Cover Model of the Month!
New York Native
Want to be a
LargeInCharge Cover Model? Download the Application for 2013 -
LargeInCharge.com: What is your name?
Jari: Jaritza but everyone calls me Jari
LargeInCharge.com: Where are you from and what is your current
Jari: I am from New York, Raised in The Bronx my whole life. Still
LargeInCharge.com: Can you give us some information about yourself
(Age, Height, Size, Nationality, Marital Status, Children, etc.)?
Jari: I am 27 years old, 5’7”, 270 lbs (size 20), Dominican, in a
relationship with my best friend, very much so in love with her. I
do not have children yet but I do have nieces whom are my world.
LargeInCharge.com: Were you a big child, or did you gain weight
later in life?
Jari: I was always a “BIG” girl gowning up. Always was the biggest
in the family, biggest one out of my cousins, the biggest in every
grade. LOL, I was always the “BIG ONE”
LargeInCharge.com: (If you were a big child) how did you feel
growing up as a large child?
Jari: I was big gowning up. Never really notice at home because my
family was great with me. Never notice my weight till I went
outside. Junior High School was hard, because some of the kids were
really mean, but once I got home my mother and father always let me
know that everyone was not going to be kind. My dad always told me
that I just had to live my life that the world was big enough for
everyone to live in it.
LargeInCharge.com: What made you decide to enter the LargeInCharge
Jari: I have always wanted to be a BBW or Plus Size Model even when
I was 410 lbs. Always
felt the need to show the world that yes one can be Fab, Large and
In Charge! I need to show other Plus Size women that we can be sexy,
we are sexy, and we are wanted by men and women.
That the world is big enough for us to live our lives how we
LargeInCharge.com: Did you find it a hard journey to be accepted for
your size, and do you find acceptance among your family and friends?
Jari: My family and friends are awesome! I don’t have many sob sad
story but I do have a few. My family never worried about my size
just for worried for my well-being and health. As long as they knew
I was healthily they were happy. My friends are my second support
system, I am happy to say that I have a great group of friends that
have always loved me just the way I am. No one ever asked me to
change myself. My circle has always accepted me for who I was, who I
am and who I will become.
LargeInCharge.com: What would you say inspires you most in life?
Jari: My nieces! They make me want to be a person in life. They help
me think twice. I try to be the person I want them to be come. I
know they watch what I do, I am a role model not by choice but I
know I have to be because I love them that much.
LargeInCharge.com: What is your primary occupation, and how did you
get into this line of work?
Jari: I am an Inventory Taker. I needed something that would pay the
bills. But what matters is that I am happy while doing it.
LargeInCharge.com: Do you find acceptance in the work force?
Jari: I have never had problems in the work force. Some places are
more shallow then ours but other than that never had a negative
LargeInCharge.com: What changes do you believe should take place for
Large People in the work force?
Jari: First, what needs to happen is that the people or person that
is doing the hiring needs to know and understand that we are just
lager not disable. We move, we talk, we walk and we can work just as
well or maybe ever better than the person they hired just because
they are thinner. One doesn’t work better just because they are
thinner. One works because they are a hard worker.
LargeInCharge.com: What do you think about the fashion industry for
big sized clothing?
Jari: I am a fashion! I love clothes and colors. I love the hunt for
clothes. I think some big girls don’t really give it a chance. They
don’t really look. The clothes is in store and the wide range of
plus size clothes online is really endless. Shopping online has made
it much easier.
LargeInCharge.com: What do you wish to see change with the fashion
Jari: Well, I can really say that the fashion industry has changed a
lot in the past 15 years. What I would like to see is just more
shape and structure to clothes. Sometimes I find nice clothes but
they are shapeless. Yes, we are big but we also have curves we want
to show off. They clothes is out there and I know it has lots to do
with the internet.
LargeInCharge.com: Tell us some of the places you buy your clothing
from. Do you have any
Jari: I go to a thrift shop a lot! I do some online shopping also,
Onestopplus.com Torrid.com Ebay.com LaneBryant.com AshleyStewart.com
OldNavy.com Forever21.com JessicaLondon.com Avenue.com. Not only do
I shop online I go to the stores as well. They best tips I can give
is “TRY IT ON” & “WEAR YOUR SIZE”. You really never really know how
it looks on you until you try it on. And if it doesn’t fit find
something that does, don’t stress it!
do you prepare for a Photo shoot?
What should aspiring models be prepared for?
Jari: Well, I have never really had a photo shoot. I have my very
first photo shoot soon and I am very nervous. I would say just don’t
let your nerves get the best of you. When you see that camera flash
pretend it is your cellphone and work it!
LargeInCharge.com: Look at Size acceptance five years ago... look at
size acceptance now.
What changes do you see?
Jari: I see that more people are more accepting because there are
more big people now. We are no longer hiding because we do not fit
in. We have become “the norm”. People are no longer as scared as
they use to be. I think the more comfortable we become with our size
so will the people around us.
LargeInCharge.com: Tell us about your goals as far as modeling and
Jari: I want to take over the BBW community, LOL. I want every big
girl & guy to know my name. I really just want to show people that
big is sexy, and fun. I am a big fan of the arts. Acting, fashion,
drawing, I just love to feel alive! I enjoy showing my talents not
to show off but to show that full figured women are talented as
have you accomplished as a Plus Sized Model?
Jari: Modeling is an art form. I want to do it not only for me but
for every single girl that has ever wanted to be a model and has
been told no. For every girl that has been told that she is not thin
or pretty enough to model. I am here to show them that yes you can,
not to let anyone tell them that they are not good enough to do
something. I want them to look at me and say to themselves that they
will at least try to do something they want to do. Trying is not
going to hurt anyone. At least they can say they really tired.
you entered or won any Contests, Pageants or Awards?
What was the experience like?
Jari: Nope, I was going to enter a pageant but didn’t have the money
to do so. But once I have the money to enter I am going to do it. I
will do it.
LargeInCharge.com: Can you tell us about an inspirational moment in
your life that made you feel good about your size.
Jari: On time on was on the train heading to a big girl club to get
my dance on. And I was sitting down just minding my business when a
very very good looking man came up to me and asked if he could sit
next to me. I said, “of course you can”. He opened his mouth and
said “I am not attracted to big women but I had to tell you that you
have one of the prettiest faces I have seen in a while”. “As soon as
I got on the train the first thing I saw was your smile”. I blushed
and said “Thank you”. That to me showed me that my weight has
nothing to do with my beauty. It’s just fat, it don’t not make who I
am as a person. He showed me that my body had a small percentage to
do with who I am.
LargeInCharge.com: Is there a person in your life that makes you
Jari: My mother, no matter what I do, what I say and what happens
she is never there to tell me “I told you so”. She always it there
to hold me and to just give me that helping hand when I am need it.
No judgment. She takes me with my flaws and all.
LargeInCharge.com: What advice would you give to other people of
size who want to model?
Jari: JUST DO IT! Do what your heart wants! Pay no mind to others
and what they think. Do what makes you happy and makes your heart
LargeInCharge.com: Which plus size figure do you most admire?
Jari: Melissa McCarthy, She is so funny! Every time she opens her
mouth I pee my pants. She is not only funny, but every single time
she steps out on to the red carpet she is flawless. She is classy
and elegant with the right amount of sassiness.
LargeInCharge.com: Describe yourself with one word.
Thanks for reading about
Cover Model of the Month
Raqui the Owner and Founder of LargeInCharge.com, Raqui's "Tell it like it is" style of
writing has brought thousands to her blogs and millions to
LargeInCharge.com. There is so much behind the woman who has
brought this magazine into existence. Being Internationally
known as a wrestler/squasher lead the way to modeling for companies
and being featured in magazines and documentaries from all over the
world. She has made a career out of her size and personality.
Born and Raised in the Bronx NYC. This city girl is taking the world by
For almost a decade Raqui officially moved into Size Acceptance and Empowerment.
With the creation of LargeInCharge she took what she said to
individuals to a higher level and made it public to the internet
world. She is a woman who doesn't let things get to her. Knock her
down for the moment but she will rise up stronger and better.
Being a speaker on behalf of many subjects and counseling Plus Sized
people online her grace and style has made people love her. Raqui continues to set an example of a powerful woman who will bend
the world to fit her, her way.
Raqui's appearances include, Uk Television, German TV, Japan, Europe,
and the Spanish circuit. Her many magazines appearances have
been world wide. She has hit American Television in 2006 with
Good Morning American and since has appeared on The Cristina Show,
The Maury Show and The Tyra Banks Show.
To view her Online
Raqui's Blog titled Raqui-ism "Soulfully
www.Raqui.com Portfolio Section
Raqui-ism - Worthy Charities 2013
Written By: Raqui
This year LargeInCharge
has begun its 9th year moving toward our 10th. I challenged myself
this year by starting my own little quest
toward learning, giving, and expanding my own mind, by donating to a
new charity every month. I hope that you all will enjoy
learning about these new charities with me.
I began to
understand that most of us only donate to a charity
if we have an emotional connection to the charity itself or someone
who is trying to raise money for a cause. One day when I
happen to dismiss a charity that was asking for donations, I realized
I dont want to be that person. I want to give because the
cause is worthy and I can. Not only because of an emotional
connection. So join me in learning about new causes and
charities this year. I will post a new one to my column every
CHARITY OF THE MONTH: Red Cross - Oklahoma Torado Victims
Yes the Charity Pick for this month is a repeat.
After so many were affected in Oklahoma how can I not give to the
Charity that helps were the need is great. Make your donation
today! Ever dollar counts.
Click the Banner Above to Make a Donation to The American Red Cross
If you were like me and most of America, your eyes were
glued to news reports or the weather channell, as Oklahoma
suffered from Tornado after tornado during May of 2013.
Some of us hoping the storm doesnt come our way, some of us
horrified by what was happening and praying for our friends and
family. Worse yet some were preparing for what might be
coming to them and scared they were next on the tornadoes radar.
I myself thought about my many drives through Oklahoma City on
my way to one place or another. I thought about one of my
New Writers this year Jay Hansen and his lovely partner Hiedi
who live in Oklahoma. Thankfully they and there friends
I saw the devistation
and yes it affected me. Hearing about the schools
destroyed, the young lives lost, and watching those who survived
frantically, looking for their children, loveds ones, friends and
yes pets as well. While some people lives are changed forever
from the tornados. Others were affected by flash floods, power
outageous, and fires.
The Stormy Weather
will continue and now Hurricane season is coming full force and
storm predictions are at a high. We need to be prepaired for
what will be coming in the near future. At this time it is
important for us to give to those who need it most and support the
organizations that are there for every American in a time of need.
While I choose to Donate to The American Red
Cross again this month. There are many organization that are
helping those who suffered the effects in Oklahoma.
EPA/ERIK S. LESSER
Mandy Chitty pauses May 23, 2013 while ending the day's search
for personal belongings at her home in Moore, Okla.
The Oklahoman, NewsOk.com -
A teacher hugs a child at Briarwood Elementary school after a
tornado destroyed the school in south Oklahoma City, Monday, May
Other ways to Help
OK Strong Disaster Relief Fund
The state of Oklahoma, coordinating with the United Way of Central
Oklahoma, has established theOK
Strong Disaster Relief Fund to help "with the long-term
medical, emotional and educational needs" of tornado victims.
Donations can be made online at UnitedWayOKC.org
Regional Food Bank of Oklahoma
Food Bank of Oklahoma, working with the Oklahoma
Voluntary Organizations Active in Disaster, is seeking
monetary donations. To donate, visit the regional food bank's
website, or give $10 by texting the word FOOD to 32333.
Oklahoma Baptist Disaster Relief
This organization says donations will "go straight to help those in
need providing tree removal services, laundry services and meals to
victims of disasters."
It is requesting monetary donations (It says clothing is NOT
needed). For more information, and to donate, visit Oklahoma
Baptist Disaster Relief's website.
You can send checks to: BGCO, Attn: Disaster Relief, 3800 N. May
Ave., Oklahoma City, OK., 73112.
Army sent disaster response units to serve hard-hit areas
in central Oklahoma, including Moore, where it is set up mobile
kitchens that are helping to feed people every day, and to South
Supporters can donate online via the organization's website, SalvationArmyUSA.org.
You can also text the word STORM to 80888 to make a $10 donation via
If you want to send a check, the Salvation Army asks that you put
the words "Oklahoma Tornado Relief" on the check, and mail it to:
The Salvation Army, P.O. Box 12600, Oklahoma City, OK., 73157.
Central Oklahoma Humane Society
Oklahoma Humane Society is in need of towels, paper
towels, bleach, gloves and crates to help with lost and injured
animals. "Currently our greatest need is financial donations to help
us treat and house lost and injured animals at our facilities," the
society says on its site. Donations can be made online here and
should be designated for the "OK Humane Disaster Relief Fund."
Some Information in this article was taken from NBC NEWS -
Read the full article from NBC News and find out even more ways to
help The Oklahoma Tornado Victims by following the link.
- Weekly Radio show discussing Plus Sized Issues. Friday's
pm EST - Call in & Chat in our Chat Room.
Thank you for
Please send thoughts and comments to
Angie BEE grew-up a standard-sized young woman, educated in
communications, promotions and planning.
She became a wife, mother and ministry support member while
building businesses and her faith.
Through stress, age and a poor diet and while suffering from major
depression and attempted suicide, Angie BEE's weight climbed from
180 pounds to 360 pounds.
She was diagnosed with high blood pressure, diabetes,
obstructive sleep apnea, an overactive bladder and poor leg
circulation. At the age
of 40 an anxiety attack and the decline in her mental health forced
her to stop work and look at improving her declining health.
It was during this time that Angie BEE became inspired by her
younger sister Sonya Bennett during her process towards Gastric
Bypass Surgery. Sonya
launched this column and will return occasionally to contribute to
it, but now that she is three years-post surgery... her life is
focused on something new!
Now, celebrating her first year of a new life since having the
procedure herself, Angie BEE is healthier than she has been in over
a decade. Losing the
first 100 pounds was just the bonus!
She is now diabetes-free.
She has normal blood pressure.
The circulation in her legs is normal.
She sleeps without a c-pap machine and more!
The joy that she feels is documented each day in her
syndicated radio show, a brand new weekly
TV show documentary and each month in this article.
The Big GB stands for The BIG Gastric Bypass and it also
stands for "Getting (my life) Back".
This article reflects how Angie BEE's life has improved... by
the grace of God and as the result of having Gastric Bypass surgery
on Feb 28, 2011. This
is now her life!
I Cant Believe I ate the Whole Thing!
“Honey, are you feeling alright? I see that you are still eating.
Aren’t you full yet?”
I was asked this question by my date as I
steadily devoured my bar-b-q ribs, side order of Brunswick stew,
pork-n-beans AND garlic toast during dinner. We were visiting a
local restaurant and the aroma from the open pit had my mouth
watering even before I sat down!
Most of my friends know that I was blessed to receive gastric bypass
surgery in February of 2011 and whenever anyone dines with me, they
have learned my eating patterns:
1. I drink before my meal, not during and I don’t drink again
until one full hour after my meal ends.
2. I eat the protein on my plate first and if I am still hungry
I move on to the veggies; I avoid starch whenever I can.
3. I chew my food 20 times before swallowing. I enjoy the
company that I am dining with and make my meal last for 20 minutes;
no shoveling food into my mouth and eating quickly.
These are some of the lessons that I learned in weight loss support
group and I use these tips in order to control my weight loss even
two years after the surgery. With these tips in place, I have been
able to continue to lose three to five pounds each month!
Now, since I have learned new methods of eating right and I have
lost nearly 190 pounds, why would I throw all that out of the window
over a baby-back rib dinner? Hmmm? I wondered that just this
morning! Is it that I have evolved a bit in my dietary lifestyle to
now be able to enjoy larger meal portions? I know that other weight
loss patients shared with me that my appetite would return
eventually and I could begin to eat more eventually; maybe that is
what is going on! I also heard that when I stop focusing on what to
eat and on how many times I chewed my food that I could return to
eating like a “normal” person. Whatever the reason for my hearty
appetite, I really enjoyed this meal and the company that dined with
What I learned from this experience is that you can participate in
an event that changes your life and then LEARN to control your life
as that experience fades away. Think about a person that is hurt in
a car accident: once their wounds heal, they can begin to return to
a “normal” lifestyle in spite of their injuries. Consider a person
that gives their life to Christ. They may turn away from friends and
relatives and certain life actions that don’t line-up with their new
teachings and life practices. Eventually they may return to visit
friends and family that they avoided but now may help guide THEM to
follow a Christian lifestyle! I believe that now my appetite has
returned and I am able to consume larger quantities of food but now
I can control my eating habits and my former habit of eating my way
through pain, depression and negative feelings.
I enjoyed that meal! I truly did. I enjoyed my dining partner; I
enjoyed the waiter that brought me a doggie-bag that I didn’t even
need (lol). I enjoyed eavesdropping on the conversation between the
mother and daughter dining at the next table and I enjoyed feeling
full and satisfied after my meal. There was no over-eating just to
satisfy the “clean-plate” club membership requirements that my
family raised me to be a part of. There was not even a dessert
craving once my meal was finished! There was just a wonderful meal
where I felt like I was in control of my life and my situation. Life
is like my meal! Sometimes you realize that you are strong enough to
consume more than you could before. Sometimes you realize that the
challenges that hindered you in the past are now the food and energy
that keeps you going!
I think about Joyce Meyer Ministries and how she testifies about the
sexual abuse that she grew up with at the hands of her father. Now
she uses that testimony to empower others as she spreads the gospel
of Jesus Christ. I think about when my leg was broken and I spent a
year in a wheelchair while I healed. That leg was really weak for
years and now there are times when I honestly believe that leg is
stronger than the other one! Sometimes, the scar from a burn or a
cut is only there to remind you of how you healed from the hurt and
you don’t even remember the pain.
Well, I look forward to this summer. I have a new swimsuit (size
12!) and I just got a brand new BACKLESS dress! The outdoor bar-b-q
invitations are pouring in and I am accepting them. I am in control
of my health and my life and continue to follow my new eating
lifestyle and behavior patterns. I know that the Lord will continue
to guide me as he has so far and I know that I will continue to be
IN CHARGE as my health continues to improve.
Until next month…
Author, Magazine Publisher, Producer, Promoter &
The Host of The Hottest Home Hotspot WORLDWIDE
Syndicated Holy Hip Hop Radio Show
Last Week I wanted to Die!
NOW AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE!
Thanks for reading
The Big GB - Getting My
Life back after Gastric Bypass
with Angie Bee
Founded in 1969, NAAFA is a non-profit
civil rights organization dedicated to improving the quality of life
for fat people. NAAFA works to eliminate discrimination based on
body size and provide fat people with the tools for self-empowerment
through public education, advocacy, and member support.
This Column is dedicated to the tremendous
work NAAFA has been doing for over four decades. LargeInCharge
wishes to support NAAFA in spreading the word of its work, and give
the public more information into issues we as plus sized people
should be aware of. The fight for equality for people of all
sizes is one we support.
This Column will include News Releases and
Calls to Action from NAAFA Directors.
This Column has been Approved by NAAFA.org
STOP THE PAIN and End Bullying NOW!
from: NAAFA.org by
On Saturday, April 20, 2013, representatives of national NAAFA and
the NAAFA-Orange County Chapter were invited by Kandee Lewis of the
Positive Results Corporation to be involved as exhibitors and
presenters at the STOP THE
PAIN, Teen Summit on Dating Violence, Sex Trafficking and Bully
Donna Frey and Angelica Negrete were presenters for the
End Bullying Now workshop
where they shared with teens and adults the message of what bullying
is and how each of us can work to end it. All participants were
invited to sign a pledge card to END BULLYING NOW.
Additionally, Angelica presented on an anti-bullying panel.
The NAAFA exhibitors table featured information on NAAFA’s END
BULLYING NOW (EBN) campaign including pledge cards for people to
sign, EBN stickers, bullying fact sheets, a copy of the Child
Advocacy Toolkit, general brochures and a YAY! scale. Flower Valadez
of the NAAFA-Orange County Chapter, Peggy Howell and Darliene Howell
were available at the table to share information about NAAFA, the
work we are doing as a national organization and “on the ground,” as
part of the END BULLYING NOW campaign.
We each wore our END BULLYING NOW shirts and the bright, bold
statement drew people to us. We had numerous exhibitors invite us to
come to their schools or organizations to share the message. Teens
and adults came by to sign the pledge cards and take stickers to
share with others. We garnered TONS of smiles at the compliments
paid to those that stepped on the YAY scale! A positive impact was
made that day.
This was the first Teen Summit that I attended but it certainly will
not be the last. Kandee Lewis has already talked about NAAFA being
involved in every Teen Summit that she organizes and we are
delighted to be able to be part of these exciting, life-changing
events. You can look forward to hearing more about how NAAFA is
reaching out to communities and spreading the word to END BULLYING
Founded in 1969, NAAFA is a non-profit human rights organization
dedicated to improving the quality of life for fat people. NAAFA
works to eliminate discrimination based on body size and provide fat
people with the tools for self-empowerment through public education,
advocacy, and member support.
Thanks for reading
From the Desk of NAAFA
Some of you make know me as web girl/Lulu from Fashion Find. Well…
I’ve move on to another one of my favorite’s pastime which is
cooking. To get you all up to date on what’s going on. I’m currently
pursuing a graduate degree at Ashford University I have a B.A.
degree in Organizational Communication from Southeastern Louisiana
I am most passionate about cooking. I believe with cooking you can
always grow… I fried my first egg when I was 2 and baked my first
cake at 5. Cooking is an easy and dynamic experience if you have a
passion for a good tasting meal.
Motto: Cook with your heart not with your head.
If you have a favorite dish you would like to share please forward
with recipe and photo to
with Lucia Roth
Red Beans & Rice Monday
To the rest of the country, red beans and rice is a New Orleans
tradition. In New Orleans, it is a Monday tradition.
Growing up in Louisiana, I remember seeing Monday specials for
red beans and hearing people say they wanted the dish solely
because it was Monday. Red beans on Monday were a
generally accepted fact.
History of Red Beans and Rice
After chatting with food experts my mother, we quickly learned
that no two red beans and rice recipes are alike. "In New
Orleans, you come out of the womb instinctually knowing how to
cook red beans and rice. Really, only the nervous newlywed
follows a recipe," says Poppy Tooker, a Louisiana native who is
one of four U.S. international governors of Slow Food, an
Italy-based organization dedicated to preserving world food
Nobody knows exactly when the dish was born: "Red beans have
been ingrained in the New Orleans landscape for about 200
years," Poppy says. It is well known that Louis "Satchmo"
Armstrong loved them. In a letter to a fellow New Orleanian,
Armstrong wrote, "It really shouldn't be any problem at all for
you to figure out my favorite dish.
We all were brought up eating the same thing, so I will tell
Red Beans and Rice with Ham Hocks is my birthmark." We should
all be so lucky
Feeling inspired to whip up this New Orleans staple? Let’s Go!
Red Beans and Rice
1 pound dried red kidney beans
1/2 pound Andouille smoked chicken sausage, thinly
sliced (or any type of smoked sausage you prefer)
3 celery ribs, chopped
1 green bell pepper, chopped
1 medium onion, chopped
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 tablespoon Creole seasoning
3 cups uncooked long-grain rice
Garnish: sliced green onions
Place beans in a Dutch oven; add water 2 inches
above beans. Bring to a boil. Boil 1 minute; cover,
remove from heat, and soak 1 hour. Drain.
sausage and next 3 ingredients in Dutch oven over
medium-high heat 10 minutes or until sausage is
browned. Add garlic; sauté 1 minute. Add beans,
Creole seasoning, and 7 cups water. Bring to a boil;
reduce heat to low, and simmer 1 to 1 1/2 hours or
until beans are tender.
Meanwhile, cook rice according to package
directions. Serve with red bean mixture. Garnish, if
Note: Andouille Smoked Chicken Sausage, Hot Sausage,
and or Fried Chicken make a great side dish.
Ms Suga is a plus size woman hailing from Sunny South Florida. She
is a 24 year old recent recipient of a Bachelor in Arts degree in
Communication Studies. Being plus size for the majority of her life
she has overcome many obstacles to finally come to the point where
she is fully content with herself and her life. This self love has
also allowed Ms Suga the privilege of sharing her love with those
around her. She is very passionate about life and loves to help
Ms Suga likes to see herself as the one everyone can go
to for positive, inspirational and truthful words of advice and/or
support. She is the Beautiful Inspirational Girl that is blessed,
intellectual, trustworthy, caring and hardworking.
Ms Suga has had a passion for writing since she was a
little girl when she used to think of short stories about what her
life would be like as she got older. This is Ms Suga’s first
opportunity for her thoughts to be public for the world to see.
Excited about this column Ms Suga is also very optimistic of her
future in writing and promoting self love and acceptance in the plus
with Ms Suga
OMG it's June already? Ok seriously where did the time go? I
swear to BoB it was just Valentine’s Day! Well I guess time
flies when you're having fun huh? Hope you guys are having all
the fun you can stand because I know Ms. Suga is. But I'm also
learning is more than just fun and games.
Last month I told you that everything will be alright and I
stand by that statement. But...I have to admit time is not
always on your side. Yes things will work themselves out but
it's not always on our time or how we want it to end up. We live
in a society where everyone wants any and everything when we
want it and how we want it. But the reality is life doesn't flow
off the Burger King creed you can't always have it your way. It
may seem like I'm being a little harsh but like always I'd
rather you be mad that I told you the truth then for you to call
me a liar.
So as I sit here writing this it's been almost a month since a
woman I considered a friend passed away. She and I hadn't talked
in a long time, it wasn't because of any hard feelings or
emotions, it was just that life kept us busy. Anyway, when I
found out my friend passed it hurt my heart, not only was her
time done on the this earth but because I didn't have the chance
to tell her how much I appreciated her and how she influenced my
life. This woman and I weren't what one would call best-ies but
her spirit impacted me in a way I hadn't understood until
shortly before she passed. Last summer I experienced something
similar with another woman who I loved tremendously. She and I
had a misunderstanding some years back and I am so grateful she
and I had made up when we did. When she passed away last summer
I cried, (I'm crying now) but these tears are because I am
thankful that we had the time we had together.
Sorry for getting a little sappy but y'all know me well enough
to know I am an open book when it comes to my life lessons. So I
said all that to tell you not to live this world with regrets.
If you love someone tell them now, if you've hurt someone
apologize to them. Life is too short to hold a grudge...FORGIVE
THEM and move on!!!
Not even 2 weeks ago, a town in Oklahoma was ripped apart and
people's lives were ruined. I'm sure there was one person in
that bunch that didn't get to say "thank you" or "I love you" or
"I'm sorry" and now they will never get that chance. I encourage
you to do so before it gets to be too late.
None of us knows when our time will end and we really should
live everyday like it is our last. I don't mean live recklessly
or destructively but do things great the first time just in case
you don't get a second shot. I don't intend to sound grim nor do
I want to scare you all but I'm trying to make a point. Someone
told me while back to learn to live with the apology you might
not ever receive. Some good stuff huh? With that simple
realization I decided to forgive and forget the wrongs done to
me. Not that I didn't tell them how I felt but once I let it out
I let it go!
And just like that I felt happier than I felt in a while. If you
never remember anything else I tell you I hope you remember to
forgive and tell those around you how you REALLY REALLY feel. As
my grandma used to say "Give me my flowers while I'm alive baby,
I won't be able to smell them when I'm dead".
Until next time loves!
Kathy is originally from a small town in Michigan but has lived in
San Diego County since she's been 18 years old. Kathy
graduated from San Diego State University with a Bachelors in
Finance in 1999.
She has a real estate broker’s license and works as a mortgage
Kathy also owns BBW Club Catalina in San Diego which has monthly
night club parties and other fun events on a frequent basis.
Kathy has been an avid supporter of NAAFA, Vegas BBW Bash and
San Diego BBW Bash and believes in size acceptance and health at
Kathy is a firm believer that people need to have a full life by
going to the movies, dinner, bowling, dancing and anything that will
make them a happier person and not wait till they are at the perfect
size to start living their life to the fullest.
Kathy is in her mid-40's and her children are grown and living
productively on their own.
In her spare time she likes trying new restaurants, dancing,
modeling, bowling and spending time with family and friends.
Why do Women fight over Men?
I've been asking myself this question since I've been a
teenager, and I first noticed friends in high school fighting
over a guy. It's been about 28 years since I've been
in high school, and women my age are still fighting over men,
and I don't understand it.
The thing I don't understand the most, is when a man is dating
two women, and neither one of the women are mad at the man, for
dating both of them, but they are mad as hell, at each other.
Also, most of the time when these cat fights happen, it's when
no one is in a committed relationship, with the man they are
fighting over, and are merely in the early stages of dating.
If a man really wants to date you and only you than that is what
he is going to do.
There are also the women who are being told by a man that they
are in a committed relationship and the man they are dating is
out cheating on her. I would be mad at the man that
I was in a relationship with first and foremost. A lot of women
think somehow it's the other woman's fault that their man is
cheating, rarely do they blame their man.
Let's move on to the man who has multiple girlfriends, and then
they find out about each other. Would you leave the
relationship because your man was cheating on you, or fight with
the other girlfriend to see who wins him? How is it
that anyone really wins in this situation? Let's say
you are the "winner" and you end up with the man... are you
really the winner when you have a man who has shown himself to
I like the movies where both women find out the man is cheating
on them and they both kick his lying, cheating ass to the curb.
What would cause a woman to fight for a man and stay with a man
who is lying and cheating on her? The rest of the
relationship with this man will be spent not trusting him even
when he isn't misbehaving.
Every time the man leaves the house, sends a text or uses the
phone will be suspect and who wants to live thinking that
someone is cheating on you? What about the fear of
getting STD's from this man who is cheating on you with other
women? How many times on the news have we seen
people get badly hurt or die from physical violence that stems
from women fighting over men?
I know that some men will fight with each other over a woman but
for the most part they don't and just move on to another woman
who will be right for them.
Ladies, you should never have to fight for the attention and
love of a man. Don't blame the other woman, stalk
her on social media pages, talk crap about her and make yourself
look like you are certifiably crazy. In the words of
Keyshia Cole and her song "Let it go" You need to get if he
don't wanna, Love you the right way he ain't gonna, It ain't
where he's at its where he, where he wanna be.
Celebrating almost two decades as a Graphic Designer/Published
Illustrator, Jean Nerestant Jr (Jness) got his start as a graphic
artist in 1994, Still working as a graphic designer by day/ Jness
devotes time to his hip hop Culture, comic book art and Plus
Plus Sized Bat-Girl
This month's featured piece is entitled "Bat-Fam". I approached
this one with a layered technique. Building colors from lighter
tones to warmer, darker tones. I used alcohol markers, color
pencils as well as paint markers.
The more colors I apply the more vibrant to piece looks. As an
artist I admit I am a slave to my passions, plus size beauty and
the superhero genre. In this illustration the main characters
are featured at the entrance of the Batcave; Robin, Batman, and
of course Plus-Size Batgirl who by the way holds the record for
being the most revisited JNESS superhero. I never grow weary of
illustrating this character.
For those who don't know, her real identity is Barbara Gordon a
librarian by day, who is mild and meek. Her secret identity is
Batgirl the crime fighting avenger by night. She's plus size in
my version, which would most likely put her in line for
overcoming, even greater obstacles by day. No matter how you
slice it Batgirl makes great subject matter.
Hello there all my fashion loving friends. My name is Amy Lucas and
in this column I hope to bring you some new outfits that will make
you feel great and be Large and In Charge.
My whole life has not been devoted to fashion as my background is in
teaching Spanish, Math, and Science. I also have a master’s degree
in Central Office Administration.
With that said, I have been wearing
plus sizes for as long as I can remember so I do know the struggles we all
face to find cute clothes. I come from a smaller town in Michigan, which
means I have an even harder time finding plus size clothing in my area
since the choices are so limited; as well as, the sizes and styles each
Out of necessity, I started looking
online instead of just settling for the places here and have found that
other women could use the help too. I run a fashion group on Facebook
called BBW Fashion where I post something fabulous each day hoping to help
all those to find what they want in their size.
In my career, I've helped plus size
students and their parents to find fashion in their sizes that would help
them with their self-esteem and make them feel good about themselves. I
have also dabbled in fashion before this modeling for three different
stores, winning a cover model spot in July of 2012 in Large in Charge
magazine, and I was Ms. LBC 2008 for Linda's Big Connections in Chicago. I
look forward to showing you what is available in plus size fashion and
help you to look even more beautiful and chic.
with Amy Lucas
There are so many choices out there in swimwear, that there is a perfect
swimsuit for every body type. Whether you are going on a bbw cruise or
headed to a pool party these looks will make you look hot and stylish no
matter which swimsuit you choose.
Ava Underwire Top & Hi Waist Bottom,
sizes xxs-5xl, $130,
Sao Paulo High Waisted Bikini Top in black,
sizes 12-24, $61.60,
Sao Paulo High-Waisted Bikini Brief in black,
sizes 12-24, $49,
Underwire Bikini Top in Lagoon,
- 46DD. $90.00
Waisted Swim Bottom in Lasoon,
10/12 - 22/24 $70.00
Gabifresh Hot Pink B/H Yoga Bikini, sizes 10-24, $68.00
Island Print No-Wire Bikini Top,
sizes 14-18, $49.95,
Island Print Swim Hipster,
sizes 14-28, $44.95,
Swim Sexy White Halter Bikini,
sizes 10-24, $68.00
Two Piece Suits
Turq Triple Tier Swim Top,
sizes 14-26, $29.99,
Tiered Bandeau Halter Swim Top,
sizes 14-26, $29.99,
Classic Swim Brief
with Tummy Control Panel,
sizes 14-26, $22.99,
Animal Scarf Swimdress,
sizes 14-34, $79.99,
Tankini Style Swimsuit
with Sweetheart Neck
and Empire Bodice
in bright cherry floral,
2pc. Retro Pinup Style Swimsuit,
sizes 1-12x, $79.00
Pink Mesh Dot Tankini Swim Top,
sizes 0-4x, $33.95,
Black Side Cinch Shorts,
sizes 0-4x, $36.50,
One Piece Suits
Underwire One-Piece Double Ruffle
One Shoulder Swimsuit,
sizes 1-3x, $119,
Split-top Maillot One Piece
Swimsuit by 365,
sizes 14-34, $79.99,
Anguilla Cold Shoulder Swimsuit
in merlot, sizes 12-24,
Zebra Bandeau Halter
sizes 0-4x, $68.50,
Metallic Polka Dot
One Piece Swimsuit,
sizes 1-12x, $95.00
Black Cross Over Halter Swimsuit,
sizes 18-24, $68.00
Frill Front Swimdress in peacock,
sizes 14-24, $99.99,
2pc. Black and White
Floral Halter Swim-dress,
sizes 0-9x, $49.99,
Kelly Swimsuit in pin-up polka dot,
sizes 0-5x, $118.00
Side Bow Swimdress
in black and white,
sizes 14-34, $54.99,
Beach to Beach
Red Gingham Swimdress,
sizes 8-28, $62.00
Swim Sexy Teal Aqua
Floral Shirred Bandeau
sizes 10-24, $68.00
Sheer Black Plus Size Sarong,
sizes 0-9x, $19.99,
Crochet Swim Coverup,
sizes 14/16 - 26/28, $49.95,
Splendour Sequin Cover Up,
sizes 8-28, $52.00
Palm Print Tie Front Cover-Up,
sizes 14/16 - 26/28, $23.99,
Smocked Gauze Dress
Skirt Coverup in lagoon blue,
sizes m-4x, $34.99,
Jay Hansen and Heidi Davis are size-acceptance advocates from Oklahoma and
co-own Oklahoma's only social size-acceptance group,
Oklahoma BBW, BHM, and their
Admirers. Heidi was born in 1969 and has been a large woman her whole
life, just as Jay has been an admirer of such plus-sized women all of his.
Heidi graduated High School in 1987, which is the same year Jay was born.
The two met online in 2005 and quickly developed a friendship. In 2009,
Jay graduated the University of Central Oklahoma with a Bachelor’s in
English Education, and the following year he and Heidi started dating and
quickly fell deeply in love.
Heidi is experienced, blunt, pragmatic, down-to-earth, and strong in every
sense of the word, while Jay is intellectual, articulate, ideological,
contemplative, and gentle. Heidi is eighteen years Jay's senior and nearly
three times his weight, while Jay is 140 pounds soaking wet with a brick
in his pocket. He's a king amongst nerds and all things geeky; she's a
tattooed, rough-and-tumble, hard rocker to her core. Together, they are a
beautiful personification of the old adage
"The Skinny on Big Love with Jay Hansen" was started in 2013 with Jay as
the primary writer and Heidi as his muse and endless source of ideas and
inspiration. Together, the two hope to provide people with a new frame of
mind on love and relationships, promote open-mindedness and acceptance,
ask intriguing questions, foster conversations, and prove to the world
that titles such as weight and age, amongst countless others, should never
stand in the way of one's pursuit of happiness.
with Jay Hansen
Before we get to my article this month I just wanted to let everyone know
that Heidi and I are safe and sound. We are Oklahomans and we have
received many phone calls and messages from our out-of-state friends
worried about us after the tragic tornados of May 19th and 20th. We
appreciate and thank you for your concern. Thankfully, we live quite a
ways North from Moore, the city that was completely devastated, and all we
got was some severe thunderstorms. We have been using our Oklahoma BBW
group for networking to make sure everyone is okay, and while everyone we
know made it out alive, the extent of the financial and emotional damage
to many people we know remains to be seen. If you would like to donate to
the relief efforts please visit the Red Cross Disaster Relief page by
clicking this link, or view
this NBC News article to learn
other ways you can help.
The final test Heidi needed to check her heart murmur was called a "bubble
test," or Bubble Echocardiogram, and we had to travel all the way to
Integris Heart Hospital in Oklahoma City to have it done. We scheduled it
on my day off so that I could go because Heidi openly admitted that,
unlike the first two tests, this one scared her, and I wasn't about to
leave her alone. At first, I just thought it would be a standard hospital
visit and everything would be fine, but I quickly found myself in an
environment with so many challenges for a plus-sized woman I had to take
The first lesson is a simple but important one, especially for all the
cheap guys out there such as myself; if there is a valet, use it. I was
born in raised in Oklahoma, and out here valets are a rare sight.
Honestly, I'd never even seen one before until we went to this hospital,
nor did I even think we would need one. Heidi and I are lucky to have a
handicapped placard on account of Heidi's knees because her orthopedist
(bone and joint doctor) operated in the same building as her primary
physician, both of whom had to coordinate to authorize one for us. So for
us, obtaining it was quite simple; all we had to do was fill out some
paperwork, wait for the approval of both doctors, and the placard was
ours. If you or anyone you know has mobility issues, I would encourage
them to just ask their doctor about getting their own placard. It never
hurts to ask!
Nonetheless, the placard in this particular situation didn't really help
us all that much. After all, it is
a hospital; it didn't dawn on me until we were already in the parking lot
that all the handicapped spots would already be taken. So our only choice
was to use the valet, and yes, you do have to tip them, as I learned the
Once we were in the building we found the reception area and got
checked-in. It was there in the waiting area while Heidi was getting paper
work filled out at the front desk that I noticed our second huge obstacle.
All the chairs in the waiting room had immovable, wooden armrests; one of
the arch-nemeses of the plus-sized, and there was not so much as a love
seat, let alone couch or sofa (which would have been the optimal choice)
in the waiting area. I soon found myself wishing we'd have brought our own
chair, or better yet, Heidi's seated walker, but as usual Heidi declined
to bring it. In a future article, you'll read about what I went through
shopping for Heidi's walker, but despite a frequent need for it she often
chooses not to use it. That day in the hospital was one of those
situations where it was a fine line to walk between Heidi's physical
comfort and psychological comfort because it would be better for her
physical comfort to have the walker, but possibly worse for her
psychologically either because of the social stigma associated with a
large person using a mobility aid (especially in a hospital) or a fear of
inconveniencing me loading and unloading it into the car at a time where
she might not even use it. As the partner to a plus-sized person, however,
or just as a partner to anyone with special needs, there is no such thing
as an inconvenience when it comes to providing their specialized care. We
are compelled as partners to take care of each other no matter what extra
burdens that may place on either of us. It's called love, and it's
important to remember to not let pride get in the way of that.
We encountered a similar size-related issue when we were called back for
the actual test. Heidi squeezed out of her waiting room chair only to go
back and find her nurse waiting to squeeze her into an even tinier medical
drape. Since it was a heart test, Heidi had to remove her top, so this
type of drape was designed to allow for access to the chest without
leaving someone entirely exposed. What it was most certainly not designed
for, however, was a large woman. The largest size they had was an XL,
which Heidi couldn't even get her arms through, let alone draw it closed
in the front. Unlike the valet, which Heidi had predicted, or the chairs,
which I had predicted, neither of us had even thought of this problem.
Thankfully Heidi had brought a zip-up sweater because it was cold that
could function as the drape just fine, but we certainly made note of it
for future doctor's visits; bring your own cover.
The test itself went well, even though Heidi said it felt extremely weird
to have saline bubbles injected into her veins. I kept a close watch to
what the technicians and medical assistance were doing to Heidi the whole
time. If you recall, in my last article I mentioned that the technicians
"know little of where she is sensitive or thin-skinned, physically and
emotionally." I chose those exact words because I'm sure anyone reading
this is aware of how easily a large person's skin can be damaged because
it is stretched so thin in some places. Unfortunately this exact thing
happened at the second of Heidi's three medical appointments; the skin
under her breast was torn when the technician pulled his hand out from
under it. Now, the technician would have to monitor her heart from the
exact spot where her skin was torn, and I wasn't about to let that happen
again. I made myself available and on-hand at all times, standing right
next to the bed they had Heidi laying, but not so much that I got in the
way and was willing to move away when the doctor needed it.
In the end, Heidi and I left the hospital with a wealth of new experiences
and lessons about future hospital visits. When we were climbing in the car
to leave, despite a nasty look from the un-tipped valet, I felt
particularly comforted that the tests were over. Heidi was healthy, and I
was there for her. Taking care of Heidi always gives me great pleasure,
but the trials and tribulations of this particular day gave me a greater
sense of joy because now I was more capable of doing so than I was the day
before. I smiled, turned to Heidi, told her I loved her, and we spent the
rest of our day off taking care of each other as we both love to do so
I was born in San Diego,
California on August 30, 1972.
Grew up in
San Jose, San Francisco, and San Diego California.
I Graduated from San Diego State University in
1996 with a Bachelors Degree in Journalism
(Radio-TV News) and a Bachelors Degree in
I interned with U.S.
Senator Dianne Feinstein from 1995-1996.
interned with CBS News during the 1996 Republican
Currently I'm a
Licensed Sales Representative with Pacific Shores
Real Estate, Inc. in Solana Beach, California
I'm Co-Owner of Club Catalina BBW Night Club
in San Diego, CA.
And a newlywed, married
to Kathy Edmondson as of December 31, 2012.
I am the father of one daughter - Safiyah
Edmondson (8) and stepfather to two young men,
Alexander Hernandez (22) and John Rhakman Macklin
I enjoy bowling, basketball, tennis,
football. I play 12 musical instruments. I also
design a web page for a real estate company.
with David Edmondson
It doesn’t matter what context this word is
used, but when the term
used in conversation, it is sure to raise eyebrows. When
it is mentioned on topics such as race, sexual
preferences or religion; people seem to have a wide
range of opinions. Yet, I’ve noticed that when it comes
to being big, people have to be reminded, to check their
egos and their attitudes at the door.
As I drive by 24 Hour Fitness, I am reminded why I am
against using these places for my fitness regimen.
Again, if you feel that you can do the gym routine, more
power to you. I have found however, that with being
bigger, there is more of a bias against people of size.
For me, it started from the very time I walked into the
stares, the pointing, constant laughter you hear until
you get close… then silence only to have the chatter and
laughter continue shortly after you pass by. It’s enough
to make a person go mad. This was the reaction I got
after standing in front of… wait for it… a fitness gym.
You would think that this place, where everyone is
trying to either; lose weight, get stronger or just
trying to stay healthy, could help a person escape
ridicule, but you would be wrong.
Is it any wonder that millions of people; begin
their New Year’s Resolutions at a fitness center, only
to quit a month later?
singing the membership form (Which really means signing
your life away) is a rough experience. It seems as
though they ask for your life story on paper. There is
the family medical history, your current weight, your
goals and of course your schedule for each day.
Translation, everything you were doing was wrong and we
are here to change your lifestyle, so that you are
healthy and acceptable to modern day society. Yes, just
the membership form is of itself a psychological
profile, which will only cost you $10 to $20.00 a month
with a deposit of $50-$100 of course.
If you are
lucky enough to get past the membership form, you get
rewarded with a physical trainer (aka torturer). 80% of
these people majored in physical education and are
convinced that fitness is the only way to go. They
reveal a plan for you based on your membership form and
tell you it can be done. If they are nice, they tell you
that you’re eating habits will change dramatically, both
in what foods you eat and how much you will eat.
After the initial shock from that meeting, the
physical training begins.
month, you feel the burn. You wake up feeling muscles
you did not discover until now. And yes, the first 20
pounds (More affectionately known as water weight) come
off. You feel great, all that hard work and sacrifice
paying off. You feel ready to go into that second month
with guns blazing. The only problem with that is, your
body has now adjusted to your routine, after getting
knocked down, it has chosen to get back up and fight.
Not only will the body fight you, but it has a defense,
that you are not ready for.
In other words, reality steps in.
fitness coach sees that their methods are no longer
effective. If you have a good fitness trainer, they will
have planned ahead and will work on other parts of your
body. However, if you are unlucky, as I was, you will
have a physical trainer that will blame you, use your
membership form against you, hurl on the fat insults and
use threats of eminent death, to get you to submit to
That was when I stopped going. It wasn’t that I
was not trying hard enough, it was that this particular
trainer, had self-esteem issues and could not accept the
fact that not everyone on this earth, was designed to
look like him.
As I reflect back on my experience, I can laugh at all
of the anorexic people that I happen to encounter that
day, killing themselves, spending thousands of dollars,
their bodies into what the media says is an acceptable
body type. The general rule is, if you do not like
something about yourself, change it.
Just don’t let it change you. Getting fit should
be fun not torture.
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