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LargeInCharge Magazine -  10 Year Anniversary!

 Issue#128 -November 2014

Welcome to LargeInCharge Magazine

In this Issue of L.I.C.

 

Raqui-ism

Words of Wisdom from the Heart & Mind of Raqui

 

The Big GB - Angie Bee

Getting my Life Back after Gastric Bypass

 

From the Desk of NAAFA

National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance

 

Foodie in You ~ Lucia Roth 

 

The Observer - Jness 

 

Curvy Styles - Amy Lucas 

 

The Skinny on Big Love - Jay Hansen 

 

Thinking Big - David Edmondson 

 

The Sacred Fat - Freakie

 

LargeInChargeDating - Dating for the Large People who are going to be in Charge of their Love Lives!

 

LargeInCharge Friends - The Place for Big People to make Friends and maybe MUCH MORE!

 

Catching up with BBW Artist
Ruben Esq!

 

LargeInCharge Featured People and Companies - Where are they now?

By: Raqui

 


Ruben Esq. - BBW Artist

 

In 2008 I finally got to find out more about an artist who I didnt know, but I knew his art.  I like many others had seen the images of Ruben Esq. BBW art.  They were shared on the internet, used by others on social networking pages.  Many had been edited and used a graphic images for various reasons. 

But who was this artist who captured such a sexy playful spirt to his artwork.  His love of the larger female form is easily scene and it is celebrated.  While every piece of work may not resemble every woman. I believe every woman can look at Ruben's pieces and see a piece of herself. 

The happiness, the joy, the freedom, the fun, the silly, the sexy, the giddy, the gracefulness and so much more is protrayed in these delightful expressions.

This month I would like to reintroduce you to Ruben Esq.  and his work.  I know you will be as intrigued as I was the first time I saw one of his pieces.

 ORGINAL INTERVIEW BELOW: Click the magazine cover to check it out.

Issue #49 - April 2008

SOME OF RUBEN'S WORK: More below

    

Check out Ruben Esq. at the Following Links:

https://www.facebook.com/rubenesq

Interview

LargeInCharge.com: What is your name?

Ruben Esq

LargeInCharge.com: Where are you from and what is your current Location?

I was born and grew up in New York City. I live in Los Angeles.

LargeInCharge.com:   When did you first appear in LargeInCharge Magazine?  NOTE: if you donít remember exact date and issue I can look that up for you.  Put Please Look Up as the answer.

Issue #49 - April 2008

LargeInCharge.com: Please tell us why you were featured?

I was featured for my art, which is a pin-up style, focused on large women.

LargeInCharge.com:  How did you feel when you appeared in LargeInCharge?

I was pleased to get the recognition and the positive reaction to my work. At the time I didnít expect to get any kind of media attention for my work, although in the early 90s I did some pin up work for a menís magazine and published three sketchbooks of my drawings. My publishing career ended after a few years and I went back to where I started: doing my pin up art for myself.

In the mid-90s (unknown to me at the time) sketches from my books were being posted onto the net. A lot were low-resolution scans from my sketchbooks, and a lot were bad copies or tracings of my drawings. When I became more active on the net, I discovered that my work was popular (I saw my drawings ďappropriatedĒ a lot), but my name was removed so no one knew who did the work. I decided I needed to be more active in social media to set people straight about who was responsible for the art they enjoyed. I started out on MySpace, eventually began a blog, and then moved on to Facebook where most of my online activity is right now.

LargeInCharge.com:  How do you feel now about being included in our special Decade editions?

Iím honored that my work made such an impression that I was invited to be featured again.

LargeInCharge.com: How has your life and endeavors changed since your appearance? 

Becoming more active in social media has gained me many fans that are engaged with my art and eager to see more.

LargeInCharge.com:  What changes have you made to advance your career/business?

I canít really call my Ruben Esq work a career or ďbusinessĒ yet. Itís still a side project that I do when my day job allows the time. My primary career, which I am still actively involved in, is working as an artist in the animation industry. Iíve been producing Ruben Esq art in varying amounts since 1989. Iíve started attending a few artist showcases. Mostly local comic conventions in the Los Angeles area, Iím also in the process of expanding my online store selling my art in various forms.

LargeInCharge.com: How long have you invested in your venture/career?

Since 1989.

 

LargeInCharge.com:  Tell us about some of the most exciting events/occasions, you/your business have held/participated in.

There hasnít been much public excitement for me. What I do is solitary work and I havenít had many opportunities for public showings. Displaying in Artist Alleys at comic conventions the last few years have been it. Iím looking into making appearances at Plus Size fashion events and gatherings.

LargeInCharge.com:  Have you been featured in any press, on tv, newspapers etc?

Iíve had a few features in small magazines over the years. I havenít sought media attention. LargeInCharge found me.

LargeInCharge.com: What changes have you seen for plus sized people since your first appearance?

Social media has made it easier for people to meet and talk with each other. The biggest improvement Iíve seen are big people feeling less isolated. More people have told me my art helps them feel better about themselves. Itís given me a sense that Iím doing something a little more valuable than making sexy, entertaining pictures. Thereís a lot of support thatís needed to be given for the self-images of big people, especially women. My work isnít political. My art isnít built to carry the weight of any kind of size acceptance movement. As Iíve recently come to realize, I donít share my work to change peopleís minds about how they should think. I share my work to show the people who think as I do that theyíre not alone.

LargeInCharge.com: Are there any changes you had to make for your venture/career flourish?

Yes, but I havenít made many of them yet. I need to produce more art on a regular basis and learn to market it more effectively.

LargeInCharge.com: What are some of the most important things you have learned through the years?

Not to let your spirit be crushed. We live in a culture that works daily to force everyone to submit to a narrow definition of attractiveness. It will destroy you if you let it. Donít let it. You donít benefit by accepting the disapproval of others, they do.

LargeInCharge.com: How is your standing in the Plus Sized Community among the people?  Good feedback, negative feedback, learning lessons?

What feedback I have gotten is extremely good. My work has been very well received and I look forward to creating more. So many women have told me that my art helps them feel more attractive that I believe that alone is a good reason for me to keep creating. It also may help others see the large people around them a little differently.

LargeInCharge.com: What would you say inspires you most in life?

The love of my family and friends, and being able to appreciate the art that other people make.

LargeInCharge.com:  Any new ventures/items/products you have planned for the future?

Iím working on having a new sketchbook published within a month. Iím also going to test how much response I get to other items I would like to offer like prints of my art, a series of t-shirts and possibly limited edition sculptures made from my designs.

LargeInCharge.com: What are your future goals?

Making a second career of Ruben Esq. I want to create more and reach more people with my art. The responses Iíve gotten are very gratifying, but I also feel something of a responsibility to create more art and do what I can to get my images and ideas to as many people as possible.

LargeInCharge.com: What advice would you give to other people of size who might be interested in doing something similar?

If youíre passionate about creating anything of value specifically for large people, donít let anyone discourage you. Many will try. There is a lot of peer pressure and resistance to force your way through.

LargeInCharge.com: Describe yourself/ your company/org with one word.

Right to this second, no ďone wordĒ description has occurred to me, so Iíll just skip this question.

 
 
 

Thank you for Reading The LargeInCharge Feature

 

 

Cover Model of the Month

in Memory of

Sarah McPhillips!

 

 

 

       
This Months Cover Model is especially one that tugs at my heart.  I knew Sarah Cobb McPhillips and met her a couple of times in my travels. She passed away from Cancer before she was featured as a cover model and before I got the chance to grow a deeper friendship with her.  I was able to reach out to her mother who  gave permission to include her in our special Cover Model of the Decade competition. 

Now we are going to share some words from her mother and send her our love and well wishes.


Sarah and her Mom LaVonne

"Sarah McPhillips was a wonderful, vibrant young woman.  She was very artistic and loved life.  Sarah loved to travel.  She loved to sing and loved to draw, especially nudes of women.

 

Sarah was a cosmetologist and truly enjoyed her work, seeing it as an art, and enjoyed talking with her customers.  She was very determined to educate young girls and boys about being bigger and being happy in your own skin.  Sarah was a little bit overweight as a child but put much of her weight on as a teen.  She had a problem with PCOS, which contributed to her weight gain.  However, she didn't let others opinions of her get her down. 

 

She had many many people make horrible comments to her about her weight but she'd just smile at them, wave, and say "Hi! How're you doing?".  Sarah made more than twenty YouTube videos, in regards to dating, make-up, and current social issues about bigger people.  She wasn't afraid to take it on, even though, at the time, she was battling cancer.

 

I was told by a friend of hers, from Canada, that Sarah had been there for her during her own cancer, even as Sarah fought hers.  She was very much loved by nearly everyone she met.  She told me that finding the BBW Bash in Las Vegas, saved her.  The people there were so wonderful and showed Sarah a different side to life.  It changed her forever.  And it changed us also. 

 

She went to bashes in Chicago, Florida, San Diego and enjoyed the acceptance and love she received.  Sarah was very dynamic and loved people, loved life and loved her family.   She would have been so thrilled to be part of LargeInCharge Magazine and was very happy that Raqui was even considering her.  She truly believed in being happy with yourself, regardless of what anyone else had to say. 

 

My daughter, Sarah Anne, passed away in July of 2011, from her cancer.  Thank you so much.

 

Her mother, LaVonne McPhillips."

Interview

 

  • First Appearance




    Issue #89 - August 2011
     
       

    Words from Raqui August 2011:  Click the cover aboe for her full Interview.

     

    I met Sarah Vegas Bash 2010 when we shared a cab from the airport to the Tuscany. Me and Sarah had that moment.  When youíre going to a big plus sized event and you happen to see another fatty near the area and you both look at each other with that look that says "Hey are you going to the Bash?"  She knew who I was but I didn't know her yet.

    I saw her again in Chicago 2010 Boo Bash.  We had already connected on face book and I found out she had Cancer and all the cool hair do's she had were wings.  I never saw her so beautiful than when a mutual friend of mine took a picture of her bald. I have watched her suffer with the effects of Cancer since then via facebook. The bruises from needles, being cut open in her chest to implant a port for chemo. As she said "it was supposed to go into her collarbone but her boobs were more accommodating."

    She shared herself openly and freely, I admired many things about her and seeing her artwork was something that I enjoyed.  She was funny, sweet and a downright spitfire at times.  Sarah was a friend to so many in the BBW Community, how could you not like this silly crazy girl who spoke her mind.

    Sarah has now joined the rest of our BBW and BHM community in Heaven. She didn't know it but I had planned on her being the October Cover Model for LargeInCharge.  When she submitted herself this year (2011) I was happy about it.  Since she has just passed I felt it was right to feature her now.  Sarah promised me I could rub her head this year at Vegas. We joked and laughed about it. I know she is in a better place, No More Pain No more Suffering. You will be missed, get things ready for when we join you.  - Raqui

    INTERVIEW: submitted by Sarah's Mom

    LargeInCharge.com: What is your name? 

     

    Syrenne/ Sarah Anne McPhillips (Cobb) (Cobb in previous issue.)

     

    LargeInCharge.com: Where are you from and what is your current Location?  

     

    Born in Heidelberg, Germany and lived in Nebraska since age 7. 

     

    LargeInCharge.com:   When did you first appear in LargeInCharge Magazine as a Model?  

     

    August of 2011.

     

    LargeInCharge.com: What made you decide to apply that first time?  

     

    She wanted to be part of a wonderful age of acceptance and awareness of size. 

     

    LargeInCharge.com:  How did you feel when you appeared as a LargeInCharge Cover Model?  

     

    She would have been so proud and thrilled.  I remember she talked to me after having met Raqui and that she was hoping to be in the magazine.  So excited.....

     

    LargeInCharge.com:  What changes do you see in Plus Sized Modeling? 

     

    She foresaw regular magazines and catalogs and tv using actual plus size modelsÖ not normal size women that they called plus size, Young people becoming more active in acceptance and pride.

     

    LargeInCharge.com: What changes do you see for Plus Sized People?  

     

    Sarah wanted younger girls, who are bigger, to be more accepting of their size and not let others put them down.  She believed if you wanted to lose some weight, go for it,  But if you didn't or couldn't, be comfortable in your own skin.  Know you're beautiful.  Know you're not alone.  Her videos were about these things.  Many girls commented to her about how she made a difference to them.  How it helped them feel not so alone or to feel more empowered.  She was all about empowering girls and guys to stand up and be proud.

     

    LargeInCharge.com: What would you say inspires you most in life? 

     

     Sarah said, in her was her art was a big inspiration and form of expression. 

     

    LargeInCharge.com: What advice would you give to other people of size who want to model? 

     

    Go for it.  It can change your life and how you view yourself and others. 

     

    LargeInCharge.com: Describe yourself with one word.

     

    Dynamic!  

     

  •  


  •  

    Thanks for reading about our

    Cover Model of the Month

     

     

         Raqui the Owner and Founder of LargeInCharge.com, Raqui's  "Tell it like it is" style of writing has brought thousands to her blogs and millions to LargeInCharge.com.  There is so much behind the woman who has brought this magazine into existence.  Being Internationally known as a wrestler/squasher lead the way to modeling for companies and being featured in magazines and documentaries from all over the world.  She has made a career out of her size and personality. Born and Raised in the Bronx NYC. This city girl is taking the world by storm.

     

         For almost a decade Raqui officially moved into Size Acceptance and Empowerment.  With the creation of LargeInCharge she took what she said to individuals to a higher level and made it public to the internet world. She is a woman who doesn't let things get to her.  Knock her down for the moment but she will rise up stronger and better.  Being a speaker on behalf of many subjects and counseling Plus Sized people online her grace and style has made people love her.  Raqui continues to set an example of a powerful woman who will bend the world to fit her, her way.

     

         Raqui's appearances include, Uk Television, German TV, Japan, Europe, Sweden and the Spanish circuit.  Her many magazines appearances have been world wide.  She has hit American Television in 2006 with Good Morning American and since has appeared on The Cristina Show,  The Maury Show and The Tyra Banks Show.

    To view her Online portfolio visit www.Raqui.com

    Raqui's Blog titled Raqui-ism "Soulfully Speaking! - http://raqui-ism.blogspot.com/

    go to www.Raqui.com Portfolio Section

     

    Raqui-ism - Make 2014 a Inspirational Year

    Written By: Raqui

     

     

     

     

    Inspiration

    In this world we live in, it can be hard at times to see anything but the horror and insanity around us.  News Reports, Crime Shows, Newspapers, Online Sites and blogs are way more interested in what is sensational and wrong with this world, without focusing on what is good in this world.  So this year I dedicate my column to all that is inspirational, positive and helpful.  

     

    Be a Motivator

    Disabled... it is a word that is used for many reasons.  In general to be disabled is to have a physical/mental ailment that makes living life more difficult.  Whether it is a physical problem or a mental one.  To be disabled is often a blessing and a curse.  It means that you have to say, it is harder to get around, keep a job, live in general.  All your really saying is you need a little help from time to time, but often people want to look down on your for being disabled. 

     

    I dont think disabled is a proper word, I like to say diffirently abled.  You may being missing an arm or leg, you may be blind or cant speak, you may have more weight on you or have a mentel ailment that prevents you from being able to communicate, deal with others and making a living and holding down a job almost impossible. Still that doesnt make you a person who is unable, it means you need some help/accomidation, or certain things are not your strong point.  Still that isnt disabled, everyone has their strong points when they realize they are worthy, loved, special just as they are, and ABLE to make a diffrence, to have a purpose in life

     

    That is why this month I wanted to bring to you a series of videos from a man I truly admire.  His name Nick Vujicic, the man with no arms and no legs. Nicholas James Vujicic (born on 4 December 1982) is a preacher and motivational speaker -- born with Tetra-amelia syndrome, a rare disorder characterized by the absence of all four limbs. He struggled as a child, eventually came to terms with his disability and started his own non-profit organization Life without Limbs at age seventeen. Vujicic presents motivational speeches worldwide, on life with a disability, hope, and finding meaning in life.

     You can read more about his here - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nick_Vujicic

    He found his purpose through his belief system and by not allowing him self to stay down.  He motivated himself and found inspiration through his belief in a higher power.  He encourages others to do the same to find their, purose their inspiration.  His work with school children is very impressive and that is why I featured him in LargeInCharge some years ago when I found out about him.  He is a LargeInCharge person who doesnt see himself as disable but diffrently abled.  He thought he would never have a life, no arms, no legs, how will he work, how will he live, thinking who would love him, how can he have a wife, how can he take care of a wife when he cant even hold her hand.  Then he realized his real worth and has gone on to change so many other people and make them realize they are worthy as well.

    So today will you think about what motivates you?  What keeps you from being all you can be?  What has killed your joy and are you going to fight to get it back? I will close this article with a few words from Nick.

    ďIf I fail, I try again, and again, and again. If YOU fail, are you going to try again? The human spirit can handle much worse than we realize. It matters HOW you are going to FINISH. Are you going to finish strong?Ē    ― Nick Vujicic

    Check out Nick's YouTube Channel - http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJCFruKJrDxmI26fIhFEMMQ

     

    Nick Vujicic - "Something More" - Music Video

    Nick Vujicic - "No Arms... No Legs... No worrites." - Speaking to School children

    Nick Vujicic - "Overcoming Hopelessness" - at the TEDx Talks

    Nick Vujicic - The story of Nick and his beautiful Wife Kanae Miyahara

     

    Nick Vujicic - Nick and his son Kiyoshi play together

     

     

    Raqui


     
     
     

    LargeInCharge Radio - Weekly Radio show discussing Plus Sized Issues.  Friday's 9-11 pm EST - Call in & Chat in our Chat Room.

     

    Thank you for Reading Raqui-ism

    Please send thoughts and comments to

    articles@largeincharge.com

     
     

       

    Angie BEE grew-up a standard-sized young woman, educated in communications, promotions and planning.  She became a wife, mother and ministry support member while building businesses and her faith.

    Through stress, age and a poor diet and while suffering from major depression and attempted suicide, Angie BEE's weight climbed from 180 pounds to 360 pounds.  She was diagnosed with high blood pressure, diabetes, obstructive sleep apnea, an overactive bladder and poor leg circulation.  At the age of 40 an anxiety attack and the decline in her mental health forced her to stop work and look at improving her declining health.  It was during this time that Angie BEE became inspired by her younger sister Sonya Bennett during her process towards Gastric Bypass Surgery.  Sonya launched this column and will return occasionally to contribute to it, but now that she is three years-post surgery... her life is focused on something new!

    Now, celebrating her first year of a new life since having the procedure herself, Angie BEE is healthier than she has been in over a decade.  Losing the first 100 pounds was just the bonus!  She is now diabetes-free.  She has normal blood pressure.  The circulation in her legs is normal.  She sleeps without a c-pap machine and more!  The joy that she feels is documented each day in her syndicated radio show, a brand new weekly  TV show documentary and each month in this article.  The Big GB stands for The BIG Gastric Bypass and it also stands for "Getting (my life) Back".  This article reflects how Angie BEE's life has improved... by the grace of God and as the result of having Gastric Bypass surgery on Feb 28, 2011.  This is now her life!

     

    What Month Is This?

    with Angie Bee

     

    October was filled with Breast Cancer Pink Ribbon Walks and Purple Ribbon Domestic Violence Awareness events.  Communities rallied around people that were afflicted and abused.  People raised money and shared their survival stories while others wrote checks, solicited others for donations and even spoke to politicians.  You saw the large and the small, the "white and the colored" (as my Bigmama used to say) and you saw men and women that had been impacted by both, and your heart broke just a little bit for them

     

    Well, what month is this?  This is November: National "Eat All The Turkey That I Can" Month.  A month of family gathering around food, A month where gluttony is appreciated and anticipated, A month where competitions surround pie- baking, cake-eating and diabetic comas running amok. A month where it doesn't matter if the baby of the family is a little chunky; he's gonna be a football player someday, so let him eat more!  A month where more insulin in injected to offset the additional carb and sugar intake and a month were diets fly out the window.  What month SHOULD this be?  November should be the "I'm Taking Care Of Me" month.

     

    Think about it: last month, you brought awareness and took care of others.  Next month it will be all about the gift list and how much to spend on whom, by the time January rolls around and the weight loss commercials begin airing, you will be too broke and disgusted to do anything about it, so why not make November the month to begin taking care of yourself?  Think about it!  If on this day you dedicate to love on yourself in a few ways, how much more peaceful and pleasant will your upcoming holidays be?

    First:  Spend 30 minutes a day sitting still and meditating/praying with meditation music playing in the background.  Turn the TV off, turn the ringer off on your phone.  Just spend 30 minutes a day being with you: the one that you love!

     

     

    Second:  Spend one hour each week reflecting on your accomplishments and your goals.  Write down where you have been and what you have done and make a plan for where you want to be.  Don't just let the car stock reduction commercials make you decide to buy a new car; check out your pre-approval finance options this month, and shop stress-free next month!

     

    Third:  Make an appointment with your doctor this month and get a full blood-work check-up!  I had mine and my A1C is beautiful, my cholesterol is beautiful, my iron and blood pressure are beautiful so that makes ME beautiful!  You should have seen the smile on my face when I strutted out of the doctors office knowing that my insides were healthy.  (The next day, I caught a cold... but oh well... I'm healthy and beautiful inside... lol).

     

    Fourth:  Make an appointment with your mental health counselor or your Pastor just for a mental health checkup.  Many people deal with depression and attempted suicide this time of year.  Let's make November a "Mental Health Check Up" month and start therapy, continue therapy, start a new prescription or wean off a prescription.  I started my new anti-depressant last month and I feel much stronger about facing the stress of the holidays this month!

     

    Fifth:  Set a financial budget for where you are and where you want to be next year.  I know, some of us are really broke and the thought of saving is a stressful option but how are you ever going to buy that house or go on that vacation or buy a new phone or pay for tuition if you keep waiting on that Income Tax Refund Check?  You can put away a little each time you get paid!  Now, I only get paid once a month, so with this option I am preaching to myself as well.  If you tithe 10% to the church each paycheck, try tithing 10% to your savings account.  I know... I know... but look at how much you could save in just 6 months if you do that?  WOW!

     

    I know that this may not seem like your usual article from me.  My column is entitled "Getting My Life Back After Gastric Bypass" and this morning I have to say that this article is exactly along that theme:  I AM getting my life back after three years of losing weight and regaining my health from having had the surgery.  The Type II Diabetes and high blood pressure are now gone, the overactive bladder is gone, the Diabetic Nerve Pain and Obstructive Sleep Apnea are now all gone so now it's time to get other things in order.  I am in weekly counseling with a therapist and have started medication to manage the depression and PTSD symptoms, I am working with my husband on getting finances, investments, savings and spending in a budget, I am meditating at 8 am each morning and setting goals for myself and our ministry.  I continue to take my daily nutritional supplements prescribed by my gastric bypass surgeon and I still exercise with my TV partner from 1:00 - 1:30 with www.BeverlyExercise.com (I figure that if THAT little old lady can exercise the way that she does, I should be able to do it too!)

     

    Sometimes, getting your life back means more than just diet, exercise and loving yourself and the curves you are in.  My scale still tips as 208 and some of my dresses are a 12, other dresses are a 14; I'm ok with that!  Sometimes getting your life back means giving your life over to someone that will love you and guide you and give you peace and forgiveness for all that you have done to yourself in the past.  You donít have to clean yourself up to come to this understanding; you can come as you are.  Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is waiting for you to give your life to Him.  I ask Him what I should wear and what I should say and which lipstick looks good on me.  Those are the simple things but what do YOU ask Him for?  Do you ask him to save you from Breast Cancer or that last domestic beating or rape?  Those are the simplest things in the world for Christ to save you from... all you need to do is ask Him!

     

    Let's make this month "I'm Taking Care of Me" month.  Check your body, your mind, your finances and your salvation this month and together we will still be large and in charge next month.

     

    If it is the Lord's Will...

     

    I will see you next month.

     

     

     

     

    Angie BEE

    www.daqueenbee.com

    Author, Magazine Publisher, Producer, Promoter &

    The Host of The Hottest Home Hotspot WORLDWIDE

    Syndicated Holy Hip Hop Radio Show

    Last Week I wanted to Die!

    NOW AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE!


     

       
     

    Thanks for reading

    The Big GB - Getting My Life back after Gastric Bypass

    with Angie Bee


         Founded in 1969, NAAFA is a non-profit civil rights organization dedicated to improving the quality of life for fat people. NAAFA works to eliminate discrimination based on body size and provide fat people with the tools for self-empowerment through public education, advocacy, and member support.

     

         This Column is dedicated to the tremendous work NAAFA has been doing for over four decades.  LargeInCharge wishes to support NAAFA in spreading the word of its work, and give the public more information into issues we as plus sized people should be aware of.  The fight for equality for people of all sizes is one we support.

        

         This Column will include News Releases and Calls to Action from NAAFA Directors.

     

    This Column has been Approved by NAAFA.org

     

    Wolves in Sheep's Clothing

    from: NAAFA.org

     

     

    A special communication* that was published in the April, 2014 issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) was severely criticized by two so-called obesity advocacy organizations, the Obesity Society and the Obesity Action Coalition. Why was it criticized? Because the original writers believe that obesity is NOT a disease and that two diet drugs currently being reviewed by the Federal Drug Administration (FDA) should not be marketed without more convincing evidence about the cardiovascular safety of the medication.

     

    Alright, letís get this straight. Two organizations that are supposed to represent the best interests of people of larger body sizes want fat people to be medicalized and want to allow pharmaceutical companies to release drugs that may:

    1. Have only up to a 7% success rate
    2. have cardiovascular risks

     

    Definitions

    Advocate: a person who actively supports or favors a cause

    Lobbyist: a person who attempts to influence decisions made by officials in the government, most often legislators or members of regulatory agencies

     

    If you research the source of funding for the two dissenting organizations, the Obesity Society and the Obesity Action Coalition, it becomes apparent that they are the best advocates that money can buy for the diet industry, drug manufacturers and bariatric surgeons.  

     

    Furthermore, these are the organizations that are being enlisted by federal agencies to represent the interests of people with larger body sizes as stake holders. Do these organizations represent the people or those that would profit from them?  These organizations do not represent the best interest of people of large body size.

     

    These organizations went so far as to run a story with the headline, "Nothing about us, without us," the rallying call of the disability rights movement, and proudly pointed to the fact that two people who had sought weight loss had told their stories at their meeting.

    The cynical cooptation of language that activists have used to fight stigma ("people first" language, and "nothing about us without us") by organizations whose agenda is to smooth the way for corporate profits is disgraceful.  The "War on Obesity" is a war on obese people, and the spoils are more bodies to widen markets.  If people want to support the health of higher-weight people, the first step is to work closely with members of the community to understand our lives and needs. NAAFA and ASDAH stand ready to educate and advocate.

    *The New Weight-Loss Drugs, Lorcaserin and Phentermine-Topiramate Slim Pickings?, Woloshin and Schwartz, April 2014 JAMA

     

     

     

     

    Founded in 1969, NAAFA is a non-profit human rights organization dedicated to improving the quality of life for fat people. NAAFA works to eliminate discrimination based on body size and provide fat people with the tools for self-empowerment through public education, advocacy, and member support.

     

     
     
     

     

    Thanks for reading

    From the Desk of NAAFA

    Link

    www.NAAFA.org

        

    Some of you make know me as web girl/Lulu from Fashion Find. WellÖ Iíve move on to another one of my favoriteís pastime which is cooking. To get you all up to date on whatís going on. Iím currently pursuing a graduate degree at Ashford University I have a B.A. degree in Organizational Communication from Southeastern Louisiana University.

     

    I am most passionate about cooking. I believe with cooking you can always growÖ I fried my first egg when I was 2 and baked my first cake at 5. Cooking is an easy and dynamic experience if you have a passion for a good tasting meal.

     

    Motto: Cook with your heart not with your head.

     

    If you have a favorite dish you would like to share please forward with recipe and photo to

    Web_girl1999@yahoo.com

     

     

     
    Happiness Kitchen
    with Lucia Roth
     

    Itís Thanksgiving!

    In a few weeks, Americans will celebrate Thanksgiving Day. Yet for many of us, the actual holiday is so full of activity that we have little time for intentional, extended giving of thanks to God. So, as has been my familiesí tradition for many years, as well as grating a rounding the table and enjoying each otherís company. My family looks for any excuse to get together and Thanksgiving is the perfect excuse. With that being said, one of my church members Mr. Anderson makes this mouthwatering dishÖ Corn Pudding, STOP!  Itís not a dessert but a delicious side.

    When you think of Thanksgiving, what images come to mind? Roast turkey? Pumpkin Pie? Watching football with your family? Perhaps the Macyís Thanksgiving Day Parade? I think of family, fun, and enjoyable meal. So with that being said, try this Corn Pudding with White Cheddar and Thyme. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

       






    Corn Puddling with White Chedder & Thyme

    1. 4 tablespoons unsalted butter, plus more for greasing
    2. 1 onion, finely chopped
    3. 2 teaspoons minced thyme
    4. 4 cups frozen corn kernels (about 20 ounces), thawed
    5. 1/2 cup stone-ground cornmeal
    6. Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper
    7. 5 large eggs
    8. 3 cups half-and-half
    9. 1 cup shredded sharp white cheddar cheese

     

    1. Preheat the oven to 350į. Butter a 9-by-13-inch shallow ceramic baking dish. In a large skillet, melt the butter. Add the onion and thyme and cook over moderate heat until the onion is softened, about 8 minutes. Remove from the heat. Add the corn and cornmeal and toss to combine. Season with salt and pepper and let cool.
    2. In a large bowl, whisk the eggs with the half-and-half. In a blender or food processor, combine 1 cup of the custard with 1 cup of the corn mixture and puree until smooth. Whisk the puree into the custard. Then stir in the corn mixture, cheese, 2 teaspoons of salt and 1/2 teaspoon of pepper until well blended.
    3. Spread the mixture in the prepared baking dish and bake for about 40 minutes, until the pudding is slightly puffed and just starting to brown. Let stand for 10 minutes before serving.

     

    Make Ahead The pudding can be prepared through Step 2 and refrigerated overnight. Bring to room temperature before proceeding.



    Bon Appetite!

     
       
     

     

     

    Celebrating almost two decades as a Graphic Designer/Published Illustrator, Jean Nerestant Jr (Jness) got his start as a graphic artist in 1994, Still working as a graphic designer by day/ Jness devotes time to his hip hop Culture, comic book art and Plus size/BBW Art.

     

     

    Plus Sized Health Movement

    with Jness

     

     As time flies by I turn my focus to the topic of health. I have often started an exercise regiment in the past just to eventually get off track. The latest break between exercise commitments has run way too long. Biking has been my favorite form of physical fitness because it is practical and enables me to getaway and take time to myself. Peace of mind has to come with the good health package. I have noticed a recent increase in plus size people doing Yoga on Instagram. This new leg of plus size health inspired me to do the artwork featured this month. I will create more pieces along this look and feel in the near future to celebrate this new health option. I think I will invest in a mat and get some Yoga lessons, the new year is approaching and I want to start the new year right.

     

    Hope you like this monthís illustration. Share your thoughts with me by sending your e-mails to jness4bbws@gmail.com. Iím looking forward to hearing from you.

    Jean JNESS Nerestant
    Large In Charge Magazine

     

     

     

    Hello there all my fashion loving friends. My name is Amy Lucas and in this column I hope to bring you some new outfits that will make you feel great and be Large and In Charge. My whole life has not been devoted to fashion as my background is in teaching Spanish, Math, and Science. I also have a masterís degree in Central Office Administration.

     

    With that said, I have been wearing plus sizes for as long as I can remember so I do know the struggles we all face to find cute clothes. I come from a smaller town in Michigan, which means I have an even harder time finding plus size clothing in my area since the choices are so limited; as well as, the sizes and styles each store carries. 

     

    Out of necessity, I started looking online instead of just settling for the places here and have found that other women could use the help too. I run a fashion group on Facebook called BBW Fashion where I post something fabulous each day hoping to help all those to find what they want in their size.

     

    In my career, I've helped plus size students and their parents to find fashion in their sizes that would help them with their self-esteem and make them feel good about themselves. I have also dabbled in fashion before this modeling for three different stores, winning a cover model spot in July of 2012 in Large in Charge magazine, and I was Ms. LBC 2008 for Linda's Big Connections in Chicago. I look forward to showing you what is available in plus size fashion and help you to look even more beautiful and chic.

     

     

     
    19 Hot Halloween Looks
    with Amy Lucas
     

    Halloween is that time of year where you want to find that perfect costume to wear on Halloween or to the numerous BBW parties going on. There are many options out there but I have put together twenty looks for you to masquerade in. If you find that any costumes or accessories are sold out make sure to check other costume sites as many of these are offered on other sites as well.

     

    19 Hot Halloween Looks  
    Number 1.  

    Dark Angel Accessory Set,

    $14.95, www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Basic Black Satin Corset,

    sizes 1x-6x, $42.95,

    www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Super Soft Tulle Long Petticoat,

    sizes 1/2x -5/6x, $59.95,

    www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Villain Glitter Eye Art Kit,

    $28.81, www.amazon.com

     

    Womenís Bettie Page Regan Pump in black,

    sizes 5-11, $69.95, www.onestopplus.com

    Number 2.  

    Flirty Flight Attendant Costume Dress,

    sizes 1/2x- 3/4x, $45, www.torrid.com

     

    Red Wing Bracelet from

    the Skadi Jewelry store, $22.40, www.etsy.com

     

    RSVP Spencer Peep Toe Pump in red patent,  available in medium and wide widths

    in sizes 6-12, $69.00, www.zappos.com

    Number 3.  

    Day of the Dead Senorita Costume, sizes 1-3x, $69.99, www.spirithalloween.com

     

    Dotted Sugar Skull Earrings, $4.99, www.spirithalloween.com

     

    QueenFashion Shiny Pumps with Flowers Floriation, sizes 5-8.5, $19.99, www.amazon.com

     

    Day of the Dead Red Bag of Tattoos, $5.99, www.spirithalloween.com

     

    Rose Headband, $9.99, www.spirithalloween.com

    Number 4.  

    Sequin Corset in black, sizes 1x-6x, $69.95, www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Long Stretch Taffeta Skirt in black, sizes 1x-5x, $89.95, www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Jeweled Coin Belt, $39.95, www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Jeweled Headband, $34.95, www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Temporary Eye Tattoo Eye shadow Eyeliner Stickers, $1.80, www.amazon.com

     

    Gold Glitterati Lip Applique, $10, www.amazon.com

     

    Metallic Strap Platform Heels, sizes 7-13 in wide width, $46.50, www.torrid.com

    Number 5.  

    Plus Size Cavewoman Costume Deluxe Kit comes in black or brown, sizes L-9x, $74.98 with accessories, www.sanctuarie-net.stotres.yahoo.net

     

    Cheetah Eye Pastie Makeup by Xoticeyes, $11.99, www.amazon.com

     

    Animal Print Furry Leg Warmers, $22.99, www.halloweencostumes.com

     

    Bamboo Lois-01 Leopard Lug Sole Sandals, sizes 7-10, $18, www.makemechic.com

    Number 6.  

    Racketeering Pirate Costume, sizes 1x-12x, $95, www.biggalslingerie.com

     

    Fence Net Pantyhose, queen size (1-3x), $14.00, www.biggalslingerie.com

     

    Hooked Eye Kit, $24.99, www.spirithalloween.com

     

    Pirate Cutlass, $5.99, www.halloweencostumes.com

     

    Secret Wishes Pirate Lass Boots, sizes S-L, $30.37, www.amazon.com

    Number 7.  

    Sexy Playboy Bunny Halloween Costume Kit available in white or black, sizes L-9x, $59.99, www.sanctuarie-net.stores.yahoo.net

     

    Tuxedo Bunny Costume Shoe, sizes 6-12, $53.99, www.amazon.com

     

    Tux Kit (includes cuffs and bowtie), $8.99, www.halloweencostumes.com

     

    Black and Silver Glitter Eyelashes, $6.99, www.halloweencostumes.com

    Number 8.  

    Gangster Mobster Costume, sizes 1x-12x, $109, www.biggalslingerie.com

     

    Ellie Shoes E-550 Pinstripe Pump, sizes 5-10, $65.30, www.amazon.com

     

    Black Brass Knuckle Necklace, $6.33, www.amazon.com

     

    Hip Hop Platinum Silver Plated Removable Mouth Grillz Set Iced Out, $19.99, www.amazon.com

     

    Forum Novelties Roaring 20ís Gangster Girl Garter and Flask, $9.21, www.amazon.com

    Number 9.  

    Medieval Warrior Maiden Adult Plus Size Costume, sizes 1/2x-3/4x, $69.99, www.spirithalloween.com

     

    Spartan Combat Shield and Sword, $14.99, www.buycostumes.com

     

    Breckelleís Solo-11 Lace Up Gladiator Sandals in chestnut, sizes 6-11, $28.73, www.makemechic.com

    Number 10.  


    Medieval Warrior Maiden Adult Plus Size Costume, sizes 1/2x-3/4x, $69.99, www.spirithalloween.com

     

    Spartan Combat Shield and Sword, $14.99, www.buycostumes.com

     

    Breckelleís Solo-11 Lace Up Gladiator Sandals in chestnut, sizes 6-11, $28.73, www.makemechic.com

    Number 11.  

    Pinup Devil Costume, sizes 1x-12x, $99, www.biggalslingerie.com

     

    Ruffled Two Layer Petticoat in black, sizes 1x-3x and 4-6x, $24.95, www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Demona Devil Wig with Horns, $29.99, www.spirithalloween.com

     

    Demonic Glitter Eye Art Kit, $18.99, www.amazon.com

     

    Red Vampire Eye Contact Lens, $48.99, www.halloweencostumes.com

     

    J. Renee Marva Pump, sizes 5-13 in all widths, $87.95, www.shoebuy.com

    Number 12.  

    Sexy Corset Style Snow White Costume, sizes 1x-12x, $89, www.biggalslingerie.com

     

    Twisted Fairytale Black Wig, $24.99, www.partycity.com

     

    Madden Girl Getta in blue micro, sizes 5-11 in medium and wide widths, $39.95, www.zappos.com

     

    Red Bow Eyelashes, $5.99, www.spirithalloween.com

    Number 13.  

    Plus Size Football Fantasy Costume, sizes 1x-4x, $78.95, www.yandy.com

     

    Grip Rite Junior Football, $8.99, www.halloweencostumes.com

     

    Over the Knee Stay-Up Stockings in black, sizes 1/2x-5/6x, $12.95, www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Eye Black Stickers, $5.99, www.halloweencostumes.com

     

    Canvas Fashion High Heel Platform Lace Up Ankle Bootie MANIAC 10 in black by Stylique, sizes 7-11, $59.99, www.amazon.com

    Number 14.  


    Collar and Tie Set (2pack), $12.95, www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Schoolgirl Plaid Corset with Lace Trim, sizes XL-6x, $49.95, www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Over the Knee Stockings in black, $9.95, www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Ruffled Two Layer Petticoat in black, sizes 1-3x or 4-6x, $24.95, www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Red Crystal Eyelashes by Forum Novelties, $9.99, www.onestoplus.com

     

    Womenís Ellie Bridget PH609 Stiletto, sizes 5-11, $39.95, www.onestopplus.com

     

    Extra Credit Adult School Girl Kit comes with hair bows, glasses, and ruler paddle, $24.99, www.spirithalloween.com

    Number 15.  

    La Sirena Luxe Steel Boned Corset in black, sizes 28-44, $149.95, www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Mermaid Metallic Trumpet Tulle Skirt, sizes 1x-6x , $84.95, www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Crimson Red Goddess Wig, $39.95, www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    Azure Eyes, $29.95, www.xoticeyes.com

     

    Starfish Hair Pins from the Seashell Collection store, $16, www.etsy.com

     

    Seaweed Boa, $8.99, www.halloweencostumes.com

     

    The Ariel-Mermaids Engagement Ring on a Shell with Pearls from the Pocket Full of Shellz store, $31.86, www.etsy.com

    Number 16.  

    Vamp Doll Dress, sizes 14-28, $49.95, www.dominodollhouse.com

     

    Womenís Bettie Page Caroline Pump in red, sizes 5-11, $63.95, www.onestopplus.com

     

    Vampire Blood Drop Jewels, $2.99, www.spirithalloween.com

     

    Blood Drip Mini Top Hat, $9.99, www.halloweencostumes.com

     

    Small Blood Tip Vampire Fangs, $19.99, www.halloweencostumes.com

     

    Vampire Purse, $9.99, www.halloweencostumes.com

    Number 17.  

    Plus Size Crazy Mad Hatter Costume, sizes 1/2x-3/4x, $69.95, www.yandy.com

     

    Satin Opera Gloves in black, $11.95, www.yandy.com

     

    Plus Size Fishnet Crotchless Panties, one size, $5.95, www.yandy.com

     

    Fever Eyelashes Feather, $5.38, www.amazon.com

     

    Studded Strappy Booties, sizes 7-13 in wide width, $49.50, www.torrid.com

    Number 18.  

    Catwoman mask, Gloves, and Nails Blister Kit from Rubies Costume Co., $17.99, www.onestopplus.com

     

    ASOS CURVE Exclusive Bodyfit Jumpsuit with Mesh Sweetheart, sizes 14-24, $53.32, www.us.asos.com

     

    Mariella Leather Ankle Boot, sizes 7-12 in wide width, $149, www.lanebryant.com

    Number 19.  

    Sexy Panda Bear Costume, sizes 1/2x -3/4x, $51.95, www.yandy.com

     

    Ruffled Two Layer Petticoat in black, sizes 1-3x and 4-6x, $24.95, www.hipsandcurves.com

     

    School Yard Babe Patent Mary Jane Heel in black patent, sizes 6-14, $37.95, www.yandy.com

     
     

    Jay Hansen and Heidi Davis are size-acceptance advocates from Oklahoma and co-own Oklahoma's only social size-acceptance group, Oklahoma BBW, BHM, and their Admirers. Heidi was born in 1969 and has been a large woman her whole life, just as Jay has been an admirer of such plus-sized women all of his.

     

    Heidi graduated High School in 1987, which is the same year Jay was born. The two met online in 2005 and quickly developed a friendship. In 2009, Jay graduated the University of Central Oklahoma with a Bachelorís in English Education, and the following year he and Heidi started dating and quickly fell deeply in love.

     

    Heidi is experienced, blunt, pragmatic, down-to-earth, and strong in every sense of the word, while Jay is intellectual, articulate, ideological, contemplative, and gentle. Heidi is eighteen years Jay's senior and nearly three times his weight, while Jay is 140 pounds soaking wet with a brick in his pocket. He's a king amongst nerds and all things geeky; she's a tattooed, rough-and-tumble, hard rocker to her core. Together, they are a beautiful personification of the old adage opposites attract.

     

    "The Skinny on Big Love with Jay Hansen" was started in 2013 with Jay as the primary writer and Heidi as his muse and endless source of ideas and inspiration. Together, the two hope to provide people with a new frame of mind on love and relationships, promote open-mindedness and acceptance, ask intriguing questions, foster conversations, and prove to the world that titles such as weight and age, amongst countless others, should never stand in the way of one's pursuit of happiness.


     
    The Necessity of Give and Take
    with Jay Hansen
     

    When I first set out to write this column in late 2012, I wanted it to be about how a relationship with two people of vastly different sizes help take care of one another in a world that makes uncalled for, nonsensical judgments about larger people. Itís because of this lens through which I write about and you see our relationship that it is almost entirely about tending to Heidiís special needs as a woman of size. For once, Iíd like to turn that lens around and write about one of the many ways Heidi actually takes care of me and my special needs.

     

    The phrase ďspecial needsĒ is all too often being used as a synonym for ďdisabledĒ these days. In reality, each and every one of us have some sort of special needs, and a vast majority of them have no connection to a "disability" in the traditional meaning of the word. It does so happen that many of Heidiís special needs could be considered disabilities, but certainly not all of them. Despite her invincible, woman-of-diamond strength and general confidence (I say diamond instead of steel because diamonds are both stronger and prettier than steel) that I deeply admire, respect, and love, Heidi is still a woman of size in a discriminatory world and does have moments of self-consciousness and a deeply-seeded paranoia. These psychological traits are among her special needs that fall well outside of a "disability." My own special needs are cut from a similar cloth; they tend to be much more about my mentality than physicality. Chiefly among these needs of mine are that I am an introvert.

     

     

    There are many stereotypes about introverts out there, and I don't want to dwell too long on busting them or explaining what an introvert is, but here's a very brief abstract. Extroverts, the opposite of introverts, are people who gain energy through social interaction. Introverts spend energy through social interaction. On that alone I've already busted one of the most common myths about introverts; that they're non-social, anti-social, shy, have some sort of social anxiety disorder, or just don't enjoy being social. As I wrote about last year after the Well Rounded Vegas Bash of 2013, since introverts spend energy through social interaction, we choose when and where to spend it wisely and only do on worthwhile socializing. I'm not much of a small talker because small talk is often shallow, but at the same time it's not exactly common to dive straight into meaningful conversation with an absolute stranger either. This can make meeting new people a challenge.

     

    I don't have many people I consider close friends, and I like it that way. Those that are among my close friends are extremely close and important to me, and when I want to "hang out" with them we don't feel the need to go to a movie or out to eat. Quite often, I just invite a friend over and we just sit and talk for hours and hours. So contrary to popular belief, introverts can find great joy in socializing, but it has to be on their terms, with meaning, not forced, and in an environment where they feel safe to be themselves.

     

    That is where Heidi's care and understanding comes in.

     

     

    Heidi understands that socializing is extremely physically tolling on me. I feel exhausted after just having half a dozen of her friends over to the house. She doesn't force me to chat or make friends with people I don't know. She even lets me excuse myself if I just become "socialed out" and have to recharge with some "me" time, of which she gives me plenty whenever I need it to write, work on a personal project, or just be alone with my thoughts, even if she desperately wants my attention or she has company over. I'm thankful for Heidi's understanding on this need of mine instead of her thinking me rude or annoyed by her friends; I can only hope they are equally understanding.

     

    The only exception to times like these are party dates for our Oklahoma BBW group. I'm usually well-rested and excited for them when they come, but it's the micro-interactions that take place during the evening that can stress me out. I'm generally capable of interacting with people I already know to a healthy degree, but approaching someone new to initiate socializing is still difficult for me as an introvert and can cause significant anxiety. Heidi is with me as much as possible when meeting new people, but she can't all the time because of her limited mobility. In these rare moments our special needs somewhat collide, because someone has to greet new people and take photos of our events. Even though it's difficult for me, I step up in these times because for me it just means a few seconds of heart-exploding anxiety to walk up to someone, start a conversation, take a picture, and walk away. For Heidi it means significantly more stress on her knees, legs, feet, and back, which can cause permanent damage. It may not seem like much at the time, but going and taking pictures for her, getting her a drink from the kitchen, fetching something from her purse three rooms over, and so on, all mean one less time she has to get up, and all the less stress her body has to endure. Then again, it may also not seem like much to give your partner needed alone time, not force them to hang out with your friends, or respect their very human need for privacy. This give-and-take is necessary for any relationship, and in it we address each other's special needs.

     

    Heidi takes care of all my needs, as I do hers, and introversion is just a single example of mine. I still don't have my driver's license, I have strict limits on how often I feel comfortable going out to eat each week, I have a very non-conventional gender identity, I extremely obsess over our house's cleanliness and organization at random, unpredictable times, and I even have unique intimacy needs due certain physical limitations of my own. I could go on and on, but my point is that we all have special needs. You don't have to be using a mobility aid to have them, and I know many people that are borderline immobile from medical conditions or "disabilities" that have fewer special needs than some of the most mainstream looking people I've ever met. So, as the ancient Greek philosopher Plato said it:

     

     

     

    I was born in San Diego, California on August 30, 1972.
    Grew up in San Jose, San Francisco, and San Diego California. I Graduated from San Diego State University in 1996 with a Bachelors Degree in Journalism (Radio-TV News) and a Bachelors Degree in Political Science.

    I interned with U.S. Senator Dianne Feinstein from 1995-1996.

    I interned with CBS News during the 1996 Republican National Convention.

    Currently I'm a Licensed Sales Representative with Pacific Shores Real Estate, Inc. in Solana Beach, California

    I'm Co-Owner of Club Catalina BBW Night Club in San Diego, CA.

    And a newlywed, married to Kathy Edmondson as of December 31, 2012.

    I am the father of one daughter - Safiyah Edmondson (8) and stepfather to two young men, Alexander Hernandez (22) and John Rhakman Macklin (21).

    I enjoy bowling, basketball, tennis, football. I play 12 musical instruments. I also design a web page for a real estate company.
     

    Thirsty - How to quench your thirst without looking parched

    with David Edmondson

    Last month, Club Catalina of San Diego, CA, celebrated its Annual Halloween Boo Bash. Judging from the 4 million plus views of The Booty Shaking Contest on Facebook alone, it was more than successful. Pardon the shameless plug, but we will be doing it again next year, from October 23rd thru the 25th, at the Crowne Plaza Hotel, in San Diego. Having the benefit of being married to the owner, I got to see firsthand, what itís like for a woman to have to endure some of the seedy, shameless, thoughtless, perverted and downright sad pickup lines that get thrown their way.  I remember being in that half not more than three years ago and fortunately for me, my wife Kathy somehow chose me anyway.

     

    I have to acknowledge that times have changed in the dating game and the practice of pickup lines and tawdry photos has advanced to the internet and cell phones alike. First, I am not a relationship expert by any means and if I ever say that I am, please strike me down. I cannot tell you what will work for most women because:

     

    1. Each and every woman is different

     

    2. Iím not in the practice of helping you fill up your phonebook as you should be trying to win one woman, not sleep with 30.

     

    Having said this, I can offer advice on what NOT to do when trying to capture a woman. You would not believe some of the things Iíve seen.

     

    First, you wonít win any points with a woman by sending lewd photos of yourself. If a woman wants to get to know the real you, then sending those types of photos are not going to win her over. Chances are those photos will make the rounds to her friends, whom will tell their friends and so on and so on and (you get the idea). This will forever label you the creepy guyÖÖ.a label that you will not be able to shake.

     

    Second, repeated emails, text messages and phone calls, every hour on the hour WILL NOT convince a woman that you are in to her. They will only convince her that you are in fact THIRSTY, DESPERATE and NEEDY along with every other adjective in that category. No woman wants a man fitting that description. This includes calling a woman at ungodly hours of the night. If you have it that bad there are venues and other outlets for that type of activity.

     

    Third, arrogance does not exude confidence and can be a big turn off. A woman doesnít need you for money or stature as she can get that on her own. Just as you may feel she is lucky to have you, you must also remember you are lucky to have her. Itís certainly alright to brag about yourself but you need not make it a one sided conversation as that will get you left at the restaurant.

     

    It all boils down to using your common sense. If it feels wrong then chances are it is wrong. Women are better at using their intuition because they actually USE their intuition. There is a certain level of decorum that should be applied when approaching a woman. Again, I canít tell you what makes a particular woman tick, because each of us as human beings, have our own quirks. However, if you can avoids these errors in judgment, she just may open the door and who knows, you may just end up watching the dating games from the sideline like I do.

     

     
     

    Freakie has been a member of the BBW community for over 20 years. She lives in Washington State with her two cats Boo Boo & Maxie, and has also resided in California and New York. Besides advocating for Big Beautiful Women she is a lifelong child advocate and is a strong believer in Size Acceptance (ALL sizes). She dreams of travelling the world and being an ambassador for the fat community. Her personal motto is, ďFAT CHICKS RULE!Ē

     

    Kyssi Abdrews

    with Freakie

     

    I recently saw a Facebook post about a little girl named Kyssi Andrews.  She is fighting cancer and dreams of one day being a law enforcement officer.   She had already been made an Honorary Houston Police Officer and was now being made a Texas State Trooper; miniature uniform and all. 

     

    Normally I would applaud and enjoy a story like this; that is my kind of ďReality TVĒ.  Unfortunately it resembled ďrealityĒ television programming too much; the whole thing was so manufactured and staged that it took too much away from her actual experience.  It was all about the news coverage rather than all about Kyssi.   Itís too bad that the people who made this happen didn't approach it in a way that would have made it a lot more comfortable and fun for Kyssi.  They should have had an officer befriend her beforehand, spend a little time with her, and then taken her on a pre-planned "ride along" making her believe she was that officer's partner for the day.  Forget the media coverage.  In this day and age you can get PLENTY coverage from a few hidden cameras.  I hate the "dream come true" shows that are more about the ďSPLASH!Ē and less about getting as close to the dream as possible for the recipient.  It is not hard to make a six year old believe something.  Doesnít she deserve a little escape from reality, to make forget her struggles and smile all day long?  Shouldnít that be the focus of the day? 

     

    Iím looking for a job and I would be more than happy to be a consultant on the next attempt to make a childís dream come true.  Iíll do it for free.  I guarantee it will be a thousand times better, and a lot closer, to what Kyssi Andrews deserves.  What all of the Kyssi Andrews out there deserve.

     

    Christmas is coming and we can do better.  Sign me up.

    To support Kyssi in her struggles you can donate here:

    http://www.gofundme.com/kyssistrong

    To cheer her on you can find her here:

    https://www.facebook.com/KhyrstinKyssiAndrews

     

     

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