Moving on to being LargeInCharge in My Life
With the end of 2014
comes the end of LargeInCharge Magazine.
The Radio show will continue, and I have other projects in
mind for the future, but this part of LargeInCharge.com is closing
down. The back issues
will remain, and I will always look back at the evolution from
Newsletter to Online Magazine with a bit of awe.
LargeInCharge started off with 840 visitors a month, and now
with the doors closing we have almost a million monthly visitors,
that does not include the radio show, Itunes, youtube or facebook
page. It has been an
interesting labor of love.
The decision was a
difficult one; it feels like I am disconnecting a part of myself.
I have seen myself as a writer, and editor advance; I have
seen LargeInCharge change from the simple beginnings, growing in the
plus sized community. I
have seen the beginning, and end of too many plus sized
organizations, businesses, events, and more.
Our community has lost people as well, some have moved on in
life, and some have lost their life.
Those losses have been hard to handle but we made it through.
LargeInCharge was not
an easy venture, it started with me, and one other person, me taking
the brunt of the work, and all of the cost.
Somewhere along the way that
person disappeared without a word of goodbye, and that abandonment
was not easy to handle but I kept LargeInCharge going alone.
Letting people know LargeInCharge existed was not a joyful
experience, as I was attacked online through almost every avenue I
visited. On message boards I was berated called ignorant, stupid,
uneducated and a waste of existence.
I was written some very terrible emails repeatedly; I was
continuously harassed, and stalked by people in the community.
This Plus Sized Community that I was happy to find, one that
was supposed to support, and encourage did not support or encourage
me. The community I wanted to be a part of, and find a way to help
(in my own way) didnít want me or my efforts.
This continued for
three to four years until it finally settled down, the occasional
message still coming through, but not the constant harassment as
before. I learned more
and more that the plus sized community had a variety of groups, and
clicks, that I didnít belong to because I had no prior affiliation
or friendships among it.
I learned by reading, watching, attending events, and
visiting message boards (though I didnít stay because I didnít
belong). Still I knew
there had to be others like me who also didnít belong, and who
needed a resource like I was trying to create.
This gave LargeInCharge
a unique position, with no affiliations, sponsorship, or
connections. I did all the work myself (except for my volunteer
writers) so my costs were lower than if I had to hire a team of
people to do all that I took on.
I was able to do as I wished, and handle any topic that I
chose to, and I did handle as many topics as I could that affected
plus sized people in life.
Many times I have been attacked again and again over the
years, because I will not leave a stone unturned, when it comes to
understanding the unique struggle that Plus Sized people (and their
supporters) go through. Even the taboo subjects that others wouldnít
touch out of fear of the backlash that can occur.
The blessings have been those blue moon emails, messages, or
conversations of fear, thanks, and relief from those who have been
helped, and were courageous enough to tell me their story.
Slowly but surely more
and more people began to see me as less of a threat, along with some
television appearances and work in the community; I was accepted
through different avenues.
I enjoyed traveling, creating the radio show and video
channel, and meeting new people from different areas of the United
States. I was asked to
make appearances, judge pageants, speak at events, and cover other
news in the Plus Sized community.
I began to be known for a no nonsense type of style, a person
who says what they mean, who will not be scared to talk about
difficult topics, and stood up for what I believed in.
I also became known for supporting others right to give
opinions even though we differ.
I didnít attack others or berate them for the difference,
rather allowing them to make their points, and me making mine, then
letting it go at that. I
tried my best to give a voice to everyone, because I truly believe
we all have the right to be heard, even those who I totally disagree
with. I drew the line at
personal attacks and I think others appreciated that.
The Magazine grew, the
radio show was started and, LargeInCharge changed in different ways.
Soon enough I was known coast
to coast, and in other countries as an upstanding person in the Plus
Something I never thought would happen but I was happy, and I began
to feel I belonged in my own unique way.
I was given awards, featured in projects; I became a person
who was recommended by many in the community. Some considered me the
go to person for information, ideas and problem solving, as I was
always trying to be helpful and supportive. I have help others find
necessary items to make life easier, given support when feelings
were hurt, helped with cases of injustice; mostly I just tried to
treat others the way I wanted to be treated. I was spoken about with
affection, and the connections I made were ones of trustÖ that made
my heart soar. I will always
be thankful to everyone who truly understood my mission, and who saw
me as a decent individual.
I have been blessed to
have some wonderful writers along the way, some couldnít stay and
some stayed for years.
To everyone who wrote for LargeInCharge Magazine, thank youÖ
your voice made this unique resource possible, and I will always
look back with fond memories of your time working with me on a
common goal. I especially
want to thank my current LargeInCharge team for the past few years.
I have had some dedicated and timely writers.
In the past that wasnít always so and in these past few years
you all have made getting the monthly editions out easier for me,
since more often than not you had all of your work done with a
joyful heart. I hope
that all of you have enjoyed being part of the LargeInCharge Family
and found it rewarding as well.
LargeInCharge also got
to feature many artists, comedians, business owners, authors,
models, raffle and prize sponsors, organizations and more through
the years. I am happy
that you decided to participate in LargeInCharge, and grateful for
your contribution to society and to the LargeInCharge mission of
showing Plus Sized people by example, that we can accomplish
anything, even in a society that treats us unfairly.
I hope for your continued success and that you will see all
your dreams recognized.
Now itís time for me to
have a dream, personal dreams, personal goals that I have always
wanted to accomplish.
Ideas I want to bring to reality, things I have wanted to work on
but I didnít have the time between life and LargeInCharge.
I have a long list to put a dent in and with the closing of
the Magazine Section; it means I get to open up my schedule to goals
Working more in my real life community, helping the homeless, and
elderly, working on my art, and completing paintings I have only had
the time to think about.
Taking some courses, educating myself in different interests,
finishing any one of the many books I have started over the years.
Arts and crafts and learning new skills, getting back into
music, a hobby I loved as a child/teen, some say I had a talent for.
I could go on and on with all the things that feed my soul,
things I wanted to do but couldnít participate in much for one
reason or another. Now I
can be LargeInCharge in my personal life, with my personal dreams,
my personal goals, itís time for me to take my own advice, and do
whatever makes me happy.
Itís time to be happy, creative, to stop longing for the
opportunity, but to make the opportunity. When I leave this earth I
want to feel deeply that I reached inside myself, and fed the
creative desires that always were there, but didnít have the chance
to surface very often.
Saying Goodbye to
LargeInCharge Magazine means saying Hello to me.
A new more satisfied version of myself, which I truly didnít
think I would get the chance to advance upon in this lifetime. Time
to put me first, for the first time in my life it will be about me.
I canít wait.