Add LargeInCharge to your MySpace Friend List CLICK HERE

LargeInCharge Magazine - Eight Year ANNIVERSARY!

 Issue#96 - March 2012

Welcome to LargeInCharge Magazine

In this Issue of L.I.C.

 

 

Raqui-ism

Words of Wisdom from the Heart & Mind of Raqui

 

Good 4 U Food  ~ Xander

 

The Big GB My Gastric Bypass Memoirs 

Soyna Bennett and Angie Bee

 

From the Desk of NAAFA

National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance

 

Fashion & Products with The WebGirl ~ Lucia Roth

 

Fattitude - Its a Fat way of Life ~ Pat Llewellyn

 

The BIG - Beautiful Inspirational Girl  ~ Ms Suga

 

Big Girl, Small World - Gabriela Falarz

 

Dating Survival for Today's Woman

Kathy Hernandez

 

The Observer - Jness

 

LargeInChargeDating - Dating for the Large People who are going to be in Charge of their Love Lives!

 

LargeInCharge Friends - The Place for Big People to make Friends and maybe MUCH MORE!

 
Last Chance for Cover Model Applications
SEE BELOW

Cover Model Applications - SEE BELOW

By: Raqui

 

HOW TO APPLY!

 

 It has been almost Eight years since LargeInCharge opened its online doors to the Big World.  We started with 740 readers March 2004.  We have built up to over 800,000 readers a month.  We have continuously given the Big World article after article.  Fashion tips and clothing companies.   Hot events and self-esteem advice. Interesting information and cool products.  We have changed, grown and become better.  Online Magazines are the big now, doing better than physical paper magazines.  Any successful magazine must have an online presence.  LargeInCharge has been leading the way for the Plus Sized Community.

 

     Now with our Seventh annual Cover Model Search taking place we are beaming with pride.  LargeInCharge keeps our entrance to be a cover model free by using photographs that the person submits for our covers. We donít ask for an entry or submission fee from our models.  All we ask for is clear good photographs that would be considered portfolio type of pictures. At the end of the year we have a voting for the public and name one of them Cover Model of the Year he or she wins prizes and possibly money from our sponsors depending on what our sponsors give that year.

 

     Being a LargeInCharge cover model can be a great add on to your comp card or resume.  It can also be a feather in the cap of aspiring models.  So many beautiful and handsome big men and women who are not professional models can now be featured where they will be appreciated.  NO MORE SIZE 18 or 2XL ONLY MODELS.  AGE DOESN'T MATTER.  NO MORE FETISH ONLY PICTURES. We like them professional and in all sizes INCLUDING SUPER SIZED.  There are no limits with us.

 

REAL MEN... REAL WOMEN... REAL BODIES

BE LARGE IN CHARGE... BE OUR COVER MODEL!

 

NOTICE - Follow the Directions carefully, if you have a question you can email me and ask before you send in your entry.  Any Entries that are not sent in properly will be thrown out. Take the time to send in your entry properly.

Raqui does not Guide, Help, Preview, Custom Pick Photos of any model or submission. It is unfair to all applicants. All Males and Females are free to enter and encouraged to submit according to guidelines. - Thank you

Send In the following - You must send at least two of each.

         One or more Head shot Black & White / Color - in your modeling attire

         One or more Full body shot Black & White / Color - in your modeling attire

NOTE: the more pictures you send it the better.

Type of pictures

         Digital or scanned pictures only

         NO WEBCAM PICTURES, FUZZY, DISCOLORED, OLD

         The Picture must represent you in your Current State

         Pictures must be of one person, no group shots.

         Pictures of Big Males and Females only.

         Pictures must be clear with no watermarks. (EXCEPTION: photographers watermark)

         Pictures cannot be smaller than 300 DPI, 800 x 600 pixels

         Pictures must be tasteful and fully clothed - Swimsuit and tasteful lingerie is allowed.

         Nude is not allowed unless it is artistic.  No private areas shown.

         If your pictures are professionally done be sure to have permission from the photographer.

 

PICTURES WE DO NOT ACCEPT:

Cell Phone Camera Images

Pictures with distracting backgrounds  - example: clutter

Webcam pictures

Pictures with Multiple people or with multiple people in the background

Poor lighting or photo shopped edited images

Images that do not meet the size requirement.

 

 ACCEPTABLE:

Pictures are well lit, clear and centered, background is clear and natural, proper size.

You are free to browse our past cover models to get an idea of what we are looking for.

BACK ISSUES HERE

 

Picture Categories - You can send in pictures for any of the below categories

         Professional - done by photographer

         Winter - Winter wear, coats etc. and Seasonal type of clothing, costumes and colors.  Winter backgrounds scenes

         Spring - Spring wear, sweaters etc. bright, airy, wind blown. Spring backgrounds scenes

         Summer - Swimsuits, wraps, summer dresses. Summer background scenes

         Fall - Fall colors and sweaters.  Earthy natural settings. Fall Colors.

         Ethnic - Ethnic prints and colors.  Ethnic combinations of fabric and prints.  Jewelry

         Business - Suite and tie. City backgrounds

         Sporty - Sports clothing of all types. Participating in sports. Jogging, walking, basketball, football, skating. Etc.

         Exercise - In exercise outfits, gym scene etc.

         Gothic - Gothic clothing and costumes etc.

 

YOUR PICTURES MUST BE ATTACHED TO THE EMAIL.

NOT INSERTED IN THE BODY OF THE EMAIL.

 

PLEASE NOTE: Cover Model Applications are only taken during the January to - March Months.  You are free to apply while the search is active.  By visiting the active part of LargeInCharge Magazine during the above months.  You cannot apply through the BACK ISSUES.

 

What will I receive if I am picked to be a 2012 Cover Model

         You will be Showcased for the Month you appear as our Cover Model, appear on the cover and remain in our database.

         You will be entered in our Yearly Cover Model contest to win a Trophy and Prizes at the end of the year. 

         For the Cover Model of the Year - you will be featured as COVER MODEL OF THE YEAR for the New Years February edition. You will be required to update us with pictures and a statement.

 
 
 
 
 

Thank you for Reading The LargeInCharge Feature

 

 

 Brooke Ochoa!

 

 

Cover Model Interview

LargeInCharge.com: What is your name?

 

Brooke Ochoa

 

 

LargeInCharge.com: Where are you from and what is your current Location?

 

I grew up in Louise, Texas and just recently moved back there to my hometown.

 

 

LargeInCharge.com: Can you give us some information about yourself (Age, Height, Size, Nationality, Marital Status, Children, etc.)? 

 

I am a 27 year old half Hispanic, half German.  I am 5í7, and I wear size 18. 

I was married very young and am now divorced.  I feel like I need to be single for about 10 more years, so no kids yet.  But, I would like a family one day.

 

 

LargeInCharge.com: Were you a big child, or did you gain weight later in life?

 

I have always been a big girl.  However; I was, and still am very good at sports and activities so I was never flabby or unhealthy in any way.  I actually have a smaller waist and nice curves now that I never had when I was younger.  I love working out, and being active.  It is just hard to lose a lot of weight because food is a big part of my family life (which I love! J)

  

 

LargeInCharge.com: (If you were a big child) how did you feel growing up as a large child?

 

When I was a kid, I got made fun of so much.  I didnít have very many friends, but because I was good at sports I was never picked last or anything.  It was funny because in elementary I was asked out, and hit on all the time by older boys.  It was because I was taller and looked older since my body filled out so early.  But, since all the boys in my grade made fun of me so bad, I thought the older boys were making fun of me too.  So, I never went on a date till high school.  When I was in the 5th grade I changed my attitude drastically.  I decided to take what other people made fun of and laugh with them.  I used comedy as an escape and in the midst of it; I became very popular in high school. The jokes and hate never stopped but it was easier to deal with because I had people that loved me.

  

 

LargeInCharge.com: What made you decide to enter the LargeInCharge model search? 

 

I am a fan of the site and what it promotes.  It shows being bigger in such a beautiful light; for men and women.  Itís an opportunity to be a part of something that promotes the same thing I carry everyday which is pride, confidence, and support for the larger community.

 

 

LargeInCharge.com: Did you find it a hard journey to be accepted by others at your size?

  

When I was younger, I found it harder because I didnít know what to do with myself.  I didnít know how to do makeup or hair or dress so I just fell into this place that the people who made fun of me already saw.  As I got older, I learned that confidence makes a world of difference.  So, if you look good, you feel good.  I learned how to fix myself up as a beautiful thick woman.  Not only do I see people looking and liking what they see, but they tell me all the time.  I cannot tell you how many times a ďskinnyĒ girl has come up to me and said they wish they had my confidence.  Itís a wonderful feeling to have that respect from men and women.

 

 

LargeInCharge.com: Do you find it a hard to accept yourself as a Plus Sized Person?

 

I used to use so much energy in trying to lose weight, and try to be something I just am not right now.  I love who I am because I accept who I am at this moment.  I work with everything I have and do the best I can with it.  I respect and handle my body very well.  You can be the perfect proportioned woman but if you donít take care of yourself, itís a lost cause.  I take care of myself, and am so proud to be a beautiful plus sized person!

 

 

LargeInCharge.com: Do you find acceptance among your family and friends?

 

My family and friends support me in all my endeavors.  They know I make sure I am healthy and do what is right for me.  I work out and keep active, and since my family and friends are right there with me doing the same things we support and accept each other.  Itís a great feeling knowing I can be myself with no judgment around the people I love.

 

 

LargeInCharge.com: What would you say inspires you most in life?

 

Honestly, I give myself the most inspiration.  I donít want to sound conceited but I have not had the best life handed to me.  I have been through trials and heartaches, abuse, and so many struggles in my life that I look back and think, ďHow could that even have happened to me?Ē I have worked so hard to get through. The most inspiring is the fact that not only did I find out I could make it, I learned I could take it.  I feel like all of those bad things led me to all these great things that are coming into my life now.  I just know that if I got through all the bad stuff there is nothing I canít accomplish with hard work and perseverance.

 

 

LargeInCharge.com: What is your primary occupation?

 

I am a Secondary Math Teacher.

 

LargeInCharge.com: How did you get into this line of work? 

 

I decided to teach after I had a bad experience with an elementary teacher who treated me so badly.  I was a very anxious child.  I was so excited to learn and do works, but she took that joy away from me.  I vowed that if I taught, I could prevent my students from losing that excitement and joy in the classroom.

 

 

LargeInCharge.com: Do you find acceptance in the work force?

 

I have not had any issues with my weight and other teachers.  Once again I carry myself very well, and the confidence I have brings people closer to me rather than them have a hard time accepting me from afar.

 

 

LargeInCharge.com: What changes do you believe should take place for Large People in the work force?

  

I think as humans we should have the ability to adapt to our surroundings.  Having said that, I feel like if a company is going to hire a larger person who needs accommodations; they should be met.  A personís size should not be a ďproblemĒ.  It is part of who we are, but it does not define us.

 

 

LargeInCharge.com: What do you think about the fashion industry for big sized clothing?

 

I think that plus sized fashion has come a long way.  I think it is more opened minded to big being sexy, and revealing, and beautiful at the same time.  I like that you see bigger sizes on the runways and promotions now.  Iím glad fashion is becoming more practical to the average Joe, or should I say Jane :>

 

 

LargeInCharge.com: What do you wish to see change with the fashion industry?

 

Iím going to have to say, just more of advertising to every consumer size. 

If you sell sizes 20 Ė 28, it doesnít help to have someone model the clothes who wear size 14. 

 

 

LargeInCharge.com: What changes do you think will happen if plus sized modeling for men and women were to expand?

 

I think that people will start to see that being plus sized does not mean unhealthy, or overweight.  There are all types of people, and so many are overlooked because of their size.  I think people will start to see a need, acceptance, and empowerment of the plus size person.

 

 

LargeInCharge.com: Tell us some of the places you buy your clothing from.

 

I love to shop at Dots, Melrose, Rainbows, Dress Barn, and my undergarment from Lane Bryant.

 

 

LargeInCharge.com:  Tell us one of your secret beauty tips. 

 

I whiten my teeth at least once a week.  A lot of people compliment my teeth and I donít like to admit it because I shouldnít whiten that much, but teeth are a huge deal to me.  A personís smile can change someoneís entire day, so I like to keep mine as white as possible.

 

LargeInCharge.com:  Give us some tips on how to have a successful Photo shoot.  What should models be prepared for?

  

 I think it is important to know beforehand what the theme of the shoot is going to be. A model should brainstorm and practice her poses because you can come up with something that you may not have thought of right off the bat.  Itís also good to meet or speak with the photographer, because they are all different.  Some are sweet and nice about giving directions, and then there are those who have a stricter tactic to get a great photo.  Its good to know what to expect from the person who will be capturing what you are trying to portray.

 

 

LargeInCharge.com: Look at Size acceptance five years ago... look at size acceptance now.  What changes do you see?

 

I think that society has become more comfortable in being attracted to the plus size person.  Movies, and tv shows are portraying all the other qualities a plus person can have just as well as an average size person.

 It used to be that a plus model would only be casted as the funny big girl/guy but now there are more roles because this world is full of the plus person.  It is now a demand to accept large sizes, which was voided out several years ago.

 

 

LargeInCharge.com: What changes do you think will happen five years from now with size acceptance?

 

I am hoping that there will be no issues with the plus size person just fitting in, and being accepted with the rest of society.  I do also hope that we remember to stay healthy and not just say, ďItís okay to be big.Ē 

 

 

LargeInCharge.com: Do you face discrimination in your daily life as a Plus Sized Person?

 

Every once in a while I will come across some jerk who says something about my size, but they are usually insecure and you can tell they are just talking down to life themselves up.  This is a shame to me, but its reality.  For the most part, I am approached quite often about being sexy, and beautiful.  I donít see it most of the time, but if someone goes out of their way to say it to you, you got to believe itís true.

 

 

LargeInCharge.com: Tell us about your goals as far as modeling and other interests.

 

I am really hoping to continue my appearances, and features.  I would love to be a representative model for clothing lines.  I am hoping to do music videos, concerts, and movies in the future.  I would like to dabble in all things beauty.

 

 

LargeInCharge.com:  What have you accomplished as a Plus Sized Model?

 

I was in the 2011 Miss Texas Plus America. I have worked for Farooq Chi Hair Shows, fashion shows with Plus Size POWER, and Upstage Beauty Events; as well as photo shoots.  I have been in D magazine, Scream Magazine, RedSkye Comics.  I am featured on several modeling websites such as: Model Mayhem, 411 Market Place, and Models.com.

 

 

LargeInCharge.com:  Have you entered or won any Contests, Pageants or Awards?  What was the experience like? 

 

I was in the 2011 Miss Texas Plus America pageant.  It was my first time in a pageant and it was amazing.  I met a bunch of gorgeous, confident women who have done so much for their communities and lives.  It was truly an appreciative experience.  I won the talent portion of the competition, as well as Miss Creativity for are opening T-shirt design walk.  I also was in the 2011 Plus Size Diva Competition.  I did not place but that was a great place to meet awesome people, and it led to further opportunities in the modeling field.  I also won the 2012 online Biker Babe contest for Plus Size POWER DIVA competiton.  My dad likes that one because his motorcycle is in the background lol.

 

 

LargeInCharge.com: Can you tell us about an inspirational moment in your life that made you feel good about your size.

 

I think what changed my attitude and made me really realize that I was a confident woman and proud of myself was when I was 23.  I was at a party with my friend and this gorgeous very thin woman walks up to me, and asks if she could speak with me.  I said that it was okay and to my surprise all she wanted was to know where I got my confidence from?  She told me that her and her friends were talking about how sexy I was and how I was so beautiful, and I must know it because I was glowing.  At first, I thought that she must have had too much to drink, but she didnít drink at all.  I told her that I had been through the worst and just got tired of letting what people who thought bad of me keep me from being happy.  It really made me realize how just keeping your head up can get people to notice you.  Ever since then, I walk into the room like I own it.   I love being real, and knowing that other people know it too.

 

 

LargeInCharge.com: Is there a person in your life that keeps you going?

 

My soul friend Juanita is someone who just accepts everything about me.  She loves me for every choice I make, and supports me 100%.  Whenever times get hard, I know I can turn to her to make me laugh.  I think it is because we been through the same hard times, and sometimes at the same time.  We have a connection that just makes life a little easier because we know we have at least one person who will be there no matter what!

 

 

LargeInCharge.com: What advice would you give to other people of size who want to model?

  

I cannot stress how important it is to stay healthy.  You also have to find a size that you are comfortable with because if you arenít comfortable with yourself, people will see it in pictures, on camera and everywhere you go. 

 

 

LargeInCharge.com: What plus size figure do you most admire?

 

Ashley Graham is an amazing model.  She is so gorgeous.  She walks and talks with so much confidence.  It is mesmerizing.  I am working on the skill to mesmerize people as well as she does.

  

LargeInCharge.com: Describe yourself with one word.

  

Confident

 


 

Thanks for reading about our

Cover Model of the Month

 

 

     Raqui the Owner and Founder of LargeInCharge.com, Raqui's  "Tell it like it is" style of writing has brought thousands to her blogs and millions to LargeInCharge.com.  There is so much behind the woman who has brought this magazine into existence.  Being Internationally known as a wrestler/squasher lead the way to modeling for companies and being featured in magazines and documentaries from all over the world.  She has made a career out of her size and personality. Born, Raised and Residing in the Bronx NYC. This city girl is taking the world by storm.

 

     For the past 6 years Raqui officially moved into Size Acceptance and Empowerment.  With the creation of LargeInCharge she took what she said to individuals to a higher level and made it public to the internet world. She is a woman who doesn't let things get to her.  Knock her down for the moment but she will rise up stronger and better.  Being a speaker on behalf of many subjects and counseling Plus Sized people online her grace and style has made people love her.  Raqui continues to set an example of a powerful woman who will bend the world to fit her, her way.

 

     Raqui's appearances include, Uk Television, German TV, Japan, Europe, Sweden and the Spanish circuit.  Her many magazines appearances have been world wide.  She has hit American Television in 2006 with Good Morning American and since has appeared on The Cristina Show,  The Maury Show and The Tyra Banks Show.

To view her Online portfolio visit www.Raqui.com

Raqui's New Blog titled Raqui-ism "Soulfully Speaking! - http://raqui-ism.blogspot.com/

 Raqui Host's Super Sized Seminar at 15th Annual Vegas Bash 2011

go to www.Raqui.com Portfolio Section

Raqui-ism -  Eight Years going for Nine!

Written By: Raqui

 

Eight Years ago I had an idea.  Give the plus size community a consistent publication that was 100% free and reliable.  LargeInCharge was born by a thought and since then has grown like a dream.  It has not been easy.

 

I've been threaten harassed and stalked.  I have had the most horrible things emailed, messaged and said to me, because I wanted to do something positive for the community.   Because I did something different. Now I sit here preparing the eighth anniversary edition and soon with in a few months we will have our 100 issue of LargeInCharge. 

 

 Where are all those people who made the first few years difficult.  The message boards where I used to advertise and share with people, only to be verbally attacked, are all gone and disbanded.  The same men and women who used to say I had the nerve to do anything other than squashing have all disappeared.  The ones who called me a poor excuse for a porn star (because the material on my paysite QueenRaqui.com was not nude) have disappeared from existence.   Those who have met me on the road but who turned there nose up at me or tried to talk badly want to claim friendship now.  Most important is that I made it through the bashing to feel pride!

 

I wasn't going to let anyone stop me from what I believe in.  I am not going to stop now.  I am going to try harder and advance even more.  I will keep expanding and now that I am starting year nine I think... WOW soon it will be ten years.  How do I feel about that?  It is a mix a mix of lots of emotions.  My life is so different now and I am happy to say that I have peace.

 

LargeInCharge helped me,  I have spent years trying to let others know to never stop living that weight is not an excuse not to live and be happy.  Now I can say... damn it my life is more than trying to be happy.  I AM HAPPY FINALLY after 37 years on this earth I am happy.  I don't frown anymore,  I am not stressed anymore and I my heart is not heavy anymore. 

 

LargeInCharge has changed the lives of so many and I am very proud of that.  But knowing it changed me is a reward that can only be felt when I close my eyes and breath a breath of ease.

Raqui

 


    

 


LargeInCharge Radio - Weekly Radio show discussing Plus Sized Issues.  Friday's 7-9 pm EST - Call in & Chat in our Chat Room.

 

Thank you for Reading Raqui-ism

Please send thoughts and comments to

articles@largeincharge.com

 
 

 

     Xander brings blend of life experience and culinary twist to his writing. From cooking on television and live demonstrations, to writing Xander cookís like he feels. A former Chicago native transplanted to Tennessee, His goal has been to experience the fullness of food heritage. He believes that as a people and society, can learn a lot from what we eat. Combining a great life lesson and a easy recipe.  They go hand-in-hand to provide a tasty addition to your day. Xander has to confess that ingredients in a great meal are like the ingredients in a great life are never far apart.

 

   

Battles We Must Fight

by Xander The Food Dude

 

In mid-December my mother had one of two massive strokes.  These occurred about a week apart from each other.  They robbed her of her ability to use the right side of her body and she cannot speak.  In the seven weeks since the start of this journey I have often cursed the fates, tried to blame someone for what had happened, and given into the feeling of hopelessness and despair.  I have walked on the edge of giving up before this journey has even begun.  Even now after weeks of sleeping mere feet from my mother in the many hospital rooms, I worry if this is the night that I lose my mother. 

 

The night is the worst time, when very little distracts your focus from her breathing and how shallow it can become.  You watch and wait as each little part of you wonders ďdonít let that be the last breath, please God !!, help her.  You spend your time in prayer that God should take my life before my motherís.  You make every deal you can in your mind with whatever cosmic force will potentially listen to you in an effort to keep her alive a little longer.  Finally, resignation comes in the form of asking that she should not be in pain, you would do anything to at least stop her pain.  If she has to die at least donít let her be in pain.

 

This would give you a good representation of what my last seven weeks have been like in the late evening and early morning.  My friends have done their best to reach out to me, but I can only isolate myself even more.  There are only two things in my universe right now, my mother and what I have to do to help her.  The exhaustion falls into place and in those times I finally find a few moments of rest.  I have given up the fight.  I have nothing left to do battle.  Through this all I have tried to be conscience about a ďlessonĒ, any lesson I should be learning, but up until now it has escaped me.  I finally got it yesterday.

 

After  many days of illness and sickness, my mother is finally well enough to be involved with her physical therapy and speech therapy.  While progress has been very small, they can see some level of progress.  Over the last three weeks all the nurses and therapist constantly tell me what a sweet mother I have.  I see the way that she interacts with them, the waves and excitement on her face when she sees them in the morning and how they look at her when they get her into bed after therapy or other treatment.  These folks have taken care of and even fought for the care of my mother.  In a word, that have loved her like she was family.

 

For the most part my mother is a very sweet lady, good disposition, but the folks that work with her often say she will touch their hand, arm or shoulder in reassurance to them and simply say the one word she can say ďGoodĒ.  One night I heard a nurse tell my mother that she (my mother) made her job a joy.  The message finally hit me.

 

Despite the lack of words or ability to do many things that she once could, she still has the ability to reach out and touch people, not just physically but on a spiritual level as well.  I was reminded once a again that we are all more than the sum of our parts, that we too have the full ability to ďtouchĒ others in a positive way if we just use what God has given us to do just that.  I can tell you that in that particular moment I was washed in a sense of awe and shame.  The awe can from what I had forgotten about our mission in this lifeÖto help others.  The shame was from coming close to giving up on one person I should never give up on.. my mother.

 

We al have our own battles.  Sometimes we admit defeat before we even start.  But we must continue to fight the necessary battle everyday, if not for ourselves then for someone else.  When we get week we need to seek the guidance and counsel of those we trust the most.  In that way, no matter the outcome, we can at least always fight the battles that need to be fought.  My mother and I have only begun the journey of her recovery.  Together we stand resolute in the eventual winning of the day.  To this end I pledge myself, because I owe nothing less than everything I am to my mother.

 

From this day forth, pledge yourself to fighting those battles that need to be fought.

 

God bless each of you until next time.

Xander

 

Xander's Recipe of the Month

   
Tailgate Superbowl of Chili

Ingredients

  • 2 pounds ground beef chuck
  • 1 pound bulk Italian sausage
  • 3 (15 ounce) cans chili beans, drained
  • 1 (15 ounce) can chili beans in spicy sauce
  • 2 (28 ounce) cans diced tomatoes with juice
  • 1 (6 ounce) can tomato paste
  • 1 large yellow onion, chopped
  • 3 stalks celery, chopped
  • 1 green bell pepper, seeded and chopped
  • 1 red bell pepper, seeded and chopped
  • 2 green chile peppers, seeded and chopped
  • 1 tablespoon bacon bits
  • 4 cubes beef bouillon
  • 1/2 cup beer
  • 1/4 cup chili powder
  • 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
  • 1 tablespoon minced garlic
  • 1 tablespoon dried oregano
  • 2 teaspoons ground cumin
  • 2 teaspoons hot pepper sauce (e.g. Tabascoô)
  • 1 teaspoon dried basil
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon ground black pepper
  • 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
  • 1 teaspoon paprika
  • 1 teaspoon white sugar
  • 1 (10.5 ounce) bag corn chips such as Fritosģ
  • 1 (8 ounce) package shredded Cheddar cheese

 

Directions

 

  1. Heat a large stock pot over medium-high heat. Crumble the ground chuck and sausage into the hot pan, and cook until evenly browned. Drain off excess grease.
  2. Pour in the chili beans, spicy chili beans, diced tomatoes and tomato paste. Add the onion, celery, green and red bell peppers, chile peppers, bacon bits, bouillon, and beer. Season with chili powder, Worcestershire sauce, garlic, oregano, cumin, hot pepper sauce, basil, salt, pepper, cayenne, paprika, and sugar. Stir to blend, then cover and simmer over low heat for at least 2 hours, stirring occasionally.
  3. After 2 hours, taste, and adjust salt, pepper, and chili powder if necessary. The longer the chili simmers, the better it will taste. Remove from heat and serve, or refrigerate, and serve the next day.
  4. To serve, ladle into bowls, and top with corn chips and shredded Cheddar cheese

 

 
   
 
   
   
   
 

Thank you for Reading Good Food 4U

By Xander the Food Dude

Please send thoughts and comments to

articles@largeincharge.com

   

Angie BEE grew-up a standard-sized young woman, educated in communications, promotions and planning.  She became a wife, mother and ministry support member while building businesses and her faith.

Through stress, age and a poor diet and while suffering from major depression and attempted suicide, Angie BEE's weight climbed from 180 pounds to 360 pounds.  She was diagnosed with high blood pressure, diabetes, obstructive sleep apnea, an overactive bladder and poor leg circulation.  At the age of 40 an anxiety attack and the decline in her mental health forced her to stop work and look at improving her declining health.  It was during this time that Angie BEE became inspired by her younger sister Sonya Bennett during her process towards Gastric Bypass Surgery.  Sonya launched this column and will return occasionally to contribute to it, but now that she is three years-post surgery... her life is focused on something new!

Now, celebrating her first year of a new life since having the procedure herself, Angie BEE is healthier than she has been in over a decade.  Losing the first 100 pounds was just the bonus!  She is now diabetes-free.  She has normal blood pressure.  The circulation in her legs is normal.  She sleeps without a c-pap machine and more!  The joy that she feels is documented each day in her syndicated radio show, a brand new weekly  TV show documentary and each month in this article.  The Big GB stands for The BIG Gastric Bypass and it also stands for "Getting (my life) Back".  This article reflects how Angie BEE's life has improved... by the grace of God and as the result of having Gastric Bypass surgery on Feb 28, 2011.  This is now her life!

 
One Year Later
with Angie Bee

 

I had gastric bypass surgery on February 28, 2011.  One year later, I'm still excited about that day.  I remember others that refer to their surgery date as their "new birthday", but for me it feels like February 28th is the date that I fell in love with me.

 

Sometimes when you are overweight and miserable with health issues, you find it hard to love yourself.  Measuring out insulin in syringes and taking high blood pressure medication can make you hate the process of caring for yourself.  I began to despise what was happening with my body.  I fell out of love with me.  I can't relate to being overweight and being healthy.  I admire large women that can wear stilettos and I rejoice when I meet large people with normal blood pressure and no health challenges.  With my increased weight came a decline in my health and the deterioration in the love that I had for myself.

 

There is something special about falling in love... especially when you fall in love with yourself.  One year later, I am SO in love with me!  I don't want to come across as conceited or arrogant... but I didn't like the woman that I was before,  so I wasn't taking care of her.  Through the process of preparing for gastric bypass and changing your lifestyle after the surgery, you are forced to take care of yourself.  This was a new relationship for me and I am giddy over it!  Falling in love with ME means that I have enjoyed consuming liquids because they are good for me.... even drinking water with Benefiber in it.  (Man, I LOVE that orange flavored powder now).  There was a time when I would not eat because I didn't feel like eating.  Then, I would overeat when the blood sugar dropped and the headaches came.  Now, because I am in love with me I eat and I have joy in taking care of me.  Just like the joy I have in cooking for a loved one and preparing a plate for them... I love me... so I take care of me.

 

Years ago I stopped shopping for new clothes because they were so expensive and I didn't want to spend money on myself with my children needed things.  Now, I don't mind shopping.  I had to realize that wearing ill-fitting clothes only contributed to my misery... so I am proud of the outfits that I wear.  Even the cute little red dress that I wore on Valentine's Day was more for me than anyone else :)  - I love me and I am loving my relationships now.  One year later, I've hand-selected people that are in my life and I enjoy them.  I really do!

 

Let me tell you about someone that has come back into my life during this past year.  We grew up together as our mothers were dear friends.  We were the first-borns in our families and would share stories and theories about school and friends and such.  He was the only boy that could come into my home to visit without my dad freaking out.  His uncle was my first Pastor and he loved me as only a 12-year old boy could... he would spend time talking with me.  Billy was the smartest friend that I had as a child and during this past year, we found each other again via Facebook!  Now, Billy had a bout with obesity at one point in his adult life after leaving the military.  One day he got on the scale and realized that he weighed over 300 pounds.  He made the decision to kick fast foods and processed foods and to increase his water intake.  Because he took charge of his life, he lost over 100 pounds and now even has his type-2 diabetes under control!   He relates to me in my life of weight loss and control and his friendship is very supportive too!

 

During one of our daily phone conversations, he told me to do something.  It was a simple request, but it has made such a difference in my life and it brings me a little joy each morning when I awake.

 

"Angie, what do you do for yourself every day?" Billy asked me one day. 

"What do you mean?  I get up, I pray, I work.  What do you mean?" was my response. 

"No!  None of that stuff.  You need to spend 1 hour a day just doing what you WANT to do... not what you HAVE to do", he tells me.  "I want you to promise me that you will start loving yourself by spending time doing this.  Go to the beach.  Read a book.  Do something just for you!".  Billy is STILL the smartest friend that I have!  I agreed to it, and I am so grateful that I did!  I joined water aerobics at the YMCA and I attend three days a week.  I have fallen in love with ME-TV and I spend an hour watching original episodes of Star Trek (Kirk and Spock remind me to drink my Orange Benefiber in water - lol) and I don't feel guilty about watching TV!  I ordered new sneakers and now I walk around the neighborhood because I want to see the kids come home from school and sometimes... when I am just spending time with me... I don't even answer my phone if I don't want to! (shock and awe!).  I do what I want to do for 1 hour each day and I don't regret it.

 

I love me now.  This year since having gastric bypass surgery I love the foods that I eat, I love the way my skin glows.  I love my energy level and I am amazed by the improvement in my health!  I love that my appetite for fun has increased and I even love saying 'NO" when I don't want to do something!   I love me and I love taking care of me!  I want you to be in love with you, too!  One year after having weight loss surgery I have lost almost 150 pounds and several dress sizes (the dress I bought last month is already kinda loose on me).  My children are grown and I'm a single woman and I LOVE ME!

I'm looking forward to next month and I'm looking forward to my next year... sharing my life and my weight loss with each of you!

Talk to you next month!

 

BEE Blessed

 

 

Angie BEE

Author, Magazine Publisher, Producer, Promoter &

The Host of The Hottest Home Hotspot WORLDWIDE

Syndicated Holy Hip Hop Radio Show

www.AngieBEE.com

Last Week I wanted to Die!

NOW AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE!

http://www.amazon.com/Last-Week-Wanted-Die-ebook/dp/B004ZLTM5O/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1324757865&sr=8-1


 

   
 

Thanks for reading

The Big GB - My Gastric Bypass Memoirs

Sonya's Links:

www.SonyaBennett.com

Sonya Bennett on Facebook


     Founded in 1969, NAAFA is a non-profit civil rights organization dedicated to improving the quality of life for fat people. NAAFA works to eliminate discrimination based on body size and provide fat people with the tools for self-empowerment through public education, advocacy, and member support.

 

     This Column is dedicated to the tremendous work NAAFA has been doing for over four decades.  LargeInCharge wishes to support NAAFA in spreading the word of its work, and give the public more information into issues we as plus sized people should be aware of.  The fight for equality for people of all sizes is one we support.

    

     This Column will include News Releases and Calls to Action from NAAFA Directors.

 

This Column has been Approved by NAAFA.org

 

Set a "STANDard"!

from: NAAFA.org

 

 

Set a ďSTANDardĒ!

NAAFA encourages you to stand in support of the efforts of the grassroots campaign which has been organized in response to the hateful ads and billboards launched in Georgia in early 2011.  You may recall that NAAFA called for the removal of these damaging billboards in March, 2011.  Since that time we have learned that Georgia Childrenís Health Alliance has committed to spending $5 million over the next five years on this negative Strong4Life campaign.

There are three aspects to this exciting Stand4Every Body campaign:

Fat activist Marilyn Wannís graphic response to the fat hating ads is the ďI STANDĒ ad campaign.  Marilyn would love for supporters of all sizes to send her a photograph and she will help you become a ďSTANDardĒ.  Hereís what she suggests:  send a photo, looking straight at the camera, along with what you stand for to:  marilyn@fatso.com  Your finished ad can either include your name or not, but either way, the white line of text in the bottom left corner can read something like: PEGGY HOWELL, NAAFA MEMBER or NAAFA  MEMBER.  Take a look at some of the more than 300 fabulous ads created thus far:  http://istandagainstweightbullying.tumblr.com/

Blogger and fat activist Atchka Fatty calls you to action by providing contact information for the people to whom you should write regarding the Strong4Life campaign and sample letters for those who prefer help with writing a letter of protest.  He has also organized a video project for those who enjoy expressing themselves via video.  Read all about how you can get involved at:  http://fatkidsunited.wordpress.com/

Dancer, performer and fat activist Ragen Chastain is coordinating fund raising efforts to lease and post billboards with positive messages and other materials to combat the Strong4Life campaign.  Read all about the Support All Kids Billboard Project at:  http://danceswithfat.wordpress.com/the-billboard-project/ 

We encourage everyone to get involved, become a ďSTANDardĒ, write a letter, forward campaign details to others, and contribute your ideas and talents.  Letís combine all our efforts to put an end to Georgiaís Strong4Life campaign.

                                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

NAAFA Convention EARLYBIRD SPECIAL!

NAAFA is pleased to announce that we will return to the San Francisco Bay Area for our 2012 fund-raising convention.  We have worked hard to keep the cost of this convention down and to move quickly in making our convention package available in time for you to give or receive a convention package for the holidays!  

NAAFA is once again offering a Early Bird Special price is $199.00 from January 1 through May 31, 2012.   Beginning June 1, 2012, full convention price will be $265.00. 

The 2012 NAAFA Convention Package would make a great holiday gift for you, your family and all your friends!  Canít afford a convention package?  Why not give a one year contributing NAAFA membership for only $15.00? 

Make your reservations at the Westin San Francisco Airport Hotel. Room rates are $89 per night!   This group rate will be available until July 10, 2012.  Westin is prepared to receive your NAAFA convention reservations today at:  https://www.starwoodmeeting.com/StarGroupsWeb/booking/reservation?id=1112156171&key=A819C

We encourage you to register for the NAAFA convention package today and to fully participate in this life-changing event.  We made it easy for you to register for the convention as well as the hotel through our website at www.naafa.org.  Watch our website for more exciting details as they become available.

Founded in 1969, NAAFA is a non-profit human rights organization dedicated to improving the quality of life for fat people.  NAAFA works to eliminate discrimination based on body size and provide fat people with the tools for self-empowerment through public education, advocacy, and member support.

On the web:  http://www.naafa.org

 

 

Thanks for reading

From the Desk of NAAFA

Link

www.NAAFA.org

    

Our WebGirl Lucia Roth, was born in New Orleans, Louisiana. Graduated with a B. A. degree in Communication from Southeastern Louisiana University and is considering going back for her Masters degree. Lucia a people person and is always willing to help out a friend in need. She enjoys music, movies, poetry, and good book on a rainy day. Lucia has several mottos about life.


This is one: Knowledge talks, wisdom listens.

 

I just wanted to re- introduce myself, since I just joined Large In Charge magazine last year. My name is Lulu, and I am a fashion writer for largeincharge.com I am a fashion junkie:) I look forward to finding wonderful fashion find and product of the month for you. I also look forward to chatting with you all an reading some good fashion comments! Please let me know if you have a favorite. Web_girl1999@yahoo.com

 

 

The WebGirl Picks of the Month

Fashion Find Product of the Month

Fashion Find

eloquii.com

Fashion Find Type: Sale

Sale Price:  $ 10. 00 Ė 60.00

Link: http://www.eloquii.com/

 

Vamp up your sophisticated style and, check out eloquii (el-o-qu- ii). Reasonable price for your budget and guess what? You donít have to spend a million dollars to look and feel good. So, ladies get your sexy on and check out eloquii.  

 

 

Product of the Month

Recommended by: Lucia

Name of Product:  Limoges

Type of Product: Jewelry

Link: http://www.limogesjewelry.com/

 

Description:  Official Site: Save Up to 50% Off All Quality, Personalized Jewelry. The best place to find everything you want at a value.

 
 

Pat is a forty something woman living in Southern Ontario, Canada. She has a varied past and has worked teaching literacy and English as a second language to adults, as an environmental science technician and in the health and safety field. Currently she works in marketing.

Pat fiercely believes in human rights for all and has volunteered for organizations that raise funds and develop and implement programs to help impoverished people and educate women in third world countries. Although relatively new to the size acceptance movement, Pat believes with all her heart that people of size deserve equal treatment and respect.
In her spare time she likes to read fiction, go to bashes and spend time with friends.

Uppity Fatty

with Pat Llewellyn

 

 

I recently received two messages from an individual on a dating website outraged that I had standards that needed to be met before I would respond to a guy.

He wrote ďWho do u think u r demanding all these things from men when ur like 500lbs!!!Ē

He also wrote other vitriol meant to denigrate me because I am fat. In general I donít let these messages get under my skin, but this guy made me furious.

How dare he tell me that I do not deserve to set standards for the men I want to date and marginalize me because I am fat? How dare he initiate contact with me just to belittle and try to make me feel like I deserve less because my body does not conform to societal norms?

This uppity fatty isnít going to take any sh*t.

Iím fat, beautiful, and confident so screw you if you donít like it. No really, I mean it. Screw the fat hating, negative people who want to try and bring me down. I not only have standards, but if you donít meet them, Iím going to kick you to the curb. Iím not going to put up with bad behavior and Iím not going to let some random guy get away with sending me hate filled messages. 

I will fight back and I wonít pull any punches.

Iím an uppity fatty and I like itÖ

 

Lots of love

xoxo

Lulu


 

     Ms Suga is a plus size woman hailing from Sunny South Florida. She is a 24 year old recent recipient of a Bachelor in Arts degree in Communication Studies. Being plus size for the majority of her life she has overcome many obstacles to finally come to the point where she is fully content with herself and her life. This self love has also allowed Ms Suga the privilege of sharing her love with those around her. She is very passionate about life and loves to help others.

     Ms Suga likes to see herself as the one everyone can go to for positive, inspirational and truthful words of advice and/or support. She is the Beautiful Inspirational Girl that is blessed, intellectual, trustworthy, caring and hardworking.

     Ms Suga has had a passion for writing since she was a little girl when she used to think of short stories about what her life would be like as she got older. This is Ms Sugaís first opportunity for her thoughts to be public for the world to see. Excited about this column Ms Suga is also very optimistic of her future in writing and promoting self love and acceptance in the plus size community.

 

Progress for the New Year

with Ms Suga

 

 

Ok so we're three months into the new year...how are your resolutions working out for you? I know, I know we talked about making life changes but I am still curious as to your progress.

And if you haven't been making progress this is your official quarterly reminder to get your ass up and get to work!! No one can help you if you don't help yourself first!!

 As I told you all before my life changes started shortly after my birthday and I am proud to say that I am STILL a work in progress. LoL I made my choice to take a chance and make a change but damnit change doesn't come over night. No matter how much we wish it did this shit is still hard work.

Anyhow for the moment let's steer away from the outcome and let's consider the mistakes we make/ have made along the way. A friend of mine once said that life is just a long trip to different places and realizations but the fun part is the different roads we take to get there. Think of all the major screw ups in your life, now think about all the fun you had right before the shit hit the fan.

In hindsight you saw the signs (Lord knows I saw them plenty of times) but you kept going. And sometimes you had the most fun with those mistakes up until you wound up in trouble with the "shit...shit...SHIT" look on your face. (LoL you know that :-0 face)

I once read a quote on the Facebook "I am the author of my life, but unfortunately, I write with a pen, so I can't erase my mistakes." This really made me think about my vision of my own life. I'm gonna share my life philosophy with you and I encourage you to steal it but ONLY if you apply it to your mindset. Don't just go stealing my ideas and not using them...thatís so not it (as my goddaughters say).

So I always thought I don't regret anything I've ever done in life. That's right NOT ONE REGRET!! I don't regret dating that dumb ass guy just because he was cute and completely ignoring how much of an asshole he was. Nor do I regret allllllll the shopping I do (yeah so NOT giving up on that! Just gotta shop in moderation) spending all that money on shoes, make up and allllllll that damn lip gloss!!  (I really am addicted to lip gloss/lip sticks) Those stupid decisions, and others we wonít discuss, no matter how off the charts you think they are have taught me valuable lessons that I probably wouldn't have gotten any other way.

Now trust me...Ms. Suga has done her fair of dumb shit as I'm sure you have too. But think about it like this... don't fear making a mistake because that mistake could lead to some great discoveries. For example dating dumb ass (and all the dumb asses that followed) helped me learn what I want out of life and showed me how to love myself. All the shoes and lip gloss has helped me perfect the idea of always looking my best (yep that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it).

I encourage you to never be afraid to try something new. Have you ever heard the saying "amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic." The way I see it there are only two mistakes a person can make along the path to success: not going all the way, and not starting at all.

So face your fears head on, embrace your mistakes, and follow your dreams. We all will reach success at different times in our lives but sometimes we reach success and never realize it until itís over.

 

Until next time...inspire someone and inspire yourself! Be blessed Sweetie Pies!

 

Ms Suga

 

 


 

Gabriela Falarz lives in Toronto, Canada. She has been up and down the scale for most of her life (mostly up), and is proud to say that she loves herself no matter what her size, although it has definitely been an evolution.

 

She blogs about size acceptance in her blog, Celebreight Yourself (www.celebreightyourself.blogspot.com).  Gabriela discovered Large in Charge Radio about a year ago and has been hooked ever since. She is thrilled to be writing for Large in Charge and to be part of an organization that helps all large people realize how beautiful, special, and amazing they are.

 

Verbal Abusers: What Makes Them Tick?

with Gabriela Falarz

 

Verbal abuse is something all large people have experienced. Whether you were bullied in school, harassed in public by pack of bored teenagers, or any variation thereof, we all know what itís like to be singled out simply because of our weight.

 

Oddly enough, I hadnít experienced verbal abuse for many years -- until the other night. I donít know whether itís because I carry myself in a certain way now (with more self-respect and confidence) or whether Iíve just become very good at filtering out any negativity around me. This recent experience, however, briefly reminded me of the taunting I was subjected to in the past.

 

My husband and I had gone to see a movie, and weíd parked our car a few blocks away from the theater. It was a beautiful night, and we were strolling back to the car, in a very upscale neighborhood. Suddenly, this car comes driving up beside us. I caught a glimpse of an open driverís side window, and then some asshole yelled at me, ďTHAT IS ONE BIG, FAT ASS!!!Ē This is while my husband is walking beside me.

 

The car continued driving on, of course. The little bitch was too cowardly to stick around for my response. But instinctively, this feeling of rage just spewed out of me, and I yelled back -- extremely loudly -- ďFUCK YOU!!!!Ē He started to yell something back at me, to try and re-assert his dominance over me, but I drowned him out by yelling another long, prolonged ďFUCK OFF!!!!!!Ē Then the little bitch sped away for good.

 

The whole time, I was thinking to myself: ďCome back and say that to my face, asshole!Ē I wished I had yelled that instead and had the chance to look in his eyes and tell him what a piece of shit I thought he was. My husband just muttered something about the guy being an asshole, and we continued to the car. But the whole night had been ruined by that microscopic interaction, and it made me furious.

 

Itís not that I gave a shit what he thought about me. I could care less what any fat-hating idiot has to say about me. What bothered me was the fact that this TOTAL STRANGER imposed himself on my space -- intruded into my life -- even for that very short space of time.

 

Here I was Ö minding my own business, walking with my husband, bothering no-one. Both of us were discussing the movie weíd just seen (which was great, by the way) Ö and then this poisonous person comes along and insinuates himself into my life, however briefly. What right did he have to do that?

 

It also struck me that it didnít matter to him that my husband was right there. Maybe he didnít see him? Maybe he didnít think it was possible that the man with me could be my boyfriend or husband, because Iím a fat woman? Maybe he felt safe because he was in his car, and if the guy with me got upset and went after him, he could just take off? Maybe heís just a sociopath who enjoys spending his free time yelling insults out his car window at random people he considers targets. Thatís my guess.

 

In any case, my husband isnít the confrontational type. Heís been with me when many verbal assaults have taken place, and heís never said anything. It used to be a bone of contention between us, but I finally realized thatís just how he is. He hates confrontation. Me, on the other hand -- if you mess with me, youíd better be prepared to deal with me. I fight my own battles, and I donít back down.  

 

I kept wondering what gave this guy the right to feel he could inflict his opinion upon me. He saw me from a distance, saw my fat ass, and the whole time he was approaching me, he was planning what he was going to say. Then, he timed it perfectly -- slowed down, yelled his insult, and sped away. And why did he speed away? If he was so proud of his opinion, and determined to let me know it, why didnít he just get out of his car, come up to me, and tell me I had a fat ass? Itís one thing to have an opinion, and just think it to yourself,  but no Ö he had to YELL his opinion at me, from the safety of his car. Demean fat girl: mission accomplished. Then run away like a scared little bitch.

 

Thatís when I realized something I didnít have the maturity or life experience to realize in school, when I was being bullied. It wasnít ME this guy was demeaning. It was HIMSELF. A personís actions reveal their character better than any words. What kind of person yells an insult at someone and then runs away? A coward, A child, A pathetic loser.

 

All verbal abusers demean themselves with their behavior, and theyíre too stupid to realize it. They are cowards. They are psychic leeches. They get their strength from feeding off weakness. But if youíre NOT weak Ė if youíre strong and confident Ė they have nothing to feed off. They run away frustrated and confused, because they didnít get their fix. They werenít able to steal your soul, not even a tiny little piece of it. As my daughter would say Ö they are an epic fail.

 

Verbal abusers are attention whores. They use words to force you to notice them. They are people who feel invisible in some crucial part of their lives, and they canít stand that feeling. What theyíre really saying, underneath all the hostility, is: SEE ME. ACKNOWLEDGE ME. I AM HERE. I EXIST. Well, the sight of them disgusts me, just as the sight of my fat ass supposedly disgusts them.  

The incident angered me for a few hours, and even carried a little into the next day. But then I realized how victorious Iíd actually been in that situation, watching that pathetic little bitch run away in his car, realizing heíd messed with the wrong fat chick.



 

Kathy is originally from a small town in Michigan but has lived in San Diego County since she's been 18 years old.  Kathy graduated from San Diego State University with a Bachelors in Finance in 1999.   She has a real estate brokerís license and works as a mortgage banker.  

 

Kathy also owns BBW Club Catalina in San Diego which has monthly night club parties and other fun events on a frequent basis.  Kathy has been an avid supporter of NAAFA, Vegas BBW Bash and San Diego BBW Bash and believes in size acceptance and health at every size.  

 

Kathy is a firm believer that people need to have a full life by going to the movies, dinner, bowling, dancing and anything that will make them a happier person and not wait til they are at the perfect size to start living their life to the fullest. 

 

Kathy is in her mid-40's and her children are grown and living productively on their own.   In her spare time she likes trying new restaurants, dancing, modeling, bowling and spending time with family and friends.

 

 

The Failure to Launch Man and Why he isn't the man for you

with Kathy Hernandez

 

 

Some of you are asking yourselves, what is the Failure to Launch Man?  This is the man who thinks he was Peter Pan in a past lifetime and who just can't take that big step to be on his own.   

 

Birds know how to get their chicks out of the nest by nudging them out of the nest and the baby bird learns how to fly out of necessity because if they don't than they plummet to the ground.    Parents who make it too easy to continue to live at home and make their children dependent on them financially and emotionally can be the root cause of this.  For example, if you were a 20 or 30 something male and you could live in a 4 Bedroom, 3 Bathroom house in a great neighborhood without paying rent, wouldn't you consider it?   Also this house has a pool and Jacuzzi in the back yard and a big screen tv in the family room.    Hmm makes you think would I actually move out if I had this cushy deal and pay rent in some studio without all these amenities?  

 

The real question now that you have figured out that you are interested in and possibly dating Mr. Failure to Launch Man is will he ever move out of his parentsí home and become an independent man totally taking care of himself even if it is in a tiny studio apartment to start out with?   There's one thing you do NOT want to do and is have this man move in with you without living by himself and knowing what real life is really all about.  Unless, you want to be his mother figure which I wouldn't recommend to anyone because let's face it, there's nothing romantic and endearing about taking care of a grown man like he is your child.   

 

There are factors in today's economy that makes it necessary for a man to live with his family but that should be for a short period of time for him to get back on his feet.  

 

What are the different types of the Failure to Launch Man? 

 

The man who is afraid of commitment and if they live at home than they don't have to commit to a real relationship because how many parents are going to be ok with having the girl friend live there too? 

 

We have the man who is a considered a geek or a nerd because he isn't socially equipped yet to establish a romantic relationship with a woman because of shyness, low self-esteem or he's been hurt in the past.  

 

The mama's boy is my personal favorite because his mommy still does his laundry, makes his lunch, cooks, bakes and does his errands for him.  She's basically his wife without the sex and he's getting that from whomever he dates so again what is the incentive for him to move out and get his own place and take care of himself?  

 

What makes a man grow up and want to take care of himself?   Parents need to learn to be like the parent birds and nudge them out out of the house by letting them know their time is up and they have done their jobs as parents so now it's their turn to go out into the world on their own.  

 

There needs to be benefits to being on your own such as having a girlfriend, more privacy, the feeling of being an accomplished adult to motivate these men to get back on track.  The girl friend also needs to let him know that she wants someone to take care of her as much as she is taking care of him and if he can't do that than she will need to find someone who can fulfill her needs.  

 

Is there hope for the Failure to Launch man?  Yep of course there is but you have to find out what motivates your Failure to Launch Man and set a deadline for him to learn to fly.

 

 

Celebrating almost 2 decades as a Graphic Designer/Published Illustrator, Jean Nerestant Jr (Jness) got his start as a graphic artist in 1994, Still working as a graphic designer by day/ Jness devotes time to his hip hop Culture, comic book art and Plus size/BBW Art.

 

 

Rain

with Jness

 

As a young man dating I always enjoyed walks in the rain. It takes a special girl to entertain such a passion. Rain reveals so many visual truths and secrets. Ten minutes of rain easily erases 2 hours of the most skilled hairdresserís work. Make up washes away uncovering the natural original design. Donít get me wrong; I donít have objections to a well-styled and transformed face. I just know that true romance is loving the face with or without the powdered brush strokes. A walk in the rain with the right person brings closeness. Recognizing the right moment after she feels a chill, drawing her near for warmth, rain creates opportunities.

 

A building called the Watch Case overlooking the River Line passenger train inspired this artwork. Built in the 1850ís it was originally known as the Pavilion Hotel, according to the Riverside Historical Society [http://riversidenjhistory.org] the building was purchased by the Keystone Watchcase Company in 1892. It is a beautiful piece of architecture, stuck in time marked by the dťcor of the day it was finalized. As the songwriter said, ďStyle is timeless and fashionís only nowĒ. It is aging gracefully; years of rain have purified the brick and mortar, nothing to hide only the truth of this structure remains, structural truth. Its stately posture is romantic. I could think of no better backdrop for the gentleman and the object of his affection on their way to a wonderful evening. The evening will be perfect, the best light show and sound clap the sky has to offer cannot spoil the kind of time that can only be had by those who stand vigil at the gate eager to fall in love.

 

In this illustration, the man is protecting the woman, and looking where she steps before she steps. Not in an overprotective way, itís more like the silent conversation that takes place during a dance. His hand is ready to guide her. The touch of her hand lets him know how much assistance she needs. Romance is an orchestrated interaction, that should be practiced everyday. The graffiti on the wall is there by creative license; it doesnít exist on the actual building. It simply says the words ďOld SchoolĒ to reiterate the classic theme, of chivalry.

 

The world is full of shattered hopes, broken wings, and ultimately jaded people. This artwork attempts to restore the viewersí views ushering a simple request. Dare yourself or better yet allow yourself to feel the way you did about romance before you were hurt. Before your brick and mortar walls went up to protect you against the hurt and pain. Itís not easy to maintain filters yet allow some good things to pass through. Custodial care of the heart must be applied as needed; it should not be left in the on position all the time. Just like the umbrella is put away when the rain subsides, so should your guard be. Take the risk and go for a walk in the rain, you never know what you might find.

 

      Return to Back Issues of LargeInCharge Magazine    Return to the Front