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LargeInCharge Magazine -  Nine Years and Counting!

 Issue#116 - November 2013

Welcome to LargeInCharge Magazine

In this Issue of L.I.C.

 

 

Raqui-ism

Words of Wisdom from the Heart & Mind of Raqui

 

The Big GB Getting my Life Back after Gastric Bypass  Angie Bee

 

From the Desk of NAAFA

National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance

 

FOoDiE in You ~ Lucia Roth

 

The B.I.G. Beautiful Inspirational Girl  - Ms Suga

 

Dating Survival for Today's Woman

Kathy Edmondson

 

The Observer - Jness

 

Curvy Styles - Amy Lucas

 

The Skinny on Big Love - Jay Hansen

 

Thinking Big - David Edmondson

 

LargeInChargeDating - Dating for the Large People who are going to be in Charge of their Love Lives!

 

LargeInCharge Friends - The Place for Big People to make Friends and maybe MUCH MORE!

 

What does Fat Discrimination Look Like?

 

What does Fat Discrimination Look Like?

Internet Source: CLICK HERE Written by: Deborah Lupton January 2, 2013

Senior Principal Research Fellow, Department of Sociology and Social Policy at University of Sydney - Australia

 

Fat discrimination is rife and considered completely acceptable.

 

People who are deemed overweight or obese (as the medical terms have it) or fat (as many fat activists prefer to call their body size) suffer discrimination, prejudice and humiliation from several fronts.

 

Television programs such as The Biggest Loser hold them up to contempt and public shaming. News media reports on obesity constantly display photographs of fat bodies with their heads cropped off – the “headless fatty” representation - and commonly use derogatory expressions ranging from “lazy” and “flabby” to “fat arses” and “unsightly slobs”.

 

Weight stigma has significant effects on fat people’s lives. Compared with others, fat people are statistically more likely to live in poverty, earn less income or be unemployed, have lower education levels, be employed in lower status jobs and experience lower living standards. Women in professional occupations are particularly discriminated against in the workplace if they are overweight, failing to reach the higher echelons compared with thinner colleagues.

 

In social terms, fat people receive less respect from others and are often subjected to derogatory humor and pejorative comments from co-workers, friends and family members and, in public settings, from strangers. Health care workers openly admit to being “repulsed” by fat people.

 

Children can face social isolation or bullying over their weight.

 

Fat children are subjected to greater harassment and prejudice than other children, and experience ostracism, teasing and bullying to a greater extent. Remarkably, even their own parents may favor their thinner children over their bigger ones.

 

In a society in which most people understand that discriminating overtly against social groups such as women, people of minority ethnic or racial groups, gays and lesbians and people with disabilities is wrong, and where such discrimination is legally prohibited, fat people, are apparently fair game.

 

Why this hostility and lack of compassion towards fat people? Why this apparent urge on the part of many to shame and blame people who are deemed to carry too much flesh?

 

Perception of Fat Bodies

 

Fat bodies are culturally represented as inferior, deficient, ugly and disgusting. These meanings have developed over centuries, derived from the Judeo-Christian idea that the disciplined body is closer to God. An ascetic self-control over such bodily urges as hunger and sexual desires is evidence of moral superiority and relative lack of sin.

 

While we live in a more secular society today, these moral assumptions still dominate in our understandings of the value of self-discipline and how it is reflected in our body size and shape.

 

Perceptions of obesity as an expensive health crisis have increased stigma.

 

Added to these meanings are the newer ideas derived from medicine and public health, intensifying in the late 1990s, that an obesity epidemic has emerged in many countries that it is predicted will lead to higher rates of disease and premature mortality. Intensive mass media coverage of this issue has led to the idea that fat people are not only ill-disciplined but also inevitably sick and physically unfit, regardless of where they fall on the body weight spectrum.

 

Unlike other attributes that commonly attract discrimination and marginalization such as skin color, gender or disability, fat people are viewed as deserving of their fate because of their apparent lack of self-control. They are also often represented as threatening others by attracting higher health-care costs. This reasoning is used to justify fat stigmatization, even though others who may need higher levels of health care are not treated to such revilement.

 

Ironically, fat people often avoid attending medical appointments because of their concerns about being judged negatively by the doctor. This means they may not receive early preventive treatment for medical conditions they may have.

 

Fat equals failure

 

People who identify as fat or overweight are highly aware of the moral failure that their bodies represent. Research with fat people has identified the shame they may feel about their bodies, and the social humiliation to which they are often exposed by others. In an English study, for example, one man spoke about his emotional distress at being laughed at by some young men while sitting in the sun in his shorts while on holiday:

 

“…they could see me and they were laughing and joking and carrying on and it was only as they got past that I realized that they were laughing at me, about how fat I was. And er, I mean, it hurts.”

 

Fat people often express highly negative thoughts about their bodies. As a weight-loss blogger who wrote about her weight gain explained: “I felt ashamed. I felt ugly. I felt like some sort of animal.”

 

Even grocery shopping can be confronting for bigger people.

 

Fat people often feel very self-conscious about going out in public, particularly eating out or grocery shopping. They are highly aware that others are examining and making judgments about what and how they’re eating. They feel out of place, open to mockery and very exposed. As one fat woman commented, for her, “even grocery shopping is an exercise in courage.”

 

Given the discrimination to which fat people are subjected, it’s not surprising they’re more likely than others to suffer from depression, anxiety and low self-esteem, which in turn may lead to a greater likelihood that they will eat for comfort. Medication taken for these mental health conditions may also lead to gaining weight.

 

Whether or not socioeconomic disadvantage leads to fatness, or whether fatness itself causes poverty and other forms of social and economic disadvantage is a point of debate.

 

The lower socioeconomic status of fat people in itself is more likely to cause health problems. The combination of living in poverty, experiencing stigma based on body weight and accompanying diminished social status causes continuing stress.

 

In conjunction with poor living conditions and the lack of opportunity to exercise and consume a high-quality diet, disadvantaged people’s exposure to stress may result in illness and disease. These medical conditions in turn may not be treated effectively because of lack of access to high quality medical care.

 

Lack of compassion

 

People who discriminate against fat people, or consider it appropriate to use fat-shaming terms when talking about or to them, don’t seem to view fat people as real human beings who are hurt, and humiliated by their actions, and may be struggling with significant socioeconomic disadvantage or mental health conditions.

 

Or perhaps they simply don’t care about this in their belief that fat people deserve punishment for their supposed inability to control their urges and their lack of conformity to idealized notions of physical attractiveness.

 

In a supposedly modern and compassionate society such as Australia, shouldn’t fat discrimination be viewed for what it is? It is a kind of bigotry and represents a lack of understanding, compassion and tolerance for bodily difference.

 

It shouldn’t just be fat people who call attention to fat bigotry and fat phobia. All of us are implicated if we accept the negative concepts of fatness that currently circulate in our culture and tolerate fat discrimination from others.

 

Deborah Lupton is the author of Fat (Routledge, October 2012)

 

 

 
 

Thank you for Reading The LargeInCharge Feature

 

Cover Model of the Month!

Bretina Lynn Craft

 

Want to be a LargeInCharge Cover Model? Download the Application for 2013 - HERE

COVER MODEL INTERVIEW

 

 

LargeInCharge.com: What your name?

Bretina Lynn Craft

LargeInCharge.com: Where are you located?

I’m from Moores hill Indiana, and reside in Moores Hill. I recently moved back.

LargeInCharge.com: Can you give us some information about yourself?

25, 5'3, 24 petite, American, Single, I have 2 fantastic children!

LargeInCharge.com: Were you a big child, or did you gain weight later in life?

I’ve always been bigger than what was considered normal. After having my son it put me over the 300 marker making me a supersized bbw :)

Growing up as a bigger child I couldn’t really understand why people or other children made such a deal out of it. The older I’ve gotten I’ve realized there are much worse things to be in life than being big. I’m honest, true to myself and others and truly beautiful.

I gained 80 pounds from being pregnant with my son. I was never able lose it. I’m completely ok with that.

LargeInCharge.com: What made you decide to enter the LargeInCharge model search? 

I’ve been told so many times by others that have met me or seen my pictures that they wish they could do that! I always encourage them and tell them that they can. I’m confident and I love who and what I am and have become.

LargeInCharge.com: Did you find it a hard journey to be accepted for your size, and do you find acceptance among your family and friends?

I make it very apparent to others that I’m very ok with my size.  Typically once this is figured out, others seem to accept it and love it. My family for the most part has been accepting. I don’t hide what I am or shy away from my size. I never let it keep me from doing anything that I want to do

LargeInCharge.com: What would you say inspires you most in life?

People, I’ve went through a lot in life. I lost both of my parents to cancer by the age of 23. I try to turn everything bad into something good. I believe that the actions of another can completely change a person’s day. Be kind be fair and it will always be returned to you in one way or another.

LargeInCharge.com: What is your primary occupation, and how did you get into this line of work?

I make cakes. Think ace of cakes or cake boss. It lets my creativity out in a fun and edible way. I got into this by a random occurrence of my son needing a cake I wanted him to have something different and special. It’s been non-stop since then.

LargeInCharge.com: Do you find acceptance in the work force?

I can always tell that people have doubts when I’ve worked places, just because of the stereo-types attached to larger people. I try to break out beyond these stereo types on a consistent basis and do the best that I can. You can always tell when people are surprised. That’s when I get my "I told you so moment"

LargeInCharge.com: What changes do you believe should take place for Large People in the work force?

Prejudgment! We aren’t lazy, dumb, or incapable because we carry around extra weight. We are simply a human being in bigger packaging.

LargeInCharge.com: What do you think about the fashion industry for big sized clothing?

This is one of my biggest complaints. I love trendy plus size wear; I’m big but want to feel sexy to. I can rock a mini skirt just as good as skinny girl. Don’t try to restrain me in "grandma fashions" just because YOU don’t think I should be wearing it. Clothing can look amazing or horrible on any size, it’s all about how you carry yourself

LargeInCharge.com: What do you wish to see change with the fashion industry?

Give me SEXY! Give me TRENDY!  I’m constantly altering my clothing to make it what I want it to be.

LargeInCharge.com: Tell us some of the places you buy your clothing from.  Do you have any beauty tips?

Caquice (lingerie made by Lane Bryant) it’s my go to under garment store, Debs, off the wall online retailers. If it’s a bigger size and its pretty then I buy it. My biggest beauty tips are, find a fantastic bra it does wonders for any size and try some different types of clothing that you normally wouldn’t think of wearing. Don’t let yourself get in a rut.

LargeInCharge.com:  How do you prepare for a Photo shoot?  What should aspiring models be prepared for?

It all about mind set, if your uncomfortable the camera is going to pick up on it. Be Confident!

LargeInCharge.com: Look at Size acceptance five years ago... look at size acceptance now.  What changes do you see?

I see a lot of strides, I didn’t mention that clothing choices are lacking for larger sizes but it is better than it was 5 years ago. It seems to be getting a lot more main stream (although not enough yet) I’m seeing a lot more groups and gatherings that are size friend. Men and women seem to be getting somewhat more comfortable with being there bigger self’s.

LargeInCharge.com: Tell us about your goals as far as modeling and other interests.

I want to reach out and inspire whoever I can get my hands on. My mother died thinking she wasn’t as beautiful as others simply because she thought she didn’t look as good. She had so many insecurities. I never think that anyone should feel this way. We are all beautiful in one way or another and I am no different

LargeInCharge.com:  What have you accomplished as a Plus Sized Model?

I haven’t done anything professional. But people always comment positively, whether it’s through groups on fb or other means. I always get emails or messages about them. I must be doing something right?

LargeInCharge.com:  Have you entered or won any Contests, Pageants or Awards?  What was the experience like?

I did pageants as a child and won some of those. I’m told on a constant basis that I am beautiful sexy and confident.

LargeInCharge.com: Can you tell us about an inspirational moment in your life that made you feel good about your size.

There was a lady when I working for a photography place, she was my elementary teacher. I had seen her back in those days, she had children, was in her 40's, felt horrible about the way she looked, we talked about how she was killing herself to try to lose weight. I stopped her and asked why? You’re living, you’re breathing, you have beautiful children. No you may not be your previous size 8, but your here and you’re just fine the way you are. Think about all the hours your wasting into torturing yourself about something that obviously doesn’t want to change. I told her the line that I tell many, Be proud the only thing you are is bigger you’re not a liar, thief, bad person, you have a degree, you mentor children every day, have a husband and wonderful kids to go home to. Now that’s a good life. By the end of the conversation she thanked me and said I wish I had half the wisdom at my age that you do at your age. I was beaming for the rest of the day :)

LargeInCharge.com: Is there a person in your life that makes you keep going?

By far my kids and the memory of my parents, I was raised well. My mother gave me my loving side and my father gave me my don’t take less than you deserve attitude.

LargeInCharge.com: What advice would you give to other people of size who want to model?

 

Go for it! If somebody says no, move on to the next place till you find the right fit for you.

LargeInCharge.com: Which plus size figure do you most admire?

Monique Wealth she’s a comedian/actress, she has never hid who or what she is, whether it’s her size or personality

LargeInCharge.com: Describe yourself with one word.

Confident

 

 


 

Thanks for reading about our

Cover Model of the Month

 

 

     Raqui the Owner and Founder of LargeInCharge.com, Raqui's  "Tell it like it is" style of writing has brought thousands to her blogs and millions to LargeInCharge.com.  There is so much behind the woman who has brought this magazine into existence.  Being Internationally known as a wrestler/squasher lead the way to modeling for companies and being featured in magazines and documentaries from all over the world.  She has made a career out of her size and personality. Born and Raised in the Bronx NYC. This city girl is taking the world by storm.

 

     For almost a decade Raqui officially moved into Size Acceptance and Empowerment.  With the creation of LargeInCharge she took what she said to individuals to a higher level and made it public to the internet world. She is a woman who doesn't let things get to her.  Knock her down for the moment but she will rise up stronger and better.  Being a speaker on behalf of many subjects and counseling Plus Sized people online her grace and style has made people love her.  Raqui continues to set an example of a powerful woman who will bend the world to fit her, her way.

 

     Raqui's appearances include, Uk Television, German TV, Japan, Europe, Sweden and the Spanish circuit.  Her many magazines appearances have been world wide.  She has hit American Television in 2006 with Good Morning American and since has appeared on The Cristina Show,  The Maury Show and The Tyra Banks Show.

To view her Online portfolio visit www.Raqui.com

Raqui's Blog titled Raqui-ism "Soulfully Speaking! - http://raqui-ism.blogspot.com/

go to www.Raqui.com Portfolio Section

Raqui-ism - Worthy Charities 2013

Written By: Raqui

 

 

 

 

Charity may start at home but it doesn’t end at home, or maybe it does.  Sometimes Charity is to help other Souls have a home.  All of the Charities for this year have been toward helping our fellow man.  This month let’s focus on Man’s best friend, Hope for Paws is a Los Angles based rescue that hits the streets and brings fur babies home. 

 

Through networking with other organizations and opening the doors to their own home Audrey and Eldad Hagar have been giving pups from the street a chance to know what it is like to have the love of a human, to not be abused, but safe and warm in a comfy bed.  A pet can bring so much to the life of its owner, and we can give them a wonderful home that wants to be shared.

 

Let’s learn more about Hope for Paws and the amazing couple who are making a difference for animals of LA.

 

CHARITY OF THE MONTH: HopeforPaws.org

VIDEO - Watch as Poor Terrified Holly is rescued

 

Watch more of Hope for Paws Rescue Videos here - http://www.youtube.com/user/eldad75      

About Us

Audrey and Eldad Hagar have been fostering hundreds of animals in their home for the past eight years.  They created Hope for Paws to help animals in this country who suffer and die every year because of negligence and abuse.  They also created a huge network of rescuers from all over the world on their Facebook pages.

Our fostered animals are a part of our family and are treated as such.  Too often, people undervalue their furry family members and abandon them in their backyards, on the streets or at the shelters.  These animals die from starvation, abuse and euthanization because of the overcrowding at the shelters.

Pets are not items that can be thrown away or exchanged for younger models. Animals are sentient beings who feel pain, love, joy, mourning, and loss.  These valuable creatures help us whether it is assisting the blind or finding people under the rubble from an earthquake.  They help us in times of war and during human catastrophes.

We want to help both humans and animals alike live harmonious and fulfilling lives together.

How to Donate 

 

Every Little big helps

You can make a Recurring Donation Here - http://www.hopeforpaws.org/donationrecurring

or make a One Time Donation Here - https://hopeforpaws.nationbuilder.com/onetimedonation

 


 

LargeInCharge Radio - Weekly Radio show discussing Plus Sized Issues.  Friday's 9-11 pm EST - Call in & Chat in our Chat Room.

 

Thank you for Reading Raqui-ism

Please send thoughts and comments to

articles@largeincharge.com

 
 

   

Angie BEE grew-up a standard-sized young woman, educated in communications, promotions and planning.  She became a wife, mother and ministry support member while building businesses and her faith.

Through stress, age and a poor diet and while suffering from major depression and attempted suicide, Angie BEE's weight climbed from 180 pounds to 360 pounds.  She was diagnosed with high blood pressure, diabetes, obstructive sleep apnea, an overactive bladder and poor leg circulation.  At the age of 40 an anxiety attack and the decline in her mental health forced her to stop work and look at improving her declining health.  It was during this time that Angie BEE became inspired by her younger sister Sonya Bennett during her process towards Gastric Bypass Surgery.  Sonya launched this column and will return occasionally to contribute to it, but now that she is three years-post surgery... her life is focused on something new!

Now, celebrating her first year of a new life since having the procedure herself, Angie BEE is healthier than she has been in over a decade.  Losing the first 100 pounds was just the bonus!  She is now diabetes-free.  She has normal blood pressure.  The circulation in her legs is normal.  She sleeps without a c-pap machine and more!  The joy that she feels is documented each day in her syndicated radio show, a brand new weekly  TV show documentary and each month in this article.  The Big GB stands for The BIG Gastric Bypass and it also stands for "Getting (my life) Back".  This article reflects how Angie BEE's life has improved... by the grace of God and as the result of having Gastric Bypass surgery on Feb 28, 2011.  This is now her life!

 

I LOOK GOOD, I REALLY DO!

with Angie Bee

About a year ago, an old friend from college sent me a picture that was taken back in 1984.  It was a picture of me dressed up like a Playboy Bunny on the campus of Wilberforce University.  The members of Alpha Phi Alpha Xi Chapter Fraternity had a fundraiser ball and we Alpha Sweethearts dressed up as bunnies for entertainment purposes.  I am the bunny on the right.  As I reflected on the picture with the memory that it brought to me, I smiled to myself; I looked good!  I really did!

 

On Easter Sunday, my then-fiancé and I drove to visit my daughter who is away at school.  We all went out to dinner and afterwards took pictures together.  It was still chilly outside in Jacksonville Florida on Easter Sunday, so I wore my long-sleeved dress.  My daughter took this picture of my Sweetie and I, and when I reflected upon this picture I smiled at myself again: Not only is my Sweetie a handsome "beast" of a man (lol) but I looked good again.  I really and truly did!

 

Sometimes when we carry extra weight on us, we tend to shy away from the camera during a special event.  Sometimes we just don't even look at ourselves in the mirror.  I remember a woman once telling me that she doesn't even want to look at herself in the mirror while naked!  This is a shame.  We need to love ourselves no matter what curves we carry, no matter what we THINK we may look like.  We need to love ourselves!

 

June was a busy month for me and my then-fiancé.  As we tried to plan a wedding, we had events to tend to.  I did book signings, my fiancé performed at concerts, we attended his family reunion, 70's party and we worked the Daytona Beach Juneteenth Celebration.  At the family reunion, we dressed up in costumes and at the Juneteenth Celebration I took a picture with a local politician (I cropped him out the picture... no sense in giving him free publicity in this reputable publication!).  As I reflected back to review each of these pictures, I see my curves, I see my smile and I see how great I looked.  I really did!

 

In February 2011, I received gastric bypass surgery.  I have lost almost 200 pounds.  Yes, during the past month or so I do see that I have gained a couple of pounds but I ain't worried; my Sweetie and I finally stopped traveling and working ministry engagements and we married on August 9th.  The pounds I gained have come from enjoying dessert and "bed rest" with my husband :)

I will get away from the sweet treats sometime soon!  Yes, I had some health issues in June and July and even thought I would have to undergo surgery but God saw fit for me to enjoy my summer and not have to undergo a procedure.  Now, I am looking forward to planning cosmetic surgery to remove possibly 30 pounds of skin that hangs around my mid-section.  My belly and sides have to carry this skin, but my back pain is where I feel the most burden.  I have an estimate from the plastic surgeon and now I am working on securing the funding that I need to pay for the 50% that my health insurance won't cover.  I am not having this skin removed in order to increase my good looks; I already look good, remember?  I am removing this skin so I can remove the back pain, remove my need for a girdle to help decrease the back pain and to remove the flapping noises from sagging skin.  This has everything to do with how I feel and the pain that I am in. 

 

Last month I participated in a book signing at the historic Wells Built African American Museum in Orlando Florida.  At the end of the event, my husband snapped a picture of me next to the sign.  He had been telling me all day that I look lovely and his smile remained on his face while I spoke before the audience.  Once I took a look at the picture that he took of me, I could really see what he was smiling about.  I didn't see my fully midsection of belly from that excess skin.  I didn't see my full un-sleeved arms.  I didn't see the sagging skin left over from an old double chin.  All I saw was a beautiful, happy, healthy woman that serves the Lord with gladness.  I saw a woman with a wonderful man by her side and I saw a great smile.  I looked pretty good that day.  I really did!

 

Much love and huggz!

 

 

Angie BEE

www.daqueenbee.com

Author, Magazine Publisher, Producer, Promoter &

The Host of The Hottest Home Hotspot WORLDWIDE

Syndicated Holy Hip Hop Radio Show

Last Week I wanted to Die!

NOW AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE!


 

   
 

Thanks for reading

The Big GB - Getting My Life back after Gastric Bypass

with Angie Bee


     Founded in 1969, NAAFA is a non-profit civil rights organization dedicated to improving the quality of life for fat people. NAAFA works to eliminate discrimination based on body size and provide fat people with the tools for self-empowerment through public education, advocacy, and member support.

 

     This Column is dedicated to the tremendous work NAAFA has been doing for over four decades.  LargeInCharge wishes to support NAAFA in spreading the word of its work, and give the public more information into issues we as plus sized people should be aware of.  The fight for equality for people of all sizes is one we support.

    

     This Column will include News Releases and Calls to Action from NAAFA Directors.

 

This Column has been Approved by NAAFA.org

 

The Disability and Size Diversity Community - Let's Work Together!

from: NAAFA.org

 Lisa M. Tealer, NAAFA Board Member

 

October is National Disability Employment Awareness (NDEAM) Month.  According to the Office of Disability Employment Policy’s (ODEP) website, the origins of this celebration and awareness go back to 1945, when Congress passed a law declaring the first week in October as the National Employ the Physically Handicapped week. In the early 1960s, the word ‘physically’ was removed to be more inclusive of all types of disabilities. Then in 1988, Congress expanded the week to the whole month and changed the name to National Disability Employment Awareness Month.

 

Speaking of ODEP, two years ago this month, I had the opportunity to hear the Assistant Secretary of Labor for ODEP, Kathleen Martinez, give a keynote address that was both entertaining and profound. She stated that when President Obama appointed her, he got to check “four Affirmative Action boxes”:

 

·         She is a woman

·         She is a Latina

·         She is a Lesbian

·         She is visually impaired

 

The audience roared with laughter.

 

Then Martinez made a statement that was a paradigm shift in my perspective.  She stated that People with Disabilities in the workplace need “productivity tool, not accommodations”. That statement was a profound way to describe what people with disabilities, or anyone for that fact, need: a productivity tool. That’s what companies and businesses, large or small, want their employees to be; productive. Her statement was timely, as I had just formed a cross-functional People with Disabilities Taskforce, charged with increasing our efforts to be more inclusive of people with disabilities.

 

The stigma and discrimination that people with disabilities, and those of us in the size diversity community, face is a common issue. These issues could serve as a platform for our communities to work together.  In fact, there is a platform for collaboration as some individuals may belong to both communities. Two of my heroes who work within both communities happen to be NAAFA Advisory Board Members; Brandon Macsata and Sondra Solovay. During the month of October, and beyond, think about how you can find a common ground to partner and work with others from various communities. When one of us is successful, we’re all successful, so let’s work together!

 

 

Founded in 1969, NAAFA is a non-profit human rights organization dedicated to improving the quality of life for fat people. NAAFA works to eliminate discrimination based on body size and provide fat people with the tools for self-empowerment through public education, advocacy, and member support.

 

 
 
 

 

Thanks for reading

From the Desk of NAAFA

Link

www.NAAFA.org

    

Some of you make know me as web girl/Lulu from Fashion Find. Well… I’ve move on to another one of my favorite’s pastime which is cooking. To get you all up to date on what’s going on. I’m currently pursuing a graduate degree at Ashford University I have a B.A. degree in Organizational Communication from Southeastern Louisiana University.

 

I am most passionate about cooking. I believe with cooking you can always grow… I fried my first egg when I was 2 and baked my first cake at 5. Cooking is an easy and dynamic experience if you have a passion for a good tasting meal.

 

Motto: Cook with your heart not with your head.

 

If you have a favorite dish you would like to share please forward with recipe and photo to

Web_girl1999@yahoo.com

 

 

 
Happiness Kitchen
with Lucia Roth
 

Thanksgiving is Thursday November 28th and if you’re the cook for the holiday feast, begin you’re day in a leisurely way by treating yourself to a simple but delicious breakfast. Our family favorite scramble eggs with mushrooms and spinach, which are easy to prepare.

 


A Simple Thanksgiving Breakfast

 

To get a head start, you can set up all your ingredients the night before. The next morning, add the other ingredients, throw everything into a frying pan. While cooking, brew coffee and tea. Then relax before the craziness begins.

Dive into this simple egg dish with my family favorite scramble, a sprightly blend of onions, peppers, tomatoes and spices.

 

Ingredients:

2 Tbs. olive oil

8 oz. white button mushrooms, trimmed and sliced

Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper, to taste

2 cups firmly packed baby spinach leaves

8 eggs, beaten

1/2 cup American farmer’s scramble, plus more for serving

 

Directions:

In a large nonstick fry pan over medium-high heat, warm the olive oil. Add the mushrooms and season with salt and pepper. Cook stirring occasionally until well browned, 8 to 10 minutes. Add the spinach and cook, stirring occasionally, until the spinach is wilted, about 2 minutes.

Reduce the heat to medium, add the eggs and season with salt and pepper. Dollop the 1/2 cup farmer’s scramble on top, Cook using a rubber spatula to scrape the bottom and sides of the pan, until the eggs have formed small curds and are almost firm, 1 to 2 minutes. Serve immediately with extra farmer’s scramble on the side.

 

Serves 4.

 

Bon Appetite!

 

 
   

     Ms Suga is a plus size woman hailing from Sunny South Florida. She is a 24 year old recent recipient of a Bachelor in Arts degree in Communication Studies. Being plus size for the majority of her life she has overcome many obstacles to finally come to the point where she is fully content with herself and her life. This self love has also allowed Ms Suga the privilege of sharing her love with those around her. She is very passionate about life and loves to help others.

     Ms Suga likes to see herself as the one everyone can go to for positive, inspirational and truthful words of advice and/or support. She is the Beautiful Inspirational Girl that is blessed, intellectual, trustworthy, caring and hardworking.

     Ms Suga has had a passion for writing since she was a little girl when she used to think of short stories about what her life would be like as she got older. This is Ms Suga’s first opportunity for her thoughts to be public for the world to see. Excited about this column Ms Suga is also very optimistic of her future in writing and promoting self love and acceptance in the plus size community.

 

I am Thankful for...

with Ms Suga

 


 

I am thankful for....

Ok so it's November & it's almost Thanksgiving! This year is my 1st year not spending Thanksgiving with my family.  I'm not liking this at all, but hey such is life, a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do (I guess....). So even though I won't be with my old people or my godmother or cousins or my nephew I am still thankful for my family.

Every month I try to inspire you all to try something new or gain a new perspective on life. I try to open myself up to you all as well to see that you are not alone in this world. But there's another side to change and it's appreciation.  I know life is a never ending cycle of change but in the midst of all that change we really should be appreciate life and the change it holds. When I say appreciate I mean APPRECIATE! Be thankful for who you are and what you have. My daddy always says be grateful for what you have because there's always someone out there that's doing worse than you.

Every day we drive around in our cars talking on our cellphones complaining about that "bullsh*t job" the crazy a** bill collectors and we moan and groan our lives away completely oblivious to the beggar on the corner asking for change. You see we live in a world that is all about instant selfishness... Instant money, instant results, instant gratification, but when is the last time you were grateful for that smart phone which becomes more and more expensive each month. Or when is the last time you were truly thankful for that bullsh*t job that pays you so you can pay that high bill?

November is the month of giving thanks but we shouldn't wait until the year is almost over to show gratitude. Every day I get up and thank God for his many blessings over my life and I show my gratitude by paying it forward and helping others.

So this month, I want to encourage you all to try something even more challenging. Try not complaining and actually appreciate what you have. Don't dwell in the past, don't sit there moping about what you do and don't have. Get over yourself!! Because at the end of it all it's just you and you don't want to die with a lifetime of regrets.  Be thankful for what's there and ignore everything else.

Until next time loves!

 

Ms. Suga

 

 

 


 

Kathy is originally from a small town in Michigan but has lived in San Diego County since she's been 18 years old.  Kathy graduated from San Diego State University with a Bachelors in Finance in 1999.   She has a real estate broker’s license and works as a mortgage banker.  

 

Kathy also owns BBW Club Catalina in San Diego which has monthly night club parties and other fun events on a frequent basis.  Kathy has been an avid supporter of NAAFA, Vegas BBW Bash and San Diego BBW Bash and believes in size acceptance and health at every size.  

 

Kathy is a firm believer that people need to have a full life by going to the movies, dinner, bowling, dancing and anything that will make them a happier person and not wait till they are at the perfect size to start living their life to the fullest. 

 

Kathy is in her mid-40's and her children are grown and living productively on their own.   In her spare time she likes trying new restaurants, dancing, modeling, bowling and spending time with family and friends.

 

 

Why did he change for Her and not for me?

 with Kathy Edmondson

 

There have been many relationships where women have stuck around in hopes that the man they are dating will change things about themselves that the woman didn't like.  

 

What kind of changes are we talking about?  

 

·         We want them to get a job and have a career.  

·         We want them to live independently from their mother or father.  

·         We would like them to have furniture that shows they are adults and not in high school.  

·         We would like them to dress like an adult and not sag their pants or look like they could possibly be homeless.  

·         We would like them to help out around the house with chores more often.  

·         He said he didn't believe in marriage and it was just a piece of paper which doesn't define true love.  

·         He said he wasn't ready to have children with you and you were ready.  

 

Soon we give up because we finally have figured out, they have no intention of changing who they are and grow up. So we break up with them, then that is the moment they decide to change!   I know this is frustrating because I have been there and done that too.   I have made the mistake in my early years to think that I had the capacity to change a man into a better man or the man that I would like him to be.  

 

Guess what?   This is like Mission Impossible when someone has no problem being the way he is and has no desire to change.   The next girl he dates somehow is the lucky girl and he changes all the things that you complained about for the past 5 or 6 years.   I have reflected on how many years I had wasted hoping the man I was dating would change and decided that I need to take some blame too, because I believed him when he promised me a future together.  You know what they say, actions speak louder than words, I should have thought more about that than the empty promises he kept giving me year after year.  

 

So why is it that a few months, after you break up with him, he is engaged to get married, and she's pregnant?  Yes… that stings more than you can possibly know that you invested all this time in a man, and he never gave you what you needed in a relationship. Now this person he barely knows is getting everything you have ever wanted with him.   He is now dressing nicely and has a good job with insurance benefits too.   The urge to choke this man is getting harder and harder each day when you hear from mutual friends that he has really come into himself.  

 

Your next train of thought is… why this woman and why didn't he want a life with you?   You can make yourself crazy trying to figure it out but why bother?   He isn't with you and he's with someone else now, so close the door on that chapter of your life.   I know that there are some instances where the man has changed because he didn't want to disappoint his next girlfriend and doom his next relationship.  Changes has to be made to avoid doing that.   Just remember that this really doesn't have anything to do with your relationship with him, because if he truly wanted to be with you, than he would have done the necessary things to make your relationship work.   A man who wanted to be with you would have moved heaven and earth after you broke up with him to make things work out.  

 

Again, I am going to tell you to close that chapter of your life and not keep the door open even a little so you can peek through and see how his life is going.   The next man you date shouldn't be a fixer upper because you have learned that there is no such thing as changing a man because that change has to come from within the man.  

 

Kathy Edmondson

 

 

 

 

 

Celebrating almost two decades as a Graphic Designer/Published Illustrator, Jean Nerestant Jr (Jness) got his start as a graphic artist in 1994, Still working as a graphic designer by day/ Jness devotes time to his hip hop Culture, comic book art and Plus size/BBW Art.

 

 

Confidence

with Jness


One thing I have learned in forty something odd years of living is that life is richly and abundantly saturated with challenges that seem to be tailor made for the purpose of testing character and moral integrity. With that being said, I am sure that many of you might agree with that theory. Then if that is the true purpose of life’s mountains and valleys, we have to strive for that bitter sweet spot of righteous unwavering character. This is the very virtue that greatness is gleaned from. As complicated as an individual’s life can be, my careful review has lead me to believe that there are two ways to walk through life, with your head up or with your head down.

When you choose one of these methods of walking through life several things happen. The first thing that either posture can affect is how you feel about yourself. Walking with your head down makes your outlook one of defeat. For example a track runner would have a difficult time gaging a rapidly approaching hurdle with their head down.

When attempting to clear obstacles, it is better to keep your head up, because it makes a statement of confidence to every onlooker and challenger. Hence the second thing that is affected by your posture, the way you are perceived by others. Keep your head up. In reality every runner can’t win the race but, how it was run, and how you finish makes you a winner and a force to be reckoned with.

This month’s new illustration features a fashionable curvy beauty, and diva in the making. This piece is called CONFIDENCE. It makes reference to, how a person feels, how they want to be received, and most importantly who they are. Dress your best, be your best, show you’re very best, and don’t yield to every invitation that comes your way to distract you. You are far too valuable for that, Big, with much more to offer, beautiful in so many ways and ready for the world. You are poised for the challenge and confident of what the outcome will be.

 JNESS

LargeInCharge Hopes that you enjoyed this article. 

Our writer and artistic contributor JNess will be taking a vacation

so please enjoy his previous artwork and writing in

our other 2013 LargeInCharge Magazine Issues.

Check out Jness in our Back-Issues

 

 

 

 

Hello there all my fashion loving friends. My name is Amy Lucas and in this column I hope to bring you some new outfits that will make you feel great and be Large and In Charge. My whole life has not been devoted to fashion as my background is in teaching Spanish, Math, and Science. I also have a master’s degree in Central Office Administration.

 

With that said, I have been wearing plus sizes for as long as I can remember so I do know the struggles we all face to find cute clothes. I come from a smaller town in Michigan, which means I have an even harder time finding plus size clothing in my area since the choices are so limited; as well as, the sizes and styles each store carries. 

 

Out of necessity, I started looking online instead of just settling for the places here and have found that other women could use the help too. I run a fashion group on Facebook called BBW Fashion where I post something fabulous each day hoping to help all those to find what they want in their size.

 

In my career, I've helped plus size students and their parents to find fashion in their sizes that would help them with their self-esteem and make them feel good about themselves. I have also dabbled in fashion before this modeling for three different stores, winning a cover model spot in July of 2012 in Large in Charge magazine, and I was Ms. LBC 2008 for Linda's Big Connections in Chicago. I look forward to showing you what is available in plus size fashion and help you to look even more beautiful and chic.

 

 

 
Little Black Dresses - 20 Knock out looks
with Amy Lucas
One of the best investments you can have is a little black dress. You can wear them to almost anything from a date to a party. They can be dressed up or down using accessories and shoes. There are also many styles to choose from to fit your personality and style. Further, the holidays are coming up and darker colors are in right now so this is the perfect time to add one of these to your wardrobe.

 

 

Little Black Dresses  

 

Eternity Convertible Maxi Dress (Island Shades) in Black,

size 1-3x or 4-6x,

$89.90,

www.swakdesigns.com

 

Bonnie Maxi

(Sunset Shades) in Black,

size 1x (14/16) - 6x (34/36), $69.90,

www.swakdesigns.com

 

Goddess Gown in Onyx,

sizes small (12-14) – xl (24), $199.99,

www.woledesigns.com

Stop Staring!

Black Billion Dollar Baby Dress, sizes 14-26,

$130.50,

www.torrid.com

“Kendal”

Cap Sleeve Mesh Insert Dress

in Black,

sizes 1x (14/16) - 3x (22/24), $188,

www.monifc.com

Ambrosia Dress in Black,

sizes 18/20 – 30/32,

$175,

www.igigi.com

Polka Dot Peplum Dress,

sizes 12-26,

$68.50,

www.torrid.com

Ruffle Hem Strapless Sheath Dress,

sizes 0-36,

$69.95,

www.eshakti.com

Garnet Dress in Black,

sizes 12-30/32,

$118,

www.igigi.com

Veronica Plus Size Dress,

sizes 12-30/32,

$106.99,

www.igigi.com

Havana Dress,

sizes xs (0-2) - 6x (36),

$69.95,

www.eshakti.com

ASOS Curve Exclusive Skater Dress with Mesh & Leather Look,

sizes 14-24,

$97.89,

www.us.asos.com

Black Chain Embellished Dress with Plain Skirt,

sizes 14-24,

$76.50, www.yoursclothing.co.uk

Lovedrobe Black Sequin Embellished Pleat Detail Dress, UK sizes 14-32

(US Sizes 10-28),

£49 is

$79.20 in the US

(depends on the currency exchange rate on that day), www.lovedrobe.co.uk

Paris Maxi Dress

(Night Shades) in Black,

sizes 1x (14/16) – 6x (34/36), $69.90,

www.swakdesigns.com

Luna Lace Dress in Onyx,

sizes 0x (10/12) -5x (30/32), $158,

www.kiyonna.com

Black Beltway Dress

by Ruby Rox,

sizes 14-26,

$64.99,

www.onestopplus.com

eVogues Plus Size

Sequin Bodice Bubble Dress Black with Floral Detail,

sizes 1-3x,

 $49.99,

www.amazon.com

Mae Dress in Black,

sizes 1x (14/16) - 5x (30/32), $49.99,

www.swakdesigns.com

Manon Baptiste

Wrap-Effect Cotton Dress, UK sizes 12-34

(US Sizes 10-32),

GDP 150.90

$243.91 in the US

(depends on the currency exchange rate on that day), www.navabi.co.uk

   
   
 
 
 

Jay Hansen and Heidi Davis are size-acceptance advocates from Oklahoma and co-own Oklahoma's only social size-acceptance group, Oklahoma BBW, BHM, and their Admirers. Heidi was born in 1969 and has been a large woman her whole life, just as Jay has been an admirer of such plus-sized women all of his.

 

Heidi graduated High School in 1987, which is the same year Jay was born. The two met online in 2005 and quickly developed a friendship. In 2009, Jay graduated the University of Central Oklahoma with a Bachelor’s in English Education, and the following year he and Heidi started dating and quickly fell deeply in love.

 

Heidi is experienced, blunt, pragmatic, down-to-earth, and strong in every sense of the word, while Jay is intellectual, articulate, ideological, contemplative, and gentle. Heidi is eighteen years Jay's senior and nearly three times his weight, while Jay is 140 pounds soaking wet with a brick in his pocket. He's a king amongst nerds and all things geeky; she's a tattooed, rough-and-tumble, hard rocker to her core. Together, they are a beautiful personification of the old adage opposites attract.

 

"The Skinny on Big Love with Jay Hansen" was started in 2013 with Jay as the primary writer and Heidi as his muse and endless source of ideas and inspiration. Together, the two hope to provide people with a new frame of mind on love and relationships, promote open-mindedness and acceptance, ask intriguing questions, foster conversations, and prove to the world that titles such as weight and age, amongst countless others, should never stand in the way of one's pursuit of happiness.


 
Sympathy Pains
with Jay Hansen
 

Heidi and I have a very unique bond. That may sound cliché, but I'm speaking in all seriousness. Many people have heard of sympathy pains and joke around about them, but Heidi and I genuinely have them for one another. When Heidi is menstruating, for example, I often suffer from abdominal cramping, fatigue, and moodiness. Similarly, when I'm my normal klutzy self and hit my knee on a table or chair, Heidi grabs her knees in pain and shouts "I felt that!" When I first got the idea for this article, I was at work one morning feeling unusually bloated and swollen in my abdomen. I texted Heidi and asked "when do you start ovulating?" She checked her personal calendar, and sure enough she had just started the night before. Because of this unusual, somewhat unexplainable phenomenon, I have effectively developed my own menstruation and ovulation cycles wherein I experience many of the traditional symptoms despite being a biological male. When Heidi is cramping, I'm cramping. When she's bloated, I'm bloated. When she's moody, I'm moody, and all on a regularly scheduled basis.

 

Now, I'd genuinely like to know, how many people were made uncomfortable by that previous paragraph? Specifically, how many men? And why? I'm curious to know because it would seem that the word "sympathy," and any concepts related to it, has become a dirty word to men and the world of masculinity. It has somehow become associated with weakness and femininity, despite the paradoxical notion of something being both feminine and weak at the same time. This could easily explain why so much of our society is still so cruel and heartless towards one another; somehow, sympathy has become viewed as a bad thing, especially to men, consciously or not.

 

As I frequently write, relationships in which one partner has many specialized needs such as the physical and medical ones of a very plus-sized person require a great deal of sympathy. Heidi has a great deal of mobility issues, dietary needs, and limitations on the amount of work she can do around the house. That is why I am always the one to do the grocery shopping; that way Heidi doesn't have to stress her legs. It's also why I'm the one primarily responsible for the regular household cleaning such as the scrubbing and vacuuming while Heidi manages the less physically intense jobs such as keeping the finances in order and cooking, among other things. We each do what we are capable of doing, and help each other in the areas where the other is lacking. This is the basics of sympathy.

 

Our pre-conceptions of sympathy in society are inherently flawed. Emotions such as compassion and love were for so long connected to femininity, which in turn was oppressed and subjugated by males and masculine culture. Along these same lines, it is still unacceptable for a male to act feminine in any way, but the same is not true of women who act masculine. This is because of the severely outdated idea that it’s somehow degrading or lessens one’s status as a male to act feminine, and sympathy is still unnecessarily considered feminine to most of society.

 

It’s a lack of sympathy that leads to misunderstandings and resentment in relationships. If you can’t sympathize with your partner, you can’t anticipate their needs, making you seem distant. If you’re unable to care about your partner, (which is also implicit in being sympathetic) then this will build resentment and ultimately lead to the collapse of the relationship. While this is true for any relationship, if you seek to have a long, meaningful, and happy relationship with a plus-sized woman as I am indescribably lucky enough to have with Heidi, you must be emotionally mature enough to step away from these archaic notions of sympathy being somehow bad or degrading.

 

How long has she been on her feet? It may be time to suggest taking a sit-down break. Does she frequently have knee or back pain? Work a regular massage into your nightly schedule. How has her blood sugar been? Maybe you should skip dessert that night. Is she feeling insecure about her body? Give her a hug and remind her how beautiful she is. Taking note of these things before they become issues for your partner and taking action to prevent them is what sympathy is all about. It requires at least imagining what it’s like to walk a mile in your partner’s shoes and experiencing what life is like for a plus-sized woman, regardless of how others may judge you for it.

 

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm menstruating and have a serious chocolate craving. I'm told it's the best cure for period cramps. I'm off to cuddle with my equally miserable Heidi, watch a cute movie, and devour an entire box of Oreo cookies.

 

 

 

 

I was born in San Diego, California on August 30, 1972.br>
Grew up in San Jose, San Francisco, and San Diego California. I Graduated from San Diego State University in 1996 with a Bachelors Degree in Journalism (Radio-TV News) and a Bachelors Degree in Political Science.

I interned with U.S. Senator Dianne Feinstein from 1995-1996.

I interned with CBS News during the 1996 Republican National Convention.

Currently I'm a Licensed Sales Representative with Pacific Shores Real Estate, Inc. in Solana Beach, California

I'm Co-Owner of Club Catalina BBW Night Club in San Diego, CA.

And a newlywed, married to Kathy Edmondson as of December 31, 2012.

I am the father of one daughter - Safiyah Edmondson (8) and stepfather to two young men, Alexander Hernandez (22) and John Rhakman Macklin (21).

I enjoy bowling, basketball, tennis, football. I play 12 musical instruments. I also design a web page for a real estate company.
 

Health Scare

with David Edmondson

    

This past month has been a real wake up call for me personally. Here I was getting a call from my sister, informing me that our mother was admitted to the hospital.  Years earlier, my mom had her thyroids removed and things were looking up. She was relegated as to what she could and could not have in her diet and like most when we struggle with our weight, she strayed off the path. The punishment was 2 week stay in the hospital followed by another 2 week stint in a rehabilitation facility. Seeing her in the hospital during that period was extremely hard on me, as I was always used to seeing her, the picture of perfect health. If Kathy, my wife had not been there to hold my hand, I think I would have fallen to pieces.

Then, not more than a week after getting Mom from the rehabilitation center, I get another call from my stepmother in Arizona, telling me that my father was admitted into the hospital. My father on the other hand had long abused his body. The years of smoking cigarettes, up to 3 cartons a week at one point and drinking incisively had caught up to him at age 68. Thus, he was diagnosed with Congestive Heart failure. When he was asked by doctor’s exactly how much alcohol he drank per week, he could not give them an honest answer at first. Then he told them, about 3-4 glasses of brandy a day, which in translation really meant 3-4 bottles per week.  His heart rate was elevated, so much so that doctors could not even conduct a stress test. After a few days he was finally sent home and has improved dramatically.

 It got me to thinking about my own health. I realize being a bigger size; I have to pay more attention to the way I do things. I may not subscribe to the supposed energetic, fitness crazed lifestyle that is being advertised and promoted on television, but there are things we can do to ensure that we live longer. The first thing is to get medical checkups yearly. For many that do not have health insurance, this presents a challenge, because it does cost money to do this, but the alternative, is spending time at a hospital for a serious ailment. The second thing we can do is not intake so much of the foods that we know are bad for us. I’m not saying put down the fried chicken, I’m saying we do not need to eat the entire chicken in one setting.  Third, there are things we can do physically to make sure our heart rates are sufficient. This means, you don’t have to run a marathon, 10k or 5k race every day, but simply walking further than your local bodega, park or shopping mall for a 30 minute period can do wonders.

We have too much information in our midst to simply ignore all of it. As the saying goes, You Only Live Once, so you might as well take care of the life that you were given and try to preserve it for as long as you personally can.

 

 

 
 
 

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