LargeInCharge.com: What is your name?
LargeInCharge.com: Where are you from and what is your current Location?
I was raised in Long Beach, CA. Currently live in Norwalk, CA
LargeInCharge.com: Can you give us some information about yourself (Age,
Height, Size, Nationality, Marital Status, Children, etc.)?
I'm 24, married, I have two beautiful boys. I currently work for the
Bellflower Unified School district and starting out my career as a plus
size model. I love to meet people, learn about cultures and traditions,
and love to be involved in anything that has to do with acceptance and
LargeInCharge.com: Were you a big child, or did you gain weight later in
I was always big throughout my school years. Then my junior year in high
school I lost a lot of weight, and gained it back after my first son.
LargeInCharge.com: (If you were a big child) how did you feel growing up
as a large child?
Growing up as a big child was hard at times. Thankfully I always had a
lot of friends, but still got teased by people who didn't know me. Or
even by family and friends who just "joked" around.
LargeInCharge.com: What made you decide to enter the LargeInCharge model
I believe to be a model you don't need to be the prettiest face or the
nicest body, it should be about what you stand for and what you believe
in. And I could definitely say I could be Large AND In Charge ;)
LargeInCharge.com: Did you find it a hard journey to be accepted by
others at your size?
You know, it was always important for me to be liked by others, but
growing up I realized that the people that matter most to me and
actually had an impact in my life already loved me for who I am. So that
has always helped me when I hear the negative comments.
LargeInCharge.com: Do you find it a hard to accept yourself as a Plus
No. I love my body. I love who I am. I have tried to lose weight only to
be healthy and live a healthy lifestyle, but in the end this is me. Big
or small I will love myself.
LargeInCharge.com: Do you find acceptance among your family and friends?
My family and friends do accept me. They support my career as a plus
size model. But it does get hard when I stand for acceptance of the plus
size community and everyone around me is looking for the newest diet and
how "fat" they don't want to be.
LargeInCharge.com: What would you say inspires you most in life?
My inspiration is not one single person. It's all of those people and
groups and communities that stand for change. I am inspired by all the
ambitious people who want to make things better and improve our world.
LargeInCharge.com: What is your primary occupation?
I am a clerical assistant for the Bellflower Unified School District.
LargeInCharge.com: How did you get into this line of work?
I have always like the spotlight. Started dancing and performing since
the third grade. But growing up, I was always interested in modeling but
never knew where to get started. Finally, I got in contact with fashion
designer Chico Nieves who gave me the opportunity to represent
Curvalicious Fashionwear in a fashion show, and it took off from there.
LargeInCharge.com: Do you find acceptance in the work force?
So far, I have not been in a situation where I didn't feel accepted. I
have met so many people and they are all fair with everyone and believe
in equality in everyone, big or small.
LargeInCharge.com: What changes do you believe should take place for
Large People in the work force?
I think people should feel comfortable in their work environment. Not
feel judged because of their size.
LargeInCharge.com: What do you think about the fashion industry for big
I am very happy to see that many designers are expanding their lines to
fit people of all shapes. Being big does not describe a size. Even big
people come in different shapes.
LargeInCharge.com: What do you wish to see change with the fashion
I wish that they take a look at the everyday people. A big person does
not mean they will be the height of a model. There can be plus men/women
or plus petite men/women.
LargeInCharge.com: What changes do you think will happen if plus sized
modeling for men and women were to expand?
I think that would be great. Not only for the modeling industry, but for
our community. More people would feel accepted and feel like somebody
LargeInCharge.com: Tell us some of the places you buy your clothing
I buy clothes from everywhere. Sometimes I shop at mall stores like
Torrid and Forever 21. But I usually go to a store called Fashion Ave
Plus that is by my house
LargeInCharge.com: Tell us
one of your secret beauty tips.
Secret beauty tip... aloe vera! It's so useful and healing. I use it for
my hair. Just take a bottle half full of shampoo and put some aloe vera
in the blender. Add a little water and mix it with the shampoo. You will
have healthier longer hair in no time. You can also use aloe vera as a
wash or in a smoothie for healthy digestive system, although it won't
have the greatest taste.
LargeInCharge.com: Give us
some tips on how to have a successful Photo shoot.
What should models be prepared for?
Have fun! The first photo shoot will be the most nerve wracking. But
when you have fun and be yourself the pictures come out so natural and
beautiful! Be prepared to learn. Sometimes the photographer will want to
try a new technique that you aren't used to. But in the end you might
like it and end up trying it yourself in other shoots.
LargeInCharge.com: Look at Size acceptance five years ago... look at
size acceptance now. What
changes do you see?
The size acceptance is definitely expanding. Five years ago I had no
clue that so many organizations and committees and groups existed for
acceptance. It's great.
LargeInCharge.com: What changes do you think will happen five years from
now with size acceptance?
I'm thinking more people will accept others for who they are and more
people will pursue their careers and passion regardless of what size
LargeInCharge.com: Do you face discrimination in your daily life as a
Plus Sized Person?
No, thankfully I don't.
LargeInCharge.com: Tell us about your goals as far as modeling and other
I want to be a successful model. Not because of how many people know me
or how many fans I have. I want to change people’s lives. I want to
enrich minds and help others and let our younger generation growing up
know that there is no reason to hate themselves or their bodies, we are
all different. And we should love ourselves.
have you accomplished as a Plus Sized Model?
I have been able to represent petite plus sized girls that we can be
beautiful, that there is beautiful clothing in our size.
LargeInCharge.com: Have you
entered or won any Contests, Pageants or Awards?
What was the experience like?
I will be participating in the Mrs. Plus California Pageant. I am so
excited in this new journey for me! If I win, I get to go to Nationals
and compete for Mrs. Plus America. There are so many people who support
me. I Can't Wait!!!!
LargeInCharge.com: Can you tell us about an inspirational moment in your
life that made you feel good about your size.
My first experience as a model inspired me. Being given my first
opportunity, I think to myself... why stop here? When I can accomplish
more?? I felt so beautiful and there were so many beautiful women of all
LargeInCharge.com: Is there a person in your life that keeps you going?
My dad. That man is something else. I have never met someone so loving,
so unselfish, so funny and crazy. He is such a hard worker and never
expects anything from anyone. Nothing ever holds him back. He wants
something he gets it done or at least tries the best he can. I will
never forget the day I called him because I was having a bad day and he
told me "A strong person is not the one who falls and doesn't cry, a
strong person is the one who falls but manages to get right back up and
try again". -My Dad. I love him!!
LargeInCharge.com: What advice would you give to other people of size
who want to model?
Definitely patience, hard work, and never give up. Things don't happen
from one day to another. You have to keep trying. Regardless of
criticism or anyone who tells you, you can't or you’re not good enough.
If this is your dream, you do it!!
LargeInCharge.com: What plus size figure do you most admire?
Because I am new to the industry, I haven't had the chance to meet a lot
of people. But recently I met model Rosie Mercado. And that woman is so
great and so beautiful. Every time I hear she is working on something,
doing something new, breaking the norms. lol. She is great. A very
humble, and beautiful person.
LargeInCharge.com: Describe yourself with one word.
Thanks for reading about
Cover Model of the Month
Raqui the Owner and Founder of LargeInCharge.com, Raqui's "Tell it like it is" style of
writing has brought thousands to her blogs and millions to
LargeInCharge.com. There is so much behind the woman who has
brought this magazine into existence. Being Internationally
known as a wrestler/squasher lead the way to modeling for companies and being
featured in magazines and documentaries from all over the world.
She has made a career out of her size and personality. Born, Raised
and Residing in the Bronx NYC. This city girl is taking the world by
For the past 6 years Raqui officially moved into Size Acceptance and Empowerment.
With the creation of LargeInCharge she took what she said to
individuals to a higher level and made it public to the internet
world. She is a woman who doesn't let things get to her. Knock her
down for the moment but she will rise up stronger and better.
Being a speaker on behalf of many subjects and counseling Plus Sized
people online her grace and style has made people love her. Raqui continues to set an example of a powerful woman who will bend
the world to fit her, her way.
Raqui's appearances include, Uk Television, German TV, Japan, Europe,
and the Spanish circuit. Her many magazines appearances have
been world wide. She has hit American Television in 2006 with
Good Morning American and since has appeared on The Cristina Show,
The Maury Show and The Tyra Banks Show.
To view her Online
Raqui's New Blog titled Raqui-ism "Soulfully
Raqui Host's Super Sized Seminar at 16th Annual Vegas Bash 2012
www.Raqui.com Portfolio Section
COUGAR-ISM - A lifestyle to live by?
Written By: Raqui
This is a question I have been asking myself for a while. Being a 37
year old single woman is not always an easy thing, but it is not
terrible either. My husband died almost 11 years ago and I am on the
adventure of my life. Traveling and visiting, seeing places and
passing through locations I never thought I would see. I feel happy
and peaceful for the first time in my life and will never regret my
decision to try and see a few little spots in this wonderful
When it comes to dating I live by certain codes.
1. I will not date or have sex with a man who has been with someone
I know well. I don't care if they did break up, if the woman is not
OK with it I AM NOT OK WITH IT! And in reality it kinda creeps me
out thinking about sharing a penis with one of my friends. BLEECH!
2. I am not interested in women. Yes I am straight and while I love
my female companions in life. I never have nor will I ever see them
3. I am a big woman who will not apologize for my size. If you don't
like it don't look. While I might be HUGE woman (6'4 and 600+ lbs)
in comparison to others, I have never had a lack of attention from
4. Be open and honest with your needs and wants to avoid confusion.
And I am ending it here because I could go on.
5. When it comes to dating I prefer a man in my age range. Being a
Cougar is not my style.
Now I have dated a younger man a few times in my life. 2-4 years
isn't much of a difference. I was engaged at one time to a man 6 1/2
years younger and I felt weird about us dating at first. I was
turning 31 and he had just turned 24. I did realize that 6 1/2 years
wasn't that much of a gap when we had so much in common and we
enjoyed each other. Alas it did not end well, and I felt a lesson
After that relationship I was being approached even more often by
younger men. I wondered how could women in their 40's or older date
such young men? Like the ones who were approaching me. What future
do you have if any? Doesn't it feel strange dating or going to bed
with someone closer to your children's age? Is being a Cougar a good
lifestyle for a woman?
Definition of a Cougar (about.com) - The most commonly-accepted
definition of a cougar is a woman 40 years of age or older who
exclusively pursues very young men. The onset of the cougar years is
hotly debated. Some feel that a cougar can be as young as 35, but
women of this age would not be viewed as cougars unless their sexual
conquests were no older than 25; the ten-year age difference seems
to be an unspoken but accepted minimum between partners.
Typically, cougars prey upon men almost young enough to be their
sons. Thus forty-something cougars would be attracted to men in
their 20s, and fifty-something cougars would pursue men in their 30s
and so on.
During my daily life I do not pursue younger men; I am the one being
pursued. These men are not a few years younger than me, but 10 years
or more younger, Some just out of high school at the age of 19 or 20
years old. I constantly tell these men that the age difference is
too great, but they do not back down, they are determined to show
they are a man, and one worthy of a date. A man who can hold his own
and be a companion to an older women.
"Us Younger men treat older women better than the older guys." - One
24 year old told me while we chatted on the phone.
While networking I talk to many women. I have learned that the
average cougar is not what is seen on TV, A super slim, plastic
surgery patient, who is rich or well to do, searching bars at night
or meeting in night clubs to pick out and go after younger men.
The average cougar is not a predator at all, I'm not even sure
cougar is the right term. They are taking care of home, maybe a
widow, divorced or single. Maybe they have children or maybe not.
They are not HUNTING for younger men, they are chased by them.
Slowly being convinced by these young men, that they should be given
a chance, to spend time, date or maybe more. Yes many of these young
men want relationships, and are more than ready to start a life with
a woman who is not in their age range.
In fact many younger men have a strong resistance to seriously
dating women their own age. I have heard it all.
"It is just too much drama and problems". a 23 year old told me.
"If it’s not their gay best friend, it is every female friend they
got in our business, or their family or mama". One 27 year old said
"If I treat them nice they treat me like a dog". "If I am a asshole
they love it and can’t get enough, I can’t be a asshole and I don't
want to be either". A 25 year old young man vehemently spat.
"I don't want to live in a reality show, have you seen how some of
these chicks act"? a laughing 24 year old told me during a phone
"They dress like candy canes, act like drama queens, and have no
sense of pride". a 21 year old told me strongly one evening at a
dinner. He was a bus-boy.
"Maybe it is the females you’re picking". I said in reply.
"Why do you think I am talking to you, you’re a real grown up
"That is what I want". The 21 year old told me without hesitation.
I never wanted to date a man that much younger than me because I
felt my own mother made a mistake in marring my father 10 years
younger than her.
My mom was a young mother in her early 20's (with 3 children), when
my father (only 11 years old at the time) would pass by every day to
look at my mother from afar. Sometimes going inside and saying
hello. My mother worked at the local dry cleaners in the Bronx NY,
to provide for her children from her 1st marriage (an abusive drug
addicted man she divorced). She worked very hard and was a good
mother. My father had a full blown school boy crush (one that I have
found most men share) the crush on their ultimate woman.
She is the woman around the block or town, she is the teacher they
love or hate, she is the baby sitter that cared for them, the female
friend of their mother or mother of one of their friends. She exudes
everything womanly. In her 30's 40's or 50's these women that boys
love as they grow up, are everything they want in a woman. They
represent the ultimate in female, strong, confident, self-assured,
provider, temptress, fully mature with ripened breasts, Bellies that
have carried children, and legs and butts that have swollen. They
have a movement that is looser, more relaxed than a young woman but
is not of a old woman. She is just right. She comes in all forms,
tall, short, skinny, fat, really fat, and all in between, she can be
dark or light, long hair or short. She is exactly what the young man
sees as attractive. She can be every woman or fit a certain type.
She isn't seen as a mother figure like most people believe. In fact
many younger men hate the term cub (the cougar and her cub) because
they date older women. These women do not represent MOTHER, one
young man told me. They represent everything womanly and feminine,
confident and able, mentally stable and no-nonsense.
"They are the best of everything that is WOMAN"! one 26 year old
told me as we had a conversation.
My fathers crush lasted way into his late teens and developed. When
he finally was a physically mature man and able to go into the navy
(during Vietnam) he told my mother he wanted to marry her and would
be back. He wrote her letters during the war, and while he saw
others, he never lost sight of the woman he really wanted, the one
who he had been watching for years. While his teenage hellos went by
unnoticed by my mother, his love grew, Until finally he was a man
and could express it.
After the war he came back actively pursuing, wooing, and married my
mother at the ripe old age of 21 with my mother being 31. No one
could tell the difference in age (My family line is one that
gracefully ages, on both sides, always looking 10 years or more
younger.) I was born when my father was 26 and my mother 36. They
loved each other fiercely but yet my father was still to young
mentally and life was not happy. Mom tried hard to make it work, but
after 11 years of marriage it was over. My mother divorced my father
all the while he protested. My Father has said he owes everything to
my mother she taught him so much and he changed because of her. He
grew up. Still to this day my father would do anything for my mother
if he could. I guess you never lose sight of your first love.
I didn't want to be that woman, helping a young man grow up. NO I
WANT A MAN WHO IS GROWN ALREADY! But during the dating process I
started to notice something. Many men (not all but many) in my age
range who are single, and available, seem so sad, mad, hopeless,
hurt, and yes some down right depressed and affected. Lets say jaded
in some ways, maybe years of hurt, pain, and failed relationships
took its toll on them. To the point they don't even try anymore.
The younger man isn't that way, they are hopeful, ready, happy,
funny, and looking for some joy to counter act the hard work they
are putting into developing themselves. Younger men still have some
romance left in them. They take a chance in speaking to a woman even
if they feel she is out of there league. They are not as afraid of
rejection and openly flirt, yet they don't have particular
expectations. Open to listening and talking, not judging and enjoy
what the older woman has to say. They appreciate a older woman who
spends time with them, whether its talking, going out, or more. They
know she doesn't have to pick them to spend time with and are happy
if she does.
Men my age feel that if they have a house, car, and a job they don't
need anything else. Maybe that will impress a woman in her 20's but
a woman in my age range needs more than that. Chances are we already
have our own house, car, job and maybe more than what he has. He
isn't giving the one thing that would impress a woman in her 30's
40's 50's genuine interest, companionship, and worth. Many men in
their 30's 40's 50's feel if he isn't getting exactly what he wants,
as he wants it, then getting to know a female is a waste of time.
Why even bother having a conversation if she doesn't fit in his
little box of wants, forget that she is a individual of her own.
It is what she can do or will do for him immediately. The
thing I don't get is if you don't get to know a person how can you
figure out what they can or cannot do? Most importantly what can you
do for her in return other than talk about yourself and the items
It seems like the difference in approach is significant.
As a loose example here are two approaches from men that happened to
me with in a week period. (This does not represent all men)
The Man in his 30's - He saw me our eyes locked and he walked past
me. I saw the attraction and waved hello to him but he kept going
only coming back when a friend of mine was walking to my vehicle. He
got my name from her and then came over to speak to me. We spoke
briefly he flirted some but was more focused on telling me what he
had, such as house, car, etc. He thought I was 25 when I told him I
was 37 he was surprised. We exchanged numbers and the phone call he
promised, didn't happen. He texted me a invitation to his house two
days later and when I suggested we meet up to get to know each other
he declined. I understood he was only looking for one thing but the
way he handled the situation was totally classless. I could have
been looking for the same thing but he guaranteed rejection with his
actions. What happen to the Get to Know a Person Process?
The Man in his early 20's - Upon parking I was getting together my
items to place in my shopping cart to enter my residence. He was
sitting outside smoking a cigarette. My cart rolled away, He ran up
to help me, His eyes were large and almost dreamy while I said thank
you and put my items inside. He watched me carefully and smiled at
me as I started walking. He opened doors and kept asking me
questions about myself and answering questions about himself. He
made me laugh and I didn't want to go inside because this was a nice
conversation. He also was surprised at my age, he thought I was 26
(he is 24).
When i told him my age he said;
I guess I just love a woman like you, Your built, your look,
everything is amazing.
I looked at him with a side glance and he immediately said;
I don't want you to think I am flirting with you... because I am.
OK he got me with that cute move, I came out after I put away my
things. We sat and talked for quite a while. About life, what we
want to do, music, where we came from. What we want to accomplish
while we are here at this location. What we like and dislike, all
the while his smile and humorous flirtations just tickled me. He was
so vibrant and hopeful, he looked at me like I am not just a woman
he liked, but everything he ever dreamed and hoped for in the word
WOMAN. I was his image of her placed right down in his path like a
gift. He wanted to know me and that was a nice experience.
It is a similar situation every time I come across a younger man. I
am more often than not treated like my time was a gift that I was
sharing. This is not just one young man one evening... this is over
and over again from the younger men who try to get and keep my
As I was about to get up to leave he gave me his hands to help me
up. He looked at me up and down. My extreme large 6'4 600+ lb frame
super curvy and thick with extra helpings of everything, compared to
his 5'8 180 lb nicely built young body.
He then says, "I think I can pick you up"!
Humor in my voice I say, "go ahead try it".
Knowing he wasn't going to be able to.
He came in close and put his arms around my waist and rested them on
my overly ample hips. I heard him smell me with a few deep breaths
and press himself softly against me. He backed up slowly staring me
deeply in my eyes.
"No... I don't think I would try to pick you up... I would rather
make love to you, if I ever got close enough to you." "If I was ever
given that chance."
He statement while serious and sensual it wasn't dirty... and it was
said in such a sweet way that I couldn't help but give him a kiss on
"AWE your too sweet... Then I smooched him.
"Can I give you one back?"
"OK" I replied
When he moved in closer to me with his arms around me he leaned up
to kiss my face three times from my ear down my jaw line.
As he did this my thought was... "I see why".
I saw why dating a young man with a fun, vibrant personality, yet
sweet was something cougars do. These men haven't been through the
ringer yet and hopefully they wont become like the men who are in my
age range now.
His kisses didn't come with expectation; he just lived with me in
the moment and hoped to share more moments. He kissed my face so
softly and sweetly as if he might never have the chance again. Yeah
of course this could just be his way but whatever it was worked
because I gave him my number to call me.
The next day I looked at the evening before and the kisses as just a
wonderful experience and I then looked at cougars a different way.
In many culture the older woman, young man relationship is very
important. She in her wisdom teaches him to be a man and to treat
women correctly. What type of women has the qualities for a wife and
which don't. She takes this seriously and realizes she is preparing
him for life with woman as companion. But now relationships are
coming about from older women, younger men relationships.
What about relationships that start with young man/older women. Some
studies have shown that they can be the longest lasting most
successful relationships. In a twist other relationships with older
man/younger women or partners of the same age do not last as long.
Some say it is a horrible experience and some twist it to make it
sick. Yet these relationships are still happening, the numbers
increase, and more and more happy couples are coming about from it.
I can’t judge any one's relationship and if it works then I say be
happy. Still I don't know if it would work for me.
As my phone range several times the next day, I wondered if it was
this young man who had kissed me so sweetly with dreamy eyes. When I
answered his voice was happy and excited.
"I have been thinking about you all day!" he said to me.
"I thought about you too." I replied.
So me and this younger man hung out, had fun, and laughed more than
I have laughed in a long time. There was no pressure, no
expectations, just two people being people. I can say I enjoyed
being with this young man and it opened my eyes to Cougar-ism in a
I guess rules are made to be broken because I am going to date
whoever actually wants to spend time with me, as two people getting
to know each other. Now I can’t say I would have a full blown
committed relationship with a man much younger. But at this point I
am never going to say never. I don't need to be proven wrong again!
HA HA HA
- Weekly Radio show discussing Plus Sized Issues. Friday's 7-9
pm EST - Call in & Chat in our Chat Room.
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Please send thoughts and comments to
Xander brings blend of life experience and culinary twist to his
writing. From cooking on television and live demonstrations, to
writing Xander cook’s like he feels. A former Chicago native
transplanted to Tennessee, His goal has been to experience the
fullness of food heritage. He believes that as a people and society,
can learn a lot from what we eat. Combining a great life lesson and
a easy recipe. They go hand-in-hand to provide a tasty
addition to your day. Xander has to confess that ingredients in a
great meal are like the ingredients in a great life are never far
Off and On
by Xander The Food Dude
Up until the last few months the phrase and action of off
and on had little meaning to me. Things like turn off or on
the television turn off and on the light, turn on some
people while other you turn off.
It was nothing significant.
It was all throw away information, nothing really to
give a second though about.
It was in the last few months that it’s taken on a
whole new meaning.
The doctor approaches me and asks, "what do want us
to do if she codes?”
For those of you who don't know the word "codes"
means that the person has died.
He's asking if I want them to try and revive my
mother if she dies.
I have admit that over the last few months I had
finally gotten used to the question, not the idea of
my mother dying, but I was used to the question.
I had my all purpose answer:
"my mother's health directives indicate that she has
chose to be revived if possible, unless there is no hope of
replies "ok", and then he asks me come out of the room and
sit with him.
He begins; her decision is to be revived.
He looks me dead cold in the eyes and says,
I don't understand the question.
He continues, "you really need to think about what
you need to do, I'm not telling you what to do, but you also
need to know that the reviving process can be very brutal,
bruised or broken bones, tissue damage, etc etc.
YOU need to think about your mother's quality of life
and ultimately what she would want, not what you want".
I can only put this one way… I was destroyed.
Since then these television scenes have flashed
though my head of the moment when my mother may be on a life
support machine…. One minute it on and she is alive….the
next it is off and she is gone.
Off and on didn't seem to be such a scary thing before that
day. Now I think
about it every time I turn on the television of turn off the
There is a great quote for the movie "Coach Carter" in which
one of his team stands and says “Our deepest fear is not
that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are
powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness,
that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve
the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so
that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all
meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us;
it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we
unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence
automatically liberates others.
I think about it often in dealing with my mother now. I have
to remember to transform my fear and struggle into courage
and hope when I'm with my mother.
It does her no good to see me in fear or doubt.
I recognize that through some of these times I was
most scared, it was my light I was afraid to share with her
because I though I knew the odds she was facing, or the
potential of more strokes.
In the end it is not my darkness, but my light that she
needs from me.
It is my light that will give her permission to embrace her
light. It has
been a long path and promises to be a vastly longer journey
in front of us, but I think we can make it, ever so slowly,
step by step if we can focus on our light.
The weird thing is that like the television we can
choose to turn that light on when we want to or need to.
Keep yours on.
Until the next time, tell those people you love, that you
love them, never hold back, and hold them as though you will
never let them go.
Leave no doubt in their hearts and minds how you feel
about them. That
is a quick way to turn on a whole house of lights.
God bless each of you until next time.
of the Month
Florentine Pesto Chicken
This is such a great dishes, the wonderful flavors or the chicken with
the smooth silkiness of the Florentine is sure to become a family
favorite in no time. Its
also extremely healthy.
garlic, finely chopped
boneless chicken breast halves - cut into strips
2 cups fresh
1 (4.5 ounce)
package dry Alfredo sauce mix
1 (8 ounce)
package dry penne pasta
grated Romano cheese
Heat oil in a
large skillet over medium high heat, Add garlic, sauté for 1 minute;
then add chicken and cook for 7 to 8 minutes on each side. When chicken
is close to being cooked through (no longer pink inside), add spinach
and sauté all together for 3 to 4 minutes.
prepare Alfredo sauce according to package directions. When finished,
stir in 2 tablespoons pesto; set aside.
In a large pot
of salted boiling water, cook pasta for 8 to 10 minutes or until al
dente. Rinse under cold water and drain.
chicken/spinach mixture to pasta, and then stir in pesto/Alfredo sauce.
Mix well, top with cheese and serve.
Thank you for
Reading Good Food 4U
By Xander the Food Dude
Please send thoughts and comments to
Angie BEE grew-up a standard-sized young woman, educated in
communications, promotions and planning.
She became a wife, mother and ministry support member while
building businesses and her faith.
Through stress, age and a poor diet and while suffering from major
depression and attempted suicide, Angie BEE's weight climbed from
180 pounds to 360 pounds.
She was diagnosed with high blood pressure, diabetes,
obstructive sleep apnea, an overactive bladder and poor leg
circulation. At the age
of 40 an anxiety attack and the decline in her mental health forced
her to stop work and look at improving her declining health.
It was during this time that Angie BEE became inspired by her
younger sister Sonya Bennett during her process towards Gastric
Bypass Surgery. Sonya
launched this column and will return occasionally to contribute to
it, but now that she is three years-post surgery... her life is
focused on something new!
Now, celebrating her first year of a new life since having the
procedure herself, Angie BEE is healthier than she has been in over
a decade. Losing the
first 100 pounds was just the bonus!
She is now diabetes-free.
She has normal blood pressure.
The circulation in her legs is normal.
She sleeps without a c-pap machine and more!
The joy that she feels is documented each day in her
syndicated radio show, a brand new weekly
TV show documentary and each month in this article.
The Big GB stands for The BIG Gastric Bypass and it also
stands for "Getting (my life) Back".
This article reflects how Angie BEE's life has improved... by
the grace of God and as the result of having Gastric Bypass surgery
on Feb 28, 2011. This
is now her life!
with Angie Bee
Last month, my baby sister gave birth to my first niece.
I was there to help my sister with the contractions and I was
honored to cut the umbilical cord.
Baby Sandra is a blessing to our family and I cover her in
prayer every day!
This month my baby daughter Jasmine graduates from high school.
I am thrilled to be her mother and honored to see what an
outstanding young woman she has grown up to be.
She was my solid rock through the suicide attempts years ago;
she helped me through the weight loss surgery and she is the joy in
my life now as I watch her evolve into adulthood.
Families grow and change and family members reach out to you for
Transition is good for your health and well-being, and today I
reflect upon how transition can reinforce your strength, as well.
Some can view a transition as a loss: a fiancé breaks up with
you and walks away without even looking back at you.
A husband moves on to the arms of another that can give him a
son. A daughter moves
on to no longer need you and a sister that never needed you before
is suddenly in your arms.
Life brings transition and sometimes our lives AFTER
weight-loss surgery can help us handle those transitions.
During the birth of my niece, I was craving chocolate.
Craving was an understatement.
I NEEDED a bag of chocolate!
I don't know if it was because my sister was in pain and I
couldn't take her pain away or if it was because I was just nervous.
Whatever the reason for my craving, I was grateful that the
bypass surgery I'd had last year restricted by intake.
After about five M&M's that melted in my mouth, I was good!
My weight loss surgeon always said that the surgery is a tool
to help us lose weight, and this situation was an example of how
this tool helped me. If
my niece had been born in early 2011 and I was having these
cravings, I wouldn't have been satisfied until five (5) BAGS of M&Ms
were devoured! (smh)
Life after weight loss surgery has helped me during the transition
of my daughter leaving home, too!
Last month, my daughter moved away to live with her father
while she is preparing to enter college.
She finished her high school credits in January and even
though graduation doesn't take place until later this month, she
wanted to get started with her new job and goals.
I am proud of her but the transition into my "empty nest" was
made easier because of the weight-loss surgery.
I don't have to cook for two anymore and I don't have to feel
compelled to eat the left-over's from her plate.
I grew up in a "clean-your-plate" home and I had to learn
that it's okay to cook smaller portions and throw away the
leftovers. It's okay to
be in charge of my eating habits and to not let stress and
loneliness contribute to overeating.
These latest transitions are blessings in my life and I am proud to
still feel like I am in charge of me.
Yes! I got
teased last month while I was in Detroit with my sisters:
my clothes are a little big on me (lol) and I need to go
shopping. I guess I
still need to work on that, but God is good and maybe someone will
volunteer to be my fashion designer as I lose this weight!
Just knowing that these life transitions won't stop me from
losing weight is an incentive to keep looking forward!
I look forward to more insulin-free days now that the Type 2
Diabetes is still in remission.
I look forward to my blood pressure remaining normal.
I look forward to my daughter's graduation and I look forward
to seeing my niece and sisters again!
I can look forward to having a long life of joy and praise
and good health after losing nearly 150 pounds since my February,
2011 surgery and I look forward to sharing more with you next month!
BEE Blessed, Fam
Author, Magazine Publisher, Producer, Promoter &
The Host of The Hottest Home Hotspot WORLDWIDE
Syndicated Holy Hip Hop Radio Show
Last Week I wanted to Die!
NOW AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE!
Thanks for reading
The Big GB - My Gastric Bypass Memoirs
Sonya Bennett on Facebook
Founded in 1969, NAAFA is a non-profit
civil rights organization dedicated to improving the quality of life
for fat people. NAAFA works to eliminate discrimination based on
body size and provide fat people with the tools for self-empowerment
through public education, advocacy, and member support.
This Column is dedicated to the tremendous
work NAAFA has been doing for over four decades. LargeInCharge
wishes to support NAAFA in spreading the word of its work, and give
the public more information into issues we as plus sized people
should be aware of. The fight for equality for people of all
sizes is one we support.
This Column will include News Releases and
Calls to Action from NAAFA Directors.
This Column has been Approved by NAAFA.org
NAAFA Introduces New Travel Brochure
Air travel is no longer convenient, customer friendly or fun,
especially if you are a passenger of large body size.
NAAFA, in association with the Association for Airline
Passenger Rights (AAPR), has developed a new
Travel tips for people of
size brochure to help make traveling easier and more pleasant,
while improving the air travel experience for everyone.
This new brochure includes tips on selecting and booking the best
flight for you. You’ll
find packing tips and suggestions for your airport experience.
NAAFA has included a section especially for travel agents as
well as a list of airlines, a brief description of each airline’s
policy regarding passengers of size along with a link to their
webpage that covers this subject.
Travel tips for people of size
is available as a free download from the NAAFA website at:
NAAFA Convention EARLYBIRD SPECIAL!
NAAFA is pleased to announce that we will return to the San
Francisco Bay Area for our 2012 fund-raising convention.
We have worked hard to keep the cost of this convention down
and to move quickly in making our convention package available in
time for you to give or receive a convention package for the
NAAFA is once again offering a Early Bird Special price is $199.00
from January 1 through May 31, 2012.
Beginning June 1, 2012, full convention price will be
The 2012 NAAFA Convention Package would make a great holiday gift
for you, your family and all your friends!
Can’t afford a convention package?
Why not give a one year contributing NAAFA membership for
Make your reservations at the Westin San Francisco Airport Hotel.
Room rates are $89 per night!
This group rate will be available until July 10, 2012.
Westin is prepared to receive your NAAFA convention
reservations today at:
We encourage you to register for the NAAFA convention package today
and to fully participate in this life-changing event.
We made it easy for you to register for the convention as
well as the hotel through our website at www.naafa.org.
Watch our website for more exciting details as they become
Founded in 1969, NAAFA is a non-profit human rights organization
dedicated to improving the quality of life for fat people.
NAAFA works to eliminate discrimination based on body size
and provide fat people with the tools for self-empowerment through
public education, advocacy, and member support.
On the web:
Thanks for reading
From the Desk of NAAFA
Lucia Roth, was born in New Orleans, Louisiana. Graduated with a B. A.
degree in Communication from Southeastern Louisiana University and is
considering going back for her Masters degree. Lucia a people person and
is always willing to help out a friend in need. She enjoys music,
movies, poetry, and good book on a rainy day. Lucia has several mottos
This is one: Knowledge talks, wisdom listens.
wanted to re- introduce myself, since I just joined Large In Charge
magazine last year. My name is Lulu, and I am a fashion writer for
largeincharge.com I am a fashion junkie:) I look forward to finding
wonderful fashion find and product of the month for you. I also look
forward to chatting with you all an reading some good fashion comments!
Please let me know if you have a favorite. Web_girl1999@yahoo.com
Picks of the Month
Product of the Month
Fashion Find Type: Sale
Sale Price: 50% off
Evansusa.com has been specially designed to make
sure there are outfits for all shapes, sizes and occasions,
helping US shoppers browse on a dedicated US site for plus
size work wear, party wear or something more casual.
Recommended by: Lucia
Name of Product: E.L.F.
Type of Product: Lip
Where Product can be found:
Description: e.l.f. Essential Shimmer Lip Gloss
This high shine lip gloss is infused with dazzling shimmer
that gives the perfect amount of sparkle for instant
dimension on lips. The non-sticky, lightweight formula is
rich and soothing for comfortable wear. Mix and match shades
for a custom lip look or layer over your favorite e.l.f.
lipstick for a chic shimmery smile. Come in 6 different
Pat is a forty something woman living in
Southern Ontario, Canada. She has a varied past and has worked teaching
literacy and English as a second language to adults, as an environmental
science technician and in the health and safety field. Currently she
works in marketing.
Pat fiercely believes in human rights for all and has volunteered for
organizations that raise funds and develop and implement programs to
help impoverished people and educate women in third world countries.
Although relatively new to the size acceptance movement, Pat believes
with all her heart that people of size deserve equal treatment and
In her spare time she likes to read fiction, go to bashes and spend time
with Pat Llewellyn
It seems I'm not quite over my depression.
I've had a major setback.
Depression is one of those things that is hard to talk about.
There is a huge stigma associated with it. I've always made an
effort to talk about it. It always amazes me of the variety of
responses people have to me admitting that I suffer from
depression. The most common response is you don't look
depressed. My response is always, I hide it well.
This latest episode has me off work while we try to fix it.
What's amazed me the most is the support that people have shown
me. People who I never expected to have reached out to be there
I truly feel blessed...
Lots of love
Ms Suga is a plus size woman hailing from Sunny South Florida. She
is a 24 year old recent recipient of a Bachelor in Arts degree in
Communication Studies. Being plus size for the majority of her life
she has overcome many obstacles to finally come to the point where
she is fully content with herself and her life. This self love has
also allowed Ms Suga the privilege of sharing her love with those
around her. She is very passionate about life and loves to help
Ms Suga likes to see herself as the one everyone can go
to for positive, inspirational and truthful words of advice and/or
support. She is the Beautiful Inspirational Girl that is blessed,
intellectual, trustworthy, caring and hardworking.
Ms Suga has had a passion for writing since she was a
little girl when she used to think of short stories about what her
life would be like as she got older. This is Ms Suga’s first
opportunity for her thoughts to be public for the world to see.
Excited about this column Ms Suga is also very optimistic of her
future in writing and promoting self love and acceptance in the plus
Happy and Healthy
with Ms Suga
I've been struggling over this topic for a few weeks and as I was
fixing my snacks for the week the words finally came to me.
I, Ms. Suga, currently
weight over 300 lbs. and for the most part I am healthy. The last
time I went to the doctor she said "I think you should lose weight
so you don't have problems in the future but I can say I will see
you next year." Now I'm not going to give you some health nut
lecture and all that jazz but what I do want to give you my opinion
on something's we all can do to get better than we are. I'm
encouraging you to just try it for a couple of weeks and if you
don't feel better then say "to hell with Ms. Suga she don't know
what she talking about." But if you do feel a difference (which I'm
almost certain you will) then please please please pay it forward.
So here we go.
1) Eating Habits.
In March I decided to edit my eating habits. I made up my mind to
only eat until I'm full and only eat if I'm hungry. That whole
feeling like you're about to pop and can't get up to do anything for
the rest of the day has really gotten played out. So the first day
my parents and I went out Red Lobster. I ordered everything I wanted
to order; shrimp pasta, clam strips, shrimp scampi, those delicious
cheddar bay biscuits they are famous for. (Hhhhmmmmm in my Homer
Simpson voice) The only thing I did differently is that when I got
full I stopped eating, asked for a to go plate and just talked and
laughed while everyone finished. When we all were finished and it
was time to go I actually was able to fit in my car!!! I went
shopping was able to try on clothes and everything! And that night
when I got home I had enough food for dinner.
That helped my body and my wallet you can't beat that right? The
point is to learn that you can be happy eating until you're full
instead of filling up by eating. So are you willing to try it?
2) Being Active
It's not as bad as you think! I’m not telling you to go to the gym
every day and run yourself ragged and be drenched in sweat but you
can be still active. (Someone else might tell you that that is the
best thing for you but right here right now Ms. Suga is not going
down that road.) Walking, running, dancing, shopping, hell having
sex is being active. Well that's if you're doing it right ;-). Being
active doesn't have to be anything major just something to get the
blood pumping. Try walking around the house during a commercial
break the next time you are watching Dancing with the Stars, The
Voice, Somebody's Housewives even the NBA Playoffs.
Go dancing with your friends, hit the club, and dance the night
away. Try yoga! Yes…Yes big people can be yogis too! Last year I
took a yoga class and I still try to do it as often as I can. Just
remember to modify what you cannot do to make things comfortable for
you. Trust me yoga has saved quite a few people from getting their
Next try having sex...that will definitely get the blood pumping.
Sex with a partner, sex with yourself try a new position and expand
your horizons. When it's all said and done you will be more relaxed
and will probably feel better when you finally wake up ;-)
Ok so I think those two ideas alone are enough to get you started.
Try it for two weeks and see if you don't feel different. If it does
email me and let me know your results firstname.lastname@example.org and put
Happy and Healthy in the subject.
Little changes can go a long way. Get healthier, be happier, and
inspire someone to do the same. I hope I just did, until next time
Inspire Life, Inspire Love
Gabriela Falarz lives in Toronto, Canada.
She has been up and down the scale for most of her life (mostly up),
and is proud to say that she loves herself no matter what her size,
although it has definitely been an evolution.
She blogs about size acceptance in her blog,
Celebreight Yourself (www.celebreightyourself.blogspot.com).
Gabriela discovered Large in Charge Radio about a year ago
and has been hooked ever since. She is thrilled to be writing for
Large in Charge and to be part of an organization that helps all
large people realize how beautiful, special, and amazing they are.
Self Loathing will Never make You Thin
with Gabriela Falarz
For the past few months, I’ve been promoting a workshop idea. It’s
about loving yourself whatever size you are, and I designed it
specifically for plus sized women. Unfortunately, I didn’t receive
much interest about it, which shocked me. But I also got an email
from a man about an ad I had posted. The subject line read,
pleasantly enough, “Please read this” and even had a smiley face
beside it. So I was a little taken aback when I actually read it.
Without identifying him, I will quote some of what he wrote to me:
“I'm a 33 year old male and I weigh 300 pounds. My Doctor says I
need to lose 100 pounds in order to be Healthy and not be in any
sort of health risk. I am Fat because, I am lazy and I don`t
practice good eating habits. As a Fat and Overweight person myself,
I am telling you that being Fat and Overweight is nothing to be
proud of. When a man or woman is Fat, it is not the responsibility
of society to respect them and feel sorry for them. Respect is
something that is earned, especially through Hard Work. Nor should a
fat person feel sorry for themselves, or even worse, Proud for being
This one paragraph both saddened and angered me. I’m not angry at
this man for stating his opinion, but I am angry at his
whole-hearted acceptance of the fat prejudice around him. A lot of
fat people are like this: they believe that simply because they are
fat, they deserve to be treated badly. Perhaps they feel that the
constant shame and ridicule that’s heaped upon them will motivate
them to finally lose the weight that’s hampered their lives. I
certainly can’t say that I’ve been immune to hating myself at times.
It’s all around us, constantly, EVERY SINGLE DAY. It takes an
enormous amount of strength and self-discipline to re-train your
mind into believing that despite your weight, you are still a
worthy, decent, deserving human being. This is what saddens me.
It’s so much easier to give in to the majority, even if the majority
is wrong. That basic human need we all have, to be loved and
accepted by others, is so overpowering for some people that they
will embrace a group that hates them, in order to gain acceptance
from, or to avoid being criticized by that group. Here’s another
quote from his email that illustrates this tendency, and that
“I think I speak for Majority of society when I say that Being Fat
and Overweight is Ugly, Unhealthy and is Not a disability.”
First of all, not everyone thinks that fat is ugly. There are many,
many people who can see beauty in fat bodies. Not everyone finds
them repulsive. Secondly, excessive overweight is unhealthy. We
can’t deny that there are certain health risks associated with being
overweight. However, I don’t believe the health risks are anywhere
near as dire as the medical community make them out to be; and most
importantly, the health risks do not trump any fat person’s basic
right to be treated with respect. When it comes down to it, it
is a person’s individual choice how to live their life, and if they
choose to ignore possible health risks, that is their decision. As
far as fat being a disability, I believe there is some truth to
that. I think emotional eating is the number one reason most fat
people are fat. Most of us don’t overeat because we’re hungry: we
overeat because it’s the only way we have learned how to get relief
from disturbing emotions. When someone has been using food to cope
with negative emotions their whole life, it’s no different than
reaching for a bottle of alcohol or a needle full of drugs.
Alcoholism and drug addiction are both considered diseases, and I
classify binge and emotional eating the same way.
But most importantly, as far as the majority goes, I couldn’t
hesitate to point out to him the most horrifying and obvious fact:
Just because the majority says something is right and good, doesn’t
make it so. Hitler and the Nazi party were the majority in Germany
at one time. They gassed millions of people simply because of their
religion. Sometimes the majority is downright EVIL. And I believe
the way that fat people are treated in this society, except for a
few enlightened souls here and there, is downright EVIL.
If you’re fat, and you think hating yourself is a good way to live
your life, I urge you to think again. You can’t possibly do anything
good for yourself or benefit yourself in any way if you despise
yourself for the way you look. Please realize I’m not advocating
being delusional! It’s not possible to say you love yourself and
then look in the mirror and sneer. If there are things about your
body that you dislike and want to change, then simply say to
yourself, Okay, I’m not too fond of this part of myself. But that
doesn’t mean that I’m unhappy with every single thing about myself!
Acknowledge what’s positive, and work on changing the negative.
Be kind to yourself. Try to realize that you are MORE than your body
… that you, as a human being, are so many different things. You have
a mind, you have an imagination, you have talents and abilities. Try
to start loving yourself by acknowledging those positive things, and
try and make peace with your body. This doesn’t mean giving yourself
carte blanche to eat whatever you want, whenever you want. It means,
try to be more conscious of what you eat, WHY you eat, and how it is
going to affect your body. Whenever you’re contemplating or actually
holding that “offending” piece of food in your hand, ask yourself:
Is this good for me? If not, why do I feel compelled to eat this? If
you know it’s coming from an emotional need, try to stop and think
it through. What are the emotions driving you to eat this unhealthy
thing? Is it safety, comfort, or relaxation that you need? Is there
another way you can satisfy those needs?
This is a lifelong, difficult process. It’s not easy to change a
lifetime of poor eating habits. Becoming more conscious of your
inner life, of the “real” you, is crucial to addressing your weight
problem. You HAVE to love yourself. It is absolutely necessary. You
cannot do yourself any good if you hate yourself.
As I told the guy who emailed me, in my response: Life sucks when
you hate yourself.
Kathy is originally from a small town in Michigan but has lived in
San Diego County since she's been 18 years old. Kathy
graduated from San Diego State University with a Bachelors in
Finance in 1999.
She has a real estate broker’s license and works as a mortgage
Kathy also owns BBW Club Catalina in San Diego which has monthly
night club parties and other fun events on a frequent basis.
Kathy has been an avid supporter of NAAFA, Vegas BBW Bash and
San Diego BBW Bash and believes in size acceptance and health at
Kathy is a firm believer that people need to have a full life by
going to the movies, dinner, bowling, dancing and anything that will
make them a happier person and not wait til they are at the perfect
size to start living their life to the fullest.
Kathy is in her mid-40's and her children are grown and living
productively on their own.
In her spare time she likes trying new restaurants, dancing,
modeling, bowling and spending time with family and friends.
The Man with all those Baby Mama's...
why are you dating him?
with Kathy Hernandez
Everyone knows or is friends with a few of
these men who have 3 or 4 different women they have children with…
but have you ever dated a man who has 11 children with 8 different
Baby Mama's? I know you
are asking yourself is that even possible?
How can any man have that many children with that many
I remember when I first found out this
particular man had this scenario, I remember it vividly because I
was dancing closely to him at a night club when he told me that he
had fathered 11 children and I actually stepped back from him and
told him I was afraid to dance with him because I was afraid he
might get me pregnant from dancing so close to him in which of
course made us both laugh.
What thoughts go through your mind when you
first hear this about a man you thought about dating?
Let's see how about this man has serious commitment issues
and has a whole lot of unprotected sex which are both issues if you
are the woman who wants to be in a serious relationship with
Second thought would be how does this man
pay child support for all of these children and still have a roof
over his head and eat?
Third thought is how does anyone have time
to spend with these children when they are spread out all over the
place with all these 8 different women?
Fourth thought is if he is a good father and of course we
want the men in our lives to be good fathers, when would he have
time to spend with me?
Fifth thought is, do I want to be Baby Mama
Sixth thought, girl run away and never look
back or you will be turned into a pillar of salt.
Do you give up on a man because his past
relationships didn't work out or because his stats and reputation
aren't the happily ever after you have always dreamed of?
I think everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt, so can
old dogs learn new tricks is the next question.
Every new relationship has excess baggage
from the previous relationships and it's something you have to deal
with. What about the
crazy baby mama's who can't let go of the past and use their
children as a way of manipulating the man to do what she wants which
is of course spend time with her or make sure that no one else has
the man who got away from her.
How many Jerry Springer episodes have been featured about
Baby Mama Drama where the man cheats on his new girlfriend with one
of his baby mama's?
I actually watched a recent episode where
the man tried to say he wasn't cheating because he already had a
past relationship with his ex and how could it possibly be cheating
if they have a baby together.
what world is it not cheating in a committed relationship just
because you have sampled the cookie before?
Do you think a relationship can survive if a super jealous
baby mama is still in love with the ex of her baby?
I think it's possible but it puts a huge strain on a
relationship to be constantly interrupted by the jealous ranting’s
of the baby mama. I've
had my car keyed by a boy friends baby mama and she sent me a text
to look at the damage on my car at the same time saying that it
wasn't her... yeah right!
Let's talk about the children now and how
this affects them because we know that children can see and feel all
the drama and stress that is happening all around them.
Children should be our number one priority in our lives in
which is taking care of them, loving them, giving them stability and
all the games that are played with this baby mama drama isn't an
ideal situation to raise children in at all.
The next question that you have to ask yourself is will this
relationship with all the problems, drama, children and baby mama's
ever get better or end up where everybody lives happily ever after?
If it does you would be the exception and not the rule and
how much will you and everyone involved suffer if it does end up
working out? The final
and most important question is does he view you as just another
future baby mama or does he think of you as the one and only love of
his life and wants to be in a committed relationship with you and
thinks of you as his future wife and partner and his happily ever
after? If he tells
you that he doesn't want to live together or ever get married than
it's time to move on and look for Mr Right and stop spending time
with Mr Right Now and better known as that Professional Baby Daddy.
Celebrating almost 2 decades as a Graphic Designer/Published
Illustrator, Jean Nerestant Jr (Jness) got his start as a graphic
artist in 1994, Still working as a graphic designer by day/ Jness
devotes time to his hip hop Culture, comic book art and Plus
Modern Day Heroes
Look up in the sky it’s a bird, it’s a plane, no… it’s
big, beautiful you!
So often I have been fortunate enough to sit down and be
interviewed by a few fellow bloggers. The most common question that
I am asked is, “What do you admire the most about the full figured
woman?” After addressing the obvious answers about the curvy
silhouette’s effect on the artistic eye, I finally get to the most
concrete of responses… I admire the plus-size woman because she is a
hero in her own right.
Let’s look at the word hero. Most definitions of the word
usually involve a person who saves others from some grave fate or a
harrowing situation. My review of the term “hero” involves bravery
and perseverance, the stuff that raises the phoenix from the ashes.
Sometimes saving others from their plight can be accomplished by
being a shining example. Showing someone how to survive is an
amazing gift. It reminds me of the saying, “Give a man a fish and
you feed him for a day. Show a man how to fish and you feed him for
I am referring to the struggle that people of size face
everyday. Often people who do not fit into the “size” demographic
don’t have a clue what it’s like dealing with everything from cruel
innuendo to discrimination. I have witnessed many instances where a
plus size person enters a restaurant to enjoy a nice dinner with
family and friends, just to hear snickers, and rude comments from
onlookers. After a person experiences this a few times, it’s easy to
develop a complex that causes them to think that everyone who
glances their way is thinking the same hurtful things.
I recently spoke to another caller on Raqui’s Blog Talk
Radio Show who met a super-sized woman who he genuinely wanted to
have a friendship with, but she had been so shaken by the negative
experiences surrounding “size hate” that she couldn’t even trust
people and let her guard down enough to foster a friendship. It’s
like Raqui said, “When you allow people to speak anything into your
life, each negative word is like a rock that you have to carry with
you, The more you accept the heavier the load gets, it weighs you
down and prevents you from growing.”
Raqui's Blog Talk Radio Episode -
Sometimes the very words that have this stifling
effect on you come from the very people you love the most, under the
guise of caring words. The effort it takes to bounce back and heal
yourself are heroic at best. Once your self esteem reaches critical
lows it will take a lot of work to build yourself up. Fortunately,
there are many size-positive organizations, social groups, and media
out there that can expose you to a new way of thinking that will
help you shed the negative ideas from your mind. It’s time to dawn
your emotional and spiritual cape and be the hero you were meant to
be, leaping over the obstacles, and pitfalls, that people throw your
way. Be a shining example for all to see. Refusing to let the words
of others shape you, speaking boldly with the statements that define
who you are, a hero for all the world to see!
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