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LargeInCharge Magazine - Six Years on the Net!

 Issue#73 - April 2010


Welcome to LargeInCharge Magazine

In this Issue of L.I.C.




Words of Wisdom from the Heart & Mind of Raqui


Big Girls on the Red Carpet  ~ Cher Rue


From the Plus Side ~ Emily Smiltneck

Good 4 U Food  ~ Xander


The Big GB My Gastric Bypass Memoirs - Soyna Bennett


Tales of a Happy Fat Girl ~ Estrelia Mateo


From the Desk of NAAFA

National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance


Fashion & Products with The WebGirl ~ Lucia Roth


Free All Thinking ~ Candace Lane

Reflections from a Plus Sized Sista


LargeInChargeDating - Dating for the Large People who are going to be in Charge of their Love Lives!


LargeInCharge Friends - The Place for Big People to make Friends and maybe MUCH MORE!

The Creator of "BIG MAN" and other forms of Big Art  -  Ron Mueck
Online Resources - compiled by Raqui

Ron Mueck - Big Man, 2000

Ron Mueck has become internationally recognized for his unique realist sculptures that replicate the human figure with unrivalled technical skill. He first became widely known for his sculpture Dead Dad shown in the exhibition Sensation in 1997.

His use of widely different scales would not be considered strange within the conventions of painting but has a particularly strong effect in this realist sculpture. It is part of the artist’s relationship with his subject and the meaning of the work.
Ron Mueck
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

"A Girl" by Ron Mueck (2006)Ron Mueck (born 1958) is an Australian hyperrealist sculptor working in the United Kingdom.

Mueck's early career was as a model maker and puppeteer for children's television and films, notably the film Labyrinth for which he also contributed the voice of Ludo, and the Jim Henson series The Storyteller.

Mueck moved on to establish his own company in London, making photo-realistic props and animatronics for the advertising industry. Although highly detailed, these props were usually designed to be photographed from one specific angle hiding the mess of construction seen from the other side. Mueck increasingly wanted to produce realistic sculptures which looked perfect from all angles.

In 1996 Mueck transitioned to fine art, collaborating with his mother-in-law, Paula Rego, to produce small figures as part of a tableau she was showing at the Hayward Gallery. Rego introduced him to Charles Saatchi who was immediately impressed and started to collect and commission work. This led to the piece which made Mueck's name, Dead Dad, being included in the Sensation show at the Royal Academy the following year. Dead Dad is a rather haunting silicone and mixed media sculpture of the corpse of Mueck's father reduced to about two thirds of its natural scale. It is the only work of Mueck's that uses his own hair for the finished product.

Mueck's sculptures faithfully reproduce the minute detail of the human body, but play with scale to produce disconcertingly jarring visual images. His five metre high sculpture Boy 1999 was a feature in the Millennium Dome and later exhibited in the Venice Biennale.

In 1999 Mueck was appointed as Associate Artist at the National Gallery, London. During this two year post he created the works Mother and Child, Pregnant Woman, Man in a Boat and Swaddled Baby.[1]

In 2002 his sculpture Pregnant Woman[2] was purchased by the National Gallery of Australia for AU$800,000.

Thank you for Reading The LargeInCharge Feature

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Cover model of the Month Interview What is your name?

FAWN Where are you from and what is your current Location?

Denmark, Los Angeles Can you give us some information about yourself (Age, Height, Size, Nationality, Marital Status, Children, etc.)? 


No Children

Animal Rescuer

Irish/Holland/Dutch/English/French decent Were you a big child, or did you gain weight later in life?

I have always struggled with weight, but gained most of my weight in my adult life (If you were a big child) how did you feel growing up as a large child?

I didn’t feel that I fit it, I was always on a diet and constantly exercising-I used to teach 2 aerobics classes a day, 5 days a week.  I felt like I wasn’t good enough and would not amount to anything being overweight, even by being 20 pounds over. I see now however that this pain is what made me who I am today—a very compassionate, understanding and driven person. (If you gained weight later in life) what caused you to gain weight and how did you feel about it?

A combination of 2 things - depression and heart medication.  I did not feel good, I felt hopeless, like a failure and slovenly. What made you decide to enter the LargeInCharge model search? 

My friends encouraged me to go for it. Did you find it a hard journey to be accepted for your size?

Absolutely. If people had accepted me as I was, I would have been fine. I had to find my own way to self-love and acceptance. Do you find acceptance among your family and friends?

Only by close friends, not so much by family, or acquaintances and strangers. What would you say inspires you most in life?

People who are living their life passionately What is your primary job?

Singer/songwriter and recording artist How did you get into this line of work?

I started in national TV commercials at the age of 6 months, then by the time I was 10 I was writing, singing and playing piano and recording jingles for the radio. Do you find acceptance in the work force?

No.  My work force is Hollywood. Yeah…good luck with that!  Haha What changes do you believe should take place for Large People in the work force?

Compassion, understanding, standing up when things are wrong. Being plus size is the last accepted and allowed prejudice in this world! What do you think about the fashion industry for big sized clothing?

The plus size girls are not the norm for regular plus sizers. There are few cute outlets, but it IS getting better. What do you wish to see change with the fashion industry?

Make cute clothes that appeal to all shapes and sizes.  I would like to see more realistic models. What changes do you think will happen if plus sized modeling for men and women were to expand? 

The world would be more broad (no pun intended) minded which would affect all that we do and how we grow as people. Tell us some of the places you buy your clothing from.

Roman’s, Woman Within, Torrid.  Tell us one of your secret beauty tips.

Love yourself from the inside out!  Give us some tips on how to have a successful Photo shoot.  What should models be prepared for?

Be prepared to be there until you get the job done, have a good and happy attitude. Know how to position your body, face, know what poses look best on you and what expressions so you are prepared and it makes it easier and faster for the photographer. Look at Size acceptance five years ago... look at size acceptance now.  What changes do you see?

People in general becoming bolder and in your face about accepting, not just with plus size but with everything. Plus size is now a plus and desired news story. What changes do you think will happen five years from now with size acceptance? 

People will realize that everyone is different and that we should celebrate the differences. I think the differences will be accepted and celebrated. Tell us about your goals as far as modeling and other interests.

My goal is to continue to be who I was born to be and be a LIGHT in the world. I just made it to #6 on the Billboard Dance charts and am currently working on 2 albums at the same time. I plan to continue to place songs in film and TV and also do some more modeling projects, hopefully another calendar shoot soon.  What have you accomplished as a Plus Sized Model?

I have done runway shows, been in 4 calendars, helped others realize they are beautiful, and just shown people as a living example that not all people are overweight because they over eat.  Everyone is different and has a different life story and history.  Have you entered or won and Contests or Pageants?  What was the experience like?

I had entered the Miss Teen Pageant and won a trophy as a young teen. It was tough being overweight and in a pageant with regular sized girls, having to compete against that worldly “thin” standard.  I felt I had to work twice as hard just to be close to equal. Can you tell us about an inspirational moment in your life that made you feel good about your size.

When I was doing a runway show and Carnie Wilson told me backstage that she thought I was beautiful and was going to purchase every design I modeled that night.  Also, when I hit #6 on the Billboard charts and was able to reach thousands of people with my message. Is there a person in your life that makes you keep going?

God, knowing that he loves me and knowing that I was made for a purpose. What advice would you give to other people of size who want to model?

Study, study, study! I have met many a plus-size women who thought they could be a plus-size model, just because they were full-figured, and that is not the case. Modeling is a craft, just like any other talent or career and it takes hard work and dedication to be good at it. What plus size figure do you admire? 

Oprah and Whoopie Goldberg, because they are both just themselves, no matter what. Describe yourself with one word.

Fawntabulous.  LOL……….Giving.


Thanks for reading about our

Cover Model of the Month


     Raqui the Owner and Founder of, Raqui's  "Tell it like it is" style of writing has brought thousands to her blogs and millions to  There is so much behind the woman who has brought this magazine into existence.  Being Internationally known as a wrestler/squasher lead the way to modeling for companies and being featured in magazines and documentaries from all over the world.  She has made a career out of her size and personality. Born, Raised and Residing in the Bronx NYC. This city girl is taking the world by storm.


     For the past 6 years Raqui officially moved into Size Acceptance and Empowerment.  With the creation of LargeInCharge she took what she said to individuals to a higher level and made it public to the internet world. She is a woman who doesn't let things get to her.  Knock her down for the moment but she will rise up stronger and better.  Being a speaker on behalf of many subjects and counseling Plus Sized people online her grace and style has made people love her.  Raqui continues to set an example of a powerful woman who will bend the world to fit her, her way.


     Raqui's appearances include, Uk Television, German TV, Japan, Europe, Sweden and the Spanish circuit.  Her many magazines appearances have been world wide.  She has hit American Television in 2006 with Good Morning American and since has appeared on The Cristina Show,  The Maury Show and The Tyra Banks Show.

To view her Online portfolio visit

Raqui featured on and Glamour Plus - go to Portfolio Section

Raqui-ism - Knowledge is Power, Ignorance is an Excuse!

Written By: Raqui 



 In our lives there are always going to be problems.  We will suffer through many different issues.  We may think we are alone in our struggles, but there is no problem under the sun or over the moon that hasn't been experienced.  We don't always see it at the time but it is true.


      In feeling alone we often choose to not explore our emotions or the situation that we are dissatisfied with.  It can be painful and extremely hard to face.  When something is going badly in our lives the last thing we want to do is focus on the problem.  We want to escape, get away, do anything and everything to not think about the hurtful issues that affect us.


      Sometimes we are scared to realize we are at fault, that we are a large component to our own sadness and dissatisfaction.  If we can continue to blame our situation on other people, we are able to take the focus off of us, and put it on other things or people.  Thus continuing the cycle of unhappiness.


       I live by a certain rule.  "Knowledge is Power and Ignorance is an Excuse!"


      Knowledge is power meaning, when you take the time, to evaluate your life through your eyes and the eyes of others, to sit outside yourself, to research, to learn about what affects you and why gives you power. The Power of Understanding.  The power to correct yourself, to help yourself or get help from others.  You are then able to make better choices in the future.  To make better choices for your life because you can truly understand why you feel the way you do, or do the things you do.  To also be able to understand how other people can feel the same way or differently helps you to understand and relate to many people with different mindsets.


      Ignorance is an Excuse means, when you choose to not gain knowledge, you are in other words giving yourself an excuse to act improperly, and to continue your negative cycle.  When you choose to not gain knowledge you are then accepting your life as it is and choose to not have more.  You choose to stay trapped by your own mind.  You are making an active choice to be Ignorant and thus creating an excuse for later on when you inflict pain on yourself or others with your negativity. 


     I think about in it in terms of a hole,  imagine yourself at the bottom of a hole.  One so deep you cannot get out.  With you at the bottom of this hole you have equipment and the books to read so you can learn how to get yourself out.  But you decide to sit on the bottom and mope, you choose to curse the walls, and everything around you. But yet you will not give yourself the knowledge to help yourself out of this bad situation.  You have chosen ignorance over knowledge.


     You may not be in a actual physical hole, maybe it is an emotional one.  Maybe situations in your life make you feel like your at the bottom of a hole or drowning.  You may not be able to control everything. But you can choose to have Knowledge or Ignorance.  The choice is yours make the right one don't make an excuse. When all else is lost and you are totally unsure. Asking for help is perfectly ok.  It doesn't make you weak or lesser than, It makes you strong.  To reach out when you are unsure so that you can become sure is a sign of maturity.  In the quest for knowledge, especially of ones self the only ignorance is to do nothing.

LargeInCharge Radio - Weekly Radio show discussing Plus Sized Issues.  Friday's 7-9 pm EST - Call in & Chat in our Chat Room.

Raqui's Cool Links  

Raqui's My Space Page

Thank you for Reading Raqui's Spot

Please send thoughts and comments to

Super Sized Sounds




     Super Sized Sounds will be a Music Column that will feature those who are in the industry or up and coming who are size positive. Giving recognition to the plus sized people who are out there and showcasing themselves.  Reviews, Interview, News and more from our new writer Super Sized Spanishfly Lynx.


      Lynx Garcia, also known as "SUPERSIZE SPANISHFLY", is a Latina BBW from Queens NYC.  Lynx is an activist speaking out against size discrimination and began performing back in 1996 at social events for big beautiful women and big handsome males and their admirers. Her special mixture of sound held true as she sang, spat, danced and performed spoken word, soon she was in demand by Big and Beautiful parties nationwide.  Lynx taking her "look" and sound mainstream was rejected because of her size. She did not let this break her spirit, hurt her confidence or minimize her drive. Instead she rose up and started a public access show (LYNX' LAIR) aired in Queens on TIME WARNER QPTV . Combination of comedy and sexy style, she showcased underground artists of all walks of life. The response to her show was less than a year she has showcased many artist, some who moved to bigger and better things.


     Currently Lynx has caught the attention of Joey Mekkah of BLACK SOLARIS ENTERTAINMENT and found herself on the Grandmaster MELLE MEL's SOLO ALBUM "MUSCLES" featured on the hot latin hip-hop track called 'DIMELO", she is the only collaboration on the album. Lynx recently has started her own radio show on EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO.COM  called Ladies Night. EXTRAVAGANGSTARADIO is #1 on the itunes network.





Happy Happy New Year .....2010 is here and in honor of the new decade approaching I decided to give you musical INSPIRATION!. I hope they find a way to soothe your souls and give you all hope for a better tomorrow. And as usual I will provide you all with a new featured artist and a must see events to attend and classes etc.

I am also announcing that as of this day I will be taking a break from submitting articles to LargeInCharge till sometime in the spring. I would like to take this moment to thank you all for following my music column and for sending me so much love and positive energy. I send it right back to you and look forward to bringing you new fresh style and hot music and celebrity interviews (via youtube..oh yeah!) Time to gather resources and strength, wishing you all health, wealth and wellness from the inside out. Viva Gorditas!-

Special side note to Queen Raqui: "Thank you my sister for creating this positive platform for the people of our plus, full-figured and supersize community. Thank you for offering me the opportunity to utilize this platform to do what I love most...share music and pieces of myself, but mostly Raqui.  thank you for being my friend, for always lending an ear and for offering the best advice and for being five times more human than anyone I know with five loving hearts to match. I do love you Queen Raqui. Much success, till I return be well my friend."

ENIGMA "Return To Innocence"-sometimes we have to go backwards and reflect and go back to the beginning of ourselves and experience a spiritual rebirth, may God as you understand God ,The Most High to be fill your paths with love and light.

Michael Jackson "Man In The Mirror"- Before we can change the world we have to look at ourselves and inside ourselves and begin the change from within. Michael Jackson's !989 Grammy performance was that of one who is possessed. Haunts me till this day.

U2-"In The Name Of Love"-isn't everything we do in the name of love. Fight for love, live for love, open your hearts and receive love in your life! Whether it works out or not you will grow from the experience.

DIANA ROSS- "Do You Know Where You're Going To?"- Amazing how one simple question can make you assess your life, your history your place in the universe

WHITNEY HOUSTON- "The Greatest Love Of All"- when you love yourself all is possible.


Featured Artist Audio Submission: Our BBW sista CARMELINA featured in The Bollywood Movie "QURBAAN" here is her song "Starride To Heaven"



Featured Artist Video Submission from BBW Admirer and Supporter: SUPA NOVA SLOM "Purify Or Die" "So Sick So Sick of being sick and tired!" Wepa... Pura Vida! Pure Life... energy... loving the message, not preachy but right on time. He loves us fuller gals and we love him back! Can he tickle us with his feathers? I'm just saying.. lol... enjoy the yummy eye candy! Be inspired to be well... it's about being here longer. healthy at any size.

Be sure to look out for our homie Nova on Bill Cosby Presents "The Cosnarati" State Of Emergency - Hip=Hop album (support positive music) available on itunes
Also look out for his book 2010 "The Remedy" and join his social network at 


I have been hearing so much about this play, I am happy to announce I am finally going to see it! Won't you join me...hit me up and let me know if you're attending so we can say hi!



EXCITING UPCOMING WORKSHOP: Ooh Whee, this one is definitely interesting. My dear friend world renowned artist LILO KINNE will be conducting TANTRA workshops. I will be attending as well. Reasonable rates people of all colors ,shapes and sizes welcome!



Please call for information: 1 (646) 500 9820 (let her know Lynx Garcia sent you for reasonable rate)

LILO KINNE practices TANTRA which TRANSFORMS SEX INTO LOVE-MAKING. The experiences attained through the UNIFICATION OF SPIRIT, MIND & BODY are magnificent.






Want to send in your Voice in for review? Are you a singer, rapper, or poet who performs spoken word?  Up and Coming, already established?  Contact Lynx through her Myspace page or email and all information will be forwarded to her (PUT "FOR LYNX" IN THE SUBJECT AREA) 

You must be a Size Positive Artist, or a Plus Sized Supporter.

Thanks for reading

Super Sized Sounds with Lynx


Lynx Cool Links

From the Plus Side


Emily Smiltneck

     From the Plus side will be column dedicated to short stories that deal with all aspects of Plus size Life.  Emily Smiltneck was chosen for this position because of her dedication, and realistic writing style. She captures the emotional and mental rollercoaster those who are Plus Sized go through.


     Emily Susanne Smiltneck lives in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan (pretty much dead center in the middle of nowhere). She is a substitute teacher, and has recently started a tutoring business. Emily is currently working on several writing projects, including a historical fiction novel and several collections of poetry.

Emily Smiltneck receives recognition in Neighbors Daily Press - See article below


     It is a great joy when our fellow Plus Sized people receive recognition for their life's work.  Join me in this Joyous moment when one of our LargeInCharge writers is seen for her contribution and great dedication to her goals in life.  Click the images above to read the article about our dear Emily. When the page open click on the article to zoom in and read it.


The Adventures of Phatgurl

by Emily Suzanne Smiltneck  


The Adventures Of Phatgurl is a serial collection of stories about the adventures of Jany, a plus-sized young woman who, in desperation, places an ad on a personals website.  As she embarks on her dates, she meets many different kinds of men who expect many different things from her.  Some of her adventures are wildly amusing and others are more serious and even sad. 


If you have any ideas or experiences, funny or otherwise, that you would like to see depicted in a future Phatgurl story, please e-mail me at  I will do my very best to incorporate all reader ideas into future columns.  Thanks!


The Ad (Part 2)

SWSSBBW seeks SM who will not rape her, emotionally or otherwise.  The ability to both speak and write in complete sentences is a plus.  Must not inadvertently throw her down stairs or pretend that she is “Mama.”  Intelligent conversation, a little respect, and the lack of a current significant other will get you far.  And a well-developed sense of humor won’t hurt, either.  If you like smart chicks with jelly bellies and thunder thighs, reply to


Candidate 2.8: The Woman - continued


Jany nervously pushed the intercom button by her door.

            “Come on up.”  Then she turned to Mala, who was draped over her couch.  “Don’t say anything about her being a lesbian.  Or bi or whatever.  And don’t talk about the fact that I went out with her.  In fact, don’t say anything at all unless you’re asked a direct question, ‘kay?”

            “I’m pretty sure she already knows she’s a lesbian, but I’m not gonna suggest any of us go hop in the sack or anything, so you need to just chill the hell out already.  Relax.  I’m sure I’ll get along with your little plaything—sorry, with this Selena chick—just fine.”


            Jany glared at Mala and then tried to recompose herself when she heard a knock at the door.  She let Selena in.

            “Hey, good to see you again!  And you must be Mala.  I’m Selena.  How’s it going?”  Selena’s whirlwind of chatter and obvious lack of nerves, and Mala’s lack of nerves, too, finally calmed Jany a little.

            “Come on in, have a seat,” she managed, then shoved Mala’s legs off the couch and sat down.  Selena dropped an armload of bags on the floor and collapsed onto the recliner.

            “So, girls, what’s up?  This is so cool.  It’s been, like, forever, since I’ve been to a slumber party.”

            “I bet you loved sleepovers with your girlfriends when you were—” Mala began, but stopped when Jany’s elbow landed firmly on the center of her belly.  She rolled her eyes and continued.  “A kid.  I know I did, but it’s been so long I can hardly remember.”

            “Yeah.  Those were the good ol’ days.  So what’s the plan?”

            “Yeah, what’s the plan?” Jany echoed.  “I’m just here because Mala said I should be.”

            “Um, and ‘cause you live here.  You said you and Selena had a little convo about how you should see some of the guys you went out with again, but you didn’t seem too sure, so I thought the three of us could get together and set out a plan.  Simple as that.”

            “Well, do you still have the, like, responses or whatever, from the guys?  Like, the letters you got and stuff?”


            “Then it seems like we should start by looking over those.”

            Jany got her laptop from her bedroom and the three women all settled on the couch.  Jany logged in to, went to her inbox, and scrolled back to the very first letter she’d received.  She began to read the letter out loud, but her face flushed and she stopped after the first sentence.

            “So is this a good silent pause or a bad silent pause?”  Selena peered over Jany’s shoulder to read the message on the screen.

            “I—I think a bad one.  I don’t want to see this guy again.  I can’t.  I was so stupid.”

            “Oh, shut up, Jany.  You were fine.  Tell us about him.”

            “I lost my virginity to him.”  Jany was barely whispering.  “And I didn’t want to.”

            Mala and Selena spoke at once:

            How old were you when you placed this ad?”

            “He raped you?”

            “It was like a year and a half or two years ago.  Not everyone’s a supertramp like you, Mala, if you’ll forgive me for saying so.  I was trying to hold out for love.  Not that there was anyone trying to convince me to mess around anyway.  And no, he didn’t exactly rape me.  I didn’t say no.  I wanted to, though, I was just too scared.  I wanted someone to like me, let me feel like a woman for once.”

            “Well, you definitely gotta see him again.”  Mala challenged Selena with her eyes, waiting for an argument.  She got one.

            “I don’t think she does need to see him again.  He practically raped her!”

            “She gotta see how far she’s come since then, if she can handle this guy now.”

            “No, she doesn’t.  I know exactly what my therapist would say if I was in this situation.  This guy obviously didn’t have her best interest in mind and he’ll totally mess with her self esteem.”

            “But if she goes back and seduces him now, think of the power she’ll have.”

            “It’s dangerous!  Are you, like, totally not listening?  He practically raped her.”

            “She didn’t say no.  Not rape if you don’t say no.”

            “It can be, yes it can!  If a woman feels pressured into sex, it’s just as good as rape!”

            “She was young and immature.  Sleeping with him was the right thing to do.”

            “You are horrible!”

            “Hey, you guys?  I’m sitting right here!”

            Mala and Selena stopped fighting and turned toward Jany.  They both had the grace to flush a little. 

            “It wasn’t really rape.  I didn’t give him a single indication that I wanted to say no.  But he was all touchy-feely and grabby right away.  Like right away.  He didn’t even take me to dinner first, like he said he was going to.”

            “Okay, well, to be fair, a lot of guys are like that.  Most of them only think about one thing.  Which is why it is our responsibility as women, Mala, to refuse to give our attention to the ones who don’t respect us.”

            “I still think she—you—should see him again.  Because what if he’s a really good guy who just likes sex?  He was sure as hell attracted to you.  Why wouldn’t you want to see him again?  Come on.  Maybe we could double date so it’d be safer or whatever.”

            “Double date?  Like you’d bring one of your harem along?  That might be dangerous.”

            “No, no, no.  I meant me and Selena and you and this guy.”

            “Bob.  And I really don’t think that would be the best idea.  Having dinner with lesbians would most likely be too much for him.  He’d probably wind up humping someone’s leg under the table or something.”

            “I’m not a lesbian, I’m just an equal opportunity—”

            “I know what you are, Mala, and you know very well what I mean.”

            “Well, then, invite him to be your date to my next gallery show or something.  We’ll be here, or I will anyway. it’ll be safe, and you can find out if he’s really an asshole or if you were just too inexperienced to deal with him last time.”

            “Okay, okay, I’ll put him on the maybe list.”  Jany returned her attention to the computer and looked at the next response.

            “No to this guy, Michael.  He lives clear across the country and I still talk to him all the time, but he won’t meet me.”

            “Mala, did you just see her face when she read that guy’s message, the way it, like, lit all up?  She is totally in love with him!”

            “Oh, she is.  She talks about him constantly.”

            “Girls, I’m still in the room!  Yes, I do kinda have a thing for him, but it’s a moot point.  Moving on.”

            “Okay, fine, but I think you need to put some pressure on Michael.  He might be “the one’.”

            “I’ll keep that in mind, but for the sake of this project or whatever it is, he goes on the no list.  Okay, what do you guys think about this guy?  I went to a dance with him and he accidentally threw me down the stairs.  Completely oblivious, boring, super awkward, but also a really, really nice guy, and polite.  I definitely don’t foresee any romance between us, but I might like to see him again.  You know, be friends or whatever.”

            “Nah, toss him.  He sounds abusive.”

            “No, it was really an accident.  I’m not saying that in an abused woman who doesn’t want to admit it kind of way, he is just completely clueless.”

            “Didja feel a spark?”

            “No, no spark.  I just sort of feel sorry for him.  And he is intelligent, which is hard to find in a guy.”

            “He’s a no, then.  Call him up and hang with him or whatever, but you have to make it abso-freakin’-lutely clear you’re not gonna sleep with him.”

            “That would be great, Mala.  If I even suggested I had thought about sleeping with him, the poor guy’d pee his pants.  But you’re right.  As far as dating goes, he’s a no.”

            “Jany, how many of these dudes do you have?  ‘Cause, like, so far, you’ve got one barely maybe and two nos.  Are there any guys that even might be yeses?”

            “Yeah, just wait.  I didn’t set my sights very high in the beginning.  It gets better.  I mean, look at this guy.  He wanted to call me Mama and started playing with himself while we were watching TV.”


            “Oh, yeah.  He was great.  If I ever decide I want to date an infant, he’s the guy for me.”

            “Puh-lease tell me he’s a no?”

            “Without a doubt.  Oh, and Jamesh!  I forgot all about Jamesh.  Well, James, really.  He was a step up, I think, because he was mentally twelve or so years old.”  Mala already knew the story of James’ awkward, oversexed advances, so she ordered pizza while Jany filled Selena in.  She kept herself busy until she heard Jany moving on to someone new. 

            “Okay, the guy after him, Dale?  I think he might be a yes.  We had some awkward moments—he’s the one I told you about, Selena, that tried to get me to give him head at the mall—but we talked after that and actually had a really good time.  And no, Mala, he didn’t get what he wanted, before you ask.  But he was sort of—I don’t know, I think I could learn from him.  He was the first guy that called me on my lack of self esteem, so he has to be a little bit evolved, anyway.  And he’s funny.”

            “Okay, he’s a yes.  But if he wants head in a public place this time, go for it.  Makes a better story.  I’m starting to get bored.”

            “Sorry I’m not as off-the-wall as you are, Mala.”

            “I’ll live with it.”

            “You two have, like, a totally awesome relationship for being a boss and an employee or whatever, ya know that?  Like, you seem like really good friends.  ‘Cause otherwise, you woulda gotten all pissy and left by now, Mala, and you would be way fired, Jane.  I always manage to hate my bosses.”

            “Oh, I think we’ve just gotten used to each other is all.”

            “I ain’t used to shit.  I just suck at cleaning and book-keeping, and you keep me in line at the gallery.”

            “That’s great.  I love you guys.  Okay, Jany, back to work.  Who came after Dale, our first yes of the evening?”

            “Another guy from way far away.  I keep in touch, but unless I become a zillionaire, I’ll never meet him.  And the guy after him?  I met him on his break at work and we made out in his car.”

            “Whoo hoooo, Jany!  Way to go, girl!  Was it good enough for him to be a yes?”

            “Well, yeah.  At least it was until his girlfriend started banging on the window and threatening my life and his.”

            “No way!”

            “Yeah, I remember when that happened.  Jany was scared to death at work for like a week.  Every time the door opened, she screamed like a little bitch and ran for the office ‘cause she thought some chick was gonna come beat her up.”

            “I wasn’t that bad.  But she was bigger and meaner than I was!  Oh, wait.  This guy, the one after that?  Totally a yes.  I really liked him.  He scared me to death, though.  He was a feeder, and since I could barely handle the fact that I was fat, that scared the crap outta me.  But he took me to this really cool plus-positive club, and—”

            “Whoa, whoa, whoa.  Slow down.  What are you talking about?”

            “Sorry, Selena.  I was just like you when I met this guy: confused as heck.  I didn’t have a clue what any of it meant.  That’s why I’ve never seen him again, but he was definitely cool.  He was a feeder, though.  A guy who is into helping and seeing women gain weight.  He likes really big women.  I am not even big enough for him, but he said a good personality could make it work anyway, maybe.  He took me to this place called Club Bubbles that’s a club for fat people and anyone who has a thing for us.”


            “Yeah, I thought so too, but I mean—some people are into blondes and some people are into short chicks and some people are into long legs, so why not fat people?”

            “Oh, that doesn’t seem weird.  I mean, I go to gay clubs all the time, which is sort of the same concept.  I just meant the feeder thing is strange.  But, like, whatever floats your boat.”

            “Yeah.  He was a lawyer.  I mean, he was smart, a really great guy.  He just freaked me out ‘cause he exposed me to so many new things.”

            “Didja do him?”

            “No, Mala.  I did not ‘do’ him.  But I have to admit, I’d kinda like to.”  Jany looked down to hide her red face.

            “Yee haw!  That’s the attitude!” Mala whooped.  “We’re finally getting’ ya out of your shell!”

            “Mala, as long as you’re up and stuff, could you go let the pizza guy in?”  Selena reached in her pocket and stuffed a handful of crumpled up money into Mala’s hand.  “I’m pretty sure I heard the doorbell while you were hootin’ and hollerin’ there.”  Selena turned to Jany as soon as Mala was busy,

            “Wow, she is a trip!  It must be, like, really great working for someone like that!”

            “I wouldn’t say great all the time, but she keeps things interesting.  We—we have our differences.”

            “I bet you do.  How old is she?”

            “Oh, boy.  Old enough to be your mother, Selena.  And she’s been around.  You don’t want—”

            “I just thought she seemed like a really cool person for her age, Jane.  I totally don’t want to date her.  Just because I’m bi doesn’t mean I want every woman I see.  You are way more my type.”

            “I—uh—okay.  Um, thanks?”  Jany was relieved that Mala came back with the pizza at that moment.  She just hoped Mala hadn’t seen Selena wink at her, or seen her face flush bright red for just a second.  Mala and Selena piled pizza onto their plates while Jany focused her attention on her computer screen again.  Or tried to, anyway,

            “This is where things start getting better.  Because after the feeder guy, I was so freaked out that I took a little break, and I kinda figured out that maybe I needed a better ad to help find better guys.  So, I wrote a new one.”

            “Did it help?  And have some pizza, will ya?”

            “Can you grab me a couple?  I wanna get through this.  I think it helped, yeah.  Frank, the first guy that answered that ad, was really cool.  He was super smart.  He took me to a gay bar and a porn—never mind.”

            “Jany!  You can never say the phrase ‘he took me to a porn’ and then, like, just stop!”

            “A porn shop.  And a liquor store, okay?  And then a whore house, actually.  Not to hire a whore or anything.  Just to—well, you know.  He rented a room.”

            “Wha—?  You did what?  Jany Whatever Allen!  How dare you?  Do you have, like, any idea how dangerous that was?  Can you just imagine what my therapist would say if I said I did that?  Holy hell!  How could you?”

            “Give it a rest, Selena.  She had a great time, her face was glowing for a week.  She didn’t get AIDS, nothing bad happened, I say they shoulda got a hooker too and got a threesome goin’ on.  You young kids are way too prudish.”

            “Mala, you are truly a sick and twisted individual.  I suppose you think she should see this loser again?”

            “Uh, yeah.  Why not?  Hot sex is hot sex.  She ain’t had nearly enough of that.  That’s her problem.  I mean, if she got laid more, she’d be way happier and more confident, and way less jealous of me when I tell her all my stories—”

            “You think she’s jealous of you?   There is no way—”

            “Why do you two keep forgetting I’m here?  This is getting frustrating!  Frank wasn’t that bad; he never pushed me or anything.  I did some stupid things, but I had a good time.  I wanted to break away from myself, really be someone different.  I was depressed as hell and just needed to get over myself.  And I did.  So I think I’d like to see him again.  But I’m not jealous of you, Mala.  Not for all the guys you sleep with.  For how easy it is for you, maybe, but that’s just not my style.  And if you two could remember I’m in the room, maybe you’d know more about what my style is!”

            Mala and Selena stared at Jany for a minute, then all three of them started laughing.

            “All right, we’ll try to be good.  This is, like, way more fun than I even thought it’d be.  The three of us make a good team.  Kinda like the Three Stooges.”

            “Yeah, but instead of poking each other in the eyes, we poke each other in the ego and stuff.”

            “Okay, back to work.  I’m barely following you two anymore.”  Mala sat back down and looked over at the screen.  “We got three yeses now, right?  Who’s next?”

            “Don.  I really, really want to see him again.  I saw this sign when I was leaving him, about hunting?  Or about not hunting baby deer, I guess.  It said ‘Let ‘em go, let ‘em grow,’ on it, and I remember thinking it was perfect about him.  Except, maybe I had to grow, too.  And now maybe we both have.  I actually just want to see him because our date was so weird, and I want to see how things would go now that I’m a little more grown up about everything.”

            “Is he the guy that made you shave his head and clean his house and took off on you at that casino?”

            “Yep, that’s him.”

            “He did what?”

            “Oh, it’s a long story.  He just wasn’t there when I showed up but he called my cell and told me to go ahead in and make myself comfortable and clean his apartment for him, then he wanted me to shave his head but he fell asleep while I was and only woke up a couple times to tell me I screwed up.  I kept having these fantasies about shaving his ears off and stuff.”

            “I bet—what an ass!  Why would you, like, want to see him again?”

            “Just for fun.  I kinda wanna give him a taste of his own medicine.”        

            “I say you have him here this time, girl.  Get him into your territory.  Hell, I could come over and we could say we’re gonna have a threesome and see how much we can scare him!”

            “Mala, if I hear you say threesome one more time tonight, I swear I’m gonna punch you.  Put your hormones away and focus!”

            “Yeah, Mala.  Maybe Jany and I should, like, tell you we’re gonna have a threesome tonight and see how much we can scare ya.”

            “Give it up.  It won’t scare her.  If you were to actually say that, I bet she’d be naked before you got the whole sentence out.  So let’s just get through this.  I only have four guys on my yes list and I’m already getting tired.”

            They shoved aside the pizza box and crowded in front of Jany’s laptop, all reading the next response together.

            “Wow.  Was that, like, really that guy’s girlfriend that sent you the letter from his account?”

            “Yeah.  Tom apologized and everything, and then suggested I see a friend of his.  And then like a month later, I ended up going out with him anyway.  I consider those two sort of a package deal, and I don’t think I should see either one of them again.”

            “Oh, come on.  You owe the super shy one a chance.  Isn’t he the guy that wanted to move you in and marry you, and you just took off out of his apartment like a freak?”

            “Yes.  And I feel bad about it.  But I’m not sure what to do.”

            “Hey, I have a totally awesome idea!  Why don’t you call the other dude, the one with the girlfriend, and see if he wants to double with his girlfriend and the other guy.  Then you can sort of, like, make amends, but you won’t be alone with him, and you’ll be showing the other guy he didn’t hurt you or whatever by having the girlfriend.  You’ll look all confident and strong and you’ll feel better ‘cause you can fix things with the other guy, even if it’s just to let him know he’s not a bad guy but you just don’t wanna marry him.”

            “That actually makes sense, Jany.  And then the four of you could—”

            “When I said don’t say threesome, Mala, that warning should have included foursome and orgy as well.”

            “Okay, fine.  The four of you can have a perfectly nice, innocent little evening together.”

            “Good idea.  Okay, the next guy was Trent, and he was so cool he scared me away ‘cause I thought he was too good for me.  One of you guys has to sit with me while I write to him, but he’s a yes.  He took me to see Rocky Horror—and I did not have an orgy with anyone in the audience, Mala—and we had a blast.  After him was this older guy who totally dissed me because he thought I was too fat, but he told me he was way younger than he was.  We never even went out, he just took off, but that same day I met this guy I really liked at the park.  I don’t know.  Maybe I should see that guy.  He gave me his number.  I just don’t know if he’d really be interested or not.  I don’t know if he’s into big—well, people like me.  He seemed nice.  But we never talked.  I mean, not after we met.  We had coffee together.  And exchanged numbers.  But he never called.  If he wanted to see me, he could have called.  I have his number—”

            “Damn, Jany, get a grip!  Call him.  He’s probably just as freaked out as you are and scared to call, but the way you’re going on about him, you are going to call him, ‘cause otherwise we’ll never hear the end of it.  Yes list.  Next?”

            Jany sheepishly wrote his name down before she looked back at her screen.

            “I went to this plus-positive dance—you know, like that club I was talking about before?  I went with this guy named Sam and he was a total bore, but I met another guy there, William.  He cut in while I was dancing with Sam, actually.  We never went out.  What do you guys think?”

            “Was he, like, a cool guy?  I mean, did you like him for real, or just because he cut in on you?”

            “I don’t know.  I really don’t know anything about him.  We danced a few times and he hugged me goodbye, gave me his number, and left.  But he was hot.  Instant attraction.”

            “Do it.”

            “Somehow I knew you’d say that, Mala.”

            “This is all about empowerment.  By going out with all these guys on your terms, you’re proving your prowess as a woman.  Why stick with guys you know?  Go big or go home.”

            “Okay, fine.  He’s a yes.  Next up, crazy bicycle thief.  Old guy.  Creepy.  You both know the story.  No way.  And then—”  Jany stopped in her tracks and Mala and Selena leaned in for a closer look at the screen.

            “So, whatcha gonna do about that last one?” Mala asked, smirking.  Jany’s face flushed bright red and she buried her face in her hands.

            “Don’t ask,” she said, her voice muffled.  “Awkward!”

            “If you asked me out, I’d say yes,” Selena whispered.



Thanks for reading

From the Plus Side with Emily Smiltneck


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Good 4 U Food

Recipes for Good... Healthy Food

By: Xander - The Food Dude


Hope and Change

by Xander The Food Dude


Computer people who working to find the inner working of computers or programs.  Then they rewire it or reprogram it to do what they want.  This month starts the process of renewal for all of us.  As spring dawns, spirits are lifted and change is in the air.  Not just for me, but for you as well.  As with computer people we can (if we choose) to hack ourselves.  By taking the time to understand why we do things the way we do them can lend to the solution as well.  If we take the time to hack ourselves, mind, body, and soul, maybe, no…. we CAN make the changes we need in our lives for the better, and the better we will be for it …..

Having stated that we begin…

Stop assigning blame. This is the first step. Stop assigning blame and leave the past behind you.

You know whose fault it is that your life isn't perfect. Your boss. Your teachers. Your ex-lovers. The ones who hurt you, the ones who abused you, the ones who left you bleeding. Or even yourself. You know whose fault it is — you've been telling yourself your whole life. Knowing whose fault it is that your life sucks is an excellent way to absolve yourself of any responsibility for taking your life into your own hands.

Forget about it. Let it go. The past isn't real. “That was in another country, and besides, the wench is dead.” If we're not talking about something that is real and present and in your life right now, then it doesn't matter. Nothing can be done about it. If nothing can be done about it, then don't spend your energy dwelling on it — you have other things to do.

I may sound cruel, I may sound simplistic, I may sound like I'm saying you should just “get over it,” by suggesting that you should let go of your past. I'm sorry for that. But life won't hold still and wait for you to lick your wounds. The race is still being run. Get up and keep moving. You can't do anything about yesterday.

You can do something about tomorrow. And about the next day. Focus your energies there.  “I don't have time to write.” “I can't dance.” “I can't talk to new people.” “I'm not attractive.”   I hear this all the time. I always hear the people around me sabotaging themselves, drawing lines and borders and boxes around themselves.

To which I say, make the time; dance; just talk to people; be attractive!

Yes, again, it's simplistic of me to say that. But it's simplistic of you to so easily say what you cannot do!   We're excellent pattern-matchers. That's what the human mind does — it's a pattern-matching engine. So we look at ourselves, at our history, at our behaviors, and we draw straight lines between the points — we assume that just because we've done things a certain way in the past, we'll always do them that way in the future. If we've failed before, we'll always fail.  Screw that.    Surprise yourself. No — amaze yourself.

You don't have to keep doing the things you hate. Why go home and beat yourself up for, say, not going over and saying a few words to someone you find really attractive? Can any damage they could do to you by rejecting you possibly be any worse than the damage you're going to do to yourself for missing the chance?

Find the demon.

Do you know what I'm talking about? It's the little voice in the back of your head that's always whispering, “You can't.” You know the demon. You may think you hate the demon, but you don't. You love it. You let it own you. You do everything it says. Every time there's something you want, you consult the demon first, to see if it will say, “You can't have that.”

What you don't realize is that your demon doesn't know anything. It's an idiot. It's nothing but a parrot, repeating back to you anything negative that it's ever heard, anything that makes you hurt, makes you squirm. If a teacher once told you “You'll never accomplish anything,” it was listening; it hoards words like that and repeats them back to you to watch you jump. It doesn't know what it's saying. It doesn't care.

Exorcise yourself.

You can take me literally or not, as suits you. But do, please, the next time you hear that voice in your head, imagine it, visualize it, as something physical that you can get hold of; tear it out of you, feel its fingers weaken and lose their grip on your spine, and grind it to dust, to nothing, under your boot heel on your way out to dance in the streets.

You can. You think you can't; but it's telling you that. You can.

You don't exist.

You just think you do.

We're nothing but the stories we tell ourselves. We know in our hearts what kind of people we are, what we're capable of, because we've told ourselves what kind of people we are. You're a carefully-rehearsed list of weaknesses and strengths you've told yourself you have.

(Self-confidence, for example, is a particularly nebulous quality you can easily talk yourself out of having.)

You owe no allegiance to that self-image if it harms you. If you don't like the story your life has become — tell yourself a better one.

Think about the person you want to be and do what that person would do. Act the way that person would act.

Amazingly enough, once you start acting like that person, people will start treating you like that person.

And you'll start to believe it. And then it will be true.

Welcome to your new self.

You are a product of your environment.

Most people realize this — usually, in the form of having something else to blame — but they tend to forget one important fact:

Humans are the masters of changing their environment.

What this means is that if your environment affects you, and you can affect your environment, then obviously, you can affect yourself.

  • Your environment includes people. Figure out who in your life isn't good for you, whose presence tears you down more than it builds you up, whose nearness is poison to you — and get rid of them. Get them out of your life. I don't care if it's your best friend, your boss, your mother, your lover — if they are harming you, if they are doing nothing but reinforce everything bad you tell yourself about yourself, then your relationship with them needs to radically alter or it needs to end.
  • Your environment includes goals. Don't set yourself pie-in-the-sky impossible goals and then beat yourself up over not achieving them — set yourself goals that will be good for you, not a source of pain. Attainable goals. Set them and meet them. Don't tell yourself you can't — that's the old story, that story you used to tell yourself about what a poor sad victim you were and how you could never change anything about your life. You can meet your goals. This is the new story.

Trying to clean your house? Good for you — a clean house can really affect your state of mind for the better. But don't say “Today I'm going to clean the entire house from top to bottom,” when you don't have the time and energy to — don't set yourself up for failure; don't feed the demon. Just say, “Today I'm going to wash all the dishes and clean off the kitchen counter.” And do it.

Don't tell yourself, “This month I'm going to write that novel.” Tell yourself, “Today I'm going to write five pages.” And do it. Take your dreams and break them down into small pieces and you'll have them in your hands before you know it.

And you'll find, as you start meeting your goals, that you like it. That it feels good, makes you feel confident and capable. You'll develop a hunger for it.

  • Your environment includes yourself — your physical presence. Do what you know you need to do — treat yourself better. Sleep, eat right, exercise. This doesn't mean you have to stop staying out late at night now and then, it doesn't mean you can't have a candy bar, it doesn't mean you have to stop sitting around watching television — it just means start doing the things that are good for you as well as the things that are bad for you, every so often. It's not an all-or-nothing proposition; you don't have to devote your life to being a health nut. Just try eating more fruits and vegetables, the occasional vegetarian meal; go for walks in the park on the weekends. You'll feel better and be more alert if you're a little healthier, and once you start feeling a little better, you'll start wanting the things that make you feel better. You'll see.
  • Your environment includes your appearance. If you're not happy with yourself, if you're angry with the person in the mirror, it can honestly help to literally change who you see when you look in the mirror. Try a different hairstyle, new glasses, new jewelry, new clothes. It doesn't have to be expensive — there's a whole universe full of possible You's waiting to be found in thrift stores, if need be. If you're deciding to become the person you want to be, and then decide what that person is going to look like. Dress the part. It's not shallow, it's not about vanity, it's about self-transformation — even the most primitive tribes understand the value of costumes and masks for ritual, for change, for becoming someone else.

You are not an object. You are a system. Like with any system, if you change the inputs — change what goes into it — you'll change what comes out.

Despite everything I've just said:

Self-examination can be paralysis.

Don't “remember to breathe” — just breathe. It's a Tao thing.

It's the paradox at the center of all this — remember that, “Am I living up to being the person I want to be?”, is not a question the person you want to be would ask.

If I can leave you with just one thought, it's this:

Stop wasting your time fretting over not being happy.

Just be happy.

JUST           BE                 HAPPY


Xander's Recipe of the Month


Dill-icious Cucumber Salad


This recipe is cool as a cucumber and great for Spring days and nights.  ENJOY


  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1 cup white vinegar
  • 1/2 cup water
  • 1 tablespoon snipped fresh dill
  • 2 teaspoons salt
  • 4 medium cucumbers, thinly sliced
  • 1/3 cup sour cream



  1. In a saucepan, combine the sugar, vinegar, water, dill and salt. Bring to a boil over medium heat. Remove from the heat. Place cucumbers in a large bowl. Pour vinegar mixture over and toss to coat. Cover and refrigerate overnight.
  2. Drain and discard vinegar mixture. Stir sour cream into cucumbers. Cover and refrigerate until serving.


Thank you for Reading Good Food 4U

By Xander the Food Dude

Please send thoughts and comments to


Cher Rue is an actress, writer and producer. Starting out with writing "Dear Cher" she knew she loved helping other people. Being plus size all her life this was where she knew her calling was.

Cher was seen on "Dr.Phil, "Good Morning America", "Entertainment Tonight", "Russian, British, Japanese, and Viet Vietnamese Television". Also a documentary filmed at the Las Vegas Bash on the Travel channel, and Current TV, a online station, with numerous radio interviews talking about size acceptance.
You can also see a recurring show "Secret Lives of Women" seen on the We channel "Women's entertainment".

Cher was recently in a new movie "Forever Plaid" coming out soon.

Cher is now involved with mainstream "Hollywood" and charity events showing that beauty comes in all sizes
it is what is inside that counts.

Cher has always loved seeing others happy and helping others to find their inner self and beauty.
Ten years ago, she found the plus size community and she knew this is where she would focus on helping others who were like her and had some of her experiences and pain that she went through.

DC Entertainment & Wild Eagle PR present the "4th Annual Private Namm Jam 2010" Red Carpet Fundraiser
Article by: Cher Rue

On the opening night of NAMM Show (The National Association of Music Merchants Convention) I went to Fullerton for the time of my life. I walked into this bar with old time rock and roll stars, musicians from the 80's and up. The food was good, the drinks were flowing and the music was like a blast from the past. Talk about feeling young again, I couldn't keep my feet from tapping and my hand in the air rocking out to some oldies. The music was so loud, of course I was in the front but who cares, listening to some legends was worth not being able to hear for a day or two!

The highlight of the night for me was eleven old year Dylan Nash from AUTOMATIC YOUTH, these kids are going to make it big, Dylan was so captivating and reminded me of a young Steven Tyler. He had the crowd on its feet rocking out. Singer songwriter
top of the dance charts last month "FAWN" sang her "I wish you love" and wooed the crowd, even the old time rockers were hugging her and loved her style of music. I was there until midnight and the party was still happening. It was a great night of Rock and Roll and a whole lot of nice people.

The “Band” portion of the night was hosted by Radio Personality Poor Man (Founder of Love Line on KROQ) and the “CELEBRITYJAM” portion is Hosted by ZACHARY THRONE - Actor/ Singer/ Songwriter. Voice in Avatar TV Show, Acted in The Batman, the Meatloaf movie, The Heights, and on the Hit TV Show 90210

A wonderful organization that helps kids who are in the Foster Care system with amazing programs like music lessons, trips, job training, etc.

- CLIMATE GROUND ZERO which is helping save the Appalachian Mountains in West Virginia from being destroyed for coal.

(see bios below):
BOBBY ALLEN – singer, TERRY ILOUS, - singer of XYZ,
CHAS WEST (singer of Bonham ;the Hollywood Allstarz, George Lynch).
MATT MUCKLE - drums-Buckcherry, DJ Ashba, Paul Gilbert, & Sinomatic,
FRANKIE WHYTE - Singer/Guitar player for Frankie Whyte and the Dead Idols,
REV JONES - Bass, SteelHeart/ Mountain,
ERIC DOVER - singer/songwriter/guitar, former guitar Alice Cooper and Slashes Snake Pit now with SEXTUS,
RON DZIUBLA, Guitar/Sax for Ricky Martin,
ERIC BARNETT - singer/songwriter/lead guitar Iron Butterfly
JOEY LO DOLCE – Drummer of Iron Butterfly,

AUTOMATIC YOUTH, - Automatic Youth hails from the San Fernando Valley, Hollywood and Santa Monica. The band springs from The Paul Green School of Rock in Hollywood, CA where most members currently attend. The band formed with the desire to perform original material and selected covers that best show their varied influences. First up on the vocals we have DYLAN NASH, 10. Dylan cites Freddy Mercury, Steven Tyler and Iggy Pop as a few of his major influences on vocals and Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin and The Rolling Stones as a few of his favorite bands. An engaging frontman and powerhouse vocalist, Dylan Nash commands the stage with his moves, attitude and swagger.

Next up on guitar we have MAX BOUVRIE 13, Max cites Paul Gilbert from Racer X and Dimebag Darrel from Pantera as two of his major influences and Devil Driver, Pantera and Rush amongst a few of his favorite bands. Max brings to the table a decidedly heavier sound to Automatic Youth with his progressive and metal-influenced playing.

Next on guitar is ANDREW WELLS, Andrew has been playing guitar for 6 years and his biggest influences are Eddie Van Halen, Joe Satriani, George Lynch, Frank Zappa and Tom Morello...He listens to The Raconteurs, the Arctic Monkeys, the White Stripes, Van Halen, the Dead Weather, Chickenfoot, and Montrose.

RYAN GABRINETTI our multi talented Bass player is 14 and has been playing for 6 years. He also plays guitar, drums, keyboards, mandolin and tenor sax. His musical tastes vary but his big influences are Emerson Lake and Palmer, Led Zeppelin, The Yardbirds, Frank Zappa and Jethro Tull. His favorite bass players are Greg Lake, John Entwistle, Paul McCartney, and Jack Bruce, bringing a blues and rock style to Automatic Youth.

Finally on drums we have JASON PAUL, 12. Jason's influences on drums range from Carter Beauford from the Dave Matthews Band to John Bonham from Led Zeppelin. He also lists The Red Hot Chili Peppers and Godsmack amongst his bands of choice. Jason while being only 11 years old gives Automatic youth its might and muscle pounding out classic yet powerful drum patterns and fills. The band just completed a small summer tour performing at Fais Do Do, Ventura County Fair, opening up for The Chelsea Girls at The Roxy and performing on stage with Seth Binzer (Shifty) of Crazytown at Les Deux and a few other venues.

DAMIAN BRELL, - New Zealand born Damian Brell is a classically trained pianist and vocalist turned Rock Star. Having just finished a European Tour as a solo artist, Damian has signed to tour Southern California for the next few months and will be making a brief appearance at the 4th Annual NAMM JAM. Damian's unique musical style and sound has been prominently compared to the talents of Elton John and David Bowie - musical styles which are emulated with Damian's own musical language that comes from training in many different genres. This talent and formal training, when combined with the Rock 'n' Roll spirit flowing through his blood, produces an incredibly addicting sound that is "Damian Brell". With his high energy and unique themes, his music and warm voice strike a familiar chord with audiences across all spectrums. It is nothing less than magic when he sits down at his piano and lets his fingers fly, all the while passionately singing his stirring melodies.

Damian's appearance at the NAMM JAM will be the start of his promotional tour for his newly released album "Haiku Troubadour." Having already received critical acclaim, Damian's new album contains such hit songs as "YSL Girl", "Revolution" and "In For The Kill", which have all started to receive radio play on music stations around the world. Damian will be joined by Joerg Stoeffel - Lead Guitar; Michael Saltz - Rhythm Guitar; David Henning - Bass; and Karoly Kiss - Drums. Damian's album "Haiklu Troubadour" is available on iTunes, Amazon, CD Baby, and other various internet music outlets.

SIDEWINDER - Rob Aaron Marchi Actor/Musician/Bassplayer/Singer/Songwriter,Team leader from Australia/Melbourne,Performed with many Australian Famous artists… Kevin Walton Lead Singer/Songwriter,with 5 Solo Albums” also from Australia/Melbourne… Mick Malusa Guitarist/Songwriter from Australia/Melbourne.. Brat Madley Guitarist from LA..Former,Magna Carta,Spider Murphy..JohnnyG Drummer/Actor from Philadelphia.Former,Get the led Out,Culture Killers. Sidewinder influences,Nine inch nails,Tea Party,Tool,Velvet Revolver,Bon Jovi,Red Hot Chilli Pepers,plus much more


BILLBOARD Top Ten Dance Charts "Wish U Love." Actress & Award winning Singer/Songwriter #6 on the Billboard Dance Charts: Her song 'Wish U Love' won best dance song and her album "Body, Soul and Mind" won best dance album 2009 at the JPF Music Awards in Nashville. Her song “I Adore Paris” was featured in the Natalee Holloway Story Starring Tracy Pollan. New original song "Dream Weaver" in new movie Dead End Falls, due out in November. Actress in Forever Plaid Movie with with David Hyde Pierce. And in 2 episodes with Carson Kressley, “How to Look Good” on LIFETIME

RF22, - featuring guitarist JACK FROST (savatage, seven witches, joey belladonna, frost), bassist REV JONES (mountain, steelheart, fuel, michael schenker group, black symphony, rev jones band), vocalist PIERCE (black symphony, rev jones band, metalheadz), and drummer TAZ MARAZZ (seven witches), guest appearing with RF22 is KRISTEN CAPOLINO, guitarist/singer - performed with MSG - Michael Schenker Group, Les Paul, James Burton, Steve Lukather, Al DiMeola, Bret Michaels,Kenny Wayne Shepherd, Lita Ford, Blue Oyster Cult, Megan McCauley, Y & T, UFO, Albert Lee, Doyle Dykes, Jennifer Batten, Junior Brown, Nokie Edwards, and the list goes on...

Special Guest Appearance - CALISTA CARRIDINE,,

Actor/Singer/Songwriter and starred in Kung Fu the Legend continues with her father David Carradine. Her “Back East Blues Band” includes Tim Corvo on guitar, Cherie Connor on Bass, Howard Bernstetin on drums. See her at the Jam later playing with BILL MC COMBE, COLIN CAMERON, RON WHITAKER (bios below). Calista's sultry, sexy voice goes from sweet to hardriving Mellissa Etheridge meets Janice Joplin. She is currently recording a new CD with top producers with her "Bluesey Country Soul on the Rocks" genre of music. Calista acted and sang in movies such as Around Americana, The Killing man, Total Force , Ultimate force, Mata Hari, Dear Santa, Outta Sight and Kung Fu the Legend Continues.

SEXTUS, - Eric Dover, Joe Karnes, Eric "Icky" Skodis, Mitchell Sigman, Ron Dziubla, Chris Declercq - Eric Dover has performed with many artists over the years. Including Slash's Snakepit with GnR guitarist Slash....yeah, that's him doing the lead vocals on "It's Five O'Clock Somewhere." He's been with Jellyfish, Imperial Drag, Alice Cooper's band for the Brutal Planet tour in 2001, co-credited with Alice Cooper and fellow guitarist Ryan Roxie on most of the tracks of the 2003 album "The Eyes of Alice Cooper," all before settling into SEXTUS. "Influenced by the sound of bees." Is how they describe the emergence of their music. They also claim to be "the first band in history to have recorded the sound of ice melting." "We like music imbued with Venusian mandalas coated in an ironic slippery situation." what does this all mean? It's SEXTUS's (Eric Dover's) way of expressing how all of SEXTUS's influences drive the creation of their sound. Influences? Artists, media and musical events like: The Archies, Serge Gainsbourg, Cymbalom, Where the Wild Things Are, Wacky Packages, Russ Meyer, M.A.D Magazine, Tomi Ungerer, Daniel Clowes, Sextus Propertius, Jessco White (The Dancing Outlaw), Hasil Adkins, Berurier Noir, Mason Reese, Unclyclopedia, Genesis, P. Orridge, Rod McKuen, Cruella DeVille (the band), The G.I. Joe PSA parodies on YouTube, the soundtrack to Repo Man, Trio, Clodagh Rogers, Prince (doing his very best Clodagh Rogers impersonation),Marc Bolan, DEVO, J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, Zappa, Beefheart, The Mothers, Bun E. Rabbit, & Daniel from theland of make believe, are all counted as contributing to the creation of SEXTUS music's overall sound.

NAMM JAM HOSTED BY ZACHARY THRONE - Actor/Singer/Songwriter, - Some of his music reel, - Zachary Throne taught himself drums at age 12, then guitar, piano and bass. As an actor, Zach starred in the FOX television series The Heights, which utilized his talents as an actor and musician, and the show’s hit song, "How Do You Talk To An Angel?" reached #1 on the Billboard charts. He has had recurring roles on Beverly Hills, 90210 and Party Of Five. He also does voiceover work, currently providing voices for the Nickelodeon series Avatar. On bass, guitar and vocals, Zach has recorded and/or toured with Susanna Hoffs, Vonda Shepard, Joan Jones, Robert Bradley, Jerry Cantrell, Anthrax, Laura Dawn, Pearl Aday, Mother Superior, Barenaked Ladies, Lemmy Kilmister, Jason Luckett and Jamie Walters fromThe Heights. He has also worked as a session vocalist for television and film, having sung the Greg Brady vocals for the films The Brady Bunch Movie and A Very Brady Sequel, and sang the theme for the television series Grace Under Fire. He is currently touring with the North American cast of the UK ABBA tribute sensation, "Bjorn Again" and doing voice over work in Los Angeles and Vancouver, BC. He is the official voice of the internet video game sensation.

KAPTAIN - Clothing & Leather Fashion Designer to the Stars on drums from the band ”HOLLYWOOD ROSE” band, CHAS WEST to jump in on vocals and see below the selection we have for bass players and guitarists.

Hollywood Rose is regrouping yet again. You may not know but this hard rock band was founded by singer Axl Rose, after he left L.A. Guns, and guitarists Izzy Stradlin and Chris Weber in Los Angeles in 1983. The rest of the lineup was rounded off with live members Steve Darrow and Johnny Kreis. The band is perhaps best known for its merger with L.A. Guns to form Guns N' Roses in 1985. Former Guns N' Roses members Slash and Steven Adler were also briefly members of Hollywood Rose, with Slash replacing Weber after he was fired by Rose and Adler replacing Kreis. Weber reformed the band in 2007 with its current lineup consisting of Jimmy Swan on vocals, Weber on lead guitar, Matt Beal on rhythm guitar, Donny Brook on bass and Kaptain on drums.


BOBBY ALLEN - singer/songwriter/harp player, has worked with Chris Slade, Jimmy Vaughan, Roger Wynfield, Neal Schon, Tommy Shaw and the list goes on. Bobby owns and operates as Studio Engineer/Producer at "Sound Fortress Studio," in Orange County.

TERRY ILOUS - singer of XYZ, MATT MUCKLE - drums-Buckcherry, DJ Ashba, Paul Gilbert, & Sinomatic. ERIC BARNETT Guitar player and lead vocals in Iron Butterfly for 15 years and is launching a tour with JOEY LO DOLCE Iron Butterfly/Thunder Tribe who toured with Gary Richrath of REO Speedwagon. FRANKIE WHYTE - Singer/Guitar player for Frankie Whyte and the Dead Idols, KK MARTEN - Singer/guitar & steel pedal guitar for Al A Carte and has performed with Steven Tyler, AARON WOLFSON - singer/guitar - has worked with: Jimmy Haskell-music arranger for (Sheryl Crow) Michael Masser-producer for (Whitney Houston) Joe Travers (Duran Duran, Dweezil Zappa) worked with David Paich (Toto) John Jessel (Toto & Van Halen) Shirly Brewer (Stevie Wonder) Mike Kowolski (the Beach Boys) and Peter Rafelson (Madonna, Elton John, and Britney Spears. REV JONES - Bass, SteelHeart/Mountain, ERIC DOVER - singer/songwriter/guitar, former guitar player for Alice Cooper's band for the Brutal Planet tour in 2001, co-credited with Alice Cooper and fellow guitarist Ryan Roxie on most of the tracks of the 2003 album "The Eyes of Alice Cooper," all before settling into SEXTUS, also former guitarist for Slashes Snake Pit, Jellyfish, and Imperial Drag, CHAS WEST –Singer of Bonham, the Hollywood Alstarz and George Lynch, currently Host and Lead singer in the Las Vegas Show “Rock Star The Tribute”. RON DZIUBLA - Guitar/Sax for Ricky Martin, DERRICK PONTIER - Former Drummer Great white C.C. Devilles samatha 7 currently playing with Paul Shortino Band (Paul Shortino from Rough cutt and Quiet Riot), JOHNNY O - drummer for Trap Project, JACK FROST - guitarist - played with Savatage, Joey Belldonna of Anthrax, Seven Witches, Lizzy Borden. MIKE PIERCE - Singer - Recorded and assisted in writing Lead vocals on the first Black Symphony CD "Breathe". Currently, singing for "theSyndikut" that just released their debut CD "Generation Y Me" on an indie label, ZERO Music Group. TAZ MARAZZ, drummer (seven witches), CALISTA CARRADINE - Actor/singer/songwriter, daughter of David Carradine sings “Bluesey, Country Soul on the Rocks” BILL MC COMBE – Bass guitar for Cherrie Currie, Prescot Niles, Chris Montez, Tim Bogert & Mark Steen of Vanilla Fudge, Jackie Lomax – Apple Records, Martin Gerschwitz of Iron Butterfuly, Eric Burdon & The Animals, Gretchen Bonaduce. COLIN CAMERON – guitar, performed with Tina Turner, Kris Kristopherson, Joni Mitchell, The Osmonds, Joan Baez, Harry Chapin, Cher, Waylon Jennings, Olivia Newton –John. RON WHITAKER - drummer - has performed with Pat Benitar, Cherie Currie, Dizzie Reed, Gilby Clark, Dave Schulz, Chuck Wright, etc. DYLAN NASH - 10-years old, Dylan cites Freddy Mercury, Steven Tyler and Iggy Pop as a few of his major influences on vocals and Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin and The Rolling Stones as a few of his favorite bands. Attends the Paul Green School of Rock Academy. KRISTEN CAPOLINO, guitarist/singer - performed with MSG - Michael Schenker Group, Les Paul, James Burton, Steve Lukather, Al DiMeola, Bret Michaels,Kenny Wayne Shepherd, Lita Ford, Blue Oyster Cult, Megan McCauley, Y & T, UFO, Albert Lee, Doyle Dykes, Jennifer Batten, Junior Brown, Nokie Edwards, and the list goes on.. CHRIS DECLERCQ - guitarist has performed with Dizzy Reed, Michael Kenney (Iron Maiden), Billy Sheehan, Lemme, Phil Campbell, Teddy Zig Zag, currently in the band Godmother with Tomi Rae Brown on vocals (James Brown’s widow), Athena Kottak (Tommy Lee’s sister) on drums and Beth Ami Dokus on bass. JAMES VAUGHN - Played bass with Billy Squire in the 80s, toured with Yes, Kiss, Ted Nugent, Van Halen, ZZ Top. LOU CASTRO – played with 70’s funk pioneers Mandril, Arthur Adams, Vivian Campbell, Wayne Newton, Billy Cioffi & The monte Carlos, Chuck Berry and Don Was. CHRIS LYNN GAY - Former faculty member and graduate of the Atlanta Institute of Music. Currently working for the world's largest genre based tribute company, Perfect World Entertainment. Guitarist/cast member performing with metal Shop OKC and nationally with various Perfect World acts. LANE BALDWIN: Leader of internationally-acclaimed Deeper Blues, bassist (aka Lane on Bass) has performed and recorded with Blues icons Johnny B. Gayden (Albert Collins), Mason Ruffner (Epic), Cesar Diaz (Bob Dylan), Daryl Davis (Legendary Blues Band), Danny Gatton, and dozens more. Deeper Blues' 2008 release, Dig the Hole, has been hailed as the best original Blues in thirty years. Lane is a Musical Ambassador for Washington, DC, and has toured the world representing the US and promoting the Blues to a new generation. When not touring, he offers seminars and clinics to aspiring musicians, helping them take their place on stages around the world. Lane is also VP, Sales, for two ground-breaking companies: The Learning Dock, LLC (publishers of Roy Vogt's Teach Me Bass Guitar), and David Nordschow Amplification, the new company from bass amp guru David Nordschow.

NAMM JAM performers; Yogi Lonich, guitarist-Chris Cornell and formerly Buckcherry and the Wallflowers, Neil Turbin-The Original lead singer of Anthrax and the voice behind their Groundbreaking debut album, "Fistfull of Metal" Amanda Abizaid-Singer/Songwriter/Flute, Michael Mennell-Bass for Tom Jones, Stewart Jean-Drums for Amanda Abizaid, Ron Dzuibla-Guitar/Sax for Ricki Marten, Andrew Freeman- Singer and credits with Off Springs/George Lynch, Derrick Pontier, former drummer for -Great White, Also played with C.C. Deville from Poison in his solo band, Matt Muckle, drums-Buckcherry, DJ Ashba, Paul Gilbert, & Sinomatic, Rev Jones, Bass-SteelHeart/Mountain, Sean Kelly - Crash Kelly, Marten Andersson, Bass-George Lynch/Lizzy Borden, James Kottak, Drums-Scorpions, Athena Kottak, Drums,-Tommy Lee's sister, Michael James Duda, Guitar-WASP, Scott Griffin-LA Guns, Mike Dupek, Drums-WASP, Lionel Barton - drummer w/ Micki Free(Grammy winner,Shalamar,Prince). Lionel has also performed w/Jeff Carlisi(.38 Special) Brad Rabuchin - guitarist w/Ray Charles. Brad has also performed w/Bonnie Raitt,Buddy Guy,Tom Jones and members of Frank Zappa's band. Chris Farmer - bassist/singer w/the Beach Boys. John Prpich - guitarist w/Edgar Winter. John has also performed w/Juice Newton(Grammy Winner). Michael Masser-producer for (Whitney Houston) Joe Travers (Duran Duran, Dweezil Zappa) David Paich (Toto) John Jessel (Toto & Van Halen) Shirly Brewer (Stevie Wonder) Mike Kowolski (the Beach Boys) and Peter Rafelson (Madonna, Elton John, and Britney Spears.) Steve Fishman, Bass-Credits with Paul McCartney and Elton John, Jason Ebs-Ex singer/guitarist for Peter Criss' CRISS (Bad Boys of KISS Tours w/Ace Frehley's band), played with Terri Nunn's BERLIN, and currently in ECOTONIC featuring Chris Slade from AC/DC on Drums. Lynn Carey Saylor singer/songwriter known for her recording work with superstar guitarist Brian May of QUEEN. Kevin (Stix) Jack Frost, guitarist - played with Savatage, Joey Belldonna of Anthrax, Seven Witches, Lizzy Borden. Roger Wynfield - former guitarist with Glen Campbell. Roger has also performed with Scott Page (Pink Floyd) and Jeff Skunk Baxter (Steely Dan, Doobie Brothers) among others. Tim Yasui of Cleopatra Records on drums, Mike Duda of WASP, Jill Sharpe guitarist/singer songwriter, Mike Pierce, Singer - Recorded and assisted in writing Lead vocals on the first Black Symphony CD "Breathe". Currently, singing for "theSyndikut" that just released their debut CD "Generation Y Me" on an indie label, ZERO Music Group. Aaron Wolfson - guitarist/songwriter has worked with: Jimmy Haskell-music arranger for (Sheryl Crow) Michael Masser-producer for (Whitney Houston) Joe Travers (Duran Duran, Dweezil Zappa) David Paich (Toto) John Jessel (Toto & Van Halen) Shirly Brewer (Stevie Wonder) Mike Kowolski (the Beach Boys) and Peter Rafelson (Madonna, Elton John, and Britney Spears. Darren De Bree - drummer with Hectic Watermelon featuring Jerry Goodman (Mahavishnu Orchestra, Dixie Dregs). Darren has also performed with Mitchell Foreman (John Mc Laughlin). Jon Greathouse, keyboardist, composer, producer and vocalist who since 2000 has composed music for over 14 film releases and has provided tracks for several production companies, music libraries, television shows and commercials. Jon has also written music for internet websites, video games, movie trailers, corporate industrial films and instructional CD's and DVD's. Some of Jon's credits include Lyle Lovett, Sheryl Crow, Jackson Browne, Michael Mc Donald and Natalie Cole among others.........

Press/Media invited to NAMM JAM; DJ Will of, Cleopatra Records, DJ Larry Woodside from Radio former DJ for KROQ and also works for, Radio, Outlaw Radio, VHT Amps, Minarik Guitars, Pearl, TurboTrem, Sfarzo Strings, Delany Guitars, Levy Leather Straps, Groove Tubes, Wilson Guitars, Diamond Amps, Jagar, Bulletproof Guitars, Minarik Guitars, 98.7 Radio, Music Connection, Hollywood Reporter, Billboard Magazine, Rolling Stones, Muen Magazine, 911 Magazine, OC Weekly, LA Weekly, LA Times, OC Register, West Coast Performer, Strutter Magazine, Live OC, Skratch Magazine, Earthone Music, Inc, Rock Wired Music Magazine/Radio, Rock It Magazine, Reviewer Magazine, Loggins Promotion / Backstage Entertainment, Hunnypot Unlimited, Experience Magazine, Mania TV, Celebrity Nightlife Publicity, Inc., Bass Player, Guitar Player, Remix, Independent-Santa Barbara.This event was to help raise awareness for kids with cancer and helping them survive it one smile at a time. At this time, monetary donations and or gift cards (Target, Home Depot, Walmart, Bed Bath and Beyond, or Visa Gift cards) to help facilitate them was brought to the event.


Thanks for reading Big Girls on the Red Carpet


Sonya L. Bennett, (also known as “Truthfulblkwoman”) is a 38 year old, black female, single with no children living in Detroit, Michigan.  She is the youngest of a set of fraternal female twins, with a older sister.  Sonya lives with being the larger twin, and discovered people always presumed that they would look alike in SOME way... Even though fraternal twins don't necessarily look alike.  Always being the heavier of the two, people (family, associates, friends) were quick to point it out. She grew to realize an outer appearance is what people judge you on initially.  As a college-educated freelance court stenographer, it never occurred to her that size would prohibit her from receiving work.  In the legal world, the “eye candy” usually didn’t fill UP the corner.


In 2007, Sonya was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes; a generational curse that she had prayed to avoid, but didn’t worry about while she piled butter pecan ice cream on her German Chocolate Cake.    Only a few months into this diagnosis, she woke up one morning unable to walk and in excruciating pain in her left foot.  Doctors finally diagnosed an acute tendonitis, exacerbated by uncontrolled diabetes.  That was the wake-up call, She had suffered for years with high cholesterol and sleep apnea; all associated with her weight,  it wasn’t until this happened (wheelchair bound for a month and on crutches following that) did she tell herself "I have to do something about my weight."  On April 17, 2008, Sonya had the gastric bypass medical weight loss procedure and it was the best decision that she made for herself.  In these upcoming writings, Sonya invites you to learn the ups and downs of gastric bypass: through the eyes of one who lives it every day.


New Stomach: New Choices

with Sonya Bennett


When one diets, they have the mental choice to self-destruct and go off of the plan, or to diligently follow it and pray for success. That option – initially – is taken away after the gastric bypass surgery which is why I wanted it. It’s easy in the beginning when you’re on a diet: the water weight is coming off, the scale is your friend and – some of us – want to reward ourselves and what better way than a little, edible treat? SURELY a mini-Snickers (which you can’t just buy ONE mini, you HAVE to buy a regular-sized or, what the hell, splurge and get the king-size!) couldn’t ruin your diet, could it? Yes, yes, it can! After such an invasive surgery, though, not only can it RUIN your diet, it can make you drastically sick! Food: turning against you; isn’t it supposed to be energy/nourishment? Isn’t it a necessity?

I’ve never understood the question of whether food is an addiction ? How can an addiction be something that we HAVE to have? The addiction comes in where the gluttony begins; overdoing it. With my new stomach, came new choices. I have, as I’ve said in the past, been on every diet in the free world LOL, NEVER have I read labels. I am now very cognizant of the sugar content I’m ingesting or trying to ingest. I went to the “health food” portion of the grocery store, looking for a quenching drink and ran across something called “Naked Juice”. To a regular stomach, this would probably be a treat: blended, whole fruits: a smoothie in a bottle! To my virgin, tender stomach, it brought hours of diarrhea, nausea and a sore stomach that had me scared to eat for hours afterwards! When I spoke to the nutritionist – provided by the wonderful Barix Clinic where my surgery was performed – she shared that it was much too early in my recovery for me to imbibe in any raw fruit, even if it’s liquefied. I became a fan of Vitamin Water; low in sugar, refreshing and a change from Crystal Light. As we all know, you HAVE to mix things up, or you’ll become stagnant.

My menu options have changed. For breakfast, I have taken on drinking a protein shake. One of my pre-op roommates warned, “ANY protein you pick will be gritty and you’ll HATE it”. The newer whey proteins are easier to digest, blend smoothly and taste great! I have fallen in love with Designer Whey’s Fuzzy Naval which is a peach-flavored protein that I blend with orange juice; insuring I’d receive protein, Vitamin C and even calcium if I picked a good brand of juice. To be creative and not have that monotony set in and since it was now the summer months, I began blending different fruits in to give it that extra ‘umph’; blueberries, strawberries, even an apple. It wouldn’t be the most attractive drink, however it is filling and keeps me full until lunch! For an added treat: I add a scoop of plain yogurt to my breakfast concoction.

Join me next month as I share my lunch and dinner menus and the reactions I have from people who believe they aren’t seeing the results and don’t understand how such small portions can be fulfilling.
We’re in April: spring has sprung! Should you desire that hour-glass figure for yourself or your Sweetie , visit my site at: and send a note with any questions.



Thanks for reading

The Big GB - My Gastric Bypass Memoirs

Sonya's Links:

Sonya Bennett on Facebook


     Tales of a Happy Fat Girl is the story of one girl’s journey towards size acceptance in a positive light. Estrelia Mateo was born and raised in Miami, Florida. She began writing poetry and short stories in middle school as way to deal with the teasing and bullying she received due to her weight. She has won numerous awards for writing including being nominated for the Silver Knight Awards in Journalism by the Knight-Ridder Foundation.


     Estrelia is also one of the founding members of Chi Zeta Theta Sorority, Inc. Chi Zeta Theta Sorority, Inc. is a multi-cultural sisterhood with the purpose of uplifting, encouraging and empowering the plus size woman. Estrelia currently resides in Boca Raton, FL.


A Happy Fat Girl Tale of Nudity

with Estrelia Mateo


      Any way you look at it nudity has been a big issue in our society, whether it is about covering it up or taking it off. People will always have problem with nudity. One of the biggest issues with nudity is who gets to be naked. It seems like no one has issues with a thin person showing as much skin as possible, in fact it is often encourage. If you walk into any clothing store that caters to thin women you will noticed that most of their clothing show a lot of skin. It’s all about short skirts and little tops.


      Now walk into a store for plus size women and you will notice that most of the clothing, if not all, is about covering up. Many of the clothes often look like a tarp that you would use to cover a roof after a hurricane. Being plus size is all about covering up and hiding away. We do everything we can to make ourselves smaller so that we don’t take up as much room and so no one will notice us.  We wear griddles to conceal our rolls, muted colors to blend in, and cover ups to hide way our bodies.  So what is a Happy Fat Girl to do at a nude beach?


     Shortly after I had what I like to call my “Faepiphany” (Fat +epiphany=Faepiphany) my friends decided we should go to this nude beach for skip day. Now mind you, I had just come to terms with myself as a Fat Girl so there was no way I was ready to let go that much.  We were set to go that Friday and let me tell you I was freaking out that whole week. I kept trying to persuade them to go somewhere else. I mean I kept telling them no one wanted to see all of me naked and I would make little jokes like everyone would probably run from the beach screaming when I took off my clothes.  They kept telling me I wouldn’t have to get naked but that did nothing to dissuade my fears. 


     The morning we were set to go I was nervous wreck. I kept having visions of us being chased of the beach by an angry mob of skinny people for being fat, a la Frankenstein style.  As I sat in back of my friends car and tried to act all excited, when truth be told I was losing it. When we finally got to the beach I looked around the parking lot and I didn’t see any naked people so I thought I was in the clear until I saw the sign pointing the way to the nude beach. So as we made the walk down to the beach I kept trying to shake the negative thoughts out of my head and I kept telling myself to try to have fun.


     When we got to the beach we tried to find a good spot to settle into and as we walked passed all the nude people I noticed that the thin model people I envisioned on the beach were noticeably absent. The beach was filled with families and older people all reveling in the nakedness.  Let me tell you have not lived until you have seen an old naked person playing beach volleyball. When we put all our stuff down and settled in everyone seemed to be just a nervous as I was to take off their clothes. As I looked around one thing came to mind instead of people looking at us no one seemed to care. They were just happy to be on the beach and enjoying themselves, so I thought if they can do it so could I. So I was the first person in my group to strip down and it was awesome. The sun felt great on my skin and the body parts that never got to see the light of day got to feel the sea breeze on them for the first time. I let myself feel free and had a great time doing it. Looking back on this experience I realized that if I had let all those negative thoughts stop me I had could have missed out on a great time and a great story.




Thanks for reading Tales of a Happy Fat Girl

     Founded in 1969, NAAFA is a non-profit civil rights organization dedicated to improving the quality of life for fat people. NAAFA works to eliminate discrimination based on body size and provide fat people with the tools for self-empowerment through public education, advocacy, and member support.

     This Column is dedicated to the tremendous work NAAFA has been doing for over four decades.  LargeInCharge wishes to support NAAFA in spreading the word of its work, and give the public more information into issues we as plus sized people should be aware of.  The fight for equality for people of all sizes is one we support.


     This Column will include News Releases and Calls to Action from NAAFA Directors.


This Column has been Approved by





NAAFA has recently released our official position on healthcare.  We believe that healthcare is a basic and fundamental human right for all citizens of the world.  Access to healthcare should not in any way be limited by race, gender, age, size, weight, economic status or any other dimension of diversity.


  • That nations of the world should focus economic resources on delivering healthcare to every man, woman & child on the planet.
  • That lawmakers in every nation introduce, pass, enact, and enforce a nationally controlled health plan offering coverage that does not disqualify people based on their body weight or people with pre-existing conditions.
  • That lawmakers in every nation introduce, pass, enact and enforce legislation which protects consumers against discriminatory practices by health insurance and healthcare providers.
  • That BMI or weight must not be used to determine the availability and/or cost of health insurance coverage.
  • That healthcare policy must not include weight loss or BMI as a measure of success in wellness programs.
  • That healthcare policy must not mandate a decrease in weight as a measure of community-based health prevention activities.



  • Support healthcare policies that will provide healthcare to everyone regardless of health status, weight or size.
  • Educate the public and the media to the fact that people can be healthy at every size (HAES) and that good health, not a particular BMI, should be everyone’s goal.
  • Educate the public and the media to the fact that fat people are not the cause of the economic crisis in healthcare today and should not be the scapegoats for every cost cutting solution.
  • Promote alternatives to weight-loss diets in a manner which is sensitive to the emotional and financial investment which many fat people have made in repeated weight-loss attempts.
  • Support the civil and human rights of people of every size.



Thanks for reading

From the Desk of NAAFA



Our WebGirl Lucia Roth, was born in New Orleans, Louisiana. Graduated with a B. A. degree in Communication from Southeastern Louisiana University and is considering going back for her Masters degree. Lucia a people person and is always willing to help out a friend in need. She enjoys music, movies, poetry, and good book on a rainy day. Lucia has several mottos about life.

This is one: Knowledge talks, wisdom listens.



The WebGirl Picks of the Month

Fashion Find Product of the Month

Fashion Find by: Lucia

Fashion Type: Clearance Sale

Why I Like this Item: It gives you the “LOOK” from baby dolls to garter belts… OK! Ladies its time to get your sexy back, and I found a sale just for you. Looking for that perfect hot and sexy outfit check out Big Gals Lingerie.

Sizes: 1x-12x

Big Gals Lingerie
Recommender: Lucia

Name of Product: FAT! So? by Marilyn Wann

Type of Product: Book

Cost of Product: Buy new 10.85 - Buy used 3.48 (prices varies)

Where Product can be found:

This is a wonderful and delightful book that everyone and anyone can enjoy. Fat! So? Is about
Acceptance and standing up for ourselves.

Thanks for coming to Fashion & Products with the WebGirl

Candace Lane (C.L.) is a 24-year-old plus sized artist from Illinois, where she was born and raised. She is a graduate of Proviso East High School. Candace is a certified Patient Care Technician who is experienced in the medical field.

C.L. now works in technical support for a major electronics manufacturer. C.L. is currently pursuing a bachelorette degree in Mixed Media Art. Her artwork has been featured in local artist competitions. Candace considers herself a spiritual person. Being the oldest of four siblings gave her courage to lead and the wisdom to know when to follow.  As a member of what has been labeled Generation Next, she believes that life is a learning experience and everyone can teach you something; you just have to be willing to learn.

In her free time, she enjoys traveling, art, music, good food and great conversation. Presently she is single, sassy and satisfied with where life is taking her.



My Brother's Keeper

with Candace Lane


Am I my brother’s keeper- Genesis 4:9

Okay, people, this isn’t going to be as pretty as some of my past articles…

As a fat woman, I make it a practice to support my own. And by that I mean that I support products and people who promotion plus-sized empowerment. That is the main reason I love and what Raqui does for our community. I believe it is important because we are (no pun intended) our biggest supporters. With that being said, I have never been so disgusted with another human being as I am with Howard Stern and his Yes-man Robin Quivers.

Many of you have already heard the comments about the star of the movie Precious, Gabourey Sidibe. I was so angry, I was nearly in tears. Here you have a young actress who doesn’t fit the status quo of what Hollywood thinks is beauty and they demolish her for it. But why? On his radio show he stated, “For best actress you have the beautiful, Sandra Bullock, Helen Mirren and Meryl Streep 16 time nominee and then you have the world’s most enormous fat black chick.” He went on to state how she will never be cast in another movie and how she could only play “the football player in the blind side 2… Now that you got some money, go get yourself thin… She’s the size of a planet.” Robin pipes in that “You’re sick, this is a terrible thing you have done to yourself… Look in that room, who else do you look like?” I say… Really? Who else do you two look like?

 I guess in an effort to do some damage control, Howard Stern decided to clear up the matter and make sure people took his message “in context.” He stated that his reason for making the comments were that he is the only one who cares about Gabby and he was just saying what everyone else is afraid to. He stated that Gabby needs help an intervention. No Howard, you were being an asshole. He then starting saying how unhealthy she is and how she is going to die. What? I didn’t realize that Howard Stern had access to her medical records. Are you that desperate for ratings? Here you have a man who the phrase a-face-for-radio was probably modeled after, and his overweight-UncleTom-yesman Robin, tearing this girl apart for being different- for being fat. They were all pissed off that there was this young girl who sat amongst all of these Hollywood plastic-beautiful people, just being herself. He said people shouldn’t encourage her because we are saying that her obesity is okay.

Guess what… It is okay. How she chooses to look is her own dang business. How she chooses to life her life is her own dang business. What gives Howard Stern, that yes-man Robin, or anyone else the right to tell Gabby how to live her life? If she wants to be a size nine-million-nine-hundred and ninety-four, so be it. If she wants to be a size 5, so be it. It is her right to chose how she wants to live her life. Nobody is running around here telling Howard to wash that dingy hair! Because he feels her weight is “unhealthy and she needs help”, he said every degrading, hurtful thing that he could use that pea-sized brain to come up with. If he really cared about her, he would realize that those comments have the potential to do 10x the damage that being obese can. He didn’t say that about people who drink, or smoke or do any of the things that we know can kill them. But let’s have an intervention for the fat chick. Then, he had the nerve to state  “Look what happened to Artie and how he tried to kill himself.” Maybe he tried to kill himself because of all of the B.S. he has had to deal with from people like you. YES, HOWARD AND YOUR FAT SIDE KICK, YOU DID THAT!

And all for what? Clearly, nothing he said was going to inspire Gabby to lose any weight. Those who truly mean to inspire, don’t do it by being malice or degrading. How many of you have had someone say something to be hurtful and said “Okay! I guess I better go lose weight now”? My guess is no one. It never “helped” me. It only instilled a depression, eating disorders, fear and anger.

I say these things for Gabby because I am my brother’s keeper. When Howard said these things about her, he said them about me and about you. I never listened to him before that show and if I did, I would surely be boycotting him right now. People forget that it is people who look like Gabby that keep people like him and his yes-man with a job. Regular folk who don’t look like the society that he himself doesn’t even fit in. Howard Stern must have read and modeled his life after Mein Kampf. Death to the fatties and anyone who doesn’t look like “the beautiful Sandra Bullock.” Hide them away with no food until they “get themselves thin.” Would you have been as concerned for Gabby’s weight if she were a size 0 and you could see the grape poking out of her stomach that she ate for lunch three days ago? Probably not, because thin is in in Hollywood. While we are all telling the “truth” let’s just put it out there… if Howard Stern didn’t have money, how many of these “beautiful people” would give him the time of day. It’s amazing that someone could have that much money and still look like a hobo. What is more amazing is that someone could have that much money and still be such a miserable person. That is it, THERE is the truth. All of that money and fame, yet you are still not happy with yourself. You got yourself some money, Howard, how about you hit the gym and see a surgeon about that face? Doesn’t sound all that happy of a statement for me to make, does it?

We have to encourage our fat people and plus-sized role models. If we don’t, who will? Yes, you should feel comfortable in your own skin. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.  We have to say no so shows like Howard Stern and yes to shows like Drop Dead Diva. I don’t support people or enterprises that don’t support me. If you don’t like fatties, you don’t like my fatty money, or my fatty ratings so I won’t give them to you. I don’t eat at any of these restaurants like Subway that only show fat people with a notion of disgust and self pity. Look around you. Most of the people you know look more like you than they do Sandra, Meryl and Helen, so why should we apologize for it? I am who I am. I will make no apologies for being me. If you don’t like it, tough- that is why you have eyes that close and a neck turns. GOD was very thoughtful when HE made mankind. I have no doubt HE knew what HE was doing. For all of the good and the bad, I was created to be me and no one else. I was not designed to mirror and make idol anyone else, even if it means not being one of the “beautiful people.” You know what? I am A-OK with that! 

Be Blessed- C.L.




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