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LargeInCharge Magazine - Starting our Eighth Year

 Issue#85 - April 2011

Welcome to LargeInCharge Magazine

In this Issue of L.I.C.

 

 

Raqui-ism

Words of Wisdom from the Heart & Mind of Raqui

From the Plus Side ~ Emily Smiltneck

 

Good 4 U Food  ~ Xander

 

The Big GB My Gastric Bypass Memoirs - Soyna Bennett

 

From the Desk of NAAFA

National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance

 

Fashion & Products with The WebGirl ~ Lucia Roth

 

Big Beautiful Hollywood ~ Jonny T

 

Fattitude - Its a Fat way of Life ~ Pat Llewellyn

 

The BIG - Beautiful Inspirational Girl  ~ Ms Suga

 

Large Ladies in the Work Place ~ Sherry Graf

 

LargeInChargeDating - Dating for the Large People who are going to be in Charge of their Love Lives!

 

LargeInCharge Friends - The Place for Big People to make Friends and maybe MUCH MORE!

 
Rachel's Village
We all can make a Difference!

Rachel's Village

By: Raqui

 

    

     It's early morning, I turn to channel 45 (Lifetime) as I usually do to listen to Balancing Act. I usually begin to fall back to sleep but not this morning.  A certain young lady appeared on the screen to speak about her mission in life.  What mission could a 11 year old young girl have you may ask.  She wants to provide housing for the poor families of Haiti.

 

     How could this small young girl set her mind, time and effort to such a giant task?  Faith, love and support guide her.  Belief in her efforts fortify her, no one told her she couldn't make a change.  She actually believed she could and that was all it took.  With support from her family she has been able to do incredible things.  Things many of us adults wouldn't even believe we could do.  Yet she took a stand saw a need and dedicated herself to be a spokes person, as well as a activist, and she is making life changes for many families in Haiti.

 

     She is an example to us all. Many times us as plus sized people feel we cannot make a difference.  We feel we have no purpose because we have told we cannot be better, do better, create a change.  Yet here is this young woman (Yes I say young woman because she has taken on a task most of us women wouldn't dream of doing) showing through actions that ANYONE... yes even a young girl can change the world.  With dedication and faith, we can bring about change for others and change for ourselves.

 

Read her story below and see what happens when you have a little faith.

 

Pictures and story taken from the following website:  To donate or comment please visit

www.foodforthepoor.org/rachel

 

 

Rachel Wheeler, 11, has raised enough money to construct 25 concrete double-unit houses with sanitation and potable water. The homes will provide a new start in life for many families displaced by the earthquake.

Please continue to donate to Rachel’s initiative, and be the answer to the prayers of families who lack safe, sturdy shelter. Already living in the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere, the people of Port-au-Prince experienced even more tragedy and heartache after the devastating earthquake and were again battered by Hurricane Tomas and now facing the outbreak of a deadly cholera epidemic.


In addition to meeting the immediate needs of food, medicine and clean water, Food For The Poor has established a goal of building 5,000 homes this year. A donation of $3,200. can provide a single unit house with a latrine and shower stall. This will provide housing recipients with access to proper sanitation and privacy. Proper sanitation is essential to the health and welfare of a thriving family and helps prevent life-threatening illnesses.

Homes in Rachel’s Village will be built near an existing fishing village in Kay Piti, Leogane, Haiti . Food For The Poor provides the fishermen with seaworthy boats, reliable engines, fishing tackle, coolers, freezers, locking storage sheds and safety equipment. This enables the fishermen to work in deeper, more bountiful waters with larger and more marketable fish. In return, the fishermen must agree to contribute a minimum of 5 percent of their catch to help feed others in their communities.

Rachel’s plan has been to approach people and business owners, and ask them to donate $200 to Food For The Poor. Initially her goal was to build 13 homes - Rachel’s Bakers Dozen. Thanks to generous supporters, Rachel has raised the money to accomplish the bakers dozen and now wants to continue her efforts to build an entire village.

Rachel originally was inspired to come to the aid of people in Haiti when she visited Food For The Poor in April 2009, and heard President/CEO Robin Mahfood speak about the country’s dire situation.


 


 
 

Thank you for Reading The LargeInCharge Feature

Please send thoughts and comments to

articles@largeincharge.com

 

Jessyca Christman

Cover Model of the Month Interview

Interview:

 

LargeInCharge.com: What is your name?

Jessyca, my modeling name I use is MsKurvyQT


LargeInCharge.com: Where are you from and what is your current Location?

I am from Kansas City, KS, but currently living in Olathe, KS.


LargeInCharge.com: Can you give us some information about yourself (Age, Height, Size, Nationality, Marital Status, Children, etc.)?

I am 28, 5’7 a size 22/24, Caucasian, in a wonderful relationship, no kids yet, but I hope to become a wife and mother someday! I am a positive, happy person that loves life and all of its ups and downs!


LargeInCharge.com: Were you a big child, or did you gain weight later in life?

I have always been known as the “fat” girl, it wasn’t until I was in the 6th grade and I received a compliment from a plus sized school teacher (Mrs. Robinson) that I realized I am beautiful JUST as I am! From that day in the halls of Argentine middle school, I knew I was meant to be so much more than JUST the “fat” girl!


LargeInCharge.com: (If you were a big child) how did you feel growing up as a large child?

Throughout elementary school it was hard, I heard every horrible name from fatty, to Ms. Piggy (which I now see as a foxy diva pig!) to cow and well every name young children learn to use to insult one another.

I learned early on to become the funny “fat” girl, I figured if I was making the kids laugh it took their attention away from the fact I was still fat! It worked pretty well, but looking back on all the other kids I used to deflect my own hurt feelings, I wish I would have used a different tactic. But through all of the trials in life, I have wonderful friends and family that have always supported me just as I am, and for that I am truly a blessed “fat” girl!


LargeInCharge.com: What made you decide to enter the LargeInCharge model search?

I’ve wanted to enter for awhile, but I wanted to build up my modeling portfolio with some more professional photographs. So now that I have worked with some great photographers, I feel ready to bring my A game to the table and hopefully become a 2011 Large In Charge Cover model!


LargeInCharge.com: Did you find it a hard journey to be accepted for your size?

Overall I can honestly say I’ve never had a big issue with my body in respect to size. I do wish I had a rounder booty (yes, coming from a big girl I know that sounds crazy! :o)) and a fuller set of lips, but I have always loved every inch of my body.


LargeInCharge.com: Do you find acceptance among your family and friends?

YES! YES! YES! My friends; both old and new, and family have been nothing but accepting and supportive of me since I was a young girl, my weight was and has never been a problem.


LargeInCharge.com: What would you say inspires you most in life?

Life, knowing that every day given to me, I am one step closer to achieving all of my goals in life, I can inspire or motivate someone to be or do better in their own life, I can make a difference. Life itself is inspiring!


LargeInCharge.com: What is your primary occupation?

Being ME!! It’s the easiest job ever!! Other than that I am a business owner, I am in the process of opening an online plus size boutique, I am redeveloping my original website to help ALL plus size business women to reach their goals by providing a site all for US! And I have a million and 1 other ideas to dip my toes into as my life continues to blossom!


LargeInCharge.com: How did you get into this line of work?

Modeling has always come pretty natural, I ALWAYS had a million new pics on my social networking pages! But I think it was a friend request to me by a plus size modeling group on myspace.com that got me curious, and I submitted photos to them and was accepted and it just blossomed from there. But I have been in a hiatus from the industry for awhile, but I think 2011 is my year to shine again!


LargeInCharge.com: Do you find acceptance in the work force?

I’ve never had an issue in any job with my weight.


LargeInCharge.com: What changes do you believe should take place for Large People in the work force?

I think that there is always room for improvements, as I am sure there are people of size that have experienced negativity in the work place. I think educating managers and co-workers of the facts about being plus sized would be a great start. Teaching them that we are people too, and we have feelings and emotions the same as everyone else. And more simply asking them to respect us and not look at our size, yet get to know us as a person. I think breaking down those stereotypes and barriers would change how we are perceived from non plus size people.



LargeInCharge.com: What do you think about the fashion industry for big sized clothing?

I think we have come a LONG way!!! We have come together to develop our own styles, trends and sense of beauty with all of our curves! The fashion industry is ever evolving and I see plus size continuing to become more and more popular!


LargeInCharge.com: What do you wish to see change with the fashion industry?

I think the biggest thing that is still developing is the definition of what “real” plus size is. I truly believe in time, a 12 or 14 will no longer be considered the “norm” and real plus size women of ALL sizes will be used on runways all over the world!


LargeInCharge.com: What changes do you think will happen if plus sized modeling for men and women were to expand?

That we as plus sized men and women will become more confident, the rolls we play in society will no longer be limited to just being the “fat” person, we will begin to change into “normal” people and we will be considered inspiring for not being held back by our size!


LargeInCharge.com: Tell us some of the places you buy your clothing from.

Lane Bryant, Torrid, Fashion Bug, Simply Fashions, Rainbow, Ashley Stewart and soon my own personal store, Kurvy Boutique!


LargeInCharge.com: Tell us one of your secret beauty tips.

I am pretty simple, but my #1 rule is to always have chap stick on hand! Crusty lips are never sexy!!!


LargeInCharge.com: Give us some tips on how to have a successful Photo shoot. What should models be prepared for?

Be yourself!! Nervousness will show up in your pictures, so relax, be natural and HAVE FUN!! I personally like for a photographer to give me pose tips or direct me throughout the shoot. As they can see outfit issues, pose problems or anything else that might mess an entire pic up. So don’t be shy to ask for tips on poses, it’s their job to capture our beauty!

LargeInCharge.com: Look at Size acceptance five years ago... look at size acceptance now. What changes do you see?

It still has a long ways to go before it’s no longer an issue, and like every other discrimination it will never be completely eliminated. But we have made a tremendous head way in movies, fashion, and leadership roles. We in the plus sized community stand strong together and have worked hard to bring awareness to our cause!


LargeInCharge.com: What changes do you think will happen five years from now with size acceptance?

I think we will continue to grow as a community, more opportunities will evolve for us and we will continue to shine as the amazingly vibrant people we are!


LargeInCharge.com: Tell us about your goals as far as modeling and other interests.

I love modeling; I would love to do some more professional jobs as a model in the future. I hope to inspire other plus size young women to stand up and show their confidence as well. I am hopeful to accomplish my goals to make my company a success and help as many people as I can along my journey!


LargeInCharge.com: What have you accomplished as a Plus Sized Model?

I have been told numerous times by other plus sized women that I have inspired them to dress up more, go out and have fun and stop using their size as an excuse to not live their life! That truly inspires me to continue to become a better me!

LargeInCharge.com: Have you entered or won any Contests, Pageants or Awards? What was the experience like?

I was model of the month on www.plussizeprofile.com, in August 2009, as well as a few other contests online through myspace.com. I have done a couple fashion shows at Torrid and Fashion Bug for their stores. I have been on hiatus for the last year, so I am just now getting back into the swing of things!


LargeInCharge.com: Can you tell us about an inspirational moment in your life that made you feel good about your size.

Whenever I am told that I have inspired another plus sized woman to be more confident, I am overwhelmed with joy! I couldn’t ask for a better feeling!


LargeInCharge.com: Is there a person in your life that makes you keep going?

God, He is the one that carries me through my life everyday! I am blessed for all He has given me and all He has allowed me to accomplish in my life! As well my nieces and nephew make me want to work hard to make this world better for them and their future!


LargeInCharge.com: What advice would you give to other people of size who want to model?

Go for it! It’s hard work, but when you see your pictures and know that you are doing something that you love, it’s worth all of that hard work!

LargeInCharge.com: What plus size figure do you most

Her name is KeKe Dillard. She is smart, confident, and extraordinarily talented. She inspired me to want to do more for the plus sized community and follow my dreams along the way!


LargeInCharge.com: Describe yourself with one word.

“Fat”astic!

 

 

 

Thanks for reading about our

Cover Model of the Month

articles@largeincharge.com

 

     Raqui the Owner and Founder of LargeInCharge.com, Raqui's  "Tell it like it is" style of writing has brought thousands to her blogs and millions to LargeInCharge.com.  There is so much behind the woman who has brought this magazine into existence.  Being Internationally known as a wrestler/squasher lead the way to modeling for companies and being featured in magazines and documentaries from all over the world.  She has made a career out of her size and personality. Born, Raised and Residing in the Bronx NYC. This city girl is taking the world by storm.

 

     For the past 6 years Raqui officially moved into Size Acceptance and Empowerment.  With the creation of LargeInCharge she took what she said to individuals to a higher level and made it public to the internet world. She is a woman who doesn't let things get to her.  Knock her down for the moment but she will rise up stronger and better.  Being a speaker on behalf of many subjects and counseling Plus Sized people online her grace and style has made people love her.  Raqui continues to set an example of a powerful woman who will bend the world to fit her, her way.

 

     Raqui's appearances include, Uk Television, German TV, Japan, Europe, Sweden and the Spanish circuit.  Her many magazines appearances have been world wide.  She has hit American Television in 2006 with Good Morning American and since has appeared on The Cristina Show,  The Maury Show and The Tyra Banks Show.

To view her Online portfolio visit www.Raqui.com

Raqui featured on Gordos.com and Glamour Plus - go to www.Raqui.com Portfolio Section

RaRaqui-ism - Its a Come Back - GYN isn't enough get a Sonogram!

Written By: Raqui 

Why test for Ovarian Cancer in Plus Sized Ladies

    
I received the scare of my life a few weeks ago when I went for my yearly GYN appointment.  My doctor has been my GYN doctor for almost 10 years.  After my exam She casually says, "I think you should go for a sonogram."  "A Sonogram?"  I reply "Why?" "Well I want you to get checked for Ovarian Cancer."  "CANCER" is the only word I heard.

 

     Me Cancer,  no way I mean come on.  I am too healthy for cancer.  Wait I am to young for cancer.  I CAN'T HAVE CANCER!  I kept calm and she gave me some paper work so that I can get the sonogram done.  But inside I was really scared.  Because in reality Cancer can hit you at any age and that last thing I wanted to think about was that I might have something hidden in my body that could take my life.

 

     So I start asking all my bbw friends about this certain test but no one knows about it.  I start asking smaller women, ssbbw women, shoot I asked strangers in the doctor's office.  But no one knows anything about it.  My mother almost had a nervous break down when I mentioned it so I decided to change the subject.  I  began to ask my online friends and one woman had the test but for different reasons.  I really started to get frustrated and very worried.  Finally I got some answers and it came to a surprise, but completely makes sense:  EVERY SINGLE big woman bbw or ssbbw should be getting this test YEARLY.

 

     It is called a Vaginal Sonogram,  It is done while your on a regular GYN table.  They put a plastic coated wand about the size of a hot dog into your vagina.  It does not go very deep.  The wand takes the sonogram through your pelvis and they are able to get pictures of your uterus and ovaries.  You don't have to drink water and all they do is move the wand  around a little to get a better picture.  It takes about 10 minutes and is simple.  It was much better than getting a Pelvic exam and was not a big deal.

 

     Why should all Big Ladies get this test on a yearly basis?  I talked to a friend of mine who gets these tests, and a  friend who is a Nurse and these are the reasons.

  • With many plus sized people during a GYN exam the uterus and ovaries are NOT being felt properly or not being felt at all!

  • The Vaginal Sonogram enables the uterus and ovaries to be seen and examined for growths, cists and tumors.

  • Cancer, Cists, Growths etc. do not hurt until it is too late to do something about it.

  • The Vaginal sonogram allows the doctor to see what they cannot feel.

  • Cancer and other problems can be detected early with this test when the chance of recovery is good.

    

     It is a shame that all GYN doctors are not informing Plus Sized ladies about this during an exam.  If the Doctor cannot feel every thing they should automatically send you for this exam for YOUR OWN GOOD.  Out of all the people I talked to  80 % of them being BBW or SSBBW.  Only one person was able to tell me more about it in detail and why we should be getting this exam every year.   That means most BBW's and SSBBW's are not being examined correctly.  Most women in general do not go for the yearly GYN exam especially Large Ladies who are embarrassed, ashamed or just don't want to go through the hassle.

 

     My friend who is a nurse said that all women should get this test from time to time but especially Bigger women should have it no less than every other year. Large Ladies can go on for years with tumors, cists, growths that might be cancerous or non cancerous growing and have no idea about it.  When you start getting pain the cancer might have spread to much and you might not be able to recover.  Or they might have to take out all your reproductive organs instead of an ovary.  With out your ovaries to give you estrogen you will have to take estrogen pills which can actually cause different types of cancer over time. So the most important thing is to get examined yearly and if you got a problem with regular testing and exams problems can be detected early enough to do something about it.

 

SO WHAT SHOULD WE DO ABOUT IT:

  1. Find a GYN doctor you like and get yearly exams.

  2. Ask your Doctor if they are able to feel your uterus and ovaries properly during the exam.

  3. If they don't feel them perfectly ask to have a Vaginal Sonogram.

  4. If your doctor refuses find another doctor and speak to them in advance saying you want Vaginal sonograms at least every other year.  In reality you should have it every year.

  5. If you feel pain at anytime go in to speak with your doctor.

  6. Remember Early Detection is the Key, If your doctor doesn't have your best interests at heart you need a new doctor.

 

     We need to fight for our rights,  We are paying for medical care and if you have government assistance or insurance it is there for a reason.  So that you stay healthy.  If you don't demand the proper treatment who will?  If you don't have insurance or any way to pay for your GYN, birth control and other treatments.   Look up Planned Parent hood in your area.  At planned parent hood you can apply for a special Medicaid that takes care of GYN, birth control and any type of medical care that has to deal in the GYN field.  You will be able to use it with your own regular doctor you don't have to use Planned Parenthood services.

 

Stay well Ladies and remember, even though you might not like the exam or test it is important for your health and life!

 

 


LargeInCharge Radio - Weekly Radio show discussing Plus Sized Issues.  Friday's 7-9 pm EST - Call in & Chat in our Chat Room.

Raqui's Cool Links

www.raqui.com  

Raqui's My Space Page

Raqui on Twitter

 

Thank you for Reading Raqui's Spot

Please send thoughts and comments to

articles@largeincharge.com

From the Plus Side

with

Emily Smiltneck

     From the Plus side will be column dedicated to short stories that deal with all aspects of Plus size Life.  Emily Smiltneck was chosen for this position because of her dedication, and realistic writing style. She captures the emotional and mental rollercoaster those who are Plus Sized go through.

 

     Emily Susanne Smiltneck lives in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan (pretty much dead center in the middle of nowhere). She is a substitute teacher, and has recently started a tutoring business. Emily is currently working on several writing projects, including a historical fiction novel and several collections of poetry.

Emily Smiltneck receives recognition in Neighbors Daily Press - See article below

    

     It is a great joy when our fellow Plus Sized people receive recognition for their life's work.  Join me in this Joyous moment when one of our LargeInCharge writers is seen for her contribution and great dedication to her goals in life.  Click the images above to read the article about our dear Emily. When the page open click on the article to zoom in and read it.

 

The Adventures of Phatgurl

by Emily Suzanne Smiltneck  

 

The Adventures Of Phatgurl is a serial collection of stories about the adventures of Jany, a plus-sized young woman who, in desperation, places an ad on a personals website.  As she embarks on her dates, she meets many different kinds of men who expect many different things from her.  Some of her adventures are wildly amusing and others are more serious and even sad. 

 

If you have any ideas or experiences, funny or otherwise, that you would like to see depicted in a future Phatgurl story, please e-mail me at emilysuzanne20@hotmail.com.  I will do my very best to incorporate all reader ideas into future columns.  Thanks!

 

The Ad (Part 2)

SWSSBBW seeks SM who will not rape her, emotionally or otherwise.  The ability to both speak and write in complete sentences is a plus.  Must not inadvertently throw her down stairs or pretend that she is “Mama.”  Intelligent conversation, a little respect, and the lack of a current significant other will get you far.  And a well-developed sense of humor won’t hurt, either.  If you like smart chicks with jelly bellies and thunder thighs, reply to phatgurl@personalz.com

 

Enlightened

    

 

Jany removed her keys from her pocket to unlock her apartment door and promptly dropped them on the floor.

“Woops. You dropped something,” Frank said, grinning and looking pointedly from Jany to the keys and back again.

“A gentleman would pick them up for me.”

“And a guy like me would let you do it so he could get an eyeful when you bent over. I don’t remember claiming to be a gentleman.”

Jany rolled her eyes but bent down to retrieve her keys.

“And I didn’t do that for you. I did it so we don’t have to stand out here all night.”

“Works for me. Same results.”

Inside, Jany dropped her keys and coat on a chair and then stood awkwardly in the center of the room. Frank, who never seemed to feel awkward, stood easily in front of the door and studied the room.

“Nice place. Only one thing wrong with it.”

“What? What’s that?”

“It’d look better with this—” he stepped forward to drag a finger down the front of Jany’s sweater—“right over there.” He pointed to a spot on the floor near the couch.

“I—uh, I see. Well, why don’t we just sit down for a bit and see what happens.”

“Oh, I want it, you want it, it’ll happen. But if I have to let you pretend, I’m down with that.”

Jany nervously perched on the edge of the couch and looked at Frank expectantly. He sat on a chair across the room. She must have looked confused, because Frank asked her what was wrong.

“I guess I just sort of expected you to come sit by me.”

“Well, the way you looked at that couch, and the way you’re teetering on the edge of it like that, I figured maybe it was a vicious, man-eating couch that might attack me or something.”

“Oh, shut up! I don’t—do this kind of thing. Not very often, anyway. I’m a little nervous.”

“If I come over there, will you sit back and relax?”

“I’ll try.”

He stood up and reseated himself close by Jany’s side, draping his arm across her shoulders. She leaned on him, soaking in the warm, safe feeling it gave her. Cautiously, she turned to face him, pressing her chest into the side of his body, and gently rested a hand on his knee. Frank leaned over and placed his lips on hers at the same time that he guided her hand beyond his knee, onto his upper thigh. Caught up in his kiss, Jany grasped his thigh tightly as she pulled herself closer to him. This was much better than in the hotel or whorehouse or whatever it was they’d been in last time. It was more comfortable, and they were taking things more slowly, and since they’d already been together once, there was no fear that he might jump up and run from the room as soon as soon as he touched her body and realized how fat she really was.

When Frank slid his hand under Jany’s shirt, she moaned softly. She wanted him, but not here on her couch. Slowly, she pulled away from him and stood up. She walked toward her bedroom, hardly able to believe that it was she who was moving things along. Frank was apparently having a hard time believing it, too.
“Baby? Where are you going? What’s wrong?”

Jany almost giggled; arrogant, self-assured Frank sounded a little worried now. She thought about letting him wonder what her intentions were, but in the end she decided that she wanted her own needs met too badly to pretend she might deny him of the chance to fulfill his.

“Follow me and see,” she replied softly, then held her breath and waited to see if he would. She wondered if she’d ever be able to get over this damn insecurity that always seemed to pop up at the very worst times. And of course, he did follow her.

In her bedroom, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her long and hard. Her knees buckled a little and her insides suddenly felt like molten lava surging through every part of her body. She backed up until she was standing against her bed, where she could lean on her mattress to keep herself standing. Then she gave up and let herself fall backwards onto her bed, pulling Frank with her.

The impact of his body falling against hers as they landed on the mattress had the same effect as a shot gun going off to start a race. Frank and Jany were suddenly all tense muscles and motion, hands racing across each other’s skin. First one shirt came off, then the other—Jany wasn’t even sure whose had come off first or who had made it happen. Then Jany’s bra was off and she was shivering with the warmth of his skin against her breath, his fingers and lips pinching and nipping their way across her skin. She wanted him more than she’d ever wanted anyone or anything before.

Except, suddenly, she wasn’t on her bed with him anymore. Physically, she was, of course, but mentally, it was Selena’s body pressing against hers, Selena’s mouth devouring hers, Selena’s hand rubbing over her nipples and causing her jaw to go slack. Damn it!

This was not the time for thoughts of Selena to interfere. Jany wriggled out from under Frank and bolted from the room. She had to get away from her bed, the bed she and Selena had spent the night in. Frank’s muffled voice chased her: “Again?”

Jany had to think fast, had to keep things going, had to somehow make this change of location a part of the plan. She was suddenly grateful for her imagination, her creative streak, her flair for drama. It was the only thing that could save this situation.

“I—I’m out here,” she called tentatively, then squeezed her eyes shut and went for it. “Come an’ get me, big boy!” By the time he made it into the living room, Selena was naked, stretched out on the couch, smiling in what she hoped was a seductive way. She relaxed a little as Frank shed his own clothing and joined her on the couch.

“Yeah, baby. Ohh, yeah,” he breathed. “I want you so bad.”

She stopped talking as his hands frantically explored her body, then tried to gather up her thoughts. “Do you—are we—there’s a condom in my pocket,” she finally whispered, cringing at her awkwardness. “But my pocket’s over there.”

“Got it,” he whispered back, and rolled away to search her skirt pocket. He found what he was looking for and rejoined her on the couch. What followed was the best thing that Jany had ever felt in her entire life. She never wanted it to end—his skin sliding across hers, his hands wrapped around her wrists, his breath hot against her breasts. When he was finally done, when they were both done, and Frank had collapsed and was draped across her body, Jany thought she might never be able to walk to talk or even breathe again. They lay there, silent and still, catching up with themselves. Finally, Frank got up.

“Where’s your bathroom, Babe?”

Jany pointed and he gathered up his clothes and disappeared. When he came back into the room, he was fully dressed and Jany, suddenly self-conscious again, wished she would have dressed while he was gone as well. She tried to sink into the corner of the couch, pulled her knees up, crossed her arms. Frank sat down next to her.

“Pretty good stuff, hey?” he asked, winking. “I knew you wanted me. Smart girl.” Jany rolled her eyes at him but didn’t respond. “Okay, well, I better be going before I get myself in trouble.”

“You mean any more than you already got yourself in?”

“I like that kind of trouble. I meant when I get home.”

“Is your mama gonna ground you or something?”

“Nah, my woman just doesn’t like it when I’m out too late. Doesn’t bother you that I’m married, right? I never thought to ask. I like a girl that wants me enough to use me for her own selfish pleasure.” He grinned an evil grin and winked again.

For the second time in just a few hours, Jany’s stomach felt like it had dropped right out of her body. She couldn’t answer him, was afraid if she opened her mouth she might cry. She just half nodded and half shrugged and didn’t say anything at all.

“Well, I’m gonna take off. Gimme a ring next time you’re lookin’ for some fun, hey?” And then he was gone and Jany, still naked on her couch, was left alone to try and figure out what to do. She felt flattered that he’d told her to call him again, betrayed that he’d let her believe he might want more than just sex from her and then dashed her hopes, repulsed that he was the kind of man who would cheat on his wife, guilty for sleeping with a married man even though she hadn’t known. She felt guiltier still for sort of wishing he wasn’t married because she’d enjoyed herself so much, and she had a sneaking suspicion that she’d done something bad enough that karma might well catch up with her this time.

Most of all, though, she just wanted chocolate, and she cursed herself for having cleaned out her kitchen so thoroughly. 

 

   
   
 

Thanks for reading

From the Plus Side with Emily Smiltneck

articles@largeincharge.com

 

Emily's Cool Links

www.myspace.com/heartsoulspirit

 

     Xander brings blend of life experience and culinary twist to his writing. From cooking on television and live demonstrations, to writing Xander cook’s like he feels. A former Chicago native transplanted to Tennessee, His goal has been to experience the fullness of food heritage. He believes that as a people and society, can learn a lot from what we eat. Combining a great life lesson and a easy recipe.  They go hand-in-hand to provide a tasty addition to your day. Xander has to confess that ingredients in a great meal are like the ingredients in a great life are never far apart.

 

   

To Where It all Started and Ended

by Xander The Food Dude

 

I sit here tonight with a vague impression of what I want to convey this month.  At last March has arrived and thus the dance of Spring is on us again.  Yes, at last the cold and snow is gone for another few months, but damn, here come the bugs and sweltering heat of the summer.

 

I have spent the last couple of days rounding up all the magazines I’ve collected over the last few years and have torn out the articles I want to keep.  At this point, I’ve gotten rid of about 1,000 pounds of magazines and kept about 200 pounds in articles.  Eventually I hope to scan those into the computer and get rid of the paper version.  I ask myself quite often, that if I haven’t looked at them in two years what do I need with them now ?  Ah, the questions that can’t be answered by a packrat.

 

The things that hits me the most is the dates on the magazines.  Some of these are better than 5 to 10 years old and I’m only now looking at them.  However, I have noticed the dates on them and for some I can actually recall the date of purchase.  I can see myself in my mind of when and where I was when I bought them.  One, for example was a Men’s Health I bought for an article on losing weight from April 2000.   Another was a cooking magazine from 1996 that I specifically recall purchasing because of the Spanish Soufflé recipe it had in it.  I detail this to you because since April of 2000 I haven’t lost any weight and I never did make that Spanish Soufflé.

 

As I continue through I find a magazine on sky diving (once a serious goal, If I would only lose the necessary weight) and a hiking magazine in which is notes the ultimate goal of any backpacker is to lighten the load for the journey.  AND THEN IT HITS ME….

 

My greatest fears have come to pass and only reason I haven’t realized it is that I am too stupid to see it.

 

For the last year I have been thinking that through some oddity I am in the midst of a mid-life crisis due to my turning 40 almost a year and a half ago.  Now I can honestly say its turned into a high level of self-loathing.  I have to finally acknowledge that ultimately I have failed at everything I have undertaken.  I have no goals that inspire me, no dreams to achieve.  I have surrounded myself with a mountain of shit I can never hope to use and it’s burying me.  In short, I am not happy and don’t see the hopes of every truly being happy with my life. (If you’re thinking, Damn, this is a major Bummer to read, think about how I feel to actually writing it.)  THEN I DO IT….   I actually take the time to read two articles that I just tore out.   I read the one about skydiving and hiking.   I read this knowing that the reality is that I will never go hiking or skydiving.  I’m thinking the whole time… what the heck am I doing wasting MORE time just throw them away

The two articles, oddly present me with maybe a partial solution to one of my problems.  The hiking article talks about when people first start hiking they think they have to take everything they might need with them.  This results in a heavy load to carry and make the hike more taxing than it needs to be and you can’t go as far as a result of the effort.  The skydiving magazine has a primary story on being able to recover from a snag primary chute.  The first thing your must do before you can open your reserve chute  is to dispense with the failed primary chute otherwise it will only snag your reserve chute on deployment.  They call this the act of “cutting away”.

 

The stories spoke to me in my desperation.  It’s time to lighten my load and cut away parts of my life to lighten my load.  Maybe this will make the long journey ahead easier.  Maybe its my desperation that makes me look for meaning in places that there shouldn’t be, or maybe it’s God’s sense of humor, or God’s pity for me.  Whatever it is, some things have come closer to being clear.  One, you can only read so many self help books before you know the real reason you fail.  You can only ignore the problem so long before you know what the real problem is…..  in my case.. the problem is me….. there something wrong with me.  The reality is that its always be there and its time to fix it.

 

Over the next few months I’ll keep you posted on the cut away process, the ups and downs.  I hope through it all we can all garner something good from it.  Some of you may feel the same way… If so, welcome to my boat, and no, you can’t bring that will you.

 

Keep posted.  In the mean time, enjoy the recipe I’ve included for you, it from April of 1996…   (yeah, go ahead and laugh,  I did.)  Next Month… Hot Sauce…. Just in time to start grillin’ and turn up the heat.

 

 

Xander's Recipe of the Month

 Spanish Soufflé Omelet

The soufflé omelet is an omelet in which the eggs have been beaten until they triple in volume, It is then started on the stove top and finished in the oven where the eggs soufflé up yielding an omelet with a huge WOW factor. This omelet is easy to make and the finished product is light, airy and quite delicious.

 

Start by sautéing 3-4 tablespoons each of diced onion and red bell pepper in 1 tablespoon olive oil. Saute until soft, about 5-8 minutes. Add 1/4 teaspoon salt to 3 eggs in a mixing bowl, beat with an electric mixer until the eggs triple in volume.

Heat an eight inch oven safe skillet on the stove top on medium heat add 1 tablespoon of olive oil and butter, when the foam subsides add egg mixture. When edges just start to set add sautéed onion pepper mixture, 3-4 tablespoons of your favorite salsa and 1/4 cup shredded pepper jack cheese.

Place skillet on the middle rack of an oven preheated to 350 degrees. Bake for 4-6 minutes or until the middle is just set.

When the omelet is fully cooked remove from the oven, be careful the handle is hot, and start to slide the omelet onto a plate. When the omelet is half way out of the skillet use the pan to fold the last half of the omelet over the first half so that it looks like the picture above.

Finish the plate with fresh fruit and heart-shaped scones like above. The recipe for the dried fruit cream scones, a staple at my restaurant The White Bear Cafe, can be found in another February 2010 blog post.
This omelet can be served for breakfast, brunch or dinner. How about at midnight after you return from the theater? Also you can serve 2-3 people by doubling the ingredients and using a 10"-12" oven safe skillet.

 

 

 

 

   
 

Thank you for Reading Good Food 4U

By Xander the Food Dude

Please send thoughts and comments to

articles@largeincharge.com

   

In 2007, Sonya was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes; a generational curse that she had prayed to avoid, but didn’t worry about while she piled butter pecan ice cream on her German Chocolate Cake.    Only a few months into this diagnosis, she woke up one morning unable to walk and in excruciating pain in her left foot.  Doctors finally diagnosed an acute tendonitis, exacerbated by uncontrolled diabetes. 

That was the wake-up call, She had suffered for years with high cholesterol and sleep apnea; all associated with her weight,  it wasn’t until this happened (wheelchair bound for a month and on crutches following that) did she tell herself "I have to do something about my weight."  On April 17, 2008, Sonya had the gastric bypass medical weight loss procedure and it was the best decision that she made for herself.  In these upcoming writings, Sonya invites you to learn the ups and downs of gastric bypass: through the eyes of one who lives it every day.
 
Angela : In Recovery
with Sonya Bennett

    

 

 

Coming out of recovery from gastric bypass surgery is an interesting experience. The only thing I can compare it to is childbirth; when everyone comes to see you and they are so excited for you. Yeah, this kind of feels like childbirth, except they don't present you with a crying baby, they present you with a list of after-care instructions which include notes/concern and comments from the Respiratory Tech, the Nutritionist, the Program Director, your friends and family. Here are a few things:

The Respiratory Tech: Take a deep breath in, now blow it out. Yes, I know you’re feeling those sore abdominal muscles; now wrap your lips around the mouthpiece of this Incentive Spirometer (a plastic item used for measuring the volume of air inspired and expired by the lungs) and blow hard!

The Nutritionist: Today you will be on liquids, tomorrow on pureed foods, at home you need 3 to 6 ounces of protein...

The Gastric Bypass Program Director: Okay, time to get up and go for a walk! Are you dizzy? Are you nauseous? You are going to be fine!

Your friend: "Angie, are you in pain? Should I get the nurse?"

Your Pastors: "Sister Angie, we came to show you support and to pray with you"

Your daughter: "Mommy, I love you"

Of course my thoughts are, “Wow! I did it! Like my Aunt Annette and younger sister before me, I now am a member of the ‘post-surgery’ sorority. It was kind of an intriguing initiation; pre-surgical clearances and blood work, a liquid diet and prayer and now I am here! Now I can TRULY feel like I am in charge of my life. Now I can control my eating, my medications, my physical activity and my Spiritual growth”.

Coming home from surgery was a thrill; I felt every bump in the road on the car ride home, but the youth minister that picked me up from the hospital drove with the windows down and the fresh air on that warm spring day in Orlando was marvelous. By Day 2, riding in the car wasn't so bad (except that my teenager was driving . . . now THAT is a story for you! LOL)

As the days passed, not only did my energy increase but my interest level increased as well. I was braiding my daughter's hair and she even noticed that I was standing, and not forcing her to sit on the floor while I sat on the couch. I remember cleaning the ENTIRE kitchen without asking my daughter for help. I not only loaded the washer and the dryer but I FOLDED the clothes and placed them on hangers AND HUNG THEM IN THE CLOSET! As I write this article I am preparing for my first post-visit to Super WalMart... and I don't plan to drive an electric cart around the store! These every day duties may seem like simple tasks to some, but when you’re 350 pounds and heavier, they can be challenges; especially doing so much in a short span of time.

I feel like I am in control of my life... I really do. My incisions are healing and my outlook looks brighter. I don't even mind checking my blood glucose now - the numbers range from 82 to 98 and I love those numbers! In three weeks I have lost 30 pounds, and I can actually feel the weight coming off... or that may just be the gas in my belly... HA! People are watching the episodes of the documentary and they are leaving supportive comments on Facebook. "Thank you for sharing your story....", "You have inspired me to talk to my daughter about weight loss surgery", " Let me tell you about the day I was wheeled in for surgery and they cancelled my procedure because I was pregnant!".... I can't wait to tell you more of the stories, and more of my accomplishments next month.


Angie BEE Productions
Producing Christian entertainment enjoyed by the entire family!
Check out The BEE HIVE at www.AngieBEE.com 
See our past projects at www.YouTube.com/AngieBEEpresents 

Come see me on tour this summer!
Log onto www.TheChosenTour.com for details

The shows that we are currently creating:
The Hottest Home Hotspot Radio Show -
weekdays from 4-8pm EST on www.V108GospelVibe.net
Glorious Cooking -
returning for a third season on www.FaithiTV.com
The Broadcast Ministry of The Glorious Church of Christ
weekly on www.FaithiTV.com
350 Pounds and Closing... a Gastric Bypass Documentary
debuting exclusively this fall on The Jericho Broadcast Network
Highly Opinionated - A Teen Talk Show
debuting this fall on www.UrbaniTV.com 
VIDEO NEWS - A video version of YOUR press release!
airing Friday's on www.FaithiTV.com  

Come check us out on tour this year! For details, log onto www.TheChosenTour.com 

Visit us online today at
www.Facebook.com/MeAngieBEE
www.MySpace.com/MeAngieBEE


 

   
 

Thanks for reading

The Big GB - My Gastric Bypass Memoirs

Sonya's Links:

www.SonyaBennett.com

Sonya Bennett on Facebook


     Founded in 1969, NAAFA is a non-profit civil rights organization dedicated to improving the quality of life for fat people. NAAFA works to eliminate discrimination based on body size and provide fat people with the tools for self-empowerment through public education, advocacy, and member support.

 

     This Column is dedicated to the tremendous work NAAFA has been doing for over four decades.  LargeInCharge wishes to support NAAFA in spreading the word of its work, and give the public more information into issues we as plus sized people should be aware of.  The fight for equality for people of all sizes is one we support.

    

     This Column will include News Releases and Calls to Action from NAAFA Directors.

 

This Column has been Approved by NAAFA.org

 

Georgia Fat Kids Portrayed As Criminals

from: NAAFA.org - Lisa Tealer

 
NAAFA demands that the Georgia Children’s Health Alliance immediately remove its billboards targeting fat children. Billboards depicting fat kids are extraordinarily harmful to the very kids they are supposedly trying to help.

A 2010 study of caloric intake in a large, nationwide population of children and adolescents has revealed the surprising finding that those who are clinically overweight and obese consume fewer calories than their healthy weight counterparts, beginning at around 7 years of age.

A study from the University of Minnesota in 2006 states that the more weight per se is talked about, the more likely teens are to adopt dangerous dieting behaviors. Labeling a person of any age as obese – especially a child or adolescent – is strongly pejorative and counterproductive.

That same year a study from UCLA suggests our media and cultural obsession with achieving a certain weight does little or no good, and may actually undermine motivation to adopt exercise and other healthy lifestyle habits.

NAAFA supports the Health at Every Size (HAES) tenets which state that healthy habits are good for EVERYONE, no matter what their size. Eat healthy, nutritious foods and enjoy occasional treats. Pay attention to your natural hunger and satiety cues. Move your body in ways that feel good and love yourself just the way you are!

NAAFA challenges the Georgia Children’s Health Alliance to create an advertising campaign that encourages people of all sizes to eat healthy food, add movement to our lives and celebrate our differences.

Contact NAAFA for information on our soon to be published NAAFA Child Advocacy Toolkit. This groundbreaking toolkit will help parents, educators and caregivers understand that all kids deserve love and respect regardless of their body size or shape. Every body is a good body. No one has the right to criticize your body.

NAAFA encourages all concerned parties to contact Mr. Ron Frieson, Chairman of the Georgia Children's Health Alliance, at info@thegcha.org to express your concern about the damage being done by these offensive demeaning billboards

http://www.stopchildhoodobesity.com



Two for One Convention Announcement!
Two times the excitement! Two times the info!

NAAFA is pleased to announce the dates for both our 2011 and 2012 Convention.

As a strategic goal, the NAAFA Board has set out to simplify and streamline all of NAAFA's activities. One of the organization's key events, our major fund raising event of the year, is our annual convention and as such it has been a major focus of our streamlining efforts. In order to help members get the most for their money and budget their time, we have been able to secure the Convention location contracts for the next two years. These contracts lock in our cost at the same levels as our 2010 convention and in some cases gives a further discount.

This year we will be returning to the Washington, DC area for our annual convention.

Thursday, August 4, 2011 - Monday, August 8, 2011!
The Westin Washington Dulles Airport
2520 Wasser Terrace
Herndon, VA 20171

In 2012 we will be having our annual convention in San Francisco.

Thursday, August 2, 2012 - Monday, August 6, 2012!
The Westin San Francisco Airport
1 Old Bayshore Highway
Millbrae, CA 94030

Make plans now to join us in August, 2011 at The Westin Washington Dulles Airport. Room rates are a super low $79 per night and can be booked for Thursday, Aug 4, 2011 - Monday, August 8, 2011! The Westin is prepared to receive your NAAFA convention reservations today at: http://www.starwoodmeeting.com/StarGroupsWeb/booking/reservation?id=1101116740&key=4FB52 

We have worked hard to keep the cost of this convention down and to get the lowest hotel prices we could. $79.00 per night for a premium hotel in the DC area is a significant deal. The Early Bird Special price is $225.00 and will be available beginning February 1 through May 31, 2011. Beginning June 1, full convention price will be $265.00.

We will have again made it easy for you to register for the convention as well as the hotel through our website at www.naafa.org. We encourage you to register for the NAAFA convention package today and look forward to seeing you in DC.

Watch our website for more exciting details as they become available.

Founded in 1969, NAAFA is a non-profit civil rights organization dedicated to improving the quality of life for fat people. NAAFA works to eliminate discrimination based on body size and provide fat people with the tools for self-empowerment through public education, advocacy, and member support.

On the web: http://www.naafa.org  

 

 

 

Thanks for reading

From the Desk of NAAFA

Link

www.NAAFA.org

    

Our WebGirl Lucia Roth, was born in New Orleans, Louisiana. Graduated with a B. A. degree in Communication from Southeastern Louisiana University and is considering going back for her Masters degree. Lucia a people person and is always willing to help out a friend in need. She enjoys music, movies, poetry, and good book on a rainy day. Lucia has several mottos about life.


This is one: Knowledge talks, wisdom listens.

 

I just wanted to re- introduce myself, since I just joined Large In Charge magazine last year. My name is Lulu, and I am a fashion writer for largeincharge.com I am a fashion junkie:) I look forward to finding wonderful fashion find and product of the month for you. I also look forward to chatting with you all an reading some good fashion comments! Please let me know if you have a favorite. Web_girl1999@yahoo.com

 

 

The WebGirl Picks of the Month

Fashion Find Product of the Month

Fashion Find by: Lucia

Fashion Type: 60 % off Clearance/Sale

Price: Varies

Link: http://www.avenue.com

OK ladies it’s time to find the fashions you want at a low cost. Check out the Avenue. I am!
Product of the Month

Recommender: Lucia

Name of Product: Bath & Body

Type of Product: Club of the month

Cost of product: Prices varies: starting at $ 37/month for 3 Months

Where Product can be found: http://www.clubsgalore.com/bath_body.htm

Description: For the woman who has everything, give her or yourself the gift she/you want indulge in herself...Bath & Body of the Month Club
 

 

     My name is Jonny T. I have been an admirer of plus-size women for many years. As a recording artist, I have released a number of projects that celebrate the beauty of big beautiful women.  Over the years, I have seen a lot of faces, heard a lot of stories, and participated in a lot of bashes and clubs. I enjoy a professional career as a recording artist, label, and executive.  I am currently the Executive Assistant for Street Scholar Music Group (SSMG), a new label exclusively distributed by Bungalo Records and Universal Music Group Distribution. So far, it has been a great experience and I have gained a tremendous amount of insight from both the standpoint of artists and decision-makers in the music industry, as well as the entertainment industry as a whole. The goal of my articles is to provide information about what it takes to be successful in the mainstream entertainment industry while being a woman and/or man of size. I look forward to making contributions to Large in Charge and those who read the articles. Choose well, Live well!

 

 

Big Beautiful Hollywood

with Jonny T

This is Jonny T with more perspectives about being a person of size seeking opportunities in the world of entertainment. I had an opportunity to experience the San Diego Bash in Southern California the weekend of March 11-15, 2011.

     What I loved most was the coordinator of the event, Stu Bo, had a vision and saw it all the way through. While there was a lot of hard work and probably a few pitfalls, his determination saw the culmination of an outstanding and successful achievement that is poised for annual continuity.

The event hosted a number of activities and opportunities for friends reconnect and new friendships to blossom. Notably, one of the acts that caught my attention was an act called Buxom Burlesque presented by Voluptuous Entertainment.

This troupe of plus-sized ladies is a visual representation of where talent, skill, dedication, and sexy all meet. Vocally, the singers hit all ranges well and the choreography is impeccable. This is a group of entertainers that are making a bold statement for the BBW community by simply being the talented group they are and brining a classy element of sexy to their performances.

       In my previous article, I made reference to the world of entertainment defaulting to the quality of content, more than the size and look of those delivering the talent. Voluptuous Entertainment delivers a well-polished act and they are catching the attention of many online and through their performances around Southern California and beyond. You can catch them in San Diego on April 3 and in Orange County, CA May 20 and 21, 2011. Visit their website and support these incredible women that are artistically representing this community with class and dignity in some mainstream venues!

 

Pat is a forty something woman living in Southern Ontario, Canada. She has a varied past and has worked teaching literacy and English as a second language to adults, as an environmental science technician and in the health and safety field. Currently she works in marketing.

Pat fiercely believes in human rights for all and has volunteered for organizations that raise funds and develop and implement programs to help impoverished people and educate women in third world countries. Although relatively new to the size acceptance movement, Pat believes with all her heart that people of size deserve equal treatment and respect.
In her spare time she likes to read fiction, go to bashes and spend time with friends.

Words...

with Pat Llewellyn

 

 

Ever have a word or phrase get in your head and consume your thoughts? Earlier this year a friend made a comment and two words stuck in my head. Two words that would free me…

I’ve never felt I’m enough. I’ve spent a large part of my life trying to be more. More responsible, more mature, just more everything. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got a good job, I’m well respected, I’m the one that people turn to in a crisis, I have a great social life and awesome friends, but I’ve been missing something. I always try to stay in control and make things happen the way I think they should happen. Minimizing the emotional and personal risk I was taking. I then saw those two words.

I didn’t know when I first saw those two words they were going to consume my thoughts. When I saw them I thought, “Yeah, I need some of that,” then I moved on with my life. Or so I thought…

Slowly, I’ve begun to realize that I need to seize the moment, to live life and not control it, to take joy in the little things. It’s scary and exciting at the same time. To give up the illusion of control and let life play its self out is probably one of the most frightening things I have ever done. It’s also one of the most exhilarating, too.

I have been struggling with depression for about 13 years now. The past 3 years have been particularly difficult for me. I’ve changed medications, tried therapy and been working on loving the person I am. Since the end of January my mood has lifted, I feel better than I have in a very long time. I’ve come to realize that I am worthy and I don’t need to be more.

I’m sure you are wondering what words could have such a profound effect on a person. They are just words after all. It’s more than just the words it’s the intent and emotion they evoke within me. The words that inspire you will be surely be different, but I hope that you find your equivalent of my reckless abandon.

     Ms Suga is a plus size woman hailing from Sunny South Florida. She is a 24 year old recent recipient of a Bachelor in Arts degree in Communication Studies. Being plus size for the majority of her life she has overcome many obstacles to finally come to the point where she is fully content with herself and her life. This self love has also allowed Ms Suga the privilege of sharing her love with those around her. She is very passionate about life and loves to help others.

     Ms Suga likes to see herself as the one everyone can go to for positive, inspirational and truthful words of advice and/or support. She is the Beautiful Inspirational Girl that is blessed, intellectual, trustworthy, caring and hardworking.

     Ms Suga has had a passion for writing since she was a little girl when she used to think of short stories about what her life would be like as she got older. This is Ms Suga’s first opportunity for her thoughts to be public for the world to see. Excited about this column Ms Suga is also very optimistic of her future in writing and promoting self love and acceptance in the plus size community.

 

Is The Price Right

with Ms Suga

 

If you remember nothing else from spending time with me remember this: Nothing in this world is just given to you, EVERYTHING comes with a price. Think about it like this your favorite pair of jeans that fit every curve to a “T”, that perfect blend of coffee that you have been drinking for the past seven years, even your great-grandmothers necklace that was passed on to you after she died. The price may not always come in the monetary form, but you give something to receive something. As children we usually would say “ I’ll trade ya!”

As adults we realize, you gotta give love to receive love, one must work hard in order to play hard and sometimes it takes money to make money. Nothing in this world is free. I learned this lesson inadvertently during my high school years. Some girls I knew were very, very, very promiscuous. I, at the time, was very shy and didn’t want, better yet know how to handle boys and the topic of sex. Well at age 14 my best friend who was 15 got pregnant from some boy that went to school with her. Sadly enough she had a miscarriage but that didn’t stop my bff at all. Shortly after that she was pregnant again and this time her parents forced her to get an abortion. Needless to say well into her 16th year she was pregnant again and…you guessed it she was going to keep it.

Of course this scared the absolute hell out of me but not enough that one week before she gave birth I followed suit with my friends and turned in my “V-card”. (I pride myself on stating that it’s been nearly 10 years and I have yet to get pregnant or come across any STD’s {knock on wood}) By the time we graduated I had 3 other close friends that had either been pregnant or had become mothers well before the age of 18 forget marriage. This freaked me out even more. Those around me were becoming statistics like we didn’t already have 2 strikes already for being black females.

These women have all survived the strains of being teen-aged mothers and some have gone on to have more children but not without their own share of pain and suffering. I’ve gone through all of this to say that those few minutes of pleasure (literally minutes because the boys we knew were just as young as us) is still giving them a lifetime of struggles. Most young, single, mothers will never tell you they didn’t want their child but they will say they wish they would have waited.

There are a lot of young men in this world that feel it’s easier to live a life a crime than to focus all of their energy and ambition into being someone successful in a positive light. So many children today feel they can be the next Lebron James or the next Lil’ Wayne (Yes! Yes! I just quoted President Obama!!). Yes some of them will be, but our society has put so much praise on the few people that are successful in sports and music in our nation. Most children to feel that they don’t need to work hard just “look” good.

If you poll 100 kids how often will they say they want to be a Senator, or an astronaut, a world class chef, Police officer, Teacher, engineer? I’d bet those numbers will be minimal compared to those that want to be rappers, famous athletes or hell even drug dealers. With the economy the way it is we can live without 700 athletes making 6.7 million dollars a season which is an estimated total of 6 months? Let’s be real people!! Our future will be full of more rappers then nurses. It’s time for a serious reality check.

Is it really worth it to just allow ourselves and our children to fall into stereotypes and statistics? We need to challenge ourselves to strive to be better than we are. Go out and do work in your community. Show your family and friends and even strangers that there are some good people in the world. Show our future generations that there is more to life then flashy cars, naked women and all night parties full of alcohol and drugs.

Our plus size community is in dire need of people like this who strive to show that weight is not just a cover to judge us on. We can be positive influences within our community. Show our future generations that weight does not define you as a person and that as long as you are happy and healthy nothing else should be relevant. I inspire you to make a change and show off your stuff.

This B.I.G. is out to show the world that big people can be sexy, smart, inspiring and powerful. This magazine is all about size acceptance and if you cannot accept you for who you are how can you require that of the world. I inspire you to be the difference! With everything you do good or bad think about this: IS THE PRICE RIGHT?

~Ms Suga~

 

Sherry Jackson Graf was born and raised in Richlands, VA. She was raised in a musical family and began playing bass guitar in the family's gospel group at the age of 8. Her family toured and recorded albums until she was 15 years old. She wanted to attend public high school and chose to go to public school instead of continuing her education with a home tutor. She played flute, bassoon, and percussion for Richlands High School band and was chosen for Flag Corps during marching season. The band won numerous marching and performing awards.

She studied Business Administration in college and moved to Nashville, TN with her father, Larry Jackson and began working at Buddy Lee Attractions, Inc., a booking agency on Music Row. She is currently Executive Assistant to Donna Lee.

She continues her career in the music industry, is an actress, stage manages theater and is looking forward to writing for large in charge.

 

 

Challenges of Balancing Work & Home

with Ms Sherry Graf

 

Work-Life Balance

Work-life balance continues to be a top challenge faced by working women everywhere. Most working women continue to do the household’s grocery shopping, meal preparation, laundry and cleaning.

Being a full time businesswoman and running a household is not an easy feat. We take care of our kids, do the laundry, clean the house, car pool and have to prove to the world that we can be successful business owners and employees. We basically have two lives to lead. We bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan and then clean up the mess before hitting the laptop for some late night last few minutes to get a head start on the next day. Most weeks pass in a blur, one day running into the next.

Looking to the Future

As we move forward we need to prove that different is, in fact, good. As large women entrepreneurs and employees, we bring a different perspective to entrepreneurship and business.

As today’s women entrepreneurs carry the torch that was passed to us by other trailblazing women, we have a responsibility to ensure the next generation of women entrepreneurs have even more opportunities and less challenges than we do.

When I was a little girl and my parents told me I could do anything the boys could do, I believed it. And I believe it even more today. Let’s remember how far we’ve come but let’s not forget what we are still capable of achieving.

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