LargeInCharge Magazine - Eight Years & Going Strong!

 Issue#105 - December 2012

Welcome to LargeInCharge Magazine

In this Issue of L.I.C.




Words of Wisdom from the Heart & Mind of Raqui


Good 4 U Food  ~ Xander


The Big GB Getting my Life Back after Gastric Bypass - Angie Bee


From the Desk of NAAFA

National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance


Fashion & Products with The WebGirl ~ Lucia Roth


Fattitude - Its a Fat way of Life ~ Pat Llewellyn


The B.I.G. - Beautiful Inspirational Girl  ~ Ms Suga


Big Girl, Small World - Gabriela Falarz


Dating Survival for Today's Woman

Kathy Hernandez


The Observer - Jness


LargeInChargeDating - Dating for the Large People who are going to be in Charge of their Love Lives!


LargeInCharge Friends - The Place for Big People to make Friends and maybe MUCH MORE!

LargeInCharge Writer's Search 
Have your own Column in
LargeInCharge Magazine!

Have your own Column in LargeInCharge Magazine APPLY NOW!

By: Raqui


Looking for new Writers for 2013



About Our Writers Search:

     LargeInCharge is looking for Volunteer Writers for our Online Magazine.  We are looking for Males and Females who wants to write about issues that concern large people.  We need people who will be dedicated to writing columns/interview once a month in a timely manner.  You do not need to be a professional writer,  Good writing, typing skills, the ability to spell check, understand grammar and have your article sent in on time is what we are looking for.


     We want to bring the voice of the people to the people.  Give them something they can related to and enjoy on a monthly basis.


    LargeInCharge is a non-profit Online magazine, which is why we are asking for Volunteer's.  This is a great opportunity to brush up on your writing skills, expand your writing experience/ portfolio, or to learn different writing styles.


NOTICE:  This is not a responsibility to be taken lightly.  You must be able to hand in one article on time monthly for a period of 12 months.  You will be asked to give in three stand by articles for you column for emergency purposes.  If you wish to continue after 12 months then you may stay if your track record is good.


We are looking for writers for the following Positions.

  • A Big Man's World - a writer who will write about living life as a Big Man in this Society.

  • Make- up, Medicine and Body - External to internal make your body feel and look great!

  • All Natural - Natural Remedies that help the body be balanced. Catering to Plus Sized People

  • Loving my Big Lady - From a Man who loves big women... to the Big women of the world.

  • Inspiration - Inspirational stories, interviews and articles on loving yourself as is.

  • Plus Sized Entertainment - Interesting Plus Sized people on TV and in theater.


Would you like to be a writer? Apply following the directions below.


     Send in the information below along with a clear photograph of yourself and one complete article at least 500 words.  Please make sure your article is matching the position your applying for.  If you are a versatile writer and applying for more than one position send in one article for each position. If you have an idea for your column which doesn't fit the above categories please give details about your idea for the column along with your sample.


     Any submissions maybe be used in the magazine as a guest article or other wise if you do not receive a position.  If you are picked for a position it will be used as a back up for your column in case of emergency.


I want to Apply for a Writers Position:


My Name is:

My email address is:

My Phone Number is:

My location/address is:

The position I am applying for is:


Here is my article:


I am allowing LargeInCharge to use my image and article as they see fit.  By typing my name and date I understand that I agree to the above.   NAME/DATE


Send to:   or you may submit via facebook if Raqui is your friend.


Thank you

Featured Interview


Thank you for Reading The LargeInCharge Feature


Vote for our Cover Model of the Year!

 Apply to be a 2013 Cover Model



Issue #96 - March 2012
Brooke Ochoa

Issue #97 - April 2012
Sicilia Curves

Issue #98 - May 2012
Lidia Chavaque

Issue #99 - June 2012
Kellie Waller

Issue #100 - July 2012
Amy Lucas

Issue #101 - August 2012
Michelle Swan

Issue #102 - September 2012
Dana Doll

Issue #103 - October 2012
Molly Roxx

Issue #104 - November 2012
Miz Liz

2013 LargeInCharge Cover Model Sponsors:

Jamberry with Aprile is going to have the Cover model of Years fingernails and toes
looking good. A Full set of Fingernail and Toenail application - Value 20.00


Website -
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Sista Big Bones Jewlery n Thangs - Blue Golden Lapiz Lazuli Sterling Silver Overlay Necklace valued at over $50.00 {sold in my store for only $25.00} this beautiful Blue Golden Lapiz Lazuli Sterling Silver Overlay Necklace features a 1 1/2" drop on an 18.5" Sterling Silver Overlay Chain {adjustable}


Full color digitally vector illustrated portrait of LargeInCharge Cover Model of the Year. Printed on roughly 8x10 card stock.  Value 125.00




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Kiki SistersKeeper Moore

The Sister's Keeper Deluxe Sample Set* includes one of each that is listed below. This is a great option for those that want to experience how Sister's Keeper products can enhance your skin and hair using all natural ingredients. Retails for $20 (MSRP $32.95)


Items included in the sampler are:

So Chic Hair Butter - Dip Hair & Body Moisturizer - Hair & Body Souffle' - Dream Whip Body Butter - NYLA Butter - CoCo Body Mouse - Exfoliating Brown Sugar Body Scrub - Goat's Milk Soap - Organic African Black Soap

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APPLY NOW to be a LargeInCharge Cover Model for 2013!






 It has been Nine years since LargeInCharge opened its online doors to the Big World.  We started with 740 readers March 2004.  We have built up to over a million readers a month.  We have continuously given the Big World article after article.  Fashion tips and clothing companies.   Hot events and self-esteem advice. Interesting information and cool products.  We have changed, grown and become better.  Online Magazines are the big now, doing better than physical paper magazines.  Any successful magazine must have an online presence.  LargeInCharge has been leading the way for the Plus Sized Community.


     Now with our Eighth annual Cover Model Search taking place we are beaming with pride.  LargeInCharge keeps our entrance to be a cover model free by using photographs that the person submits for our covers. We donít ask for an entry or submission fee from our models.  All we ask for is clear good photographs that would be considered portfolio type of pictures. At the end of the year we have a voting for the public and name one of them Cover Model of the Year he or she wins prizes and possibly money from our sponsors.


     Being a LargeInCharge cover model can be a great add on to your comp card or resume.  It can also be a feather in the cap of aspiring models.  So many beautiful and handsome big men and women who are not professional models can now be featured where they will be appreciated.  NO MORE SIZE 12 ONLY MODELS.  AGE DOESN'T MATTER.  NO MORE FETISH ONLY PICTURES. We like them professional, and in all sizes INCLUDING SUPER SIZED.  There are no limits with us.





NOTICE - Follow the Directions carefully, if you have a question you can email me and ask before you send in your entry.  Any Entries that are not sent in properly will be thrown out. Take the time to send in your entry properly.

Raqui does not Guide, Help, Preview, Custom Pick Photos of any model or submission. It is unfair to all applicants. All Males and Females are free to enter and encouraged to submit according to guidelines. - Thank you


Send In the following - You must send at least two of each.

         Two or more Head shots Black & White / Color - in your modeling attire

         Two or more Full body shot Black & White / Color - in your modeling attire



NOTE: the more pictures you send it the better.



Type of pictures

         Digital/scanned pictures only


         The Picture must represent you in your Current State

         Pictures must be of one person, no group shots.

         Pictures of Big Males and Females only.

         Pictures must be clear with no watermarks. (EXCEPTION: photographers watermark)

         Pictures cannot be smaller than 300 DPI, 800 x 600 pixels

         Pictures must be tasteful and fully clothed - Swimsuit and tasteful lingerie is allowed.

         Nude is not allowed unless it is artistic.  No private areas shown.

         If your pictures are professionally done be sure to have permission from the photographer.



Cell Phone Camera Images

Pictures with distracting backgrounds  - example: clutter

Webcam pictures

Pictures with Multiple people or with multiple people in the background

Poor lighting or photo shopped edited images

Images that do not meet the size requirement.



Pictures are well lit, clear and centered, background is clear and natural, proper size.

You are free to browse our past cover models to get an idea of what we are looking for.



Applications do not appear in back issues


What will I receive if I am picked to be a 2013 Cover Model

         You will be Showcased for the Month you appear as our Cover Model, appear on the cover and remain in our database.

         You will be entered in our Yearly Cover Model contest to win a Trophy and Prizes at the end of the year. 

         For the Cover Model of the Year - you will be featured as COVER MODEL OF THE YEAR for the New Years February edition. You will be required to update us with pictures and a statement.




Thanks for reading about our

Cover Model of the Month



     Raqui the Owner and Founder of, Raqui's  "Tell it like it is" style of writing has brought thousands to her blogs and millions to  There is so much behind the woman who has brought this magazine into existence.  Being Internationally known as a wrestler/squasher lead the way to modeling for companies and being featured in magazines and documentaries from all over the world.  She has made a career out of her size and personality. Born, Raised in the Bronx NYC. This city girl is taking the world by storm.


     For the past 8 years Raqui officially moved into Size Acceptance and Empowerment.  With the creation of LargeInCharge she took what she said to individuals to a higher level and made it public to the internet world. She is a woman who doesn't let things get to her.  Knock her down for the moment but she will rise up stronger and better.  Being a speaker on behalf of many subjects and counseling Plus Sized people online her grace and style has made people love her.  Raqui continues to set an example of a powerful woman who will bend the world to fit her, her way.


     Raqui's appearances include, Uk Television, German TV, Japan, Europe, Sweden and the Spanish circuit.  Her many magazines appearances have been world wide.  She has hit American Television in 2006 with Good Morning American and since has appeared on The Cristina Show,  The Maury Show and The Tyra Banks Show.

To view her Online portfolio visit

Raqui's New Blog titled Raqui-ism "Soulfully Speaking! -

go to Portfolio Section

Raqui-ism - Face to Face with a Nightmare

Written By: Raqui


I happened across the WWYD (What Would You Do) series on YouTube, and for about a week I was so into watching it.  The show What Would You Do is by Dateline NBC, they create scenarios in public with actors to see, what the average everyday person in public would do if a particular situation arose.  Would they help out, make a statement, stand up for someone, stay quiet and why would they do, what they did.  I found it very informative, how they public reacts to people because of age, race, sex, the way they are dressed, body stature, size, if they look mean or not etc. 

This show is very uplifting, when you see them create a scene in which a child is being treated unfairly; a woman obviously abused is in public with her abuser, people who are drunk trying to drive away.  The way the public sometimes bands together to stop injustice or to help a stranger they donít know is a actor for the show.  It can be very touching, something happened on the show that took me back to a few years ago when I had a What Would You Do moment.

It was more than a few years agoÖ more like 9 years ago.  I was doing something quite normal.  I was out shopping with my daughter who was about 8-10 years old.  We decided to wander around one of our regular spots in the Bronx, Parkchester Ave by the 2 line.  We went to check out some sneakers at foot locker, we then did some browsing at the pet store to see the animals, picked up some supplies, then went next door to the Burger King.  I donít particularly like Burger King but they have a play area and what kid you know doesnít want to play in the play area right?

What I liked about this burger king was there was a sectioned area a few steps up that had seating right by the play area with about six tables so you can watch your children right through the door of the play room.  The rest of the dining area was a few steps down and out in the open.  Before we eat, I tell my daughter to go play, and she is just enjoying herself when another mother arrives and makes her way to the same area.  We mothers think alike; letís grab a table by the play area.   She lays all her bags down and seats her child in the seat.

The mother was about my age, she was Spanish in nationality, not sure what kind, nice looking with a pretty cute Spanish little girl about 4 -5 years old.  I smile at her while she told her daughter to stay right there and not to move.  She walked about 15 feet over to the wait in line and order.  I then engrossed myself into my cell phone playing a game.  That is when I came face to face with a nightmare.

Being a New York native there are certain things about me since childhood I was taught by my parents actions and my environment.  I want to have my back to the wall so no one can come up behind me.  I made sure I not only picked the door closest to the playroom so nothing can come between me and my child, but also because it was a few steps higher up from the rest of the dining area and I can survey and see everything around me and out in front of me.  An added benefit was that I had no plants or other dťcor blocking my view (all of that was over to the side).  I donít think about it, I do this naturally years of training have a way of influencing a person.

While I play a game on my phone,  I like most moms watch everything out of my side eye (peripheral vision).  That is when I see a man who was all the way on the other side of the dining room fold his newspaper and head over in my direction. Within 2 minutes of the mother getting in line for food he was on his way over and sat down one table away from the child, spread his newspaper  on the table and began to fake read.

I watched carefully out my side eye faking looking at my phone.  I didnít want him to notice me watching him.  He glances several times at the child, she plays with a toy.  He folds then unfolded s his paper, I watch.  He glances at the mom still with a few people in front of her.


I begin to feel the jitters, and my mind races; my mind screams to itself



ďPLEASEÖ donít let me go to jail todayĒ!

I stop thinking and watch, my insides shake, and I must be on some bad medication, because I feel like a drug addict itching for a fix, only Iím not taking any medicine and the fix was to hurt this man.


Still I fake my game play while watching this man.

After a few glances in my direction, he doesnít pay me much mindÖ  I start to take down mental notes of what he looks like.  Spanish man, late 40ís, dark hair straight with a wave, mustache cut a bit on the old fashioned, light skinned Hispanic could pass for white in some circles.  He speaks in Spanish to the little girlÖ


She looks at him looks at her toy.

ďWhatís thatĒ  He says as he folds his newspaper up.

She waves her toy at him, showing it.

Everything in my brain is screaming to say something, but I want proof, I want to know this man means to take this girl before I say something.  He could just get up and walk away.

He moves closer to her and saysÖ  ďCome hereĒ while motioning to her and moving closer.

That was all I needed.  What are you doing? I ask with a strong voice

He snaps his head in my direction and we stare straight eye to eye.

You know what itís like to look straight into the eyes of a pedophile?  I mean a real take your babies from you while in burger king pedophile?  A nab your kid from you while your head it turned pedophile? I saw what I can only explain as a dead eye. Almost like he was in a hypnotic state and I shocked him back to reality. Emotions did register yet.

Being a mother I had so many things on my mind.  My child was literally five feet from me to my left.  This little girl was five feet from me to my right, and I was locking eyes with a man who crossed 20 feet of dining hall to get this child. 

He positioned himself in a similar way to the way I was.  Only my view point was to survey the area for safety and his was to look for a child. He picked a seat where he could survey the whole dining hall especially right across from the elevated play ground area and the seats which were there.  From his view point you canít see the child sitting with the bags surrounding her.  The playground seating was in a semi circle she was hidden from sight by the wall with boxed plants (the Dťcor).   He was watching waiting for the opportunity, a mother getting food while her child sat.  He had to have been watching the mother enter and then waited for the chance.

I donít know what kind of look I had on my face, but I saw fear in his eyes.   I saw guilt, I saw the OH SHIT I GOT CAUGHT LOOK! I realized how dark his eyes were and made a mental note of that. He then moved back to his seat looked down and folded his newspaper more and began to stand up.   I couldnít take my eyes off of him, I wanted to grab the chair next to me and beat him with it.  I wanted to choke him, I wanted to scream, I wanted to smash his face.  I wanted to dig those dark eyes out of his face.  But instead I sat there hands gripping the table, when my daughter comes out of the playroom and the man leaves quickly.

Mommy, Iím ready to eat now.  She said.

Ok you sure you donít want to play more?  I say trying to hide my distress.

She thinks and says ok just a few more minutes.  As she runs inside to slide the slide a few more times.  I breathe a sigh of relief.

I ask the little girl if she is ok.  She nods at me and continues to play with her toy.

I was nervous, I was looking for him but he was gone.  I realized how fast this all happened it wasnít any time at all and he was trying to take this child.

When the mother comes over with their food I tell her what happened.  She was so thankful and touched her child with concern.  I said please no matter what donít do that again if I wasnít paying attention or wasnít here anything could have happened.

When I got home I called my local police station but since he didnít try to take the child or rather I stopped him they could do anything.  They canít take a description put up a poster or anything.  I was furious then I blamed myself.

I could have done so many things but the presence of the children made me not get loud or violent.  I should have called the police.  Let him touch her or try to take her first.  I should have screamed for them to not let him get away.  I should have held him down.  All the ideas came out of me of what I should have done.  But I was frozen,  I donít think I really could believe I was seeing what I was seeing,  I was scared I would scare the little girl and my own child.  I was scared I would try to hurt him if I stood up and I would go to jail.  I just held the table and spoke up but I let him get away.  I LET HIM GET AWAY!

I did stop him from touching/taking this little girl but he is out there to watch and wait another day and I think about that sometimes, sometimes more than I wish to over these past 9 years.  Why the police couldnít at least take a description and compare it to the sex offender list in the area was because I didnít call them at the moment and report it.  I didnít detain the man and more so I didnít let him try to take her away.  If I had let him try and then stop him I would have proof to get him arrested.

It only took 60 seconds from the moment he sat down to the moment he moved in on the child. I guess I know What I Would Do in this situation, still I feel like I didnít do enough.  But at least He didnít take a child on my watch.




LargeInCharge Radio - Weekly Radio show discussing Plus Sized Issues.  Friday's 7-9 pm EST - Call in & Chat in our Chat Room.


Thank you for Reading Raqui-ism

Please send thoughts and comments to



     Xander brings blend of life experience and culinary twist to his writing. From cooking on television and live demonstrations, to writing Xander cookís like he feels. A former Chicago native transplanted to Tennessee, His goal has been to experience the fullness of food heritage. He believes that as a people and society, can learn a lot from what we eat. Combining a great life lesson and a easy recipe.  They go hand-in-hand to provide a tasty addition to your day. Xander has to confess that ingredients in a great meal are like the ingredients in a great life are never far apart.



Happy Birthday to Us All

by Xander The Food Dude


By the time your reading this is will be almost a year since the journey of my motherís multiple strokes had started.  She still cannot speak or walk, or has any movement in her right arm.  However she some movement in her right leg and she can say some words with effort, just not when she wants.


She has been home with me since the end of July and about 3 months has passed since out last visit to the hospital for some problem.  She still deals with various issues but we are working out way through them day by day. 


The one thing that everyone seems to note about her is that she is still fighting the fight.  She has not given up, even with the odds, and I beam with pride of my mother and her efforts.  Communication continues to be a struggle at times and we have our arguments but we get through them.  This whole ride began on December 13, 2011.   Through the care and prayer from others, I remain in awe of the power of faith and love from others.


I told my mother that we would be celebrating the 13th because it was, in a way, a day off birth for her.  A whole new life would begin for her and I.  She has become my biggest hero in the way she has chosen to face the day with a better outlook than the day before despite not knowing what the new day will bring.


It has changed many of my perspectives on life, just seeing how she deals with her life. These close calls in the past year have changed me as her son, her caregiver, and as a person.  Many things have changed.  Some of the grander things that have changed are things like:  I hug her many times as day, everyday, I tell her I love her many times a day, everyday.  Even though our conversation are not two way, we seem to talk more and have a stronger bond than ever.  Iíve learned that things I never thought I could do, I can and the recent realization of that single has changed me in ways that I want to capitalize in this year. 


I have a great need to pass along the inspiration on to others in similar situations that they like my mother not give up as she has become a far better example of courage that I ever have been or could be.  Others need to know, how you can battle back, than small advances are huge advances and that we need to grasp on to those advances with all our might to give us strength, courage, and faith for that new day.


Oddly enough in the process of writing this article even though I referenced to the new birthday for my mom, it seems that nearly a year after her first stroke I look at this almost filled page of words, I have just had my birthday.  For all of you who have so kindly said prayer or thought good thoughts for my motherís well being I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart.  Even though we may not know each other, I can only say that I love you all as a brother or sister of this human race that we belong.


I hope that in this month of miracles, that all your months are filled with hope, love, and faith.  May you all be blessed at all times.



Xander's Recipe of the Month

Spicy Chipotle-Chorizo Lasagna


1 lb. bulk Mexican chorizo sausage*
1 medium onion, chopped

1 (15-oz.) container whole milk ricotta cheese
1/3 cup grated Parmesan or hard Jack cheese
1 egg
1/2 cup chopped cilantro
1/4 teaspoon salt

1 (28-oz.) can diced tomatoes in puree or chunky tomato sauce
2 (14.5-oz.) cans diced tomatoes with green chiles
2 teaspoons chopped chipotle chiles in adobo sauce**

12 oven-ready lasagna noodles
1 lb. shredded Mexican 3-cheese blend
Cilantro sprigs or chopped cilantro for garnish

1. Heat large skillet over medium heat until hot. Crumble chorizo into skillet; cook 5 to 7 minutes or until browned, adding onion halfway through and stirring occasionally.

2. Whisk ricotta cheese, Parmesan cheese and egg in medium bowl. Stir in 1/2 cup cilantro and salt.

3. Combine all sauce ingredients in medium bowl.

4. Heat oven to 350įF. Spread 1 cup of the sauce over bottom of 13x9-inch glass or ceramic baking dish. Place 3 of the lasagna noodles in dish (they wonít touch each other). Spread with one-third of the ricotta filling; sprinkle with one-third of the chorizo mixture. Sprinkle with 1 cup of the 3-cheese blend; spread with one-fourth of the remaining sauce. Repeat two more times. Finish with a layer of noodles; spread with remaining sauce. (Lasagna can be made to this point 1 day ahead. Cover and refrigerate. Remove from refrigerator 30 minutes before baking. Add about 10 minutes to baking time.)

5. Tightly cover with foil; bake 45 minutes. Sprinkle with remaining 1 cup 3-cheese blend. Bake, uncovered, 15 minutes or until cheese is melted and bubbly and noodles are tender.

6. Let stand 15 minutes before serving. Garnish with cilantro.

TIPS *Chorizo is a spicy pork sausage used in Mexican and Spanish cooking. Use the uncooked Mexican chorizo in this recipe, not the smoked Spanish version. It can be found in the meat department of some grocery stores or Latin markets. If unavailable, substitute another highly seasoned sausage.
**Chipotle chiles in adobo sauce can be found in the Hispanic section of the supermarket. Remove veins and seeds for less heat. Refrigerate remaining chiles for about 1 week.





Thank you for Reading Good Food 4U

By Xander the Food Dude

Please send thoughts and comments to


Angie BEE grew-up a standard-sized young woman, educated in communications, promotions and planning.  She became a wife, mother and ministry support member while building businesses and her faith.

Through stress, age and a poor diet and while suffering from major depression and attempted suicide, Angie BEE's weight climbed from 180 pounds to 360 pounds.  She was diagnosed with high blood pressure, diabetes, obstructive sleep apnea, an overactive bladder and poor leg circulation.  At the age of 40 an anxiety attack and the decline in her mental health forced her to stop work and look at improving her declining health.  It was during this time that Angie BEE became inspired by her younger sister Sonya Bennett during her process towards Gastric Bypass Surgery.  Sonya launched this column and will return occasionally to contribute to it, but now that she is three years-post surgery... her life is focused on something new!

Now, celebrating her first year of a new life since having the procedure herself, Angie BEE is healthier than she has been in over a decade.  Losing the first 100 pounds was just the bonus!  She is now diabetes-free.  She has normal blood pressure.  The circulation in her legs is normal.  She sleeps without a c-pap machine and more!  The joy that she feels is documented each day in her syndicated radio show, a brand new weekly  TV show documentary and each month in this article.  The Big GB stands for The BIG Gastric Bypass and it also stands for "Getting (my life) Back".  This article reflects how Angie BEE's life has improved... by the grace of God and as the result of having Gastric Bypass surgery on Feb 28, 2011.  This is now her life!


Four Years Later and the Tool Still Works

with Angie Bee



As some readers may know, I had the pleasure of adopting this space from my sister, Sonya B. who was the author of :


As Large In Charge closes out 2012, I thought I would pass the baton back to her for this issue.  See you in 2012.. Enjoy!  -- Angie Bee


April has been a month for miracles: April 13, 2008, I had the pleasure of starting my life over by having the gastric bypass surgery at Barix Clinics in Ypsilanti, Michigan and April 3, 2012, I was blessed with my first and only daughter at the Ďtenderí age of 41 J  My doctor and other medical professionals warned that trying to have a successful, 40-week pregnancy after weight loss surgery would be high-risk, to say the least; however, I heard the same types of warnings after many decisions Iíve made in my life.  Due to the way my body now absorbs food/liquids and the small amounts that I consume for nourishment, the fetus would surely take everything from me so my vitamins and additional folic acid, complete bed rest and extra liquids would be mandatory if I wanted to have a healthy baby.  Iím proud to say that my daughter was born 6 pounds 6 ounces in my 40th week of pregnancy and, thank God, without medical incident.  I gained 25 pounds and lost it within two weeks after delivery; four years later and the tool still works.

Thanksgiving and my seven-month old daughter is using those new teeth, to enjoy some of the family favorites!  As I prepared the plate that she and I would share, I reveled in the fact that others around me were ready for their second portions before we had completed our first and I smiled, proud of myself that Iíll teach my daughter the significance of food: nourishment, not comfort.  Hugs are an acceptable reward, not dessert.  Fruits and vegetables are staples, not punishment.  As I ended the evening with a slice of the delicious pound cake I made from scratch that everyone enjoyed, I found myself looking for a bag to be on the side of my bed for the inevitable dumping that followed; four years later and the tool still works.

Time has flown by and watching my baby advance, I remember the Ďbaby stagesí after the surgery: liquid, baby/pureed/soft foods and eventually back to solids.  I recall being scared to go back to solids, wondering if Iíd regurgitate them or how my body would receive them and I note the same things with her.  The minimal solid foods that she receives at this point are reduced to small sizes for easier consumption and that wasnít my foundation: the Ďfinish-your-plate clubí was the motto in my family; Ďchildren are starving in Somaliaí; constant guilt of why the huge plates of food should be cleaned before I could leave the table.  The lessons that Iíve learned since surgery surround making logical choices and I plan to pass that knowledge onto the next generation that Iíve created.  Plates can be Ďcleanedí when they arenít made large enough to feed a small country lol; four years later and the tool still works.

Everything in moderation, six-small meals a day, water versus sugary drinks and daily vitamins; simple concepts that arenít always easy to adhere to, but can help one maintain a healthy weight and good health Ė four years later and the tool still works!  Weight loss surgeries are not for everyone, they are a major decision that should never be taken lightly; as every surgery is.  For me, it was a choice that I believe was life-saving, life-changing and prepared me for the ultimate blessing: giving life.  As the new year approaches, I wish you peace and happiness, love and good health and encourage you to follow the path necessary to live versus Ďexistingí.



See Ya!

Sonya B. 




Angie BEE

Author, Magazine Publisher, Producer, Promoter &

The Host of The Hottest Home Hotspot WORLDWIDE

Syndicated Holy Hip Hop Radio Show

Last Week I wanted to Die!




Thanks for reading

The Big GB - My Gastric Bypass Memoirs

Sonya's Links:

Sonya Bennett on Facebook

     Founded in 1969, NAAFA is a non-profit civil rights organization dedicated to improving the quality of life for fat people. NAAFA works to eliminate discrimination based on body size and provide fat people with the tools for self-empowerment through public education, advocacy, and member support.


     This Column is dedicated to the tremendous work NAAFA has been doing for over four decades.  LargeInCharge wishes to support NAAFA in spreading the word of its work, and give the public more information into issues we as plus sized people should be aware of.  The fight for equality for people of all sizes is one we support.


     This Column will include News Releases and Calls to Action from NAAFA Directors.


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Good News Regarding Southwest Airlines




Southwest Airlines has just introduced some positive changes to their policy regarding passengers of size.  The really good news is that they will no longer ďforceĒ passengers of size to buy a second seat at the gate if the gate agent believes the passenger will require more than one seat.  They still suggest that you purchase a second seat in advance in order to insure that the space you need is available without asking someone else to give up a seat, but another of the changes is that they will refund your money upon request for that second seat, whether or not the flight is full. 

Southwest now provides a very clear seat-belt extender policy which requires that you use only one seat belt extender and you must use their seat belt extenders, not your own personal extender.  This change may negatively impact some passengers of size and prohibit flying with Southwest if you require more than one seatbelt extender.

The new policy page on the Southwest website provides clear instruction for buying your second seat on-line or phoning their agent to purchase that second seat at their child fare.  Be sure to take a close look at their new policy page at:


Before you make any plans to fly, be sure to check out Travel tips for people of size available on our homepage at   May your travel be safe and pleasurable!






Thanks for reading

From the Desk of NAAFA



Our WebGirl Lucia Roth, was born in New Orleans, Louisiana. Graduated with a B. A. degree in Communication from Southeastern Louisiana University and is considering going back for her Masters degree. Lucia a people person and is always willing to help out a friend in need. She enjoys music, movies, poetry, and good book on a rainy day. Lucia has several mottos about life.

This is one: Knowledge talks, wisdom listens.


I just wanted to re- introduce myself, since I just joined Large In Charge magazine last year. My name is Lulu, and I am a fashion writer for I am a fashion junkie:) I look forward to finding wonderful fashion find and product of the month for you. I also look forward to chatting with you all an reading some good fashion comments!


Please let me know if you have a favorite.



The WebGirl Picks of the Month

Fashion Find Product of the Month

Fashion Find  -  eShakti

Fashion Find Type:  Fall/Clearance Sale (Limited Time)

 Price: Varies


eShakti has an assortment of tops, skirts, and dresses available in sizes xs to 6x. They release new styles and fabrics every season.  Each design can be purchased as is in your size or it can be personally customized. For example the dress at right can be ordered with a longer skirt length and many others can have both the sleeves and length adjusted. The clothing is well made and quite affordable. Dresses range in price from $60 to $100, tops range in price from $30 to $50 and skirts range in price from $40 to $60.


The added customization I mentioned is only $7.50

Product of the Month

Recommended by: Lucia

Name of Product: Microsoft

Type of Product:  Surface Notepad

Where Product can be found:

Description: This is my alternative to the Apple IPad and its super cute and the pricingÖ affordable! On my Christmas list.



Pat is a forty something woman living in Southern Ontario, Canada. She has a varied past and has worked teaching literacy and English as a second language to adults, as an environmental science technician and in the health and safety field. Currently she works in marketing.

Pat fiercely believes in human rights for all and has volunteered for organizations that raise funds and develop and implement programs to help impoverished people and educate women in third world countries. Although relatively new to the size acceptance movement, Pat believes with all her heart that people of size deserve equal treatment and respect.

In her spare time she likes to read fiction, go to bashes and spend time with friends.


Try A Little Kindness

with Pat Llewellyn



My concern with the size acceptance movement isnít from outside detractors, itís about the infighting. Time and time again I see people tear each other apart over our differences. Itís extremely tiring and itís gotten old. Iíve seen people attacked because they want to lose weight, they are a SSBBW, they too small, they dress too conservatively, they show too much skin, they are slutty or they have a kink we donít like/agree with.

Until we agree what people do with their bodies and in their personal lives are their own business we are going to flounder.

Itís frustrating to see my friends apologizing for wanting to lose weight. More than one person I know has been made to feel they are betraying the cause because they have decided that their life would be improved if they lost weight.

Instead of imposing your moral beliefs on others, recognize that others donít have to think or act like you and thatís ok. You are responsible for your actions and the actions of other people do not affect the person you are.

In other words, be kind.

When you want to pass judgement or when you want to say something negative just stop yourself. React with compassion and understanding. Acknowledge that what they are doing isnít what you would do, but thatís ok.

Be kind.

Donít lose sight of the big picture.

Remember we are fighting for the same thing. We are fighting for the right to exist, to be treated with respect and dignity. We are fighting to be treated with kindness.




     Ms Suga is a plus size woman hailing from Sunny South Florida. She is a 24 year old recent recipient of a Bachelor in Arts degree in Communication Studies. Being plus size for the majority of her life she has overcome many obstacles to finally come to the point where she is fully content with herself and her life. This self love has also allowed Ms Suga the privilege of sharing her love with those around her. She is very passionate about life and loves to help others.

     Ms Suga likes to see herself as the one everyone can go to for positive, inspirational and truthful words of advice and/or support. She is the Beautiful Inspirational Girl that is blessed, intellectual, trustworthy, caring and hardworking.

     Ms Suga has had a passion for writing since she was a little girl when she used to think of short stories about what her life would be like as she got older. This is Ms Sugaís first opportunity for her thoughts to be public for the world to see. Excited about this column Ms Suga is also very optimistic of her future in writing and promoting self love and acceptance in the plus size community.


I Am.....

with Ms Suga



So I was watching Oprah's Life Class with Pastor Joel Olsten a couple weeks back and they were talking about how often we speak negativity into our lives. Little did I know, while watching this show my brain was forming something Oprah has coined an "Aha Moment."

Letís take a step back and let me give the background for my "Aha moment." A week before I was watching Dr. Oz (I know I know too much tv) and actress Valerie Bertinelli was on talking about her weight loss journey and how to maintain her ideal weight. Valerie stated that she had to change her lifestyle if she wanted to obtain and maintain her goal (I'm paraphrasing! Don't quote me!) Any way Valerie also said that every morning before she gets out of bed she 1st thanks God and then she does her "I amsĒ. Wheels starting up, I heard what she said then I changed the channel.

The next night in bible study one of the women in my group said that every day she speaks positivity into her life and everything she states that she is, she works to make it true. Now I'm not sure if your wheels are turning yet but mine were and I had no idea what was forming.

So...Back to Life Class. Pastor Joel Olsten said that we as individuals speak negativity onto ourselves everyday and don't realize it. The next statement slammed all the pieces in place. He said "Whatever follows I am will come looking for you." Oh course it hit Oprah right away but unfortunately not so instantaneous for me. A few minutes went by and my mind traveled. What did Valerie Bertinelli say?? She speaks positivity..."I am..." And the lady at bible study? She had to stop speaking negative and realized that "I am..." Pastor Joel Olsten "Whatever follows I AM will come looking for you."

AHA!! I AM...

Now that I've laid the foundation let me help you build the walls. As stated by others we speak negativity onto ourselves all the time. I can't tell you many times have I said "I am lazy" or "I am tired." And I really felt that way. You ever have a lot to do and say to yourself I'm tired and then seconds later you yarn? Or you say I am lazy and literally don't accomplish anything that day? You may not believe me but its all about the power of suggestion. Just like when someone yarns and you yarn too.

Take a minute to evaluate this theory and then I encourage you to challenge it. Try for one week, 7days, to speak nothing but positivity. When you're tired tell yourself "I CAN get my work done." When you're feeling lazy say "I AM going to the gym." When you have to pay that unexpected bill say "I CAN pay this because I have a JOB that handles my necessities." And when things seem to be at their lowest say "I AM alive and strong enough to get through this!"

You might roll your eyes at me and my Aha moment but hey...has Ms. Suga steered you wrong yet? Every time we meet I encourage you to try a different perspective. As always if you feel it's not for you, then it's not for you. But don't shoot down something without at least trying it first. If it doesn't work then you tried and you can say that you tried. I encourage you to live with as few regrets as possible. So with that I'll leave you with a few of my daily "I am's" feel free to take them and make them your own.


Many blessings
Ms. Suga



Gabriela Falarz lives in Toronto, Canada. She has been up and down the scale for most of her life (mostly up), and is proud to say that she loves herself no matter what her size, although it has definitely been an evolution.


She blogs about size acceptance in her blog, Celebreight Yourself (  Gabriela discovered Large in Charge Radio about a year ago and has been hooked ever since. She is thrilled to be writing for Large in Charge and to be part of an organization that helps all large people realize how beautiful, special, and amazing they are.


It's Been a Slice

with Gabriela Falarz



I am saying hello, Large in Charge readers, just before I say goodbye. Due to other obligations that are taking up an increasing amount of my time, I will be retiring this column.


It has been a wonderful experience writing for you, sharing my thoughts, and being part of Raqui's wonderful online community. I hope that what I shared here with you struck a chord, made you think, made you smile, or at the very least entertained you.


I will leave you with this.


Recently, I have embarked on a healthier lifestyle. It's not because I am fat. It's because I was living a pretty unhealthy lifestyle. People can live unhealthy lifestyles whether they're thin or fat, and that's what I was doing. My older brother was also diagnosed with Type II diabetes fairly recently, and seeing what he has gone through really made me think. I am in total awe of him. He had to completely change his diet and eat far less than he used to, and he has done remarkably well. I started thinking: wow ... I'm not as young as I used to be. I realized that sooner or later, unless I change my ways, I could very well end up with the same diagnosis ... and I don't want that to happen.


I wanted to make sure I found a trainer who would understand what it's like to be a large person ... and I did. I actually saw her on a morning news show a few months back, and she stuck in my mind. I never forgot about her. Her name is Christina, and at one time, she weighed approximately 400 lbs. She is now a personal trainer, hundreds of pounds lighter, and she is absolutely wonderful -- very compassionate and non-judgmental, but motivational as well. I wanted to make sure I hired someone like her, who knows what it is like to be a large person and has empathy for what we go through.


I don't know if I will lose a significant amount of weight or not, but that is not my primary goal anyway. My primary goal is simply to feel better physically and emotionally. The truth is, I was starting to feel not very happy with myself ... with the way I looked and the way I was living. Something had to change.


I know for a fact that you do not have to be thin to be happy. I also know that you have to love what you do to be happy ... and that includes what you put in your body and how you take care of it. I simply wasn't taking very good care of myself. Binging on junk food, neglecting my body by not giving it enough nutrients or movement ... and I was starting to feel the effects.


Will I ever be thin? Never ... but I have vowed to be healthier. And I am on my way.


I wish all of you the same ... health, happiness, vitality, joy, contentment ... in whatever size or form it comes in. Remember, it's not about size ... it's about how you feel inside.


All the best!





Kathy is originally from a small town in Michigan but has lived in San Diego County since she's been 18 years old.  Kathy graduated from San Diego State University with a Bachelors in Finance in 1999.   She has a real estate brokerís license and works as a mortgage banker.  


Kathy also owns BBW Club Catalina in San Diego which has monthly night club parties and other fun events on a frequent basis.  Kathy has been an avid supporter of NAAFA, Vegas BBW Bash and San Diego BBW Bash and believes in size acceptance and health at every size.  


Kathy is a firm believer that people need to have a full life by going to the movies, dinner, bowling, dancing and anything that will make them a happier person and not wait till they are at the perfect size to start living their life to the fullest. 


Kathy is in her mid-40's and her children are grown and living productively on their own.   In her spare time she likes trying new restaurants, dancing, modeling, bowling and spending time with family and friends.



Making Healthy Personal Life Choices

 with Kathy Hernandez

 Are you having the Holiday Blues because you are single?


The holidays can be a time of great joy and happiness especially when we spend it with our loved ones which can consist of family, friends and our significant other. We think about attending holiday dinner parties at Thanksgiving and Christmas when we have the big turkey or ham and we are surrounded by the love of our friends and family. The holiday activities and traditions like getting a Christmas Tree and driving around to look at all the festive holiday lights on houses and business buildings are things we look forward to each year. The holiday season also seems to bring a lot of engagements and weddings too but what if you are single and wish you had already found your soul mate? The holiday season seems more complete to have a boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife to most of us but being single isn't something to have the holiday blues about. I've been single for many holidays in my adult life and sure once in awhile I felt a little down and wished I had that someone special to be with me during this festive time but there are many things to do to get back into the holiday spirit and know that being single isn't a reason to be sad. The more active you are doing positive activities whether it's doing things for yourself like taking a dancing class, helping out at the local homeless shelter or spending time with your family and friends than the less lonely you will feel. I have seen people who stay at home and don't get out and do things like seeing a movie, girls nights out, family trips and have just made their sadness and depression much worse because they are focusing on being sad and unhappy. Here are some things to do to make you smile, feel appreciated, feel loved and most importantly for you to know that being single isn't a social stigma and it's alright to focus on yourself until the right person comes along.


1. Volunteer at the library teaching people to read, volunteer at a homeless shelter, do a food drive and collect needed non perishable foods for the local food bank who helps people through tough financial times. Giving back to your community is something that is needed and will make you feel great knowing you have done what you can whether it is donating financially or donating your free time to a non profit organization.


2. Spend the day pampering yourself at a spa, get your nails and your toes polished, get a therapeutic massage, go to the movies and have a nice dinner out. Yes you can go to the movies and dinner by yourself and have a great time!!


3. Have a holiday party and invite your friends to decorate your Christmas tree and home. There's nothing better than being surrounded by your friends and getting some one on one time together to catch up on what is going on in each others lives.


4. Buy yourself something you have always wanted but you keep on questioning if you are worth the money.. of COURSE you are!!! If you want the new jacket, gold earrings, bracelet or a new hair style than treat yourself because when you are happy with yourself than this will show to the world and people who are happy will gravitate towards you which surrounds you with happy and positive people.


5. Keep your distance from people who are negative and their lives are filled with drama. I know this is easier said than done and it will take some time for people to realize that you want to be in their lives in a positive way and just won't tolerate being dragged into their negativity and drama. I like the saying "I'm too blessed to be stressed" and when your friends see how positive and happy you are this will hopefully rub off on them too.


Embrace the fact that you are single and have a full and happy life right now because your happiness should never be dependent on another person entirely. The most successful and happy relationships are built from two people who were happy and productive being single and their happiness is only enhanced by finding that special someone to share their life with.





Celebrating almost 2 decades as a Graphic Designer/Published Illustrator, Jean Nerestant Jr (Jness) got his start as a graphic artist in 1994, Still working as a graphic designer by day/ Jness devotes time to his hip hop Culture, comic book art and Plus size/BBW Art.




with Jness


This article concludes a year of writing this column. It was my first real long-term session of writing the artistís perspective of the plus-size story for the world. I wasnít sure which way it would go, and I admit itís still a work in progress. I still have unexplored plans for different article concepts. Thank you for reading every month (minus the hurricane SANDY-related hiccup last month). Thank you Raqui (Our Editor & Chief), for believing in me and providing a well-tested platform to wield my pen. Itís been great having another vehicle of communication besides my art! As she proofs this article, she finds my response to her question, YES, RAQUI, I will be onboard for another year of writing with your elite team of dedicated writers! Absolutely!


This issue I bring you a new illustration that I am really excited about. It is done in the traditional techniques frequently seen in my graffiti black books, itís nice to go back to my creative roots from time to time. This illustration is a mixed medium effort using ink, alcohol-based markers and paint markers. The piece is entitled ďWarriorsĒ itís subtitle is ďTreeĒ. It features plus-sized female warriors, they are garbed in scarlet to represent womanhood, and gold to represent elegance. It gives a nod to the plus-sized single moms out there dealing with the challenges of size discrimination as well as the challenges of parenting alone.


It has been known for years that men have historically been view as the hunters and warriors, whereas women were traditionally the gathers and caregivers of the family. Well as times would have it due to the changes in the American family structure among other reasons more and more women have had to play both rolls in their households. This artwork is a shout-out to all those single moms out there and even more specifically to the plus-sized moms doing what seems impossible everyday of their lives. My wife and I have been married 20 years and no matter what my teenage kids say (hey, its my article! Lol! ) we make a very good parental team, itís still challenging. My hat goes off to those who dive these deep waters alone.


It is very easy to take the things we do everyday for granted because truthfully our daily undertakings become routine, but that doesnít negate the fact that it takes great effort to push past our own challenges and issues to provide selflessly for another human being who God has entrusted in your care. Countless challenges are on the mind of the plus-sized mom everything from the bills, her health, how she feels about herself and the welfare of her children. Society owes her a debt of gratitude for not dropping the ball no matter how high the odds stack up against her. Itís very easy to throw your hands up and say ďI give up, I canít do it!Ē and just quit. But, thatís not what real warriors do, they look the opposition right in the eye and they keep fighting, and fight even harder.


Thank you for fighting the good fight and winning everyday!





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