Cover Model of the Month!
and Make-up: ColdAsEyce - Charlotte NC.
Make-up: ColdAsEyce Photo: J Humble
Make-up: ColdAsEyce Photo: J Humble - Charlotte NC.
LargeInCharge.com: What is your name?
My name is Ms. Stacie Renee Smith
LargeInCharge.com: Where are you from and what is your current
I am originally from Brooklyn, NY and I currently reside in
LargeInCharge.com: Can you give us some information about yourself
(Age, Height, Size, Nationality, Marital Status, Children, etc.)?
I am a single, African American female with no children. I am 47
yrs. Old, 5’8 “and am a size 26/28.
LargeInCharge.com: Were you a big child, or did you gain weight
later in life?
I have always been the biggest child growing up amongst family and
friends. I don’t know what being small is about.
LargeInCharge.com: (If you were a big child) how did you feel
growing up as a large child?
I initially felt bad as I was always made fun of. I was often the
last to be picked for things and especially when it came to boys and
dates. While others had boyfriends, I didn’t. Thanks to my mother,
my self-esteem has been high as I became a young adult. My mother
constantly told me that just because I am big do not mean I am ugly.
My mother always told me that I was beautiful inside and out, that
beauty is only skin deep and is in the eyes of the beholder. My
mother always kept me dressed well as she herself was a size 22/24
and was a sharp dresser. I have always been told by family and
non-family members how pretty I am. So in my later teen years my
self-esteem started to go higher and thereafter no one could tell me
LargeInCharge.com: (If you gained weight later in life) what caused
you to gain weight and how did you feel about it?
I have been out of H.S. since 83. In High school I wore a 22/24 so I
haven’t really changed much. I have gained weight though and it is
partially due to a low metabolic rate as I have a bad habit of
skipping 1-2 meals per day. The other reason is due to being in
America and not eating the proper portion of food. It is important
to know that I do not binge eat. There are many foods and beverages
that the average person eats that I do not. I refer to myself as an
obese anorexic person!
LargeInCharge.com: What made you decide to enter the LargeInCharge
I want to show the world that large is beautiful. I wanted to show
the world that beauty comes in all shapes, sizes and colors. I would
like to inspire women younger, my age , older, smaller than I , my
size, and up that if I can do it, so can they. I want women of size
to know that they should smile, be proud of themselves, love their
bodies that God gave to them, hold their heads up and make eye
contact when they walk into a room and not stare down at the floor.
I want the world to know that I am a plus woman who is definitely
“Large and In Charge” and that they can be the same!
LargeInCharge.com: Did you find it a hard journey to be accepted for
your size, and do you find acceptance among your family and friends?
Yes as a female growing up in the Western Civilization, it is very
hard being accepted. However, with my personality, they have no
choice but to accept me. Both men and women always gravitate to me
because of my personality and drive to be a better me.
However, once I was in entered into the world of events geared
toward size acceptance, the journey that was hard was no more. Over
the years, men have grown to love plus size women and women have
done the same also in terms of accepting us and not ridiculing so
much. It still happens but not as much. Society is still shallow but
not as shallow as it used to be.
When I was younger, yes but now it’s basically like it or not, take
it or leave it, what you see is what you get. I have been large my
whole life so I don’t see myself as others do. I accept myself but
others may have the problem and it’s just that…their problemJ.
Yes all of my family and friends accept me. This is the only way
they’ve known me to be is big.
LargeInCharge.com: What would you say inspires you most in life?
The need to want to help others inspires me. My belief in God
inspires me most as he would not want me to be anything else but the
best. He wants me to be happy. He has given me the gift of my
personality, knowledge and beauty. I must use it to the fullest. The
Devil wants me to be down, depressed, sick in my body, lonely and
all other negative things. Therefore, I focus on the positives that
God brings and has for me and that inspires me to press on!
LargeInCharge.com: What is your primary occupation, and how did you
get into this line of work?
I am a Registered Nurse. I went to Clara Barton H.S. in Brooklyn, NY
and became a Licensed Practical Nurse after graduating. I stayed in
the field of nursing from that point on.
LargeInCharge.com: Do you find acceptance in the work force?
Yes and no. It’s hard as my profession teaches health and physical
fitness. So, it was hard for me and still is telling others when I
myself am overweight.
However as I began to look around, there are a lot of overweight
health care professional. I do think that once you enter into the
corporate world your looks play a lot more into the job that you get
depending on what your duties are.
LargeInCharge.com: What changes do you believe should take place for
Large People in the work force?
Being able to obtain positions not based on their looks. Not being
chastised for your weight a having to pay higher insurance premiums
based on your weight. Not having to speak with “a life coach” so
that you can decrease your weight and therefore pay the premiums
that non overweight people pay. Not being denied life insurance
coverage based on your weight.
I would like to see healthy foods for all people in vending machines
and restaurants, exercise breaks and less job stress which
contributes to being overweight also.
LargeInCharge.com: What do you think about the fashion industry for
big sized clothing?
It has come a long way but yet there is still a ways to go. I do
feel that the fashion industry needs to pay attention to the fact
that the larger sizes are the first to be sold in the stores. This
means they need to make more of them and not charge so much more
than the smaller sizes. They are not using that much more fabric
that they have to charge so much.
LargeInCharge.com: What do you wish to see change with the fashion
I think there should be more plus sized designers and true plus size
models (not a tall 14/16/18/20) representing true plus sized women
so that we will know how the clothes will look on us. I think they
fashion world needs to have more choices for plus sized women and
not stop at a size 20-24. I think that they do not need to make
everything look like a house coat or a tent, or down to the floor or
matronly plain Jane just because it’s larger does not mean it should
be less stylish. We need to keep women uplifted not embarrass them
by making some of these ridiculously styled clothes. To me,
everything that they make in a smaller size should also be made in
plus and super plus sizes to give the ladies an option.
LargeInCharge.com: Tell us some of the places you buy your clothing
from. Do you have any
I buy my clothes from Lane Bryant, DOTS, Simply Fashion, Ashley
Stewart, Marshal’s, TJ Max, Simply Be, The Pyramid Collection, Holy
Clothing, Pin Up Girl on Line, Romans on line, Ebay and any
department store that carries my size. I shop at several different
locations. So much so that when someone asks where I bought
something, I have to really think!
My beauty secret was instilled in me since I was a teenager from my
mother and my grandmother and that is keep myself neat and clean.
Also making certain, that I have the proper undergarments for a
neater appearance. I dress to accentuate my curves.
do you prepare for a Photo shoot?
What should aspiring models be prepared for?
The way I prepare myself for a photo shoot is to lay out all items
that I would need for each outfit. That would include my
undergarments, jewelry, hosiery and shoes. Before attending a photo
shoot where I do not have to bring my own garments, I just make
certain that I am clean, shaven of body hairs, freshly manicured,
pedicured, well rested so that I show up on time and be mentally
prepared for the photo shoot. Aspiring models should be prepared for
a potentially long shoot.
Sometimes they also need to be prepared to bare the elements
(extreme heat, cold, and various types of crowds with spectators).
LargeInCharge.com: Look at Size acceptance five years ago... look at
size acceptance now.
What changes do you see?
That size acceptance has changed since five years ago. I am seeing
more true full figured models. However, some catalogues use the
smaller end of full figured that is not really considered full
figured in their catalogues. I don’t know how I would look in those
catalogues’s clothing as they don’t have anyone that represents me
in them. I do see that
more Americans are more accepting of people of size as Americans in
general are overweight. More people are becoming less shallow in the
real world. However, in Hollywood, they are still the same. They
still do not see the plus sized women as sexy and do not put them in
leading roles unless they are someone’s mother or a court jester.
It’s still a journey but we are continuing to improve on size
LargeInCharge.com: Tell us about your goals as far as modeling and
My goal is to become successful in print work and commercials. I no
longer wish to do runway (leave that to the young ones LOL). My
other interests are to be in the media/entertainment/radio arena.
have you accomplished as a Plus Sized Model?
As a non- agency signed plus model, I have done many hair, hat and
fashion shows as well as plus beauty pageants to which I placed in.
However I still have not broken into plus modeling and connected
with the right people on a larger scale to make it a career.
you entered or won any Contests, Pageants or Awards?
What was the experience like?
Yes I sent my photo into BBW Magazine some years ago for it a
plus clothing store in NY called Daphne’s who wanted plus
models for her small catalogue
and for an in store fashion show . I also entered into two of
Dimensions (out of Ohio) beauty pageant.
In 1991, I won second runner
up in talent as well as in my division (there were three according
to size). The experience was like no other to be chosen as a
finalist out of all of the other contestants. In my eyes, I already
won! It was an amazing
accomplishment for me and my plus sized friends and family. I became
an inspiration for them and that was very rewarding. It only
furthered my pre-existing confidence and self- esteem.
LargeInCharge.com: Can you tell us about an inspirational moment in
your life that made you feel good about your size.
I can remember being stared at constantly when I walked into a room
or by people. When I was younger, I always felt self -conscious with
people staring at me. One day, after noticing a few people staring
at me, I finally asked a lady why she was staring at me so hard. She
politely said “sweetheart, I was staring at you because you look
beautiful in your outfit. Your hair, your skin, your face is so
pretty”. Then later that same day / or a few days later, a few girls
my age asked me where I got my outfit from. They said they couldn’t
find clothes that stylish to fit them and wanted to know where I
shopped because they always noticed my style of dress and liked it.
During those moments, I realize that it was not because I was large
person but that I was a beautiful, bold, confident woman and people
liked it. From then on,
whenever I saw people stare at me, I knew why and smiled. I knew I
needed to continue to be an inspiration to other women of size to do
the same thing and hold their head up high.
LargeInCharge.com: Is there a person in your life that makes you
Although my mother and grandmother are now deceased, they were both
plus a sized woman, my mother was a size 22 and my grandmother was
between a size 32 /34/36. They instilled in me that just because I
was larger, didn’t mean I had to be down on myself. They always told
me to keep myself clean, neat, dress nice, do my hair, have my
accessories to match, put on the proper undergarments and give
people something to talk about because they would expect me to be
nasty and sloppy. They always made sure that I was well put together
and trained me to continue to be that was so that I would show
people just how beautiful I am inside and out.
LargeInCharge.com: What advice would you give to other people of
size who want to model?
To continue no matter what, do not change your look because of
pressure. If you have what it takes, you have what it takes. If you
walk into an agency, do not shell out countless amounts of money to
get a job, they will work for you not you work for them.
Models come in all shapes, sizes and colors. Not everyone is
6 feet tall and a size 14 /16. Real women want to see real looking
plus models so be the best plus model you can be. Perfect your craft
and you will get noticed for who you are….If you show up and show
out no matter how many times the door is closed, one day it will be
opened and once it’s opened …you are in!
LargeInCharge.com: Which plus size figure do you most admire?
I used to admire Mo’Nique but she is now small. Since eventually,
those in the limelight give in to the pressures of Hollywood, having
surgery and becoming thin, I really don’t have a plus figure that I
truly admire any longer.
LargeInCharge.com: Describe yourself with one word.
Thanks for reading about
Cover Model of the Month
Raqui the Owner and Founder of LargeInCharge.com, Raqui's "Tell it like it is" style of
writing has brought thousands to her blogs and millions to
LargeInCharge.com. There is so much behind the woman who has
brought this magazine into existence. Being Internationally
known as a wrestler/squasher lead the way to modeling for companies
and being featured in magazines and documentaries from all over the
world. She has made a career out of her size and personality.
Born and Raised in the Bronx NYC. This city girl is taking the world by
For almost a decade Raqui officially moved into Size Acceptance and Empowerment.
With the creation of LargeInCharge she took what she said to
individuals to a higher level and made it public to the internet
world. She is a woman who doesn't let things get to her. Knock her
down for the moment but she will rise up stronger and better.
Being a speaker on behalf of many subjects and counseling Plus Sized
people online her grace and style has made people love her. Raqui continues to set an example of a powerful woman who will bend
the world to fit her, her way.
Raqui's appearances include, Uk Television, German TV, Japan, Europe,
and the Spanish circuit. Her many magazines appearances have
been world wide. She has hit American Television in 2006 with
Good Morning American and since has appeared on The Cristina Show,
The Maury Show and The Tyra Banks Show.
To view her Online
Raqui's Blog titled Raqui-ism "Soulfully
www.Raqui.com Portfolio Section
Raqui-ism - Worthy Charities 2013
Written By: Raqui
This year LargeInCharge
has begun its 9th year moving toward our 10th. I challenged myself
this year by starting my own little quest
toward learning, giving, and expanding my own mind, by donating to a
new charity every month. I hope that you all will enjoy
learning about these new charities with me.
I began to
understand that most of us only donate to a charity
if we have an emotional connection to the charity itself or someone
who is trying to raise money for a cause. One day when I
happened to dismiss a charity that was asking for donations, I realized
I dont want to be that person. I want to give because the
cause is worthy and I can. Not only because of an emotional
connection. So join me in learning about new causes and
charities this year. I will post a new one to my column every
CHARITY OF THE MONTH: Child Fund - Changing lives across the World
Giving, Donations, being a Sponsor, when we hear those words,
many of us think MONEY, how much does this cost, can I afford to
give. I am in a situation where I can't afford to donate to
others; I barely can handle myself and my family. Most of us
think that we have to donate huge amounts of money to make a
difference, or we just don’t have the extra cash to give.
This was something I thought about this year before I made my
dedication. I wanted to give to a new charity every month,
I had to set a dollar amount and stick to my budget. I wanted
to figure out how I can give without affecting my monthly budget.
Each one of us has a different budget, and if you think that you
don’t have enough to give to charity, that you have nothing to
offer. WELL I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU!
When looking over Child Fund.org as my next option for donation, I
happen to find options.
You can look up donation options according to the amount you have to
spare. This was really exciting for me because not only can
you up a charity option according to dollar amounts but you know
exactly what your buying and where it is going to.
The least expensive option is a $8.00 donation... that is less than
3 pennies a day for 30 days. It is less than the spare change
you probably have in your pocket or purse. This option would a
great way to teach children about charity as well. Collecting
pennies daily for charity and learning the lesson of giving to
others and how lucky we really are that we live such a good life.
What can I
donate at Child Fund?
Clicking the Link above will take you to the Less than $25.00
donation page. By using the menu on the left you can choose
Categories for donation or Dollar amount. You can choose what
you would like to donation and its as simple as that. On the
$25.00 or less page you have many options for donation, 15 options
in fact and that is just something that I find very admirable.
So let’s challenge ourselves, we all can donate to charity even if
it is collecting a few pennies every day.
Below is a few of
the things you can donate.
- Weekly Radio show discussing Plus Sized Issues. Friday's
pm EST - Call in & Chat in our Chat Room.
Thank you for
Please send thoughts and comments to
Angie BEE grew-up a standard-sized young woman, educated in
communications, promotions and planning.
She became a wife, mother and ministry support member while
building businesses and her faith.
Through stress, age and a poor diet and while suffering from major
depression and attempted suicide, Angie BEE's weight climbed from
180 pounds to 360 pounds.
She was diagnosed with high blood pressure, diabetes,
obstructive sleep apnea, an overactive bladder and poor leg
circulation. At the age
of 40 an anxiety attack and the decline in her mental health forced
her to stop work and look at improving her declining health.
It was during this time that Angie BEE became inspired by her
younger sister Sonya Bennett during her process towards Gastric
Bypass Surgery. Sonya
launched this column and will return occasionally to contribute to
it, but now that she is three years-post surgery... her life is
focused on something new!
Now, celebrating her first year of a new life since having the
procedure herself, Angie BEE is healthier than she has been in over
a decade. Losing the
first 100 pounds was just the bonus!
She is now diabetes-free.
She has normal blood pressure.
The circulation in her legs is normal.
She sleeps without a c-pap machine and more!
The joy that she feels is documented each day in her
syndicated radio show, a brand new weekly
TV show documentary and each month in this article.
The Big GB stands for The BIG Gastric Bypass and it also
stands for "Getting (my life) Back".
This article reflects how Angie BEE's life has improved... by
the grace of God and as the result of having Gastric Bypass surgery
on Feb 28, 2011. This
is now her life!
It's Time to Reflect
In 2005 I began showing symptoms of major depression. I didn't
realize what my symptoms were. I was tired all the time, I couldn't
concentrate on what I read and I couldn't remember instructions that
I received. Everything seemed to worry and distress me; I had
nightmares every night and I had no appetite. These were MY
In 2006 I lived through my first of three suicide attempts.
Yep, there were three of them! This past weekend, I shared my
story with a group of people and a man laughed and said, "I bet you
were wondering what you were doing wrong the first two times!
LOL". Don't worry; I kept my composure as he laughed out loud at
himself. The next day I shared my story at a book-signing event and
I wish that I could have taken a picture of the faces in the
Nearly everyone can relate to mental illness in one way or another.
Whether, they themselves live with a mental illness or a relative.
Whether they "know" someone who has depression or bipolar disorder
or something, they can tell you things about that person but they
can't tell you what they are doing to help that person; How sad.
Some people have shared that I was suicidal because my daughters and
I lived with my abusive husband. Others say that I was suicidal
because I weighed 387 pounds. Others say that I wanted to "end it
all" because my ex-husband was a "pretty-boy-Floyd" who didn't want
to work and others said that I was still grieving the death of my
mother from 1999. It didn't matter 'WHY'; what mattered is that I
needed professional help!
Two weeks ago I married my best friend. After our wedding we
traveled to Detroit to visit my family and enjoyed a WONDERFUL
backyard bar-b-q reception. Oh My GOD! At one point during the
festivities I began to reflect on my life during the past few years.
What if one of those suicide attempts had been successful? What if
one of those violent acts from my ex-husband had killed my
daughters? What if I had not been obedient to God and launched this
ministry or what if I hadn't written this book? My syndicated radio
show would not be celebrating SEVEN YEARS on the air and most
importantly: what would have happened if my grandmother had not
shared with me how depression "runs in the family" and encouraged me
to seek professional help? What if? (Thank you Gram-Gram)
If a family can rejoice at the birth of a new baby or a wedding, why
can't we celebrate when a person becomes healed? Healing is the
first step towards being in charge of your life! When you are
healed from alcoholism or cigarette addition, why don't we celebrate
you? When you are still losing weight two years after gastric
bypass surgery, why don't we have a party for you? When you have a
birthday there are parties and dinners and gifts? Why not give a
gift when someone gives their life to Christ or dedicates their
talents and gifts to ministry? Why not celebrate when a person
announces that they are on anti-depressants and in weekly
counseling? Why is this action a taboo subject or considered "a
lack of faith" in certain circles? My faith tells me that God
provided counseling and medication for me so that I can STAY in
charge of my life and not let my mental illness be in charge of ME!
Praise God! I am large and in charge of my life. In August got
married and I still live with symptoms of depression... but at least
I now recognize my symptoms and I am LIVING with them. After my
wedding, my friend asked me "Are you happy now?" Well, of course I
am! I was happy during my suicidal years! Schizophrenics are happy
and so are folks that live with bipolar disorder. If I had another
anxiety attack tonight I would still be happy. Happiness has
nothing to do with a mental illness, and once we understand this, we
can help someone else. She meant no harm, but her question reminds
me that I have much work to do in sharing my story. A man (or
woman) doesn't make you happy. Losing weight doesn't make you
happy. You must find peace and happiness within yourself and
through your outward actions and THEN you can deal with the rest of
the mess that defines your life. That's why I am a Christian. I
have someone to love and someone that loves me even if I have no
parents, no siblings, no husband, no friends... I have Christ and he
loves me through it all. He will never leave me or forsake me and
that knowledge contributes to the happiness inside me.
I’m on tour autographing copies of my book and sharing my story. I
am celebrating seven years on the air as a syndicated radio show
host. My husband knows my symptoms and he helps me deal with them.
I am living with my curves and loving them! I still have to focus
on eating protein and drinking water and taking my vitamin
supplements since having gastric bypass surgery and I just got
medically approved for a tummy tuck! Yes, I am a
busy-little-bee-for-Christ and I love my life. Yes, I am happy, but
that doesn't mean that I don't still struggle on the REGULAR! It's
OK! I got God on my side and He ain't finished with me yet!
Today I chatted with my sister on the phone. She asked me "Why am I
the expert on fat issues? Everyone always asks me my opinion about
others and their lives as obese people and they want MY opinion!
Having had gastric bypass doesn't make me an expert!" I know what
you mean Sonya. Having tried to commit suicide somehow makes ME the
spiritual expert on the topic. When Pastor Rick Warren's youngest
son committed suicide, my Facebook blew up! When former Disney star
and "Rizzoli & Isles" co-star Lee Thompson Young committed suicide
my phone started ringing with people asking me questions. How?
Why? Now, I can accept that this is how our lives work better
together... by sharing our knowledge and experiences with others we
grow and enlarge our territories.
It may be difficult, but take time to share a dark time in your life
with someone that you know. Better than that, share it on your
social network pages! Your story may help someone grow from your
experience and rejoice over their achievement! If you can share the
wedding pictures with the world, why not share the tears too? Let's
really be IN CHARGE of our lives by no longer keeping mental illness
a secret and let's work to help someone else grow. You might just
help save a life... maybe even your own!
Much love and huggz!
Author, Magazine Publisher, Producer, Promoter &
The Host of The Hottest Home Hotspot WORLDWIDE
Syndicated Holy Hip Hop Radio Show
Last Week I wanted to Die!
NOW AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE!
Thanks for reading
The Big GB - Getting My
Life back after Gastric Bypass
with Angie Bee
Founded in 1969, NAAFA is a non-profit
civil rights organization dedicated to improving the quality of life
for fat people. NAAFA works to eliminate discrimination based on
body size and provide fat people with the tools for self-empowerment
through public education, advocacy, and member support.
This Column is dedicated to the tremendous
work NAAFA has been doing for over four decades. LargeInCharge
wishes to support NAAFA in spreading the word of its work, and give
the public more information into issues we as plus sized people
should be aware of. The fight for equality for people of all
sizes is one we support.
This Column will include News Releases and
Calls to Action from NAAFA Directors.
This Column has been Approved by NAAFA.org
NAAFA Moving Forward!
Fat activists, admirers and supporters of all sizes from across the
U.S., Canada, Germany, Norway, Sweden and the U.K. gathered to
attend the 2013 NAAFA Annual Convention & Expo held at the Las Vegas
Westin Hotel, Casino & Spa in Las Vegas, NV.
During the Annual General Meeting
on Friday afternoon, NAAFA Chairperson Jason Docherty reviewed
NAAFA’s accomplishments over the last year and introduced new
educational and support materials to assist people of all sizes
continue to move forward promoting NAAFA’s Equality At Every Size
and End Bullying Now campaigns.
Highlights of the convention included:
End Bullying Now t-shirts for every registered attendee donated
by Big Dogs
Dynamic keynote speakers: 2011 Ms. Plus America, Michelle
Anderson; Nomada What Productions CEO, Lynne Hurdle-Price;
Chubstr Media founder & CEO, Bruce Sturgell; and author,
researcher and nutrition professor Dr. Linda Bacon.
A vendor expo reception.
An announcement of new
Guidelines for Nutritionists and Dietitians.
The introduction of End Bullying Now fact sheet.
Fashion Show Extravaganza featuring Oakland, CA promoter,
Tigress Osborn, and the Full Figure Entertainment models wearing
the latest in big, beautiful, designer clothing worn by big
Special entertainment from the Jewels of Miehana and the
A stellar line-up of informative workshops covered such topics
as setting boundaries, knee friendly movement, water aerobics,
dance, fat friendly yoga, financial literacy, strategies to
reduce joint pain, “plus size” fashion blogging, size diversity
in the workplace, health, a gentlemen’s quarterly and more.
A lively town hall discussion.
End Bullying Now: Get Involved
featured the progress made by the NAAFA OC Chapter and shared
how others can take this campaign to their home towns.
NAAFA's Board of Directors thanks all attendees for supporting the
organization and its programs.
We invite fat activists, admirers and supporters of all sizes
to attend next year's convention, which promises more learning,
sharing, moving and caring!
Founded in 1969, NAAFA is a non-profit human rights organization
dedicated to improving the quality of life for fat people. NAAFA
works to eliminate discrimination based on body size and provide fat
people with the tools for self-empowerment through public education,
advocacy, and member support.
Thanks for reading
From the Desk of NAAFA
Some of you make know me as web girl/Lulu from Fashion Find. Well…
I’ve move on to another one of my favorite’s pastime which is
cooking. To get you all up to date on what’s going on. I’m currently
pursuing a graduate degree at Ashford University I have a B.A.
degree in Organizational Communication from Southeastern Louisiana
I am most passionate about cooking. I believe with cooking you can
always grow… I fried my first egg when I was 2 and baked my first
cake at 5. Cooking is an easy and dynamic experience if you have a
passion for a good tasting meal.
Motto: Cook with your heart not with your head.
If you have a favorite dish you would like to share please forward
with recipe and photo to
with Lucia Roth
DAY! Is upon us and
so is the month of September. For some it’s the end of the
summer and for other it’s the beginning of … however, for you
it’s another chance to have an excellent cookout to show off
your barbeque skills.
How many times have you boasted about your barbeque chicken,
ribs, and hamburgers; How about this time you brag about your
BBQ side dishes. Side dishes that will make your friend and
family mouth waters and asking for the recipe.
So instead of the same old BBQ potatoes salad, bake beans, and
macaroni salad trying something different for example, New
Orleans style crab cakes with Spicy Cajun Dipping Sauce.
New Orleans Crab Cakes
Spicy Cajun Dipping Sauce
For the crab cakes:
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
finely chopped green onion – white parts
tablespoons finely chopped bell pepper
tablespoons finely chopped celery
1 pound lump
2/3 cup fresh bread crumbs
tablespoons finely chopped fresh herbs (for example,
green onion tops, flat leaf parsley, celery leaf
from the heart)
2 eggs, beaten
salt and black pepper to taste
Louisiana hot sauce to
serve on the side
For the Creole Mustard Sauce:
1 cup plain yogurt
1 tbsp hot pepper, finely
1 tbsp red bell pepper, finely chopped
3 tablespoons Creole mustard
Creole Seasoning to taste
First, make the sauce by combining the yogurt, hot
pepper, bell pepper, and mustard. Add your Tony's in
1/2 teaspoon increments to taste, whisking to
combine after each addition. Refrigerate while
cooking the crab cakes.
Melt the butter over medium high heat.
Add the onions, celery, and bell pepper, then stir
once to coat the vegetables in melted butter.
Cook for 1-2 minutes to soften the vegetables, then
remove from heat and set aside to cool.
Beat the chopped herbs and lemon juice into the
eggs. Add the crab meat, the bread crumbs, and the
reserved onion-chile-butter mixture. Mix to combine
Taste a bit of the mixture and adjust seasoning, if
Form the mixture into 6 or more large crab cakes,
measuring with 1/2 cup measuring.
Heat a generous layer (¼ - ½ inch thick) of olive
oil in a pan large enough to easily fit all 4 crab
cakes over medium-high heat.
Gently coat each crab cake in cornmeal. When the oil
is rippling hot, carefully add the crab cakes to the
Cook until golden brown, about 3-4 minutes per side.
Serve immediately with the Creole Mustard Sauce, or
loosely cover and transfer to a warm oven until
ready to eat.
You can always double your recipe to hide some for
Ms Suga is a plus size woman hailing from Sunny South Florida. She
is a 24 year old recent recipient of a Bachelor in Arts degree in
Communication Studies. Being plus size for the majority of her life
she has overcome many obstacles to finally come to the point where
she is fully content with herself and her life. This self love has
also allowed Ms Suga the privilege of sharing her love with those
around her. She is very passionate about life and loves to help
Ms Suga likes to see herself as the one everyone can go
to for positive, inspirational and truthful words of advice and/or
support. She is the Beautiful Inspirational Girl that is blessed,
intellectual, trustworthy, caring and hardworking.
Ms Suga has had a passion for writing since she was a
little girl when she used to think of short stories about what her
life would be like as she got older. This is Ms Suga’s first
opportunity for her thoughts to be public for the world to see.
Excited about this column Ms Suga is also very optimistic of her
future in writing and promoting self love and acceptance in the plus
What will your Legacy be?
with Ms Suga
So I was listening to Steve Harvey the other morning, and his
morning inspirational message was about your legacy, and what
will you be remembered by. This of course made me think about my
life, my actions and my own legacy. Some of you know I try to
live a good life; I try to stay out of trouble and not be
provoked into reacting in an “unladylike manner.” Please note I
said TRY. It’s a difficult struggle to be good but hey no one
said life itself would be easy. Any way, knowing that we live in
a world of technology I know for certain my words I have shared
with you all over the past 3 years will be remain even after I’m
gone. It might take some searching but that’s ok I hope these
words I write today will help someone in the future. But other
than these articles how will I be remembered? Will people
remember me for my kind hearted and helpful nature, or will I be
remembered for the reckless life I once lived in my late teen
and early 20s? Will I do something when I reach the age of 60
that will go down in history? Or will the only people to think
about me once I’m dead be my family? Gosh I hope not but hey you
So my question for you is what will your message to the world
be? Think about all the famous dead people and how we experience
their legacies every day. Thomas Edison invented the filament to
give us the light bulb and now the product of his legacy lights
up absolutely everything! George Washington Carver invented 101
things to do with a peanut and many years and variations later
we have Nutella. Madam CJ Walker started her own hair care
products for women of color and from her legacy many of women (
and men) can look in the mirror and think “My hair is laid
like…” in my Funky Dineva voice (If you don’t know who I’m
talking about please find the doll on youtube you won’t regret
it. Now don’t think I’m trying to pressure you into finding the
next greatest invention. All I want you to think about is how
you will be remembered either by a few people or an entire
nation of people.
My grandmother passed away in 2007 she was an awesome woman that
could be mean and caring at the same time; but the legacy of
Mrs. Bill was her strength. She gave birth to 11 children only
to bury 5 of them and her husband before passing on herself. She
survived the trials of motherhood, marriage and Monticello
Florida (a very small town in the backwoods of northern
Florida). My grandmother was not perfect but her name and her
memory won’t be tainted with her faults. What about your
ancestors? That uncle, who will always be remembered for
starting the electric slide at every family function. Or that
aunt who perfected the art of macaroni and cheese and only a few
women in the family know her secret and can replicate it during
As Steve Harvey said the other morning “On your tombstone is
your birthday, the day you died and a dash in the middle. What
will your dash be?” Don’t wait until your time is nearly up to
realize you haven’t done anything with this life you are given.
You only live once so make the most and the best of it while you
still can. I can honestly say I’d rather live a life of lessons
than a life of regrets. Take the time to make this world a great
place for you and your families. So when judgment day comes you
won’t have to wonder what your fate will be; hold your head up
high and know that you have done some good deeds.
As always inspire and be inspired, encourage and be encouraged
to be the best person you can be.
Until next time.
Kathy is originally from a small town in Michigan but has lived in
San Diego County since she's been 18 years old. Kathy
graduated from San Diego State University with a Bachelors in
Finance in 1999.
She has a real estate broker’s license and works as a mortgage
Kathy also owns BBW Club Catalina in San Diego which has monthly
night club parties and other fun events on a frequent basis.
Kathy has been an avid supporter of NAAFA, Vegas BBW Bash and
San Diego BBW Bash and believes in size acceptance and health at
Kathy is a firm believer that people need to have a full life by
going to the movies, dinner, bowling, dancing and anything that will
make them a happier person and not wait till they are at the perfect
size to start living their life to the fullest.
Kathy is in her mid-40's and her children are grown and living
productively on their own.
In her spare time she likes trying new restaurants, dancing,
modeling, bowling and spending time with family and friends.
How to get your Guy to Commit to You
I think we all have a different definition on what we feel it is
to be in a committed relationship. When we were
little girls most of us dreamed about dating and falling in love
then eventually getting married and having our own family.
First comes love, then comes marriage then comes baby in the
baby carriage was chanted by my sisters and I when we were
I have to admit to watching shows on occasion in the afternoon
like Maury, Steve Wilkos Show, Bill Cunningham and the
notoriously ghetto Jerry Springer. The people on
these shows for the most part do not have their acts together
and are brought on these shows basically for shock affect.
I always think wow my life is so much better than that after
I've watched these shows and wonder if people really make these
kind of stupid mistakes or if it's scripted. A lot of these
shows are about cheating and people not willing to commit to the
person they are dating.
I think one of my biggest pet peeves on these shows is when
someone says they have been dating someone for 10+ years and
they have 3 + kids. They want a commitment but they haven't
been given the commitment they want which is usually marriage.
I can't imagine having 3 to 7 children with a man and living
with this man as I was his wife but he calls me his girlfriend
or fiancé. I watched another talk show about why men
do not commit to marriage and the bottom line was that the woman
never said directly to him this is what I want, this is what I
need to make me feel complete and happy in my life.
I listen to men say they don't want to get married because it's
just a piece of paper and after their friends got married that
the wives changed for the worse. The sad thing about
some of these stories is the man never had any intention of ever
marrying the woman but yet continued to have children with her
and lead her on to think that it was a possibility in the
What are some signs that the man you are dating wants a
committed future with you?
1. He introduces you to his family and friends
2. He loves talking to you and he is using his free time to get
to know you well.
3. When he thinks of you as a couple and switches from saying
"I' to "we" or "mine" to "ours"
4. He talks about his future plans and you are there with him
in his future plans.
5. Your interests matter to him so he will go places and do
things with you because he wants you to be happy.
What can you do to get your man to commit to you?
1. Definitely be yourself and the happy person he fell in love
2. Don't be clingy and make sure to give him his space so he
knows he will still have his freedom when he's in a committed
relationship with you.
3. Don't try to make him jealous by making him think that other
men want you because this often back fires.
4. Make sure you are his friend and not just his lover, good
sex comes and good sex goes but being someone he can talk to
about anything is what he really needs.
5. Tell him that you need and want a commitment from him.
Some food for thought....People treat us how we allow them to
treat us so if you allow someone to treat you like an option
instead of a priority than they probably will. I
know sometimes it's hard to say what you really want but if you
don't vocalize what you want you may never get it.
Celebrating almost two decades as a Graphic Designer/Published
Illustrator, Jean Nerestant Jr (Jness) got his start as a graphic
artist in 1994, Still working as a graphic designer by day/ Jness
devotes time to his hip hop Culture, comic book art and Plus
One thing I have learned in forty something odd years of
living is that life is richly and abundantly saturated with
challenges that seem to be tailor made for the purpose of
testing character and moral integrity. With that being said, I
am sure that many of you might agree with that theory. Then if
that is the true purpose of life’s mountains and valleys, we
have to strive for that bitter sweet spot of righteous
unwavering character. This is the very virtue that greatness is
gleaned from. As complicated as an individual’s life can be, my
careful review has lead me to believe that there are two ways to
walk through life, with your head up or with your head down.
When you choose one of these methods of walking through
life several things happen. The first thing that either posture
can affect is how you feel about yourself. Walking with your
head down makes your outlook one of defeat. For example a track
runner would have a difficult time gaging a rapidly approaching
hurdle with their head down.
When attempting to clear obstacles, it is better to keep your
head up, because it makes a statement of confidence to every
onlooker and challenger. Hence the second thing that is affected
by your posture, the way you are perceived by others. Keep your
head up. In reality every runner can’t win the race but, how it
was run, and how you finish makes you a winner and a force to be
This month’s new illustration features a fashionable curvy
beauty, and diva in the making. This piece is called CONFIDENCE.
It makes reference to, how a person feels, how they want to be
received, and most importantly who they are. Dress your best, be
your best, show you’re very best, and don’t yield to every
invitation that comes your way to distract you. You are far too
valuable for that, Big, with much more to offer, beautiful in so
many ways and ready for the world. You are poised for the
challenge and confident of what the outcome will be.
LargeInCharge Hopes that you enjoyed this article.
Our writer and artistic contributor JNess will be taking a
so please enjoy his previous artwork and writing in
our other 2013 LargeInCharge Magazine Issues.
Check out Jness in our
Hello there all my fashion loving friends. My name is Amy Lucas and
in this column I hope to bring you some new outfits that will make
you feel great and be Large and In Charge.
My whole life has not been devoted to fashion as my background is in
teaching Spanish, Math, and Science. I also have a master’s degree
in Central Office Administration.
With that said, I have been wearing
plus sizes for as long as I can remember so I do know the struggles we all
face to find cute clothes. I come from a smaller town in Michigan, which
means I have an even harder time finding plus size clothing in my area
since the choices are so limited; as well as, the sizes and styles each
Out of necessity, I started looking
online instead of just settling for the places here and have found that
other women could use the help too. I run a fashion group on Facebook
called BBW Fashion where I post something fabulous each day hoping to help
all those to find what they want in their size.
In my career, I've helped plus size
students and their parents to find fashion in their sizes that would help
them with their self-esteem and make them feel good about themselves. I
have also dabbled in fashion before this modeling for three different
stores, winning a cover model spot in July of 2012 in Large in Charge
magazine, and I was Ms. LBC 2008 for Linda's Big Connections in Chicago. I
look forward to showing you what is available in plus size fashion and
help you to look even more beautiful and chic.
12 Outfits To Fall For This Season
with Amy Lucas
There are so many new trends coming to fashion this fall you can
easily incorporate them into your current wardrobe or create a
whole new wardrobe with them.
Warm colors such as plum, hunter green, and tan will warm things up this
season while cobalt blue will be a popular pick too. Further, animal
prints will be everywhere you look this fall; as well as, black, grey, and
white. Spikes and studs will adorn a lot of clothing creating a hot edgy
look. Statement necklaces and earrings will be catching your attention and
can add some drama to any outfit. Leather and motorcycle jackets will also
be a hit this fall. Lastly, peplum will continue to create that feminine
sexy look women want.
Plus Size Dress in Royal, sizes 12-32, $175,
Pearl & Curved Chain Necklace, $22,
Trudi in pewter glam fabric, comes in medium and wide
Townsend Lace Frame Clutch in blue,$26.95,
Babydoll Top, sizes 0-4x, $38.50,
Denim- Dark Wash Ankle Zip Stiletto Jeans (28” inseam),
sizes 12-28, $58.50,
Diva” Court Shoes in midnight blue, comes in wide width,
Candy Color Chandelier Earrings in royal blue, $12,
Leather Clutch Bag With Punch Out, $74.94,
by City Chic, sizes 14-24, $68,
Studded Strapless Dress, sizes 12-26, $68.50,
Graziano “Bedazzle Me” Crystal 15 ½ Mesh Bib Necklace,
Cutout Heel, comes in wide width, $69.95,
Stud Satchel in double cream, $34.50,
Sweeney” Collarless Biker Jacket in off white, sizes
Shoulders Short Sleeve Pullover, sizes 0-4x, $34.50,
Skater Skirt In Leather, sizes 14-24, $143.45,
Spike Necklace by Lane Bryant in silver, $34.95,
Studded Pumps, comes in wide width, $44.50,
MMSCL98088 Studded Chain Two Way Clutch in
Eugenia Vintage Plus Size Wedding Gown, sizes 12-32,
Lace Organza Keyhole Back Gown
by Allure Bridals,
available in white/silver or ivory/silver, $958.00
Studio Trench Coat With Pleather Trim in khaki, sizes
Beaded Appliqué Strapless Top, sizes 0-5x, $38.50,
With Faux Leather Stripe Leggings, sizes 0-4x, $24.50,
Robbins Bootie in black, comes in medium and wide width,
Island Leather and Suede Simple Slouch Bag, $50.63,
Bib Necklace in black/gold, $12.80,
Peplum Ponte Dress in purple/black, sizes 1-3x, $198,
Purple Statement Necklace and Earrings Set Fashion
Jewelry sold by Pammy J, $26.99,
Purple Satin Purse, $40,
Toe Pump in black, comes in wide width, $59.95,
Peplum Runway Tee by Denim 24/7 in black, sizes s-5x,
Grey Lace Side Detail Pixie Pant, sizes 0-5x, $58.50,
Double-Sided Charm Chain Necklace in black, $24.99,
Betsey Johnson Yours Mine and Our Tote in black, $79.95,
Kelly & Katie Lecia Flat, comes in medium and wide
Cowl Neck Striped Knit Tunic in black/cream, sizes
Fleece Leggings in black, come in two sizes, $28.95,
Metallic Wave Earrings, $22,
Women’s Rockport Seven to 7 Wedge Pump in black suede,
comes in medium and wide width, $139.95,
Women’s Flynn Python Satchel, $19.99,
Sevilla Dress in plum, sizes 10/12-26/28, $229,
Miami Laser Cut Shopper in grey, $33.74,
Fiore Necklace & Earring Set in black diamond, $40,
Mary Jane patent pump in red vino, comes in wide width,
“Coby” Ponte Button Front Dress in tan, sizes 1-3x,
Glam Statement Necklace, $13.99,
Rockport Janae Plain Peep in natural, comes in both wide
and medium width, $97.99,
Glitz and Glam Clutch in camel, $29.95,
Chevron Cardigan in flame scarlet, sizes 14-28, $49.95,
Athena Twist Top in black noir, sizes 0-5x, $64,
Stitch Laser-Cut Pencil Skirt, sizes 1-4x, $17.88,
Betsey Johnson On The Flipside Two Tone Satchel, $79.95,
RSVP Julie Lynn shoe in red, comes in both wide and
medium width, $79,
Endless Autumn Jewel
Earrings in red, $13,
Plus Size Square Buckle Stretch Belt, $29.95,
Jay Hansen and Heidi Davis are size-acceptance advocates from Oklahoma and
co-own Oklahoma's only social size-acceptance group,
Oklahoma BBW, BHM, and their
Admirers. Heidi was born in 1969 and has been a large woman her whole
life, just as Jay has been an admirer of such plus-sized women all of his.
Heidi graduated High School in 1987, which is the same year Jay was born.
The two met online in 2005 and quickly developed a friendship. In 2009,
Jay graduated the University of Central Oklahoma with a Bachelor’s in
English Education, and the following year he and Heidi started dating and
quickly fell deeply in love.
Heidi is experienced, blunt, pragmatic, down-to-earth, and strong in every
sense of the word, while Jay is intellectual, articulate, ideological,
contemplative, and gentle. Heidi is eighteen years Jay's senior and nearly
three times his weight, while Jay is 140 pounds soaking wet with a brick
in his pocket. He's a king amongst nerds and all things geeky; she's a
tattooed, rough-and-tumble, hard rocker to her core. Together, they are a
beautiful personification of the old adage
"The Skinny on Big Love with Jay Hansen" was started in 2013 with Jay as
the primary writer and Heidi as his muse and endless source of ideas and
inspiration. Together, the two hope to provide people with a new frame of
mind on love and relationships, promote open-mindedness and acceptance,
ask intriguing questions, foster conversations, and prove to the world
that titles such as weight and age, amongst countless others, should never
stand in the way of one's pursuit of happiness.
Well Rounded Roundup
with Jay Hansen
Me and Heidi, being all adorable
Now that I've had a couple of days to rest after the Well Rounded Las
Vegas Bash, I can finally sit down and write about the experience. This
was my very first national size acceptance and BBW event as well as my
first time in Las Vegas, so I got a lot out of it, and I'm happy to say it
was almost all positive. I met a lot of people I've wanted to meet for
years, made a bunch of new friends, and got some great networking and
promotion done for our Oklahoma BBW group. Going in, I was certain that I
would not go back for a second year if only because of my work schedule,
but we had such a blast that it completely changed my mind and I look
forward to going again!
Still though, as wonderful as the positive experiences were, a wealth of
lessons can be learned from what few negative ones were had. The first
lesson I learned was that we Okies really aren't built for altitude; my
ears were already popping in New Mexico for crying out loud. By time we
reached Vegas I thought my brain was going to get squeezed out my face
from the pressure.
But seriously, the problems we encountered primarily came from the
preparation stages for the trip. I managed to get off work seven hours
early to shower, finish packing, load up the car, and head out on our 18
hour road trip. Despite this, we still got out two hours late, and forgot
many important items. So in all seriousness, it's never too early to start
loading up the car the day of departure, and there's no such thing as
being "too thorough" in double, triple, and quadruple checking your
luggage. We forgot power strips for our thirteen electronic devices,
pillows for the 18 hour car ride, and even our custom-made costumes which
I thankfully remembered about five minutes out so we could turn around and
Costume night! The Doctor and the TARDIS!
Looking back on it, we probably could have asked the hotel for some power
strips to use during our stay, because they obliged us on all of our other
needs. We requested a complimentary mini-fridge and shower stool in our
room on the grounds that they were medical necessities. Heidi had
medication that needed to be refrigerated, and her knee issues it makes it
almost impossible for her to shower without the aid of a stool. Never be
afraid to ask for these things for free if you have a genuine need for
them. It worked for us, and the worst thing that could happen is that
you're told no.
Me, Heidi, and our Vegas buddy Lori
As for the actual event, the biggest problems we encountered all fell
under one theme, taking care of yourself. For each member of our
entourage, we encountered varying and unique meanings of this phrase. The
most urgent was what happened to our friend Lori, who ran into trouble
with taking care of herself physically. Thursday evening she started to
feel very ill, and by Friday had gotten so bad we had to take her to the
Emergency Room where she found out she had strep throat, a sinus
infection, an ear infection and was somewhat dehydrated. She was not
drinking enough water to stay hydrated in comparison to the alcohol she
had consumed, nor had she consumed enough fruits and nutritional food,
which weakened her immune system (as well as prolonged time in a very cold
pool). The doctor that saw her even mentioned that just by breathing the
air in Las Vegas you can get dehydrated because the air is so dry.
Thankfully, she got feeling better before the bash was done, but we
definitely marked it down as a lesson for next year. Push lots of water,
especially in ratio to your alcohol, eat healthy, avoid crap food, and
always be germ-conscious of the environments you're in (i.e. wash or
disinfect your hands as often as possible).
Me on the Plaza rooftop at night
Heidi on the Plaza rooftop at night
The second way we learned to take care of ourselves was psychologically,
and mostly through me. I'm an introverted, always-on-the-move, creature of
habit; three traits ill-suited for a BBW Bash. Normally, I'm an early
bird, not a night owl, and yet I found myself in a situation where I had
to switch. The first few nights, consciously or not, I resisted and didn't
even make it to the end of a single party night until Friday. When I did
though (thanks to a hardy nap late that afternoon) Heidi and I attended
one of the pool parties and it was so pleasant outside on the roof during
the night I was kicking myself for not having done it all week. So for
next year I've learned to not be so afraid of changing up my schedule, as
much as biology may protest.
In addition, Heidi was astonished by my complete and utter incapability to
just sit down and relax and by how social I was. I spent energy daily by
taking strolls through the Freemont Street Experience or just through the
casino and lobby when it was too hot outside. It kept me busy, prevented
cabin fever (hotel fever?), and gave me plenty of time to be alone with my
thoughts; an important aspect of keeping an introvert happy and healthy.
It was also my introverted nature that led to Heidi's surprise in how
social and interactive I was with other party goers, whether we knew them
Group photo! Left to right, Tommy, Lori, Me, and Heidi
This is a common misconception about introverts; that we supposedly don't
enjoy social interaction, quite the contrary, as a matter of fact. The
catch is that an introvert will traditionally not speak unless either they
are spoken to or they have a reason to speak; the latter of which was most
applicable to me at the Well Rounded event. As a group owner, complete
with business cards for Oklahoma BBW, I had a good conversation starter,
and more importantly, a reason to converse by promoting our group at a
national event. I’m proud to say I actually ran out of business cards!
Me showing off the shirt I had made to promote our Oklahoma BBW group
Perhaps even more than that though, I was very comfortable in the
environment. I knew people there would not be overly judgmental or
critical of me as we were all part of the same community. We seek to
foster this same environment at all of our own group functions in
Oklahoma, and I'm pleased to say that the management and participants of
Well Rounded achieved that same goal for us. As for Heidi, though, the
environment provided a new challenge for her, which leads me to my final
point on taking care of oneself.
More of me and Heidi
As I’ll be writing more about next month, Heidi has significant paranoia
issues. She’s been cheated on far too many times in her life, and she was
seriously concerned about me being put into an environment with so many
other plus-sized women for the first time in my life and the temptations
it would pose. This became a matter of emotional health, and the health of
our relationship. Throughout the event, I would frequently ask her how she
felt emotionally or if anything was bothering her that I may or may not
have done. Furthermore, I made sure to tell her where I was going and what
I was doing each day, and that we attended any Well Rounded functions
One night we were running very late to the evening party on account of
Lori’s illness, and since Heidi takes significantly longer to prepare for
the evening than I do I was stuck waiting in the hotel room for nearly an
hour with nothing to do while she prepared and Lori slept. For half a
second, the thought crossed my mind of asking to go ahead and go down
without her (if only to stake our claim on the table nearest the water
cooler), but I knew Heidi couldn’t emotionally handle that on top of the
stress of her friend being sick so I didn’t even make the proposition.
It may seem to be an inconvenience at times, but we all have our own
unique needs, be they physical or emotional, and we sometimes have to make
sacrifices to fulfill those needs. It’s called love, and it's the most
important ingredient in taking care of yourself and those around you.
Plus, when it was all over and we were on our way home, Heidi said she had
more trust in me than ever because of how I reacted to the environment and
did more to help alleviate her insecurities than anything else I've yet
But even with Lori’s sickness, Heidi’s mixed emotions, and me running up
the walls like a caged squirrel, we had a wonderful time in Las Vegas. We
met lots of great people and had a lot of fun. If anything, my only regret
is not being even more social and taking more opportunities to meet new
people. As of the day I wrote this, we are officially going to Well
Rounded 2014, and I’m already counting the days!
Me, Heidi, and our friends from Texas George and Dawn
They say a picture is worth a thousand words too, so instead of just
telling you about all the individual great moments we had, here’s some of
the great pictures we snapped!
Heidi and our friend from Norway, Tommy
More of our Bash friends, Gary and Tawnee
Me and Bruce; kilts and other manshit
The Doctor and Glinda the Good Witch (me and Brie)
From left to right; Dawn, Heidi, and Lori in her cavewoman outfit!
The Doctor and Wolverine (me and Bruce)
The AMAZING cake made for the Bash by Sonny Robinson
Being silly at breakfast (Tommy, Heidi, me)
Me and fellow Large in Charge contributor Peggy Howell! So glad we got to
meet in Vegas!
I was born in San Diego,
California on August 30, 1972.
Grew up in
San Jose, San Francisco, and San Diego California.
I Graduated from San Diego State University in
1996 with a Bachelors Degree in Journalism
(Radio-TV News) and a Bachelors Degree in
I interned with U.S.
Senator Dianne Feinstein from 1995-1996.
interned with CBS News during the 1996 Republican
Currently I'm a
Licensed Sales Representative with Pacific Shores
Real Estate, Inc. in Solana Beach, California
I'm Co-Owner of Club Catalina BBW Night Club
in San Diego, CA.
And a newlywed, married
to Kathy Edmondson as of December 31, 2012.
I am the father of one daughter - Safiyah
Edmondson (8) and stepfather to two young men,
Alexander Hernandez (22) and John Rhakman Macklin
I enjoy bowling, basketball, tennis,
football. I play 12 musical instruments. I also
design a web page for a real estate company.
Big Heartache maybe Treatable
with David Edmondson
I usually try to stay away from topics like romance. I
could sit here and talk about the experiences I’ve had
and the fact that I’m happily married now; however, it
did not work for me the first time. I could use the
example of my grandparents and the fact that they were
married for 48 years until my grandfather passed away in
1987, but their experience was far different from the
ones facing modern day couples.
The fact of the matter is, no one; not Steve Harvey, Dr.
Ruth Westheimer, not your local Pastor, Priest nor your
parents have that magic cure all be all for relationship
rules. This is an especially difficult conversation for
Men of size to discuss amongst us. It seems that guys
with perfect abs seem to attract all of the women,
leaving slim pickings. Those whom try for the women that
are left, fall victim to women, whom take advantage of
them financially, because they can. The main reason
seems to be self-esteem.
There is no formula as to what women, big men are
attracted to, as we like whom we like individually.
However, we are not featured on your fitness, sports or
style magazines. Certain women feed into that and can
spot a mark, the moment they set foot into a room. They
constantly remind him that he is lucky to be in the same
room with them. These women will also take advantage of
financial opportunities, shopping sprees on frivolous
items, help with their bills; some will not work,
insisting that a man pay their way. Yet, we as big men
know we are being taken advantage of, but will continue
suffering the consequences, because we feel no one else
There are those of us whom have a rent attitude when it
comes to women. We don’t want to be taken advantage of
or we have already been hurt and want to take it out on
all of those whom come in contact with us. Thus, we have
placed the friends with benefits policy on those women
whom agreed to those terms. Yet, at the end of the day,
though we try to build a wall of protection around
ourselves, we eventually shatter, because we are not
able to find true love.
Then there are those who turn a blind eye and have no
idea they are being taken advantage of and for those
people, here are a few signs to look for.
Not all of us can be with that certain someone everyday
of our lives, but you should have some sort of daily
contact and be able to see each other at least twice a
week. If you are not doing these things, your
relationship is not real.
If you have to spend two to three weekends out with your
friends, explaining to those who will listen, why your
significant other is not with you, you are not in a
relationship or she is with somebody else and using you
as a backup.
If this person is with you only twice a month for a
three day period, which happens to coincide with your
pay period, and then finds an excuse why she cannot be
with you any other time; then you are not in a
relationship, you are a paycheck.
So how do you begin to obtain a good relationship with
the opposite sex? You start with YOU. You have to have a
set of standards and stick with those standards no
matter what. This is not to say that you set physical
standards, as beauty is in the eye of the beholder; but
you do need to know what you are willing to put up with
and what you cannot tolerate. For example, she needs to
have long term goals or has to have a job or perhaps you
want to have kids. These are not unreasonable values and
just know that you are evaluating, you are also being
evaluated. Honesty is also a key component, any white
lie you tell in the beginning, can and usually does come
back to bite you end the end.
No one human being is immune from issues of the heart.
There will be happy times, there will be rough periods.
Each situation is unique, no matter how many times we
claim to have the same issues. The truth is no one can
protect you from heartache 100% of the time. But you can
be proactive and recognize the signs of those who are
taking advantage of you by staying true to, being honest
with and learning to truly love YOURSELF.
Return to Back Issues of
Return to the Front