LargeInCharge Magazine - Eight Years & Going Strong!

 Issue#103 - October 2012

Welcome to LargeInCharge Magazine

In this Issue of L.I.C.




Words of Wisdom from the Heart & Mind of Raqui


Good 4 U Food  ~ Xander


The Big GB Getting my Life Back after Gastric Bypass - Angie Bee


From the Desk of NAAFA

National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance


Fashion & Products with The WebGirl ~ Lucia Roth


Fattitude - Its a Fat way of Life ~ Pat Llewellyn


The B.I.G. - Beautiful Inspirational Girl  ~ Ms Suga


Big Girl, Small World - Gabriela Falarz


Dating Survival for Today's Woman

Kathy Hernandez


The Observer - Jness


LargeInChargeDating - Dating for the Large People who are going to be in Charge of their Love Lives!


LargeInCharge Friends - The Place for Big People to make Friends and maybe MUCH MORE!

Fat Guy Surfer - Jimbo Pellegrine

Fat Guy Surfer - Jimbo Pellegrine

By: Internet Source  - Chubstr



Jimbo Pellegrine Proves That Fat Guys Can Surf

On YouTube, they call him The Fat Surfer. Maybe you’ve caught the video or seen some of his amazing pictures on Tumblr. We were able to catch up with Jimbo Pellegrine, the man who has been blowing away stereotypes and preconceived notions for years by simply getting on a surfboard and doing what he loves to do.


How long have you been surfing and how did you get started? I have been surfing for 35 years. My dad is a surfer and that helped me. We always lived close to the ocean and near the best locations. I started surfing when I was 4 years old, and by the time I was 10 I had already surfed places that many surfers had only dreamed of, like Hawaii and the ranch in California.

What is it about surfing that keeps you doing it? Surfing is the kind of thing that keeps you forever. I am a water person and always have been. Once a surfer, always a surfer.

Favorite place to surf? My favorite places to surf are big hollow waves with lots of open face sections, such as Padang Padang, Desert Point, Pipeline, Middles and Cannons on Kauai, and surprisingly enough I actually miss Lower Trestles for its rippable left.

In looking at comments about your surfing videos online, people seem to be surprised that a big guy can surf. Are people as surprised in person when they see you heading out into the water? People are always in awe, especially when I go to places I have not performed yet. Usually people get strange looks on their faces and snicker, and kids talk shit. Then there are the places I have been known to frequent where you can find my name carved into cement and posters of me everywhere, so I have a ton of hype at my favorite spots and all the pros and homeys are with me so that makes a difference.

What kind of board do you ride? Is there a specific kind that is made for bigger guys? I ride a LOST board shaped by MAYHEM Matt Biolos -2010 Surfing Magazine Shaper of the Year. He constructed a Big Boy Fish and a sick round pin for me. My fish is 7’0 24 by 3-3/4 and my round pin is 7’6 24 3-3/4. If anyone would like to order the big boy pro models let me know (using the info at the end of the article -Bruce) and I will set you up.

A lot of husky guys think that surfing isn’t possible for them. You’ve proven that wrong. Do you have any advice for people that want to surf but aren’t sure how to get started? Surfing is a great sport and the feeling you get from sun and ocean is amazing. Starting to surf at an older age could get little bit harder, but if you have the right equipment and the right instruction it will be all good.

I read that you live in Indonesia and that you run several businesses. What do you have going on now? I live in Bali, Indonesia and I am a distributor of lost surfboards and clothing through my retail store. We carry all Lost products, including boards and clothing of all sizes. I am also working with Yaari Rom to design and produce a big size clothing label that offers shirts, board shorts, walk shorts, and pants. The new label is called Big Boy Trading Co., and we plan to expand to offer surfboards, skate boards, and some high end button down shirts. Look for a website soon.

My newest endeavor is a kick ass surf camp called Lost In Lombok Surfari Camp that I am doing with surfer Chris Ward and Lost. Lombok is a great island and Chris and I have been spending a lot of time together this summer, so we decided to put the Lost name on our own surf camp. We will be taking beginners along with all of our shredders on the most incredible surfing holiday of their lives. We also have a surfari camp in Bali and luxury villas for rent.

Looks like Jimbo has a lot going on! For more info on any of his businesses, you can connect with him at jsphatti[at]

See more photos of Jimbo and his amazing Bali home on our Facebook Page!




Featured Interview


Thank you for Reading The LargeInCharge Feature



  Molly Roxx!



Cover Model Interview

 What is your name?

Molly Roxx Where are you from and what is your current Location?

I was born in NJ. I am currently in Lexington, KY. I will be moving to Florida in a little over 2 weeks. Can you give us some information about yourself (Age, Height, Size, Nationality, Marital Status, Children, etc.)? 

I am 36. I am a size 22/24. I am Lithuanian, German, and Italian. I am married but separated. I have one child, a cat, and a dog. Were you a big child, or did you gain weight later in life?

I was a toothpick child. I was extremely thin. I was very active in sports and dance. My weight gain started at pregnancy. (If you gained weight later in life) what caused you to gain weight and how did you feel about it?

I gained weight for many reasons. Pregnancy was the main reason. I am very comfortable at my larger size. I like my curves. I think I look sexy and soft. What made you decide to enter the LargeInCharge model search?  I love the magazine.

I have been a fan for years! I was a cover model for the magazine a few years ago and it was such an honor. I would love to be honored again! Did you find it a hard journey to be accepted by others at your size?

This may sound like a bad attitude answer, but I don’t care. If someone does not accept me for my size, they do not accept me. My size is a part of me and it always will be. I accept myself. My friends and loved ones do too, and that’s who matters. Do you find it a hard to accept yourself as a Plus Sized Person?

Nope! Everyone should accept themselves for who and what they are. If they do not have it in themselves to love and embrace themselves, they can hopefully find it in themselves to do something about it. Do you find acceptance among your family and friends?

I do. They wouldn’t be my friends if they didn’t accept me. My family has known since I was about 5 that I march to the beat of a different drummer. My size, my hair colors, all of my tats, and a few piercings. They accept me and my entire package. They know that appearance isn’t what makes a person who they are. What would you say inspires you most in life?

My son, my friends, People who are honest and live their daily lives without fear of what others may think, People who live out loud, anyone who has the inner strength to be true to themselves. What is your primary occupation?

Modeling & web design. How did you get into this line of work?

The modeling was something I lucked into. I had an eye doctor several years ago ask me to model for some head shots to be hung in his practice and it went from there. A local agent saw one of the pictures and contacted me. That led to some local shoots and some mall runway shows, and it has just continued on for a quite an enjoyable ride! Do you find acceptance in the work force?

I work with all plus sized people so very much so! What changes do you believe should take place for Large People in the work force?

I think there should be acceptance for every single person at their work place. No one should be made to feel like an outsider or uncomfortable in their work place. Acceptance seminars are popular at some companies. They teach people how to accept people for who they truly are. They should be taught not to judge on size, color, religion and so on. What do you think about the fashion industry for big sized clothing?

I am starting to like it. A lot of stores still have what I call old lady couch clothes. They look like couch fabric styled into a dress an 80 year old lady would be proud to wear to church. But, with stores such as Torrid out there, and a lot of newer online stores younger ladies are now, more than ever able to dress somewhat trendy and fashionable. What do you wish to see change with the fashion industry?

I would like the newer trendier stores for plus sized ladies to go up to a size larger than 26. I would also like to see department stores that carry all sizes to also carry cute and fashionable plus sizes. A lot of times their cute and fun clothes end at a size 16/18 and then their sizes 20+ are just frumpy, baggy and saggy. What changes do you think will happen if plus sized modeling for men and women were to expand?

Hopefully society as a whole will notice that beauty comes in all sizes. Tell us some of the places you buy your clothing from. & Wal-Mart and I design a lot of my own shirts through  Tell us one of your secret beauty tips.

I wash my hair every other day, but I condition it daily.  Give us some tips on how to have a successful Photo shoot.  What should models be prepared for?

They should be prepared to work! You are on your feet. You are up! You are down! Heck, sometimes you are crawling! It is a lot of work and sometimes several hours at one time. Hot lights, Cold fans. Outside environmental issues… Look at Size acceptance five years ago... look at size acceptance now.  What changes do you see?

I see fans of larger people crawling out of the woodwork. People are still very closeted about their attraction to larger people…but every day someone new comes out of the closet. What changes do you think will happen five years from now with size acceptance?

I think there will be a few more fashion choices. A few more un-closeted plus sized fans and a few more comfortable work environments. I think that true size acceptance in this world is extremely slow and I don’t think very much will have changed in 5 years. Do you face discrimination in your daily life as a Plus Sized Person?

I probably do. I really just don’t pay attention to other people’s ignorance’s. I have too much to live for and enjoy to let other people hang-ups affect me. Tell us about your goals as far as modeling and other interests.

My goals in modeling are simple: Model until I am 80 and then retire. I love it. It’s self-expression at its finest. My other goals in life are to just give my son the best life he can have and to enjoy my friends and family  What have you accomplished as a Plus Sized Model?

I have been in magazines and on their covers. I have done runway shows. I have been on coupons and signage and in ads and on websites. I have accomplished a lot with my modeling. I think the most important accomplishments I have made with my modeling are inspiration. When I get a fan letter from a young, plus sized female who says she is no longer ashamed of her size because of me…It can bring a person to tears.  Have you entered or won any Contests, Pageants or Awards?  What was the experience like?

For modeling I have won several contests. It always feels great to win something of course! Can you tell us about an inspirational moment in your life that made you feel good about your size.

When I saw myself as the cover model for this magazine 2 years ago I was elated! I called and emailed everyone I knew. Is there a person in your life that keeps you going?

My son. He has a lot of health concerns and he keeps on trucken’ and with a smile on his face…and usually singing. What advice would you give to other people of size who want to model?

Do it. At least try it. It is so much fun! What plus size figure do you most admire?

There really are so many! There is this one Plus-sized model named Francisca Acks-Ramos who is always so classy and kind. She takes beautiful pictures, designs incredible jewelry and is just an all around beautiful lady. She is one of the many I admire. Describe yourself with one word. 




Thanks for reading about our

Cover Model of the Month



     Raqui the Owner and Founder of, Raqui's  "Tell it like it is" style of writing has brought thousands to her blogs and millions to  There is so much behind the woman who has brought this magazine into existence.  Being Internationally known as a wrestler/squasher lead the way to modeling for companies and being featured in magazines and documentaries from all over the world.  She has made a career out of her size and personality. Born, Raised in the Bronx NYC. This city girl is taking the world by storm.


     For the past 8 years Raqui officially moved into Size Acceptance and Empowerment.  With the creation of LargeInCharge she took what she said to individuals to a higher level and made it public to the internet world. She is a woman who doesn't let things get to her.  Knock her down for the moment but she will rise up stronger and better.  Being a speaker on behalf of many subjects and counseling Plus Sized people online her grace and style has made people love her.  Raqui continues to set an example of a powerful woman who will bend the world to fit her, her way.


     Raqui's appearances include, Uk Television, German TV, Japan, Europe, Sweden and the Spanish circuit.  Her many magazines appearances have been world wide.  She has hit American Television in 2006 with Good Morning American and since has appeared on The Cristina Show,  The Maury Show and The Tyra Banks Show.

To view her Online portfolio visit

Raqui's New Blog titled Raqui-ism "Soulfully Speaking! -

 Raqui Host's Seminar at 16th Annual Vegas Bash 2012

go to Portfolio Section

Raqui-ism - A Letter from the Good Guy - A response from the Good Girls

Written By: Raqui

I saw a graphic that was posting on a group that I am a part of, my short response got a lot of positive feedback so I wrote a little more on this short topic.  Just some thoughts that ran through my head. 


Dear "Good Guys"


Stop chasing the backwards crazy chick who doesn't want you, but keeps you as her back up. Stop running after her hoping she will want you one day, after she goes through hell and back, DO YOU REALLY WANT HER AFTER ALL THAT with the complexes and bullshit? STOP STOP STOP have some self respect, and look around at someone who cares about you, and respects you for who you are. Maybe she wasn't your first pick, or who you lusted after for years, but she is the better choice. You keep asking why backwards chick is treating you this way, and you know the answer. She doesn’t want to be with you ROMANTICALLY, and you don’t want to admit it to yourself, but you’re the good guy and a good person. She wants to be your friend, and reap the benefits of that friendship and your feelings for her. She knows you like her, a part of her might even know it’s wrong to lead you on, if she really thinks about it. Some of you won’t take NO for an answer because you want to wear her down and get the prize, but what are you getting someone with luke warm feelings for you, not pure passion? Instead of chasing that chick, who doesn't want you to be her man, because she is not feeling you, and just isn’t into you like that. Look at the woman who is feeling you, and who likes you just as you are, and wants to share her life with you. When you move on and aren't available to that backwards buster, and she suddenly wants you around, DONT YOU DARE leave the woman who cherishes you to go back to buster-land, being her 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th choice depending on who is talking to her today. Using you like a leaning post because your good ole Mr. Reliable. When you respect yourself as a man for what you have to offer a real woman, you won’t settle for less. Then you will find a woman who won’t try to make you settle either.



PS: Backwards chicks do not make you turn into assholes, they don’t make Good Guys Scarce either. Good Guys won’t change your giving that Buster too much control over you. If you allow her backwards behavior to change you then you need to look at yourself first and think about why you’re accepting this crap on a plate as The Cake you Desire. And you are just DYING TO EAT IT UP!



The Good Girls who are tired of guys throwing us to the side for

Backward Immature Chicks


A Little bit of Raqui-ism for your day! HUGS Raqui


LargeInCharge Radio - Weekly Radio show discussing Plus Sized Issues.  Friday's 7-9 pm EST - Call in & Chat in our Chat Room.


Thank you for Reading Raqui-ism

Please send thoughts and comments to



     Xander brings blend of life experience and culinary twist to his writing. From cooking on television and live demonstrations, to writing Xander cook’s like he feels. A former Chicago native transplanted to Tennessee, His goal has been to experience the fullness of food heritage. He believes that as a people and society, can learn a lot from what we eat. Combining a great life lesson and a easy recipe.  They go hand-in-hand to provide a tasty addition to your day. Xander has to confess that ingredients in a great meal are like the ingredients in a great life are never far apart.



The Will to act is the Ability to Change

by Xander The Food Dude


Over the last eight (almost nine) months I have been involved with the care of my mother.  She had four strokes in less than a three months span.  As I look back at the months as they have seemed to pass in a heartbeat of time, I finally have reached a point that I think I can see some of the lessons that have been taught to be by some celestial force in the universe.  I wanted to take this opportunity to cover the first few in this article and continue with more in next months.  While I can’t claim that all of these lesson would be the same for everyone in my situation, I can say with some level of confidence that all of these lessons are good lessons with application whether you’re in my situation or not.

Lesson #1

It’s alright to be scared.

I can honestly say that for a while fear became my journeyman in this effort in caring for my mother.  I had more fears about more than things than there are stars in the universe.  I feared everything all coming from the feeling of inadequacy in being a good caregiver to my mother.  I felt bad that I feared everything.   While it may seem to be a generality is saying that I feared everything, I really did.  Family and friends have been supportive, giving words of praise, but it did nothing to alleviate my concerns.   It felt and sometimes feels as though everything is way out of my control.  The solution is this:  acknowledge that it’s true that most things are out of our control.  This is not a defeatist statement but rather a statement of fact.  I had to focus on the few things I can control, and take ownership of those.  Most of these revolve around schedules, content of moments and simply being prepared.  While we can never be prepared for every possibility, we can reflect on potential happens and at least have a plan.  It’s alright to be scared, but you can’t let that fear stop you from moving.

Lesson #2

The Will To Act

This may be more of a Lesson 1.5 because it ties in so heavily with Lesson 1.  Facing fear and uncertainty with a plan is not enough.  At this point it is necessary to reach deep within yourself and resolve that you need to do something.  For me, it was to take a step, to learn more, to dive into those things that I never thought I could or wanted to do, and just do it.  A plan, a goal, and objective, without intent, without the will to act is nothing but wasted energy.  You can have a glorious plan that they world is sunshine and everyone is happy, healthy, and rich, but life simply doesn’t work that way.  I have a friend who is a pastor and he puts it this way.  “God gave us free will for a reason.  It allows us to choose right from wrong, good and bad, and to take ownership of those decision whatever the outcome.  Without free will we are simply slaves.”  He went on further to explain that less and and less in society are people willing to make a decision and face the consequences for the good or bad of those decision.  Step on to deciding what tomorrow is going to look is having the will to act on circumstances of today.

Lesson #3

Take the Help

When I started this journey I was dead set on providing everything my mother needed.  I was the only one who was going to be responsible for her care.  In a very short time I learned that I was not enough to meet the needs of my mother.  The worst part of it was that because I couldn’t meet all her needs (as a son should) I had overwhelming bought of depression.  Through other providers I have learned that in situations of care giving, no one is enough.  However, there are people out there who are willing and able to help, it’s part of their life calling and they give freely.  I had to learn that it doesn’t make me weak to accept help, more it the need to focus on making sure my mother’s needs are met.  This is case where we have to acknowledge that we cannot and are not the focus, its other people.  Everyone needs help from time to time in their lives, it nothing to be ashamed of or to feel less about.  Perhaps the next most important part of getting help is to pay it back when you’re able.  For me, at some point I intend on volunteering at food kitchens or even the nursing home who took such good care of my mother.  I’ve also found that taking the perspective of paying it back helps to alleviate some of my guilt for needing the help.

Lesson #4

The Next Great Moment

I’ve learned that in time of Joy you need to live in that moment as if it was your last.  In times of strife and pain, you need to work hard to acknowledge that just around the corner could be the next great moment.  The important thing to know is that if you get bogged down and focus purely on that pain, that’s where you’ll always stay… in pain.  When my mother got out of the nursing home, I was terrified of taking care of her (now I’ve worked my way up to simply being paranoid all the time).  I had her home for two weeks and she went back into the hospital.  Two days at home, back into the hospital she went.  We hit a major home run, when she made it to three weeks at home, then she had to go back into the hospital.  Through all of the incidents it seemed like things were not getting any better and in some cases they got worse.  This last Sunday morning I was getting my mother out of bed, when it seemed like her leg moved (this being the leg that had no motion for the last eight months).  I had many times in the past thought I had seen motion only to try it again and again to no avail.  This last Sunday morning I tried again.  “Mom, move your leg”.  There was a slight twitching in her upper leg muscle and then her lower leg muscle.  Bit by bit the leg started to rise.  I almost broke down crying.  I reset the leg.. “Do it again”,  again the leg moved.  Do it again I repeated over and over.  Again and again her leg would move.  I videotaped it.  I was riding on such a high that day.  The next morning I threw back the covers, straightened out her leg.  Do it again mom.  Nothing happened.  I would stretch her leg over and over, still no movement. Today we simply had movement in her toes.  While I would prefer that she had movement in her leg every day I know that recovery is a very slow process.  But I hang on to the fact that she did move it which means she will be able to move it again.  I hang on to the videotape to remind myself of a great moment and I now know that I’m just working to the next great moment.  Its all there waiting for me and my mother to arrive.


The continuation of this article can be seen in next month’s issue.  For the following series of recipes, Xander has decided to stick with classic taste.  This is part of an overall theme of keeping life simple.




Xander's Recipe of the Month

Waffle Worth the Wait

My mom has really found a joy in breakfast food since her strokes.  Trying to cook it fresh every morning has proven to be very time consuming.  However, I learned that with some things like these waffles, the batter can be done ahead for 1-3 day worth (keeping it in the fridge) and the quality doesn’t suffer, but saves a lot of time.





  • 2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 4 teaspoons baking powder
  • 2 tablespoons white sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 1/2 cups warm milk
  • 1/3 cup butter, melted
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract



  1. In a large bowl, mix together flour, salt, baking powder and sugar; set aside. Preheat waffle iron to desired temperature.
  2. In a separate bowl, beat the eggs. Stir in the milk, butter and vanilla. Pour the milk mixture into the flour mixture; beat until blended.
  3. Ladle the batter into a preheated waffle iron. Cook the waffles until golden and crisp. Serve immediately.




Thank you for Reading Good Food 4U

By Xander the Food Dude

Please send thoughts and comments to


Angie BEE grew-up a standard-sized young woman, educated in communications, promotions and planning.  She became a wife, mother and ministry support member while building businesses and her faith.

Through stress, age and a poor diet and while suffering from major depression and attempted suicide, Angie BEE's weight climbed from 180 pounds to 360 pounds.  She was diagnosed with high blood pressure, diabetes, obstructive sleep apnea, an overactive bladder and poor leg circulation.  At the age of 40 an anxiety attack and the decline in her mental health forced her to stop work and look at improving her declining health.  It was during this time that Angie BEE became inspired by her younger sister Sonya Bennett during her process towards Gastric Bypass Surgery.  Sonya launched this column and will return occasionally to contribute to it, but now that she is three years-post surgery... her life is focused on something new!

Now, celebrating her first year of a new life since having the procedure herself, Angie BEE is healthier than she has been in over a decade.  Losing the first 100 pounds was just the bonus!  She is now diabetes-free.  She has normal blood pressure.  The circulation in her legs is normal.  She sleeps without a c-pap machine and more!  The joy that she feels is documented each day in her syndicated radio show, a brand new weekly  TV show documentary and each month in this article.  The Big GB stands for The BIG Gastric Bypass and it also stands for "Getting (my life) Back".  This article reflects how Angie BEE's life has improved... by the grace of God and as the result of having Gastric Bypass surgery on Feb 28, 2011.  This is now her life!


Maintaining My Control Because I WANT To Be!

with Angie Bee


My doctor knocks on the door before she enters the examination room. Just a simple knock that I always expect, but this time it startled me. I had fallen asleep on the exam table and jumped to sit up just as she was opening the door. "Did I take THAT long to come and examine you today?" she asked me. "Nope" was my reply. I just know that I missed my B12 injection!


As you begin your new lifestyle after gastric bypass surgery, the first thing you learn to do is to take your nutritional supplements and continue to take them regularly for the rest of your life. Nutritional deficiency can lead to hair loss, tooth loss, bone deterioration and even mental challenges. Add that to the fact that you will begin to crave foods that your body needs when you don't have proper nutrients and you can get into the habit of overeating and weight gain! I am not proud to admit that I missed my regular B12 injection and I maintained my same weight over the past six weeks. I had been losing an average of 5-8 pounds per month, so to maintain my weight this month is almost the same (in MY mind) as gaining 5 pounds! WOW! Eighteen months after my surgery; I stopped losing weight this month. I won't let let THAT happen again!


So, as my doctor examined me she asked me the regular questions and even determined that I was a bit "blue". Now, as a woman that lives with major depression and anxiety on the regular, I didn't want to hear THAT either. She did encourage me a bit by reminding me that I will feel better once I get my monthly B12 injection and even just being two (2) weeks late in receiving it can make all the difference in the world!


Don't get me wrong; I have cheated a bit this past month. Our concert tour ministry has been BUSY and I traveled a bit this month as the MC of The Tour that Angie BEE Presents. I was interviewed this month by Lee Lee's Authors Showcase Radio Show where I shared my testimony about the attempted suicide and abuse that I wrote about in my book. God rescued me from SO much in my lifetime and now is transforming me to a new creature by healing my body through the gastric bypass surgery. We even chatted about the weight loss during the interview!



I want you to know that I have fallen in love. I really AM in love! My heart soars when I think about my love and my taste buds drool when I am near my love. I am in LOVE with the Key Lime Cake at the P&D Soul Food Kitchen restaurant across from the radio station where I work (three layer cake with cream cheese frosting -- Oh my GOODNESS!) and I realized that this new lifestyle since gastric bypass DOES take some work!


Yes, I can treat myself to sweets on occasion but I do have to use self control as well. I have to remain in CHARGE of my cravings. I have to remember that I am in remission from from Type II Diabetes and High Blood Pressure! I don't have to sleep with a mask over my face forcing me to breathe at night and I can walk distances now without swollen ankles and back pain. I was HEALED and I don't want to ever return to where I was because of a sweet tooth or lack of self control. The Soul Food Kitchen reminds me that I, alone, control my eating habits by ordering smaller portions and asking for higher protein (the meat loaf and ribs tips are OFF DA CHAIN). I resist the temptation to indulge in the starches that helped contribute to the nearly 400 pounds that I once weighed, and I am proud of myself when I enter the restaurant without drooling over the aroma! I love being in control, and I love being me!


Next month our tour has appearances in Orlando and Daytona Beach. Keep me in your prayers as I continue to find new dresses for appearances on stage (my on-stage dresses are now too big - I need a dress sponsor!) and come back next month for more of My Life After Bypass Surgery!



Angie BEE

Author, Magazine Publisher, Producer, Promoter &

The Host of The Hottest Home Hotspot WORLDWIDE

Syndicated Holy Hip Hop Radio Show

Last Week I wanted to Die!




Thanks for reading

The Big GB - My Gastric Bypass Memoirs

Sonya's Links:

Sonya Bennett on Facebook

     Founded in 1969, NAAFA is a non-profit civil rights organization dedicated to improving the quality of life for fat people. NAAFA works to eliminate discrimination based on body size and provide fat people with the tools for self-empowerment through public education, advocacy, and member support.


     This Column is dedicated to the tremendous work NAAFA has been doing for over four decades.  LargeInCharge wishes to support NAAFA in spreading the word of its work, and give the public more information into issues we as plus sized people should be aware of.  The fight for equality for people of all sizes is one we support.


     This Column will include News Releases and Calls to Action from NAAFA Directors.


This Column has been Approved by


NAAFA Child Advocacy Toolkit Update

from: - by Darliene Howell



Since its introduction in 2011, the NAAFA Child Advocacy ToolkitSM (CATK) has been shared with thousands. Yes, thousands!  Here are a few highlights:


  • In June, 2011, NAAFA teamed with NAAFA Advisory Board Member Joanne Ikeda and members of ASDAH to introduce and distribute the CATK to interested parties at the 6th Biennial Childhood Obesity Conference in San Diego, CA.
  • At the 2011 Annual Convention, NAAFA held a press conference at the National Press Club in Washington, DC featuring the CATK and speaking directly to bullying of fat children.
  • NAAFA was invited to participate in the 2nd Annual Stop the Pain Teen Summit on Dating Violence and Bully Prevention held by the Positive Results Corporation in April, 2012 at the Los Angeles Convention Center. Members of the NAAFA-LA Chapter staffed a table at the summit and shared information about bullying of large children and the NAAFA Child Advocacy Toolkit.
  • The NAAFA CATK has been distributed at a variety of venues, ranging from the BBW Network’s Vegas Bash to The Fatty Affair in San Jose and the BEDA Conference in Philadelphia.
  • Statistics from the online version of the CATK show over 5,700 views through the end of June, 2012.


One of my personal projects has been to send emails to any agency, organization, governmental institution, or group of individuals that say they are in some way promoting child obesity interventions. In my email, I tell them of a wonderful resource that I would like to share with them…the NAAFA Child Advocacy Toolkit! I have sent hundreds of these emails in the past year and a half.  The following are a few of the responses. It’s important that we know that NAAFA is making a difference in tangible ways.


“Thank you very much for replying to the commentary I wrote for the Times record last September.  I apologize that it has taken me this long to write you this thank you! I very much appreciate your point of view concerning stigmatization of over weight children.  The Let’s Go, 5-2-1-0 program we partner with schools and early childhood organizations on, takes the approach of encouraging positive and healthy lifestyles, much like HAES.  I agree that strategies to prevent childhood obesity must avoid any strategy that could injure children psychologically.  You are right, the resources on the Yale Rudd Center site are terrific and I am sharing them with the teachers with whom we partner.  Thanks so much for your interest in this subject.”

Marla H. Davis MSN, RN, TTS-C

Director, Community Health Improvement

Tobacco Cessation Specialist

Mid Coast Hospital


“Thank you for your email.  The toolkit that you sent looks very valuable.  It is very consistent to what we teach our campers at Camp Strong4Life (  If you have any other resources that you think would be helpful in our work, feel free to pass them along.”

Thank you,

Laura L. Colbert, MPH, CHES

Program Coordinator, Child Wellness, Community Programs

Children's Healthcare of Atlanta


“Governor Scott's office forwarded your recent email to the Florida Department of Health for response. The Bureau of Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion in the Florida Department of Health is committed to decreasing the impact of chronic diseases on the health of Floridians.  We receive federal funding to address healthy lifestyles in adults and one of our primary goals is related to healthy weight.  We are familiar with many healthy weight related sites and appreciate adding to our list of valuable resources.  We recently attended a presentation by Dr. Kelly D. Brownell, Director of the Yale Rudd Center, and have shared "Health At Every Size" information with our health department staff and partners for work within local communities.  We will add the NAAFA Childhood Obesity Toolkit to our resource list and share the information with other staff within the Department who work with children. We certainly understand the importance of dealing with health, environmental, and policy issues at all age levels.  Thank you for sending these valuable resources.”


Bureau of Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion

Florida Department of Health


I have received replies from the CDC, the NIH, and the USDA. As evidenced here, we CAN reach others through our efforts in educating the public of discrimination. NAAFA is also looking forward to what can be done to improve the tools it produces. NAAFA is looking to the next generation of the CATK to include “visual scenarios” – video enactments of the scenarios that can be used in educational settings to demonstrate the examples of bullying and other discriminatory acts to promote discussion of how things can be changed.


If you’d like to be involved in promoting change in the lives of children, recommend the NAAFA Child Advocacy Toolkit to teachers, caregivers, boards of education, any child obesity prevention programs you come across. Simply send them the link to the CATK on the NAAFA website.


You can also be instrumental in seeing NAAFA’s vision of the visual edition of the Child Advocacy Toolkit become a reality by giving. Donate today.  Your donations to NAAFA are making advances in EQUALITY AT EVERY SIZE!





Thanks for reading

From the Desk of NAAFA



Our WebGirl Lucia Roth, was born in New Orleans, Louisiana. Graduated with a B. A. degree in Communication from Southeastern Louisiana University and is considering going back for her Masters degree. Lucia a people person and is always willing to help out a friend in need. She enjoys music, movies, poetry, and good book on a rainy day. Lucia has several mottos about life.

This is one: Knowledge talks, wisdom listens.


I just wanted to re- introduce myself, since I just joined Large In Charge magazine last year. My name is Lulu, and I am a fashion writer for I am a fashion junkie:) I look forward to finding wonderful fashion find and product of the month for you. I also look forward to chatting with you all an reading some good fashion comments!


Please let me know if you have a favorite.



The WebGirl Picks of the Month

Fashion Find Product of the Month

Fashion Find

Lane Bryant

Fashion Find Type:  Clearance Sale from 40 % off


Price: Sale - prices varies





Product of the Month

Recommended by: Lucia

Name of Product: Lucid

Type of Product:  Lip Gloss

Where Product can be found:


Description: I like this lip gloss it feels like silk and it makes my lips look super sexy. For the women on the go or just for the super sexy look you need to try Lucid.



Pat is a forty something woman living in Southern Ontario, Canada. She has a varied past and has worked teaching literacy and English as a second language to adults, as an environmental science technician and in the health and safety field. Currently she works in marketing.

Pat fiercely believes in human rights for all and has volunteered for organizations that raise funds and develop and implement programs to help impoverished people and educate women in third world countries. Although relatively new to the size acceptance movement, Pat believes with all her heart that people of size deserve equal treatment and respect.

In her spare time she likes to read fiction, go to bashes and spend time with friends.


Fat Shaming

with Pat Llewellyn



*I have some good news on the depression front! The medication is starting to kick in and I’m slowly starting to feel better. I still cry at the drop of the hat, but the oppressiveness of the depression is lifting. Yay me!*

I’m a little riled up right now about a couple of ad the Blue Cross in Minnesota

(see links and Video below)

The goal of these ads… are to shame fat people so that they will lose weight.  The thing is, research has shown that shaming doesn’t work.

I’ve been fat most of my life. I’ve dieted, gained the weight back. lost it again and gained it back. For a large part of my life I believed that because I was fat I did not deserve love, happiness and that I should be embarrassed because I’m fat. I was to wear clothing that covered up how fat I was.  I don’t need research to show me that shaming doesn’t work; I’ve lived the cycle of self-hate and loathing.  But for those who do need research, a study at Yale’s Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity, has spent over a decade studying attitudes toward weight.

Rebecca Puhl states: “"What our research shows is that people feel much more motivated and empowered to make healthy lifestyle changes when campaign messages are supportive and encourage specific health behaviors," she says. "But when campaign messages communicate shame or blame or stigma, people report much less motivation, and lower intentions to improve their health behaviors."

All these ads have done is reinforcing the image of fat people being lazy, and poor food choices. There is no mention of Health at Every Size and no mention of recent studies that have shown being fat does not necessarily equal being unhealthy.  

A representative from the MN Blue Cross has said they stand behind these ads and they were meant to start conversations about obesity. Reading the comments under the videos and the news article about these ads shows more of a free for all of blame and shame than a discussion.

It makes me angry to see the concern trolls comment and the passionate hatred they have towards fat people. After pointing out a few inconsistencies in their comments I had to leave the page. I know in my head that nothing I say, no research I post will convince these people that they are biased and being disrespectful. My heart wants to scream at them and rage right back, to make them back down and apologize for being so hurtful and condescending.

I know in the end that all I can do is provide a logical and fact based response and hope that just one person gets it.




     Ms Suga is a plus size woman hailing from Sunny South Florida. She is a 24 year old recent recipient of a Bachelor in Arts degree in Communication Studies. Being plus size for the majority of her life she has overcome many obstacles to finally come to the point where she is fully content with herself and her life. This self love has also allowed Ms Suga the privilege of sharing her love with those around her. She is very passionate about life and loves to help others.

     Ms Suga likes to see herself as the one everyone can go to for positive, inspirational and truthful words of advice and/or support. She is the Beautiful Inspirational Girl that is blessed, intellectual, trustworthy, caring and hardworking.

     Ms Suga has had a passion for writing since she was a little girl when she used to think of short stories about what her life would be like as she got older. This is Ms Suga’s first opportunity for her thoughts to be public for the world to see. Excited about this column Ms Suga is also very optimistic of her future in writing and promoting self love and acceptance in the plus size community.


Who is that in the Mirror?

with Ms Suga



So I've recently made a major change in my life and to be honest I'm petrified about what will happen next. Granted I'm scared to death of this change but at the same time I'm uber excited! Contrary to what some people think change is good. And with this change I can reinvent myself into the woman I want and need to be.


 The other day I was doing my make-up and found myself humming 'Man In the Mirror' by Michael Jackson. And if you are a true fan of MJ and this song I'm sure you can picture that scene vividly in your minds. ?? Although I'm glad no one could see me make an ass of myself, that song really made an impact on my day. With the chorus blasting between my ears I started to really evaluate myself and my new changes and I wondered who is this woman looking back at me in the mirror?


 Well just so you know I am still evaluating myself and I think It will be an ongoing process. I've learned that the more one learns about themselves the more they want to learn about themselves. I encourage you, take a good look at yourself in the mirror. Do you like what you see? Not just the physical face but do you like the person you see? Is that person kind and loving or cold and heartless? Is this the person you want to be? Is this the person you need to be?


 A friend of mine told me that every time she goes to a different church some prophet always asks her the same question "Why aren't you doing what you are made to do? Why are you running from your true self?" (Of course she ignored them and came to me for advice like I'm a certified prophet or psychiatrist something.) But as her friend all I could do was give her words of encouragement. I asked her the same question I asked myself: "When you look in the mirror who do you see?" There's no right or wrong answer.


 I encourage you to evaluate yourself. If you don't like what you see, change it. I love me but I don't like all this extra weight I'm carrying. So I decided to do something about it. Now it's your turn. Wanna go back to school? Go for it. Want to lose weight? Go for it. Want to change careers? Go for it.  Want to let go of those negative people in your life? GO FOR IT! I hope you are getting the picture because I'm about to run out of ideas. LoL. At the end of the day YOU are your greatest enemy.


 So...I'm starting with the woman in the mirror. I'm asking her to change her ways. And no message could have been any clearer. If you wanna make the world a better place, Take a look at yourself and then make a CHANGE!!


 Love and blessings to you all. Until we meet again.



 Ms. Suga




Gabriela Falarz lives in Toronto, Canada. She has been up and down the scale for most of her life (mostly up), and is proud to say that she loves herself no matter what her size, although it has definitely been an evolution.


She blogs about size acceptance in her blog, Celebreight Yourself (  Gabriela discovered Large in Charge Radio about a year ago and has been hooked ever since. She is thrilled to be writing for Large in Charge and to be part of an organization that helps all large people realize how beautiful, special, and amazing they are.


What Makes You Beautiful?

with Gabriela Falarz




The other day, I saw this question on a website and I got all warm and fuzzy inside when I read the answers. We all think that what we look like is so important, but it turns out it’s not really important at all.


On a daily basis, we are exposed to images of what we are told is beautiful. It’s usually a young woman with large breasts and a small waist. The cosmetic industry profits in the billions from selling makeup and creams which we are told will make us more beautiful.


However, the vast majority of the responses to this question had absolutely nothing to do with aesthetics. Here are just a few examples of what people said they consider beautiful:


~ “Everyone’s always beautiful with a smile on their face.”

~ “What’s beautiful is who you are inside.”

~ “A kind, loving heart.”

~ “Authenticity, self-confidence, and a smile.”

~ “The beauty of a person comes from the inside. If the heart is beautiful then that beauty will radiate to the outside so that all the world can see it. A person can’t fake inside beauty.”

~ “Beauty radiates through one’s personality, the way a person talks, smiles, and the way they handle themselves. It is something you see in the face, the eyes.”

~ “Accepting who you are and being confident in your own skin.”

~ “Beauty is all about perception. If you identify with someone’s heart, they will be beautiful to you. Sometimes a person who appears beautiful will become unattractive as you realize they have no substance or are negative and draining.”

~ “Character. Nothing else. Someone has a good character, result is beauty.”


These are just a few examples of some of the answers, and 95% of them were similar. There was the odd smart-assed, superficial comment, but the overwhelming majority expressed sentiments like these. I found it fascinating, but not too surprising.


In our society, we’re all required to lead double lives to some extent. We all have a “packaged” side that we present to the world, which is often quite different from the person we are inside. We all have to be a little contrived in our daily lives in order to get by in our demanding world. We can’t necessarily express every single thing we’d like. But when we’re in the comfort of our own homes, surrounded by the people and things we love, we can connect to the real “us” inside … the person who is horrified and disgusted by all the phoniness in the world, or the person who is delighted by the sight of someone authentic.


We all know that we are beautiful, no matter what size we are … and it turns out everyone else does, too. All that marketing and endless preaching about physical perfection can’t take it away, because it’s founded on a lie: that your beauty is measured solely by how you look.


Your beauty has far less to do with how you look, and far more to do with WHO YOU ARE. Are you proud of yourself? Are you happy with who you are? You should be … because that is what truly makes you beautiful, and anyone of substance will be able to see it.


So, I ask you: What makes you beautiful?





Kathy is originally from a small town in Michigan but has lived in San Diego County since she's been 18 years old.  Kathy graduated from San Diego State University with a Bachelors in Finance in 1999.   She has a real estate broker’s license and works as a mortgage banker.  


Kathy also owns BBW Club Catalina in San Diego which has monthly night club parties and other fun events on a frequent basis.  Kathy has been an avid supporter of NAAFA, Vegas BBW Bash and San Diego BBW Bash and believes in size acceptance and health at every size.  


Kathy is a firm believer that people need to have a full life by going to the movies, dinner, bowling, dancing and anything that will make them a happier person and not wait till they are at the perfect size to start living their life to the fullest. 


Kathy is in her mid-40's and her children are grown and living productively on their own.   In her spare time she likes trying new restaurants, dancing, modeling, bowling and spending time with family and friends.



The much Younger Man... Why are we Cougars?

 with Kathy Hernandez


I have been thinking about this particular article for literally months, because I know the young man that I will be referring to will read this, and he's a great and special guy who I don't want to hurt at all by anything I say in this article.  


I guess we should start with what we would define a cougar to be?  


I've had this discussion/argument with many friends who think it means many different things.   I believe a cougar is a woman who is at least 10 year older than the man she is dating, some think it's a woman who is even a day older than the man she is dating and some think it's 5 years.   Basically it's a older woman dating a younger man so someone came up with the word Cougar.   Let's flip this over and talk about the much older man dating the younger woman....  lol  ya I know the stud and it's somehow deemed more socially accepted. 


When I turned 35 years old which was almost 10 years ago, I discovered the younger man and how much they liked women older than themselves.   They all have different reasons for wanting to date someone who isn't their age but it seems like most of them like the fact that older women are more mature, know what they want, are more settled in life and yes are more experienced and definitely more confident sexually.  I've been dating younger men for quite awhile and you are wondering why huh?  


I've found I have more in common with younger men, I like the latest of Hip Hop,  R & B and a lot of men my age just don't like that type of music.   I also loving dancing and I've found that most men my age don't love dancing and will only do it as a means to an end which is hoping for a relationship with women or sex.   I like trying new restaurants, seeing live shows, amusement parks, zoos, going on cruises and yet again most of the men my age want to stay home and watch football or any other type of sports versus going out into the real world.  


Let's talk about the sex with younger men since I know everyone is thinking she likes younger men because of the sex right?   I will agree that younger men tend to be more experimental, willing to learn what makes you moan and groan, I also found they also love the cuddling, hand holding, and don't care who sees them doing it in public. 


The younger man I was referring to at the beginning of this article is in his Mid 20's age wise but he has a very old soul and that's not to say he isn't fun because he definitely is fun.   I have such a great time when I spend time with him and laugh the majority of the time.   He enjoys going to the Jacuzzi and pool with me and taking a shower with me afterwards.   We cook and bake together, watch movies, go out to eat, and yes the sex is very satisfying.   It's not just the sex by itself though it's also the hand holding while we are even asleep in bed, cuddling while we watch the comedy's on tv and talking about our day. 


Yes, I feel guilty that I enjoy his company so much because of the age difference but mentally we are a great fit.  He's amazingly smart and yes a bit geeky because he is so smart.  He is currently writing a book which he won't let me read until he's totally done and his major is in writing also.  He doesn't have a lot of friends that are close to him that are his age but he is very close to his father and I find that he tends to talk like a much older man and has the mannerisms that I can only assume that come from his father.   I have talked to him many times about how I'm not sure I am doing him any favors by spending time with me and not women in their mid 20's  but he assures me he isn't interested in them and wants to spend time with me.   He says he doesn't want children but a lot of people his age say that and change their minds later in life and I would never want to take away his chance at having children because I think they are the greatest gift of all.   I know he doesn't like my decision to only be friends, because I want him to have a full life and date women his age to make sure he isn't missing out on anything life has to offer him.  


I think I have grown in many ways from my relationship and friendship with him also.   Don't judge a book by its cover because you never know what a great story you will miss reading.





Celebrating almost 2 decades as a Graphic Designer/Published Illustrator, Jean Nerestant Jr (Jness) got his start as a graphic artist in 1994, Still working as a graphic designer by day/ Jness devotes time to his hip hop Culture, comic book art and Plus size/BBW Art.



Wonder Woman

with Jness


This month’s article starts by me taking you on a brief trip down memory lane. I am turning the pages back to many Septembers ago. I remember waking up before everyone in my house and sneaking into the living room in order to turn on the television. I kept the volume as low as possible making sure that Mom and Dad’s sleep went undisturbed. You may ask what was so important to make a kid wake up so early on a Saturday morning?


Saturday morning cartoons of course! When I got up extra early I watched Kukla Fran and Ollie, followed by Isis, then Captain Marvel and the list goes on. But the one show that really held me in the grasp of anticipation was “The Superfriends”. This cartoon featured Batman, Superman, Aquaman and Wonder Woman. Many other heroes were added to the cast in later seasons.


I had no way of knowing that the impression they made on me would last a lifetime. My fascination evolved to comic books, to drawing, and ultimately any extra helpings of the genre that would fit on my plate. Nowadays the Superfriends are more formally known as “The Justice League”. They are officially American icons whose fame has reached every boarder of the world. Which brings us to the point I wanted to make, as you see in the illustration featured in this article, I drew these heroes in my own style. I especially wanted you to pay close attention to Wonder Woman. I took the liberty of making her plus-sized, as I have done often with other superhero women. I often get big reactions when people see this special twist on the characters they have grown accustomed to seeing as much leaner women.


I offer this rendition of Wonder Woman void of humor and serious, in the same thread of dignity and womanhood that the character always portrayed through the years, the only difference is that she is a full figured woman. It is important to me that my artwork has visual impact. That impact has to make a memorable statement. Wonder Woman is an American icon, a symbol of women and their strength, not in the super model frame, but in the curvy girl frame. This artwork allows a wider audience of women the chance to see themselves in the character and identify with her even more.


The public response has been very supportive, and I am grateful. There are many voices saying yes to these new concepts. Society’s views have been one sided long enough. An enormous canyon of difference exists between the way things look compared to the way we look at them. That is the reason why I love art as a communication tool. It doesn’t have to adhere to the rules, and it doesn’t have to make apologies. It’s art, visual explorations of the mind that either restate the obvious or attempt to harness the unimaginable.


It’s a great privilege to have my art represent the everyday Wonder Women of the world.





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