It was ten years ago when I started LargeInCharge.com. I had one
associate who wanted to try it out with me. It was new, an
adventure, it was something that I believed in. Even when I was
left to stand alone I couldn’t falter from my dedication. I did
believe in what LargeInCharge was about, Consistent, interesting, a free
publication, a more realistic view of Plus Sized people and their lives.
A showcase of people who happen to be plus sized and happen to be making
moves in positive directions. People who believe weight doesn’t
stop life or you from accomplishing what you want for your life.
Not a magazine for just women and women’s issues, not a magazine just
for men and their issues. It was for people, all plus sized
people, all shapes, sizes, colors, creeds, orientations and locations.
People who maybe want to gain, want to lose, or those who don’t know
what they want, and those who are perfectly fine the way they are.
People who couldn’t find support elsewhere, who were bullied by other
people maybe plus sized maybe not. People who just wanted someone
to understand and say, you are important and no matter what you will
always be important.
LargeInCharge grew to support
plus sized supporters, people who may prefer larger sized people, those
who saw us all as equal whether we were large or small, Companies
(small or big) Individuals (small or big) who offered resources and more
for Plus Sized people. LargeInCharge grew even more to support and
close the gap of division between the sizes, small sized, regular sized,
plus sized and super-sized. Can we not be sizes, can we be people,
can we challenge you to just see people. At our core we all are
the same we all have a struggle and we all are shamed through life.
Can we learn to appreciate our differences and value the person instead
of the sizes, looks, personal actions and beliefs?
I can’t tell
you how many times I have thought about stopping what I do. A
labor of love, it wasn’t easy and it never was. Always a struggle,
but always rewarding, I knew I was making a difference, I knew
that people believed in what LargeInCharge was about. A neutral
ground where there is no affiliations, no sides taken, no war between
beliefs systems. Only support for those who need it so they can
grow in whatever positive direction they choose to.
I saw that others believed to, with every volunteer, sponsor, writer,
and supporter. I knew that the work being done was changing lives and
views. They are a big part in making LargeInCharge what it is, a
safe place and I am proud of that. Proud, and thankful, for every
person who believes in LargeInCharge, who believes in acceptance and
empowering people. Who believes we all should fight for the lives
we want to live. To fight for our personal decisions and the right
to be equally considered a human and respected as a human. An individual
who has its own desires and needs and can control the roads they travel.
Ten Years, I wasn’t always sure we would make it to ten years.
Now all I can do is be amazed, and happy. We made it and we are
not through yet!
Thank you all for the Ten years of love and
Have your own Column in LargeInCharge Magazine APPLY NOW!
Looking for new Writers
About Our Writers
LargeInCharge is looking for Volunteer Writers for our
Online Magazine. We are looking for Males and Females who
wants to write about issues that concern large people. We
need people who will be dedicated to writing columns/interview once a month in a timely manner. You do
not need to be a professional writer, Good writing, typing skills, the ability to spell check, understand
grammar and have your article sent in on time is what we are
We want to bring the voice of the people to the people.
Give them something they can related to and enjoy on a
LargeInCharge is a non-profit Online magazine, which is why
we are asking for Volunteer's. This is a great
opportunity to brush up on your writing skills, expand your
writing experience/ portfolio, or to learn different
This is not a responsibility to be taken lightly. You
must be able to hand in one article on time monthly for a
period of 12 months. You will be asked to
give in three stand by articles for you column for emergency
purposes. If you wish to continue
after 12 months then you may stay if your track record is
We are looking
for writers for the following Positions.
NOTE we are open to Ideas if you
have a particular column you would like to write.
A Big Man's
Gear - Fashion for Big Men!
Make - up,
Medicine and Body - External to internal make your body
feel and look great!
All Natural - Natural Remedies that help the body be
balanced. Catering to Plus Sized People
Big Excerise - Tips on Excerise routines for those with
limited and non limited abilities.
Dating for Large Ladies /Large Men
- Inspirational stories, interviews and articles on
loving yourself as is.
Plus Sized Entertainment - Interesting Plus Sized
Entertainers on TV, in theater and on stage.
Would you like
to be a writer? Apply following the directions below.
Send in the information below along with a clear photograph of
yourself and one complete article at least 500 words. Please
make sure your article is matching the position your applying for.
If you are a versatile writer and applying for more than one
position send in one article for each position. If you have an idea
for your column which doesn't fit the above categories please give
details about your idea for the column along with your sample.
Any submissions maybe be used in the magazine as a guest article or
other wise if you do not receive a position. If you are picked
for a position it will be used as a back up for your column in case
I want to Apply for a
My Name is:
My email address is:
My Phone Number is:
My location/address is:
My Facbook Page is:
The position I am
applying for is:
Here is my article:
I am allowing
LargeInCharge to use my image and article as they see fit. By
typing my name and date I understand that I agree to the above.
TYPE NAME/DATE HERE
Welcome Everyone to the
LargeInCharge Voting Poll for 2014,
Cover Model of the Year! We
invite you to check out our Cover
Models for the year 2013, vote for
your favortie model below and the
model with the most votes will be
our The LargeInCharge Cover Model of
the Year for 2014!
All of our
Models are special ladies and
winners in our eyes, this is the
time that the public can show there
appreciation and support for these
marvelous ladies. Lots
of love and good Luck
Want to see the Magazine Covers
up Close? Just click on
the Cover you want to see below and
it will open up in a New Window
where you can see the cover and the
entire issue the Model was showcased
in, including her interview.
Issue #108 - March 2013
Issue #109 - April 2013
Issue #110 - May 2013
Issue #111 - June 2013
Issue #112 - July 2013
Issue #113 - August 2013
Issue #114 - September 2013
Issue #115 - October 2013
Issue #116 - November 2013
Bretina Lynn Craft
VOTING POLL - Is not Active in our Back
What does our Cover Model of the Year Get?
The LargeInCharge Cover Model of the
Year will recieve a Trophy, along with gifts from our Cover
Model Sponsors of the year!
2014 LargeInCharge Cover Model
Sponsors: Soon to be updated!
Full color digitally vector
illustrated portrait of
LargeInCharge Cover Model of
the Year.Value 125.00
In the fantasy and science fiction adventure
FatLand (Volume I), the
weight oriented Pro-Health
Laws of the US have become
so oppressive that people
seeking freedom over their
bodies have established a
new country where life is
good and scales are
FatLand: The Early Days is both a sequel and
a prequel, revealing a
hidden history as three
archivists set out to
discover how FatLand began
and quickly become aware
that someone doesn't want
them to know.
Raqui the Owner and Founder of LargeInCharge.com, Raqui's "Tell it like it is" style of
writing has brought thousands to her blogs and millions to
LargeInCharge.com. There is so much behind the woman who has
brought this magazine into existence. Being Internationally
known as a wrestler/squasher lead the way to modeling for companies
and being featured in magazines and documentaries from all over the
world. She has made a career out of her size and personality.
Born and Raised in the Bronx NYC. This city girl is taking the world by
For almost a decade Raqui officially moved into Size Acceptance and Empowerment.
With the creation of LargeInCharge she took what she said to
individuals to a higher level and made it public to the internet
world. She is a woman who doesn't let things get to her. Knock her
down for the moment but she will rise up stronger and better.
Being a speaker on behalf of many subjects and counseling Plus Sized
people online her grace and style has made people love her. Raqui continues to set an example of a powerful woman who will bend
the world to fit her, her way.
Raqui's appearances include, Uk Television, German TV, Japan, Europe,
and the Spanish circuit. Her many magazines appearances have
been world wide. She has hit American Television in 2006 with
Good Morning American and since has appeared on The Cristina Show,
The Maury Show and The Tyra Banks Show.
In this world we live in, it can be hard at
times to see anything but the horror and insanity around us.
News Reports, Crime Shows, Newspapers, Online Sites and blogs are
way more interested in what is sensational and wrong with this
world, with out focusing on what is good in this world. So this year I dedicate my comlumn to all
that is inspirational, postive and helpful.
This month I want to share two videos that
just fill my heart up with a good feeling. We all need more
good feelings nowadays.
- Weekly Radio show discussing Plus Sized Issues. Friday's
pm EST - Call in & Chat in our Chat Room.
Angie BEE grew-up a standard-sized young woman, educated in
communications, promotions and planning.She became a wife, mother and ministry support member while
building businesses and her faith.
Through stress, age and a poor diet and while suffering from major
depression and attempted suicide, Angie BEE's weight climbed from
180 pounds to 360 pounds.She was diagnosed with high blood pressure, diabetes,
obstructive sleep apnea, an overactive bladder and poor leg
circulation.At the age
of 40 an anxiety attack and the decline in her mental health forced
her to stop work and look at improving her declining health.It was during this time that Angie BEE became inspired by her
younger sister Sonya Bennett during her process towards Gastric
launched this column and will return occasionally to contribute to
it, but now that she is three years-post surgery... her life is
focused on something new!
Now, celebrating her first year of a new life since having the
procedure herself, Angie BEE is healthier than she has been in over
a decade.Losing the
first 100 pounds was just the bonus!She is now diabetes-free.She has normal blood pressure.The circulation in her legs is normal.She sleeps without a c-pap machine and more!The joy that she feels is documented each day in her
syndicated radio show, a brand new weeklyTV show documentary and each month in this article.The Big GB stands for The BIG Gastric Bypass and it also
stands for "Getting (my life) Back".This article reflects how Angie BEE's life has improved... by
the grace of God and as the result of having Gastric Bypass surgery
on Feb 28, 2011.This
is now her life!
It's a New Year and a New Me!
The New Year always brings with it a new type of anticipation: some
people start new work-out regiments and others begin new
relationships. Over the years, I have met people that look for
new jobs and new church homes when January rolls around and still
other people strive to develop a new attitude when they change their
calendar. I guess that for me, I am doing some of all of the
above -- well maybe not, literally.
Yes, I have new anticipation for what 2014 will not bring to me and
my family. I anticipate that my tummy tuck healing will
continue as the swelling continues to reduce and my shape begins to
re-define. The November 15th procedure was a blessing for me,
in that it reduced the pulling and chronic pain in my lower back and
shoulders but the subsequent complications were frightening for all
that know me. The morning after surgery I required a second,
emergency surgery to clean up a hematoma (internal bleeding); I
needed three units of blood while on the table during surgery.
It took nearly an hour to resuscitation
me with my low blood pressure and during the four days I spent as an
inpatient, I needed three MORE units of blood and plasma!
God certainly had His hands on me during THAT trial, as I itched and
scratched from allergic reactions to pain meds and as my mouth
became infected with Thrush (a type of yeast infection of the mucus
membrane lining the mouth and tongue) from being closed for so long
(I thought only babies caught thrush? Next, I may need
treatment for the CROUP! LOL) I tell you it has been an adventure
during the holidays trying to negotiate three drainage tubes,
two compression garments, daily dressing changes with visiting
nurses and a brand new husband concerned about his wife (not to be
confused with a Partridge in a pear tree LOL!). January now brings
a new anticipation for me.
The plastic surgeon that is helping with my reconstruction told me
that he removed nearly eight pounds of "apron" skin that hung below
my navel and around my hips. I now understand why my back was
in constant pain! He also removed about two liters of fat from
my hips and sides. Imagine carrying around a two-liter of your
favorite soda pop just under your arm pits and riding on your hips.
It's a wonder that some of us can stand up straight at all. I
remember a time when I couldn't stand up straight: while weighing
387 pounds, my then pastor encouraged me to deliver my trial sermon
and I complied. When I arrived at the church with swollen feet
and ankles and with pain in my lower back he obliged me to sit in
the chair on the pulpit; I delivered my sermon while seated.
As the weight reduced and I became stronger, that skin hanging on my
midsection always pulled me down. Now it is gone and I can't
wait to see what I will be capable of throughout 2014!
Even my husband is excited about us starting a new "walking"
regiment. He has always been active (I sometimes need a nap
just to keep up with him!): he's a runner and does push-ups and
other cardio activities and now, I think I can keep up with him
while walking -- I think! Do I need a new work-out
wardrobe to begin? Hmmm... maybe I do!
I may not actively search for a new job or church home in 2014 like
some people do, but I will search for new networking opportunities
and new people to introduce to Christ. This New Year is a
milestone of sorts for me: on January 18th I will celebrate the
one-year anniversary of the Moms-n-Ministry Workshop by holding a
weekend retreat in Daytona Beach Shores. This will be an
exciting time as former hosts of this traveling workshop will attend
and bring their congregations to help us celebrate. Business
owners that have traveled as vendors will return and the Jericho
Broadcast Network will be there to shoot and broadcast the event
around the world! I pray that moms from the area will come and
enjoy the testimonies from the other moms while networking and
enlarging their territories with fun and information.
Also on January 18th we will debut the brand new Dads-On-Duty
workshop with my new hubby as the MC! It is so exciting to be
in ministry and to work with my husband; his contribution to what I
do is nothing short than miraculous and I can't wait to hear from
the Dads that are lined up to speak! Now I understand that my
new "job" in this ministry is to help heal families by bringing moms
and dads together on the same page: heal the broken parents and you
help heal the broken children, Thank you Lord for my new assignment.
This is actually my new church "home" until the Lord sees fit to
move me again and I am honored to be used in His way alone.
My incision is itching as I conclude this article. Itching is
a sign of healing but a "lady" doesn't scratch "down there" in
public (lol). Who made up that law? Guys scratch all the
time! They scratch and readjust and... oops I went off on a
tangent right there. Let me digress...
The new me is emerging as my incision heals and as my back
strengthens. I continue to be impressed by how healthy I am
since losing 200 pounds. I still have my curves, I still have
my mental faculties in place (at least I think I do!) I spend my
mornings drinking fiber and protein while chewing calcium and
vitamins; a far and welcome cry from popping medications for various
illnesses and waking up tired from sleep apnea symptoms. It
has been over two years since I had to awaken with a c-pap machine
face mask that breathed for me when I stopped breathing. It
has been more than two years since I had to wake up to prick my
finger to check my blood sugar and immediately inject myself with
insulin. It has been nearly three years since I had to elevate
my swollen feet and ankles and it has been nearly three years since
I had to race to find a toilet for my overactive bladder. Next
month I celebrate three years since having gastric bypass surgery
and I can't believe how healthy I am since that time! I continue to
get my life back after gastric bypass and I love sharing these
adventurous stories with each of you. If you plan to be
in the Daytona Beach, Florida area from January 17-19, come join us
for a fun weekend!
Find the details on Facebook
and come let me give you a "non-apron hug!” It's a New Year and
certainly a New Me and I can't wait to see what happens next!
The Big GB - Getting My
Life back after Gastric Bypass
with Angie Bee
Founded in 1969, NAAFA is a non-profit
civil rights organization dedicated to improving the quality of life
for fat people. NAAFA works to eliminate discrimination based on
body size and provide fat people with the tools for self-empowerment
through public education, advocacy, and member support.
This Column is dedicated to the tremendous
work NAAFA has been doing for over four decades. LargeInCharge
wishes to support NAAFA in spreading the word of its work, and give
the public more information into issues we as plus sized people
should be aware of. The fight for equality for people of all
sizes is one we support.
This Column will include News Releases and
Calls to Action from NAAFA Directors.
This Column has been Approved by NAAFA.org
Big Girl Rocks the Dance Floor!
Big Girl Rocks the Dance Floor!
NAAFA, a civil rights organization working to realize Equality at
Every Size, congratulates Amber Riley and Derek Hough for taking the
mirror ball trophy on Dancing
with the Stars.
Kudos to Amber for not only being the winner, but also for her words
at the conclusion of this season’s finale.
“I did this competition because I didn’t know if I could do it, and
anything that scares me, I want to do.So I want to let women of all sizes out there know, you can
do whatever you put your mind to.It doesn’t matter what size you are, what color you are, you
can do whatever, whatever, whatever you put your mind to,” Amber
Amber’s hard work, stamina and determination clearly illustrate that
people of large body size can be healthy and fit.More than 12 weeks of learning, practicing and performing has
been good for Amber’s over-all health but also clearly illustrates
that strenuous exercise does not necessarily result in tremendous
weight loss. Amber does
report feeling stronger and her energy is better.
NAAFA is proud to see role models of large body size like Amber
Riley in the spotlight on national television and in the world news.People of all sizes should heed Amber’s words.Whatever your dream, reach for the stars!
Three Teens on Amber's Win
Becca Christine 15 -
Congrats to Amber Riley for winning Dancing with the Stars!!
I have so much respect for her it's not even funny. This
girl showed that it doesn't matter what size or color you
are, you can accomplish anything. I know I’m overweight and
Amber helped remind me that I’m still beautiful no matter
Adriana 16 – I am so proud of Amber. She really showed that
we fat girls are winners too! I wrestle in high school and
people didn’t think I could do it but I do!
Alexis Marie 19 – Wow, I knew she could do it! I voted for
her every week. She is such an inspiration to all the big
girls in the world. Can’t wait to see what she does next.
Founded in 1969, NAAFA is a non-profit human rights organization
dedicated to improving the quality of life for fat people. NAAFA
works to eliminate discrimination based on body size and provide fat
people with the tools for self-empowerment through public education,
advocacy, and member support.
Some of you make know me as web girl/Lulu from Fashion Find. Well…
I’ve move on to another one of my favorite’s pastime which is
cooking. To get you all up to date on what’s going on. I’m currently
pursuing a graduate degree at Ashford University I have a B.A.
degree in Organizational Communication from Southeastern Louisiana
I am most passionate about cooking. I believe with cooking you can
always grow… I fried my first egg when I was 2 and baked my first
cake at 5. Cooking is an easy and dynamic experience if you have a
passion for a good tasting meal.
Motto: Cook with your heart not with your head.
If you have a favorite dish you would like to share please forward
with recipe and photo to
with Lucia Roth
Happy New Year!
Welcome to 2014 and another year to get it right. Whatever’s
right for you here is your opportunity. 2014 is year of change
and I’m ready to live it up with my new favorite recipe.Can’t wait!
Yea! So now what?
Let me introduce you to a New Years’ recipe that you can do
within a matter of minutes. In my perfect world I polished off
this entire dish in one sitting — keep going back for seconds,
and not gain a pound, “okay, okay, last time.” Yum…I think you’ll be addicted to this too, give it a try!
Parmesian Crusted Chicken
1/2 cup Hellmann's® or Best Foods® Real Mayonnaise
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
4 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves
(about 1-1/4 lbs.)
4 tsp. Italian seasoned dry bread crumbs
Preheat oven to 425°.
Combine Hellmann's® or Best Foods® Real
Mayonnaise with cheese in medium bowl. Arrange
chicken on baking sheet. Evenly top with
Mayonnaise mixture, and then sprinkle with bread
Bake until chicken is thoroughly cooked, about
(Note: a good side dish
would be Macaroni SaladThis healthy macaroni
salad forgoes the usual mayo for olive oil, lemon
juice, cherry tomatoes and cubes of smoked
cup olive oil
¼ cup fresh lemon juice
1 tsp salt, divided
½ tsp pepper, divided
2 cup elbow macaroni, cooked
3 scallions (white and green parts), chopped
1 cup halved cherry tomatoes
4 oz smoked mozzarella, cut into ¼-inch cubes
1 tsp dried or 1 Tbsp fresh oregano
For dressing, combine oil, lemon juice, and half the
salt and pepper in a small bowl. Whisk well; set
In a large serving bowl, combine remaining
ingredients; season with rest of salt and pepper.
Toss salad with dressing. Serve either cold or at
Lastly add cool refreshing low cal Mock Champagne to
top it all off.
4 cups carbonated water, chilled
4 cups ginger ale
3 cup sun sweetened white grape juice
Chill club soda, ginger ale and grape juice
In a large pitcher combine club soda, ginger ale
and grape juice. Serve immediately over ice
Celebrating almost two decades as a Graphic Designer/Published
Illustrator, Jean Nerestant Jr (Jness) got his start as a graphic
artist in 1994, Still working as a graphic designer by day/ Jness
devotes time to his hip hop Culture, comic book art and Plus
2013 is finally a wrap. It was certainly a year richly saturated
in change for me on so many levels. I got a new job, my daughter
suffered a series of seizures, and drastic behavioral changes
due to autism, my dad turned 90, I walked some steps to personal
growth, hit a few forks in the road, and the list goes on. The
bottom line is that many hurdles have been cleared and I made it
through to 2014. If you are reading this article, guess what?
You survived everything that was supposed to crush you in 2013,
welcome to the other side! This is something that is worthy of
celebration. When you master a challenge in your life don’t
forget to celebrate every accomplishment, this helps you to gain
a clear understanding of how far you have come. Don’t overlook
them, bookmark the moment and keep track, it helps build
confidence. Confidence is what’s needed in order to go the
One very important thing I learned this year is that we limit
ourselves unconsciously. Deep feelings of doubt will prevent us
from reaching our mark every time. This is a bigger obstacle
than a thousand nay-sayers. This year I had the uncomfortable
task of pushing myself out of my comfort zone. Did I forget to
say uncomfortable? The gem is that when we stay in the thick of
such a challenge, we find out how well equipped we are for the
task. Often times we walk away from situations that require us
to reach that Olympic level effort.
In this new year I challenge you all to go for that thing you
haven’t really given yourself a chance to accomplish. Push,
Push, and push yourself some more. You will be surprised how
well you can function beyond the walls of your comfort zone!
Just try it and you will see!
We secretly believe a thing is not possible and abstain from
venturing out from fear of failing. Over the past year, I have
had numerous conversations with friends and colleagues exploring
the ramifications surrounding selling yourself short. Great
points were made about MIND OVER MATTER, POSITIVE THINKING, and
SPEAKING THINGS THAT ARE NOT until THEY BECOME REALITY. The
results of these discussions were always the same, it seems that
everything that goes wrong has the primary purpose of
DISTRACTION and keeping you off your mark. There is a reason why
every race starts with the words GET ON YOUR MARK! The race is
not over, you have only just begun.
This year we saw the passing of South African civil rights
leader Nelson Mandella, who was no stranger to challenges. He
once said, “After climbing to the top of a great hill, one
learns there are many more hills to climb.” The upside to this
is that each hill strengthens us for the next challenges to
come. We mend our wounds, rest for a few moments and prepare
ourselves to get back to it with our eyes focused on victory.
Giving up is not an option. Happy New Year, GET SET and GO!
Hello there all my fashion loving friends. My name is Amy Lucas and
in this column I hope to bring you some new outfits that will make
you feel great and be Large and In Charge.
My whole life has not been devoted to fashion as my background is in
teaching Spanish, Math, and Science. I also have a master’s degree
in Central Office Administration.
With that said, I have been wearing
plus sizes for as long as I can remember so I do know the struggles we all
face to find cute clothes. I come from a smaller town in Michigan, which
means I have an even harder time finding plus size clothing in my area
since the choices are so limited; as well as, the sizes and styles each
Out of necessity, I started looking
online instead of just settling for the places here and have found that
other women could use the help too. I run a fashion group on Facebook
called BBW Fashion where I post something fabulous each day hoping to help
all those to find what they want in their size.
In my career, I've helped plus size
students and their parents to find fashion in their sizes that would help
them with their self-esteem and make them feel good about themselves. I
have also dabbled in fashion before this modeling for three different
stores, winning a cover model spot in July of 2012 in Large in Charge
magazine, and I was Ms. LBC 2008 for Linda's Big Connections in Chicago. I
look forward to showing you what is available in plus size fashion and
help you to look even more beautiful and chic.
20 Outfits for the Holiday
with Amy Lucas
The holidays are always a
fun time of year since there are lots of events like holiday dinners and
parties to dress up for. Luckily, there are lots of outfits right now with
jewel tones, metallic colors, fur, lace, sequins, and rhinestones that
will help you to dazzle the crowd no matter where you are. Of course,
everyone wants to look nice on those days so make sure you check these
outfits out before they are gone!
Jay Hansen and Heidi Davis are size-acceptance advocates from Oklahoma and
co-own Oklahoma's only social size-acceptance group,
Oklahoma BBW, BHM, and their
Admirers. Heidi was born in 1969 and has been a large woman her whole
life, just as Jay has been an admirer of such plus-sized women all of his.
Heidi graduated High School in 1987, which is the same year Jay was born.
The two met online in 2005 and quickly developed a friendship. In 2009,
Jay graduated the University of Central Oklahoma with a Bachelor’s in
English Education, and the following year he and Heidi started dating and
quickly fell deeply in love.
Heidi is experienced, blunt, pragmatic, down-to-earth, and strong in every
sense of the word, while Jay is intellectual, articulate, ideological,
contemplative, and gentle. Heidi is eighteen years Jay's senior and nearly
three times his weight, while Jay is 140 pounds soaking wet with a brick
in his pocket. He's a king amongst nerds and all things geeky; she's a
tattooed, rough-and-tumble, hard rocker to her core. Together, they are a
beautiful personification of the old adage
"The Skinny on Big Love with Jay Hansen" was started in 2013 with Jay as
the primary writer and Heidi as his muse and endless source of ideas and
inspiration. Together, the two hope to provide people with a new frame of
mind on love and relationships, promote open-mindedness and acceptance,
ask intriguing questions, foster conversations, and prove to the world
that titles such as weight and age, amongst countless others, should never
stand in the way of one's pursuit of happiness.
with Jay Hansen
After seeing her Facebook newsfeed fill up with people telling others they
look great simply because they lost weight, Heidi decided to take a stand
on the social media site and post about how the quality of one's
appearance is not dictated by weight. A long, vociferous, and revealing
conversation ensued, with posts and comments ranging from praising
agreement, micro-conversations about the relationship between weight and
health, and unexpected confessions and personal stories. After keeping up
with the thread and discussing it with Heidi, we came to our own
conclusions about the complex, powerful dichotomy of weight, health, and
First and foremost, as Heidi's initial post pointed out, weight holds
little to no hold on the quality of one's physical appearance. No matter
what our weight, we all look bad when we first wake up in the morning,
un-showered and unkempt, and we all look better when we've cleaned
ourselves up, put on a nice suit, and practice basic manners. While these
factors may still fall under physical appearance, they are not in the same
category as the shallower basis of judgment as weight, height, shape,
size, and other genetic, largely unchangeable parts of our bodies. Keeping
up appearances with proper hygiene and dress are exponentially more
important than any physical expression of our genetic makeup because
taking care of oneself is an indicator of self-respect, which reflects
more in terms of inner beauty than outer, and is a much better indicator
of one's character than their weight ever could be. Our physical
presentation should be measured by that which we have control over, not
the inner genetic makeup we were assigned at birth.
I can already hear the devil's advocates of the world crying out that not
all people who are overweight have a genetic predisposition to it. To
them, my response is simply, so what? You can't tell who has what genes or
what physical dispositions by looking at them, and more importantly it's
none of your business. If you make a judgment of someone based on their
weight, you are making a blind assumption about their genetics, and the
conclusion you reach thereupon would be no more reliable than your initial
assumption about one's DNA based on nothing more than the state of their
body. If there is any logic to judging other people, would it not make
more sense to assume the current state of a body, be it small or large,
skinny or fat, is its natural, genetically predisposed state?
Outside of appearance, though, there's the ever-constant criticism of
health and weight. These two measurements of a person are not one and the
same, as any who isn't ignorant or a prejudice jerk could tell you. The
current Surgeon General of the United States is Dr. Regina Benjamin, and
she herself is a plus-sized woman. One of her main goals as Surgeon
General has been to promote the message that Americans can be "healthy and
fit at any size, or any weight." She puts the focus on the quality of our
foods, daily diets, and regular physical activity instead of simple weight
loss. The primary numbers we should focus on for health are those of blood
sugar, pressure, and cholesterol among others, not pounds or kilos on a
scale. Focusing on just the weight can not only cause unhealthy obsession
that hinders the pursuit of a healthy life, but it can actually be
detrimental to health should that focus develop into yoyo-dieting or
I'm not saying you should never pay someone a compliment, only that you
should make sure you're complimenting something that is truly amiable and
not a misguided endeavor. Complementing someone's physical appearance
simply for losing weight perpetuates the stigma that fat is unattractive
and can even reinforce unhealthy behaviors and mindsets. If you wish to
compliment someone for their struggle to get healthier, then say as much.
Tell them they've done a great job lowering their sugar intake, getting
their cholesterol down, or just being more physically active. Are these
not efforts worth complimenting? More than that, the specificity of
complimenting these accomplishments are more honest and heartfelt than
some generic, hollow, disingenuous "you look nice." These tiny, seemingly
insignificant shifts in our day-to-day conversations and small talk will
steadily begin to change the national attitude towards weight, health, and
happiness, and foster a society that actually lives by the moral
never judge a book by its cover.
I was born in San Diego,
California on August 30, 1972.br> Grew up in
San Jose, San Francisco, and San Diego California.
I Graduated from San Diego State University in
1996 with a Bachelors Degree in Journalism
(Radio-TV News) and a Bachelors Degree in
I interned with U.S.
Senator Dianne Feinstein from 1995-1996.
interned with CBS News during the 1996 Republican
Currently I'm a
Licensed Sales Representative with Pacific Shores
Real Estate, Inc. in Solana Beach, California
I'm Co-Owner of Club Catalina BBW Night Club
in San Diego, CA.
And a newlywed, married
to Kathy Edmondson as of December 31, 2012.
I am the father of one daughter - Safiyah
Edmondson (8) and stepfather to two young men,
Alexander Hernandez (22) and John Rhakman Macklin
I enjoy bowling, basketball, tennis,
football. I play 12 musical instruments. I also
design a web page for a real estate company.
Karma does Comeback
with David Edmondson
I thought a lot
about what I would say to start the 2014 year. I could
talk about New Year’s Resolutions, but let’s face it;
don’t we end up regretting those resolutions and
regressing within a month? I also thought about
mentioning the amount of cutthroat television aimed at
people of size this season; but why begin 2014 on such a
depressing topic? Then a funny thing happened while
spending time with my wife Kathy and Safiyah. We watched
past clips of my wife debating a fitness fanatic by the
Michael Karolchyk,founder of the
Anti-Gym,whose sole aim
was to intimidate people of size (First in Denver, Co;
then in San Diego, CA) by throwing bananas and Twinkies
at them in order to get them to work off the pounds.
This debate even made it to “The Dr. Phil Show” where
again my wife debated him with grace even after he
stated; “If you stay your size, you will never get
married.” Well, here it is 2014, and not only
happily married, but
Michael Karolchykis no longer in
business. As I was told at an early age,
karma does come
back to you.
I could talk
about having thick skin and ignoring what negative
people say, but let’s face it, words do hurt and though
you may not bring up the topic, others will. Those
people look for a negative reaction or to see if they
can get you to weaken and sometimes we do……..were only
human. I compare it to the bully in elementary school,
whom talks loud, draws a crowd and gets laughs only to
wilt under the challenge, once it is brought back to the
surface. In the end, no one is going to remember what
they did as much as they remember how you responded to
them. Yelling back at those haters only justifies them,
while handling the situation with class stands out.
Those people always lose in the end as
Karma doescome back.
I am the type of person who gets angry easily and had I
been in my wife’s shoes I do not believe I could have
handled the situation the way she did. I am reminded of
another incident that took place in 2012 at the Well
Rounded Bash in Las Vegas. Many of us had gathered
poolside to beat the 100 degree heat and of course, we
were pointed at by those of smaller size. One lady in
particular seemed offended that people of size would
gather in mass. Her husband started to take pictures,
perhaps to use them to attack us in Instagram, Twitter,
Facebook or other social media sites. They were of
course discouraged from taking any pictures to be used
for propaganda. The point of that was a group, banned
together, taking a stand against those who chose to
attack a group, because their life or lack of life, was
affecting their lifestyle. The point is, the way you
handle yourself says a lot about who you are as a
person. Never let any hater dictate how you live your
life or get you to act in a way that is un becoming,
because after all…..Karma
does come back.