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LargeInCharge Magazine -  10 Year Anniversary!

 Issue#127 - October 2014

Welcome to LargeInCharge Magazine

In this Issue of L.I.C.

 

Raqui-ism

Words of Wisdom from the Heart & Mind of Raqui

 

The Big GB - Angie Bee

Getting my Life Back after Gastric Bypass

 

From the Desk of NAAFA

National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance

 

Foodie in You ~ Lucia Roth 

 

The Observer - Jness 

 

Curvy Styles - Amy Lucas 

 

The Skinny on Big Love - Jay Hansen 

 

Thinking Big - David Edmondson 

 

The Sacred Fat - Freakie

 

LargeInChargeDating - Dating for the Large People who are going to be in Charge of their Love Lives!

 

LargeInCharge Friends - The Place for Big People to make Friends and maybe MUCH MORE!

 

Catching up with Size Postive
West Coast Rapper Jadox!

 

LargeInCharge Featured People and Companies - Where are they now?

By: Raqui

 


Jadox - West Coast Producer/Rapper

It was the end of 2004 when I was annoyed irritated by email and werid guys messaging me. When I got a email from yet again another guy saying he raps about BBW's.  Lets say I was not very interested, (see January 2005 article featureing Jadox).

Issue #11 - January 2005

But the song Big Girls by Jadox changed all that for me on that day.  I featured Jadox and we started a little friendship.  We talked on the phone over the years a few times.  We first met in Standford Connecticut, it was May 2005, after I told Juantia Sanford (Size Positive Party Promoter) about Jadox and his buddy Tofu (another size postive great talented guy) both West Coast Dudes making good Size Postive Music. 

Jadox, Tofu and me hung out that night in Conneticut and we had fun.  Jadox and me took a memoriable photo of our first meeting.  It became famous mostly because years later it was stolen by a website in London called TheLondonPaper.com, who used it, and imposed married couple Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony faces over ours. The Theme of the picture was saying: What it would look like if Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony were fat and ghetto.

May 2005 - Stanford Connecticut

Jadox and Tofu perform

Raqui and Jadox meet for the first time

Our picture stolen, illegally altered to look like Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony

by TheLondonPaper.com

Our second meeting was also in 2005 when Jadox performed in Mahattan NYC when Big Boogie Nights (a West Coast Size Postive Party Promoter) did a East Coast event. Seeing Jadox again was great and so was hearing him rhyme.

Jadox Performs

Jadox and Raqui

It wasnt until 2012 that I was able to see Jadox agagin.  We would talk on the phone every so often. Try to catch up on social media.  Jadox and I couldnt seem to bump into each other.  When I went to a West Coast event he wasnt able to make it.  When he attended I was not there either. 

Jadox participated in a couple of LargeInCharge Radio shows, I played one of his newer songs (Status Update) which I keep on my rotation to throw in when I can because I really love it. I always supported his expression and I enjoyed his flow and how he choose his words.  I was disappointed that we kept missing each other at events. So when I saw that familar face and smile walking across the dance floor to me.  It was a total surprise I had no idea that Jadox would attend the Vegas BBW Bash that year.  I hear that same voice call out RAQUI...  JADOX... I replied and we gave each other a big hug! 

The moment unknown to us was captured by an event photographer, you can tell when old buddies unite even when they are not in contact much.  I will always have fond memories of that respectful, articulate, smooth, kind guy on the West Coast who stands for something and found a way to express it...

Gotta Send my Love out to Jadox... Keep it coming Bro.

 

Check out Jadox's Music at the Following Links:

I-Tunes:  https://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/jadox/id5102406

Big Girls on Google Play:  The first song I heard from Jadox

https://play.google.com/store/music/artist/Jadox?id=Ancvuaclmpx5swvcovluug55z5a

Pintrest:  http://www.pinterest.com/doxola

Sound Cloud:  www.soundcloud.com/jadox

Spotify:  https://play.spotify.com/artist/6FyiuBHb9OFHJg2uLMCZw0?play=true&utm_source=open.spotify.com&utm_medium=open

Interview

 

LargeInCharge.com: What is your name?

Jadox – aka Doxola.  (Some people call me Joule.)

LargeInCharge.com: Where are you from and what is your current Location?

Born and raised in Bay City, Texas.  Current location: Southern California

LargeInCharge.com:   When did you first appear in LargeInCharge Magazine? 

Issue #11 - January 2005

In 2005

LargeInCharge.com: Please tell us why you were featured?

I want to say because of my charm and good looks, but it was more likely that I was featured because I promote Fat Acceptance through hip-hop and rap music.

LargeInCharge.com:  How did you feel when you appeared in LargeInCharge?

Quite naturally, I was honored.  I believe that may have been the first time I was featured in any online publication.  So yes, it was special for me.

LargeInCharge.com:  How do you feel now about being included in our special Decade editions?

(Once again,) honored, actually,  I'm just a regular guy.  (Are y'all sure y'all got the right person?) :-)

LargeInCharge.com: How has your life and endeavors changed since your appearance? 

Mainly I've worked on more positive music for FA's and BBWs.  That's not the only subject matter I cover in my songs, but it's certainly a recurring theme.

LargeInCharge.com:  What changes have you made to advance your career/business?

Making music has always been a hobby of sorts.  Outside of continuing to network with other artists and occasionally post the fruits of our collaborations, I've spent a lot of time just listening to music, trying to find and share songs I enjoy.

LargeInCharge.com: How long have you invested in your venture/career?

I've been making rap songs since roughly 1995; my first “BBW” song was released in 2002.

LargeInCharge.com:  Tell us about some of the most exciting events/occasions, you/your business have held/participated in.

I would have to say that pretty much all of the events I performed at or attended where everyone had a great time were the most exciting to me.

LargeInCharge.com:  Have you been featured in any press, on tv, newspapers etc?

To my knowledge, only the Good Morning America segment from 2005, I think it was. That was the bash in Stamford, CT, if I'm not mistaken.

LargeInCharge.com: What changes have you seen for plus sized people since your first appearance?

Believe it or not, the fashion scene/offerings for people of size seems to have improved since then.  Also, more and more people of size are being featured in leading roles of movies, television shows, and even in print media. (Thank Goodness!)

LargeInCharge.com: Are there any changes you had to make for your venture/career flourish?

The only change that I didn't make was refusing to give up what I enjoyed doing.  I had only a few goals that I wished to achieve, and I was successful in accomplishing those goals. 

LargeInCharge.com: What are some of the most important things you have learned through the years?

·         There are two types of people in this world: Talkers, and DO-ers

·         No one can really define what “normal” is.

·         There's nothing that can compare to the feeling of being “in love” with (and accepting of) yourself.

·         I'm comfortable with being a positive-minded/optimistic person, no matter what the circumstances.

LargeInCharge.com: How is your standing in the Plus Sized Community among the people?  Good feedback, negative feedback, learning lessons?

Can't really answer that outside of:

·         I've got some people out there who like my music & message.

·         I've got some people out there who dislike my music & message.

·         I've got love for them all.

LargeInCharge.com: What would you say inspires you most in life?

While something inside of me generally “strives for perfection,” I think what is truly inspirational is the desire to strive for positivity, or positive change.  I would like for the world to be a better place for my kids, their kids and everyone else.

LargeInCharge.com:  Any new ventures/items/products you have planned for the future?

I might record a few more songs by the end of 2014.  After that, I might switch to producing.  Then again, I might do something entirely different.  Only time will tell.

LargeInCharge.com: What are your future goals?

To be able to watch my kids grow up to be happy, productive members of society, and assist them in whatever way I can.  

LargeInCharge.com: What advice would you give to other people of size who might be interested in doing something similar?

If you receive negative criticism, that isn't necessarily a bad thing (especially when it's objective).  On the other hand, if it's being given simply for the sake of being negative or mean, then dismiss it.

LargeInCharge.com: Describe yourself/ your company/org with one word.

Cliché (I know), but: Me. 

 
 
 

Thank you for Reading The LargeInCharge Feature

 

 

Cover Model of the Month

Vivi Ennui!

 

 

 

           
 

Interview

 

LargeInCharge.com: What is your name?  

 

Vivi Ennui

LargeInCharge.com: Where are you from and what is your current Location?  

 

I am originally from a very small town in Northern Nevada.  I currently live in sunny Los Angeles.

 

LargeInCharge.com:   When did you first appear in LargeInCharge Magazine as a Model?

 
I was the March 2009 cover model.

  • First Appearance



    Issue #60 - March 2009

     
       

    LargeInCharge.com: What made you decide to apply that first time?


    I have been a big supporter of size acceptance and helping women of substance feel confident and worthy.  Back when I applied the first time Large In Charge was one of the only magazines out there of its kind!  I feel that Large In Charge has made such great strides for size acceptance in the last 10 years and I was very honored to be chosen to be on the 5th anniversary cover.

     

    LargeInCharge.com:  How did you feel when you appeared as a LargeInCharge Cover Model?


    Empowered and humbled at the same time. 

     

    LargeInCharge.com:  Has your modeling career grown since your appearance?


    Oh yes!  Significantly!  I had the immense pleasure of modeling and acting for world renowned celebrity photographer (and Emmy award winning director) Alex Prager.  I've been published numerous times. 

    LargeInCharge.com: Have your life and endeavors changed since your appearance? 


    Since my first appearance in LIC so much has happened!


    In 2011 I was voted 3rd best exotic dancer in Northern Nevada [Reno Gazette Journal].  It was actually such an honor!  I was the only burlesque performer on the list and the only plus size woman.   I moved down to Los Angeles in the Summer of 2011 and got my first paid gig after six days.  I hadn't even found an apartment yet and was already working on a project for HBO with really talented funny people!

      
     I've been doing more acting since I've been in Southern California.  I've been in a few music videos.  I started my own makeup brand in fall of 2011 [Mon Ennui Cosmetics]. 

    I've been working hard and being my unique self. 
    I also refuse to take work where I'm reduced to a "fat joke".  I've turned down people like LMFAO... because I just didn't feel like the role they were offering was empowering for women of substance.   It's hard to turn down work!  But, at the same time, I don't want to propagate negative stereotypes or get type cast. 

    I had surgery last March to remove a brain tumor.  I went on hiatus to heal.  I was devastated the day I got home from the hospital and I had a call to be cast in something amazing.  It made it hard, at first, to focus on healing,  But, as soon as I was able... I hit the ground running again!

    I have a music video coming out this Summer with FYI Psalms (a local rapper).  The song is called "Gatekeeper".   This video isn't your average rap video.  The director, Thomas Spool, has a wonderful imagination and envisioned a really gripping concept and character for me to play. 


    It was seriously the most intense day of filming I've ever been involved in.
      

    LargeInCharge.com:  What changes do you see in Plus Sized Modeling?


    Back when I started modeling in the late 90s... being a size 18/20 was a SIN as a "plus size" model.  Now that size range is far more common.  Modeling agencies still look down on women over a size 12... but, a lot of individual brands are breaking that mold and making room for models size 18+.  I sincerely look forward to a day when you'll see gorgeous professional models of all sizes, shapes, colors and ages in advertising and catalogues. 


    I know that there are a lot of artists and photographers out there who really want to work with different body types, now.  That also wasn't as common even five years ago. 

    LargeInCharge.com: What changes do you see for Plus Sized People?


    I think that society is starting to "get it" and we're moving closer to true acceptance.  But, most importantly... we're being represented in the media more frequently as complex people with emotions and motivations. 

    LargeInCharge.com: What would you say inspires you most in life?


    Young women who yearn to feel comfortable in their own skin...  If I can just inspire ONE young person to look at themselves and say "I'm gorgeous just the way I am!" then, THAT is everything to me. 

    I grew up really insecure and awkward.  I'm honestly an insecure and awkward adult, too (I've just learned to manage it better).  My Grammy gave me a powerful gift: Self-Worth. 


    She told me "You are the only person you have to wake up with and go to bed with every night.  Make her proud!"  That shaped so much of who I am today and I feel inspired to pass that on to other young people. 

    Be okay with making mistakes and learning from them.  Love yourself.  Make yourself proud. 

    LargeInCharge.com:  Any new modeling tips and tricks to share?


    Water is still important, obviously. 
    In my more recent experiences in Los Angeles I can tell you that kindness is paramount.   Kindness and showing up will get you really far in this world.  And, I don't mean "be nice to people who are nice to you".  Just be nice to everyone.   Be "easy to work with".  Be a JOY to have around. 


    You can be the best model in the world and the most attractive woman on the planet.  If you have a bad attitude it brings everyone down!  Modeling is hard work.  You are the one in front of the camera... but, it isn't just about you.  There is a team of people you are representing, Makeup artists, brands, a photographer... and if you are lucky...  a publication. 


    You all worked hard to get there together.  You are all working hard toward a common goal. 
    It's important to remember that it's a team effort. 

    Also, Support your fellow models!  Be kind to everyone!
    When one of us shines... we ALL shine. 

    LargeInCharge.com: What are your future goals?


    I'm going to keep doing what I am currently doing. 
    I have some big things coming that I can't talk about, right now... even though I REALLY want to!

     
    I have dreams of having my own plus size clothing line, someday.


    LargeInCharge.com: What advice would you give to other people of size who want to model?

    If you are just starting out:  Take selfies.

     
    I know.  It sounds dumb.  But, it's one of the best ways for you to learn your face and be comfortable with your facial expressions. 

    Let yourself be where you're at RIGHT NOW.   When I look back at what I was doing in 2009... I see how far I've come in five years.  Don't be embarrassed of who you are and where you are.  Look forward and keep evolving and learning and growing.

     
    Don't put yourself (or others) down.  Your confidence and security in yourself is what draws people to you.  Don't fear rejection (you will get rejected a lot) And, most of all... DON'T QUIT!


    We need you out there making the rest of us look amazing.  You're an ambassador for people of size.  

    I believe in you!

    LargeInCharge.com: Describe yourself with one word.

     
    Blessed.

     

     

     

  •  


  •  

    Thanks for reading about our

    Cover Model of the Month

     

     

         Raqui the Owner and Founder of LargeInCharge.com, Raqui's  "Tell it like it is" style of writing has brought thousands to her blogs and millions to LargeInCharge.com.  There is so much behind the woman who has brought this magazine into existence.  Being Internationally known as a wrestler/squasher lead the way to modeling for companies and being featured in magazines and documentaries from all over the world.  She has made a career out of her size and personality. Born and Raised in the Bronx NYC. This city girl is taking the world by storm.

     

         For almost a decade Raqui officially moved into Size Acceptance and Empowerment.  With the creation of LargeInCharge she took what she said to individuals to a higher level and made it public to the internet world. She is a woman who doesn't let things get to her.  Knock her down for the moment but she will rise up stronger and better.  Being a speaker on behalf of many subjects and counseling Plus Sized people online her grace and style has made people love her.  Raqui continues to set an example of a powerful woman who will bend the world to fit her, her way.

     

         Raqui's appearances include, Uk Television, German TV, Japan, Europe, Sweden and the Spanish circuit.  Her many magazines appearances have been world wide.  She has hit American Television in 2006 with Good Morning American and since has appeared on The Cristina Show,  The Maury Show and The Tyra Banks Show.

    To view her Online portfolio visit www.Raqui.com

    Raqui's Blog titled Raqui-ism "Soulfully Speaking! - http://raqui-ism.blogspot.com/

    go to www.Raqui.com Portfolio Section

     

    Raqui-ism - Make 2014 a Inspirational Year

    Written By: Raqui

     

     

     

     

    Inspiration

    In this world we live in, it can be hard at times to see anything but the horror and insanity around us.  News Reports, Crime Shows, Newspapers, Online Sites and blogs are way more interested in what is sensational and wrong with this world, without focusing on what is good in this world.  So this year I dedicate my column to all that is inspirational, positive and helpful.  

     

    Be a Motivator

    Disabled... it is a word that is used for many reasons.  In general to be disabled is to have a physical/mental ailment that makes living life more difficult.  Whether it is a physical problem or a mental one.  To be disabled is often a blessing and a curse.  It means that you have to say, it is harder to get around, keep a job, live in general.  All your really saying is you need a little help from time to time, but often people want to look down on your for being disabled. 

     

    I dont think disabled is a proper word, I like to say diffirently abled.  You may being missing an arm or leg, you may be blind or cant speak, you may have more weight on you or have a mentel ailment that prevents you from being able to communicate, deal with others and making a living and holding down a job almost impossible. Still that doesnt make you a person who is unable, it means you need some help/accomidation, or certain things are not your strong point.  Still that isnt disabled, everyone has their strong points when they realize they are worthy, loved, special just as they are, and ABLE to make a diffrence, to have a purpose in life

     

    That is why this month I wanted to bring to you a series of videos from a man I truly admire.  His name Nick Vujicic, the man with no arms and no legs. Nicholas James Vujicic (born on 4 December 1982) is a preacher and motivational speaker -- born with Tetra-amelia syndrome, a rare disorder characterized by the absence of all four limbs. He struggled as a child, eventually came to terms with his disability and started his own non-profit organization Life without Limbs at age seventeen. Vujicic presents motivational speeches worldwide, on life with a disability, hope, and finding meaning in life.

     You can read more about his here - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nick_Vujicic

    He found his purpose through his belief system and by not allowing him self to stay down.  He motivated himself and found inspiration through his belief in a higher power.  He encourages others to do the same to find their, purose their inspiration.  His work with school children is very impressive and that is why I featured him in LargeInCharge some years ago when I found out about him.  He is a LargeInCharge person who doesnt see himself as disable but diffrently abled.  He thought he would never have a life, no arms, no legs, how will he work, how will he live, thinking who would love him, how can he have a wife, how can he take care of a wife when he cant even hold her hand.  Then he realized his real worth and has gone on to change so many other people and make them realize they are worthy as well.

    So today will you think about what motivates you?  What keeps you from being all you can be?  What has killed your joy and are you going to fight to get it back? I will close this article with a few words from Nick.

    “If I fail, I try again, and again, and again. If YOU fail, are you going to try again? The human spirit can handle much worse than we realize. It matters HOW you are going to FINISH. Are you going to finish strong?”    ― Nick Vujicic

    Check out Nick's YouTube Channel - http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJCFruKJrDxmI26fIhFEMMQ

     

    Nick Vujicic - "Something More" - Music Video

    Nick Vujicic - "No Arms... No Legs... No worrites." - Speaking to School children

    Nick Vujicic - "Overcoming Hopelessness" - at the TEDx Talks

    Nick Vujicic - The story of Nick and his beautiful Wife Kanae Miyahara

     

    Nick Vujicic - Nick and his son Kiyoshi play together

     

     

    Raqui


     
     
     

    LargeInCharge Radio - Weekly Radio show discussing Plus Sized Issues.  Friday's 9-11 pm EST - Call in & Chat in our Chat Room.

     

    Thank you for Reading Raqui-ism

    Please send thoughts and comments to

    articles@largeincharge.com

     
     

       

    Angie BEE grew-up a standard-sized young woman, educated in communications, promotions and planning.  She became a wife, mother and ministry support member while building businesses and her faith.

    Through stress, age and a poor diet and while suffering from major depression and attempted suicide, Angie BEE's weight climbed from 180 pounds to 360 pounds.  She was diagnosed with high blood pressure, diabetes, obstructive sleep apnea, an overactive bladder and poor leg circulation.  At the age of 40 an anxiety attack and the decline in her mental health forced her to stop work and look at improving her declining health.  It was during this time that Angie BEE became inspired by her younger sister Sonya Bennett during her process towards Gastric Bypass Surgery.  Sonya launched this column and will return occasionally to contribute to it, but now that she is three years-post surgery... her life is focused on something new!

    Now, celebrating her first year of a new life since having the procedure herself, Angie BEE is healthier than she has been in over a decade.  Losing the first 100 pounds was just the bonus!  She is now diabetes-free.  She has normal blood pressure.  The circulation in her legs is normal.  She sleeps without a c-pap machine and more!  The joy that she feels is documented each day in her syndicated radio show, a brand new weekly  TV show documentary and each month in this article.  The Big GB stands for The BIG Gastric Bypass and it also stands for "Getting (my life) Back".  This article reflects how Angie BEE's life has improved... by the grace of God and as the result of having Gastric Bypass surgery on Feb 28, 2011.  This is now her life!

     

    Forgiveness - The First Step towards Healing and Recovery

    with Angie Bee

     

     

    Sometimes when you are hurt or injured, you look back on the action that put you in that situation and you can become angry.  "Why didn't I turn left instead of right?  I wouldn't be wearing this cast now!"; "Why didn't I just go to the doctor when this pain first appeared?".  As we try to heal the anger can grow to bitterness and then un-forgiveness.  At times, we can't even forgive ourselves for the weight we added to our shoulders and hips and stomachs and thighs in spite of the weight loss and the healing.  The weight loss may have begun, the diseases may be in remission but forgiveness is the first TRUE step towards healing and recovery; it's time to forgive.

     

    "Why did I eat that last bite?"  I remember participating in a surgical weight loss support group just before my gastric bypass procedure in February 2011.  The lesson they taught that night was to measure out your protein portions per meal and to strive to be satisfied once those portions are consumed.  They taught us to not go back for seconds just because the food was tasty.  They taught us that sometimes that extra bite of food can be just the thing to irritate our stomachs (pouch) and set us off into "dumping".  Even with that lesson, I admit that the fried fish I ate last weekend was truly yummy, and as I experienced stomach cramps and light-and hot-headness, I had to forgive myself for cramming that last bite into my mouth.

     

    Forgiveness can cause you to look at a situation in a better way!  Don't be bitter that others aren't doing more to help themselves OR you.  Don't be frustrated because the weight isn't dropping off as quickly as you want it to.  Don't be jealous because someone else lost more weight than you did and resist the temptation to compare your life with another! These examples can cause you to build a wall around you: a false wall of unnecessary protection where new joys cannot enter.  Think about the friend that you haven't spoken to in years and the fun that you could have been having together if you had only forgiven them?

     

    I look at my flabby thighs and arms since the 197 pound weight loss.  The skin on my thighs now hangs near my knee caps, and my arms are so loose and wobbly that sleeveless dresses are no longer my option.  The skin hanging from my former "double chin" makes me look older in my selfies and we won't even TALK ABOUT my saggy boobs!  I know that all of these cosmetic concerns can be corrected through plastic surgery and that I was informed of these "side effects" before having surgery,  but there was still a sense of anger at myself and my personal appearance when I looked in the mirror.  It wasn't until I began to forgive myself that I could accept my healing and smile at myself again.

     

    There is a song that I enjoy by singer Toby Mac that features Christian rapper Lecrae.  The song speaks on forgiveness and it talks about burning bridges and allowing anger to deprive you of happiness.  I realize that when I weighed 387 pounds I was angry about the diabetes and high blood pressure and obstructive sleep apnea.  I realize I was angry having to inject insulin into my body and angry that my ankles would swell and become painful from the poor circulation.  I was angry that I had to even CONSIDER having weight loss surgery and even angry at God for allowing me to overeat to obesity.  I was angry that I never felt full and it seemed like I never had control over my eating because of these feelings.

     

    Forgiveness has helped me in SO many ways!  I have forgiven myself for not taking better care of myself.  Now I even try to exercise everyday while watching www.BeverlyExercise.com and I am no longer focused on the next dress size that I want to get down in to.  Forgiveness has helped me to restore my attitude towards others that have hurt me in the past.  People that have abandoned me or turned their back on me when I was in need continued to 'live in my mind, rent-free' and I couldn't even think about them without reliving the hurt and pain.  Now, I can see how forgiveness has helped me because the anger is gone and I find myself praying for them!  God heals our minds and bodies each and every day, and as long as we forgive others that have wronged us then we keep showing HIM the glory that we deserve!  My body is a temple of the Lord and I want my temple to be strong as I grow older.

     

    Recently I had an elderly relative become injured as the result of a fall.  She is still in a cast and in a wheelchair a month later.  I found myself becoming angry over the situation because I had been talking to her for months prior about the decline in her quality of life.  She has relatives that are trying to help her, but she wants to do it all herself.  She wants to live alone and struggle alone.  Well, I became so angry over her stubbornness that I didn't even want to call and check on her!  When I realized that my anger was blocking my ability to help her or others... I had to seek forgiveness and move forward.  We have to take responsibility for our health and He will bless us for it.  Why am I blocking my own blessing for holding onto anger over someone else?

     

    In October our TOUR will minister in two Florida cities.  We will come together as Moms & Dads and Authors and rappers to share our testimonies and give examples of healing.  I have been asked to bring a Word of encouragement to the congregation during a Sunday morning service on October 5th and the Lord has instructed me to speak on the topic of forgiveness.  Whom do you need to forgive?  What has upset you?  Which situation has consumed your every waking and sleeping moment?  Can you see how these unforgiving emotions are affecting your diet?  Gastric Bypass surgery is just a tool in the overall process of healing and weight loss and even Proverbs 23:2 tells us to avoid gluttony!  Now, let's use the tool of forgiveness as we continue to heal. 

     

     

    Angie BEE

    www.daqueenbee.com

    Author, Magazine Publisher, Producer, Promoter &

    The Host of The Hottest Home Hotspot WORLDWIDE

    Syndicated Holy Hip Hop Radio Show

    Last Week I wanted to Die!

    NOW AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE!


     

       
     

    Thanks for reading

    The Big GB - Getting My Life back after Gastric Bypass

    with Angie Bee


         Founded in 1969, NAAFA is a non-profit civil rights organization dedicated to improving the quality of life for fat people. NAAFA works to eliminate discrimination based on body size and provide fat people with the tools for self-empowerment through public education, advocacy, and member support.

     

         This Column is dedicated to the tremendous work NAAFA has been doing for over four decades.  LargeInCharge wishes to support NAAFA in spreading the word of its work, and give the public more information into issues we as plus sized people should be aware of.  The fight for equality for people of all sizes is one we support.

        

         This Column will include News Releases and Calls to Action from NAAFA Directors.

     

    This Column has been Approved by NAAFA.org

     

    Wolves in Sheep's Clothing

    from: NAAFA.org

     

     

    A special communication* that was published in the April, 2014 issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) was severely criticized by two so-called obesity advocacy organizations, the Obesity Society and the Obesity Action Coalition. Why was it criticized? Because the original writers believe that obesity is NOT a disease and that two diet drugs currently being reviewed by the Federal Drug Administration (FDA) should not be marketed without more convincing evidence about the cardiovascular safety of the medication.

     

    Alright, let’s get this straight. Two organizations that are supposed to represent the best interests of people of larger body sizes want fat people to be medicalized and want to allow pharmaceutical companies to release drugs that may:

    1. Have only up to a 7% success rate
    2. have cardiovascular risks

     

    Definitions

    Advocate: a person who actively supports or favors a cause

    Lobbyist: a person who attempts to influence decisions made by officials in the government, most often legislators or members of regulatory agencies

     

    If you research the source of funding for the two dissenting organizations, the Obesity Society and the Obesity Action Coalition, it becomes apparent that they are the best advocates that money can buy for the diet industry, drug manufacturers and bariatric surgeons.  

     

    Furthermore, these are the organizations that are being enlisted by federal agencies to represent the interests of people with larger body sizes as stake holders. Do these organizations represent the people or those that would profit from them?  These organizations do not represent the best interest of people of large body size.

     

    These organizations went so far as to run a story with the headline, "Nothing about us, without us," the rallying call of the disability rights movement, and proudly pointed to the fact that two people who had sought weight loss had told their stories at their meeting.

    The cynical cooptation of language that activists have used to fight stigma ("people first" language, and "nothing about us without us") by organizations whose agenda is to smooth the way for corporate profits is disgraceful.  The "War on Obesity" is a war on obese people, and the spoils are more bodies to widen markets.  If people want to support the health of higher-weight people, the first step is to work closely with members of the community to understand our lives and needs. NAAFA and ASDAH stand ready to educate and advocate.

    *The New Weight-Loss Drugs, Lorcaserin and Phentermine-Topiramate Slim Pickings?, Woloshin and Schwartz, April 2014 JAMA

     

     

     

     

    Founded in 1969, NAAFA is a non-profit human rights organization dedicated to improving the quality of life for fat people. NAAFA works to eliminate discrimination based on body size and provide fat people with the tools for self-empowerment through public education, advocacy, and member support.

     

     
     
     

     

    Thanks for reading

    From the Desk of NAAFA

    Link

    www.NAAFA.org

        

    Some of you make know me as web girl/Lulu from Fashion Find. Well… I’ve move on to another one of my favorite’s pastime which is cooking. To get you all up to date on what’s going on. I’m currently pursuing a graduate degree at Ashford University I have a B.A. degree in Organizational Communication from Southeastern Louisiana University.

     

    I am most passionate about cooking. I believe with cooking you can always grow… I fried my first egg when I was 2 and baked my first cake at 5. Cooking is an easy and dynamic experience if you have a passion for a good tasting meal.

     

    Motto: Cook with your heart not with your head.

     

    If you have a favorite dish you would like to share please forward with recipe and photo to

    Web_girl1999@yahoo.com

     

     

     
    Happiness Kitchen
    with Lucia Roth
     

    Happy Halloween!  Kids aren’t the only ones who should be having fun on Halloween!  Adults need fun too.  I say that Halloween is a proclamation or an excuse to put on your big girl/ big boy panties as well as your dancing shoes and party. Did you know Halloween outside of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year Eve is just one of the biggest parties.

     

    Not to spook you out, but Halloween can be a diet and health disaster if you don’t keep your wits about you.  That’s if you’re watching   your sugar in take.  As you know Halloween is holiday of artificial dye- and sweetener-filled candy, and a lot of it. I say the more the better. 

     

    It’s your party!   Let’s start it off with…

     

       






    Zombie Gut Punch

    Bitters, blood orange and vodka poured from a skull: the perfect punch for the brain-eating, cocktail-swilling undead in all of us. Don’t miss the video footage of us dressed like bloodthirsty corpses in prom dresses.

    10 ounces vodka
    5 ounces Triple Sec
    2 ounces bitters
    1 cup freshly squeezed blood orange juice

    2 cups black cherry soda
    Grenadine, for rim

    In a large punch bowl filled with ice, pour the vodka, Triple Sec, bitters, blood orange juice and black cherry soda. Laugh as though you are an evil zombie and stir. Rim each glass with grenadine before filling with punch mixture, and serve. Stagger around menacingly, and threaten to eat strangers’ brains.

     

    (10servings.)

    Moving on to…

     

     
      Saucy Spider with Hairy Leg Sticks

    ·         2 balls pizza dough (thawed if frozen)

    ·         1 large egg,  beaten

    ·         1/4 cup(s) grated Parmesan (1 oz)

    ·         2 tablespoon(s) grated Parmesan (1 oz)

    ·         1 large pitted black olive,  quartered lengthwise

    ·         2 cup(s) marinara sauce

     

    Directions

    • Heat oven to 375°F. Line 2 large baking sheets with parchment paper.
    • Make the spider: Cut 1 ball of dough in half. Shape one half into a 5-in. ball to make the spider body. Cut a 1 1/2-in. strip from the remaining half and shape into a 2 1/2-in. ball to make the head. Cut the remaining dough into 8 strips and roll each strip into a 6-in. rope to make the legs.
    • Arrange the body, legs and head on one of the prepared baking sheets to resemble a spider, gently pressing all of the pieces of dough together. Brush the entire spider with some of the egg. Sprinkle the legs with 2 Tbsp Parmesan. Place 2 of the olive slices on the top of the head for eyes and 2 on the bottom for pincers. Bake until golden brown, 25 to 30 minutes (covering the legs with foil if browning too quickly).
    • Meanwhile, make the spider leg sticks: Cut the remaining ball of dough into 8 pieces. Roll each piece into a 3/4-in.-thick rope. Cut each rope into various lengths. Taper one end of each piece and slightly bend the other to resemble legs. Place on the second baking sheet. Brush with the remaining egg and sprinkle with the remaining 1/4 cup Parmesan. Bake until golden brown, 15 to 20 minutes.
    • Meanwhile warm the marinara sauce. Using a knife, hollow out the body of the spider and fill with the warm sauce. Serve with the leg sticks.

    End with…

      Pumkin Chili

    •3 pounds ground turkey or beef

    • 1 medium onion, chopped

    • 2 cans (16 ounces each) hot chili beans, undrained

    • 2 bottles (12 ounces each) chili sauce

    • 2 cans (10-3/4 ounces each) condensed tomato soup, undiluted

    • 1 cup canned pumpkin

    • 2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice

    • 1 teaspoon salt

    • 1 teaspoon sugar

    • 1 teaspoon pepper

    • 1 teaspoon chili powder

     

    Directions

    In a large Dutch oven, cook beef and onion over medium heat until no longer pink; drain. Stir in the remaining ingredients. Add water if desired to reduce thickness. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat; cover and simmer for 1 hour. Yield: 11 servings

    Get creepy in the kitchen.

       
     

     

     

    Celebrating almost two decades as a Graphic Designer/Published Illustrator, Jean Nerestant Jr (Jness) got his start as a graphic artist in 1994, Still working as a graphic designer by day/ Jness devotes time to his hip hop Culture, comic book art and Plus size/BBW Art.

     

     

    Metamorphosis

    with Jness

     

    This month I present you with an illustration that mimics the very familiar image we see every day in the media, featuring the triumphant plus size woman who found a miraculous method to lose weight. The “before and after” photograph. My illustration puts a fresh spin on the scenario. The big girl is the hero in my rendition, on the side showing improvement. Now please don’t get me wrong, I am not against safe, healthy weight loss by any stretch of the imagination. My artwork featured in this article promotes a positive outlook on the body you are in and most importantly at the size you currently are. I don’t like the way weight loss pill pushers place their advertisements in every area that pertains to people of size. Yes, I understand its business. There is something about it that feels more like an intrusion. They even create Facebook accounts posing as regular people so that their sales people can friend you just to post ads on your wall. This is a gesture I don’t appreciate, resulting in me blocking them. I refuse to have my artwork be used as a lure to pressure people into purchasing weight loss products. That would be a gross misrepresentation of what my artwork stands for.

    Many plus sized people have gone under the knife in order to have fat removed from their bodies. It is the individual’s right to choose this path. The size acceptance community has been in existence for quite some time. A lot of benchmarks have been accomplished in the areas concerning discrimination against people because of their size. There is still a lot of work to be done. It’s interesting watching how surgery can instantly change membership status in this community. What’s even more interesting is what people do once they are no longer plus size. There is a woman I know on Facebook who used to be a very active leader in Yahoo bbw groups. She is no longer a woman of size. I recently read comments she made making fun of plus size celebrities. It’s funny how we can firmly believe in a thing and moments later forget where we came from and what it felt like to be mistreated and disrespected because of one’s appearance.

    The truth of the matter is that we should all be true to the words we speak. Just because your situation has changed doesn’t mean your perspective has to completely change. If anything your insight should be richer and help form a more informed perspective. Love yourself as you are and don’t allow others to make you feel like less than you are. You deserve more than that. If your desire is to lose weight, do it safely, and do it for yourself. Make sure it’s not for others, because after you lose the weight they will just find something else to be critical of.

     Hope you like this month’s illustration. Share your thoughts with me by sending your e-mails to jness4bbws@gmail.com. I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

    Jean JNESS Nerestant
    Large In Charge Magazine

     

     

     

    Hello there all my fashion loving friends. My name is Amy Lucas and in this column I hope to bring you some new outfits that will make you feel great and be Large and In Charge. My whole life has not been devoted to fashion as my background is in teaching Spanish, Math, and Science. I also have a master’s degree in Central Office Administration.

     

    With that said, I have been wearing plus sizes for as long as I can remember so I do know the struggles we all face to find cute clothes. I come from a smaller town in Michigan, which means I have an even harder time finding plus size clothing in my area since the choices are so limited; as well as, the sizes and styles each store carries. 

     

    Out of necessity, I started looking online instead of just settling for the places here and have found that other women could use the help too. I run a fashion group on Facebook called BBW Fashion where I post something fabulous each day hoping to help all those to find what they want in their size.

     

    In my career, I've helped plus size students and their parents to find fashion in their sizes that would help them with their self-esteem and make them feel good about themselves. I have also dabbled in fashion before this modeling for three different stores, winning a cover model spot in July of 2012 in Large in Charge magazine, and I was Ms. LBC 2008 for Linda's Big Connections in Chicago. I look forward to showing you what is available in plus size fashion and help you to look even more beautiful and chic.

     

     

     
    19 Hot Halloween Looks
    with Amy Lucas
     

    Halloween is that time of year where you want to find that perfect costume to wear on Halloween or to the numerous BBW parties going on. There are many options out there but I have put together twenty looks for you to masquerade in. If you find that any costumes or accessories are sold out make sure to check other costume sites as many of these are offered on other sites as well.

     

    19 Hot Halloween Looks  
    Number 1.  

    Dark Angel Accessory Set,

    $14.95, www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Basic Black Satin Corset,

    sizes 1x-6x, $42.95,

    www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Super Soft Tulle Long Petticoat,

    sizes 1/2x -5/6x, $59.95,

    www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Villain Glitter Eye Art Kit,

    $28.81, www.amazon.com

     

    Women’s Bettie Page Regan Pump in black,

    sizes 5-11, $69.95, www.onestopplus.com

    Number 2.  

    Flirty Flight Attendant Costume Dress,

    sizes 1/2x- 3/4x, $45, www.torrid.com

     

    Red Wing Bracelet from

    the Skadi Jewelry store, $22.40, www.etsy.com

     

    RSVP Spencer Peep Toe Pump in red patent,  available in medium and wide widths

    in sizes 6-12, $69.00, www.zappos.com

    Number 3.  

    Day of the Dead Senorita Costume, sizes 1-3x, $69.99, www.spirithalloween.com

     

    Dotted Sugar Skull Earrings, $4.99, www.spirithalloween.com

     

    QueenFashion Shiny Pumps with Flowers Floriation, sizes 5-8.5, $19.99, www.amazon.com

     

    Day of the Dead Red Bag of Tattoos, $5.99, www.spirithalloween.com

     

    Rose Headband, $9.99, www.spirithalloween.com

    Number 4.  

    Sequin Corset in black, sizes 1x-6x, $69.95, www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Long Stretch Taffeta Skirt in black, sizes 1x-5x, $89.95, www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Jeweled Coin Belt, $39.95, www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Jeweled Headband, $34.95, www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Temporary Eye Tattoo Eye shadow Eyeliner Stickers, $1.80, www.amazon.com

     

    Gold Glitterati Lip Applique, $10, www.amazon.com

     

    Metallic Strap Platform Heels, sizes 7-13 in wide width, $46.50, www.torrid.com

    Number 5.  

    Plus Size Cavewoman Costume Deluxe Kit comes in black or brown, sizes L-9x, $74.98 with accessories, www.sanctuarie-net.stotres.yahoo.net

     

    Cheetah Eye Pastie Makeup by Xoticeyes, $11.99, www.amazon.com

     

    Animal Print Furry Leg Warmers, $22.99, www.halloweencostumes.com

     

    Bamboo Lois-01 Leopard Lug Sole Sandals, sizes 7-10, $18, www.makemechic.com

    Number 6.  

    Racketeering Pirate Costume, sizes 1x-12x, $95, www.biggalslingerie.com

     

    Fence Net Pantyhose, queen size (1-3x), $14.00, www.biggalslingerie.com

     

    Hooked Eye Kit, $24.99, www.spirithalloween.com

     

    Pirate Cutlass, $5.99, www.halloweencostumes.com

     

    Secret Wishes Pirate Lass Boots, sizes S-L, $30.37, www.amazon.com

    Number 7.  

    Sexy Playboy Bunny Halloween Costume Kit available in white or black, sizes L-9x, $59.99, www.sanctuarie-net.stores.yahoo.net

     

    Tuxedo Bunny Costume Shoe, sizes 6-12, $53.99, www.amazon.com

     

    Tux Kit (includes cuffs and bowtie), $8.99, www.halloweencostumes.com

     

    Black and Silver Glitter Eyelashes, $6.99, www.halloweencostumes.com

    Number 8.  

    Gangster Mobster Costume, sizes 1x-12x, $109, www.biggalslingerie.com

     

    Ellie Shoes E-550 Pinstripe Pump, sizes 5-10, $65.30, www.amazon.com

     

    Black Brass Knuckle Necklace, $6.33, www.amazon.com

     

    Hip Hop Platinum Silver Plated Removable Mouth Grillz Set Iced Out, $19.99, www.amazon.com

     

    Forum Novelties Roaring 20’s Gangster Girl Garter and Flask, $9.21, www.amazon.com

    Number 9.  

    Medieval Warrior Maiden Adult Plus Size Costume, sizes 1/2x-3/4x, $69.99, www.spirithalloween.com

     

    Spartan Combat Shield and Sword, $14.99, www.buycostumes.com

     

    Breckelle’s Solo-11 Lace Up Gladiator Sandals in chestnut, sizes 6-11, $28.73, www.makemechic.com

    Number 10.  


    Medieval Warrior Maiden Adult Plus Size Costume, sizes 1/2x-3/4x, $69.99, www.spirithalloween.com

     

    Spartan Combat Shield and Sword, $14.99, www.buycostumes.com

     

    Breckelle’s Solo-11 Lace Up Gladiator Sandals in chestnut, sizes 6-11, $28.73, www.makemechic.com

    Number 11.  

    Pinup Devil Costume, sizes 1x-12x, $99, www.biggalslingerie.com

     

    Ruffled Two Layer Petticoat in black, sizes 1x-3x and 4-6x, $24.95, www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Demona Devil Wig with Horns, $29.99, www.spirithalloween.com

     

    Demonic Glitter Eye Art Kit, $18.99, www.amazon.com

     

    Red Vampire Eye Contact Lens, $48.99, www.halloweencostumes.com

     

    J. Renee Marva Pump, sizes 5-13 in all widths, $87.95, www.shoebuy.com

    Number 12.  

    Sexy Corset Style Snow White Costume, sizes 1x-12x, $89, www.biggalslingerie.com

     

    Twisted Fairytale Black Wig, $24.99, www.partycity.com

     

    Madden Girl Getta in blue micro, sizes 5-11 in medium and wide widths, $39.95, www.zappos.com

     

    Red Bow Eyelashes, $5.99, www.spirithalloween.com

    Number 13.  

    Plus Size Football Fantasy Costume, sizes 1x-4x, $78.95, www.yandy.com

     

    Grip Rite Junior Football, $8.99, www.halloweencostumes.com

     

    Over the Knee Stay-Up Stockings in black, sizes 1/2x-5/6x, $12.95, www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Eye Black Stickers, $5.99, www.halloweencostumes.com

     

    Canvas Fashion High Heel Platform Lace Up Ankle Bootie MANIAC 10 in black by Stylique, sizes 7-11, $59.99, www.amazon.com

    Number 14.  


    Collar and Tie Set (2pack), $12.95, www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Schoolgirl Plaid Corset with Lace Trim, sizes XL-6x, $49.95, www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Over the Knee Stockings in black, $9.95, www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Ruffled Two Layer Petticoat in black, sizes 1-3x or 4-6x, $24.95, www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Red Crystal Eyelashes by Forum Novelties, $9.99, www.onestoplus.com

     

    Women’s Ellie Bridget PH609 Stiletto, sizes 5-11, $39.95, www.onestopplus.com

     

    Extra Credit Adult School Girl Kit comes with hair bows, glasses, and ruler paddle, $24.99, www.spirithalloween.com

    Number 15.  

    La Sirena Luxe Steel Boned Corset in black, sizes 28-44, $149.95, www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Mermaid Metallic Trumpet Tulle Skirt, sizes 1x-6x , $84.95, www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Crimson Red Goddess Wig, $39.95, www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Azure Eyes, $29.95, www.xoticeyes.com

     

    Starfish Hair Pins from the Seashell Collection store, $16, www.etsy.com

     

    Seaweed Boa, $8.99, www.halloweencostumes.com

     

    The Ariel-Mermaids Engagement Ring on a Shell with Pearls from the Pocket Full of Shellz store, $31.86, www.etsy.com

    Number 16.  

    Vamp Doll Dress, sizes 14-28, $49.95, www.dominodollhouse.com

     

    Women’s Bettie Page Caroline Pump in red, sizes 5-11, $63.95, www.onestopplus.com

     

    Vampire Blood Drop Jewels, $2.99, www.spirithalloween.com

     

    Blood Drip Mini Top Hat, $9.99, www.halloweencostumes.com

     

    Small Blood Tip Vampire Fangs, $19.99, www.halloweencostumes.com

     

    Vampire Purse, $9.99, www.halloweencostumes.com

    Number 17.  

    Plus Size Crazy Mad Hatter Costume, sizes 1/2x-3/4x, $69.95, www.yandy.com

     

    Satin Opera Gloves in black, $11.95, www.yandy.com

     

    Plus Size Fishnet Crotchless Panties, one size, $5.95, www.yandy.com

     

    Fever Eyelashes Feather, $5.38, www.amazon.com

     

    Studded Strappy Booties, sizes 7-13 in wide width, $49.50, www.torrid.com

    Number 18.  

    Catwoman mask, Gloves, and Nails Blister Kit from Rubies Costume Co., $17.99, www.onestopplus.com

     

    ASOS CURVE Exclusive Bodyfit Jumpsuit with Mesh Sweetheart, sizes 14-24, $53.32, www.us.asos.com

     

    Mariella Leather Ankle Boot, sizes 7-12 in wide width, $149, www.lanebryant.com

    Number 19.  

    Sexy Panda Bear Costume, sizes 1/2x -3/4x, $51.95, www.yandy.com

     

    Ruffled Two Layer Petticoat in black, sizes 1-3x and 4-6x, $24.95, www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    School Yard Babe Patent Mary Jane Heel in black patent, sizes 6-14, $37.95, www.yandy.com

     
     

    Jay Hansen and Heidi Davis are size-acceptance advocates from Oklahoma and co-own Oklahoma's only social size-acceptance group, Oklahoma BBW, BHM, and their Admirers. Heidi was born in 1969 and has been a large woman her whole life, just as Jay has been an admirer of such plus-sized women all of his.

     

    Heidi graduated High School in 1987, which is the same year Jay was born. The two met online in 2005 and quickly developed a friendship. In 2009, Jay graduated the University of Central Oklahoma with a Bachelor’s in English Education, and the following year he and Heidi started dating and quickly fell deeply in love.

     

    Heidi is experienced, blunt, pragmatic, down-to-earth, and strong in every sense of the word, while Jay is intellectual, articulate, ideological, contemplative, and gentle. Heidi is eighteen years Jay's senior and nearly three times his weight, while Jay is 140 pounds soaking wet with a brick in his pocket. He's a king amongst nerds and all things geeky; she's a tattooed, rough-and-tumble, hard rocker to her core. Together, they are a beautiful personification of the old adage opposites attract.

     

    "The Skinny on Big Love with Jay Hansen" was started in 2013 with Jay as the primary writer and Heidi as his muse and endless source of ideas and inspiration. Together, the two hope to provide people with a new frame of mind on love and relationships, promote open-mindedness and acceptance, ask intriguing questions, foster conversations, and prove to the world that titles such as weight and age, amongst countless others, should never stand in the way of one's pursuit of happiness.


     
    Going Big Places
    with Jay Hansen
     

    Earlier this week Heidi and I had to scout out a new location to host my Young Turks meet ups here in Oklahoma City. The rules for finding a place were simple, yet finding an adequate place was a challenge. After weeks of searching, I narrowed it to two locations that shall be referred to as shop A and shop B. When we actually visited these two locations, one was quite size accommodating, while the other was possibly the least size accommodating establishment I've ever seen. I wrote an article before about chronic size-related challenges we face when we go out to eat (the table vs. booth conundrum), but in it I didn't exactly detail what actually makes a restaurant or any business "fat friendly." Our experience with these two shops gave me such a stark contrast I finally had the inspiration and experience I needed to tell this story with the specificity and first-hand knowledge it deserves.

     

    Shop A was the first we went to, and it was fantastic. On top of great food, there was plenty of open space. The chairs did not have arms, there were ample cushioned seats versus harder, table seats, the temperature was maintained at an acceptable level, and perhaps most of all, the waiter working the front desk was very friendly, answered all of our questions, and made sure we were comfortable. The chairs were sturdy and the floor was concrete, so they didn't slide around. Parking was a little hard, but not unacceptable; we still easily found a spot within walking distance for Heidi, which isn't very far because of her bad knees.

     

    Then we went to Shop B. Lord, where to begin! First of all, when I called I was told Tuesday was supposedly their slowest night, yet they were packed. Their parking lot, which consisted of approximately eight spots, was full, and the nearest one was a good five minute walk away for Heidi, which she barely made in the hot, muggy Oklahoma summer. When we did make it to the shop, the doorway was quite narrow since the building was a refurbished house. It was literally difficult just for Heidi to get inside the door, but that was nothing compared to what happened inside.

     

    Ahead of us and to the left was the front counter, but there was a very awkwardly positioned column just in front of us, and in front of the counter. It was so close to the counter that Heidi couldn't fit between it, so she had to go around, but immediately to the right of the column was a table, so she had to go around that. Heidi had to walk almost half the length of the building in a labyrinth-style path to so much as get to the front desk all because of poorly placed columns and furniture that made it impossible for a person of size to navigate.

     

    When we finally got our food we looked for a place to sit. The nearest place was the aforementioned awkwardly placed table Heidi had to slide around to get to the front desk, so she headed there while I paid for our food. I don't know how, but she managed to ever-so-delicately sit in the chair and wait for me. It was about that time I noticed something; I'm relatively certain their furniture was built for hobbits. Seriously, the chairs were so tiny and flimsy that one creaked and groaned when I sat in it. Plus, it was a wooden chair with no stoppers on the legs on a hardwood floor, so when I sat down the chair slid nearly two inches forward, and I was concerned that I would fall out of it, if not break it. Me. 140 pound me. Heidi looked at me and immediately said "yeah, no," and we searched for another place to sit.

     

     

    Since I was checking the place out for my TYT meet ups, I thought I'd poke into the private room to see what it's like. In all seriousness, the "private room" was much smaller than my own living room, yet had four tables crammed into it, each with at least three or four chairs. The room was also stuffed to the brim with customers; apparently, the "private room" is the first part of the shop to fill up. People scrawnier than I am were practically sitting in each other's laps they so tightly packed. There was literally no way, even if the room had been empty, that Heidi could even get into the private room, much less now when it was full.

     

    Eventually, we found this sofa... thing... with no arms or back. I guess it was more like an ottoman on steroids. When I sat on it, it was so plush I sank several inches into it. When Heidi sat in it, she sank half-way to the floor, which is bad enough on its own but even worse for her given her knees. Also, there was no table for this seat, so we just had to hold our plates in our hands. It was a coffee shop, so I'd be willing to look past that if not for all the other challenges we encountered.

     

    It was not long after starting to eat that I was sweating. Me. I don't sweat unless I'm doing hard physical work or dying. It wasn't much cooler inside the shop than outside at all. That's when I realized Heidi must be absolutely miserable from the heat alone and I knew we had to get out of there. We ate as quickly as we could, and as I did I took more visual notes of the place. A lot of the furniture was not just hobbit tiny, but falling apart. That furniture that actually was size-accommodating was already occupied by some of the smallest, thinnest people I'd ever seen. Now I'm not about to expect people to just give up their seats for us based on our physical needs in today's modern society - that sounds like something Christ would do - but it also certainly didn't help the circumstances of our visit.

     

    About the same time as I finished eating the horrible smell of body odor hit me right in the face; everyone in the restaurant was sweating profusely, yet perfectly content to just hang out, lounging around, and managing to take up an entire couch with just two customers sitting on it. To add insult to injury, the food was only about as good as what we make at home. It was a terrible experience for both of us that we'd rather put behind us, but there was a small victory that came out of it.

     

    Several days later, long after confirming shop A as our new TYT meet up location, I was retelling the story of shop B to a friend that isn't particularly involved with the size acceptance movement. Contrary to his usual lack of interest in the subject, he was disgusted by what happened to us. Later in our conversation, he was discussing possibly going out to eat with me and Heidi. After making a few suggestions based on where he'd eaten before, he stopped himself and retracted his suggestions because he realized the places he had suggested were not size friendly and would not be accommodating for Heidi. In other words, someone who had never considered the special needs of extra large people was made aware of them and now takes them into consideration when planning.

     

    It's a small victory, but small victories like these are why I wanted to start writing this column in the first place. Hopefully, there have been many more small victories from my writing, and there will continue to be until, one person at a time, we manage to make the world a much friendlier place for all the wonderful, beautiful, and deserving fat people in it. For now, I'll take what victories I can.

     

     

     

     

     

     

    I was born in San Diego, California on August 30, 1972.
    Grew up in San Jose, San Francisco, and San Diego California. I Graduated from San Diego State University in 1996 with a Bachelors Degree in Journalism (Radio-TV News) and a Bachelors Degree in Political Science.

    I interned with U.S. Senator Dianne Feinstein from 1995-1996.

    I interned with CBS News during the 1996 Republican National Convention.

    Currently I'm a Licensed Sales Representative with Pacific Shores Real Estate, Inc. in Solana Beach, California

    I'm Co-Owner of Club Catalina BBW Night Club in San Diego, CA.

    And a newlywed, married to Kathy Edmondson as of December 31, 2012.

    I am the father of one daughter - Safiyah Edmondson (8) and stepfather to two young men, Alexander Hernandez (22) and John Rhakman Macklin (21).

    I enjoy bowling, basketball, tennis, football. I play 12 musical instruments. I also design a web page for a real estate company.
     

    A Man’s Most Attractive Feature

    with David Edmondson

    First, I would like to say that I’m pleased that the issue of Domestic Violence is finally getting the attention it deserves, not just in the NFL, but in society as well. While we would all like to point the finger at the actions of Ray Rice, there has emerged an even bigger culprit in this saga…….His name is Roger Goodell.  Granted, he was not the one whom knocked a woman unconscious in an elevator, only to drag her body to the floor but he has actively participated in a plan to divert focus and or cover up this incident. First, we were told that the NFL did not have access to the videotape despite asking law enforcement for access. This was hard enough to believe, but then Mr. Goodell, went on CBS This Morning, to state that Mr. Rice’s account of events, was not consistent, with what was on the videotape.  Only later do we find out that Mr. Goodell was less than truthful on both counts. I’m stating that we may not all be blessed with good looks, especially being larger in size, nor are we all wealthy, but neither of these things are the most attractive feature of a man. The most attractive feature is that of honesty and integrity.

     

    In watching Roger Goodell’s press conference the other day, I was reminded of a Corporate CEO and why no one likes them very much. Usually, when someone makes a mistake, the key is to be honest, humble and contrite. Yet, that was not displayed at that press conference. Instead, I saw all the arrogance that I guess comes with making $44 million dollars a year. The attitude seemed to be don’t blame me, I didn’t cause this issue, but we will fix it now. How many times in our lifetime have we dealt with a know-it all, whom has to have the last word on every subject, but when they are wrong, they are quick to blame everyone else, instead of simply owning up to their mistake? I can say that at times, I’ve been one of those people. Most people like to deal with someone who can take a hard and honest look at themselves and is accountable.  After all, when our looks fail, integrity and honesty is all we have left.

     

    How many people have we seen in the past, bragging about the car they have or the places they’ve been or even the money they have, all in efforts to try and impress people. Maybe you yourself fall into this category. Yet, when the truth is exposed, you are left standing by yourself. The rule is if you have to go through such lengths to impress someone, chances are that person is not worth impressing or that you may have a self-esteem issue. People are going to like you for being you and if they do not, you don’t need them in your life anyway.

     

    This is not to say looks or intelligence does not play a role in the type of people you attract, because they do. However, the type of quality people you have contact with will start and end with you. While you may not be in control of how much money you make, where you stay or the vehicle you drive; you are in control of your morals and being honest and straightforward. When you are able to get a handle on those issues, your life and the lives of those around you will benefit greatly.

     

     
     

    Freakie has been a member of the BBW community for over 20 years. She lives in Washington State with her two cats Boo Boo & Maxie, and has also resided in California and New York. Besides advocating for Big Beautiful Women she is a lifelong child advocate and is a strong believer in Size Acceptance (ALL sizes). She dreams of travelling the world and being an ambassador for the fat community. Her personal motto is, “FAT CHICKS RULE!”

     

    The Best of Intentions

    with Freakie
     

     

    We would get better results in our lives if we paid more attention to the people who lift us up rather than those who we perceive as having let us down.  If nobody is lifting us up then we need to pay attention to the people around us who need lifting up and focus on them.  It’s a cycle.  At some point it will get around to your turn and the more positive energy you put out there the more you get back.  Positive intention is a real and measurable thing.

     

    If you are focused on things like lack, frustration, want, anger, resentment, guilt, etc., then those things will continue to manifest in your life.  No matter what circumstances you face there is always a choice in how you persevere.  If you are in a rut, turn to someone who will help you without judging you.  We all fall down and sometimes we need help to get back up again.  Needing help is only bad when you refuse to admit you need help.

     

    Look for the Lifters in your life.  Who is your biggest cheerleader?  Who inspires you?  Who helps?  Who checks in?  Who prays for you?  Who listens?  Who encourages you?  Allow yourself to be lifted with the intention of paying it forward to someone else and becoming a part of the positive cycle.  Ask yourself who you do those things for.  Anyone?  If you are not sure then you might want to find someone to “adopt” and practice being a small light in their life.  Maybe they need company, maybe they need a ride to an appointment, or maybe they just need a phone call.

     

    This is what builds strong communities.  This is what makes us better neighbors, friends, coworkers, leaders, followers, and individuals.  This is the cycle we want to pass on to our children.

     

     

     

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