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LargeInCharge Magazine - Eight Years & Going Strong!

 Issue#100- July 2012

Welcome to LargeInCharge Magazine

In this Issue of L.I.C.




Words of Wisdom from the Heart & Mind of Raqui


Good 4 U Food  ~ Xander


The Big GB My Gastric Bypass Memoirs 

Soyna Bennett and Angie Bee


From the Desk of NAAFA

National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance


Fashion & Products with The WebGirl ~ Lucia Roth


Fattitude - Its a Fat way of Life ~ Pat Llewellyn


The BIG - Beautiful Inspirational Girl  ~ Ms Suga


Big Girl, Small World - Gabriela Falarz


Dating Survival for Today's Woman

Kathy Hernandez


The Observer - Jness


LargeInChargeDating - Dating for the Large People who are going to be in Charge of their Love Lives!


LargeInCharge Friends - The Place for Big People to make Friends and maybe MUCH MORE!

Large Sized Olympic Stars!

Large Sized Olympic Stars!

By: Raqui

In honor of our 100th Anniversary Edition of LargeInCharge Magazine we want to honor and give love to some amazing large sized people who have shown that there extra bulk (whether a little or a lot) is an not something that would stop them from not only setting goals and working hard.  But never giving up and taking there dream further and earning OLYMPIC STATUS!

They have trained, put there blood sweat and tears into there chosen sport, showing that those over single digits sizes can be physical super stars.  Lets give love to these amazing OLYMPIC CONTENDERS!

Aretha Thurmond competes during the women's discus throw finals at the U.S. Olympic Track and Field Trials Sunday, June 24, 2012, in Eugene, Ore.

(AP Photo/Matt Slocum) Photo: Associated Press / SA

Women’s Discus Throw
Reese Hoffa reacts after wining the men's shot put finals at the U.S. Olympic Track and Field Trials Sunday, June 24, 2012, in Eugene, Ore.

(AP Photo/Charlie Riedel) Photo: Associated Press / SA

Men's Shot
Jill Camarena-Williams won the women's shot put with a throw of 62 feet, 10 1/2 inches during Friday's U.S. Olympic track and field trials at Hayward Field in Eugene.

Women's Shot
Sarah Robles successfully snatches 114 kilograms during the 2012 U.S. Olympic Team Trials for Women's Weightlifting on March 4, 2012 in Columbus, Ohio.

Sarah Roble celebrates being named to the U.S. Women's Weightlifting Olympic Team during the 2012 U.S. Olympic Team Trials for Women's Weightlifting on March 4, 2012 in Columbus, Ohio.
Damon Kelly will represent Australia at the 2012 Olympic Games in London after
impressive performances at the final weightlifting selection trial.

For Queensland's Kelly, who travelled to the 2008 Olympics in Beijing, he is focused on
improving his performance in China.

"Beijing was a career highlight and a great experience," said Kelly, the 2010 gold
medallist in the 105kg+ division at the Commonwealth Games in New Delhi.

Kelly wants to lift 400kg for the clean and jerk, and snatch, after hoisting 397kg in New
Delhi, a Commonwealth Games record.

The younger sister of New York Jets Pro-Bowl center Nick Mangold, Holley is a contender in the superheavyweight division. At 330 pounds, she has never been self-conscious about her size. “I love my body,” she says. “I’ve always been confident…I always tell everyone, ‘thank God I wasn’t skinny.’ Because God knows how cocky and terrible I’d be.”

Holley Mangold celebrates being named to the U.S. Women's Weightlifting Olympic Team during the 2012 U.S. Olympic Team Trials for Women's Weightlifting on March 4, 2012 in Columbus, Ohio.




Featured Interview


Thank you for Reading The LargeInCharge Feature



  Amy Lucas!



Cover Model Interview What is your name?

My name is Amy Lucas. Where are you from and what is your current Location?

I am from Battle Creek, Michigan. Can you give us some information about yourself (Age, Height, Size, Nationality, Marital Status, Children, etc.)?

I am 34 year old single woman and I have no children. I am 5’6” and my size really varies. It depends on the style of clothing and where the clothes come from. I can really run the range of almost the entire plus size spectrum depending on that. Were you a big child, or did you gain weight later in life?

I have always been a big girl. In fact, I even had a tummy when I was in Kindergarten. (If you were a big child) how did you feel growing up as a large child?

It was difficult growing up as a big girl. I dealt with bullying when I was young and I was always the girl that was told that if I would lose weight I would be so pretty. However, I was always smart and good at school so I didn’t let my size affect my life. I was involved in everything after school and had good grades. I’ve never really had a low self-esteem because I always had value in being the girl who knew everything and got everything done. It did take me quite awhile after I got out of high school to realize that there are guys who like big girls. Who knew? After I realized that I could be both big and beautiful, I knew then that I needed to represent that title to the rest of the world so that they too would start to believe that. I hate when people still think that I must want to lose weight or that I want to be skinny. I’m good with who I am and I can look just as beautiful as any skinny chick. What made you decide to enter the LargeInCharge model search?

I thought well why not. The opportunity presented itself so I thought it would be interesting to try something new. Besides, we need more confident bigger women representing our community. Did you find it a hard journey to be accepted by others at your size?

I did as a kid yes, but I have always taken pride in being smart and a leader in getting things done so I knew my worth early on. Do you find it a hard to accept yourself as a Plus Sized Person?

I didn’t really have a problem with that. I have always felt like all you really have in life is yourself so you had better figure out how you are going to like you and be ok with who you are. People come and go but you will always have you. Do you find acceptance among your family and friends?

I do find acceptance among most of my friends and family. I wouldn’t really waste my time with people who wouldn’t as I don’t need that in my life. Obviously, there are some people you have to work with or deal with in life that are going to be close minded so you just have to stand up for yourself and deal with those people the best that you can. What would you say inspires you most in life?

There are lots of things that inspire me in life. I love to travel and experiencing different cultures. I feel so alive and loving life when I am able to take a tour of a foreign country. I also am inspired to help other plus size women be the best they can be by running a bbw (big beautiful women) fashion group on Facebook showcasing cute outfits in our size and different tutorials on how to make us look the best we can be. Lastly, I also think that bbw events have helped women connect and helped us to accept ourselves for who we are so that inspired me to start a Facebook group to help connect people to events in their areas. What is your primary occupation?

I am a certified educator and principal; however, due to circumstances I am currently a family caregiver. How did you get into this line of work?

I student taught Kindergarten when I was a senior in high school. When I went to college I wasn’t too sure of what direction I wanted to go in. I started in International Business and Spanish. I realized quickly that I did not enjoy business and always felt that connection to children so I decided to choose education. As my career has progressed through different jobs, I realized that I wanted to be a principal to help change schools for the better so I got my master’s degree in Central Office Administration so that I could do that or work in an administrative office making things better for our schools in the entire school district. Do you find acceptance in the work force?

For the most part I do feel that it hasn’t mattered too much in my job; however, when you work with children you also deal with how cruel they can be towards other overweight children. I felt like I was the spokesperson for being plus sized for them. I tried to help them deal with what they were going through and to give them someone they could go to when they couldn’t handle it. It’s been really sad at how overweight children are still treated today from both adults and other children. What changes do you believe should take place for Large People in the work force?

This question I think really pertains to your specific line of work. I don’t think many changes should be made in education, but anti-bullying legislation and a no tolerance policy may cut down on the bullying I help overweight students with. What do you think about the fashion industry for big sized clothing?

I think it’s definitely getting better. There are more options out there than before. Unfortunately for those above a size 24, your choices are usually limited to buying clothing only at a few stores in person. You usually wind up going online to buy on a website or through a catalog and that really needs to change. What do you wish to see change with the fashion industry?

I do wish that designers would realize that not all larger women have an hourglass figure. I think that there should be more designs to help mask a multitude of issues we struggle with and showcase ones we have. I’ve also noticed that for clothing over a size 24 the prices tend to go way up. There is not that much difference between a 24 and 26 yet the price can be dramatically different. What changes do you think will happen if plus sized modeling for men and women were to expand?

It would be nice to see someone who is on the larger ends of the spectrum especially when you are looking to shop for clothes. I hate looking at a skinny model in the dress I am looking to buy because I can’t get a good feel if that dress will look right on my shape or not. It would be easier to shop and find something to look good on me if we had larger models and models of different body shapes. People might be more apt to buy an item if it looks good on someone with their size and shape. Tell us some of the places you buy your clothing from.

I buy my clothing at One Stop Plus, Torrid, Lane Bryant, Fashion Bug, Deb, and Ebay. However, I am always looking for new places online because I am all about trying to find something cute that’s right for my shape. Tell us one of your secret beauty tips.

To keep your lipstick on, apply lip liner and then your lipstick. After that, put facial powder all over your lips and then put another coat of lipstick overtop. Finally blot with a tissue. The powder keeps your lips dryer which keeps the lipstick on longer and not on your teeth. Give us some tips on how to have a successful Photo shoot. What should models be prepared for?

You should have some poses in mind that you think you look cute in. Try on everything they put you in as you never know what will look good on you. Show off your self confidence and rock it. Look at Size acceptance five years ago... look at size acceptance now. What changes do you see?

I see the acceptance movement getting larger and women accepting themselves more for who they are. I also think the movement is helping to change ideas about beauty and who can be beautiful. What changes do you think will happen five years from now with size acceptance?

I think the movement will get even larger with more bbw clubs and events popping up all over the country. However, I do think it would be nice to see this movement go into smaller communities that have never heard of the term bbw nor about bbw dances. Do you face discrimination in your daily life as a Plus Sized Person?

Occasionally I do experience discrimination. I remember wearing a shirt that said big and beautiful and getting quite a few nasty glares from people, but that’s exactly why I do that. People need to see these messages and realize that how they have been treating a bigger person hasn’t always been great. It’s about fighting back for my right to be treated equally and decently, as well as, showing other plus size women that message too. I have also experienced it in stores that don’t carry my size but I might happen to like their perfume or accessories. I may get strange stares and not get approached much there by staff. Lastly, I think the airline discrimination is probably the worst kind there is. Something really needs to be done about this airline stuff as it seems to encourage people to discriminate against bigger people even further. It really makes you not want to fly and I can see why many feel like they are stuck at home not wanting to deal with all the embarrassment and harassment they receive trying to travel. Tell us about your goals as far as modeling and other interests.

I hope that my modeling will help other plus size women with my size and shape realize their beauty too. I also hope it encourages them to try new things like I am doing here and give them the self-esteem to be the best they can be. What have you accomplished as a Plus Sized Model?

As a model, I haven’t done a lot of modeling. I enjoy it but it’s not my career. I’ve done some local fashion shows and I won Ms. LBC 2008 in Chicago. Have you entered or won any Contests, Pageants or Awards? What was the experience like?

I entered the Ms. LBC (Linda’s Big Connections) pageant in October of 2007 for the Ms. LBC 2008 title. The experience overall was great. It was great to see so many talented beautiful women representing our community in such a positive light. I did science experiments for my talent and had to answer a question. To my surprise, I won! Can you tell us about an inspirational moment in your life that made you feel good about your size.

I had a student that really felt like an outcast and her family didn’t know where to buy plus size clothes so she was wearing boy’s clothing and getting bullied in every class. She was in a fight almost everyday trying to fight for her right to just be her. I took her under my wing and tried to get her to understand that teen years are hard and things will change once she gets older. I gave her all my old clothes and told her family where to purchase clothing her size. I was able to work with her so that she could start passing her classes and I provided a no tolerance environment for bullying in my classroom for her to thrive and succeed again. I felt good that I was able to help show another person that I can look good at my size and so can she and help her through some tough moments. Is there a person in your life that keeps you going?

I would have to say that is me. Everyone has a bad day once in awhile you just have to pick yourself up and start again tomorrow. You are all you have so take care of yourself and learn how to pick yourself up again. What advice would you give to other people of size who want to model?

Take lots of pictures as you never know when you are going to wind up with a great photo. Know how to work your body at your size and shape. Learn how to dress to flatter your shape and make you look the best you can be. What plus size figure do you most admire?

I don’t admire too many people as I feel people have to earn their way to be admired. I would have to say I admire Oprah (a former bbw) as she has made the difference in the lives of so many people. She made her struggle to be happy with who she and with her weight an open discussion among people and let them know that they are not alone. Describe yourself with one word.




Thanks for reading about our

Cover Model of the Month



     Raqui the Owner and Founder of, Raqui's  "Tell it like it is" style of writing has brought thousands to her blogs and millions to  There is so much behind the woman who has brought this magazine into existence.  Being Internationally known as a wrestler/squasher lead the way to modeling for companies and being featured in magazines and documentaries from all over the world.  She has made a career out of her size and personality. Born, Raised in the Bronx NYC. This city girl is taking the world by storm.


     For the past 8 years Raqui officially moved into Size Acceptance and Empowerment.  With the creation of LargeInCharge she took what she said to individuals to a higher level and made it public to the internet world. She is a woman who doesn't let things get to her.  Knock her down for the moment but she will rise up stronger and better.  Being a speaker on behalf of many subjects and counseling Plus Sized people online her grace and style has made people love her.  Raqui continues to set an example of a powerful woman who will bend the world to fit her, her way.


     Raqui's appearances include, Uk Television, German TV, Japan, Europe, Sweden and the Spanish circuit.  Her many magazines appearances have been world wide.  She has hit American Television in 2006 with Good Morning American and since has appeared on The Cristina Show,  The Maury Show and The Tyra Banks Show.

To view her Online portfolio visit

Raqui's New Blog titled Raqui-ism "Soulfully Speaking! -

 Raqui Host's Seminar at 16th Annual Vegas Bash 2012

go to Portfolio Section

Raqui-ism - Death by Hospital - Back by Request

Written By: Raqui


It was Monday April 27th 2009 when my so called stubborn big mouth saved my life.  Saturday April 25th I arrived at the Emergency Room in so much pain I wanted to die.  Death would have been relief after eleven hours of horrible pain. 


     Since eight am that morning I had pain in the center of my chest leading under my ribs.  I thought at first it was gas and tried all the normal things people would do to relieve it.   Alka-Seltzer's,  Gas X,  Maalox, Hot Tea, Ginger ale,  My mother and good friend both rubbed my back and ribs trying to release the gas I believed was trapped.  I had to get to the hospital while I could still walk and get into the ambulance.  911 was called and very soon I was on my way.


     At the Emergency Room I went through Doctor's looking at me as though I was RETARDED when I told them I have no health problems.  I repeated to at least 20 people that I DID NOT have, Diabetes, High Cholesterol,  High Blood Pressure... etc etc etc.  Blood tests confirmed all of this to their amazement,  I mean how could a big ole fat woman like me not have ONE HEALTH PROBLEM?  It was a mystery.  This prejudice almost cost me my life as you will see.


     After many tests that came out completely normal,  EKG,  Sonograms to my groin to detect blood clots,  Chest x rays for my lungs,  Finally they did a sonogram to the area that hurt!  They found the small tube from the gallbladder to my stomach was dilated and a stomach specialist was called in.  The Stomach Specialist told me he didn't believe that it was my gallbladder,  he said there is something going on in your stomach and we have to check,  it could be an ulcer.  Since the Hospital I was in didn't have a large enough Cat Scan Machine,  I would have to have a camera enter my body through my mouth and go down into my stomach.  And I would have to be put to sleep to do it.  I was admitted early Sunday Morning on the 26th and finally after three morphine shots the pain began to subside.


Bruises from Heparin shots to my upper arms


     I spent Sunday on a liquid diet waiting for my procedure on Monday.  My chest was very sore and I felt so tired,  Again more blood was taken and I was being given IV antibiotics and heparin shots (a blood thinner) I am not sure why but I was told it is mandatory.  They stabbed my arms so viciously trying to get through my fat (I ASSUME) that I was left with knots and bruises on my upper arms.


     Monday morning I had to face anesthesia and I was nervous about it.  But I cant complain about the camera procedure that went completely well it is what happen afterward that almost cost me my life.  Many doctors consulted with me and I was told that my stomach itself was inflamed and making to much acid.  That was the root of the problem and my pain.  I was then put on medication to control stomach acid.


     Here is where the big mouth I have saved me.  Monday afternoon they are preparing me to leave the hospital as long as I can keep a meal down.  Final blood had to be drawn to double check everything and while I wasn't happy about it I let them take it.  They came back to me saying that my Sugar level was sky high...


What do you mean... How high?   I asked


Why didn't you say your Diabetic?  the woman who took my blood asked.


I'm not Diabetic...   I don't have high sugar.  I said matter of factly.


Well with your weight you know....  


I cut her off immediately and said.   Listen I know I am not Diabetic...  I have a doctor I go to and have never been pronounced with Diabetes.  I just went to her last month, and my tests are clear!  For the past two days I have been getting blood tests and they are all normal so don't tell me that now I have suddenly become Diabetic!


It could be because of the procedure,  your weight,  You cannot leave until your Sugar is normal so we have to medicate you and bring it down.


NO... Take it again!  Take my blood again!  I said.


     I refused the medication and put my foot down to have my blood taken again.  The woman who took my blood then re-entered and asked me.  


Where did I take your blood from?   Your right it doesn't make sense that your sugar is suddenly high.


     I then showed my arm to her and the vein she removed the blood from.


OH I HAVE TO TAKE YOUR BLOOD AGAIN!!! she exclaimed.   You have a I.V. in that arm and that could make the test inaccurate.  I will be right back to take your blood again!


Bruises from having my blood taken improperly three collapsed veins


   After she poked me to no avail three times, making me bleed all over my gown, and left me horrible bruises she got another person to come take my blood and once it was tested I got a clean bill of health with out HIGH SUGAR!!!  With out that medication they were so ready to pump into my body.


     It wasn't until I got home and the next day that I told my brother about it did he say.  They could have killed you!.  If they would have put that medication into you, you would have gone into a Diabetic Coma and quite possibly have died.   If anyone would have found out that she took blood out of that vein she would have lost her job.   And of course since I am a big fat woman it would have been easy for them to cover it up.


     Right now I could be in a freezer somewhere pronounced with Diabetes instead of the true reason!  DEATH BY HOSPITAL!!!    The automatic assumption that I was a diabetic no matter of my records and medical history is terrible.  The fact that many in the medical field believe that every person of size must have a health problem is horrific.  It seems as though they were waiting for one test to come out badly so they have a reason to preach gastric bypass and pump medicine into my body to try and set me right!  Show me how wrong I am about not having health problems.  But my big mouth and persistent claims made them think it through when they should have thought it through from the beginning.  Maybe they should have people who obviously know how to take blood properly.  After taking my blood from the wrong arm and then making three veins on the other arm collapse I would say she needs to get recertified.  At least she listened to my claims of course they were done with a loud determined voice that demands attention.


     Could this have happened to anyone?  Yes it could have...  But I believe that those taking care of me leaned more toward something wrong with me.  Than something wrong with them, because in their eyes I am a Big Fat Woman one step away from a medical nightmare!  All people (especially Plus Sized)  have to be our own advocates.  KNOWLEDGE IS POWER,  Have a regular doctor and know your what your blood tests mean.  Have a medical history on record and have physicals.  Ask questions, demand retesting if necessary, I AM SCARED TO DEATH OF NEEDLES but that didn't stop me from getting them to take my blood again.  Doctor's, Nurses and other Patient Care Service Workers have a sense of authority because they are supposed to be dedicated to your health and well being.  But many of them are not qualified because they have prejudices that make them point toward you first instead of assessing the situation properly.  We also listen to them because of that Authority.  If I would have listened to them before myself, and let them medicate me.  I probably would not be writing this article today.


 Your Health is your responsibility,  with out knowledge you cant make a proper decision and fight for your rights.  It is your Life... Cherish it.


With Love Raqui


LargeInCharge Radio - Weekly Radio show discussing Plus Sized Issues.  Friday's 7-9 pm EST - Call in & Chat in our Chat Room.


Thank you for Reading Raqui-ism

Please send thoughts and comments to



     Xander brings blend of life experience and culinary twist to his writing. From cooking on television and live demonstrations, to writing Xander cook’s like he feels. A former Chicago native transplanted to Tennessee, His goal has been to experience the fullness of food heritage. He believes that as a people and society, can learn a lot from what we eat. Combining a great life lesson and a easy recipe.  They go hand-in-hand to provide a tasty addition to your day. Xander has to confess that ingredients in a great meal are like the ingredients in a great life are never far apart.



A Gun to Your Head

by Xander The Food Dude


There are times in your life when frankly, you're just not motivated to complete anything.  You don't want to do anything because nothing seems important.  Survival from day to day is simply the best you can achieve.  In those down times, you really go down into levels where the brain loses what little focus it has and the most involved you want to be is likened to a vegetable in front of the television before eventually going to sleep from exhaustion.  It's at times like these when our humanity is most questioned because all we feel is dead inside.  There are no hopes, no dreams, no aspirations, other than to just hold on for another day, if we were to die then that would be alright, because at least the fighting for survival would be over.


I've thought that way a lot in the last few months.  I have resigned my self on various occasions that the fight is too much for me and I would welcome death.  Let me clarify, I am no suicidal.  I don't want to hurry myself of this mortal coil; I can't seem to get in mind what would be so bad.  Survival is too hard.


I have recently read and article that recounts a scene from "Fight Club" where Brad Pitts character holds a gun to a clerks head finding our what a terrible basic life the clerks has.  Pitts character asks the clerk, "What was your dream”?  Eventually the clerk confesses that he wanted to be a veterinarian.  Pitt's character then says, "I know who you are and where you live.  If you aren't in the process of becoming a veterinarian in six week, you'll be dead."  He then tells the clerk to run home.  No matter how hard we try, sometimes the element of change we seek can only be achieved when a gun is put at our head.  While in the example it was literal, but I'm thinking more figurative.


An example of this is a man who needs to change his lifestyle, only to finally change it after the second or third heart attack.  Change is thought to be all about willpower, but creating change isn’t really about willpower.  Willpower works for a while.  But eventually, if at the deepest level you associate more pain to changing than you do pleasure, then the change is not going to last (even when you know it’s what’s good for you).


This is when you need someone to hold a gun to your head.  This is a new way to change.


Willpower is old school.  It’s a brute force approach that rarely works.  The smart way to change is with leverage — recognizing your own fallibility and taking an action now that makes it inevitable that you change in the future.


Buying an alarm clock without a snooze button is a simple example.  You know that when 6 a.m. rolls around, getting up early won’t seem like nearly as good an idea as it does now.  So by taking this action now and making things rough on your future self, you’re actually helping yourself to make a better decision when push comes to shove.


When you sign up for a marathon before you’ve trained for it, you’re doing the same thing.  Investing money, even just the 100 bucks to register for the race, changes the game.  Now, when you feel like eating a donut instead of going for your run, all of a sudden it’s not quite so easy to be content in your laziness.  Now your money is at stake, as well as the feelings of guilt and foolishness that we associate with wasting money.  And as a result, you run.


What about when the action isn’t so obvious?


The alarm clock example is easy.  But what if it’s losing weight that’s your goal?  Or any of a mess of other things where there’s no obvious action you can take now to make success in the future inevitable?


The point it to make the process of change less painful, than that of not changing.  Whether its by good or bad circumstance that we all need to make large changes in our lives, I wish you all the best with who, what, where, and when that change must be made.




Xander's Recipe of the Month

Amish Breakfast Casserole

As comforting a food as you'll ever have.  Make for a family breakfast.  It will bring them back to the table again and again and again…..





    1 pound sliced bacon, diced

    1 medium sweet onion, chopped

    6 eggs, lightly beaten

    4 cups frozen shredded hash brown potatoes, thawed

    2 cups shredded Cheddar cheese

    1 1/2 cups small curd cottage cheese

    1 1/4 cups shredded Swiss cheese




    In a large skillet, cook bacon and onion until bacon is crisp; drain. In a bowl, combine the remaining ingredients; stir in bacon mixture. Transfer to a greased 13-in. x 9-in. x 2-in. baking dish.

    Bake, uncovered, at 350 degrees F for 35-40 minutes, or until set and bubbly. Let stand for 10 minutes before cutting.



Thank you for Reading Good Food 4U

By Xander the Food Dude

Please send thoughts and comments to


Angie BEE grew-up a standard-sized young woman, educated in communications, promotions and planning.  She became a wife, mother and ministry support member while building businesses and her faith.

Through stress, age and a poor diet and while suffering from major depression and attempted suicide, Angie BEE's weight climbed from 180 pounds to 360 pounds.  She was diagnosed with high blood pressure, diabetes, obstructive sleep apnea, an overactive bladder and poor leg circulation.  At the age of 40 an anxiety attack and the decline in her mental health forced her to stop work and look at improving her declining health.  It was during this time that Angie BEE became inspired by her younger sister Sonya Bennett during her process towards Gastric Bypass Surgery.  Sonya launched this column and will return occasionally to contribute to it, but now that she is three years-post surgery... her life is focused on something new!

Now, celebrating her first year of a new life since having the procedure herself, Angie BEE is healthier than she has been in over a decade.  Losing the first 100 pounds was just the bonus!  She is now diabetes-free.  She has normal blood pressure.  The circulation in her legs is normal.  She sleeps without a c-pap machine and more!  The joy that she feels is documented each day in her syndicated radio show, a brand new weekly  TV show documentary and each month in this article.  The Big GB stands for The BIG Gastric Bypass and it also stands for "Getting (my life) Back".  This article reflects how Angie BEE's life has improved... by the grace of God and as the result of having Gastric Bypass surgery on Feb 28, 2011.  This is now her life!


Getting “Busy” after Bypass

with Angie Bee



Earlier this year, I went with a friend to see the movie “Think Like a Man” based upon the book written by Steve Harvey.  There was a character in the movie that wanted to wait a significant length of time before having sex with her boyfriend.  One of the tricks that she used to keep herself in check was that she wore her “Granny Panties” on each date; the raggedy, torn and unsexy panties that she didn’t want him to see.  Well, that trick worked for the most part!

Last night, I went on a first date with a man that my sister introduced me to.  Before he arrived to meet me, I thought about putting on my granny panties but then I remembered what my post-bypass surgery body looked like.  That was the only deterrent that I needed!  “How can I ever get naked in front of a man again?” I asked myself.  Look at all of this loose, hanging skin!

Yes, I know that a tummy tuck and a breast lift are in order right about now.  I have lost nearly 190 pounds since my weight loss surgery in February 2011.  Not even the tightest girdle can hold in this skin that’s laying on my hips and middle and when that girdle is off, one could get a concussion under all this mess!  In the beginning of this journey, I just figured that a good bra would keep the ‘Wonder Twins’ upright and standing at attention and I wouldn’t need a breast lift, but last night when those soft, brown eyes smiled at me from my blind date, all I could think of was that my nipples could actually touch my navel.

How do you get busy after bypass surgery?  I asked my friend Dorie, “What is sex like for you after bypass?”  Dorie has been in a committed relationship now for years, and I really wanted to know how things were for the two of them.  “Girl, I get more sex now than before! (lmfao) but the loose skin is an issue for me.  I feel like it gets in the way”.  She continued to say “Boobs sagging, belly hanging but it is what it is; I feel sexier now that I am smaller, but was more comfy in a big body --  boobs were firmer, but you trade firm boobs for the healthier heart.”

My darling sister is now four years post surgery.  She never had the boob lift procedure and during her exploration into the tummy tuck procedure, she discovered that she was expecting her first child (shout out to my darling niece!).  I guess that the sagging skin didn’t stop my sister from getting busy so there is hope for me yet!

A healthier heart: WOW -- that’s what I’m talking ‘bout!  Just because this man was SUPER FINE and treated me like I was a Queen during our night out doesn’t mean that I had to jump his bones on the first date! I know that I am healthier than I have been in years and I admit that my sex drive is screaming louder than ever but I am grateful that the skin hanging off my body was a chaperone for me that kept me in check and stopped me from flirting with him.   In the long run, this loose skin reminded me that I want a healthier heart.  I want to be in a loving relationship and not just a one-night stand.  I want to know that when I do decide to get busy after bypass surgery, it will be with a man that will see me for me; even past the loose skin and the jiggle of my curves.  At least, I hope so! LOL


BEE Blessed, Fam


Angie BEE

Author, Magazine Publisher, Producer, Promoter &

The Host of The Hottest Home Hotspot WORLDWIDE

Syndicated Holy Hip Hop Radio Show

Last Week I wanted to Die!




Thanks for reading

The Big GB - My Gastric Bypass Memoirs

Sonya's Links:

Sonya Bennett on Facebook

     Founded in 1969, NAAFA is a non-profit civil rights organization dedicated to improving the quality of life for fat people. NAAFA works to eliminate discrimination based on body size and provide fat people with the tools for self-empowerment through public education, advocacy, and member support.


     This Column is dedicated to the tremendous work NAAFA has been doing for over four decades.  LargeInCharge wishes to support NAAFA in spreading the word of its work, and give the public more information into issues we as plus sized people should be aware of.  The fight for equality for people of all sizes is one we support.


     This Column will include News Releases and Calls to Action from NAAFA Directors.


This Column has been Approved by


NAAFA Develops Guidelines for Fitness Professionals



NAAFA supports the philosophy that physical activity benefits all body sizes and can be delivered and enjoyed free of size bias and judgment. To that end, NAAFA has partnered with veteran fitness expert Cinder Ernst to create guidelines for fitness professionals who serve or have interest in serving fat clients, using a weight-neutral and body positive approach.


“It is our goal to assist fitness professionals in thinking beyond the traditional dogma of exercising to lose weight or to reach a number on a scale.  Instead, to focus more on a health-centered approach to the overall well-being of their fat clients”, states Lisa Tealer, NAAFA’s Director of Programs, former aerobics instructor and health club owner.


The guidelines challenge the fitness professional to learn more about size discrimination and the impact it has on the health of fat people and to consider other benefits of movement.  They include tips on exercise modifications, use of language and equipment.  It also lists additional resources, including journal articles, books and websites. The guidelines are available as a free download from the NAAFA website at: 


NAAFA (in partnership with leading experts) has created Guidelines for Therapists, Health Care Providers and Travel Tips. These free downloadable documents are also available from the NAAFA’s website at







NAAFA Convention!

NAAFA is pleased to announce that we will return to the San Francisco Bay Area for our 2012 fund-raising convention.  We have worked hard to keep the cost of this convention down and to move quickly in making our convention package available in time for you to give or receive a convention package for the holidays!  

NAAFA is once again offering a Early Bird Special price is $199.00 from January 1 through May 31, 2012.   Beginning June 1, 2012, full convention price will be $265.00. 

The 2012 NAAFA Convention Package would make a great holiday gift for you, your family and all your friends!  Can’t afford a convention package?  Why not give a one year contributing NAAFA membership for only $15.00? 

Make your reservations at the Westin San Francisco Airport Hotel. Room rates are $89 per night!   This group rate will be available until July 10, 2012.  Westin is prepared to receive your NAAFA convention reservations today at:

We encourage you to register for the NAAFA convention package today and to fully participate in this life-changing event.  We made it easy for you to register for the convention as well as the hotel through our website at  Watch our website for more exciting details as they become available.

Founded in 1969, NAAFA is a non-profit human rights organization dedicated to improving the quality of life for fat people.  NAAFA works to eliminate discrimination based on body size and provide fat people with the tools for self-empowerment through public education, advocacy, and member support.

On the web:



Thanks for reading

From the Desk of NAAFA



Our WebGirl Lucia Roth, was born in New Orleans, Louisiana. Graduated with a B. A. degree in Communication from Southeastern Louisiana University and is considering going back for her Masters degree. Lucia a people person and is always willing to help out a friend in need. She enjoys music, movies, poetry, and good book on a rainy day. Lucia has several mottos about life.

This is one: Knowledge talks, wisdom listens.


I just wanted to re- introduce myself, since I just joined Large In Charge magazine last year. My name is Lulu, and I am a fashion writer for I am a fashion junkie:) I look forward to finding wonderful fashion find and product of the month for you. I also look forward to chatting with you all an reading some good fashion comments! Please let me know if you have a favorite.



The WebGirl Picks of the Month

Fashion Find Product of the Month

Fashion Find


Fashion Find Type: All Fashion Styles


Sale Price 80% off Clearances Sale - prices varies


We also talked about how clothes fit on “everyday” fat bodies. But Romans has some gorgeous styles that can fit the short to the very tall. So, come and shop the sale at Roamans something for everyone.




Product of the Month

Recommended by: Raqui

Name of Product: Wrap With Us Wedding Products

Type of Product:  Wedding Favors, Accessories and gifts for all occsaions

Where Product can be found:


Description:  15% off sale for a limited time.  An all inclusive wedding accessory store (online) with lots of options, including themes and religious items.  They also have items for Baby Showers, Sweet 16, Bridal Shower, Religious occasions (different denominations) and a section that includes OTHER special occasions such as Birthday, Graduation, Sweet 15 "Quincinearea" (Spanish version of Sweet 16) and Wedding Anniversary



Pat is a forty something woman living in Southern Ontario, Canada. She has a varied past and has worked teaching literacy and English as a second language to adults, as an environmental science technician and in the health and safety field. Currently she works in marketing.

Pat fiercely believes in human rights for all and has volunteered for organizations that raise funds and develop and implement programs to help impoverished people and educate women in third world countries. Although relatively new to the size acceptance movement, Pat believes with all her heart that people of size deserve equal treatment and respect.

In her spare time she likes to read fiction, go to bashes and spend time with friends.


Living and Breathing

with Pat Llewellyn


When I signed up for this e-zine I was given the task to write inspirational columns. At the moment, I really don't think I'm capable of being inspirational or writing inspirational stuff. What I can talk about is depression. (Yes, another column about my illness.) Right now I'm living and breathing it. It consumes me. I'm fighting back, but it is tough.

After my last column, Raqui asked me to write about my illness & the difficulties being a larger person brings to the table. In my head I balked at this idea. I've tried looking at it from this perspective & will continue to do so over the next while.

What I can tell you is that for the most part I think I've been treated fairly by the medical community. My family doctor has been incredible. He's been very supportive, made me a priority & has even called me at home during the evening & on the weekend to check on me.

I've recently started a treatment program referred to me by & paid by my insurance company. I feel lucky that I'm getting the additional support, but I'm getting annoyed by my case worker & my therapist. My case worker is insisting that I walk every day. Exercise increases endorphins & creates a physical release for stress. I'm fine with doing exercise, but the walking bores me & it's painful. Last week my worker & I went for a walk together. She pushed me & we doubled the time I normally walk. The next day my knee was swollen & very painful. My back had completely seized up on me. While exercise is good for me mentally & physically, I need people to respect that my physical capabilities need to be considered. My fat body has been neglected (I can admit it) & I need to slowly build up tolerance to exercising it.

It's a struggle to do anything, but to do something that you find boring & causes you pain makes it seem daunting.

My therapist has been driving me a little crazy. During our third session she asked me if I had ever exercised in my life. I was so annoyed. I may be fat, but come on... Now whenever she asks about my exercise or diet I feel defensive & get angry. Not a great relationship to have with your therapist.

While I initially didn't think I could write from this perspective, I think the idea has merit. I hope to share more about this with you in future columns.

I apologize if my thoughts seem scattered or disjointed. It's a bit hard to keep things flowing smoothly right now.

Much love!



     Ms Suga is a plus size woman hailing from Sunny South Florida. She is a 24 year old recent recipient of a Bachelor in Arts degree in Communication Studies. Being plus size for the majority of her life she has overcome many obstacles to finally come to the point where she is fully content with herself and her life. This self love has also allowed Ms Suga the privilege of sharing her love with those around her. She is very passionate about life and loves to help others.

     Ms Suga likes to see herself as the one everyone can go to for positive, inspirational and truthful words of advice and/or support. She is the Beautiful Inspirational Girl that is blessed, intellectual, trustworthy, caring and hardworking.

     Ms Suga has had a passion for writing since she was a little girl when she used to think of short stories about what her life would be like as she got older. This is Ms Suga’s first opportunity for her thoughts to be public for the world to see. Excited about this column Ms Suga is also very optimistic of her future in writing and promoting self love and acceptance in the plus size community.


Sharing is Caring

with Ms Suga


Ok, so since I've been unemployed I have become a TV show junkie. Reality shows, medical shows and even some sitcoms; you name it I've probably watched at least an episode of it. Any who one of my new favorite shows is Extreme Couponing...I know I know WTF Ms. Suga... Extreme Couponing? Yes dammit I like it! The checkout part is so exciting to me! Just watching the prices go from $500, $600, $700 and up to less than $20.00. It's insane how everyday people are able to feed their households for damn near free on a regular basis. Makes me want to do it too sometimes...well maybe not that often LoL. But my point is it’s exciting and apparently addictive to the people involved.

And the stock piles are absolutely ridiculous! They have enough groceries in their homes to start a store of their own. That's the only thing that bothers me. They have so much of everything that it seems nearly impossible that they will use every item in their life time. One teenager did extreme couponing to pay back the people that let him live with them as well as his parents who were struggling to pay their bills. And another young man was couponing to have a party for his fraternity house. It might not be the ideal reason but at least they aren't piling food in their homes and using the food as a gym like this one lady did.

So why are we talking about extreme couponing Ms. Suga? I'm so glad you asked. Like those the extreme couponers, every one of us has an abundance of something in our stock pile that we probably won’t be able to use all of it for just ourselves and those closest to us. Yes it's great to provide for those you love but I'll tell you what's even better...helping those who need help.

Now I don't mean just physical or financial stock piles, you can help people by giving your time and attention. Now you don't have to give me the -_- face I am so serious about this. Think about all those clothes in your closet that are either too small or you'll never wear them; they can go to someone who can't afford to buy new clothes. Those canned goods that have been in your cabinets for months, donate them to a food kitchen or a church that feeds the homeless. Have a lot of time on your hands? Volunteer to visit a nursing home a few hours a week. Sign up to be a Big Brother/Big Sister that’ll definitely give you something to do. If nothing else you will feel a sense of pride in knowing you were able to help out and not sit around with an over filled stock pile and nothing to do with it.

I encourage you to try it. I'm always willing to help someone. I volunteered in a small family owned restaurant for months and made a few good friends. It took my mind off the sadness of being unemployed and made me feel good that I was helping someone else. I even learned some new recipes ;-).  I'm not saying give up everything you have mentally, emotionally and financially but I encourage you to try something different. Remember what the teachers told you in grade school "Sharing is Caring." Until next time loves, hope you all are enjoying your summer. I sure am.


~Ms. Suga~




Gabriela Falarz lives in Toronto, Canada. She has been up and down the scale for most of her life (mostly up), and is proud to say that she loves herself no matter what her size, although it has definitely been an evolution.


She blogs about size acceptance in her blog, Celebreight Yourself (  Gabriela discovered Large in Charge Radio about a year ago and has been hooked ever since. She is thrilled to be writing for Large in Charge and to be part of an organization that helps all large people realize how beautiful, special, and amazing they are.


Undercover at the Beach

with Gabriela Falarz




Summer is here and you know what that means … hot weather, less clothes, and the beach.


I went to the beach the other day and I have to admit … I do get a little on edge when I am at a pool or the beach. I wear my bathing suit and I do go swimming, but I definitely try not to draw attention to myself. I wear a one-piece, for one thing, not a bikini (no matter how much my husband wishes I would), because no matter how much I love myself I am not the kind of woman who’d feel comfortable parading myself in a string bikini just anywhere, around just anyone. I think I would feel this way even if I were thin.


However, the other day, I saw something that made me sad. Actually, it was someone … a large woman. She was at the same beach as me -- a small beach, not a large one (that’s why we like it there, for the peace and quiet). I’m guessing she was in her 30s, and she was with a bunch of people: an older couple that looked like the parents, two other women around her age who possibly could have been sisters or other female relatives, and a few young children who belonged to the other women. One of the other women was a little chunky , the other was quite thin.


Anyway, what made me sad was that this large woman was covered from head to toe. Well, not toes, because she was wearing Capri-length pants, but you know what I mean. She was wearing a loose, floppy T-shirt and pants, even though it was close to 100 degrees outside. Everyone else was in their bathing suits or shorts, but she was all covered up.


I have seen many other large women cover themselves like this at the beach, and even smaller ones … and it always makes me feel bad for them. Like I said, I’m not the kind of woman who feels comfortable displaying my body at the beach either, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to wear long pants and a huge T-shirt to cover myself. I’m certainly not going to deprive myself of swimming, which I love and have been enjoying since I was a kid. If the dreaded occurrence takes place and some ignorant fool decides to critique my body, I’ll be more than ready to deal with it, but there is no way I’m going to deprive myself of the pleasure of summer sun and breeze on my skin because of the fear of it possibly happening.


I understand the fear, though. And I’m angry that some large people have been made to feel so ashamed of their bodies that it exists. The beach isn’t just for thin people. It’s for everyone. The fact that some fat people feel un-entitled to enjoy it makes me sad … and angry.




Kathy is originally from a small town in Michigan but has lived in San Diego County since she's been 18 years old.  Kathy graduated from San Diego State University with a Bachelors in Finance in 1999.   She has a real estate broker’s license and works as a mortgage banker.  


Kathy also owns BBW Club Catalina in San Diego which has monthly night club parties and other fun events on a frequent basis.  Kathy has been an avid supporter of NAAFA, Vegas BBW Bash and San Diego BBW Bash and believes in size acceptance and health at every size.  


Kathy is a firm believer that people need to have a full life by going to the movies, dinner, bowling, dancing and anything that will make them a happier person and not wait til they are at the perfect size to start living their life to the fullest. 


Kathy is in her mid-40's and her children are grown and living productively on their own.   In her spare time she likes trying new restaurants, dancing, modeling, bowling and spending time with family and friends.



Dating the married man…  Why would you do that?

 with Kathy Hernandez



Pretty much everyone has a friend who has dated a married man and a few of us out there have also dated a married man whether we knew it or not.  I have watched a few of my friends who have dated married men go through all kinds of drama, insecurity, mistrust and being lonely because they couldn't be with the man they were dating when they wanted him because he belonged to someone else already.   Let's talk about the holidays like Christmas, Easter, New Year's and Halloween to start with because these are the major holidays that we want to be with our loved ones and these are also the major holidays that the married man is with his nuclear family.   I'm going to start with the reasons I have not to date a married man.


1.  If he's unfaithful to his wife now, he will do it to me later

2.  I would have to hide my love and relationship because he couldn't risk people finding out

3.  I would have to settle for time when he could get away from his family...  I'm not into sneaking around with anybody

4.  Spending holidays alone and not having my own husband and family would be depressing

5.  I don't like being second best to another woman, if I'm not enough for a man than he's not the man for me

6.  Think about all the lies the married man has to tell just to keep the truth coming out about him cheating on his life... I want an honest man

7.  Does this man really love his family and kids if he's willing to lose them over having an affair?


I've had girlfriends who date married man for reasons that I just can't agree with such as:


1.  I don't want a full time man and just want a part time man

2.  He buys me jewelry, clothing and takes me out to expensive restaurants

3.  I don't have to nag him to do anything like take out the trash or cook him dinner or do his laundry

4.  We don't see each other that often so when we do it's so romantic and special

5.  I'm not ready for a real relationship so getting the romance, gifts and sex is enough for now

6.  If his wife isn't taking care of him than that's not my fault that I am

7.  I don't want to have kids so why does it matter if I'm with a married guy or a single guy


I guess you have to figure out what makes you happy in life and if you can be happy with someone making you his mistress and not his wife than to each their own.  I have found that different people require very different things in order to be happy and you have to be true to yourself to make sure that you have what you want in this life.   I think that you need to make sure that you aren't just thinking of yourself but think about the children, the wife and anyone else that your decision would affect when you think it's alright to date a married man.





Celebrating almost 2 decades as a Graphic Designer/Published Illustrator, Jean Nerestant Jr (Jness) got his start as a graphic artist in 1994, Still working as a graphic designer by day/ Jness devotes time to his hip hop Culture, comic book art and Plus size/BBW Art.




with Jness


Does being skinny pay at the workplace? I am sad to report that it seems like it does. Even though we are all very aware of size discrimination and it’s practices, I admit it leaves a bad taste when statistics prove the point, and stress it in such a staggering way. I recently read an article

( that noted the stats I am referring to. As proven time and time again various types of injustices exist everyday and in every arena, and as long as they are carried out within the lines of general practice they go unnoticed, and unchallenged. Fortunately, there are other ways to detect trends that shine light on these practices.


“A recent study led by Timothy Judge at the University of Florida revealed that overweight women in the US earn $13, 847 less than average in contrast to women who are underweight and earned $15, 572 more than average.” The study also revealed “employers seem to subscribe to stereotypes that cause women of size to be judged more harshly than their leaner counterparts at the workplace.”


So once again it seems that your qualifications may get you through the door landing the job you have always wanted, but the way you look can affect the bottom line in the end. Bare in mind that I didn’t point this out to make my readers feel frantic or feel like all hope is lost. I am highlighting this in order to add clarity to the situation you are up against, and hopefully offer some tips to help turn the tables in your favor.


Often we forget that the views of others no matter how skewed can affect our situations. There is no way to control or alter the thought processes of others, but what we do have control over is ourselves. We should never lose sight of that, even if it looks grim. When people make comments that are size-discrimination driven, they give you an opportunity to revisit your professional strategies. It is crucial that you strive diligently to be the best at your profession and always work to learn more technical knowledge about what you do. Not only is the work place extremely competitive as it is, clearly there are other challenges working against you in the background. Always work on yourself, keep your professional arsenal fresh and up to date. Always think of new ways to give yourself an edge over the competition.


What you learn and how you apply it will always give you the skill-set that can’t be denied. Build yourself up, take responsibility for your professional portfolio. There are books out there that can help you do your job more effectively. Pick- up a few books and see if any new information available can be added to what you do. If you aren’t in school consider going back.


As you climb the corporate ladder and eventually reach the top elect your staff based on their abilities, and qualifications. Promote them by the same criteria. Next thing you know there will be new studies that tilt the scales with better results.



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