t really know how to dance.  What if I’m so nervous I trip or something?  What if he starts talking and I don’t know how to respond?  Jany shook her head to stop the thoughts.  Her biggest fear, that this night and this place would be just like every other night and place in her life, had been unfounded.  People really seemed to like her here.  The thought gave her courage.

            “Yes.  I would love to dance.” 

            The man pulled her close as they swayed to the slow song the DJ was playing.  Jany never wanted the song to end; it felt good to have someone’s arms around her.  It felt even better to know that for once, she was one of the chosen ones.  When the song was over, the man escorted Jany back to her seat and excused himself to get a drink.  As soon as he was gone, the wiry man who had been cut off at the pass came over.

            “Dance wit’ me?” he asked.  Jany stood up and followed him to the dance floor.  She danced three more times with three different men before she decided she needed to sit down and catch her breath.  She was trying to follow a conversation between Cheryl and Janelle about a time when they had both been dating some guy named Jared when her phone rang.  She almost laughed out loud.  Jany had been having so much fun that she’d forgotten Sam was going to call.  She went outside to meet him at the door.

            “Hey, there, how’s the dance?” he asked when he found her.  “You look nice.”

            “Thanks.  It’s pretty good.  Come on in.”

            Sam bought his ticket and they made their way to the Cheryl and Janelle’s table.  The short guy was sitting there, too, but when Sam sat down next to Jany, he shrugged his shoulders and wandered away.

            It was hard to talk because the music was loud.  Jany was glad when Sam suggested they dance.  He gave off a vibe that didn’t suit her for some reason, dancing gave her something else to focus on.  Her feelings about Sam did not improve.  She noticed that he never met her eyes and instead always seemed to be looking up into the air over her right shoulder.  He did the same whenever he looked at anyone else.  They were dancing to their third or fourth song when he leaned over and spoke.

            “I’m not really like this, you know.”

            “Uh—not like what?”

            “This.  A nurse.  Working class.  A year ago, I was living in Connecticut in a three million dollar mansion.  I had a Beemer and a yacht and spent every night at some sort of party.  Then I got laid off and had to move back here.  I looked for a job forever and couldn’t find one and I finally decided to go back to school to be a nurse because I found this scholarship thing that would pay my way if I did.  But back in Connecticut, I used to just hand waitresses hundred dollar bills as tips.  I had a custom made Corvette, but I never drove it.  I’d buy every woman I dated a fur coat for our first date, even.”

            He continued talking, but Jany stopped listening.  She didn’t care about his money, and wasn’t sure she believed he’d ever been rich anyway.  And she’d been far more impressed with the fact that he was a nurse than she now was with his attitude about being one.  She noticed another man on the other side of the dance floor.  He was dressed in bright, flashy colors and wore a gigantic grin.  She wished she was with him instead of Sam, because the other guy looked like he was having the time of his life, and Jany imagined that any girl who was there with him would be having the same kind of night.  A little sadly, she turned back to Sam and tried, out of politeness, to pretend she was having fun.  Like she often had before, she felt forced into feigning attraction for a man just because he happened to like her, and because there didn’t seem to be any better options.

            Suddenly, she felt a hand on her elbow.  She turned toward it, half expecting it to be someone she had bumped into as she was dancing, or maybe the short guy again.  Instead, it was the man she had just been admiring.  He didn’t say a word, just gently took her hand in his and led her to the middle of the dance floor. 

            Halfway through the next song, he leaned over.

            “I’m William,” he whispered, “And that guy wasn’t the right one for you.  He was old and boring and you weren’t having any fun.  Have fun with me!”

            Jany glanced toward Sam.  He was already dancing with another girl and didn’t seem very upset at all.  And judging by the look on the girl’s face, he was already sharing the same story with her that he had shared with Jany.  She turned back to William.  He was the first man she had ever felt an instant attraction to who had actually given her any attention. 

            “Okay,” she told William.  “I’d love to have a good ti


Thanks for reading

From the Plus Side with Emily Smiltneck


Emily's Cool Links

Good 4 U Food

Recipes for Good... Healthy Food

By: Xander - The Food Dude


Decide Already!

by Xander The Food Dude

As we take last month over the previous year (2009) and finally a few hurried moments to look forward (2010) to the pending hurried year, we confront one undeniable fact.  We all want the coming year to be better than the last year.  Whether last year was a terrible year or a great year for you is now irrelevant as we face forward into the new decade.

Since I turned forty this year, I seem to have adopted a variety of weird habits, most of which is to remind me that time is passing.  I think the most bizarre one is the little lines of information you can get on the television show through your cable box.  Every time I watch a movie on television now, I quiz myself on what year it was made and then check to see if I am right.  The last one was the Karate Kid, I guess at a year, I’m off by two and then I think to myself, “That was made 16 years ago”.  Then the worst part I then subtract that total from my total age, finally giving me the age I was when it was released.  As in , “Good God, I was only 22 when that came out !!”, or something to that effect.  As I look back at the time that is passed I often think, maybe I’ve wasted it all.  I think of the opportunities I’ve let slide by staying where it was comfortable and safe.  I look at the thing I have accomplished and I find myself not terrible impressed most of the time.

This time I have determined that its time to impress myself.  I wouldn’t be so bold as to think of this as a New Year’s goal list which would be repetitive and pointless.  I really want to see just what I can do?  What can I accomplish with my time?  How far can I go in 12 months.  Just as a sample and this is in no way a complete list I thought I would try to fix it so that I have a point this year.  The more anal retentive among us call this a mission statement.  I call it taking the simple and sucking the life out of something that should be meaningful. 

Decide who you are and what you believe, don’t compromise that for anything.  If you find it easy to compromise it, then it wasn’t you.  Try again.

Decide where you are and where you want to go.  I was recently in a bookstore and one of the titles was “Design a Map to your Future and then Burn It”.  I found this extremely inspiring.  His point was that everyone successful will tell you that you have to design a map to “chart your course” (they seem to love boat talk don’t they).  The reality is that you need to know where you’re going (or the end goal) but no one can take into account the many changes that may occur from the point you start.  By being too strict on the course it may actually slow you down or even stop you.  Be flexible.

Decide what you love.  Once that is done, fill your life with it.

Decide what you hate (dislike).  Once that is done, remove it from your life.

Decide who adds to your life, and fill your time with them.

Decide who hurts your life, and distance yourself from them.

Decide what you want. Earlier in the year I spoke of a bucket list, or a list of things you want to do before you kick the bucket.  If you haven’t done one yet I highly suggest that you make one.  Please understand, I’ve come to realize that the bucket list is truly a living document that changes over time.  You add and subtract things from the list as you ideas and experiences change.  The bucket list can be everything you ever wanted, wanted to be, or wanted to do.

Decide you are miracle to make other miracles happen everyday.  I remember a line from a movie, where the character makes a profound statement on how little we see out lives as powerful or compelling.  He says, “We all have a full measure of life, but most of us watch is slowly drip away.  If you can manage to sum it all up at one place at one time, you can work something miraculous.”  At which point he saves that day, that other save the planet and the universe because of his sacrifice, yadda yadda, yadda.  While the movie was quite bad, the point made is profound, subtle, and simple.  Where there is life, there are limitless possibilities.

Decide that you are more that the sum of your experiences.  There is something evasive about our existence. It’s a shame that so many of us feel that because the path has only led this way or that, it can’t go elsewhere.  That’s where we are wrong, it can go anywhere at anytime of our choosing.  All we need to do is decide.

Decide now what you want to say you’ve accomplished in 2010 at this time next year. 

Is it the family, career, finances, etc. or are you more than that?  I would ask all you reading this to send me one thing you want to accomplish in 2010.  I’d like to make a list for everyone to see what our reader’s feel is important, what really drives there spirits.

You never know when something you write can inspire someone else. 

Decide to INSPIRE yourself.

Decide to SUPRISE yourself

Decide to AMAZE yourself

Decide to LOVE yourself

Decide to VALUE yourself

Decide ……..

Decide …………

Decide Already !

Xander's Recipe of the Month


White Wine Sauced Salmon over Pasta


  • 1 (750 milliliter) bottle dry white wine
  • 2 medium onions, chopped
  • 20 fresh basil leaves, chopped
  • 20 whole green peppercorns
  • 1 quart fish stock
  • 4 (8 ounce) salmon fillets
  • 1 1/4 cups heavy cream
  • 1 tablespoon cold butter
  • 1 (16 ounce) package dry fettuccini pasta
  • salt to taste
  • 4 sprigs fresh dill weed, for garnish


1.     In a large saucepan over medium-high heat, combine the white wine, onions, basil and peppercorns. Bring to a boil and cook until reduced by half, about 20 minutes.

2.     Meanwhile, heat the fish stock in a large skillet over medium-low heat. Add the salmon, and poach for 10 to 15 minutes, until salmon is cooked through, always keeping the stock at just below the boiling point. Remove the salmon to a plate, and cover with aluminum foil to keep warm.

3.     Remove about 3/4 cup of the fish stock, and stir it into the white wine reduction. Transfer the white wine sauce to a blender, and puree until smooth. Strain through a sieve back into the saucepan, and stir in the cream. Bring to a boil, and reduce by half again. Whisk in cold butter, and season with salt and pepper.

4.     Meanwhile, bring a pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Add the pasta and cook until tender, about 8 minutes. Serve pasta with salmon fillets and spoon sauce over the top. Garnish with a piece of dill.


Thank you for Reading Good Food 4U

By Xander the Food Dude

Please send thoughts and comments to

Big Girls on the Red Carpet


Cher Rue is an actress, writer and producer. Starting out with writing "Dear Cher" she knew she loved helping other people. Being plus size all her life this was where she knew her calling was.

Cher was seen on "Dr.Phil, "Good Morning America", "Entertainment Tonight", "Russian, British, Japanese, and Viet Vietnamese Television". Also a documentary filmed at the Las Vegas Bash on the Travel channel, and Current TV, a online station, with numerous radio interviews talking about size acceptance.
You can also see a recurring show "Secret Lives of Women" seen on the We channel "Women's entertainment".

Cher was recently in a new movie "Forever Plaid" coming out soon.

Cher is now involved with mainstream "Hollywood" and charity events showing that beauty comes in all sizes
it is what is inside that counts.

Cher has always loved seeing others happy and helping others to find their inner self and beauty.
Ten years ago, she found the plus size community and she knew this is where she would focus on helping others who were like her and had some of her experiences and pain that she went through.

'Reality Cares' - Toy Drive!
Article by: Cher Rue

Reality Cares does it again, this time it was a toy drive for the Children’s Hospital in Los Angeles.  This event was sponsored by Madison Hildebrand, Of “Bravo’s Million Dollar Listings”.

With the turnout of so many caring people, the event was a successful venture for the Los Angeles Children’s hospital.  Celebrities and friends arrived on this crisp sunshine day with a toy in hand and big heart

Each and everyone one of the caring celebrities were touched with emotion, for their gift would bring joy to a child.  The gifts were many and the happiness was in abundance that day. The music was jumping, the drinks were flowing and the smiles were in abundance.

They had a whole table of fun candy that you could choose and make your own bag, it was the highlight with lots of gummy things. The house that held the event was for sale and it was amazing, surrounded with lots of glass windows and several levels. If you are not up for the climb this is not the house for you. Also the view of the Hollywood Hills was breathtaking you could almost touch the sky. The house was full of so many people chatting and meeting new friends, what a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

 The event had special guest appearances by Taryn Manning of Melrose Place along with DJ Savi & The Treble Boys. Celebrity guests in attendance were Tian Kitchen from the Amazing Race, , Sabrina Parisi, Charlie Lapson, Elena Grinenko, Rebecca Cardon, Phobe Price, Lisa Todd, Caitlin Funk, Shannon Funk, Lucky Romero, Michael Dean Shelton, Cristal Tsen, Rachel Reenstra, Cher Rue, Dennis Maynard, Dustin Nicholas, Sam Saddigh, Leila Arcieri, Scott & Jovy,  Ella Thomas, Johann Urb, Tami Farrell( Ms. California), Todd Michael Krim, Michael Dean Shelton, Amy Nicoletto, Crystle Stewart(Ms. USA), Kaya Jones, Matthew Finlason, Lauren Hildebrandt, Aubry Fisher, Frankie Needles, Erica Mena, Jessica Kiper, Christiano Sampaio, Todd Michael Krim, Bradley Djukich, and many other caring individuals.

 A special thanks goes to the host committee for an event well done – Christiano Sampaio, Todd Michael Krim, Bradley Djukich and Tian Kitchen.


Thanks for reading Big Girls on the Red Carpet

Hot & Heavy Entertainment


     Stephanie Baham is a native of Los Angeles, CA and now resides in the San Francisco area. She's a 38 year old professional who has long enjoyed the craft of writing. Her other interests include film, theatre, yoga, dancing, literature and politics. Stephanie holds a Bachelor's degree from Cal State University, Long Beach in Theatre Arts. She is currently working towards her degree in Psychology.


Fat Bitch! It's not a put-down, it's a Comedy Show

with Stephanie Baham



I was reading Essence magazine and came across a lovely plus sized diva named Erica Watson.  She is a comedienne who is originally from Chicago, and currently works as a stand-up comedienne and film/television director in New York City.

I first saw Erica in two commercials for the Oxygen Network called "Tresstify" and "Kiss & Tell". She told a funny story about a disastrous highlighting job her best friend did on her hair...and a story about kissing.

Watson has been a featured commentator on 3 different BET Specials: "The Evolution of Mary J. Blige", "I Wanna Thank My Momma", and "The Evolution of Jay-Z".  Watson is a recurring panelist on the BETJ talk show "My Two Cents," where she shares her views on politics and pop culture.

Watson is also the director of the reality TV Series "My Model Looks Better Than Your Model" on the BETJ Network. She also performs at various comedy clubs across the country.  She will be performing a one-woman show called "Fat Bitch!" at the Laurie Beechman Theatre in NY this February.  Here's a synopsis from her MySpace page of what her show will include:

Erica Watson has NEVER had an orgasm before during sex.  And she's mad about it!  In Penis Envy, she explores her jealousy of male sexuality and how it has manifested itself in and out of the bedroom.  She confesses her fear of blow jobs, meeting men in STD clinics and why male strippers make her nervous!  Can Erica and Penises get over their issues and become friends?

Look in the sky!  Is it a bird?  A Plane?'s Super Mammy!  Erica explores white America's fascination with sassy full-figured Black women and how those media images have shaped her self esteem and interactions with men, especially Black Men. Erica will explore how her weight has shaped her view of the world, and how the world has viewed her shape!

Although Erica has been around the tv & stage circuit...I found some of her most amusing material in her blogs.  She talks about how guys can get some lovin' even if we are in a recession and he can't afford a proper date.  She also talks about why anyone with fans should never have sex with those fans....and there's a piece about being in love with a stripper. Read more at

Erica loves the men.  According to her, she enjoys "Men, black men, more men, white men, men again, rich men, some more men, latino men, a couple more men, asian men, men!"  I don't blame are pretty nifty!

Below is a video of her stand-up routine.  If you're in NY, check out her show in February.

Comedian Erica Watson @ Carolines

Erica Watson | MySpace Video

You can also find Erica on the web....

Happy New Year!
Stephanie Baham


Thanks for reading Hot & Heavy Entertainment

Stephaine's Links:


National and International Plus Size News


     I am a former plus-size model and stage performer. I have written articles that have appeared in local newspapers, college magazines and I was a sports editor for my school newspaper. Currently I have a book coming out in May 08, How to Make a Living Without a Job: the Guide to Professional Temping. It will be available online through Amazon and can be ordered through Barnes & Noble or Borders. I split my time between the Bay Area, CA and Houston, TX.


Katie Price Lingerie DOES NOT use stick thin Models
with Iolande Vitt Argent


When Katie Price (also known as glamour model Jordon) launched her own range of lingerie back in 2006, she did it in an unconventional way. First the range was sold at ASDA (a UK supermarket), secondly it ranged in sizes 32 to 38 and cup size D to F. But the biggest departure from the norm, the range was launched without the aid of stick thin models.

Katie Price was quoted as saying...

"There are lots of people who promote their underwear with stick thin models but I wanted to use my family and friends so that's what I did.” Quoted Price. When asked what she liked about the new range, she said, "The bits that I like are the little bows, the little frills and the short knickers.”

Katie Price Lingerie is sold via 'George at ASDA, prices starting at £5.’ Take notes Wal-Mart…


Thanks for reading Did You Know

The Big GB

My Gastric Bypass Memoirs

Sonya L. Bennett, (also known as “Truthfulblkwoman”) is a 38 year old, black female, single with no children living in Detroit, Michigan.  She is the youngest of a set of fraternal female twins, with a older sister.  Sonya lives with being the larger twin, and discovered people always presumed that they would look alike in SOME way... Even though fraternal twins don't necessarily look alike.  Always being the heavier of the two, people (family, associates, friends) were quick to point it out. She grew to realize an outer appearance is what people judge you on initially.  As a college-educated freelance court stenographer, it never occurred to her that size would prohibit her from receiving work.  In the legal world, the “eye candy” usually didn’t fill UP the corner.

In 2007, Sonya was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes; a generational curse that she had prayed to avoid, but didn’t worry about while she piled butter pecan ice cream on her German Chocolate Cake.    Only a few months into this diagnosis, she woke up one morning unable to walk and in excruciating pain in her left foot.  Doctors finally diagnosed an acute tendonitis, exacerbated by uncontrolled diabetes.  That was the wake-up call, She had suffered for years with high cholesterol and sleep apnea; all associated with her weight,  it wasn’t until this happened (wheelchair bound for a month and on crutches following that) did she tell herself "I have to do something about my weight."  On April 17, 2008, Sonya had the gastric bypass medical weight loss procedure and it was the best decision that she made for herself.  In these upcoming writings, Sonya invites you to learn the ups and downs of gastric bypass: through the eyes of one who lives it every day.


Returning to a 'Normal' Environment

with Sonya Bennett

     I’ve watched those reality shows where people are climbing mountains and being taunted with, “You can either call your family that you haven’t seen in 12 years <LOL> or eat a donut!” and thought, ‘Wow, those people REALLY have it good: a personal trainer, the right foods at their disposal and nothing but encouraging people around them, even though it’s a competition. But what happens when they go home? What happens when they are back in the ‘real world’ of driving themselves around and passing those same fast-food restaurants that are so conveniently on the way to work?  

     What happens when their friends/relatives suggest their favorite restaurant as a “welcome home” gift or for that Saturday-night-gathering? How long does that learned behavior stay with you? If it were me, I’d have the relatives/friends come with me – if even for just a week – to that environment so that they can see what I’m going through and go home and act accordingly. It’s great to have that big ‘unveiling’ but what about when they open their closet and that favorite suit/dress/top is hanging there, 12 sizes too big? Do they put it on and say, “Wow, this does NOTHING for me?” or do they think, “Hell, this cost me $80.00 and is still new! I can rock this” and before you know it, they’re back up to that size or close to it?

     These are the things to think about when you endeavor a life-changing decision such as the gastric bypass. It’s not an easy thing; it’s not a magic pill. It is a tool that does what it’s supposed to do: constrict the amount of food you take in and restrict the types of food you take in. Unfortunately, your senses are heightened after the surgery so smelling that bacon your housemate is frying is even MORE intense and guess what, your desire to WANT that bacon does not go away. You don’t have a Jillian Michaels or Richard Simmons to make you work out or to slap that slice of warm bacon out of your hand. What you DO have, however, is a tiny stomach that rejects when there’s too much in it and a ‘new’ gastrointestinal system that will make you regurgitate what it doesn’t like.

     Returning to work; such a different experience because not only do I not have many clothes to wear for the office (purchasing clothes in this in-between stage is difficult because you don’t want to waste your money. Thrift stores or secondhand clothes are always a best bet) but the usual question of the day is, “What’s for lunch?” Lunch is the social hour of the day in my office and at 10:00 in the morning and sometimes earlier, we’re pulling out menus trying to see what overpriced spot will be the lucky recipient of our hard-earned money. Not only that, I realize everyone is watching to see how my habits have changed: did I bring lunch? what will I eat and how much? It’s funny how people watch you; ‘police’ you as one friend put it. Quick to ask, “Are you SUPPOSED to eat that?’ yet if you ask the same of them, they’re ready to attack you with statements of how they’re just looking out for you; as if your little stomach isn’t doing that already. …

Join me next month as I share my first day/week/month back around my everyday environment!

With January being a time of “New Year’s Resolutions”, should you desire natural dietary supplements or flattering body garments that sculpt our bodies and give us that hourglass figure, visit my site at:  and send a note with any questions.



Thanks for reading

The Big GB - My Gastric Bypass Memoirs

Sonya's Links:

Sonya Bennett on Facebook


Time to tell it like it is!


     This is an experiment in Confession, you can anonymously confess, or let everyone know something that you feel.  Every Month we will post all the confessions and you can come and view them and be inspired to make your own.


     You can send in a picture,  You can make a graphic,  You can just send in your written words.  You can do it anonymously and get something off your chest.  You can let everyone know who you are and liberate yourself.


     Hope you enjoy Confession!  Send in your own check the bottom of this page!





I hated myself all my life...  My parents told me if I didn't lose weight I will never have respect.

Now that they are dead and I am all alone I see things differently. The only ones who didn't respect me were them.





I am a liar. I hate my size. I don't know what to do. Am I supposed to be proud? Or am I supposed to be thin?





Before I said: She means everything to me and I cant figure out what is wrong with me. 

Why does her size make me stay away.  It wasn't her size it was me.





I am so tired of people talking about how great they are and that there size wont stop them. 

If you really believed it you wouldn't have to say it all the time.




Send in your own Confession,  Use the email to the Right and send in a your confession, weather it is a graphic you made (NO BIGGER THAN 5x7 92 DPI) or a picture you saw.  You can also just send in text words.  Your Confession can be Anonymous or you can tell everyone who you are.

Send in your Confession NOW!

Thanks for reading Confession

Send in your Confession to


Large In Charge Guest Spot

We want to hear and see your talents!


One of our favorite parts of the Magazine.  The Guest Spot is for our readers to submit there talents to be viewed.  We want to see all you wonderful supporters making moves of your own.  If you write poetry, short stories, commentaries, or just thoughts in general, please submit them to us.  If your a designer we want to see pictures of your clothing.   We would love to include your talents in our newsletter.  We hope you take an active part in the L.I.C. newsletter. Send in your article, poetry, comments to -

NOTE: The Opinion of the writer is not always the opinion of The Large in Charge Staff.  We support the Right to all views.  We do not Condemn or Approve writing based on our personal thoughts.  We approve writing based on if the subject is a concern for the BBW / SSBBW / BHM Community.  Thank you for your writing and please send in those articles!  - The Large in Charge Staff

Guest Writer


Written By: Darliene Howell

I used to have a great deal of respect for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), until PETA as an organization has chosen to stigmatize a large portion of our population through their "Lose the Blubber" billboard campaign in Jacksonville, Florida.

If a child in school were to do what PETA is doing, their behavior would be called bullying for acting in an overbearing and/or intimidating manner. When has being a bully EVER been acceptable? It is not. This behavior and this billboard is NOT acceptable. How is this ethical treatment of human beings?

PETA's automated response to people that have had the courage of their convictions to tell them how this campaign demoralizes and demeans them, was "We apologize for any offense we may have caused; that was not our intent." (Too late!) And that "...we think it would be cruel not to tell people about the health benefits of going vegetarian." Oh! So it's being done out of concern for our health and that gives them the right to humiliate us? Is this their brand of ETHICAL TREATMENT?

The message goes on to talk about vegetarian living and how we wouldn't be obese and unhealthy if we stopped eating meat. Interesting, since I was a Vegan for a couple of years during my younger years and did not find that I lost any weight as a result. Okay, so I was still obese but I MUST have been healthier, according to their assertion. Hmmmm... Sounds a little like we could be healthy and still be fat? Does that mean that PETA believes in Health at Every Size (HAES)? Doubtful!

After all of this, they have the audacity to ask for a donation!

In a press release from the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance (NAAFA), they send a clear message that "Stigmatization does not work!" and that "This campaign's sole purpose is to bring PETA's animal rights agenda to the public discussion at the expense of an entire segment of the American population." I absolutely agree. They have received LOTS of media attention and letters of protest as a result of this campaign.

I'm very proud of all of the people that have stood up for themselves and others by writing to PETA in protest. If you would like to express your disappointment in their tactics and tell them that stigmatizing fat people is not acceptable, please send an email to

I've also had a number of friends who are animal lovers, that have supported PETA in the past, tell me they will no longer do so because of the way they have handled this advertising campaign. This may be the very best way to handle things. Hit them below the belt... the money belt, that is. There are many, many nonprofit organizations out there vying for our charitable-giving dollar. PETA will NOT be one of my choices.

For more information on Health at Every Size (HAES),


To read NAAFA's full press release,

"Message to PETA: Stigmatization Does Not Work!",

go to  or



Interested in applying for a writers position?


     Send in the information below along with a clear photograph of yourself and one complete article at least 300 words.  Please make sure your article is matching the position your applying for.  If you are a versatile writer and applying for more than one position send in one article for each position.


     Any submissions maybe be used in the magazine as a guest article or other wise if you do not receive a position.  If you are picked for a position it will be used as a back up for your column in case of emergency.


I want to Apply for a Writers Position:


My Name is:

My email address is:

My Phone Number is:

My location/address is:

The position I am applying for is:


Here is my article:


I am allowing LargeInCharge to use my image and article as they see fit.  By typing my name and date I understand that I agree to the above.   NAME/DATE


Send to:


Thank you

Send in your Work to Appear in LargeInCharge

We love our guest writers, they help us to make LargeInCharge more personal and reader friendly place.  We bring the people words from there own peers.  If you always wanted to write but never knew what to do with your thoughts and opinions.  Send them in to us we love to feature you in our guest spot.


What type of entries do we accept?

  • Original Articles that have not been placed in publication.

  • Size Empowerment Stories

  • Discovery of Size Acceptance

  • Romance of Large Size

  • Poetry - at least 25 lines in length

  • Complaints about Society

  • Complaints about what is provided for Big People

  • Complaints about Health Care

  • Weight Loss Surgery Experiences

  • Dealing with Doctors

  • The Joy of being Big

  • Learning to Love yourself

  • etc.

How to Submit my Article for review?

  • Check your article for spelling and correct format, We do not edit articles.
  • Attach your article either in Word, Text Format, or in the Body of your email.
  • In your email send your Real Name, E-mail and Address (state, location).
  • Under your Name and Address include date, and the line. "I give and there owners, permission to use my written article. I am submitting it for there use at their discretion."
  • Include a picture if you so wish in .jpg or .gif format and a brief description of yourself.

Send in your stories, poems, etc. to


Large In Charge

Fashion Furious

BBW/BHM Fashion of the Month

     We all hate how the Fashion Industry is just scratching the surface when it comes to Large Sized Fashion.  But I have found out that many clothing stores and online companies are beginning to take up the slack.  Creative BBW, SSBBW and BHM's are making there own clothing or mix matching and finding basic everyday wear and night club wear. 

     Making it affordable is what can be hard so showcase your wonderful finds here.  If your a regular shopper, sew your own clothing or a designer showcase your clothing here by submitting a picture for Fashion Furious of the month.


Fashion Furious of the Month

How to send in your Fashion Find. Send a Clear Picture as an attachment

and use the Format Below to describe your Fashion Furious picture.

Email to Raqui:

Fashion Find by: Raqui

Fashion Type: Woman Within New Years Sale

Why I Like this Item: I love New Year Sales :)


Woman Within -




Send in your Fashion Furious Picture and Details to

Large In Charge

Product of the Month!

What is good for Big Sized Bodies


    A very important and necessary part of LargeInCharge.  Find out what is helpful for big bodies.  Keep your self straight with some of our tips and tricks. Find out what other Big Sized people use to keep themselves smelling, feeling, looking, and living a proper life.  What kind of products are allowed. Anything that deal with the body. From cleaning aids to soap, lotions, powder, healing aids etc.  anything that can help a big body!

NOTE: The Opinion of those who submit items are not professional.  They are everyday people who found something that worked for them.  We are not held responsible for there opinion - The Large in Charge Staff

Send your favorite Item to be Product of the Month - Follow format below, include a picture of product (most can be found online) and Send to

Product of the Month

About the Product

Recommender: Raqui

Name of Product:Leg Lifting Aid

Type of Product: Mobilty

Cost of Product: $16.95 - 32.95 Depending on size

Where Product can be found:



Why I like this Product:
I believe this product can be used in many way by people of all sizes. It is a definite for those with mobility issues.  Anyone can use them for at home exercise and stretching and if you get creative you can use them for leg support during intimate situations.



Send in your Product recommendation to

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