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LargeInCharge Magazine - Six Years on the Net!

 Issue#72 - March 2010

Welcome to LargeInCharge Magazine

In this Issue of L.I.C.




Words of Wisdom from the Heart & Mind of Raqui


Big Girls on the Red Carpet  ~ Cher Rue


From the Plus Side ~ Emily Smiltneck

Good 4 U Food  ~ Xander


The Big GB My Gastric Bypass Memoirs - Soyna Bennett


Tales of a Happy Fat Girl ~ Estrelia Mateo


From the Desk of NAAFA

National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance


Fashion & Products with The WebGirl ~ Lucia Roth


Free All Thinking ~ Candace Lane

Reflections from a Plus Sized Sista


LargeInChargeDating - Dating for the Large People who are going to be in Charge of their Love Lives!


LargeInCharge Friends - The Place for Big People to make Friends and maybe MUCH MORE!

 Fighting Discrimination in China - 1000 lb Singing Group Qian Jin Zhu He
Online Resources - compiled by Raqui

Zhang Wen, 24; Yang Ye, 21; Shen Jing, 23; and Xiao Yang, 26, from left to right

You can check out a video of their performance
After being unable to find a decent job because of their weight, four rotund girls found each other on the internet and decided to organize a band called (qian jin zhu he) in 2007.  The name means thousand pounds band, but can be punned to also mean "daughters from noble families."

The four girls are Xiao Yu, who weighs in at 110kg; Yang Hua, also 110kg; Little Q, at 140kg;and Xiao Yang, the heaviest at 175kg.

According to the four girls, they had been trying to find jobs for a long time, but all the companies they applied to rejected them one way or another. They felt the main reason was due to their weight. One member said "[They] discriminate against fat people. Which is why we started this band... to show them that overweight people can do even better!"

They also admitted they liked being the center of attention.

Their first single is "Why bother if we are fat?", The band claims that all the lyrics are written themselves in an effort to express their feelings of being overweight in Chinese society.

If you’re fat, be fat - don’t care about what other people think
If you’re fat, be fat - as long as your heart still has dreams
I still want, I still want, I still want, I still want…
To sing it loudly “I’m fat and… the fatter I get, the cuter I am.”

   Plus-size Chinese quartet tackles bias against the obese

NANJING, China — On the street, they are often the target of laughter or cruel whispers. Individually, they have all been denied jobs or their parents’ praise.

Onstage, however, the four members of a singing group known as Qian Jin Zu He are strong and confident, belting out their signature rap song, “So What If I’m Fat,” passing out photographs of themselves and signing autographs.

The lead singer, 26-year-old Xiao Yang, is 375 pounds; the others in the group are between about 200 and 300 pounds. Together, they tour the country, performing at nightclubs, paint factories, garment industry conventions and shopping malls.

Their success has been modest, but given the powerful discrimination against the obese in China, Xiao said her discovery by a talent agent has been “like a tree branch saving me in the water.”

The story of precisely how Xiao’s group came to be is a window onto the challenges of being obese in a country where the ideal form of feminine beauty is delicate, girlish and small-boned. As China has grown more prosperous, the percentage of overweight citizens here has also grown. Still, those who are obese continue to struggle in relative solitude. Only about 7 percent of the population in China is considered obese, compared with 30 percent of the population in the United States.

Not long ago, having overweight children in China was viewed as a sign of prosperity. Even today, grandparents who can remember famines, especially in the late 1950s and early 1960s, tend to spoil and overfeed their grandchildren.

But chubby is no longer in fashion here, and image has become more important than ever. Summer boot camps for the overweight are springing up. In an increasingly competitive market, employers demand height and weight information from job candidates. And in higher education, fitness can now be a reason to reject college applicants, officials say, all other factors being equal.

“Chinese people now have a higher requirement for fashion and healthiness,” said Wang Zeqing, a social psychologist who is leading a nationwide project analyzing the psychological health of Chinese. “Being fat, in people’s minds, means not trendy and healthy.”

Discrimination against the obese is inevitable, Wang said: “It’s how society is now. Employers have countless choices. They can easily turn down a fat person and choose a better-looking one.”

It was against this backdrop that Xiao struggled to make a life for herself. Growing up in the city of Xuzhou, in the eastern province of Jiangsu, she took weight-loss pills at 5. Her embarrassed parents refused to hold her hand in public and enrolled her in what she recalls as a “devil eating program” that allowed participants to eat only fruit and drink only water.

Xiao recalled being rejected from three technical schools because of her obesity. She had wanted to become a chemistry teacher; though her test scores were not low, she said, officials feared she couldn’t stand up in a classroom for 45 minutes at a time.

Four years ago, in desperation, Xiao placed an ad in a local newspaper, begging for someone to help her lose weight or find a job. Hu Zhi, a public relations agent based in Nanjing, saw it. He decided to add her to his roster of “special people” with unusual talents.

The acts Hu envisioned were not subtle. Already on his roster of performers were a man who could drag a car with his ear and another who broke glass with his teeth. Such acts aren’t all that unusual in China, where variety shows, reality television and competitions involving audience participation have become increasingly popular.

Xiao “was educated, so I thought if I could dig out some potential performing skill, maybe I could help her and she might be a good resource for my company,” Hu said.

He gave her CDs and DVDs featuring various performers, as well as a coach, and asked her to study dance moves.

Xiao felt uncomfortable at first. Every time she called home, her family asked if she had lost weight. “Obesity has already made my parents and me so unhappy. I thought, ‘Am I really going to use my fat figure to make a living?’ ” she said.

To build her confidence, Hu tried to find her a boyfriend. He knew that the relentless pressure from her family to lose weight was driven by fears she would never marry. He got the largest newspaper in the city, the Nanjing Evening News, to write up every detail of Xiao’s misfortune in a story and seek prospective husbands.

Xiao wasn’t serious about getting married. But the story in March 2006 was a big boost to her confidence and drew 200 letters from interested men. It also attracted letters from more than 100 obese women from all over China who had had the same feelings and experiences. They all wanted to be friends with Xiao.

Hu and the newspaper formed a club for the women, with activities such as a beauty contest. That produced enough talented performers that Hu decided to form a band. Dozens of people auditioned.

The result was Qian Jin Zu He.

The group’s name is a play on words. One meaning refers to a courteous expression for another person’s daughter or, in ancient times, a thousand pieces of gold. But no one who sees the band perform can mistake its second meaning: 1,000 jin, a Chinese measurement that would translate to just more than 1,000 pounds.

These days, the band is making more TV appearances than before, on cooking shows and alongside Olympic wrestlers. It performed in more than a dozen provinces last year.

But as Qian Jin Zu He crisscrosses China, the band sometimes meets less-welcoming audiences. Once, a spectator thought Xiao was wearing a fat suit and asked if he could test his theory by burning her skin with a cigarette. Another audience member came onstage to trip her.

“Only a small part of the audience understands and supports us,” said Shen Jing, 23 and, at 198 pounds, the lightest member of the group.

“Most of them aren’t tolerant, though in the big cities it’s better. We’ve seen some bloggers say we’re cute,” said Shen, wearing blue eye shadow and earrings shaped like the Eiffel Tower. “But others say: ‘You’re so fat, you shouldn’t step outside and frighten people. You should hide yourselves.’ ”

Through its performances, the group hopes to change stereotypes about the obese, said Zhang Wen, 24, who weighs 209 pounds and is from Tianjin.

“Our original purpose for joining the band is to help other girls like us feel more confident, feel better about themselves, and to prove our capability in front of others,” she said.

Researcher Li Jie contributed to this report.

Thank you for Reading The LargeInCharge Feature

Please send thoughts and comments to

Delores E. Smith

Cover model of the Month Interview What is your name?

My name is Queen Delores Elizabeth Smith. Where are you from and what is your current Location?

I was born, raised and currently live in Philadelphia Pennsylvania. Can you give us some information about yourself (Age, Height, Size, Nationality, Marital Status, Children, etc.)?


I am 41 years old, Afro-American, 5 feet 5 inches tall and wear a 14-16 in clothing. I am also married and the mother of two adult sons Peter age 25 and Christopher age 21. Were you a big child, or did you gain weight later in life?


I was a “chubby” child. As I grew I just continued to be bigger than children my age. (If you were a big child) how did you feel growing up as a large child?

My parents always taught me to love myself regardless of what anyone else might say or think about me. (If you gained weight later in life) what caused you to gain weight and how did you feel about it?

My biggest weight gain came after pregnancy with my first son Peter. I gained 80lbs and lost only 10lbs after his birth. Please tell us about the title you now hold

I am 2009 Queen of the Wilkes Productions Big Beautiful Woman Pageant. This is an annual, National pageant which is held in Philadelphia Pennsylvania. This year the pageant was held on August 23, 2009. Were you nervous about entering a Pageant?

I really was not very nervous entering. I was just more concerned about being prepared for the pageant. Things moved so fast during the pageant that at least for me there was not enough time to be nervous. What did you wear for the Pageant?

For my into I wore a White Jersey gown, my talent I wore a patchwork Maxi Dress and for my evening wear I wore a purple velvet gown. All three of those gowns were designed by Douglas Says out of New York. My lingerie was designed by Miss Shirley Stewart of Bodacious Body Lingerie in Trenton. What made you decide to enter?

This actually my second time entering the Wilkes Productions BBW Pageant; I was a contestant in 2008. I was blessed to have shared the stage with some very beautiful and talented Plus Sized ladies as I was this year. Last year I placed as First Runner-up. I really enjoyed the experience and wanted to be a part of it again this year. Tell us how did you feel during the Pageant?

During the pageant I felt anxious. Before each segment there is a wardrobe change. So I was focusing on what outfit was next, how was I going to do my hair, how was I going to do my makeup and making sure I was prepared when it was time to go on. Not to mention what was required once I got on stage. There was really a lot going on. What was it like to go out on that stage?

Going on stage was exciting specially seeing my family there supporting and cheering me on. I used to perform in high school and college so it was nice to be back in my element. What is your Platform and Talent?

Breast Cancer awareness and Prostate Cancer testing are issues that are near and dear to my heart. My mother is a Breast Cancer survivor for over 25 years and my father who is now 87 was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer over 23 years ago. A platform is not required to enter the pageant however I will be working very closely with these organizations just as I previously have. There are also organizations in Philadelphia such as PAL that I will also offering my services to.

For the talent portion of the pageant I sang “The Way He Makes Me Feel” which is from the play “Yentl”. I had to sing it “A cappella” due to the fact that my instrumental would not play for the sound man. That was kind of nerve wrecking I must admit. What have you done since winning your Title?

So far I have made several appearances. One at a Red Carpet Book signing on board the Moshulu and two appearance at Wilkes Productions R&B Onstage which is a showcase at the prestigious Clef Club in Philadelphia. Have you had any media exposure?

No I have not had any media exposure as of yet. The pageant was just a few months ago. However I was in a commercial for the Pageant in 2008. Do you plan to enter anymore Pageants, if so which ones?

Once my reign has ended I will consider entering other pageants. There are so many plus size pageants popping up around the country. I will have to do my research and pick those pageants that will serve me and my platform best. Did you find it a hard journey to be accepted for your size?

No I never had a problem with accepting my size. Maybe others had a problem with my size but they have learned to get over it and except me for who I am. Do you find acceptance among your family and friends?

My family and friends have always loved and supported me regardless of my size. What would you say inspires you most in life?

My sons have always been my inspiration. They look up to me so the decisions that I have made in my life have had to be to right ones. What is your primary job?

I am a Philadelphia Police Officer a career that I have had for over 16 years. I am also a freelance Makeup artist and have done some talent scouting for different shows in the Philadelphia area. How did you get into this line of work?

Being a Police Officer was not a childhood dream of mine. I wanted to be a Registered Nurse and was actually in college pursuing that dream. My first marriage fell apart leaving me to support two young boys. So I dropped out of college, applied for The Philadelphia Department of Corrections and The Philadelphia Police Department. I was hired by the Prisons first and worked there for two years before switching over to Police. By the way I was plus size at the time I was hired for both jobs. In fact I was a size 14 when I graduated from the Philadelphia Police Academy. Do you find acceptance in the work force?

Yes, but I had to prove myself to get that acceptance. Police work can be very physically challenging. Once my colleagues saw that I was capable of backing them up, could run with them and get down and dirty right beside them not only did I gain their respect but I had requests from Officers wanting to partner with me. What changes do you believe should take place for Large People in the work force?

Discrimination because of size is still very much in the work place and needs to stop. Just like it is illegal to discriminate because of race, sex or sexual orientation so should it be for size discrimination. There are still places that judge your ability to work on your size. There still places that will not hire you because you do not fit a particular mold or might make their organization look bad because you are larger than what they might consider normal. I am living proof that we can do any job as well as those so called normal size people. What do you think about the fashion industry for big sized clothing?

All I can say is hallelujah!!! It’s about time. I remember my grandmother who was 300+ lbs always wearing what looked like a curtain or a Moo Moo. It’s nice to see that there are sexy and sophisticated clothing for plus size women and even men. What do you wish to see change with the fashion industry?

I would like to see more variety with in the Plus Fashion Industry. It would be nice if more big name designers would finally realize that there are not that many coat hangers walking around these days and would offer their fashions in plus size as well as straight size. What changes do you think will happen if plus sized modeling for men and women were to expand?

I think that there will be a bigger respect for people that are plus size. I also think that those who are plus size would start accepting themselves especially our young people. Tell us some of the places you buy your clothing from.

I shop a variety of places: Ashley Stewart (tops, Bottoms, Dresses, Outerwear), Lane Bryant (Tops, Bottoms, Dresses and Foundations i.e.…Spanx), New York and Company (Sweaters and Workout gear), Victoria Secrets (dresses and pajamas). I do not limit myself to a single store. Tell us one of your secret beauty tips.

I am very much into skin care. It is so important to take care of your skin. Mine is extremely sensitive and tends to break out when I use makeup so I try to pamper it. Also the environment takes a toll on your skin. I love the Ambi Skin Care Line from Johnson & Johnson its very light and controls my occasional break outs. Give us some tips on how to have a successful Photo shoot. What should models be prepared for?

Be prepared to work. Photo shoots can be very lengthy and very tiring. Make sure you have your outfits and accessories prepared. Some photographers tend not to be very patient with people who are disorganized. Other than that just be yourself and Rock It. Look at Size acceptance five years ago... look at size acceptance now. What changes do you see?

I see plus size people especially women being more comfortable in their skin. I see the big girls turning more heads and men coming out saying they love the big girls and not ashamed to have them on their arm. What changes do you think will happen five years from now with size acceptance?

I would like to see more social platforms for Size Acceptance. Why do the airlines require you to purchase two seats? Just make them larger. Tell us about your goals as far as modeling and other interests.

As far as modeling is concerned I would love to do print work and some runway work. I have been in several fashion shows and really enjoyed the experience. My work as a MUA is also starting to get a lot of exposure and I would like to see that take off as well. In my police work I am looking forward to promotions in the next year or so. Can you tell us about an inspirational moment in you life that made you feel good about your size.

The day I graduated from the Philadelphia Police Academy in 1994, the day I married my husband Charles in 2006 and when I won 1st Runner Up in the 2008 Wilkes Production BBW Pageant. Those were all accomplishments for me and made me feel that despite my size I could still do anything I set my mind to. Is there a person in your life that makes you keep going?

Yes my wonderful sons make my life worth it and keep me going forward. They are my joy and the great accomplishment of my life. What advice would you give to other people of size who want to model?

Do not let anyway deter you from your dream. The sky is truly the limit and you can be and do anything you set your mind to. What plus size figure do you admire?

I have always admired the Original Runway Diva Miss Sharon Quinn. Describe yourself with one word.



Thanks for reading about our

Cover Model of the Month


     Raqui the Owner and Founder of LargeInCharge Magazine.  This spot is dedicated to her thoughts, vents, and observations of Plus Sized Life.  Raqui's  "Tell it like it is" style of writing has brought thousands to her blogs and millions to  There is so much behind the woman who has brought this magazine into existence.  Being Internationally known as a wrestler/squasher lead the way to modeling for companies and being featured in magazines and documentaries from all over the world.  She has made a career out of her size and personality. Born, Raised and Residing in the Bronx NYC. This city girl is taking the world by storm.


     For the past 6 years Raqui officially moved into Size Acceptance and Empowerment.  With the creation of LargeInCharge she took what she said to individuals to a higher level and made it public to the internet world. She is a woman who doesn't let things get to her.  Knock her down for the moment but she will rise up stronger and better.  Being a speaker on behalf of many subjects and counseling Plus Sized people online her grace and style has made people love her.  Raqui continues to set an example of a powerful woman who will bend the world to fit her, her way.


     Raqui's appearances include, Uk Television, German TV, Japan, Europe, Sweden and the Spanish circuit.  Her many magazines appearances have been world wide.  She has hit American Television in 2006 with Good Morning American and since has appeared on The Cristina Show,  The Maury Show and The Tyra Banks Show.

To view her Online portfolio visit

Raqui featured on and Glamour Plus - go to Portfolio Section

Raqui-ism - Laws of Attraction - Be what you Ask for!

Written By: Raqui 


     About a two months ago I started to come up with Raqui-ism's. I wanted to share my thoughts with others with little tid bits of knowledge I have learned along the way. One of the first ones I threw out to my lists was 


"If you want a mate who has a brain you need to act as though you have one."


     I know, many people were like DAMN RAQUI are you calling people stupid?  I said not exactly, I don't think people are stupid. I do think it is stupid to expect to get something when you yourself are not ready, capable or knowledgeable enough to receive it.


    All day long I come across messages, I see complaints, I even spend large amounts of time talking to different individuals about life, wants and desires, and  how to achieved them.  I constantly hear I WANT, I NEED, I WANT.  Very rarely do I hear I can provide, I can give, I have the ability.


     In a society that focuses on ME ME ME, how often do we find self-sacrifice and love? What boggles me even more is when people ask for so many things from friends, mates and family members but cannot give back.  You cannot ask for something when you do not have something of equal value to give.


     Some will say, Hey I am not trading for a relationship!  I say well what are your offering your Penis your Vagina is that all you have to offer?  Is that all you think you need to have a long lasting successful relationship?  Is that all your worth?  Do you have nothing more to give your potential mate?  What about your friends and family is your face suppose to be enough?


     How many times does it need to be said?  If you want a smart caring person in your life you must be smart and caring.  If you want someone to fall deeply in love with you, you must be willing and able to give of yourself and fall deeply in love.   If you want to have long lasting friendships that stand the test of time.  You need to be the type of person who continuously nurtures and show love and care to your friends, show that you have the skill to be able to handle these types of relationships!


      We are managers, we take care of business on a daily basis.  What is our business our lives.  We want to be successful and happy.  Are you managing your life right?  Are you accepting low quality product into your life?  If you want to be a true success their is NO WAY your going to let someone subpar enter into your domain and mess with your life.  Is it happening? Yes some of us are accepting less,  and those out there demanding what they are not capable of handling, are benefiting off of our good work.  Time to change.   Those who are demanding need to step up and not just ask for what you want, BE WHAT YOU WANT! 


     If you managed an elite restaurant you wouldn't hire a hamburger flipper as the top chef unless you witnessed that this person was totally 100% capable and qualified to do the job.  You want your restaurant to be a success you have invested time, money, your heart and soul into this dream.   You want to make sure that those around you are willing and able to do their job.  If someone came in with experience from McDonalds are you going to invite them in to cook for your clientele? 


     I can hear some of you already, IM NOT A HAMBURGER FLIPPER and FUCK ANYONE WHO THINKS I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH!  We are talking about relationships not restaurants!  The attitude against self improvement is one of the first signs of someone who is a ME ME ME person and not a WE person.  That attitude is what makes the difference between a generic hamburger and a top of the line grade A cut.  It is the difference that equals trust.  I wouldn't trust someone with that attitude to come into my life.  It is time for a big change. Be what you ask for in a relationship.  If not... don't be surprised when your all alone.

LargeInCharge Radio - Weekly Radio show discussing Plus Sized Issues.  Friday's 7-9 pm EST - Call in & Chat in our Chat Room.

Raqui's Cool Links  

Raqui's My Space Page

Thank you for Reading Raqui's Spot

Please send thoughts and comments to

Super Sized Sounds




     Super Sized Sounds will be a Music Column that will feature those who are in the industry or up and coming who are size positive. Giving recognition to the plus sized people who are out there and showcasing themselves.  Reviews, Interview, News and more from our new writer Super Sized Spanishfly Lynx.


      Lynx Garcia, also known as "SUPERSIZE SPANISHFLY", is a Latina BBW from Queens NYC.  Lynx is an activist speaking out against size discrimination and began performing back in 1996 at social events for big beautiful women and big handsome males and their admirers. Her special mixture of sound held true as she sang, spat, danced and performed spoken word, soon she was in demand by Big and Beautiful parties nationwide.  Lynx taking her "look" and sound mainstream was rejected because of her size. She did not let this break her spirit, hurt her confidence or minimize her drive. Instead she rose up and started a public access show (LYNX' LAIR) aired in Queens on TIME WARNER QPTV . Combination of comedy and sexy style, she showcased underground artists of all walks of life. The response to her show was less than a year she has showcased many artist, some who moved to bigger and better things.


     Currently Lynx has caught the attention of Joey Mekkah of BLACK SOLARIS ENTERTAINMENT and found herself on the Grandmaster MELLE MEL's SOLO ALBUM "MUSCLES" featured on the hot latin hip-hop track called 'DIMELO", she is the only collaboration on the album. Lynx recently has started her own radio show on EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO.COM  called Ladies Night. EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO is #1 on the itunes network.





Happy Happy New Year .....2010 is here and in honor of the new decade approaching I decided to give you musical INSPIRATION!. I hope they find a way to soothe your souls and give you all hope for a better tomorrow. And as usual I will provide you all with a new featured artist and a must see events to attend and classes etc.

I am also announcing that as of this day I will be taking a break from submitting articles to LargeInCharge till sometime in the spring. I would like to take this moment to thank you all for following my music column and for sending me so much love and positive energy. I send it right back to you and look forward to bringing you new fresh style and hot music and celebrity interviews (via youtube..oh yeah!) Time to gather resources and strength, wishing you all health, wealth and wellness from the inside out. Viva Gorditas!-

Special side note to Queen Raqui: "Thank you my sister for creating this positive platform for the people of our plus, full-figured and supersize community. Thank you for offering me the opportunity to utilize this platform to do what I love most...share music and pieces of myself, but mostly Raqui.  thank you for being my friend, for always lending an ear and for offering the best advice and for being five times more human than anyone I know with five loving hearts to match. I do love you Queen Raqui. Much success, till I return be well my friend."

ENIGMA "Return To Innocence"-sometimes we have to go backwards and reflect and go back to the beginning of ourselves and experience a spiritual rebirth, may God as you understand God ,The Most High to be fill your paths with love and light.

Michael Jackson "Man In The Mirror"- Before we can change the world we have to look at ourselves and inside ourselves and begin the change from within. Michael Jackson's !989 Grammy performance was that of one who is possessed. Haunts me till this day.

U2-"In The Name Of Love"-isn't everything we do in the name of love. Fight for love, live for love, open your hearts and receive love in your life! Whether it works out or not you will grow from the experience.

DIANA ROSS- "Do You Know Where You're Going To?"- Amazing how one simple question can make you assess your life, your history your place in the universe

WHITNEY HOUSTON- "The Greatest Love Of All"- when you love yourself all is possible.


Featured Artist Audio Submission: Our BBW sista CARMELINA featured in The Bollywood Movie "QURBAAN" here is her song "Starride To Heaven"



Featured Artist Video Submission from BBW Admirer and Supporter: SUPA NOVA SLOM "Purify Or Die" "So Sick So Sick of being sick and tired!" Wepa... Pura Vida! Pure Life... energy... loving the message, not preachy but right on time. He loves us fuller gals and we love him back! Can he tickle us with his feathers? I'm just saying.. lol... enjoy the yummy eye candy! Be inspired to be well... it's about being here longer. healthy at any size.

Be sure to look out for our homie Nova on Bill Cosby Presents "The Cosnarati" State Of Emergency - Hip=Hop album (support positive music) available on itunes
Also look out for his book 2010 "The Remedy" and join his social network at 


I have been hearing so much about this play, I am happy to announce I am finally going to see it! Won't you join me...hit me up and let me know if you're attending so we can say hi!



EXCITING UPCOMING WORKSHOP: Ooh Whee, this one is definitely interesting. My dear friend world renowned artist LILO KINNE will be conducting TANTRA workshops. I will be attending as well. Reasonable rates people of all colors ,shapes and sizes welcome!



Please call for information: 1 (646) 500 9820 (let her know Lynx Garcia sent you for reasonable rate)

LILO KINNE practices TANTRA which TRANSFORMS SEX INTO LOVE-MAKING. The experiences attained through the UNIFICATION OF SPIRIT, MIND & BODY are magnificent.






Want to send in your Voice in for review? Are you a singer, rapper, or poet who performs spoken word?  Up and Coming, already established?  Contact Lynx through her Myspace page or email and all information will be forwarded to her (PUT "FOR LYNX" IN THE SUBJECT AREA) 

You must be a Size Positive Artist, or a Plus Sized Supporter.

Thanks for reading

Super Sized Sounds with Lynx


Lynx Cool Links

From the Plus Side


Emily Smiltneck

     From the Plus side will be column dedicated to short stories that deal with all aspects of Plus size Life.  Emily Smiltneck was chosen for this position because of her dedication, and realistic writing style. She captures the emotional and mental rollercoaster those who are Plus Sized go through.


     Emily Susanne Smiltneck lives in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan (pretty much dead center in the middle of nowhere). She is a substitute teacher, and has recently started a tutoring business. Emily is currently working on several writing projects, including a historical fiction novel and several collections of poetry.

Emily Smiltneck receives recognition in Neighbors Daily Press - See article below


     It is a great joy when our fellow Plus Sized people receive recognition for their life's work.  Join me in this Joyous moment when one of our LargeInCharge writers is seen for her contribution and great dedication to her goals in life.  Click the images above to read the article about our dear Emily. When the page open click on the article to zoom in and read it.


The Adventures of Phatgurl

by Emily Suzanne Smiltneck  


The Adventures Of Phatgurl is a serial collection of stories about the adventures of Jany, a plus-sized young woman who, in desperation, places an ad on a personals website.  As she embarks on her dates, she meets many different kinds of men who expect many different things from her.  Some of her adventures are wildly amusing and others are more serious and even sad. 

If you have any ideas or experiences, funny or otherwise, that you would like to see depicted in a future Phatgurl story, please e-mail me at  I will do my very best to incorporate all reader ideas into future columns.  Thanks!


The Ad (Part 2)

SWSSBBW seeks SM who will not rape her, emotionally or otherwise.  The ability to both speak and write in complete sentences is a plus.  Must not inadvertently throw her down stairs or pretend that she is “Mama.”  Intelligent conversation, a little respect, and the lack of a current significant other will get you far.  And a well-developed sense of humor won’t hurt, either.  If you like smart chicks with jelly bellies and thunder thighs, reply to


Candidate 2.8: The Woman





Subject: I’m Not Sure How You’ll Take This…

My name is Selena.  I’m a bisexual BBW (I wanted to get that part out of the way right away) and I came across your ad.  Cute!  I wish I’d thought of something witty like that.  I know you didn’t say anything about being into girls, but…well, sometimes people don’t say that in their profiles if they’re not really sure about it yet, and you never know unless you ask.  So I’m asking. 

I work at the library downtown.  In periodicals.  I’m into reading and fashion and music and movies and celebrity gossip, just to give you an idea of what I do with my spare time.  And I’d like to meet you sometime if you want.  Don’t let me creep you out, though.  Feel free to just let me know if you’re not interested.  I understand if girls aren’t your thing. 

Okay, let’s leave it at that and see what happens. -Selena. 




Subject: Re: I’m Not Sure How You’ll Take This…


I’m not interested.  I don’t think.

I have to tell you that I was actually logging on to delete my account when I saw your e-mail.  It kinda stopped me in my tracks because it was so unexpected.  I almost just deleted it along with my profile, because the last guy that I met was a freak and sort of stalked me.  Actually, the police got involved, but not because he stalked me.  Long story.  Anyway, I saw your name and you were obviously not a guy, and something made me read your e-mail and now I haven’t deleted my account.  Yet.

I’m not bisexual.  Or a lesbian.  I don’t think.  I mean, I don’t think I’m bisexual.  I know I’m not a lesbian, because even though most men hate me, I still like men.  lol  My boss is bi, and I’ve never had a problem with it or anything.  It’s never seemed weird to me.  I’ve never been attracted to a woman, though.  Not really.  But the thought doesn’t gross me out or anything, so maybe that means I really am bisexual.  I don’t know.  Wow, you have me in a tailspin.  I mean, what if everything’s always gone wrong with men just because I was meant to be with a woman?  No, that’s silly.  I mean, I’ve had some good experiences with guys.  But I hate to say never.  Some of the guys I’ve gone out with?  I never should have gone out with them, but I did anyway, just for the experience.  So maybe I should go out with you just for the experience too.  I mean, if nothing else, at least you’re not a bicycle thief/stalker.  Are you?

I’m still not sure, but I’m not saying no.  Oh, and I work in an art gallery and am into music and reading, too.  So we do have some things in common.  -Jany




Subject: Re: Re: I’m Not Sure How You’ll Take This…


I know how you feel.  As far as not being sure if you’re bi or whatever, I mean.  I felt the same way the first time I got together with a girl.  For me, it was back in high school, though.  A friend of my cousin’s had the hots for me, and I was into being “alternative” so I went out with her.

I’m not a bicycle thief and I’ve never been called a stalker yet.  Feel better?  Why don’t we get together some time.  We won’t call it a date.  We’ll just get together and see how things go.




Subject: Re: Re: Re: I’m Not Sure How You’ll Take This…


OK.  Let’s just go to the mall or something.  I’m warning you, though, that even if we don’t call it a date, I am probably going to be super nervous.  Just FYI.  I get weird sometimes.  I’ve gotten a little better about it, but not completely better.


            Mala pushed Jany toward the door.  Jany held her knees stiff, did her best to keep from walking.  Finally, when Mala had just about pushed her over, Jany stepped forward.  But only to regain her balance.


            “Jany, just go!  My god!  You are going to the mall to meet a new friend, not stepping into a cage of hungry lions.  This is not a big deal.”


            “But what if she tries to kiss me?  Mala, I can’t do this.  That’s all I’m gonna think about.”


            “Really?  You’re this freaked out about a kiss that hasn’t even happened?  Come here a minute.”  Mala pursed her lips in Jany’s direction.


            “I’ll kiss you if I have to.  Just to prove that a girl-kiss is no big deal.”


            Jany sighed and stomped toward the door.


            “You don’t get it.”


            “Nope.  I don’t.  You freak out way too easy.  And you’re acting like you’re three.  You’re meetin’ her in a mall, not a hotel room.  It’s not like she could rape ya even if she wanted to.  You’re the one who says you’re lookin’ for a relationship and not just sex, but you’re thinkin’ way too much about sex right now for that to be true.”


            “I am not!”


            “If you weren’t thinking’ about sex, you’d be going, ‘Bye, Mala.  I’m going to meet my new friend at the mall.’  Instead, you’re going, ‘Mala, save me!  I’m going to meet a big bad lesbian who might make me kiss her!’  See the difference?”


            “She’s not a lesbian.  She’s bi.”


            “Shut up and just go have fun.”  Mala pushed Jany toward the door again, and this time Jany let her.


            At the mall, Jany paced outside of the main entrance for a while.  A woman who was not as fat as Jany but still a little chubby swaggered up to the door, dropped a cigarette on the sidewalk, stepped on it with a twist, kicked it into the grass, and disappeared into the mall.  Jany somehow knew it was Selena.  She stuck her hands in her pockets, sucked in her stomach the way she always did when she was meeting someone new, and followed the woman inside.


            Proud of herself for taking the initiative, Jany stepped toward the other woman and cleared her throat.


            Too late.  The woman swung around and started talking before Jany had a chance.


            “Hey—do you happen to be Jany?”


            “I am.”  Jany sagged backwards, deflated.  “You’re Selena?”




            “You sort of just stole the wind from my sail.  I was scared to death to meet you, just so you know, and I was feeling all proud because I found the courage to ask you if you were you, but then you asked me if I was me and I didn’t get to, and now you don’t have to believe I’m the kind of person that could find the courage to make a first move and I’m rambling.  I hate when I do that!


            “That’s okay.  If I’m listening to you ramble, I’m not rambling.  Wanna go get a drink and sit down?”


            Jany couldn’t think of a thing to say once they were seated, and obviously Selena couldn’t either, because they sat without talking.  Jany looked at her cup, the neon signs on the walls, the people around them, the floor, anything but Selena.  Finally, carefully, she raised her head just enough to peer at Selena over the top of her Coke cup.  Selena was looking at Jany, too.  Their heads pivoted in different directions and Jany absent-mindedly pressed her cup against her face to cool her burning cheeks.  What if Selena thought Jany had been checking her out? 


            Even though the room was full of noise, there seemed to be a bubble of silence around the table Jany and Selena were occupying.  With every second that passed, the bubble seemed more stifling.  Finally, Jany decided to test her voice.  No matter what she said, it couldn’t be any more uncomfortable than the silence. 


            “So, how—”  She stopped when she realized that Selena had started speaking at the same time.  Said the same words, even..


            “Damnit!  I’m trying so hard here and you’re never gonna give me a chance to talk first, are you?”


            “Sorry.  Go ahead,” Selena said, laughing.  Jany thought, for a second, that she had never heard laughter as beautiful as Selena’s.  Then she panicked.  Did that make her a lesbian?  Never mind.  Selena was waiting for her to talk.


            “I was just going to ask how your day was.”


            “Oh, fine.  I spent most of it stocking shelves.  That’s pretty much what I do for the first few days of the month, ‘cause that’s when we get the new magazines.”


            “Ahh.  I, uh—well, to be honest, I have no idea what I did today.  I was so nervous about meeting you that it was all a blur.”


            “You were nervous about meeting me?  Wow.  I am so not worth being nervous about.”


            “Funny, I tell people that all the time.  About me, I mean.”


            “You’re nervous-worthy, I promise.” 


            Jany jumped a little at Selena’s compliment—had it been a compliment?—and then forced herself to pay attention when she realized Selena was still talking.


            “So how has the personals thing been working for you?”


            “Okay.  I mean, I’ve met a lot of guys, but most of them aren’t exactly winners.”


            “I know what you mean.  I’ve met a few guys and a few girls, but to be honest, I haven’t met any girls I really like that much, and most of the guys only liked me ‘cause they knew I liked girls.”


            “Yeah, I can see that.  Guys can be weird.  I mean, heck, look at the bicycle thief guy.  Or the guy that wanted to call me mama.  Or the guy that wanted me to move in with him the day after our first date.  Our only date, actually.”


            “I’ve never had any that weird, but the guys have mostly been, like, ‘Hey, you meet many girls with your ad?’ and I tell them I’ve met a few, and then they generally ask if I think any of them would wanna join us in bed.  I’m all like, ‘No, prob’ly not, since I have no intention of ever being in your bed’.”


            They talked for a while longer, then got up and wandered through the mall. 


            “You know, the last time I came to this mall to meet someone, the dude asked me to give him a blow job in there,” Jany told Selena as they walked past the theater.  “Speaking of weird dates.”


            “Oh my god, really?  I totally promise I won’t do that!” 


            “Well, gee, that makes me feel better.”  They both laughed.


            “Did you?” Selena asked.


            “Did I what?”


            “Did you blow guy?”


            “Good god, no!  I mean, getting arrested for performing lewd acts in public didn’t exactly make my bucket list, and anyway, I am so not good enough at it to do it in public!”


            “You’re too funny.  I like your sense of humor.  You don’t exactly have a high opinion of yourself, though, do you?”


            “What do you mean?  I think I’m okay.”


            “I just noticed that you, like, cut yourself down a lot.  You laugh and stuff, but you still do it.  And you how you were so nervous about meeting me?  You shouldn’t have been that worried about it.  You’re a lot of fun.  And you’re pretty, too.”


            Jany couldn’t think of anything to say to that.


            “You are.  You’re really pretty.”


            “Um, thank you?  I’m sorry.  I really just don’t know what to say.”


            “No, I’m serious.  What makes you think you’re not?”


            “Look at me.  I’m fat and lumpy and bumpy and—”


            “Tell me something.  Be honest.  Do you think I’m ugly?”


            “No, of course not.”


            “What makes me not ugly?”




            “Go out on a limb.  Tell me what you like about me.  About how I look.  I promise I have a good reason for asking you—it’s not, like, just to make you compliment me or something.”


            “Okay, um—your hair is really pretty, and your eyes.  And your skin looks super smooth.  And—and you look sort of soft.  Like it would feel good to touch you.”


            “I’m just as fat and lumpy and bumpy as you are.  So if you believe those things about me, you have to believe them about you too.  If I catch myself dissing myself, I’m always like, ‘Would I say whatever I just said about myself about a friend?’  And the answer is almost always no.  I mean, I’d never tell a friend I thought her jeans made her legs look like fire hydrants, or that she was so ugly no one would ever want to be with her.  So why shouldn’t I be my own friend and refuse to say things like that about myself, too?”


            “Wow.  I mean, you’re right.  I never really thought about it like that before.  You’re pretty smart.”


            “There’s nothing special about me.  I was just lucky enough to hear all that crap from my counselors back in the day.  I started seeing them when I was like twelve because I just happened to have a terrible self image and a single mother without much to focus on but me who wanted to make my father pay for things like counseling just because he was an asshole.  It’s not like I’m this—evolved, or whatever you want to call it, all on my own.  And I called it crap, but this stuff is true, really.  I mean, it all makes sense.  At least, that’s what my therapist tells me.” 


            “I don’t—wow, I really don’t know what to say.  I’m not used to talking to people about stuff like this.  But sometimes people like me need to hear from people like you.  Thanks, I think.”


            “Glad to be of service.  Now let’s try this again.  You’re pretty, Jany.”


            “See, I still don’t really know how to respond, though.  Thanks.  So are you.  Is that better?”


            “Getting there.  Hey, do you wanna go for a ride, maybe grab dinner somewhere?”


            They had dinner at place that Selena knew, where the food was really great and the room was dark enough that no one noticed Jany’s face flush when Selena pulled her chair out for her.  Selena ordered a glass of wine and offered one to Jany as well, and Jany accepted even though she hated wine, because it seemed like wine might dull the minor twinges of panic she was feeling over sharing such an intimate, almost romantic dinner with Selena. 


            Jany thought her nerves must be buzzing audibly by the time Selena delivered her home.  Somehow, though, she found the courage to speak.


            “Selena?  Would you take it the wrong way if I asked if you wanted to come upstairs for a while?  Watch TV or something?  It’s still early and I don’t feel like sitting around by myself all night.  I’m kind of—well, I just really don’t feel like being alone.”


            “If, by take it the wrong way, you mean think you’re trying to seduce me, then no.  I promise.  No expectations.  And I’d love to hang out some more.”


            The pair settled on Jany’s couch and found an old Kevin Costner movie to watch.  When it was over, an infomercial came on and they watched it without really paying attention.


            “Hey, Jany?” Selena finally said.  “I have to get going pretty soon, but—well, I mean—you said you didn’t have anything against—and you weren’t sure if you were bi—and so maybe you should just—well, if you want to try, I’d like to—you have really great lips—” 


            Jany felt the blood drain from her face, and the room started spinning as Selena leaned toward her.  When their lips touched, Jany jerked back, instantly and involuntarily.


            “I’m sorry!”  The blood rushed back into Jany’s face and pounded in her ears.  It made it difficult to concentrate on what she was trying to say.  “I wasn’t—rejecting you or whatever.  I was just surprised.  I—god, I don’t know what to do or say, but I didn’t mean to make you feel bad or anything.”


            Jany turned sideways so that she was sitting upright on the couch, one knee tucked in front of her, facing Selena.  Selena was looking at the TV and Jany easily recognized the look on her face—it was an expression of expressionlessness.  The same one Jany wore almost constantly so she wouldn’t feel vulnerable.  She decided that there was only one way to make it up to Selena, and only one way to satisfy her curiousity.


            Before she could change her mind, Jany leaned forward and placed her lips on Selena’s for just a second.  Then she sunk back into the couch.


            “That was scary,” she said quietly, then waited for Selena’s reaction.  Selena didn’t offer one.  Instead, she remained focused on the infomercial.  Jany stared at the TV, too, but without really paying attention.  Wine or no wine, her nerves had no intention of calming down.


            “How did you like it?” Selena finally asked, when the infomercial ended.


            “It was kinda stupid.  I mean, I wouldn’t pay eighty bucks for something that might—”


            “The kiss, Jany.  You know what I meant.”


            “Oh.  Yeah.  It was—well, let’s just say if it was bad, I wouldn’t be this weirded out.”


            “I know what you mean.”


            “I’m sorry.  I really didn’t mean to pull away like that the first time.  God, this is weird for me, mostly because it’s not as weird as I thought it would be.  I—do I have to decide what it all means right now, Selena?”


            “Hell, no.  Shit takes time.”


            “Yeah.  See, the thing is, I’ve met a lot of guys.  I mean, a lot.  And I’ve never had a second date with any of them.  I’ve just gone out with them and not liked them, but that might have been my fault because I’m a basket case, or I’ve been afraid of them, or I’ve just not had the guts to contact them again.  I figured they’d get a hold of me if they liked me, but maybe they didn’t know if I liked them and that’s why they didn’t.  I’m not very good at letting people know I like them.  But I like you.  I feel more comfortable with you than with any of them even though I’m scared to death, and I don’t know if it’s because you’re a girl or because you’re a girl, or just because I like you, and I just don’t feel like I know anything right now.”


            “Well, I know that I like you, girl or not.  I’d like to see you again.  But maybe what you should do is contact some of those guys again.  The ones you kinda liked.  And we can see each other more, too.  Instead of making it a mission to just date all kinds of people until you find a good one, make it your mission to find the good things in the people you date.  Maybe that’ll help you, like, figure things out or whatever.”


            “Maybe.  I could try.  It’s really scary for me contacting people though.  I’m kind of a mess.  You are way smarter than me with all this stuff—what makes you so smart when I’m such a dunce?”


            “I told you: lots of therapy!”



Thanks for reading

From the Plus Side with Emily Smiltneck


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Good 4 U Food

Recipes for Good... Healthy Food

By: Xander - The Food Dude


Hope and Change

by Xander The Food Dude


If you want to be able to change your life, then you must do something that you have not been doing up until this point. Jim Rohn said it best when he said, "For things to change, you must change." The people who are able to create the life that they want despite their circumstances are the people who are able to get themselves to do what is necessary long enough to see their dreams become a reality. If you currently have a life that makes you unhappy or unsatisfied, then in order to change it, you must take a new set of actions. In this article, I will share with you a couple of tips to help you create a different outcome than the one you are currently heading towards.

Change Your Mind Change Your Life

The first thing you will need to change is your beliefs about what you can or cannot accomplish. I'm not only talking about money here. I'm talking about anything and everything that is important to you. If you want a wonderful relationship, then you must first believe that it's possible. If you want a successful career, then you must first believe that it's within your reach. Belief is a powerful thing, so powerful that if you believe you were meant to live a mediocre life, then that fate will be set in stone, at least in your mind.

So how do you change your belief about what is possible? The first thing you need to do is understand what a belief is. A belief is simply a feeling of certainty. When you believe something, you are certain that it is true. When you don't believe something, you are certain that it's not true or you're uncertain that it's true. Understanding this will help you see realize that whether you think something is possible or impossible doesn't necessarily depend on reality. It all depends on what you perceive as reality.

There was story about a bright student who took an intelligence test. Upon seeing his score, he was shocked to find out how low his score was. This caused him to believe that he was not a bright student and that he was incapable of doing well in school even though he has always been an A student. After this teacher saw a huge drop in his grades, he had a talk with him to see what was going on. It turned out, the student misinterpreted the score. Not only did he actually have a high score, it was one of the highest scores in the nation. Upon learning this, his grades immediate shot back up again.

The point of the story is to show you how powerful a belief can be. You can either use it to destroy your life or use it to propel yourself to new heights.

How to Change Your Life

So how can you use this to change your life? What you need to do is to find ways to increase your belief of what is possible for yourself. You can do this in several ways. The first way is to start reading positive books and listening to positive audio programs. In essence what you are doing is brainwashing yourself into believing you are capable of a better life. This may sound like a bad thing but it's not.

If you believe that you are mediocre and that your life will never amount to anything, then trust me, you were brainwashed. What you need to do is reverse that effect by feeding your mind with words of encouragement and empowerment. When you constantly do this, you will eventually start to believe more and more in yourself and what you are truly capable of accomplishing in your life.

There are a lot of different books that can help start you on the right path. One book off the top of my head is, "The Power of Positive Thinking." Another book is, "Unlimited Power." This book will change your life but only if you use what is taught in the book.

Once you start believing that you are capable of doing far more with your life than you have shown up until this point, you will start to take a new set of actions. To do this, you must first know your outcome. This means you need to set new goals. When the belief that you have in yourself is low, you will tend to set low and uninspiring goals. These are goals that you may not even bother working towards since they don't inspire you. Even if you do achieve them, you won't be all that thrilled.

When the belief you have in yourself gets stronger, you will start to set the goals you really want to achieve. These are the inspiring goals that will help change your life even if you don't reach them. You see, the biggest benefit in setting and working on your goals isn't obtaining them. The biggest benefit you will get is the skills, knowledge, and new habits you pick up along the way. It's what the pursuit of the goal will make of you that's important.

Change Your Fate, Change Your Life

So in conclusion, to change your life, you need to first change your beliefs of what is possible for you. Start surrounding yourself with people who are more successful and happier than you are. Their mentality and habits will start to rub off on you. You will start thinking differently. Change your thoughts change your life.

How long does it take to change your life? Can you change your life in seven days? How about a month? The answer is your life will change the second you start doing things you have never done before. Every action you take is a cause set in motion that will literally change the current path that you are on and will therefore change your destiny. You can control your fate by changing the decisions you make and the actions you take. The power to believe in yourself is the power to change your fate and to change your life.


Xander's Recipe of the Month


Smothered Chicken for the Soul



  • 1/2 cup butter
  • 1 whole chicken, cut into pieces
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
  • 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
  • 3 cups chopped yellow onions
  • 1 cup chopped celery
  • 3 cloves garlic, chopped
  • 2 cups chopped carrots
  • 3 cups chicken broth
  • 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
  • 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
  • 2 teaspoons salt
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper



1.    Melt the butter in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Season chicken pieces with 1 teaspoon salt and 1/2 teaspoon pepper. Dredge in 3/4 cup flour, place in the skillet, and brown on all sides. Set chicken aside, and drain skillet, reserving about 1 tablespoon butter.

2.    Reduce skillet heat to medium-low, and stir in onions, celery, garlic, and carrots. Cook 5 minutes, until tender. Stir in the flour, and cook 5 minutes more. Pour in the chicken broth, season with cayenne pepper, and remaining salt and pepper. Bring to a boil, and reduce heat to low.

3.    Return chicken to the skillet, cover, and continue cooking 30 minutes, until chicken juices run clear and gravy has thickened


Thank you for Reading Good Food 4U

By Xander the Food Dude

Please send thoughts and comments to

Big Girls on the Red Carpet


Cher Rue is an actress, writer and producer. Starting out with writing "Dear Cher" she knew she loved helping other people. Being plus size all her life this was where she knew her calling was.

Cher was seen on "Dr.Phil, "Good Morning America", "Entertainment Tonight", "Russian, British, Japanese, and Viet Vietnamese Television". Also a documentary filmed at the Las Vegas Bash on the Travel channel, and Current TV, a online station, with numerous radio interviews talking about size acceptance.
You can also see a recurring show "Secret Lives of Women" seen on the We channel "Women's entertainment".

Cher was recently in a new movie "Forever Plaid" coming out soon.

Cher is now involved with mainstream "Hollywood" and charity events showing that beauty comes in all sizes
it is what is inside that counts.

Cher has always loved seeing others happy and helping others to find their inner self and beauty.
Ten years ago, she found the plus size community and she knew this is where she would focus on helping others who were like her and had some of her experiences and pain that she went through.

Peoples Choice Awards - Post Celebration Party and Charity Event
Article by: Cher Rue



This event was to help raise awareness for kids with cancer and helping them survive it one smile at a time. At this time, monetary donations and or gift cards (Target, Home Depot, Walmart, Bed Bath and Beyond, or Visa Gift cards) to help facilitate them was brought to the event.


(Beverly Hills, Ca) On Wednesday Jan 6th 2010,Life on Wilshire,  hosted to the Peoples choice Awards post celebration party to benefit Britticares International Foundation.

 BrittiCares International is a 501 ( C ) ( 3 ) nonprofit organization committed to finding new and better ways to improve the quality of life for children who have been diagnosed with cancer. The inspiration of the organization came from a little girl named Brittiana Henderson who was first diagnosed with Osteogenic Sarcoma (bone cancer) and later developed leukemia where she fought courageously, without complaining, while assisting other children with cancer to defeat the pernicious disease. Although Brittiana’s battle against Leukemia came to an end, the efforts of BCI have not diminished. BCI wishes to raise funds and public awareness to combat this disease. The purpose of the funds will go toward research and development, where BCI will work shoulder to shoulder with oncologists, surgeons, and nutritionists. The funds will also help to create a safe haven for young people with cancer where hugs are overflowing, smiles are infectious, and dreams become a reality. With funds raised, BCI will provide patients with an ‘Imagine Me’ bedroom makeover or a celebration party of choice, and offer families social, emotional and financial support. Annually, BCI will host Brittiana’s Smile for Life walkathon, evoking an atmosphere that displays new beginnings, fostering hope, tied to optimism which will impact people from all walks of life.

This event was to help raise awareness for kids with cancer and helping them survive it one smile at a time.
In addition, for those that are interested, blood donations were welcome year round. Contact BrittiCares at

323-423-8003, or via e-mail at

Britticares International is a non profit organization whose founders have personally experienced the life of a child diagnosed with cancer.

 Many of Britticares Celebrity Supporters and well wishers  attend the event. Special performance by The Good Life R&B Sensation Donnie Athens and Destenee! Celebrity guests included CC Perkinson, Chris Winters, DeeDee Bigelow, Pamela Hasselhoff, David Levi, Cher Rue,

In this photo: Sagar Parekh

Sabrina A. Paris, Sophie Turner, Lorrie Arias, Kìer Mellour, Karla Guy, Ron Chevalier, Pepper Mayshay etc.

The party was jamming, with people chatting, eating and learning about the kids who needed help. BrittiCares needs everyones support so what ever you can do will be appreciated. Representatives from the charity went around passing out flyers and telling the crowd about kids and what they do for them. A lot of special people came out to support the cause. A great event by Eric Zuley and Devon, thanks for all you do!

Pamela Bach Hasselhoff




Thanks for reading Big Girls on the Red Carpet


Sonya L. Bennett, (also known as “Truthfulblkwoman”) is a 38 year old, black female, single with no children living in Detroit, Michigan.  She is the youngest of a set of fraternal female twins, with a older sister.  Sonya lives with being the larger twin, and discovered people always presumed that they would look alike in SOME way... Even though fraternal twins don't necessarily look alike.  Always being the heavier of the two, people (family, associates, friends) were quick to point it out. She grew to realize an outer appearance is what people judge you on initially.  As a college-educated freelance court stenographer, it never occurred to her that size would prohibit her from receiving work.  In the legal world, the “eye candy” usually didn’t fill UP the corner.


In 2007, Sonya was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes; a generational curse that she had prayed to avoid, but didn’t worry about while she piled butter pecan ice cream on her German Chocolate Cake.    Only a few months into this diagnosis, she woke up one morning unable to walk and in excruciating pain in her left foot.  Doctors finally diagnosed an acute tendonitis, exacerbated by uncontrolled diabetes.  That was the wake-up call, She had suffered for years with high cholesterol and sleep apnea; all associated with her weight,  it wasn’t until this happened (wheelchair bound for a month and on crutches following that) did she tell herself "I have to do something about my weight."  On April 17, 2008, Sonya had the gastric bypass medical weight loss procedure and it was the best decision that she made for herself.  In these upcoming writings, Sonya invites you to learn the ups and downs of gastric bypass: through the eyes of one who lives it every day.


Continuing in a "Normal" Environment

with Sonya Bennett

After a six-week hiatus from work and being in a controlled environment, it’s a true transition to return to one of the ‘scenes of the crime’, as it were; where my sedentary lifestyle contributed to some of my weight gain. The convenient cafeteria, the quick store in the building with those ten-cent-cinnamon candies and, of course, people who knowingly or unknowingly want you to fall back into old habits, which equals adding that weight back on.

It truly takes will-power. The gastric bypass is a tool like none other; if it is not used, it will not be successful. So many believe it is a “magic pill” that forces you to lose weight and, in comparison, it is an incredible resource.

The surgery does what diligent dieting over time does: shrinks your stomach and prohibits you from overeating; the surgery accomplishes this feat faster: in a three-hour procedure versus a three-month tenure. I have completed many diet programs and, when you eat less, your stomach desires less; of course, the things THAT you eat have a lot to do with it, too. Coming back to work has placed me in an atmosphere of receiving encouragement from people who also are ready to criticize.

My first lunch back: I brought half a can of chicken noodle soup. I barely finished it and my co-workers couldn’t believe it. “Food is so overrated now” I continuously say because it isn’t the focus of my day anymore. Food is supposed to be energy; we, unfortunately, have turned it into so many other “hats”: social occasions, comforters, rewards and those things are never small. Over the years, I’ve often heard that “six, small meals” per day will keep you satisfied and help to control hunger and it really is true.

I have changed the way I eat. Every morning, I drink eight ounces of juice mixed with whey protein. Protein used to be frowned upon because of its gritty taste and non-dissolving formula but, as with everything, it has improved. When I have time, I pull out the blender and blend frozen or fresh fruit in with the mixture to make it more filling. Lunch now consists of soup or a breadless sandwich. A local sandwich shop, Jimmy John’s, offers an “unwich” which is meat and cheese wrapped in lettuce. Since bread is not agreeing with me at the moment, this is a perfect solution; one of their six-inch “Unwich”s lasts me for lunch and dinner. Dinner is a mini bag of popcorn; not a great solution, however, it’s filling and sends me to bed feeling like I’ve had a full meal.

Join me next month as I explore the different menus that have now become more than a “diet”, they are now a lifestyle.

With March being the beginning of Spring, should you desire that hour-glass figure for yourself or your Sweetie , visit my site at: and send a note with any questions.



Thanks for reading

The Big GB - My Gastric Bypass Memoirs

Sonya's Links:

Sonya Bennett on Facebook


     Tales of a Happy Fat Girl is the story of one girl’s journey towards size acceptance in a positive light. Estrelia Mateo was born and raised in Miami, Florida. She began writing poetry and short stories in middle school as way to deal with the teasing and bullying she received due to her weight. She has won numerous awards for writing including being nominated for the Silver Knight Awards in Journalism by the Knight-Ridder Foundation.


     Estrelia is also one of the founding members of Chi Zeta Theta Sorority, Inc. Chi Zeta Theta Sorority, Inc. is a multi-cultural sisterhood with the purpose of uplifting, encouraging and empowering the plus size woman. Estrelia currently resides in Boca Raton, FL.


Fabulous and Thick

with Estrelia Mateo


   Now that you have heard my tragic story of how my fat girl cherry was popped. Here is the story about how I became a Happy Fat Girl. So after getting through elementary and middle school with lots of scrapes and bruises because I didn't take people teasing lying down. I was an angry fat girl and I figured to quote the Fabulous Ms. Mo'Nique if I couldn't be a stick, then baby I could be a stone.

I had escaped all the kids I went to school with by going to a magnet school in the suburbs but after getting really sick and having to drop out of the program I ended up back in my home school with all my tormentors. After my mom registered me I literally cried the whole way home. The thought of having to face all again was just too much and the worst part was that my best friends were at my other school so I had lost my Fat posse. FYI: A Fat posse is a group of true friends that always have your back and see nothing wrong with good buffet. For the first couple of weeks I was like the walking dead. I hated being there and it didn't take long before I had to deal with Fat girl moments every where I turned. My personal favorite is when a group of boys would make elephant sounds as I walked by in the halls. (Boom, Boom, Boom)

My only solace was my journalism class with my favorite teacher, Ms. E. She was an ex-hippie who really liked working in a inner city school and she didn't care that she was one of the few white teachers on staff. She always encouraged me to write what I felt and she let me have full reign on the op/ed page. In her class I got my confidence back and I became more acclimated to school. The topping on the cake was I convinced my best friends to transfer schools so I had my Fat posse again. I was doing pretty good, I mean I still had to deal with crap but it looked like it might be slowing down.

Then one day it happened I had the ultimate Fat girl moment that lead to the biggest catalyst of my life. After brutal incident involving a kid kicking my chair from under me and making me crash to the floor all while making a bomb dropping sound, I lost it. So I ran to my journalism class to seek some comfort and that’s when Ms. E suggested I write about how all the teasing and ridicule made me feel. I looked at her like she was crazy. She wanted me to put my feelings out there so that they could more ammo against me. Then she told me a big secret about herself and she offered to write a piece about her own experiences anonymously, of course. So I did it. I wrote about how hard it was to be myself when everyone else made sure to make me feel like a freak. I mean I was just Fat and no amount of teasing was going to change that and when it was all said and done they were missing out on a pretty awesome person because they couldn't see pass the weight.

One week later the article came out and as I was walking down the hallways of school I noticed everyone reading the paper. I guess what helped is that right next to my article was a story about being gay in high school written anonymously, of course. When I walked into my first class of the morning I was greeted with applause. I was freaking shocked. All day people kept telling me how much they liked my piece and that they didn't know how I felt. It was crazy, I even had people tell me their own stories about being picked on. That day I went home and I took a long look in the mirror and realized that I needed to do what I wrote in that article. I needed to love me , all of me and to accept the fact that I am a Fat girl and I am better for it. After that the teasing pretty much stopped and I became the Happy Fat Girl everyone knows today.



Thanks for reading Tales of a Happy Fat Girl

     Founded in 1969, NAAFA is a non-profit civil rights organization dedicated to improving the quality of life for fat people. NAAFA works to eliminate discrimination based on body size and provide fat people with the tools for self-empowerment through public education, advocacy, and member support.

     This Column is dedicated to the tremendous work NAAFA has been doing for over four decades.  LargeInCharge wishes to support NAAFA in spreading the word of its work, and give the public more information into issues we as plus sized people should be aware of.  The fight for equality for people of all sizes is one we support.


     This Column will include News Releases and Calls to Action from NAAFA Directors.


This Column has been Approved by


The Heaviest Hand




The Heaviest Hand

Sure, many kids today are overweight. But the obesity police are stepping over
the line.

By Jennifer Graham | February 28, 2010

It took less than two minutes to weigh and measure my son, not a big deal in a
six-hour school day. Galen got on the scale without protest. At 4 foot 10, he
weighs about 88 pounds, which, according to his pediatrician, is normal for a
10-year-old boy. Getting weighed -- whether at school, the doctor's office, or
the weight-height-and-horoscope machine at the service plaza -- is no great
trauma for a beanstalk of a boy. And fourth-graders, as a species, are generally
amenable to whatever grown-ups ask them to do. They have not yet learned that
challenging authority is normal and rewarding and usually not fatal, unless you
happen to live in Iran.

Galen has a modicum of manners, which is why it would never occur to him that
the logical thing to do, when asked for one's measurements outside of a doctor's
office or a Weight Watchers meeting, would be to harrumph "That, ma'am, is none
of your business" and indignantly flounce out of the place. Better to offend a
few bureaucrats than to one day find your vital stats on the Web.

Because that, course unchanged, is where we're headed. The heavy hand of the
obesity police is upon us, and it wants to know the circumference of our waists.
It used to be that only the cool skinny kids wore Levis, their waist size
stamped on the back for all the world to see. In the future, all trousers will
declare our measurements; they will be our licenses to eat.

If you think this is overreaching, I have two words for you: Google Earth. Just
a decade ago, we would have chortled at the idea that photographs of our
backyards, taken without our knowledge or permission, would be accessible to
anyone on the Internet. No one's laughing now. From our backyards to our
backsides, it's not that far of a stretch.

Massachusetts schools have weighed and measured our children since the 1950s,
but this is the first year that they have calculated their body mass indexes and
put the information in their files. The purpose of collecting BMIs, the school
nurse said in a letter, is to give us, the ignorant parents, "information about
your child's weight status and ideas for living a healthy life."

This might be useful information if my children attended a boarding school in
Beverly Hills. As it stands, they live with me, and, as the purchaser and
launderer of their blue jeans, I have a pretty good grasp of their "weight
status." As do the schools. All fourth-graders must have a physical, whether
they play sports or not. Don't ask how I know this, but if they don't have a
current physical on file, the school will threaten to kick the child out.

So, not only are the schools wasting time compiling information they already
have, but they also then use it to lecture parents about stuff we already know.
Is there any person older than 12 who couldn't write a fact-infested article
titled "Ideas for Living a Healthy Life"? Even the morbidly obese know how to
lose weight; it's not information we lack.

Which makes the federal government's plan to spend $650 million to combat
obesity and smoking nothing but so much pork. Michelle Obama, who has two
slender daughters and spends a lot of time in sleeveless shifts, has taken on
childhood obesity as her cause. Terrific, everyone's against fat kids. One in
three American children is overweight, as are two-thirds of our nation's adults.

But obesity is not a group problem and can't be solved by committee. A byproduct
of prosperity in a culture of excess, it will persist as long as food, leisure,
and farm subsidies are abundant -- or until Mississippi and Alabama secede.
Someday there may be a vaccine. In the glory that is capitalism, there are
multitudes of scientists, nutritionists, and lab rats working on this problem
each day. Until then, it is a matter of individual resolve.

Apologies to Tolstoy, but every fat person is fat in his or her own way. One is
overweight because of an overbearing mother; another because of an
underperforming thyroid; another because (ahem) she likes butter pecan ice cream
too much. The obesity police can yammer on about health risks and insurance
pools and looming costly diseases, and we'll go right on eating our cannoli.
Mrs. Obama and the public schools can't thin the herd; the herd has to thin
itself. What the government can and should do is defend our liberties and
respect our privacy, or else the Biggest Loser is us.\


Thanks for reading

From the Desk of NAAFA



Our WebGirl Lucia Roth, was born in New Orleans, Louisiana. Graduated with a B. A. degree in Communication from Southeastern Louisiana University and is considering going back for her Masters degree. Lucia a people person and is always willing to help out a friend in need. She enjoys music, movies, poetry, and good book on a rainy day. Lucia has several mottos about life.

This is one: Knowledge talks, wisdom listens.



The WebGirl Picks of the Month

Fashion Find Product of the Month

Fashion Find by: Lucia

Fashion Type: Clearance Sale

Why I Like this Item: Some of us girls are hard to fit… Well I know I am. You may be thinking “I just can’t find that perfect outfit.” Well! Right now Generous Fashions is having Clearance Sale. Comfortable and classy 1x-5x

Generous Fashions -
Recommender: Lucia

Name of Product: Ojon

Type of Product: Shampoo and Conditioner
Cost of Product: $ 25-75.00
Where Product can be found:

I truly love Ojon’s products. Ojon prides itself on giving the customer the best value for their money. Plus their products are all natural ingredients and my hair feels awesome!

Thanks for coming to Fashion & Products with the WebGirl


Candace Lane (C.L.) is a 24-year-old plus sized artist from Illinois, where she was born and raised. She is a graduate of Proviso East High School. Candace is a certified Patient Care Technician who is experienced in the medical field.

C.L. now works in technical support for a major electronics manufacturer. C.L. is currently pursuing a bachelorette degree in Mixed Media Art. Her artwork has been featured in local artist competitions. Candace considers herself a spiritual person. Being the oldest of four siblings gave her courage to lead and the wisdom to know when to follow.  As a member of what has been labeled Generation Next, she believes that life is a learning experience and everyone can teach you something; you just have to be willing to learn.

In her free time, she enjoys traveling, art, music, good food and great conversation. Presently she is single, sassy and satisfied with where life is taking her.


A Good Thing

with Candace Lane

I could never be your boyfriend, ‘cause you know I gotta special girl. And I could never be your husband, but that don’t mean you still don’t rock my world- from Be my #2 by R. Kelly.


             From the childhood, we have been taught to be the best- to attain the best. We are number one…You see it at the sporting events, in classrooms, in sales ads, and on TV. Everywhere you turn in America, you will see people striving to be what we have been programmed since birth to be, number one. That is part of the American Dream, isn’t it? A big white house + the picket fence + a husband + two kids and a dog = Happiness. There is no “side chick” in that American Dream equation. So when did it become okay to be someone’s number two? Here you have a man, blatantly telling you that you are not “special” enough to be #1, so why not just take the #2 spot. He found it to be such a great idea that he made a song out of it. The sad thing is that many women seem to think R. Kelly’s idea is right on the money, because more and more of us are content with being someone’s number two.


             You have women from every neighborhood, background, age, race and ethnicity doing the same thing… being someone’s number two or three or four. I can’t tell you how many women I know that have agreed to share a man, myself not excluded from the list. But why? Why do we allow ourselves to NOT be number one? One of my favorite quotes is from Kelly Angard she puts it best as “Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” If God made a man for every woman, then why would he put me here to have to share a man? He who finds a wife finds a good thing- Proverbs 18:22. You are a GOOD thing.


             At least R. Kelly is honest. He told you from the beginning; don’t expect much because it is already promised to someone else. Some women will do almost anything to get a man and just about everything to keep him. We will even sacrifice our dignity, self-respect and souls to have him. And for what? A few nights of sweated sheets and stolen moments for someone to hold us?  Then, you will be right back where you started with a feeling of emptiness and loneliness as he packs his bags to go back to his real life. The life you can never be a part of… If you are not special enough to be a man’s ONLY, why be his anything?


It does not matter if a man is just dating someone. It not okay to be with a man just because he is not married to the woman he is in a relationship with. Number 2 will always be second. And even if he does leave his current woman for you and make you “Number 1”, chances are, if he did it to her, he will do it to you. Women don’t really think about how they would feel if they were in the number one spot. Are you prepared to spend the rest of your life chasing him around, wondering if he has found a new replacement?


Marriage is a home. We do not consider the damage we cause not only to ourselves, but also to his family and to society. When you break up a home, you break people. You break women and their innocent children. You break trust and everything that marriage vows stand for. You break yourself. The other woman is just as responsible for a man’s infidelity as he is. If he did not have anyone to cheat with, he would not be able to cheat. We fear being alone so much that we would sacrifice truly being happy just to have someone to call ours. Ask yourself this, what are you really getting in return? Aren’t you still alone anyway?


In some cases, the women do not know that they are, in fact, the “Plan B” chick. Here you have the number two who thinks she is number one. Well here is a clue… time unaccounted for = cheating… period. There are always signs.  We ignore the red flags and our women’s intuition. We settle, we tell ourselves that it is not happening. He is faithful, he wouldn’t step out on me. Denial sets in and then come the excuses: I gained weight, I nagged him too much, I don’t satisfy him sexually, and my favorite… It’s just what men do. JUST STOP. You do not have the power to make someone cheat on you. He cheated because he is selfish. What is wrong with us that we have such low self-esteem that we believe it’s okay to share a man. Mama said share your toys, not your man. At some point, you have to evaluate your life and yourself to find out how you got to this point and you need to do to get back to sanity.


No matter what he tells you, he had a choice. He could have tried to work it out, or he could have just ended the relationship to start something new. Cheating should not have been the choice. A man gets a number 2 because he wants to have his cake and have you too. Stop settling for number two. You are so much more important than to be someone’s second option. You are worthy of being a good thing to a good man. A borrowed man can never be a good man. You were born already a number one.  Believe it, own it, and embrace it. Is this relationship what you really want? If the answer is no, then now you have to make a choice. Be a Priority.


Be Blessed- C.L.



Thank you for Reading FAT - Free All Thinking

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