This is the last issue for Large & In Charge
Magazine and I would like to take this opportunity to thank
Raqui for the love and generosity she has extended to me and my
wife Kathy. Raqui has held the banner for plus size people for
over a decade and I have no doubt that she will continue to
succeed in whatever she chooses to pursue. Iím also confident
that this will not be the last we hear from her.
I would also like to
thank all of you, for allowing me to rant and rave for over a
year via this column ďThinking BigĒ. It has been a gratifying
experience that I will not soon forget.
Saying goodbye can be a heart-wrenching
experience for some people. You add that with the prospect of
spending yet another holiday season alone and the only people
cheering for your misery are the psychologists, waiting for you
and your money to fill their couches. So instead of saying
goodbye for the foreseeable future, I will instead leave you
with a few things to remember until we meet again.
BE YOUR OWN MAN & LISTEN TO YOUR INNER VOICE
This does not mean ignore the advice of a
woman, in fact you may find yourself alone because you failed to
heed the advice of a woman. With guys, itís a pride thing. We
always have to take charge be the leader even when it means we
are taking on larger than life problems. The mistake we make is
that we try to ignore the issue in front of us instead of
embracing the issue and finding ways to resolve it. Taking this
approach would help alleviate a lot of the stress that comes
with trying to be the King of the hill. You will also find that
this approach will silence a lot of your haters or as I like to
call them ďThe Peanut GalleryĒ.
DO NOT BE AFRAID TO LEAD BY EXAMPLE
This use to be something men did not have to
discuss with one another because it was expected behavior. Yet,
somewhere in the 21st Century, the art of manners was
erased from existence. The practice of walking the elderly
across the street or opening the door for a woman is seen today
as something to laugh at or something to do in order to receive
favor. In this country,
this me first mentality has replaced just doing the right thing,
just because. As men, we have to get back to basics and do away
with the selfish practices. As we are supposed to teach others
by example, our lack of leadership, is reflected in our
children, which is then reflected into society, from mediums
like TMZ or YouTube and Instagram for the rest of the world to
watch and shake its head in disgust.
WOOING YOUR WOMEN DOESNíT END WHEN SHE SAYS I DO
If you remember nothing else from me, please
remember that just because your women said yes, it doesnít mean
your work is done. In fact, it means your work in keeping her
happy is only beginning. Complacency is the number two biggest
issue in a relationship, with communication being number one.
We blame our women, when we come home from work and they
are home all day. We say, you donít dress sexy enough and use
that as an excuse to go out to the bar or the strip club. But,
when was the last time you kept in shape? You could probably use
a couple of miles on the treadmill as well. Relationships work
both ways and if youíre bold enough to make a claim that your
woman hasnít done enough to win you over, YOU better be prepared
to show her how itís done. I donít mean spend exurbanite amounts
of money every night, but you need to remind her ever so often,
why SHE chose you out of all the other guys out there. This is
after all your closest friend and if successful, your longest
relationship, even over your children, as they will eventually
leave the nest to start a family of their own.
Finally, I want to publically thank my wife
and my best friend Kathy Edmondson. Actually, Iíd like to thank
the men before me whom blew it. Three years ago, after admiring
her for two years before, I finally met her on Friday, January
the 13th. My life has never been the same. Kathy is
my biggest supporter, the one voice of reason I can talk to no
matter what the situation, she has kept me laughing and on my
toes throughout my days and nights. I could not have asked for a
more beautiful, intelligent, devoted, caring, and sexy wife. I
look forward to spending even more time together.
I hope that all of you are as or will be as
blessed as I have been to find my soul mate. Hopefully, I will
get to meet some of you in the near future and exchange stories.
I hope that as men, we will be able to take back our rightful
place in the family unit, with dignity and honor. Until we meet
again, remember there is no shame in not knowing everything, the
shame is pretending that you already do.